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Am I still a virgin if I've had oral, been fingered, and did anal?
My boyfriend asked me tonight if I was a virgin because he is and has never done anything at all. We've been dating on a couple weeks and I didn't know how to answer it though. This is why:
I've gave a few guys head
I've been fingered A LOT
I had anal twice
I masturbate like once a day
I never had like...sex sex, you know? Like the making babies kind LOL. You know what I mean. Does that mean I'm a virgin?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Yes you are a virgin unless you have done vaginal sex.
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Well, you've lost you ANAL virginity but if you're still new down there, then technically you are. Just be safe when you do lose that one, hope this helps
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your still considered a virgin until you have had intercourse.
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Unless you have vaginal intercourse yes you're considered a virgin. However it's still considered sex. I would also suggest that if you do have sex to always use protection! If you have any more questions feel free to ask me!
iheartyou155
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A virgin is someone who has never had sex.
It depends on what you define that is. Most people believe it's penis-in-vagina intercourse and don't consider anal/foreplay/oral sex.
Have you asked him what a virgin means to him? I'm thinking he's talking about the assumed intercourse only.
You don't have to share your history if you don't want to.
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"Virginity" is such a broad term that varies from person to person. If you're concerned on what to say to your boyfriend and kind of confused on what to tell him, then I would just explain to him what you have done and let him decide if that fits his definition of "virginity". If he's mature enough, he should be able to handle this conversation, just be open with him because honesty, especially about sex, is really important.
Hope this helped!
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In my opinion- anal makes you not a virgin. But honestly, be upfront with your boyfriend about what you've done. Fingering and masturbation aren't sex so you can leave those out, but some consider oral to be sex as well. Since you can get STD's from oral and anal, its worth mentioning. Good luck!
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Ive done all those things too and I have been told that I am still a virgin. So yeah I think so. You're good! Lol
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You'll get different answers from different people about that. I'd guess that a slight majority of people would say that you're still a virgin. But the term doesn't really matter that much, especially when people generally don't agree on its definition.
In any case, I recommend just being honest with him about your history. You don't have to give him a detailed account of everything, but you can get the basic idea across in a few sentences. Telling him that you're a virgin without qualifying that statement is not quite the truth, and it might lead to other untruths in the future which could make your relationship worse than it could be.
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Hi there!!
Ah...the horizontal polka!!
Well.... you've said you've had anal twice,so has a man gone in you with his special package anally? If he has,youve had anal sex only....
But you are still a virgin... and here's why
If your guy has not slid his special package inside your vagina,then then you are still a virgin,because you have a hymen.. that hymen will break and you may bleed a little and always breaks when you have sex for the first time,after that you are no longer a virgin...
Yes,I know what you mean!!
Stay safe doll <3
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Being a virgin means you haven't had penetrative sexual intercourse. It doesn't really signify whether your hymen is intact, since masturbating with fingers or objects, and being fingered can tear it. Even physical exercise can tear the hymen, with nothing sexual whatsoever having happened. So technically your hymen isn't intact, but it's generally accepted that you are a virgin until you have penetrative intercourse, certainly in western societies/culture. I beleive in some cultures a woman is supposed to have her hymen intact when she marries, but this really is a cultural/custom/religious thing. Having oral sex with a guy does not constitute losing your virginity, neither does being fingered, or masturbating (makes no difference if you like to penetrate yourself, or prefer stimulating yourself 'outside' (your clitoris, for example). The anal sex thing is a bit more tricky. It's actually quite unusual I should think for a woman to have had anal sex before vaginal ('baby making kind')? It tends to be something they try later in a relationship. Some women enjoy it, some try it and find they don't enjoy it and so don't include in their sexual activities, some never even entertain the thought of trying it. Even the idea doesn't appeal. I think there's an idea that 'all blokes want to have anal sex with girls'. You've maybe ome across that notion yourself? It's quite often a fantasy thing, they like seeing it in porn. BUT they might not want to do it with THEIR girlfriend, and might not like the idea that their girlfriend has done it. So, I'm going to suggest something not quite honest. I'd tell my boyfriend I've had oral sex, and been fingered, but haven't had sex yet...so I'm still a virgin. In a way it's true. You haven't had penetrative vaginal sex yet, have you? I would tend to ignore the fact that you've tried anal completely. You've done it, that's OK, but it was with a different guy. Not THIS guy. Why risk putting him off by telling him something that never concerned him anyway? And that he might not like the idea of? This is purely because, like I said, it's in all fairness quite unusal to have anal first. And in fact, if it doesn't put him off he might use the fact that you have done it to persuade you to do it with him? So I'd suggest you wait a while before you mention anal sex? If after a while the subject comes up, and you both want to do it, then that's your choice. Just pretend it's your 'first time'. So, yes, I think you're perfectly justified to say you're still a virgin, on the whole. You haven't had 'sex sex', as you say. We aren't obliged to recount every experience we've had to everyone we meet upon early acquaintance, are we? Be a bit mysterious!!
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You're a virgin as far as sex goes vaginally. If you feel compelled to tell him the other stuff go for it
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Be honest.
One is you can't fake being a Virgin. Even if he is one I'm sure he knows there is supposed to be blood.
Two he will find out the truth one way or another because you never know when you'll run into an ex or get a call from them.
Three if he can't accept you for you, he's not the one. It's not like you were whoring around and, even if you were, the past us the past. Guys come and go as they please. The one will do anything to stick by your side because he loves you.
- Jae
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Yes, you are still a virgin! Sex between two people is defined as when a penis goes in your vagina. So even though you have done all that you are still a virgin :)
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You're still a virgin.
~PJC19
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This really depends on your perspective. Strictly speaking a person is a virgin if their hymen is intact (if you take a look at Google you'll be able to find information on the hymen) which is a very thin membrane/layer found inside the vagina that, once broken during sex, shows a person is no longer a virgin. However, it should be noted that not every woman's hymen will be intact because activities such as cycling or running could be enough to rupture and tear the hymen - so although no sex was involved of any kind they would technically no longer be a virgin. This really doesn't make much sense so generally a virgin is someone who has not had sex sex (baby making kind of sex as you had put it). So I would personally say yes you are a virgin. What you would like to tell your boyfriend is really up to you though although it may be a good idea not to go into too much details about past exploits of what you have done and just leave it at something like you are a virgin but you have done a few other things before.
Hope this helps somewhat.
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You never had real sex. That pretty much means that you are a virgin.
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In lexical terms, then no, you ain't a virgin anymore. Because a virgin is scientifically defined as someone with a fixed hymen.
In stipulative terms though, you are. Since you've never had an intercourse. Happy birthday :)
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just say yes, because if your saying youve never had VAGINAL sex then your still a virgin in that aspect.
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To me, you've done enough sexual stuff to not really consider you a virgin. Not really.
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In todays world there are ever changing definitions of what a virgin is. For example with homosexuals, its not simply 'vaginal sex' anymore.
Its an interesting question because its all subjective. Technically people say you're not a virgin anymore when your hymen is torn during vaginal intercourse. But again some girls can tear it by riding a bike so its all different for each girl!
When your boyfriend asked you the question, I'm guessing he meant "Have you gone all the way", as this is whats typically known as losing your virginity by having vaginal sex.
Just be straight with him! I'd say, yes I'm a virgin but I've tried some things and was waiting for the special one?!
It doesn't sound slutty or anything, its just being honest and upfront. Always best in any relationship! If you tell him you're a virgin but not about the rest of it, he may suss you've done other things anyway if you're really good at oral sex haha!
Remember he's you're boyfriend so you can be yourself around him and honest. Hope this helps!
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It really depends on you. Do you feel like a virgin?
sex is defined differently by everyone, for example some people consider themselves virgins until they have had sex with someone they're in love with(this is me), some people it's oral, others think it's anal, for some people it's only sex with the opposite sex that "counts". So if you feel like you are a virgin, you are one. It depends on what you think qualifies as losing your virginity. No one can tell you what you are
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No it means you're not a virgin anymore since you had experienced anal already. If you didn't have anyone do anal on you then your still a virgin, because with what you said you've only been fingered, and you masturbate once a day. So in result you're not a virgin anymore.
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Well it all depends on what your opinion of losing your virginity is. For example, some lesbians never have the 'making babies kind of sex' yet they aren't seen as virgins. It would appear that you're very sexually active, but if you class losing your virginiry (like a lot of people do) as when you have sexual intercourse, then technically you are. But if I were you I'd tell him that you've been sexual active in the past, but haven't engaged in sexual intercourse. Hope this helps.
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Tell him the truth, that you have experimented some but technically you are still a virgin. You should always use protection(condoms)because it is possible to contract STD's through oral and anal sex. If you are planning on having sexual intercourse with your boyfriend you should first get on a reliable form of birth control in addition to using condoms.
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Yes, you are a virgin if you never have sex. you have been fingered still the same as masterbating but if you have never had sex in your life your still a virgin like if boys masterbate he is still a virgin and that doesnt make a difference. You had sex = not a virgin.YOU have Not had sex = A VIRGIN. I hope i helped you out have a great day or night :)
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That's up to you to decide on the terms. In general, you're still a virgin.
Most people consider "sex sex" and losing your virginity.
I mean if he asks again, you can just say that you've never had sex.
Cause the term is so general. Like people who are gay can't really have the same type of sex as we do, but if they have any other type of sex, they don't consider themselves virgins anymore.
So I think the term is basically up to you. But to make things simple with your boyfriend, you can just say that you've never had sex.
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I'd say your a "virgin" if you still have your "cherry". Because if you and this guy do have sex and he thinks your not but you still have your cherry he's going to be wondering what's going on right. But since you had be done anal which is sex. Your a vagina Virgin but not anal Virgin.
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U r still a virgin
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Eh, vaginally sure, but you've done anal and have been pretty sexually active, so just telling him yes you are would not be right. Be better of just telling him everything you have done to clarify. Someone says their a virgin, you tend to think of them as more pure and less experienced, which you clearly do not fit in that category, so just tell him all you've done so hes aware. Good luck.
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Yes you are technically still a virgin. That is what practically everyone associates virginity with. Virginity is a more of a term used by society to define whether you have had sex or not, even though I think what determines whether you are a virgin or not in the scientific world, would be whether your "cherry has been popped" or not. That just means whether the "circle" of skin on the outside of your vagina has been broken. That usually happens during sex, but could be broken sometimes through large tampons, or intense sexual activity (really heavy masturbation perhaps or like being fingered vigorously, etc.) But it is safe to say to your boyfriend that you are a virgin.
Hope this helps~
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It doesn't matter. If you have sex with your b/f (or whoever), then you will definitely not be a virgin after that.
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Yes, without the actual sex part, you are technically a virgin.
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I believe what you were doing is considered as just fooling around, not quite sex, but kinda around that area. I would say that if your cherry is the same as it was before the fingering and stuff, I think that still technically qualifies you as a virgin. if you've done the finger thing with a guy and he's caused your cherry to pop, I think that would qualify as a type of sex. If your cherry is still there and the same as it was, I think your still virgin.
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In today's world, many people question whether or not those things you mentioned count. But, I think there's a pretty simple way to make that call.
More than 80% of the world engages in masturbation at any given point in their lives. Those are the ones that admit to it. It's likely the rate is much higher than that. If masturbation disqualified someone from being a virgin, virtually nobody would be one at all.
As you refer to it, being fingered, is essentially masturbation by another person. So, while surely this is more intimate, I would say that the same general idea applies here.
So, if you had only done those two, yes, I would consider you a virgin.
However, oral sex and anal sex say it right there in the name of the activity - sex. These two types of activities are the only types homosexual couples can engage in (oral) lesbians, (oral or anal) gay men, and nobody would consider those in active homosexual relationships to be virgins.
So, basically, oral and anal disqualify you from being a virgin in my opinion.
Probably the easiest way to answer him is by saying that you've been sexually active but never had vaginal sex.
I hope that helps.
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Semantics. Why does it matter? Only when you explain that, will I even understand your question.
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Well technically all those things are a form of sex. But in my humble opinion you are a virgin if your hymen is still intact.
Hope that helps.
Best wishes,
Luchia94
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Your still a virgin! Unless the penis goes in the VAGiNA then your still a virgin! hah
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technicaly your still a virgin seeing as you have never had penis/vaginal penetration.
But i wouldnt leave your boyfriend thinking you so inocent seing as you have done quite a bit of fooling around.
I'd let him know that you've fooled around with previous guys.
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I think you should let him know about that then maybe he could be the one to say if your a virgin or not,just let him know thats the past and you like him only now {if you do) so your relationship wont be ruined.:)
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You really should be honest because you could jeapordize your relationship in the future if he finds out about your past. I would say that you are not a virgin because you have had a penis in your mouth and your ass. Now if you had only been masturbating, even with toys, you would still be a virgin.
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hello there,
I am not sure if fingering or masterbating counts but you have done anal so no you are not a virgin
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Just say Yes.
There is nothing he can do about your past. Do not pretend that you don't know anything. If he asks you where your learned how to do stuff, just say, "I read a lot".
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Too 99% of the world, you are still a virgin.
Its really how you look at it.
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Fingering= masturbation and has nothing to do with virginity and has no effect on that. Everything else is considered actual sex but most people equate virginity being lost with actual traditional intercourse and some don't. It's a taboo thing right now with no right answer or definition.
If you think you still are as you haven't had traditional sex than that's fine and you haven't. However, as you were told below by another poster your partner's idea of virginity may differ. You should tell your partner that you experimented with X, Y, Z and whether or not you wish you had or hadn't and how you see yourself as a virgin or not.
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It's all about your personal definition in a lot of cases.
I think universally, vaginal sex is what people consider "sex sex".
Personally, anal sex is sex. So is oral sex. But if you don't see them as "sex sex" then you can call yourself a virgin, but it might lead your boyfriend astray.
I would just tell him what you've done so that way you aren't lying to him or giving him the wrong impression.
--Jack
(18/m)
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