Thank you for reading my question.
I am just confused and will like some help on gender identity. Here we go….
I have been assigned the gender of a girl, but I don't always feel that way. Before you start to think "Transgender?", let me get to a point.
For example, one day I feel feminine. I look in the mirror and I absolutely love my body. But the next day I look in the mirror and I hate it so much. (Wait, I'm not done yet.) Then the day after that, I look in the mirror and I don't really care. As in, I don't feel feminine or even masculine. That was just an example. Each feeling could last a few days at the most.
Sometimes, and this just makes it more confusing, I want to wear makeup while wearing a tomboy outfit. Or even the other way around. I want to wear a dress, but no makeup.
This might seem like normal, but I am just very confused on my gender. I think I have one, but sometimes I feel like I don't. But I know that I'm not agender. Please help me.
Thank you so very much.
You could be non-binary if you don’t identity being strictly one gender or if you are leaning towards androgynous. It’s completely fine to have the feelings you do. You can be whoever you want and dress up however you want depending on the day. The most important thing is you do whatever you want and you do not need to label yourself a gender. You can choose your preferred pronouns and still not need a label for yourself. You don’t owe anyone any explanations on how you feel, what kind of clothes you wear, etc. Start thinking about if having a gender is important to you, whether non-binary is an option or if you’re good with just picking pronouns. It’s a good starting point. Nothing is set in stone and you can change how you feel on things whenever.
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I live in a house with an 85-year-old who had cancer surgery in March and a 64-year-old mother, a brother in his 30's and a small child. I have been very careful to wear a mask and gloves and obey for the past 5 months every health stipulation to do with Covid-19.
Not to get political because the disease is not a political thing but in the U.S. they've rushed things in some states and the president hasn't helped by denying the existance of it at first and not trusting the experts like Fauci.
One of the things that has led to surge of cases is reopening bars, night clubs and virtually every other business you can think of in some areas. Doing so has resulted in spike of cases and some deaths.
Meanwhile, I live in Canada where they've closed the border and until recently you couldn't even gather with more than 5 people at a time. What has happened here is that there's 4 stages of reopening. We just entered Stage 3 which allows nearly all attractions, movie theaters and bars to reopen.
I have ZERO interest in bars, nightclubs, performance venues, indoor restaurant dining or any establishment that could be a breading ground for the disease.
I would just like to go downtown to the aquarium or even to the park, a museum or anything having been holed up here for 5 months with the same people.
My mother refuses to let me go anywhere but Wal-Mart or the corner store and always asks me where I'm going or if I want to kill my father and everyone else in the house by dragging Covid-19 in. It's an enormous guilt trip and I would like to have my freedom back. I get that she's paranoid and the reason for it and that she thinks things will end up like America. We've taken months to reach where we are and health experts have got us here.
I'm not trying to be selfish but I think if health experts have required businesses and attractions to submit a proposal for opening and are adhering to strict rules that it's not an issue to visit these places if you have a mask, gloves and are being bloody careful.
The only indoor venue I would want to go to that is iffy is a movie theater but not until I knew nobody who went to one here became ill. They have limited occupancy to 50 people per screen and blocked off seats and entire sections in the theaters and it's all reserved. You have to wear mask and gloves the entire time you are there.
I'm hoping you will have ideas on what I can do to get her to see that while nothing is 100% safe that this is as good as it gets and public health can shut businesses down for non-compliance with rules.
She also doesn't want me to go to parks for exercise or large ones downtown with a zoo or take public transit anywhere. I can understand the transit part but being outdoors is important.
I'm more concerned for my own mental health than anything else because these are the only 5 people I have interacted with other than my aunt for months and have been holed up in my room otherwise. I need to get out of this place.
Before Covid-19 I was going to theater, comedy clubs, major attractions and movies. It was incredibly difficult for me when that ceased and I had to find other outlets and things to do from home. You can't stay sheltered in one place for too long.
I’m not with you on this. You live with other people. If you were living on your own then your life = your responsibility.
Gloves and a mask only do so much. People still get sick. You’ve got to assume everyone that’s going out is stupid. Businesses can’t possibly do 100% sanitization all the time. My job’s protocol says we have to wipe down EVERYTHING every 30 mins. Guess what? It doesn’t always happen because things get too busy.
Not everyone out there is being careful. I’ve seen so much people wandering out without masks. Groups going out to places. Assume everyone is stupid, not wearing a mask and has probably gone to parties. Places are only opening up so people don’t riot.
If you are near anyone, you are taking a risk and also taking it home. How will you feel if you get someone in your household sick and they don’t survive? Would it be worth it?
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I have been going through a really tough time. My serious relationship of 3 yeas ended. The guy ditched me just before marriage. This my 3rd relationship failure. I'm 32. People around me are getting married and kids. I don't have many friends. I'm alone ans cry everyday. My confidence is shaking. I don't hv anyone to share my deepest feelings. I regret many things in life. I feel anxiety thinking about my future.
I've been in the same situation as you. I put years into a serious relationship, engaged for a year and he just abruptly left. I didn't really have friends either. It sucks when people around you are moving forward when you feel like you got stuck behind. I got depressed over it because I had thought I wasn't worthy of deserving those things. You have to remember other people's lives aren't your story. You have to create your own and move forward. We all do this at different paces. You are young and you've got time. There's nothing to worry about. You are allowed to be upset and to wallow because it's tough. At some point, you've got to stop thinking negatively and start focusing on yourself. Start doing things that will make you happy. You can be single for awhile, try to make friends or even slowly start to date when you're ready. You're just starting over and you're going to have new/better experiences. You have a future with someone else who will care about you. Someone who loves you won't just drop you like that. Try not to think about things you regret or putting a time frame on specific things because that will only hold you back. Think how you have handled breakups in the past and do something differently this time. I personally used to wallow and do nothing but I forced myself to do things that gave me anxiety: returning to school, juggling a new job and making friends with strangers. A break could be good for you. Focus on being independent, moving on and look forward to the future. Don't dread it!!
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I am a 30 year old female and I live at home my mom and stepdad . I live at home because I have some disabilities. I just dentures and the place I went to did not do them right. My stepdad has took me 3 times already and refuses to take me again. The dentures are to big for mouthy. I can't even wear them . I don't drive due to anxiety. He yelled at me when I asked me to take me again. My mom can't take me due to an illness where she uses a wheelchair. I don't know where to turn. I even suggedted going on the medical van by myself because they take you to all appointments for free if you have Medicare but my mom said no to that. Is there anything else I can do to get these things fixed. I have been going around with no teeth.
I don’t really know much about the process of dentures. Is it something that you try on at the office? Is it too big to fit in your mouth at all or uncomfortable (hitting your throat?)
If you already went to the dentist to get it altered or remade after 3 times... is it a money thing? It’s odd that your parents don’t seem to care that you haven’t been wearing it. I could understand why if every visit is costing them a lot of money.
Do you have insurance or a way to secure a ride there yourself like a friend, family friend or a service like Uber?
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im girl 17,i told my classmate(boy) who is also my crush in the concrete i gave him a note, saying i like him..two days later, i asked him to talk about it bc he didnt give any respond and i wanted to how he feels ,during school,i asked him if we could go and talk somewhere private , he said it is nice that i told him about my feelings for him,he also told me that he know how hard it must´ve been for me to hide my feelings from him.then he said he doesnt have time for relationship bc he has activites besides school (he plays guitar, he dances)and also he told me he firstly wants to develop more spiritually..(if that makes sense) bc we go to catholic church ,and then he hugged me saying that we should continue to be friends and then i deleted him from my friends on fb during summer holidays bc i was always checking if he is online.now is new school year and he found out i removed him from my friends on fb, and he texted me why i did that, and if he did something wrong he is sorry , i told him i did it bc it hurts me and that i dont want to be friends, and he said it´s ok, i thought it would hurt less, but it hurts me more ,now i ignore him bc i dont know how to act to him..he sent me friend request on fb but i didnt accept it yet..he was good friend to me before i told him about my feelings..please help me should i be his friend again or not? if yes what should i tell him,why i suddenly accepted his friend request on fb,and also today is his birthday, should i wish him happy birthday even i removed him from my friends??..thanks for help :)
Did he mention that he had feelings for you or just said 'no time for relationships'? If he didn't mention any feelings and he said that, then yeah.. it's rejection. He just wants to be friends. He acknowledged your effort and gave you two reasons why he wouldn't go out with you.
If he only noticed you removed him from Facebook because of the new school year. I think that's another sign.
You can only be good friends if you don't have feelings. You can't expect him to like you back if you decide to be friends online again. If you can't let that go then don't re-add him. You don't want to keep checking when he's online and whatnot. You can say happy birthday if you want but I wouldn't go past that.
If you decide to re-add then I don't think you need to explain why you did.
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Hello, I'm freaking out and don't know what to do. I'm completely out of money and overdrafted by -$10 in my account.
I'm a college student who just moved off to college less than a month ago and found a new job three weeks ago. It turned out though that in the first two weeks my job didn't give me very many hours as I was training so I only wound up with about $110 for the first week and haven't been paid yet for this last week and won't be paid for this week until next Thursday or later.
My issue is that I have a car payment and car insurance which totals about $425 together and my car insurance was taken out this morning, which is what overdrafted me.
I even sold a watch that I loved to make money ($80) but I sold it online and now I won't get paid for it until the buyer gets it and accepts it, but who knows when that will be when I just shipped it today.
My car payment ($316) is due on the 26th and though I have a grace period I have no idea how I'm going to be able to make this!!!
Fortunately, because I am a college student I at least have a meal plan so I can depend on that for food during the week. However, I have no money for food on the weekends or anything else I might need. I'm also 100 miles behind on an oil change in my car so I don't even feel safe driving it and it needs a synthetic change which is $60! I don't know what to do, I feel like everything is a giant disaster right now!
I can't ask my mom or dad for money because they don't have any to spare and I'm stuck on campus without any friends since I'm new here.
Please help me with some ideas!
I'm actually in the same boat as you. You need to ask at your job if you can pick up more shifts or hours. That's the only way to get the car payment done. What kind of job? Can you switch to one that also gives tips? I make about $132 each week but can get up to $150 in tips. You won't make your car payments with those hours :\
You need a credit card. This will help you out. Did you apply for financial aid?
Can you ask your old friends to lend you some money through Venmo? To cover your overdraft?
Is it possible that you can take some food home or hit up a dollar store for temp snacks?
Ignore the oil change because you need to focus on the car payment and getting food. You will have to be frugal until you can get savings.
You can sell things on Etsy, sell things in person at a public place and pick up odd jobs in a neighborhood. There is no quick fix.
You can also list services up on Fiverr
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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help.
I'm confused.. he's no longer interested in you because you opened up VERBALLY with another person? And did you actually date before or did it not start yet?
If you already explained to him that you weren't ready and you wanted to focus on yourself.. then he should have waited. It makes sense to put yourself first when you don't want to jump right into something.
All you did was talk to another person and he's behaving that way.. he might feel betrayed and jealous.
It's great that you are wanting to get your life together and you are doing YOU.
If he really wants to be with you then he'll get over it. Just him saying it's impossible seems like an attempt to hurt you even more and try to get you to cling onto him.
If you want a relationship with this person then explain it to him. If it's still "impossible" and you're too hurt over this then you say you can't be friends. Don't play those kind of games because you will feel worse getting strung along.
Keep on focusing on yourself, surround yourself with positivity and great friends.
The best way to get over someone is to remove them for your life. Block accounts, phone numbers and don't see each other because you'll just drag out the healing process. If you feel like you could be friends still then go for it!
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My boyfriend asked me tonight if I was a virgin because he is and has never done anything at all. We've been dating on a couple weeks and I didn't know how to answer it though. This is why:
I've gave a few guys head
I've been fingered A LOT
I had anal twice
I masturbate like once a day
I never had like...sex sex, you know? Like the making babies kind LOL. You know what I mean. Does that mean I'm a virgin?
A virgin is someone who has never had sex.
It depends on what you define that is. Most people believe it's penis-in-vagina intercourse and don't consider anal/foreplay/oral sex.
Have you asked him what a virgin means to him? I'm thinking he's talking about the assumed intercourse only.
You don't have to share your history if you don't want to.
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So in one of my classes I sit by a girl who's very quiet. She never starts conversations, and other people know her as a mute.
I always start the conversations even when we're told to work in our pairs. So today I tested her just to see if she would actually initiate conversation instead of me. She didn't.
I'm shy myself, but I overcome this to get on with people. I mean she doesn't even TRY-including never answering class and having no friends in the class despite my best efforts to befriend her.
What should I do to get her to talk?!
I don't know if she's an actual mute or selective. Just don't bug her. If she's not smiling, laughing or looking in your direction, then you are making her UNCOMFORTABLE and you need to back off.
If she's known as a mute, then you are definitely not the first person to try to get to know her. Which is starting conversation, trying to test her or those stupid "you talk too much" jokes.
Some people just do not want to speak. It may be anxiety related or they have nothing to say. It sounds like it could be a social disorder to me. It's fine if she doesn't want to talk or participate in class. It's what she is comfortable with.
You can try writing her a note and see if she'll respond. If she doesn't then still be friendly but don't try to "get" her to talk. That's not cool.
You may think you are making loads of effort to be friends with her but have you even considered that you are actually bothering her? Maybe she doesn't want to be your friend or you are giving her anxiety and unwanted attention. Or both. Not everyone wants to overcome shyness.
I'm not trying to be mean but if that's one of your goals for that class then you are probably not viewed as a nice person in her mind.
Try notes instead and see if you can get a respond. I don't know if it'll be an immediate respond or pass her a folded note so she could read it later. It's all about comfort. The more you try to force your way in, the more closed off she will become.
- A selective mute who has been through it all.
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This is a question for anyone who has/is taking birth control pills and has a good knowledge about them.
I have been taking birth control for about 5 months now and this is my first time trying "the trick" to skipping a period. You know, you're supposed to go from 1 pack to the next pack without using the placebo pills/fake pills. Well here's my problem.. I didn't take the next pack right away.. I waited 2 days and then started the next pack. My period doesn't start until the 2nd placebo pill day. So my question is.. is this alright if I didn't start the next pack right away? since my period doesn't actually start until then.
I'm also very confused (as this is my first time skipping a period with birth control) on where to start from now. I called my nurse and she said I have to start new wherever i start taking the pill again.
Here's my example- I usually start the pill week on mondays. So I just finished my 3rd week of pills and now its time to get my period. Well since I don't get my period until wednesday, I waited until wednesday to start that new pack. Now where do I start now? You know how the birth control pack has those little stickers you can stick on that say the days of the week so you know where to start? well do I start wednesday now? or monday as usual? I took 2 pills already today (i took the monday and tuesday one) and so does that mean i take the wednesday and thursday one tomorrow (thursday)??
I'm just so confused on where to start now. please help! thank you!
You'll want to avoid waiting and just go ahead with taking your next pack. Sometimes you either skip it or get a lighter version/spotting.
Take the next pill. I honestly don't bother with the stickers. It's just important to take it daily.
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in about a week me and my boyfriends one year is happaning... so what should i get him because he said hes gonnna get me somthing :l...
btw were 16 (nothing over 100$)
You should be forward and ask him what he wants. It shouldn't have to be a guessing game at your age. You know him better than anyone here :) If you know what he likes then get ideas from that. The usual stuff. Interests, hobbies. Games, bands, etc. But asking him will show him how interested you are in getting him a gift. You can set a money limit and ask him to look something up. If you don't have much cash then explain that.
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Hey! I'm a fifteen year old girl, sophomore. My boyfriend is a seventeen year old boy, junior. We've been dating for three months but we've been friends for years. Okay the thing is, I'm a girl that's extremely attracted to the athletic kind of guys, and really turned off by laziness... That's just my type I guess. My boyfriend is fit and active and plays football and baseball. Butttt... he's recently decided he wants to quit baseball. He says he just doesn't want to play this year. Is it bad that I WANT him to play?? Because I do... It's just thats part of why I'm attracted to him I thought that was part of who he was and I dunno I feel like it's really shallow but I just want him to play. And I don't know what to do because it's actually bothering me... I don't know how to get it across to him that I don't think he should quit but ugh I don't know what else to do... It's not completely shallow reasoning though. Two years ago I quit soccer (my reasons were a little different though I quit so I could join a more time consuming competitive cheer squad) but I really really miss soccer. I thought I didn't want to do it anymore but I still wish I could have done both. I've told him this but he sounds pretty set. My third reason is... I'm worried that when he has nothing to do and when I'm going to be really busy with cheerleading that he's going to get super demanding of my time. Baseball workouts are just about to start too so I can't put off this problem... What shoudl I do??
Right what you have there is what you should explain to him.
I'll have to agree and say that I'll like my SO to be focused on something. Whether it's physical or not. I am not attracted to laziness because I have been like that in the past (going nowhere basically) and want my SO to have the same goals/motivation to further motivate me.
What i mean is to tell him that you quit soccer and that you missed it. Maybe he would to with baseball. If he doesn't want to do it, you should accept it and push him to towards another hobby. What does he like? What does he do?
I don't think he would be too demanding if he knew you had cheer leading related things to do. I think he would be more understanding since he's in sports and such.
Is he only quitting baseball? If he's pursuing football you should support him :)
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when a guy looks at you and smiles and then looks down and smiles?
Honestly?
It can be mean anything.
Maybe he got caught staring at you and is embarrassed. Maybe he thinks you're attractive or something. But the fact that he looked down, just makes me think he got 'caught' for staring. You can make whatever you want of it but you'll never know for sure if you don't attempt to make conversation with him. Smile back and say hi.
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Please don't answer if you are just going to tell me stupid **** okay? Because quite frankly, I don't care.
Well, I've only been high a handful of times but whenever I do I don't like it at all. When I get high all I want to do is go to sleep so when I wake up the feeling will be gone.. because I don't like it. Now, I wish it didn't affect me like this. I wish I could enjoy it but I can't. I just get really tired. How can I make it more enjoyable? Or is this how it will always affect me?
Should I just stick to drinking? Because when I drink I actually have fun..
I used to smoke and enjoy it but now I don't. I don't like the feeling. You can either enjoy it and hang out funny people or not. It might be easy to like it when you're in the right situation. You shouldn't be previously tired. Sometimes it can't be helped. Maybe you need to try something else.
More than half of the times for me, I ended up eating right after just to end it.
You might just be one of those people that don't like being high. Being high and drunk are completely two different feelings.
Just do what you feel is right for you but be safe about it.
Have you tried drinking (getting drunk/tipsy) than smoking?
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So today I decided to be spontaneous (bad idea) and attempt to go blond. I have med/dark brown hair. I ended up at the drug store and came back with Loreal Super Blonde... its a bleach. So I did everything according to the instructions and when all was said and done, most of my hair ended up a light brown which looks pretty nice, but the top of my head (probably 2 inches from each side of my scalp) is a horrid yellow/orange. I know the typical piece of advice would be for me to seek professional help. But honestly, I do not have the money for that right now. I've contemplated 2 options: using a blond dye over everything and hoping for the best... or just re-dying it my natural color, or almost black. Would black do the trick? I am helpless. Thanks a bunch!
Your roots are new and will lift quickly compared to your ends.
You got this far. I wouldn't waste the effort with going back dark.
Do you have pictures?
You can attempt to bleach your roots again but leave it on until it's a lighter yellow/blonde. To be safe you can wash it out and blow/air dry. Then bleach the rest of your hair to get to the same shade.
You should buy a toner :) A purple/blue will take out yellow/orange tones. You put it on as if it were shampoo and let it soak in then wash out. I know beauty supply stores carry $3-4 "packets" of toner, bleach, hair treatments, etc.
If your hair is damaged then look into a cheap protein shampoo. Use this 1-2 times a week and your hair will be soft.
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long!
That sounds quite odd. He didn't admit to a thing because you had no evidence to back you up. The fact that it is now hidden just says it all. A facebook group is ridiculous and he shouldn't be writing about personal bits of your relationship. What did he write that was personal. Was it bad?
If he doesn't own up to it then that's an issue. He shouldn't announce on a public group (maybe?) About what goes on in your relationship without your consent. It makes matters worse that you pointed out a secret and now it's private.
Honesty is so important in a relationship.
If he can't open up to you and admit to what he did then you need to have a serious talk about the future with him.
Is it still private to your bff?
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you stated you refuse to have sex? for what reasons and why? during marriage? are you catholic?
Where was this stated?
I'm not a virgin or religious.
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F/15 . I'm pretty skinny. Weight :120. Height :5'6.
But I eat like crazy. I could eat 2 breakfast burritos for breakfast ,nachos for lunch ,chips during the day ,Mcdonalds after school ,and pizza for dinner . So theres obviously a problem . . . maybe even an eating disorder? Anyways I've recently become VERY worried about gaining weight.
So basicly I just need help with some kind of healthy foods. Does anyone know anythinq I could replace these foods with? Because I can't really think of any.
Please & Thank-you.
You have normal weight and even if you gained a few pounds, it would still be normal. :]
Have cereal or a bowl of fruit for breakfast. Yogurt, orange juice, etc.
Eat whatever you want for lunch and dinner.
You can't expect yourself to cut out food that you enjoy. Eating healthier is a lifestyle. It takes time to get the hang of it. It's like saying you won't have dessert or chips again. In moderation it's okay but for example, eating fast food every day for a month wouldn't be. Take your age in consideration. You are still young and growing, you need meals and snacks. You don't want to turn into bones. Just because you eat food that's high in fat doesn't mean you will gain weight. You sound like you have a high metabolism and your body may need the junk food.
I have a friend who has a high metabolism like me that went vegan and she looks sickly thin. If you decide to cut back into certain foods, you should take vitamins too.
You should go to a library and look into some cookbooks. There's really good healthy meals to make and not so healthy but still delicious meals. :P
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im very bad at gifts.. my boyfriend and i have ben going out for a year and a half and his 16th birthday is in a few days then valintines day. idk what to get him for either day? he likes guitars, drums, concerts, metal music, making music, cooking, that type of stuff any ideas?
Oh wow, my boyfriend's birthday is close to V-day too. Gifts are kind of difficult sometimes.
BDAY:
Band t-shirts are the easiest.
CDs
Live concert DVDs
Guitar strings (assuming he has a guitar)
Guitar tuner (^^ if he doesn't have one already)
V-DAY:
You can be cute about it.
Card & Teddy bear.
Cook a small dinner for two!
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16/f
i went out with my ex for 2 years, i loved him ALOT. we broke up because he moved (bad relationship of him cheating) .. a year later i have a new boyfriend, on the 13th we will be together for 4 months. I know i like him but sometimes i have no desire to cuddle with him. he say's i have a wall blocked up for me to fall in love with him because im scared i'll be hurt again. i honestly dont know what it is. im very laid back
It is a wall. It takes time to open up again. It's been a year but cheating is pretty serious and you had time to put that in your past. You didn't rush into a new relationship after, right? You just sound scared. Have you talked to your boyfriend about it?
Not feeling passion and feeling it just depends on your mood. Everyone has off days. Sometimes I'm not in a mood to cuddle or make out but other days I am.
Every relationship is different. It's a risk you are willing to take when you get into one. But since it IS different, you should trust that person until they give you a reason not to.
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