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majorrr <<< Previous Question
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new boyfriend i can't love?


Question Posted Monday February 1 2010, 11:03 pm

16/f
i went out with my ex for 2 years, i loved him ALOT. we broke up because he moved (bad relationship of him cheating) .. a year later i have a new boyfriend, on the 13th we will be together for 4 months. I know i like him but sometimes i have no desire to cuddle with him. he say's i have a wall blocked up for me to fall in love with him because im scared i'll be hurt again. i honestly dont know what it is. im very laid back


[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Monday February 1 2010, 11:18 pm:
im very laid back now and i dont really care if we cuddle or anything i feel like i dont put effort into the relationship i do not know why... sometimes i feel passion and sometimes i dont.. why am i feeling lke this, am i over my ex? i thought i was.....

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queenhearts answered Wednesday February 3 2010, 12:31 pm:
It is a wall. It takes time to open up again. It's been a year but cheating is pretty serious and you had time to put that in your past. You didn't rush into a new relationship after, right? You just sound scared. Have you talked to your boyfriend about it?

Not feeling passion and feeling it just depends on your mood. Everyone has off days. Sometimes I'm not in a mood to cuddle or make out but other days I am.

Every relationship is different. It's a risk you are willing to take when you get into one. But since it IS different, you should trust that person until they give you a reason not to.

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SecretDreamer95 answered Wednesday February 3 2010, 3:24 am:
You may feel that you are over your ex boyfriend but as you go through life you will feel the need to protect yourself from getting hurt over again. When you finally find the guy you really want to be with you will start tearing down the wall slowly and opening up more.

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christina answered Tuesday February 2 2010, 9:26 pm:
He told you what it is. You are scared of being hurt again so you're trying not to get too close with him so that it doesn't happen. You're afraid that if you fall in love, he'll break your heart and hurt you.

I know it's hard to trust again and let someone in after you've been hurt badly, but you need to realize that not everyone is bad and that some people do genuinely love you. I think if you come to terms with that, you can start healing and start giving your boyfriend the love he's giving you.

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Deriacks answered Tuesday February 2 2010, 9:00 pm:
First off, you are still not over your ex. It feels weird for you to be that close to someone else, which makes cuddling with him uncomfortable. A lot of times when people get hurt in a previous relationship, it ties over to the next. It takes time for people to get over something that was so good, but turned out bad in the end. With this new guy all you are thinking about is your ex. Everything your new boyfriend does, you compare it to your ex. I think you need to just take things slow and let them progress naturally. Ask you new boyfriend to be patient with you, and allow you to get comfortable with him. Time heals all, and in time if you truely like this guy, you will want to cuddle and do all the affectionate things people in relationships like to do. Just don't throw this guy away, because of these weird feelings. There is a reason why you are with him, you are just not in the right place with him yet. Try to just go with the flow and allow things to happen. It will be scary, but if you don't take a risk, you will never get past this. Life is about taking risks, you will have good times and bad times. But atleast you are giving life your all and not holding back. Good luck!! let me know how things turn out. Just be patient

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crazytoad30 answered Tuesday February 2 2010, 6:51 am:
you do have a wall built up. obviously this new dude is somthin special to you since you've been together for 4 months so heres what i think you should do. learn and soak in all the mistakes of your last relationship and keep them in the back of your mind as kinda a reference to go to if you get stuck or confused. then just let go of any worries, hard feelings, or emptyness that your ex left you with and move on. don't be afraid to love this boy. have faith that hes nothing like you last dude and be strong girl:) good luck.

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