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I have gone from younggrandma to just yg. Now,
I am using my real name.
I don't think anyone who knows me will have trouble figuring out who that is!


I have been gone a while dealing with things in my own life. I am back now to help once again. Do not expect answers from me that just tell you what you want to hear. Life is to short for nonsense. :)
Website: advicenators forum
E-mail: krickel@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: KANSAS
Occupation: Homemaker,EMT, ER worker, Medical assistant
Member Since: March 4, 2005
Answers: 10042
Last Update: May 22, 2015
Visitors: 488804


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My dad died recently and I do not miss him at all. He was the true definition of a narcissist. Everyone in his life worshiped him like a saint, except for me and that is why he despised me. We recently found out he was in a relationship with a woman he worked with, who adored him as much, if not more than my mom did. He had a tight-knit friend group with his work colleagues and basically lived a double life.

He and I have not gotten along since I was 5 or 6. My 10 year old diary has pages and pages of "I hate my dad." All of the screaming matches in our household have involved me and I've always been blamed for them and shamed for my psychological issues. Basically, he had the same issues as me but mine were spotlighted and I was told that my issues were ruining the family. Starting at age 11, I was manipulated with therapy by being forced to go, and throughout the years I was threatened to have it taken away if "my behavior didn't improve." When it was suggested that my dad come to the sessions he didn't want to. He came to one once and put on a big fake show, making himself seem noble and honest. In reaction to the therapist saying something he didn't agree with, he went ballistic about it as soon as we got home and my mom said, "wow I'm surprised, she usually knows what she's talking about." I guess my mom served as his voice in a lot of this because she spewed out most of the insults toward me and never dared challenge HIS behavior.

Currently, my mom is seeing a therapist and she really wants me to go therapy and quite frankly, I don't want to. I understand my emotions and why I feel the way I feel. I'M ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY and know why I have been angry my entire life. Needing therapy is an object of shame in this household and I refuse to submit to that. The other night my brother told me I'm a crazy bitch and need a therapist to help me work through my issues. Meanwhile, he's the one dating multiple girls at a time and has absolutely no shame about it. I don't think he even registers that it's wrong and he may be hurting someone. Why shouldn't a person like THAT be in therapy? When I bring this up to my mom she tells me to leave him alone and let him do what he wants. Today we fought about it and she said I'm jealous of him because I'm not dating anyone.

Because my parents have been so obsessed with maintaining their perfect little image, everyone thinks my dad was this fantastic, perfect human being and everyone shows so much sympathy for me and thinks that not having him around must be so hard. My mom's sisters cry in public because they "miss him so much." They'll try to talk to me about my feelings and how I'm coping and when I tell them the truth about the way I feel they change the subject and treat me like I'm 13. I think they are really weak women because they align their emotions with popular opinion for the sake of going with the crowd, even when their niece who they "love so much" is trying to reach out to them on THEIR invitation. If I dare say anything negative about them, I'm a villain, because according to my mom, "these are the people who are there for her."

But anyway, I do not miss him one drop. I do not miss the feeling of tension that would overtake my entire body and mind every time I'd hear him walk through the door home from work. This whole experience has led my family and me closer to the truth. I am not insane after all; he indeed did do evil things. Basically, I'm happy about things I should be upset about and upset about things I should be happy about. It kind of makes me feel comfort in the idea of jumping off a bridge. That's another thing: there is a history of suicide in my dad's family, including my grandma who attempted it 3 times (so all those times she was "sick in the hospital" were for that) and her mother committed suicide. I am suspicious that my dad's "unexpected heart attack" was not a heart attack indeed. I will not commit suicide but do admit that at times, I find comfort in the thought of it and found comfort in knowing the truth about my grandma. Thank god, I am now a college grad and moving far, far away from home next year. But until then, how can I deal? (link)
I don't really think you need therapy, unless its something you want to do. Do you have feelings of guilt about not feeling bad about it? That's the only thing you might want help dealing with. You shouldn't feel that way if you do. I don't think any of us are obligated to love anyone just because we are related to them.

I think you deal with others by comforting them when needed. I know you didn't have the same feelings for your dad as other family members. Respect the fact that they did love him and now miss him a lot. You can do that for THEM because they are feeling a loss...not because you are. Do that and they will probably leave you alone.

Regarding your brother and his dating ways, not much you can do about that. It sounds like he isn't off to a very good start. He will learn one of these days if he's lucky. So will the girls he is dating. They will talk & word will get around that he is bad news. Payback won't be fun for him.

Congats on graduating college. Hope your moving leads you to a good place.


So me and ny boyfriend had unprotected sex 3 days before i was supposed to start. I was supposed to start may 2nd but i havent started and he didnt cum inside me but were not sure if he was precumming..could i be pregnant ? Because i had been on medication the week before and ive been super stressed for about 2 weeks already (link)
Give it a few more days and then take a pregnancy test. ANY TIME you have unprotected sex there is a chance for pregnancy. Yes, stress can make your period late but the best way to prevent both pregnancy & stress is to use protection. If the guy doesn't use a condom, no sex. They do tend to remember or find the money for one if you stick to your word.


Im dating a man now weve been dating fir two months. He got married when he was 23 and got one daughter. Last 2013 he got another son with different women but they got separted now the custody if the child is with him. his open to me with regards to his family and child . Though our dating still remain secret ..the two of us only know were dating . im still single his older than me about 10 years older shoul i continue to date him? (link)
No. He is married and he evidently makes a habit of cheating. Any man who wants to keep your relationship a secret...weather they admit to being married or not is bad news. Red flags should go up and you should run the other way & not look back.

Find a nice guy who wants you and only you.
Don't let this one sweet talk you into staying in a dead end relationship.


okay. this is kinda long. So i am a 15 going on 16 sophmmore in high school. I have had this crush on my guy friend (lets call him AM) since september of last year. Him and i are very close friends. He helped me through my breakups, i helped him through his, we text nearly everyday and him and i can be open to each other about family problems and depression and he is the only one who knows i cut. Him and i dated for a day back in november but broke up because he felt like he rushed and i understood. Him and i talk romantically on and off ever since then. We say "i love you" to each other, we hug each other. Lately though, he has been doing some things with me that are kind of not normal. Like on my birthday (april
14th) he gave me a hug from the back and then he looked me in the eyes and said "i love you" and i said it back. Then after that, he sat me down on thee pavillion table and he put his arms around my waist and he put his head on my shoulder and we did that until the bell rang (people were around when we sid this). Him and i never kissed before but that all changed when on wednesday he told me to come kiss him in the morning behind the buses by his car. So i went and him and i met up and he didn't kiss me on the lips once but twice. I couldnt even believe it. After that he said "i bet that made your day didn't it" and i said "yeah" then he said he liked M and i said i liked a different guy but deep down i like A. Does he like me and i just do not know? what do i do? (link)
You mentioned that you two talk to each other about everything. I think its time for more talk. Tell him how you feel because he might have feelings for you but be afraid to just say so.

Be sure you tell him that his wanting to kiss you is sending mixed feelings. Does he want a relationship with you or not? If not...no kissing!

Hope it goes the way you want it to. Talk.


I will try to keep this as together as I can, but I might go off a bit on ordering, and no, this is not by any means short. One of my lovely features is explaining as much as I can for clarification, in some places a bit just to fine point one small topic... sorry ahead of time. I talk a lot ...

Alright, I will point this out now ... we live far apart from another. Specifically I am in America, and she is in Romania. As you can tell, we've never been in proximity to each other. Now that being said, we have talked nearly every day. How much and the depth of it varies each day. I however start the conversation everyday, which begins to lead to my what I'm .. concerned about.

She has said ( wrote ) many times , that she does care, for me. She does like me, she does like to talk to me. She likes many things. We have speculated the idea of a ( distance of the long-ness ) relationship ( laugh if you wish ) and whether it'd be plausible. The answer to that is to be determined still...

Anyway, the thing is, after all she has said, she shows so little of it. You would think if you care for someone enough as you say, you would be on the gun for talking with them, actively sharing your day or thoughts without being asked, or something you can commonly hear two people do, but she does not do anything like that.
If I don't say anything one day, we won't talk.. most the time ( albeit I never give it more than a day or two because at that point I miss her. Clingy, right? ) Or, it seems almost any little thing she is occupied with, makes her completely indisposed. I know how that sounds.. but I am being fairly serious. I am on a ride or walking somewhere, I think of her, and am fully abled to talk, but it seems almost impossible in her eyes. However that is not always the case, there have been exceptions where she would still talk, like sending a voice message while almost running somewhere, so I guess it sorta makes that point invalid.
Also, she doesn't like to share a lot of anything that is... I don't want to say "intimate", but anything that just isn't publicly known.. now I can imagine " Well that is her decision you creep ", and yes I agree, but I have shared so much with her, and I didn't think it'd be unreasonable to expect similar from her. She's never told me to stop, or that's enough, she'll read it, or listen, however, if there is ever a point where her input is desired, she doesn't always give it. Sometimes she gives a totally acceptable response, other times though, she kind of just overlooks giving it on stuff. She knows I hate that, and I will ask her what was up with it, but that is when sometimes things will get tense and communicating is scarce, because I can't just sit her down with me and talk, you get upset with another this kind of scenario, you simply don't answer them because you made the person unhappy. Not in all cases where she just goes entirely, she may leave that moment but come back and then I will try to fix it, but sometimes... sort of like now, she avoids communication. In this special case however she has gone to the capital on a trip, so I don't expect a lot of talking from her, I myself would still try to give as much as I could.
To be perfectly honest, I am fairly certain it was my fault this time, for something petty. What is it you should ask? She said she was going to a club during the nights maybe on her trip ( which contradictory to something else, i will say later), and that bugged me, and my default response ..... made it obvious it rubbed me wrong. After a short spiel on why it did after she asked what, she simply said she was going for her run and that sorta started the communication cut. I've talked to her since then, said sorry, and tried to be cute and say like " take some pictures for me dear, please. " Can I be blamed though for it bugging me, even a little? The girl I care for ( who happens to be very attractive ) is going to a club, with the possibility of being full of horny, hounding guys.. or girls ( ?? ) that may want to hit on her, or more. We aren't in a relationship, so there are no ties from being a couple, but it just doesn't sit right with me. ( guy likes girl, girl likes guy, but still goes to places like that. I don't know what kind of club, but I am going to assume it's not some paradise place that keeps significant others at a peace of mind. ) Now simultaneously, I want her to be happy, have fun, and do what she wants. So, mentally I am at a crossroads, but in the end she is going to do whatever she pleases. I have a fair feeling she actually went the night this was done.
I said this is contradictory earlier, and that is because one time asking about her, she went on a short spiel on how she says shes a weirdo, and that she doesn't open up to anyone and just surrounds herself with books and no one else. She doesn't like being around others, but goes to a club... there are holes in her logic to me, that makes me question her honesty to me some. Or maybe I just over think it too much. I take this much more serious than what most people probably do.

I think I can finally start to wrap this up. If only I knew how to write like this in high school... ( bad time for humor? )
In the end, I care for this girl, I really do, more than I can realize probably, I just want to understand. About her, her thoughts, you know,things you would normally pick up in person I don't have the luxury to find out without asking. And to have the peace of mind knowing when she means something, knowing it's true. knowing they mean it when they say something. I've try to set that standard for myself.

For about 2 seconds, I pondered the thought that if she saw this, she'd maybe get why I say so much, or ask.. maybe it'd change things.. for the better in a perfect world. But then I remembered how bad of an idea that would be... But she is someone I trust telling anything to, which is a seldom thing, so hiding stuff isn't something I really do with her, you know?

One last point and I am done, I have this very small worry, that the only reason she said love, is because of her overjoy shortly before that I sent her roses. Yea, I had flowers sent to her, sue me. Apparently they brought tears to her eyes( of joy ), and she was pretty much glowing the rest of that day, overjoyed... and maybe a few days following where she felt overly affectionate, but now it wore off and she doesn't really care as much as she lead on... I hope this part is just wild speculation on my part, but I won't rule it out.

So, what do you all think, do you think she doesn't care, I'm just there for boredom sake, maybe she really does care, and I just don't have the proper way to always talk to her? Is every issue my fault for over thinking? Is her level of engagement appropriate? Do you think she could step it up, should I lower it? Something else entirely? Did the borg invade? ( Only some will get that... ) I'd like *nice* input on this. Helpful, uplifting, but fair. I think that'd be reasonable. But if the need to be absolutely rude and insulting is for you, then do so I suppose. If there is clear input on maybe how I could bring this up in a fair manner too, that'd be perfect. I want to talk to her about this, but in a way where she will sit and listen, and respond, not leave for few days making me spazz the hell out. Having other's insight on how to do it would be great. I may even try to convince her to a skype call again ( we've only done it twice, but once it has started they have gone well, smiles, laughter, goofyness, things I wish we could do more often. ) and maybe we can talk about it in real time. Sort of putting her on the spot, but it'd work.. That sounds mean I know. And no, I don't intend to actually show her this. Probably. Maybe. We'll see.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and have input. I will say, if your advice is " forget her ", that won't happen.... before this got more serious, I ... actually tried to put a bit of space, and it did not work. Plus, I don't want to honestly. I want a fix, not a quit.
Grazie! (link)
Wow! Thanks for all the detail. It does help when get useful information.

I am an older adviser, I will let you know that up front so you know. The younger crowd may have a different type of answer for you.

I really, really think you need to see this girl as a friend and not as a love interest. I am NOT saying that can't change someday if circumstances were to change. I feel from what you have said that she isn't even close to wanting anything more than friendship right now. If you push it, she may just stop communicating with you altogether. I don't think that is what you want.

When you meet people on the internet you can become fast friends. But you really do not know each other. When you don't see someone on a daily basis & see how they react to other people, and other things, you just don't know them. You know only the good and only what they want you to see.
Maybe she has had a bad experience with this in the past, or maybe she is just being cautious as she should be. You should be too. She does not want to talk about personal things because you just do not so that with strangers on the internet.

I think you should continue your friendship (You can love your friends without being "in love" with them). In addition, you should date & socialize with girls that you know at home. It may be an incorrect picture, but I see you sitting at home waiting to talk to her on the internet, while she is out living her life. You need to get out & do that too.

I hope you meet someday & everything falls into place. Until that day, stay friends and find a girl close to home. If you push wanting a relationship with this girl, you are going to scare her off.



i started using the triphasil pill on the 16 jan 2015 and since then iv been taking it everyday at the same time but today my alarm never went off and i took it 20mins later as soon as i remembered coz i take it at 5 in the morning so instead i had to take it at 5.20 ths morning bt then a few hours later my boyfriend and i had unprotected sex..is there a chance that i may get pregnant (link)
You should take the pill about the same time everyday. Mostly so you remember to take it. Even if you are several hours late taking it....take it. You should be fine. N0 form of birth control is 100% guaranteed but being exact on your timing will not make a difference. I don't think you are pregnant.


I like a boy he is goring out with my friend how do I tell him how I feel or if I like him its really really hard (link)
If they seem to be getting along, its probably best if you don't say anything to either one of them.

If you tell him, he will probably go to your friend, ask her whats up with you telling him that & then they are both mad at you.

If you tell her she will probably also get mad at you. You can tell if they get along or not. It will be hard to do but I think you will be happier in the end if you just wait & see how things work out with them. If they break up, wait a while and then talk to him or her about your feelings.


I am 13 years old and I weigh about 155 pounds, and I have really bad stretch marks all over my lower belly. I try to lose weight by exercising every day, and not eating that much, but nothing works! I am thinking about starving myself, because nothing else works! I can't take it anymore! I just want to be skinny, and get rid of my stretch marks. Please help me!
(link)
Try putting a cocoa butter lotion on your stretch marks a couple times a day. That will be cheapest & easiest thing to try first.

Stretch marks are damaged skin so you won't be able to make them go away completely. You can make them fade & not be so noticeable.

Here is a website that has options if you would like to try more.

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Stretch-Marks


you know like when you are doing "things" with yourself and there is nobody with you? sorry for being stupid. :( (link)
No, you can't. In order to get pregnant, a males sperm has to come into contact with the females eggs. So, no sperm, no pregnancy.


My boyfriend and I and his best friend went to Vegas for his birthday. I thought it would be awesome if he could experience since he just turned 21. I'm 22. So on our way back his friend said that a "girl should never make a guy go to the strip flub because it can cause problems.And I'm not saying that to cause problems for you guys but a girl should never do that". We've been together for almost a year in about a month and I trust him and am pretty confident in what we have and that's why I was comfortable with it. is that wrong of me to be okay with him going to the strip club? So the same friend of my boyfriends has a sister. They've all known each other for years since they were in junior high. When we get back home the next day my boyfriend gets a call from the best friend's sister. She was calling about some drama that is currently happening with my boyfriend. We are in the car parked and When he finds out who it is he asks if he should stay in the car or go out??? I'm confused? Then a few minutes later her tells her he'll call her back. Then after he hangs up he says "why does she even care about my drama/business?" And then he blushes. Idk. Am I overreacting? She and I are sorta friends mostly talking on snap and texting randomly. I don't want to be the jealous crazy girlfriend but idk what to think. Thank you for responding! (link)
I'm a little confused but let me see if I can help.

I don't know what your guys friends problem is, but you did nothing wrong. Lets face it, everyone has internet & naked woman aren't hard to find if ones boyfriend wants to see nekkid women. Unless your boyfriend starts spending a lot of time in clubs you have nothing to worry about.Ignore that guys remarks.

I think because of the friends remarks you might have been a little sensitive about his sister. It does seem your boyfriend expressed his concern to you about the girls curiosity about what was none of her business.

Just to ease your mind sit down with the boyfriend and talk all this out with him. It won't make you look jealous. You just want to make sure they aren't trying to stir something up between the two of you.



Ok let me go into detail so you can get a good idea its long though.

Just yesterday I had a presentation and I made DIY rainbow roses, they mixed spin some color and started to wilt. They weren't as vivid as I expected but they were fair I got this idea from pinterest. Before that I got another idea ( Pinterest also). It was a confetti bowl, I made it and it basically fell apart not presentable glue glob mess ( only a for fun craft). Then I tried chocolate bowls and chocolate lace bowls both worked until I ruined them myself. So some of the pinterest things work and some don't. All of the posts seem so neat! Even ones that seem impossible are gorgeous. I have a science fair next year had it this year but it is optional. I decided I would enter next year so my decision is made on that. Should I use pinterest for ideas categories vary and I've seen a few intriguing items. But sometimes experiments don't work and even non experimental ITEme to. I know I could try them out before hand but I don't want to try everything. Would I be better off if I just made a volcano or something? (link)
Hello there fellow Pinterest fan!

As you have learned not all the crafts work so well.
There is a blog http://epicpinterestfail.com/ & Even a pin board I believe its called Nailed it! Pinterest fails. If you what to see some hilarious fails. You are not alone!

I don't think you should give up. You have plenty of time between now & then to find one that works. Just do some hard thinking before you try something.
I have seen that rose thing work with just one color.

Do you have Pin boards of your own? If not, you should consider making some. Its a fun hobby. You can even make yourself a board for "Things to try" & another for "Tried these and they didn't work".

Have fun with your experiments. :)


M/17
This girl that like or have crush on,I dont know what to do anymore. This past few weeks we gotten really close to each other,we texted a lot but i dont if thats enough. I mean She knows that i have a crush on her,because I confess it to her,its suppose to be an April fools prank but I lost the oppurtunity to say the "April Fools" so I yeah she knows. Of all the girls that I have a crush on Shes the different one,because I didnt even bother to know those girls more,but this girl shes really different from the others....I dont know. I miss her a lot,because its summer vacation here in the Philippines,and Im not gonne see her at school anymore because were entering college soon (we have a different schooling system here) I think Im falling for her,and this my first time to make an effort to know a girl. Oh and never had Girlfriend before so I dont know what to do...so bear with me...Should I continue this?? (link)
You need to talk to her. If texting is your only way of communication, let her know that you are serious. Make sure she knows she stands out as different than all others and that you would really like to get to know her better. Talk to her in person if that's at all possible. If it isn't talk to her however you can. Just do it. :)


What are some special studies and skills of a dental assistant? (link)
I think I found a site that tells you what you are wanting to know. Check this out. :)

http://www.lanecc.edu/hp/dental/dental-assisting-essential-skills-and-abilities


My ex has been troubling me....he is threatening me that he would upload my nude pics on social media..I don't know how he got those pics...I'm really scared....can I do anything if he uploads those pics??is it punishable??will he be punished by law??I am from india (link)
Oh my. Let this be a lesson for all the ladies out there. No matter how good you think your relationship is, things can change over time.
If you allow someone to take nude photos of you,
it can come back to haunt you in the future.

Yes, if he posts those nude pics of yours online, he could probably get in trouble. The problem is that it could cost you a lot in legal fees to get him to pay up. I suggest you talk to an attorney & ask how you should handle this. If you cannot afford to do that, you might check with a college where they teach law. Sometimes law students (in connection with the school), can help you for free or at very low cost to help with their education. That is where I would start. Good luck
to you. I hope he gets in trouble!






















































































































































































































































































































































what do i do? i am a girl my best friend is a boy and i have a crush on him, how do i tell him it without it being super awkward? (link)
I think it could get awkward if he doesn't feel the same. It could also change your entire relationship if he doesn't feel the same. You need to be aware of that before saying anything. If he doesn't feel the same he could back off & you wouldn't want that to happen.

I do agree that it would be best to discuss it with him when you are alone.

Do you have any reason to think he feels the same? I think if it were me I would maybe just be friends and see what happens. I think if you both feel the same it will become obvious sooner or later.


ive been pretty depressed for a while... i got my first bf in feb. 2014 and we broke up last week. also my frinds started fighting and hating eachother. i lost my only 5 frinds that i had made since 1rst grade. i started getting bad grades on my report cards and im getting made fun of for it. im just 10 years old but i cut myself and hav suicidal thoughts... please give me advice. (link)
This site is only for people 13 years old and older. We have to delete your question remove you from the site.

Please tell your parents that you are depressed so they can take you to a doctor. It sounds like you could use some help.


I told my friend I liked him and although he said he didn't like me as a crush, we agreed to still be friends. It's been about three months now and I want to get over him. Therefore I don't message him first anymore now but do respond and talk when he does. He used to message me first but for the last week he doesn't and at school even it seems like we don't talk much anymore. Even though I know I want to get over him, it is kinda heartbreaking when he doesn't message now. Should I message first? Why does it seem like he is kind of avoiding me? How can I get over him as a crush but still have him as a friend? I'm a 11th grade girl if that helps. (link)
I think you may have scared him a little.

I would imagine it is a little tough for him to text you first because he probably isn't sure what he should be doing. He probably doesn't want to hurt your feeling or make you feel bad in any way.
I would say he is backing off a little to make it easier on you. If he were to just continue to text first like nothing had happened, you may not take it seriously that he doesn't have feelings for you like that.

Let some time pass. You can still be friends but it may take a while before you can be as close as you have been in the past. To answer how you can get over him and still have him as a friend...it will just take time. Not a good quick fix but that's the only answer.


My fiancée and I were fooling around a month ago and after I gave him a HJ and he came, he went to the bathroom to clean up and I for whatever reason put my finger into my vagina. I did not feel any wetness on my finger from the semen. Two weeks later I got my period, however it was slightly irregular due to recently stopping the pill. Is there any chance that I may be pregnant? I've also taken two pregnancy tests in the past week, both negative. I'm just experiencing a lot of anxiety due to this. (link)
You could probably get pregnant if you had semen on your finger & then put that finger in your vagina.
It wouldn't be a real strong likelihood, but it could happen.

Since you have had a period since that time, I don't think you are pregnant. You have also had a couple of negative tests. Anxiety can cause period irregularity too. I don't think you have anything to worry about at all. Do be careful in the future. :)


Which medicine therapy would be best for a diabetes patient? (link)
Whatever your doctor recommends. Write down any questions you gave before you go to the doctor
and have a long talk with the doctor about your treatment.


How should i trust on ayurvedic medicine for diabetes? (link)
Ask your doctor about the medication. If the doctor feels it is right for you then try it if it sounds like something you need. It can be very hard to get blood sugar under control. Follow your doctors advice.




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