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trisspoke (7:31:17 PM): make me your forum link!

advice

Hi! I'm having a love crisis here that I need a little advice on. There's a guy that I like and I'm pretty sure that he likes me. He's pretty cute, hilarious, an amazing artist, and a decent writer. The problem is, he's not smart. He gets straight C's at best and he's just over all not super intellectual. I wouldn't mind him not being naturally academic if he would just TRY. I've worked with him in groups and partners and he doesn't try to hide the fact that he doesn't care about school at all. I've been an above average hard working honors student my whole life so you can see why his lack of effort turns me off. Am I being shallow? I really like him, but I'm not going to even think about asking him out if he doesn't put in a little effort.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to date someone that's your intellectual equal. The relevant question is whether or not this is a "deal breaker" for you. If you were to date would you constantly be wondering what it would be like to date someone smarter, or is this something that you think you would get over in time?

From the sound of your question, I'm assuming you're on the younger side. Now is the best time of your life to date around and find out what qualities are the most important to you. You could try casually going on a few dates with this guy and deciding whether or not you still want to date him in spite of his lack of great grades. If you find that he is definitely not what you're looking for, you can politely tell him you think you're better off as friends.

Of course, the choice is ultimately after you. You don't have to even try a few dates with someone if you don't think it'll work. Don't be afraid to have certain qualities that you aren't willing to overlook.

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My undergraduate tutorial is due on April 29th, 2015. Right now I am in the process of writing it. I graduate in two semesters and need to hand in my final thesis in order to graduate with an honors degree.

Although I am not as far as I would like to be, I am attempting to come up with ideas as to what I could write about for my thesis. I have formulated an idea and would like to know what others think about this.

Since I am a Business Administration major, pursuing concentrations in Finance and MIS, I have thought to discuss digital currency, which is a very interesting topic. When referring to digital currency think along the lines of bitcoin, which is a cryptocurrency (basically a math-based currency that exists on a computer hard drive as a form of exchange).

I am thinking that I could possibly narrow down this topic, since there are many ideas that I can talk about to the idea of the government using it for their own currency. This idea was first set forth in the 1990s, with the establishment of e-cash (basically like a debit card, that differed in that it existed as offline technology that could be used as a form of exchange… if I have any idea as to what I am talking about). Ecuador has already established their own currency, done after their government banned bitcoin and other currencies.

This idea is extremely interesting because one of the attractions of the most commonly used digital currencies, cryptocurrencies, have been based on the idea of anonymity, but may now allow the government to track individuals guilty of financial crimes. Technically the user is only anonymous, if they cannot be traced to owning the digital currency.

I hope I did not confuse anybody, but I wanted to know what people thought of this as a potential topic.

Another issue I have is that I am expected to have an advisor, who is supposed to read over and sign my tutorial, and this man has done nothing towards it. I was warned by the secretary of the honors program that I am writing it for, but was stuck because he was only finance professor able to consent.

I feel bad for him, but nervous for myself, since this is supposed to be a minimum of 35 pages. Unfairly, perhaps, he is also getting paid for this since he is listed on my schedule as the professor for this independent study. I cannot ask any other professor help, since it would be a lengthy process that’s way too difficult right now. I keep on trying to submit it to him, whenever I get anywhere with it, but he never answers me. I think that he has to sign off on it before I can submit it. What exactly can I do about this? Suggestions?

I spoke to my best friend about it, and he told me that I should bring it to the dean.

My boyfriend says that he’s going to look over it, but he’s only a college senior, who has no power over whether or not my tutorial is accepted, and doesn't even go to my school.

I’m so nervous about this, since I really don’t want for the advisor to screw me. This whole thing determines whether or not I graduate when I want to (I will already be 25 years old, and it will have taken me 4.5 years to graduate), and it is something that I want very badly and other people are depending on me to do.

Honestly, I'm not proud of myself because it's due at the end of next month and I'm not even 10 pages into it. I need to do a lot of research on it, because I need to write summaries for each one that are a max of 100-150 words.

I too am in the midst of writing my thesis, so we share a great kinship!

In terms of your topic, I cannot comment too extensively on it, as I am not a finance major. That being said, my best advice is to ensure that you choose a topic that have enough information available to write a 35 page paper about. While this sounds super interesting, it is a newer field, so there may not be a ton of research or data that you can access. Keep this in mind before making a final decision.

As for your mentor/professor, you will need to go above his head to ensure he is doing his job. Contact his boss, whether that be the head of your department or a dean to complain about his sub-par efforts. You won't be able to convince someone much older (and potentially a bit arrogant, as some academics tend to be) to get his act together without some heavy pressure from his supervisors coming down on him. Don't feel any shame or regret for doing this - he's getting PAID for this and it affects YOUR future.

Also don't feel too bad about where you are in your work - my thesis is due the first week of April and I still have like 25ish pages to write (oops). Good luck!

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I have a job interview for an internship that I badly want next Friday.
It’s working in the controller’s office at a major transportation hub in New York City, easily commutable to where I live in the suburbs. This is a final interview with four people who work in the department where I would be interning. They are looking to hire four interns, and will be making their decisions that day.
One thing that would be great about this, is that it’s not only a paid internship but with permission from the finance department, I could possibly get this counted as a finance elective.
I am so enthusiastic because I have heard great things about the company, it’s well respected, and in the future I would like to work there. Although this particular branch has had issues with train accidents… not something that I will mention to them.
Honestly, this opportunity means so much to me. My goal after graduation is to get a job in my field, get myself into a position where my boyfriend and I can live together, and marry. Everything is going to happen quickly because I have this and two more semesters before I graduate.
Truthfully, I would say that I have an amazing background for an internship. I have a 3.93 GPA in college, I am involved in the honors advisory board, I have been accepted into Beta Gamma Sigma, and I was the president of the history club. Plus, I’m attending school on a transfer scholarship at one of the only AASCB-certified schools in my area. This is important because I am a business administration major pursuing a concentration in Finance and MIS.
A major concern for me is the fact that somehow I have not held a steady job since January 2014. I worked two jobs last summer, but one was only temporary and the lady who had worked at the job previously went back to work, and another one I was fired from for not “being a good fit” although they would not tell me why. I suspect that I did not fit in at the company, because the hiring manager could not tell me a single thing about what I did wrong.
I know that this is not a major point in getting an internship, since many interviewers do not expect for college students to have much real world experience. Instead, they choose to look at things, like your GPA, your leadership skills, what your professional references have to say about you (usually professors or family friends at this point), etcetera.
In the past I would say that I have been unsuccessful with job interviews, either that or it’s really hard to get an internship. Some might disagree with me, because I only go on a few interviews before getting a job. I have come close to getting the position during internships. One company I just needed to speak to one hiring manager, before they made their final decision, but they chose not to have me speak to her. Another one I did not fit into the culture of the company, but I think that this might have to do with the fact that they seemed to care so much about what your parents did for a living.
Most of my life my mother and father are working class people, who support me in everything I do, but they do not have college degrees.
However, if it’s a job that I really want, mostly I get denied for it. Even if the odds look like they are in my favor, and the HR person really seems to like me.
I’ve heard start a conversion with the receptionist, be very nice and polite to him or her, this person is often ignored but they sometimes have a major say over who gets hired.
The obvious wear a business suit, with small accessories, if desired, and closed-toed shoes. I am even going to get the one suit that I purchased last year dry-cleaned.
This is especially important in my field because financial analysts (which is my desired field) are expected to hold themselves to a very professional standard in their dress, more so than with most other positions.
Try to start small talk, either about the weather or something else. Look the person asking the question directly in the eye, when speaking to them. Don’t look at what they’re writing. Show up 15 minutes early, if earlier go to the bathroom and make sure that you look professional.
Does anyone who has more success with the job market, has direct experience with hiring interns, or who has even worked an internship before graduation have any advice for me? I’m on spring break, so is there a specific site that I should go to, videos that I should watch?

First off, congratulations on making it this far in the interview process! That alone is something to be proud of and excited about.

The best thing you can do is research what are common questions asked in your field and brainstorm possible answers before you get to the interview site. Many of my friends in business-oriented fields are aware of some basic questions that most interviewers ask and some problem-solving type questions. Research what may come up in an interview so you are prepared beforehand.

Also look into the company's culture and mission statement. Come up with clear reasons why you are drawn to this internship and want to work there. Interviewers want to know that this is not just one possible job among many for you - they want to see that you are passionate about the company.

Finally, find something you can connect with the interviewer about that goes deeper than the weather. Your qualifications are obviously the most essential part to securing a job (and hot damn a 3.93 is an AMAZING GPA), but connecting with an interviewer on a personal level can help drive the interview home. It shouldn't be anything that may be reserved for private affairs or that may seem inappropriate, but if you are both from the same home town, have the same alma mater, or find another cool thing to bond over, that should be emphasized.

Relax and know that you have some stunning qualifications that not everyone else has. Go forth confident and prepared to showcase how great your work can be!

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I'm a 17 year old female and i have been concerned with my menstrual cycles. i started my period in 5th grade, and ever since I've started having a period, its been so unregulated. I can go months without a period. When im on my period, it will only last about a week or so. I never keep track of my period because i never knew how long or how off i was supposed to be. I talked to my mom about it, and she sounds like she understands, but has not done anything about it. It concerns me because i dont think this is normal lol

While it's true that most women's periods become regular by the age you are, I know many women who experience extremely irregular periods. The best thing for you to do is see a gynecologist to get to the root of the problem. Ask your mom if you can visit hers, and if not, visit a planned parenthood like the user below me suggested. Your doctor may tell you there's nothing to worry about or may prescribe medication to you to fix the problem. Hormonal birth control will generally solve the issue.

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What does it mean when you get stomach cramps?

If you literally mean "stomach" and not uterus, welcome to the wonderful world of IBS my friend. If you are like me, you will spend most of your days avoiding the fructose-free diet you're supposed to be eating and withering on the couch in pain because you didn't have the willpower to give up broccoli and bread.

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Personally, I have been very miserable all of my life. I have suffered from OCD as long as I can remember. I moved from New York to Florida when I was five years old. It was very traumatic for me. I have tried to commit suicide, but I just ended up in a mental institution. I do see a psychiatrist, but she does not help me. In fact, I only see her for the medication. I am absolutely miserable right now, especially with my job. I decided that I will no longer give any types of hints about suicide because I don't want to end up in a mental institution again. That did nothing to help me. I am going through preparations (getting my house ready, cleaning, trying to pay off bills).

1 (800) 273-8255

Call that number for help. I don't use this site often anymore, so it's coincidental that you inboxed me this question just a few short days ago. I hope you have not gone through any preparations as of yet, and that this is simply a cry for help. The weight of the world is heavy, this I know, but there are people who want to help you and want to see you thrive.

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How do i know he really loves me when he says it?

When you stop asking that question.

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Hi! 22 F

So my mom keeps telling me i need to use something to clean my face. I have really good skin i have never broken out before... Once when i used a cream from origins and after that i was like screw this.. I never ever wash my face i never take my make up off. So i figured i would use something in the shower? Does anybody have any suggestions

You should be removing your make up nightly. Every time you don't take your make-up off, your skin actually ages 17 days, as opposed to just one. I like to use those make-up wipes they sell in drugstores to take my make-up off. They're so easy I have no excuse to skip it.

As far as a face wash goes, I would go into a Sephora or another beauty store and discuss what kind of skin you have with a consultant. They could recommend brands of cleanser that would be good for your skin. If you feel that the products they recommend are too expensive, you can look up online the drug-store equivalents. Once you start washing your face, moisturizer is a must as well.

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I thought I was in a good relationship with a guy I really believed to be my soul mate.. We have dated for one and a half years now.

I just came off the phone with his baby's mum. She felt that because he wasn't going to own up to it,then she should tell me other than me finding out from other random people. I was just in shock. He denied responsibility for the pregnancy and it turns out that he was with her the same time he was with me,and he lied to me alot of those times. The child is now one year old and he has never mentioned it to me. She broke the news to his mum because he also wasn't going to tell her.
I am a person who is slow to anger,and so it really hasn't dawned on me yet. But the more I think of it,the more I'm conflicted. I just want to shut him off completely from my life and have nothing to do with him. It's just so hard for me to believe that someone I love could do that to someone else.

I need your help on having those difficult conversations. As it is I just want to shut him off. I've found out about it less than an hour ago and I'm slowly coming to terms with it.

He cheated on you and denied having any responsibility for a child. What makes you think he won't do the same to you?

You need to break up with him. He sounds like a piece of shit, and you should be shutting him out of your life. If you believe that he's nonviolent, drive to his house and tell him what you know, and that you can no longer see him. Then stop taking his calls.

He will try to call you. He will try to get back together with you. He sounds like the deranged kind of douche that will attempt to manipulate the shit out of you until you give in. Don't let it happen. Right now, you need to share this news with a few trusted people that you can lean on and will hold you accountable if you attempt to get back with this scum. Let them be your support system and leave this asshole behind.

Do not try to reason with him and weigh your options. If he's shitty to the child he already has and the woman he had it with, he will act similarly to you should your relationship advance to that point. Hightail it the fuck out of there before it can.

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Every time I listen to a song, it's about sex. Boy celebrities only care about boobs, sex, vaginas, and big butts, and pretty women. For girl celebs...damn, ho it up. It seems that slutty girls are famous. Kesha can't sing without auto tune, but still gets fans by shaking her fake body. Miley Cirus is payed to put stuff in her mouth and twerk, while she constantly sticks her toungue out yet wrecking ball is played everywhere. And what happened to clothes???????? Middana was not very good, but became a big bag of money over pointy boobs. Brittney Spears, can't sing, can't dance, acts like a slut, rich as Fuck. Rihanna. She wears nothing but a bra and underwear and posts naked photos of herself. But everybody knows her. “hey, you know Rihanna mountain man?" “of course." Lady gaga… she used to be good but now her music videos scare me, I can't even watch them. It's like, one celeb acts slutty and gets rich and famous, then it starts of a chain reaction of sluts taking it to the next level.

Boo hoo, humans are sexual beings and I feel personally targeted by it.

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Ok so this boy is 13 and my best friend is 14.
They have been going out for 5 days now but I know something as my cousin told me. Her boyfriend is a flirt and I already knew that, he chats up anyone he can basically...

Last night my cousin was talking to him and he was saying that he loves her and wants to send pics to her and for her to send back (dirty pictures)

I really don't know what to do... Should I tell her?
How can I tell her? Should I give it time?

Help!!

Tell her. She'll probably be insulted, but she'll get over it. You're all so young that it won't matter in a few years anyway if you were honest with her and she got upset. You're being a good friend, and it's good to develop that skill now.

Also he doesn't love her, and by the time you're 20, that will be obvious. You'll laugh at the suggestion that he ever did.

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Hi i came from philippines so my language is tagalog.I am sooo very confused about the English grammar especially the present,past and future tense. For example: is,was,been,drink,drank,drunk,ring,rang,rung,sing,sang,sung,swim,swam,swum.etc. And many many more. I think i am going to memorize all of these to make my grammar correct right? Hmm i haven't known people who can teach me on how to speak in english face to face and someone to talked with. All of my friends are tagalog language and they are not good in speaking in english fast too! It takes a minute or an hour every word and if they don't know how to use the grammar well they just forget about it! And say "my nose bleeds" hahaha. Can you give me some an advice to make my English speaking becomes faster?

Yo0o0o0o0o0o Tagalog!!! Huge fan of your culture. Huge fan of Jose Rizal.

Moving on. Look in your area and see what English language services may be offered. See if schools offer English classes at night. Do a quick google search and find out if there's any services where you can find an English speaking pen pal. Look for computer programs or classes where you may practice your English as well. English is, unfortunately, a very difficult language to master. These services will help you understand the differences better than you would just by learning on your own.

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I don't feel physically attraced to my boyfriend anymore. But I do love him very much. I connect with him on an emotional level. He's like my best friend, I'm really happy to be around him, he generally makes me very happy and I also get butterflies when I see him. I don't want to leave him, because I love him!
I never thought that he was the hottest guy in the world but he does have things that I like. (longish hair, he has a nice face.)
The problem is that he doesn't take care of himself that much. He often has dirty fingernails and I don't like him touching me with them. He also has horribe acne on his back. (which I know isn't his fault but instead of doing something about it, he keeps scratching)So whenever he takes his shirt off, I get a little grossed out just because it looks really horrible sometimes. He doesn't shave very often and whenever he kisses me it hurts because of his beard. And he also doesn't brush his teeth every day which also makes me not want to kiss him. His feet often smell, his mouth gets dirty after he eats etc. He's also extremely skinny, which makes me feel kind of .. fat. Like I am able to crush him any time if I'm not careful. (Which also obviously doesn't turn me on.) I never want sex, I dread it. I also don't want to kiss him and cuddling hurts because he's so skinny. He also seems very needy at times. Like I seriously feel like his mom sometimes. If he doesn't have a stomachache, he has a headache, if he doesn't have that, then it's something else bothering him. I do like taking care of him but not all the time. I've tried talking to him about it before but I'm not sure if he understood how much this is affecting our relationship. I do think that I can be attracted to him again, if we work on these things. But how can I tell him properly without hurting his feelings too much?

Because I have a paid account, I can see that you are currently 18 years old. In the future, it might be useful for you to include this in your question for readers to gauge where you are in your life so they may better respond to your question. At your age, it's pretty unlikely that you're ready to settle down, so my answer will be geared to someone who may realistically leave this guy.

While you feel that you still want to be with him, you may find that you love him but aren't "in love" with him. Think back to the beginning of your relationship: did he have all these qualities you listed then? If so, then at the time your feelings of intimacy probably helped you overlook his less-than-favorable hygiene quirks. If this is the case, re-evaluate where this relationship is going. Do you want to be in this for the long haul? Are you going to be leaving home for college or work soon, which would put an even greater strain on the relationship? These are all questions to ask yourself.

If these habits have developed over the course of the relationship, the only thing you really can do is reiterate to him how damaging this is to the relationship in a careful manner. Telling someone they are no longer attractive to you is inevitably damaging, and if not phrased properly can ultimately ruin the relationship. The best way to approach this is with "I feel" statements. For example, you could say "I feel like when you don't put effort into seducing me, I'm not worthy of being seduced." That takes the onus off of him a bit, while forcing him to rethink his behavior.

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Hi, I'm 17, female, and a kinda past love of mine is coming to visit soon, I haven't seen him in two years. While he's here I want to get him to fall in love with me? Any tips?

Get over him. You're 17. You aren't the same person you were when you were 15. This dude could actually be lame as hell, and even if he's not, there's a whole world of guys out there to experience. I'm sure your romance feels like the be all end all of great loves, but it isn't. Be cordial to him, but go find some new boy to chase.

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So I'm 16 and I might have some feelings for this guy. He's a year older than me and we text a lot but hes hard to read and I don't know if he likes me back. He gets jealous easily when I'm with or talking to other guys. And he always wants to hang out. What do you think? Does he like me?

He likes you but he sounds like an immature dick. All seventeen year old boys are immature dicks, though, so this is pretty run of the mill. Date him at your own caution.

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21/f, 27/m

I have been dating this guy for about two months. He used to say "good morning" and "good night :-*" all the time. And he used to text me at least by 3 PM everyday. Last week, I noticed that things started changing. He stopped saying good morning and good night. He doesn't text me unless I text him first... And his texts are becoming short. When we see each other, he still kisses me, holds my hand, etc.

He recently went on vacation to LA and he texted me that he just got to his hotel and that he wished that I was there. After that, he didn't really say anything after that. He hasn't texted me at all. My friend told me that if it was him, he wouldn't be texting on vacation and I should wait until he gets back.

I have confronted him about what's been going on if asked if there was something wrong. He denies it all... He says that everything is fine and great. I'm having trouble trusting him. I'm not sure if he's found someone else or is interested in someone else but just isn't telling me. Or if I'm just thinking too much into it.

What do you think?

The honeymoon phase of your relationship is starting to wear off. It's not glaringly obvious that he found someone else--in fact, there's really no reason to believe that he has. It's just that things aren't fresh and new so the intensity of his affection has begun to cool down. This happens in every single relationship, and it's not a sign that things are doomed.

Nevertheless, I will say that this is the point that relationships either settle and continue or end. It is possible that he's over it, but this will only be established through clear and open lines of communication. A relationship isn't rainbows and grand gestures of love all the time--its the quiet agreement to love, trust, and respect one another. Now's the time to see if this was a the beginnings of relationship or pure infatuation. Wait until you can discuss things with him in person to determine this.

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So my boyfriend(also the father of our 3 month old) and I have been having terrible problems ever since our daughter was born.

First, we fought all the time because he never wanted to spend any time with his daughter. He would much rather have been partying. -Let it be known that I am 21 and he is 22, almost 23.

THEN once we were starting to get over that, we got into it BIG time, because I found two thongs in his possession that weren't mine. He told me that he didn't even know he had them and that he didn't know who they even belonged to.

BUT THEN just a few minutes ago, I was on his laptop and found naked pics that he kept from girls that he was sleeping with. Why would he keep those? I feel completely disrespected. I told him to get rid of EVERYTHING that could get us into a fight like the thongs did and he said that he had nothing else.

I know that going through his laptop was wrong, but I hate thinking that the father of my child could be cheating on me. Should I tell him what I saw? Should I admit to looking at his laptop? Do I have a reason to be mad or am I just crazy?

He is at a friend's house tonight, or so he told me, and therefor wont be coming home tonight. Do I wait to tell him when he gets home? Or should I warn him with a text?

I would GREATLY appreciate any advice that you have. I'm not above begging :( PLEASE!

Whether or not he is cheating, I think that it's clear that he isn't ready to be a father. While the underwear or pictures might belong to exgirlfriends, if he was mature enough to commit to both you and your child completely, he would not be keeping those sorts of things around.

You should approach him and tell him what you found on his computer. He will be upset because what you did ultimately is wrong. You invaded his privacy, which isn't cool in any relationship, but at this point you do have the right to know whether or not he is being faithful. You should then address the issue of whether or not he can be an active participant in the life you are building for your child. Likely, he isn't ready. That doesn't make him a bad person. That makes him a 23 year old that still needs to find what he wants from life. Keep that in mind and also keep in mind no matter what he will have to spend time with his child. You just might need to be the overall more reliable parent.

You should begin taking account of your finances and set a budget to live as a single parent because it sounds like it might come to that. Right now the most important thing is the well-being of your child. If need be, look into welfare services and food stamps. It is doubtful that you two will be together much longer.

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i am a 13/female and i like my friend that my other friend wants to ask out as well. what should i do?

Don't ask him out. In a few years from now, this boy won't matter to either of you anyway, so it's better to forget about him than to risk losing the friendship. Make sure you let her know your feelings though, and hopefully she will take the high road and skip asking him out too.

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I'm a 13 year old girl. I am straight. I have some acne (not tht bad), I have long brown hair with blonde highlights, I weigh 103 and I am 5'7. People refer me as independent, cute, awkward, funny, shy, sweet, nice, beautiful, smart, optimistic, cool and fun to be around. I have been on the honor roll since 6th grade(in 8th grade right now). I like dance, track, playing guitar, video games, photography and singing. I am not popular but I am certainly not on the bottom of the list. Why won't boys ask me to be their girlfriend, is there something wrong with me?

This sounds a lot like the questions I used to ask on here when I was 13! I'm much older now, and I can tell you that while you might not get a boyfriend now or for a few years, in the long run you won't care. The relationships your friends have now really aren't true love, and they probably won't really concern them five years from now. You also need to know there's absolutely nothing wrong with you! At your age, boys really just ask any girl to be their girlfriend whether they like them or not. Just keep having fun with your friends and in a few years you'll be having tons of fun with nice boys.

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Hi,
I recently have been talking to someone . I need advice on whether to keep him or dump him! He says "he likes me alot and wants to get to know me better." We hung out couple times . My question is does he really want to be more than friends or just playing games when he says " he was going to cock slap me ." I'm confused. . We hang out watch movies,go shopping ,talk he text me all day everyday buys me food and pays for gas. Is he really wanting relationship or just playing with me?

It sounds like he likes kinda weird shit in the bedroom if he wants to "cock slap" you, but there aren't really any signs here that he's playing games. He's probably just taking things slow, which you might not be used to going, but getting to know someone before rushing into a relationship is usually a really good sign.

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