God help you if you trusted the advice I gave at 13.

trisspoke (7:31:17 PM): make me your forum link!


Im not your average guy. I get attached easily, but I hide it well. All I want to do is care for a girl and treat her like the queen she is without being crushed. I want a commitment. I want to be nice, but nice guys always finish last. :(

I go through this cycle maybe twice a month. And my results are making myself more handsome or working out. But nothing works.

Let go of all this self-loathing "nice guys finish last" bullshit. Nice guys don't always finish last, you just hate yourself too much to think you deserve what you really want. Don't work on your body or your level of attractiveness. Work on your self-confidence and the way you feel about yourself, and the ladies will take notice.


I am a shy guy. I dont know why I am that way but I lack this confidence to initiate a talk with any girl. Too many questions come to my mind and its gone.

One thing that bothers me is what is the usual or normal duration of an intercourse excluding the time spent on the fore-play.

I am curious because first and the last time I had an intercourse, it lasted merely 1 minute. Is it a normal duration as a first timer or how is it.
What effect does masturbation has or will have on this duration?

What are the possible solutions to enhance the duration of intercourse?
How can I improve my confidence?

The first time is generally a little bit shorter, so don't beat yourself up over it. Actually, the average duration of intercourse is somewhere between 3-10 minutes. This means you should actually be paying extra attention to foreplay so your partner can get the most pleasure out of any sexual encounter.

Masturbation will definitely help you last longer, but do keep in mind that the youth and inexperience that causes you to come quickly has some other perks. You'll probably be able to get it back up again quickly for round two.

There is no quick and easy way to improve your confidence but this could help:


im 10 and im a female what should i talk about when on the phone with my boyfriend?

I'd probably talk about my puppy. She's so cute!


Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost two years now and he is a great guy. I have nothing to complain about him. He treats me very well and I really do love him. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. There's only one catch though. I'm sexually bored. I never am in the mood with him anymore and I never feel like doing things or having sex. I feel bad because I love him to death and I know I should but I'm never in the mood. He took my virginity and for awhile after that I loved being "with" him. But now, it's different. Im not sure why I am like this. I really don't understand. I love him but I never want to have sex anymore or mess around. Why am I like this? And what can I do to get out of this funk?

Like adviceman said, this could be caused by your birth control. You should have a conversation with your OBGYN and consider switching to a non-hormonal form of birth control if this is seriously affecting your relationship.

If you're not on birth control you may have just grown bored and complacent in the relationship. Don't beat yourself up over it--it happens all the time. Right now you need to try to bring the spark back. The easiest way to do this is trying new things. This doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. Even trying a new restaurant while wearing sexy new perfume might be enough. The theory is new experiences get our adrenaline pumping and helps us become sexually interested in each other.

Spicing things up in the bedroom a little bit doesn't hurt either. Try to make your foreplay last a little longer, wear sexy lingerie, or convince your lover to give you a back massage to put you in the mood. Also, try having sex every day for a week with no exceptions. Doing it regularly might light that fire under you again.

If all else fails, consider if you can really be happy in a relationships where the sexual chemistry has gone away. If you can't get it back, it might be time to move on.


I'm a high school girl who likes a guy one year older than me. He's in my band class, but we've never actually talked and I think he likes me. I admit that he has a really attractive body and a cute face, but I don't think it's only a physical infatuation because I've kind of picked up his personality from Facebook (his comments, statuses, his friends' comments,etc.) and he's so nice and mature and funny. I know this sounds kind of stalker-ish...-_- I always feel nervous around him and keep try to find out more about him like searching up his name on the soccer team roster or watching soccer games of his favorite teams that he liked on FB (im a soccer player too) and um..other stalkerish things haha. So, is it possible that I love him? and is there any way I can get to know him without being really awkward? Thanks a lot!

It may not only be a "physical infatuation", but it's still an infatuation. You don't love him. Love is much more complex than taking an interest in someone's hobbies based on what you saw on the internet.

Unlike the other response, I don't think you're a creep for Facebook stalking him. Any teenage girl that claims she's never Facebook stalked her love crush is a big, fat liar. It's what Facebook was created for (remember that scene in The Social Network when some rando asks Zuckerberg is the girl he likes is single and Zuckerberg has his epiphany to include relationship statuses on his website?). That being said, you're never going to date this kid if you're stalking him from afar and not interacting in the real world. At the very least, send him a facebook message to get the ball rolling if you aren't comfortable with speaking to him in person.


I didn't pass my exam this morning at university and I'm so depressed.Even though I can sit for it again in two months,I feel like my chance was today and I missed it.Any piece of advice that helps me feel better?Why am I feeling so sad?I feel like doing just nothing,I'm just lying in my bed.

Failure is a big part of life. Every successful person can tell you that they failed multiple times in their life before reaching the place they are today. Anyone who has never failed in life has never tried.

Failure is not only inevitable, but it is important. We learn from experience in hopes that we won't repeat our mistakes in our future. What have you learned from this experience? Is there one area you could have focused on more while studying? Did you give yourself enough time to prepare for this test? Objectively examine what you did wrong so you can improve the next time you take the exam.

No one's going to blame you for lying in bed doing nothing. Give yourself an entire day to do just that, then get up and get your life together. Start studying again now and change your routine so you're getting 8 hours asleep every night, which will help you focus on the exam.


when I was 15 I noticed that my penis was below the average size it should be so I hoped it would grow as I got older now im 18 and its still the same size will that make women laugh or walk away when im about to have sex pr do something with them?

Real talk: if you're good with your hands and mouth no women will give a single damn about the size of your penis.


How do I get my ex bf talk to me again.
Pls help I will do anything to get him back

If he's your ex, you guys broke up for a reason. Count your losses and move on. Judging by your grammar, you aren't old enough to really be that concerned with a broken relationships. Listen to a bunch of Taylor Swift and find a new boy you're crazy about.


What are some free dating sites you guys recommend? I've tried Zoosk and Okcupid.. Anything else? Anything better??

Match.com and EHarmony aren't free. Try PlentyOfFish and HowAboutWe. Beware of POF--I've heard some of the users are looking for more casual relations. There's also this really cool Tumblr where you can review your dates if you live in NYC http://stateofdate.tumblr.com/


My school isn't very big, so it only offers 10 AP classes (I think). But anyway, for college admissions, how many is too many? Some kids take 5 or 6 classes and they end up being miserable. I want to have time to do other things in the areas I want to focus on (Science and Foreign Languages). Anyway, in my junior and senior years I can take 4 classes each (English, math, science, French). Is that too much? If it helps any, I'm planning on applying to several Ivy League schools. Thanks in advance!

The second answer is the correct answer: take AP classes that don't relate to your major. You want to exempt as many gen ed requirements as possible so you can get to work on your major as quickly as possible when you enter college. If you're applying to several Ivy League schools, I suggest you take as many APs as possible and sell your soul to Satan now, because I took 6 AP classes, scores of 4s and 5s on all of them, and still didn't get into the Ivy I applied to.

Also beware of what AP credits the colleges you're applying to will actually take. Some schools will only accept AP test scores of a 5, some will accept 3 and above. Similarly, some credits may not transfer over. I ran into this problem with my AP English Language and Composition class: all freshman at my school were required to take two writing courses anyway, so I couldn't use the credit I learned in AP English to exempt a class. Don't waste your time on classes where the credits won't transfer.


I've been on birth control for almost 2 whole months, I'm halfway through my period and my boyfriend and I had sex. He was about to ejaculate and the condom broke. Could I become pregnant?

Could you be pregnant? Yes. Is it likely that you're pregnant? No.


I am 18 and female and am never going to have sex, is that such a problem? I think sex is gross!
I also think losing my virginity will hurt really bad and I don't want to ever have sex

But I think that no guy is ever going to want to be with me once I tell them that I never want to have sex

Do you think that a guy will leave if I tell them I don't want to have sex?

Have you heard of asexuality? While this desire to never have sex might just be a phase, it's possible that you could identify as asexual. Asexuals can be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or pansexual just like anybody else, but they do not express love or desire in a physical way. For more information on the subject check out this website:


This specific part of the site gives a much better explanation on what asexuality is than what I provided:


It will definitely be difficult to find a man who respects your choice, but there are some out there. You might be more comfortable finding someone who, like you, does not feel any desire to have sex.


During foreplay when I go down on my man, I never know if you're suppose to blow him until he comes, or just stay down there for a couple minutes to get him warmed up before we start to have sex. I've gone down on him until he finished, but once he entered me, he was already tired and couldn't pump anymore which made me get nothing out of it. So my question is, what do the guys expect to receive when girls go down on them begore intercourse? Please help!

If you want to have sex afterwards, stop before he cums.

Matt said it more eloquently.


Well,Im 14 and me and my boyfriend have already spoke about how we feel for eachother and how we want to spend our lives together,i know many say your too young to be thinking about it let alone discussing it,But we really love eachother and he said if we last a few more weeks he will propose to me. Honestly i don't know what to do,i mean i love him alot and weve been together for a while now but im not to sure how to react.i dont know wether to say yes so we have a long time to talk about our future or say no and deal with it when were a btit older.Any ideas?

It really does not matter whether you say yes or no because you aren't going to marry him anyway.


I was with this guy and both of us were really horny so one thing led to another and he started to finger me. It felt good and I was moaning but I didn't cum. Why?

Though the user below me suggested stress might be the problem, the problem may not be you at all. He might not have just been doing the right thing to get you off. Not everybody likes the same thing sexually. You might be more likely to cum from clitoris stimulation rather than g-sport stimulation or vice versa. Have your guy try different things and eventually you will find what works best for you. Masturbating might also help you figure this out quicker.


It's my boyfriends 21st birthday next week. I want to buy him something really good since it's his big 21st but I have no idea what to get. We have only been dating about 2 months which sort of makes it hard as well and he doesn't talk to his mum and doesnt know his dad so I feel a bit like the pressure is all on me. Help please!!!

Since it's his 21st something alcohol related might be appropriate if you live in the States. Maybe a really nice bottle of alcohol, like aged scotch? Or what about a flask with his name engraved in it?

If he's not the drinking type, get him a watch. You could also get his name engraved in that. I would suggest Fossil because I work there (COMPANY PRIDE!).

Does he like gadgets? A Kindle or an iPad would be a great gift, though be ware, iPads are still fairly expensive.

If he likes to shop, buy him a gift cards to a great shoe store. A lot of guys love shoes more than women would expect.

Since you've only been dating two months, I wouldn't do anything too over the top (like an iPad might be).


20/f Recently, my boyfriend has told me he wants to focus on our future more, and that he wants to be more interested in the things I'm into. He emphasizes that it makes him happy just to see me happy. He has never been so vocal about it, and claims he is more mature because he has stopped masturbating so that he can wait for me to please him. He feels as though he is more mature, and that he is more attentive because I control when we have sex, pleasure, etc. When he said this I was very shocked, in a way insulted. I need opinions,I don't know how to feel..

If your boyfriend thinks that because he is no longer masturbating he's suddenly mature, he really has no idea what maturity is.

Why does this explanation for his new-found "maturity" offend you? It's strange, yes, but I'm not sure why you find it insulting.

This weird masturbation-based maturity situation aside, do you see yourself having a future with this person? Do you think he's really mature? These are questions you need to think about before continuing with this relationship. If you want different things out of your relationship, it probably isn't built to last.


I was having a purely sexual relationship with a young guy who had just come out of a five year relationship (he ended it). He slept over practically every night since the first time we hooked up for about a month. He cried in front of me, he held me all night, the only thing he refused to do is go out. We seemed happy in our time one on one though. This made me fall in love with him but he only wanted friends with benefits. So he stopped pursuing me the moment I said I love you and we had some drama but then we reunited on Monday night - went out and had a casual night by the lake. It also happens to be the same day he saw his ex for the first time since their phone breakup and he ended it in person and had the talk with her. When he walked me home that night I'd never felt so close to him. He also requested we take a picture together and I sent it to him on his phone. When he walked me home he said he didn't just want to walk me home he wanted to stay over and we had an incredible night. We had sex twice more in the morning on Tuesday before I left for work. I didn't get a text or a phone call until Friday! He texted "what's up?" at 1:30 in the morning. I didn't get it until Saturday morning because I was asleep. Told him I was going to yoga and to have a good day. Now it's Sunday (and a long weekend so we both have Monday off) and I haven't heard from him at all. I'm afraid we're in a no contact zone. What happened???

Sometimes after having sex men pull back to see how you will react. Do you freak out? Or do you remain calm? Don't give into his little game. Don't be clingy by sending him 1,000 text messages. Show him your time is valuable and you will not give a second thought to someone who doesn't want to give you the time of day.

Now are you making it clear you want a relationship and not just a friends with benefits situation? If not, then you can't really blame him for not acting like he wants to date you. I don't mean to tell you that you should straight up tell him you want a relationship NOW; judging by the situation you have going on now, that would probably seem a little out of left field. You can tell him, however, that you have developed some feelings and want to see where they may lead. You need to show him you're interested in becoming serious. Spend time together during the day, instead of waiting until 10 PM to hang out, when you know that will only lead until sex. When you have conversations are they purely about sex or have you made an effort to get to know him as an individual? If you really don't know much about him outside your sexual agreement, can you really be sure you can maintain a relationship with him? Try casually dating him as you would any partner before you attempt a relationship.

If he just doesn't see you as someone he would date (which there's a great possibility of, considering he just got out of a relationship), abandon ship immediately. If you have feelings for him, continuing the friends with benefits agreement will only lead to heartbreak.


I am seventeen years old and most of friends ad adults from church. I prefer adults over kids my age, I don't know why, but I do. I view most kids my age as associates. Anyway I invited. My adult friend, Kim , to my house for memorial day with my parents ' permission. But my mom keeps nagging me that I should be friends with other kids my age, but I do not want that. I feel so frustrated and bitter. What can I do? Who is right in this situation?

Your parents probably want you to hang out with people your own age because you have similar levels of life experience and probably similar levels of maturity. You may feels you are mature beyond your years, but your lack of life experience might give you different views and perspectives than someone who is already grown. See if you can compromise with your parents and find one friend who is your age or maybe find some friends who are only a few years older than you- like 19 or 20.


my cousin is 10/f
she has 2 flippin' bfs!!!
i told her that she is to young to date and that she should break up with at least ONE bf. but she said she and her friend are sharing both of them and that she loves them both!
i dont know what to even say to her now,she young and she thinks that if i have a bf,am 14 btw, than it is ok to for her to have one.but she is very competitive! so now she has two!!!

any advise will be very greatful as soon as you can!

In reality, it doesn't matter. She's ten. These aren't serious relationships. It's probably nothing more than childhood nonsense and holding hands on the playground. By the time she's your age, she'll know you can't have two boyfriends and all of that. Let her have her fun, and worry about your own relationships, which frankly probably aren't mature either.


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