Brilliant advice from a trusted online columnist:

On teenage love.
Can you be in love with someone after only dating them for a short amount of time? Yes I'm a stupid teenage girl who believes in love, sue me.

Sue you for what? Bubble gum and a sense of entitlement?

Shit sweetie, I'm a bitch, but I'm not so nasty a shrew as to slap away the cartoon song birds that are fluttering around your candy filled head.

Enjoy the rush. Have a blast. Savor every minute of the experience. Really, I mean it. Young love is the greatest drug on the planet. Just remember, I'll be here after the holidays when break-up season hits.


So there you have it, Advicentors. You can all stop crushing the dreams of little girls now.

Anyway, I am a smug "adult" that thinks I know everything (except if this statement is grammatically correct). Spoiler alert: I don't. Enter at your own risk.

trisspoke (7:31:17 PM): make me your forum link!


I've been on birth control for almost 2 whole months, I'm halfway through my period and my boyfriend and I had sex. He was about to ejaculate and the condom broke. Could I become pregnant?

Could you be pregnant? Yes. Is it likely that you're pregnant? No.


I am 18 and female and am never going to have sex, is that such a problem? I think sex is gross!
I also think losing my virginity will hurt really bad and I don't want to ever have sex

But I think that no guy is ever going to want to be with me once I tell them that I never want to have sex

Do you think that a guy will leave if I tell them I don't want to have sex?

Have you heard of asexuality? While this desire to never have sex might just be a phase, it's possible that you could identify as asexual. Asexuals can be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or pansexual just like anybody else, but they do not express love or desire in a physical way. For more information on the subject check out this website:


This specific part of the site gives a much better explanation on what asexuality is than what I provided:


It will definitely be difficult to find a man who respects your choice, but there are some out there. You might be more comfortable finding someone who, like you, does not feel any desire to have sex.


During foreplay when I go down on my man, I never know if you're suppose to blow him until he comes, or just stay down there for a couple minutes to get him warmed up before we start to have sex. I've gone down on him until he finished, but once he entered me, he was already tired and couldn't pump anymore which made me get nothing out of it. So my question is, what do the guys expect to receive when girls go down on them begore intercourse? Please help!

If you want to have sex afterwards, stop before he cums.

Matt said it more eloquently.


Well,Im 14 and me and my boyfriend have already spoke about how we feel for eachother and how we want to spend our lives together,i know many say your too young to be thinking about it let alone discussing it,But we really love eachother and he said if we last a few more weeks he will propose to me. Honestly i don't know what to do,i mean i love him alot and weve been together for a while now but im not to sure how to react.i dont know wether to say yes so we have a long time to talk about our future or say no and deal with it when were a btit older.Any ideas?

It really does not matter whether you say yes or no because you aren't going to marry him anyway.


I was with this guy and both of us were really horny so one thing led to another and he started to finger me. It felt good and I was moaning but I didn't cum. Why?

Though the user below me suggested stress might be the problem, the problem may not be you at all. He might not have just been doing the right thing to get you off. Not everybody likes the same thing sexually. You might be more likely to cum from clitoris stimulation rather than g-sport stimulation or vice versa. Have your guy try different things and eventually you will find what works best for you. Masturbating might also help you figure this out quicker.


It's my boyfriends 21st birthday next week. I want to buy him something really good since it's his big 21st but I have no idea what to get. We have only been dating about 2 months which sort of makes it hard as well and he doesn't talk to his mum and doesnt know his dad so I feel a bit like the pressure is all on me. Help please!!!

Since it's his 21st something alcohol related might be appropriate if you live in the States. Maybe a really nice bottle of alcohol, like aged scotch? Or what about a flask with his name engraved in it?

If he's not the drinking type, get him a watch. You could also get his name engraved in that. I would suggest Fossil because I work there (COMPANY PRIDE!).

Does he like gadgets? A Kindle or an iPad would be a great gift, though be ware, iPads are still fairly expensive.

If he likes to shop, buy him a gift cards to a great shoe store. A lot of guys love shoes more than women would expect.

Since you've only been dating two months, I wouldn't do anything too over the top (like an iPad might be).


20/f Recently, my boyfriend has told me he wants to focus on our future more, and that he wants to be more interested in the things I'm into. He emphasizes that it makes him happy just to see me happy. He has never been so vocal about it, and claims he is more mature because he has stopped masturbating so that he can wait for me to please him. He feels as though he is more mature, and that he is more attentive because I control when we have sex, pleasure, etc. When he said this I was very shocked, in a way insulted. I need opinions,I don't know how to feel..

If your boyfriend thinks that because he is no longer masturbating he's suddenly mature, he really has no idea what maturity is.

Why does this explanation for his new-found "maturity" offend you? It's strange, yes, but I'm not sure why you find it insulting.

This weird masturbation-based maturity situation aside, do you see yourself having a future with this person? Do you think he's really mature? These are questions you need to think about before continuing with this relationship. If you want different things out of your relationship, it probably isn't built to last.


I was having a purely sexual relationship with a young guy who had just come out of a five year relationship (he ended it). He slept over practically every night since the first time we hooked up for about a month. He cried in front of me, he held me all night, the only thing he refused to do is go out. We seemed happy in our time one on one though. This made me fall in love with him but he only wanted friends with benefits. So he stopped pursuing me the moment I said I love you and we had some drama but then we reunited on Monday night - went out and had a casual night by the lake. It also happens to be the same day he saw his ex for the first time since their phone breakup and he ended it in person and had the talk with her. When he walked me home that night I'd never felt so close to him. He also requested we take a picture together and I sent it to him on his phone. When he walked me home he said he didn't just want to walk me home he wanted to stay over and we had an incredible night. We had sex twice more in the morning on Tuesday before I left for work. I didn't get a text or a phone call until Friday! He texted "what's up?" at 1:30 in the morning. I didn't get it until Saturday morning because I was asleep. Told him I was going to yoga and to have a good day. Now it's Sunday (and a long weekend so we both have Monday off) and I haven't heard from him at all. I'm afraid we're in a no contact zone. What happened???

Sometimes after having sex men pull back to see how you will react. Do you freak out? Or do you remain calm? Don't give into his little game. Don't be clingy by sending him 1,000 text messages. Show him your time is valuable and you will not give a second thought to someone who doesn't want to give you the time of day.

Now are you making it clear you want a relationship and not just a friends with benefits situation? If not, then you can't really blame him for not acting like he wants to date you. I don't mean to tell you that you should straight up tell him you want a relationship NOW; judging by the situation you have going on now, that would probably seem a little out of left field. You can tell him, however, that you have developed some feelings and want to see where they may lead. You need to show him you're interested in becoming serious. Spend time together during the day, instead of waiting until 10 PM to hang out, when you know that will only lead until sex. When you have conversations are they purely about sex or have you made an effort to get to know him as an individual? If you really don't know much about him outside your sexual agreement, can you really be sure you can maintain a relationship with him? Try casually dating him as you would any partner before you attempt a relationship.

If he just doesn't see you as someone he would date (which there's a great possibility of, considering he just got out of a relationship), abandon ship immediately. If you have feelings for him, continuing the friends with benefits agreement will only lead to heartbreak.


I am seventeen years old and most of friends ad adults from church. I prefer adults over kids my age, I don't know why, but I do. I view most kids my age as associates. Anyway I invited. My adult friend, Kim , to my house for memorial day with my parents ' permission. But my mom keeps nagging me that I should be friends with other kids my age, but I do not want that. I feel so frustrated and bitter. What can I do? Who is right in this situation?

Your parents probably want you to hang out with people your own age because you have similar levels of life experience and probably similar levels of maturity. You may feels you are mature beyond your years, but your lack of life experience might give you different views and perspectives than someone who is already grown. See if you can compromise with your parents and find one friend who is your age or maybe find some friends who are only a few years older than you- like 19 or 20.


my cousin is 10/f
she has 2 flippin' bfs!!!
i told her that she is to young to date and that she should break up with at least ONE bf. but she said she and her friend are sharing both of them and that she loves them both!
i dont know what to even say to her now,she young and she thinks that if i have a bf,am 14 btw, than it is ok to for her to have one.but she is very competitive! so now she has two!!!

any advise will be very greatful as soon as you can!

In reality, it doesn't matter. She's ten. These aren't serious relationships. It's probably nothing more than childhood nonsense and holding hands on the playground. By the time she's your age, she'll know you can't have two boyfriends and all of that. Let her have her fun, and worry about your own relationships, which frankly probably aren't mature either.


I am seventeen and a girl. I live with my mom, stepdad, and brother and sister. I have a boyfriend of ten months who is absolutely perfect. We decided last night to make a very big decision to have protected sex. Little did I know my stepdad installed cameras into the entire house. He did not tell my mom he found out but he has labeled me as a slut and that it's his decision to decide if I am ready to have sex or not. I am upset that all of this happened but I honestly don't care. Even if I did want to tell them, I wouldn't. My parents never praise me for being honest and I am too scared to talk to them about anything anyway. I'm thinking my stepdad used the camera tactic to scare me into telling him but the same time he said I should be honest because he has the tapes to back it up. I am going about my day very calmly because I know I was ready and responsible. I am not a slut or a hoe or anything because I was responsible and I will make my own decisions. I just find it so stupid how they disown me and ignore me. I bust my ass for them honestly. I watch my baby brother everyday on top of schoolwork and chores. I make good grades. I'm not a bad kid and I am entitled to my own decisions. If I screw up, it's my fault...but I was so responsible and careful... So what does it matter? What do you think about all this?

Because you are underage and your stepdad has a video tape of you engaging in sexual activity, he has technically made child porn. Even if you were of age, videotaping anyone in a sexual scenario without their consent is illegal, as was the case in the Rutgers scandal where one boy video taped another engaging in homosexual sex. I don't mean to suggest that you should blackmail your stepfather, but you should make it clear to him that you know what he did was wrong and illegal.

Honestly though, there's nothing he can really do about you having sex. You were mature and responsible by using protection, and I applaud you for that. In the future, try to primarily have sex at your boyfriend's home.


I've been to 2 malls today and they had nothing but short & black dresses to go clubbing in. I can't get anything offline cause it'll be too late. I've been to macy's, dillards & every store looking for a black dress but nobody has one for a graduation. Do you know where I can get one that's not online but in a store?

Forever21 or H&M would probably have something cheap you could try. They definitely do have a lot of clubbing dresses, but since they also try to cater to other styles they might have something black and lacy that would be graduation appropriate. You could also give JCrew a shot! (Shameless JCrew salesperson, here :) )


So i was in science class then my friends(all girls) and i started talking about our private area, and all began wondering of you shave or whatever down there.. So the question is: Do girls shave down there???

Unlike the advice-giver below me, I think it's completely acceptable to ask questions like this on advicenators. We don't know your home situation, and we really do not know whether you have a female role model you can speak to like this.

Some women choose to shave their pubic hair and others do not. It's a personal preference. Some women also choose to wax their pubic hair because it leaves a cleaner appearance than shaving does. Most women in my demographic (18-24) that I know do groom their pubic region. It sounds like you are young, however, so you may not find it necessary.


Ok so from november-march I dated this guy. He was and still is super nice and cute and hilarious and did the cutest things like when I was cold outside he gave me his jacket and he said the cutest things to me like "I love you bbg, I want you to be the only one for me. I never want to loose you because if I loose you I loose a part of me. I will love you forever and no one in the world can replace you. You'll be mine forever and I know it

In this situation I think it's best that you tell the guy you have feelings from him and that you're willing to prove to him he can trust you again. You'll have to start from the beginning of a relationship and build the trust back up. I can't be sure if he still likes you, but it's worth a shot.


Hello All.

Me and 4 friends used to do this thing for each of out 18th birthdays. We would each put in £40-50 and get the a large gift for whoever birthday it was. got a silver bracelet, a friend got a pure gold + diamond earring, another friend got an iPod touch, and the other got a silver and diamond chain.

When it came time to the 5th friends 18th birthday, I asked, "what do you want? Because we're unsure of what to get you. It has to come up to £200". They then said to me "I don't want anything big. I'd prefer a lot of smaller things, rather than one big thing that i'll probably never use'.

So we settled on it. Everyone was left to their own devices. I got a box, and filled it with personal junk, i.e. a birthday essay, a CD with our favorite songs, a photo album, etc etc.

We all decided that we would only do this for 18th and 21st birthday presents. We didn't want to create a prescient for every year, as it would become expensive, and really lose it's significance.

Yesterday, I was asked by another friend if I want to put in for an iPod touch, for the friend who told me that they didn't want anything big. 2 years after their 18th birthday! They will be 20 this year. The problem is, I don't really speak to her anymore. Our friendship got rocky in the past few months, and we just couldn't stand each other. So we haven't spoken in a while. And I got her a gift!

So should I put in? I have the money, but it's really about the principle. Not only do I not talk to her, but I got her a gift when she was 18. My friend who asked if I wanted to put in's argument was "She put in for ours, so we should get something for her". But like I said, I got her a gift. If they feel that they *should* put in, they should. But I don't particularly want to even speak to her, let alone put in.

So should I, from a moral perspective? I sort of feel like a bad person if I don't. And if I should not, how do I tell them I will not be putting in. I was just going to say no, but what I have in my head sounds rather "bitchy", for lack of a better word.

Apologies for the question for being so long: I'm terrible at explaining things! -_*

Thank you for reading. I'll be even more thankful if you would answer! :)

I wouldn't put in money. If you agreed to only do this for 18th and 21st birthdays, and she passed up the offer for her 18th, this isn't really your responsibility. Furthermore, you shouldn't spend your money on someone you had a falling out with. I'm sure she would understand, as she probably wouldn't want to spend money on you either.


all my freinds have started i just want to fit in i am 11 but i dont have a feeling i will get it till around 20 i dont know when my mom started dont say like 'ur lucky!' or 'ull regret saying that!' coz i dont give a flying boot so is there any way to make it start!? I WILL TRY ANYTHING!

All your 11 year old friends are liars trying to seem mature. Maybe a few of them have started, but certainly not all. Unfortunately, there's no way to make it start. If you aren't comfortable asking your mom when she started hers, ask another female family to gauge when you might start yours.

I won't say "ur lucky," but I will say when you wake up in a pool of your own blood you'll long for menopause.


Hello, so about a year ago on my 19 birthday my sister took me out to eat at a restaurant that her boyfriend works at. so i notice theres a guy that works there that kept looking at me and smiled at me everytime he passed by my table and he would look at me from far away. later on i learned that the guy is the manager of the restuarant and he was asking about me and my sisters boyfriend told me that he looked excited. then months later i go back to that restuarant with my sister and her boyfriend introduces me to all his coworkers except for that one guy. oh yeah this guy is like 28 years old. he is HOT. but yeah he made it obvious that he wanted to be introduced to me but my sisters boyfriend didn't on purpose. so i add him on facebook and he mentions it to my sisters boyfriend and he told me that the guy didn't looked freaked out but kinda happy about it. so now im wondering if i should start a conversation with him, he has commented on my facebook statuses. one said "you know you want to" and he comments "i really do". what should i do? i plan on going back to the restaurant again soon. should i send him a message or talk to him in person first?

I'd talk to him in person first. I also find it really weird when people Facebook message me if I don't really know him. He seems interested, but just play it say by speaking to him face to face first.

Of course, be cautious about his age and experience. It will be easy for a 28 year old man to take advantage of a 19 year old girl. I mean this both sexually and emotionally. Even if you are sexually experienced, your emotions can get tied up in a new way you might not be ready for.

That being said, you're young. Make mistakes before you're paying a mortgage.


So I noticed this girl in my class that was pretty cute but I didn't talk to her at all for about 2 months. but as the semester went by I really didnt talk to to her until one day as I was heading to class she noticed me and asked me if I i was in her class and as we walked to class i made her laugh a couple of times than the next week i sat next to her and we talked more for the next couple of weeks I couldnt stop thinking about her and I couldnt wait to see her in class. I asked her if she wanted to exchange numbers and she gave it to me without hesitation but what was bizarre is that she only got my number i asked if she wanted mine but she said just text me and say its you. So I texted her and she texted right back and we talked but one day i asked her out to lunch she said that she couldn't because she had work so than a week later i asked her out to lunch and she said she couldn't because she had a final that day and would be out of town next week but she will let me know when shes back. So i text her again a week later asking her if she wanted to go out to lunch and go the movies after but she didnt text me back and its been more than a week so I dont know if i should wait for her to text me back or should I call or text her? Everytime i saw her in the campus she would smile and would be very happy to see me and one day i saw her going to her car and some dude was talking to her and when she saw me she completely ignored the guy talking to her and she smiled at me and said hey my friend who was with me that day whose good with relationships told me that he can tell that she likes me so i just wanted to add that and I want to text her but she said that she would let me know when shes back and she has the iphone 4 so when i texted her it was through imessage and said the text was delivered so she probably saw it. I texted her a couple of days ago and again she didnt text back the imessage was off though. but if anyone can help me that would be awesome!

Unless she specifically told you friend she likes you, it seems unlikely that she does. Girls usually don't like to text first, but if she was interested she would have accepted your offer for lunch or made a real effort to reschedule. Move on.


i want to what r weeds ? what do they do ? how is it harmful to our body ? is it illegal to use ?

I believe you are referring to marijuana, a recreational drug. It is generally smoked and sometimes ingested. It isn't physically addictive, despite what the user below me said. Some research suggests that smoking weed might increase risk of schizophrenia if an individual has a predisposition to it. Otherwise, it just makes a user lazy. The legality depends on the country. It appears that the use of weed in India is regulated by the government.


My boyfriend wants me to have sex with him tomorrow but I don't know:-/!! he is 3years older than me and I love him soo very much but I don't know what to say to him,help please?!

If you are unsure, say no. If he has a problem with it, dump him.


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