The_MoUsY_spell_checker's Advice Column

Well, this is embarrassing. I was messing around and accidentally made myself a favorite. How do I delete my name off of my favorites list?

Click the "Favorite Columnists" link on the left. It should take you to a page with a list of your favourites, and there should be a "delete" link next to each of them.
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I'm bigender and recently started binding, but realized that after i removed the binder (after roughly 8 hours of wearing it) my breasts were a little bit sore for the rest of the day. Is this normal? (It was my first time binding with a proper binder) Maybe i ordered a size too small? (Although i'm 99% sure i measured correctly and did as the website i ordered from told me to) I'm using a gc2b XS binder

First of all, while many guidelines cite "no more than 8 hours", 8 hours is too long in many cases. If it's your first time binding, start with an hour or two. (Yes, easier said than done. I hope there are days of the week when you can stay at home all day.)

Even then, if your breasts are sore for the rest of the day, that's a sign that the binder is too small.

You probably already know this, but gc2b will exchange for size if you contact them within a week of receiving your order, so if you think yours is too small, exchange it for the next size up.

It doesn't matter what the size guide says. If you put the binder on and it's really uncomfortable, it's not the right size.

In my experience, going by their size guide gives a size that is too small. When I received mine, I struggled to get it on. It was actually quite comfortable once I got it on, but when I took it off, it left marks on my skin, so I sent mine back. I'm currently waiting for the replacement ones.
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So long story short a while ago I bought a replica gold Pandora bracelet from somebody online after my real one was stolen, to replace the feeling of having one without spending another $1200. It's high quality and looks almost the same as the real one. It even says Pandora on it.

So basically I have a replica gold Pandora bracelet and I also have an authentic silver Pandora bracelet that I was gifted by my fiance.

She's wanting to give me ANOTHER gold (replica) Pandora bracelet in trade for my Fendi wallet.

In the past I worked for Pandora and I got a discount to buy my fiance's mother a silver Pandora bracelet (and also my old real gold Pandora bracelet that was stolen) but my mother doesn't have one. I've asked my mom before if she wanted one and she said no but I felt like she was just saying that because they're expensive and she didn't want to seem jealous or petty.

The silver authentic Pandora bracelet is $65 which isn't too bad if you have extra money and why I could afford the one for my fiance's mother. The gold authentic Pandora bracelets start at $1200 so you can see the obvious price difference.

The fake one is $50 and like I said it looks almost exactly the same as the real one except for one minor difference that I only notice because I worked for Pandora.

I really want her to have one because I want her to feel like she has something nice and glamorous and I want to be able to buy her charms in the future for it. What I don't want to happen is for her to bring it to a store and have somebody with a very good eye notice that it looks a tiny bit different on the inside of the clasp and ask her if it's fake but I really don't think anybody will because it's VERY SMALL difference.

I also don't want her to look online for charms though and wind up finding out the real ones are $1200 and heckle me about where I got the money to buy her one...though I figure I could just tell her I got a really good deal at a estate sale or something.

Should I give it to her or should I just keep it for myself?

If you're going to give your mom a replica, I think you should just tell her upfront that it's not the real thing. Definitely don't make up stories about getting a really good deal.

There's no shame in giving a cheap present if that's all you can afford, but presents are about the relationship between you and the recipient, and a genuine relationship shouldn't be about deceiving each other.

Another consideration is that if your mom said no, is it because she doesn't like to wear bracelets? Also think about her style in general. Maybe gold doesn't match her clothes? You might be better off saving up to buy her something else that she'll actually wear.
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My husband and I's one year anniversary is coming up in a few months, and so is a very close friend's wedding, her wedding date: our one year anniversary. I'm at a loss of what to do. My husband wouldn't be able to come with me to her wedding, and my friend would be extremely hurt if I didn't go. What makes the situation awkward is I knew when picking my wedding date that my friend would be getting married that same day. I had no choice however (my husband is military). I reassured and promised her since she got engaged that I would be there at her wedding. In fact, as soon as I got the wedding invite, I texted her and let her know I would be there and how excited I was. My husband always knew I'd be going, but I guess it just clicked for him I'd be missing or first anniversary. He's very upset, anniversaries are very important to him. I tried reasoning with him that we could celebrate another day, but he's not having it. What do I do? I will always pick my husband over anything, but shouldn't he be more understanding? Should I be present for the most important day of my close friend's life and hurt my husband? Or be there with my husband for our one year anniversary and risk losing my friend? (And I have very few true good friends)

Yes, I think your husband should be more understanding.

You will have many more anniversaries to come, while your friend's wedding will be once in a lifetime.

As such, if you can't somehow fit an anniversary celebration into the day and still make it to the wedding, I would recommend going to the friend's wedding.

Start planning the not-actually-your-anniversary celebration, and make it special to make it up to your husband.
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I'm a 14 year old girl and I have terrible social anxiety. For example, last week a store clerk tried to make small talk with me while I was checking something out and my face went red and I just kinda laughed at his friendly little jokes I a way that sounded more like wheezing and after paying I almost ran out of there without my change and he probably thought that I was mental! I can't give presentations in class or anything and to top it all off I start at a new school tomorrow so I'll have to make new friends (not like I've ever had more than one or two friends but I tend not to talk to my friends anyway). The thing is, I'm a good actor and a decent signer so I want to joi the drama club at my new school but I almost have a panic attack just thinking about talking to people and getting g on a stage in front of them. How do I help myself?

From the way that you are describing it, it is worthwhile seeing a counsellor to work through any possible underlying causes. (Is there one at your school?)

Counselling aside, ultimately, you will need to practice to get better.

Start somewhere safe. Talk more to any friends that you do have. Practice with family members.

Also look for social anxiety support groups, either in-person or online.

For example, this website has an online forum and a list of in-person and telephone-based groups for various countries: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com

An online group can be a good place to get to know people through text-based communication for getting comfortable with the idea of talking to people. When you get to know someone better, ask to talk on Skype for practice.

When I was your age, I used to struggle with talking to people too. I eventually made some friends online when I was in high school, and that's what gave me the confidence to open up in person too.

When it comes to store clerks, remember that you're the one in power because it's part of their job to be polite to you.
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I'm 13 years old and iv'e lived in India my whole life. Many people tell me I have an american accent but I don't think I do. Everyone in my family speaks English but i'm starting to feel self conscious about my accent

An accent is the characteristic of the way you pronounce words. As such, everybody has one.

Unless other people cannot understand what you are saying, there is no reason to attempt to change your accent.

Language acquisition studies show that people's accents in their native language is primarily influenced by their peers. As such, if you are a native speaker of English, it is normal if you don't sound like your family members, especially if you spend a lot of time with friends with American accents. So, if it's your family members who are telling you that you have an American accent, maybe they're just noticing that you really don't sound like them.

Alternatively, if you have learnt English as a second language, it may be that you learnt it from someone with an American accent. In that case, it would mean that you have learnt it well.

Also, do you watch American TV shows? In some English-speaking countries outside of America, it is fairly common for adults to criticise young people for having an Americanised accent from watching too much TV.
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I'm a 14 year old girl and I moved a few months ago. I've always been such a good girl. A quiet, rule following, sweet, helpful teacher's pet. Exactly what every mother wants out of her little girl. And that's how my reputation is at school is too, the nice girl, the smart girl, the goody two shoes. I'm described as "cute" or "adorable" never "pretty" or "hot". I once accidently dropped a weight on my foot in gym and I let the f word slip by accident and everyone turned and gasped. If it had been anyone else no one would've cared, but I was a good girl so it was a big thing. I hurt someone's feelings on accident once and I cried and apologized to her whole family because I felt so bad. But ever since I've moved, I've cared less. I feel like I don't want my squeaky clean image anymore. I want to be cool. And that's exactly what's happening: I'm getting snafu and sarcastic and distancing myself from my friends because I don't care anymore. But I don't really want this, I don't know what I want. I feel so conflicted. What do I do?????

You know what? The kind of people who think it's uncool to be a "goody two shoes" can tell if you're deliberately putting on a "rebellious" image trying to be cool. It doesn't work.

To be "pretty" rather than "cute", a change in style might help. For example, a subtle change in how you wear your hair can make a big difference.

Acknowledge your feelings, but also learn when and how you can express them. It may be natural for you to be sarcastic, and there are a lot of times when it is fine to express yourself that way. Your school years are the time to learn when it is or isn't acceptable.

If you are distancing yourself from your friends, it might just be that you are growing apart. Look for new things to do together to make things more interesting. It would also be a good time to look for new friends.
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How do I factory reset my iPod touch using only the home and power buttons? Ive totally forgotten how and now I can't find it on the internet anywhere and it's making me mad. I need to do it that way because 1. My digitizer doesn't work in some places so there are buttons i cant tap, such as the "reset" button in the settings. 2. There are things I don't want to sync with my iTunes on the computer, because, well... Just not things other people need to find on the computer. Someone help please? Thanks!

From page 136 of the following document:

http://manuals.info.apple.com/MANUALS/1000/MA1596/en_US/ipod_touch_user_guide.pdf

"Hold down the Sleep/Wake button and the Home button at the same time for
at least ten seconds, until the Apple logo appears.
You can reset the word dictionary, network settings, home screen layout, and location warnings.
You can also erase all of your content and settings."
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Okay so i figured out my sexuality but i dont think there’s a name for it
For girls, same as always, sexually and romantically attracted always
But with guys, never sexually attracted, but only romantically attracted if i share a close bond with them (like demiromantic but only with guys)
Does anybody know what this could possibly be?
(14f btw)

First of all, you're not going to be able to express all that in just one word.

If you're both sexually and romantically attracted to girls, it would make sense for you to say you're a lesbian.

It's not contradictory to say that you're also demiheteroromantic, or maybe biromantic.

Keep in mind that outside of LGBTQ+ communities (or even within), a lot of people don't know about romantic orientations, so these words might not even help you if you're trying to tell someone else how you identify.
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"Not having a crush is boring and having a crush is more exciting (whether it causes something good or bad)"

I don't think it is true. Having a crush can be exciting, but there are plenty of other things that a person can be excited about.

More importantly, regardless of whether it is more exciting or not, I don't think having a crush or not having one is something you choose to do. You can't make yourself have a crush on someone just because "not having a crush is boring". As such, it is a moot point anyway.
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I'm honestly not even sure where to start, im probably overthinking things but i dont know. I'm biologically a female (oh and 14) and for the majority of my life up until a few months ago ive been comfortable with that, from what i remember. But recently ive been having times where i'll look at myself and feel like a boy, and like the illusion of being a boy, and feel kind of pleased when people mistake me for a boy. Sometimes I'll even try to lower my voice a little bit so that strangers might see me as a boy. But another part of me is thinking that i'm overreacting, and im only thinking this because 1. i just got my hair cut short into a boy cut and 2. my best friend just came out to me as an ftm male. I know about genderfluid and all those genders but do you think i could be questioning for REAL, or am i just overthinking things?

First of all, only you can determine what your gender identity is, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

The self-discovery process can take time. Some transgender people knew from a young age (I did), but while that is the most well-known narrative, it is by no means universal. By the time your friend came out to you, he might have been thinking about the issue for years.

It is OK to be unsure, just as it is to take a break from thinking about it if you feel overwhelmed. There is no need to rush into making a decision. Take your time.

Perhaps a clearer sign of knowing whether you are transgender is to consider whether you are uncomfortable with the idea of yourself being female. Are you a boy in your dreams? When you imagine your future, do you see yourself as a man? These are some questions to consider. (It is OK to not have an answer too. These are just a starting point.)

It is possible to "like the illusion of being a boy" even if you don't identify as one. It may well be fun to be "mistaken" for a boy once in a while, but can you live with it for the rest of your life?

The length of your hair has nothing to do with your gender identity, nor does the way you dress for that matter. This Venn diagram comes to mind: http://hellyeahscarleteen.tumblr.com/post/51495035905/this-venn-diagram-shows-the-relationships-between

(I'm FTM, and I have long hair. Despite the long hair, I often passed as male even before taking testosterone.)
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ok guys i am going to be 22 in some days and i am doing aikido but i want to do one more martial art, near my home there is a school that does kick boxing bjj karate and judo, i can do thai boxing 2 but i need to get there by car and it would mostly take 10-15 mins and i might lose lessons , but at the other school i can go whenever i want i need like 5 mins i am from cyprus btw

Most importantly, which one are you the most interested in learning, and why?

If Thai boxing is what you really want to do, you'll just have to decide whether the extra travel is worth it. (If you were really keen on it, I don't think you would have asked this question.)

If you don't have any preference at all, consider how similar or different these martial arts are to aikido. Do some research about each of them.

For example, judo and BJJ both involve throwing the opponent, as is aikido, and as such, either of these two may complement your existing skills well.

On the other hand, if you're interested in trying something more different, karate or kick boxing might be more suitable.
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My GF and I moved into a new condo about a year ago. We are both from the suburbs and our current place is downtown. We love it. Instead of walking everywhere, we can sit on a bus to go wherever we need to go. Instead of grocery shopping, there is an all-you-can-eat buffet downstairs. Both of us come from vegan families, with hobbies like running and biking.

But since our move away, we have both ditched those lifestyles to live at large for a while. Without all the constant pressure from our families, we have been enjoying ourselves.

No more uncomfortable clothes. Its now sweats and slippers for both of us, even in public. Now we only get off the sofa to go downstairs for the buffet. Neither of us have done anything fitness related for about a year now. We've each put on about 50 lbs. But we enjoy sitting on our (now large) butts with our feet up. Only problem is both of our parents are coming to visit next week and they havent seen us since the day we moved in! We're out of breathe walking down the hall and we werent even allowed to own slippers and sweatpants when we lived at our family homes. What should we expect? Im worried about them even recognizing our faces because of our chubby cheeks and double chins :(

First of all, don\'t worry about your parents not recognising you. They\'re your parents. They will know it\'s you.

Yes, they will most likely disapprove of your current lifestyle. You\'re an adult now, so take the criticism like one. Admit that you\'re lazy, but also remind them that it\'s your responsibility to decide how you live, not theirs.

You won\'t be able to lose much weight before they arrive, but this is a good time to start changing your lifestyle to be healthier.

You don\'t have to go running and biking if you don\'t like those activities. Just work in a bit more physical activity so that you\'re not out of breath just walking down the hall.

While physical activity will help with both developing cardiovascular fitness and losing weight, these two things can happen separately. Once you gain weight, it is generally difficult to lose it, but you can still become fitter even if you don\'t lose weight.

Are there any other food outlets nearby other than the place downstairs? Walk a bit further for your meal. It will also be easier for you to control your portion sizes if you eat somewhere other than an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Meanwhile, don\'t forget to plan to do with your parents when they arrive.

For example, how many meals will you be having together? Make sure you can either cook vegan meals or know for sure which restaurants have vegan options.
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Im at 22 year old female, from the age of 12 I have always known that I am bisexual, however recently I have jumped from lad to lad, I have also started to feel its more myself and happy flirting with the ladies, im just confused if this means im more gay then straight

If you have \"always known\" that you are bisexual, why does it matter if you are \"more\" gay or straight?

Bisexuality doesn\'t have to mean that you are equally attracted to men and women, just that you can be attracted to both.

You can still be bisexual even if you prefer women more than men.
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I'm a lesbian, and i'm always getting used by my straight friend. She is always dirty texting me, and touching herself when she's talking to me, but she says that only i turn her on and she wouldn't date me because she doesn't want to be a lesbian. She has a boyfriend, yet she comes to me when it comes to pleasure. I love her as a best friend, maybe more, but only if she accepted. But, it seems like lately, all we've been doing is "making love" and she doesn't even love me.
Is she gay? Why is she using me like this? When she asks me to turn her on, etc, she tell me to "Make love" to her. Does that mean she loves me? because she normally says sex, unless she's talking about me. We've never actually done it, but we talk and touch ourselves.

Your friend can want to do sexual things with you even if she doesn\'t love you. Some people just want casual sex without the love. \"Making love\" is a common euphemism for having sex. It doesn\'t have to imply that she loves you.

I don\'t think it\'s fair for you to say that she is using you when you are doing this with her despite knowing that she has a boyfriend.

I think speculating on your friend\'s sexual orientation is besides the point here. If she has a boyfriend and isn\'t planning on breaking up with him any time soon, I think that\'s an obvious sign she isn\'t after a committed relationship with you.

It is possible that your friend is confused or in denial about her sexuality, and that is a difficult situation to be in, but that is her problem.
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Yes. I am 5'5 and I weight just 90-93 lbs. I used to weight 95-98 lbs but when I got my wisdom teeth pulled I couldn't eat a hole lot so I lost quiet a bit of weight. I was wanting to know if I should exercise on top of eating certain food with protein an fiber. Also, what are they types of foods I should eat to help me gain or also how many calories in a day should I eat. My ideal weight I would like to be at is about 100-105 lbs.

The number of calories you should be having a day is about 2000 calories. (You will need more if you do a lot of physical activity.)

You should have a balanced diet with all the different types of nutrients such as carbohydrates, protein, fibre, fat, and vitamins and minerals.

Frequent small meals are generally better than eating a lot at once, similar to the way body builders eat lots of meals a day to keep a constant supply of protein. You won't need to eat that much, but the concept still applies.

If you tend to not feel hungry and forget to eat, set reminders for regular meal times.

Exercise should be part of a healthy lifestyle, and resistance training (such as lifting weights) will help you build muscle. The amount that is right for you will depend on your existing fitness level. Do what you can, and eat accordingly.

(Keep in mind that while exercise can increase your appetite, strenuous exercise can have the opposite effect because it can reduce the blood flow to your stomach so that you don't feel hungry.)
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I have been on/off with my current boyfriend for about a year and i always told him i have feelings for him, even when i had a boyfriend at the time, i just wanted him. By the end of that year we got together and he disappeared for a week or so, no calls no texts and picks up after many calls very coldly.
I started seeing someone else and then he started apologizing to me, I said OK but i was never ok, because I have trust and intimacy issues and then i told him im seeing someone else, but he said i had to choose, n i chose him. I met the other guy and we had a stupid quicky, never happened again, i tried to actually be with the other guy but i loved number one too much and i really fell for him.
all this was at the first month and a half of our relationship, and 4months in i told him something and it took us to me telling him about the whole thing.
I am trying now after 4months since i have done my cheating (which i would like to say a stupid mistake) to gain his trust and help him overcome this.
But ii want to know, from all of you, when you have serious and major trust issues, due to a history of abuse for more than 15yrs, does that really make you a cheater, like what i did.

All i was trying to do was to be fair to myself and assertive, as men always get a piece of me for nothing, and i was trying to just protect myself and be safe, i did wrong.

It is not your fault that you have trust issues, but perhaps you are not ready for a committed relationship.

If your boyfriend has been cold to you, he isn't the right person for you anyway. You deserve someone who is prepared to give you the attention you need, and also be open enough to let you know if he needs some time to himself, not just disappear.

With that being said, two wrongs don't make a right. If you are in an exclusive relationship, being with someone else is cheating. History can explain your behaviour but not excuse it. The relationship is about both of you. How would you like it if he cheated on you?
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Before Twitter changed the layout a few days ago, I had a personalized background image. It showed up on every page of my twitter account: my Home, Notifications, Discover and Me pages. I am talking about the background image for the full page... not the banner header image or avatar image. Anyway, I made the switch to the new layout, and now, my page background image is only showing up in my back office pages but not on my "Me" page, which is the page that everyone sees. That is the page I need it on the most. I have been asking support and they don't answer questions directly. I looked on a few other people's pages that have the new layout and they have their background images showing, so why isn't mine showing? I have tried to change it and it changes on every page except for my main profile page. Is there a new process or is it just going to take time for everyone's pages to catch up or what? Thank you.

Your profile's background picture is now separate from your site-wide theme.

Here is a guide to customising Twitter
http://mashable.com/2010/10/06/new-twitter-background-customize/, and here is a guide to the new profiles http://mashable.com/2014/02/11/twitter-redesign-facebook-google/.
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I am a single parent. I have two children. My oldest 7 years old has aspergers. I sometimes feel I have it figured out I can handle this. Other times I am on the verge of tears and just don't know what to do. He is in therapy, the school knows about his disgnoses, he is now being medically treated. ( he has ADHD and Aspergers) If I take him to a store, zoo, holiday party, etc he will have a melt down just cry scream not want to be there. If we go to friends birthday parties he will get angry with the other kids and they are being kids not being any meaner than normal kids would be. I stand right there supervising because with him having problems I dont always know how hell get or how other kids who have not been around kids with problems may react and it doesnt help that he is a lot taller than children his age he is 4'7". He plays sports but when his younger sister is in gymnastics which his grandfather takes her to because I normally work that day he will act up in public. I feel I cant take him anywhere feeling trapped. Dont get me wrong. I love my son and would never trade him for anything I enjoy all our good times but I want him to interact with people. I want to be able to call people over and do a dinner or play date or take my kids on a summer vacation.

People on the autism spectrum (of which Aspergers is a part) tend to have sensory processing issues. This can go both ways; that is, either too sensitive or not sensitive enough to certain types of stimuli. A lot of the meltdowns are caused by these issues. It may be possible to improve your son's behaviour by addressing these issues.

For example, a common one is sensitivity to sound. If your son is bothered by noise, allow him to wear earplugs or earmuffs. Let him try some on and see if he can still hear you talk. It may sound counter-intuitive, but it is possible that he will actually hear you better with them because they block out background noise and allow him to focus on what you are saying. With that being said, only ever use them when needed, and do not allow him to wear them all day, because he will get used to them and become even more sensitive.

(Earplugs are less obvious to other people, but are also more easily lost, and may be harder for him to put in or remove if he has poor fine motor control, which is also common amongst people on the autism spectrum.

In contrast, earmuffs are less convenient to carry around and can be more uncomfortable (especially in hot weather), but have a better frequency profile for conversation, and are probably easier to put on, especially if he requires your help with that.)

Another common one is sensitivity to light. Next time you go to the shops, take note of whether they have fluorescent lights. They flicker at double the supply frequency (which is 50 or 60 Hz depending on the country), and most people do not notice it, but they are a problem for people who are sensitive to light, including some people on the autism spectrum. If possible, go to shops with non-fluorescent lighting. Alternatively, let your son wear tinted glasses.

(Irlen glasses (http://irlen.com/) are specifically targeted at people with autism or ADHD, but tinted glasses that are made for people who have migraines can be suitable too. I like the photochromic wrap-around ones from Axon Optics. http://www.axonoptics.com/)

I have Aspergers too (but not ADHD), and my mother can only wish she knew about these things when I was a child. I only realised how good it is to have earplugs when I was given a pair at work and tried them on, and I went looking for tinted glasses because the fluorescent lights in my office were making me really miserable.

Each person is different, and things that are helpful to one person may not be so effective for another. Try one thing at a time, stick with it for at least a few weeks, and keep a diary of how things go. If something helps, that's great. If it doesn't try something else.

If your son currently plays sports, make sure to give him the chance to continue. Proprioception and motor skills also tend to be a problem for people on the autism spectrum, so you should give him the chance to develop these skills. Getting enough exercise also tends to be good for improving attention span, and team sports also provide a chance to spend time with other kids and learn to cooperate.

When you have plans (such as inviting people over for dinner or going places), tell him in advance if possible, so that he knows what to expect.

Also, do not let the conditions be an excuse for bad behaviour. It is important to teach him which behaviours are acceptable in what contexts and why. (The latter part is important because people on the autism spectrum are less likely to accept "rules for the sake of rules" and will want to know why a rule exists.)
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How do you get a job with metro north railroad? Any advice for what to expect if I get a job on the railroad?

The Metro North Railroad is operated by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. Check their website for job listings, and apply if you see one that suits you.

http://web.mta.info/mta/employment/

Some examples of jobs in rail are:

Operations: train driver / guard, station attendant, signaller, timetable planner
Maintenance: engineer, technician, development planner
Support: functions that all companies need, such as HR and finance roles

What are you looking for in particular?

Some of these jobs will require relevant tertiary qualifications, while others require on the job training.

As stated on its website, the MTA is "a public benefit corporation chartered by the State of New York", so you'll be looking at getting a government job, which is likely to be fairly secure and have good working conditions. On the other hand, public transport is inherently highly politicised, and there will be a lot of bureaucracy.

With all that being said, I work on a railway, and I would recommend it.
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