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Parents coming to visit. What should we expect?
My GF and I moved into a new condo about a year ago. We are both from the suburbs and our current place is downtown. We love it. Instead of walking everywhere, we can sit on a bus to go wherever we need to go. Instead of grocery shopping, there is an all-you-can-eat buffet downstairs. Both of us come from vegan families, with hobbies like running and biking.
But since our move away, we have both ditched those lifestyles to live at large for a while. Without all the constant pressure from our families, we have been enjoying ourselves.
No more uncomfortable clothes. Its now sweats and slippers for both of us, even in public. Now we only get off the sofa to go downstairs for the buffet. Neither of us have done anything fitness related for about a year now. We've each put on about 50 lbs. But we enjoy sitting on our (now large) butts with our feet up. Only problem is both of our parents are coming to visit next week and they havent seen us since the day we moved in! We're out of breathe walking down the hall and we werent even allowed to own slippers and sweatpants when we lived at our family homes. What should we expect? Im worried about them even recognizing our faces because of our chubby cheeks and double chins :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
First let me say I believe I understand what is going on with you two and your drastic change of life style since leaving home. While I will not chastise you or condemn you for what has happened I can also cannot fully support the change in lifestyle either.
First your questions: What can you expect from your parents. They are your parents so have no fear they will know who you are. They may be somewhat horrified to see all the weight you two have gained and rightfully so for several reasons some of which I will address later. As for your clothing style; frankly that is no longer any of their concern. You two are adults living on your own and as long as your style of dress does not offend community standards, meaning appropriate body parts are appropriately covered that is all that matters.
You can expect to be lectured not only on your lifestyle but your weight gain. Pay attention to what your parents say about your weight gain, not just because they taught you better but what it is doing for your health.
As far as lifestyle changes go as to dress those changes with the seasons so to speak. Before I retired I dressed in office casual every day. Today I sit here at my computer, as my wife is still working and I am also physically disabled, in a pair of soccer pants and T-shirt and I haven't shaved in a few days as I have no reason too. Why because I'm in that season of my life. Use your own words but that is really all you have to say to your parents, this is your life how you dress is totally up to you.
The weight gain: What really caught my attention was not so much the 50 lbs. but this sentence; "We're out of breathe walking down the hall." You are young people being 50 lbs. overweight should not be causing you this type of problem; there is something else at play. My best guess is what you're eating and where you're eating.
Going from a fitness diet at home to the type of food you find at a buffet restaurant was bound to cause a weight gain. These meals are high calorie high cholesterol meals. You can have the same type of meals at home with lower calories and lower cholesterol with the added enjoyment of saving money and cooking together.
I'm not a doctor but my guess is that the reason you are so out of breath are twofold. One you have let yourself get out of shape and two you have a high cholesterol count clogging important veins. Before you have a heart attack or stroke visit you doctor for blood work and have you blood pressure checked. There is a good chance if your cholesterol is high your blood pressure is elevated as well which would be another reason walking down the hall is causing a shortness of breath.
A favorite line of mine from the TV show "West Wing" is when the Speaker of the House admits he is "One Steak Dinner away from a Heart Attack." From what I'm reading here that line could fit you and your girlfriend.
Lifestyle is one thing, longevity of life another. Go see a doctor and see just how bad a shape you and your GF have let yourselves get.
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First of all, don't worry about your parents not recognising you. They're your parents. They will know it's you.
Yes, they will most likely disapprove of your current lifestyle. You're an adult now, so take the criticism like one. Admit that you're lazy, but also remind them that it's your responsibility to decide how you live, not theirs.
You won't be able to lose much weight before they arrive, but this is a good time to start changing your lifestyle to be healthier.
You don't have to go running and biking if you don't like those activities. Just work in a bit more physical activity so that you're not out of breath just walking down the hall.
While physical activity will help with both developing cardiovascular fitness and losing weight, these two things can happen separately. Once you gain weight, it is generally difficult to lose it, but you can still become fitter even if you don't lose weight.
Are there any other food outlets nearby other than the place downstairs? Walk a bit further for your meal. It will also be easier for you to control your portion sizes if you eat somewhere other than an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Meanwhile, don't forget to plan to do with your parents when they arrive.
For example, how many meals will you be having together? Make sure you can either cook vegan meals or know for sure which restaurants have vegan options.
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I can't believe you came from such healthy minded backgrounds and then allowed yourselves to get this out of control! Wow, I guess your parents WILL be shocked! My guess is that you are really going to get some flack from them and just for the record you know you deserve it, right? You are begging for diabetes, sleep apnea and a host of other obesity related health problems. It sounds like you are having trouble breathing already! You already know what you need to do since you used to do it, so I am not going to waste my time explaining diet and exercise. Just tell the parents the truth and let them know you plan to get back on track. It really is all you can do at this point and hopefully you both learned a lesson! Good luck!
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