how much cum do you need to get pg

Don't they tell you about this in Sex Ed any more?

It is not the volume of sperm that is needed to make you pregnant as it takes only one sperm to make you pregnant. What the volume of sperm ejaculated does is insures enough sperm survive the trip from the vagina to the fallopian tube to meet up with the egg.

One drop of ejaculate has thousands of sperm in it, more than enough, if all are healthy, to make the journey. A full ejaculation has millions of sperm in it and thousands of sperm will end up in the fallopian tube. The first to make it to the egg and penetrate the egg wins the race an you are then pregnant if all else goes right.


For us to lose virginity through fingering does our finger has to go really deep
is it possible that you bleed while rubbing your pussy? And if you do bleed while rubbing what does that mean?please tell I'm really worried

First: You do not lose your virginity through fingering not by today's definition of virginity. By today's definition of virginity one loses their virginity when a penis penetrates a vagina. Whichever partner is a virgin prior to penetration they are no longer a virgin once penetration happens.

At one time several generations ago for a women it was the tearing of her Hymen that meant she was no longer a virgin and it was expected she would be a virgin on her wedding night. In the really old days the wedding night was spent at the girls parents house and it was expected that there would be blood on the sheets. In the morning mom would hang the sheets out the bedroom window to show the neighbors that indeed her daughter was pure when she married.

Today women are more athletic and more experimental with sex. It is very possible that when she does lose her virginity that through exercise, dance or sexual experimentation such as fingering she will have already lost or torn her Hyman. For this reason the definition of virgins has changed to what I first wrote.

Now it is possible to bleed while fingering yourself or being fingered by someone else. You could tear or scratch your Hyman causing you to bleed or if you or your partner have long fingernails you may cut an inner wall of your vagina causing some bleeding.

Now if you are really penetrating yourself or being penetrated deeply by someone it might be possible that you injured your womb. If the bleeding does not stop on its own you should see a gynecologist for help, especially if you want to have children in later life.


Hi all, I'm looking for a book on sexual pleasure/technique that is very aware/sensitive to issues of consent, age, and gender. I was in a relationship for a very long time and feel sort of...out of the loop? Thanks for any help!

I'm not sure exactly what you are looking for so I am not going to make a specific recommendation. I first used a search engine typing in your question title. This did not return anything useful. Then I typed in SEX IN THE MODERN AGE. This returned a host of titles with subject matter close to what I believe you are looking for. Try typing in to what ever search engine you use "SEX IN THE MODERN AGE" AND LOOK AT THE RETURNS.

Dating and sex has not changed much over the years. What has changed is consent and sexual harassment. When someone says no it is NO any further discussion or pushing, pleading or in any way trying to get that person to comply is considered sexual harassment. Depending on the degree of Harassment you could be charged with a felony.

Age of consent has changed as well. Many states has raised the age of consent to 18 and eliminated the grace years period, which varied from 2 to 4 years. If you are over 18 years of age make sure you know the laws in your state and you know the true age of your partner. If you are in doubt of your partners true age; my advice is to keep it in your pants.

Since you have not given your age there is one other law you need to be aware of. That is the Federal Mann act. Under this act it is a Federal Felony punishable for up to life in prison for taking a minor across state line for the purpose of sex. If you are an adult with a minor and you are charged with statutory rape of a minor having crossed state lines the Mann acat would apply.


does semen die on contact with water

Please be more specific with your question. How is the water coming in contact with the semen and in what manner?


My Grandpa and I have never had a relationship. I don't dislike him or anything but we've just never bonded or had anything to talk about. Recently I found out he has stage 4 lung cancer. My mother has been guilt tripping me about how I haven't called him (he lives in Georgia and I am in California). I do not want to make him feel weird or awkward or anything because we have never spoke on the phone. We haven't spoke in years actually. Am I wrong for not calling? I feel it is a bit of a selfish act but at the same time don't want him to realize I am calling just because he is dying. This sounds so awful. Words of advice please.

I would never advise you to call someone just because someone else is guilt tripping you into it. You are an adult now and you know what feels right and what feels wrong.

Calling your grandfather who is aware of his medical condition gives you an opportunity to say good bye to him and let him know you are thinking of him. It is not weird or awkward for someone in his condition to receive calls from people he has not spoken to in years and may even lift his spirits to hear from his long lost granddaughter. This phone call from you also gives him the opportunity to say goodbye to you.

IF there was bad blood between you then my advice would be different. You would have every right not to call. Since it is just a matter of you two never bonding the phone call is your choice to make without reservation or guilt trip.


State Pennsylvania

My friend had gotten primary custody of his daughter due to his wife ( they are in the process of divorce ) was on drugs , cheating , ran out of the court house before they even got in front of a judge. She filed for modification some time later and he still has primary custody but she was awarded every other weekend visitation. She does not work lives off a boyfriend. He works full time 3rd shift he is living with a sister who helps him with his daughter while he works in return he helps with bills and house work. She has child abuse allegations against her because the child told her teacher her mom abuses her the teacher had to report it. Cys says case will remain open for a year but they don't see any abuse at this time. The little is a bit hyper active father doesn't want he Ron medication mother does. Mother took her to see a doctor and the doctor said we can't even speak to you because of the custody order. She flipped filing a 3rd modification. In which the judge determined to leave as is for now but they have to come back in 6 months well they want him to get different hour job? How can they even consider giving her custody just because she says she doesn't want someone else watching her child. Punish him for being a provider ?

The court will most always support the custodial parent when it comes to things such as health care and education. The reason for this is to remove these two very important segments of the child's life from being an instrument that the parents can quarrel over that is not in the best interest of the child.

Should the non-custodial parent think that the custodial parent is not providing proper child care or seeing to it that the child is sent to school. Then the non custodial parent can file an emergency request for a hearing on these items in front of a judge. The judge has the right to ask for Child Protective Services (CPS) to investigate and report to the court their findings. It is extremely rare if ever that CPS or the court would request or order a custodial adult to change jobs or work hours.

What the court would do in the case where the custodial parents work hours are seen to be a problem. The court could make a change in custody. This does not mean the other parent would get custody. The child could be come a ward of the court and placed in a foster home, a blood relative such as Aunt, Uncle or grandparent, in this case paternal, would be granted temporary custody.

IF your friend is properly providing for his father the court will not punish him based solely on the word of the mother.


So I'm on the pill, but I have missed quite a few days, I started my period the 10th an got off the 16th, I had unprotected sex the 18th, an after a day or so I was bleeding slightly.
I looked on an ovulating calendar an it said the 18th I was fertile. Is any of the slight bleeding or anything a strong sign of me actually being pregnant, or is there a higher chance then the normal risk?
Please help

Most women are not fertile until sometime between the 7th and 21st day of their period cycle. While it is possible for you to become pregnant on the 18th it is not the most fertile time of the month for most women.

None of us are doctors and even if we were your question does not have an easy answer. Because you were in your fertile time pregnancy is possible. It is also highly possible you are not. The only way to know for sure is on the or after the 3rd of November take a home pregnancy test. IF it is positive don't panic. Wait 10 more days and test again. It is more likely to get false positives than false negatives and is the reason you always double check before panicking.


My entire life, I've been lazy. I'm not stupid, but unmotivated. There were times when I was focused and driven-- but, it was for a mere, temporary moment. I was never consistently passionate. EVER. I've done all activities when I was younger -- martial arts, ballet, and piano. Yet, I disliked them. I had played piano for nearly 8 years, but I wasn't good. Because I hated it. No one pushed me. Grade school to middle school, I've earned average grades-- with a couple C's there. High School, I took challenging courses freshman year, received 2 final average D's. Sophomore year, I took two honors and rest regulars -- hence, I received mostly A's. This year, I stacked up my schedule. Currently, I have 3 C's (the marking period didn't end yet). Honestly, when I attempt to focus, it just dies later on. I feel I could've achieved so much if i were not lazy. I attempted to change myself, but it did not work out. I want to become a marketing/advertising major, I'm creative, but I'm scared whether or not I have the capability to. I'm currently in marching band, but I force myself to do it. I despise it. What is wrong with me? If I were more driven, I could've been more successful than I am today. I'm so angry and bitter.

I can't say if you're lazy or just overwhelmed. You don't get A's in regular course's unless you apply some effort so to say you're lazy doesn't fit. When you are forced to do things you don't like it is hard to put in the effort to do it well such as piano.

This is a mistake we parents make be forcing our children to do things because we feel they need to be exposed to certain things. Even when they do not do well at them we may still force them hoping that they will do better over time. It is unfortunate for the child as we parents to different degrees all make this mistake.

Once a child becomes overwhelmed it becomes harder for them to focus and as you are seeing they find it hard to rise to certain challenges. They are then seen as lazy, which is not the case. What you have written about attempting new challenges only to have your efforts die out is a symptom of someone who has been overwhelmed with in the past and present.

Whose idea was it to take the advanced courses, yours or mom and dads? You say this year you have stacked your schedule. I'm not sure what that means. What I can be sure of is you may not be, especially at this time, is an honors student. Don't worry you can still get into a good college without honors courses.

It is probably too late to withdraw or drop a course that you may have selected as an honors course. What you might be able to do is move from that course to a regular course if your guidance counselor approves. I once had my entire schedule changed in mid semester, by the assistant principal so I could take advantage o a program he was running that he wanted me to be a part of. So it can be done if they want to do it for you.

Thinking as you are right know has also given you self-esteem problems. This is something you need to improve as improving your self-esteem will improve you overall. TO do so may require the help of a therapist. Someone you can talk to knowing that everything you say goes no further.


I need help, I was put out my aunt and uncles house at 17. I am now 22. I've always had a problem growing up. I struggled with depression for as long as I could remember. I started to get myself together when I was 21. Had A Job Found A Room at But I Lost My Job And Was Still depressed. I find myself always being depressed and always hating them for giving up on me so I gave up on myself. I been jumping from family member to family member I'm depressed and lost. I'm currently unemployed and ready to just really give up this time.

Having fought the battle with depression myself I understand how you feel and what you are going through. Giving up is not the answer, getting help for your depression will turn your life around. You may need to take medication for a while if so take the medication as directed everyday. The medication will help you feel better and lift the fog of depression so you can work better with the therapist to get at the root cause of your depression.

Once you find the root cause of the depression you can learn to deal with it and what the triggers are. No one is born depressed though it is a problem that is passed from parent to child. With proper support you can turn your life around and live a fulfilling life. The problem with depression is it is vicious circle. Depression cause us pain both physical and mental, the pain causes depression. You need to break the cycle. The medication and talk therapy will break that cycle.

Should you have no place to turn for help then call this Hot Line - 1-800-273-8255. It is the hot line for National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Since depression is the major cause of suicide these people are best prepared to help you. The hot line is available 24/7, it is anonymous and it is a free call. A trained volunteer will take your call and help you find people in your town who can help you.


So, im 22 female. my parents have been together for 30 years. Back when i was 15, I always caught my dad on porn sites or using a webcam.. too young to realize. when i was 18, i realized how much he was always leaving the house at night (my mom works nights) and the nights my mom didnt work he would be home. He would come home those nights acting weird, i knew something was up. I found him in a chat site, and in his search history a lot of searches for escorts, prostitutes, sex sites, etc like craigslist. It bothered me, knowing he was doing something behind my moms back and I knew, and disgusted me he was spending money on it. I tried to let my mom see the evidence by calling her nights he was out late when she was at work saying why isnt he home? Why does he have a webcam. The situation really bothered me knowing that I had this information that would break our family apart.

Anyways, I decided to completely forget about it as i moved to college, and hoped that he would change on his own or my mom would figure it out.

Here I am, almost 23, living at home finishing up my last year of college. When I went to his computer to print something off, I found a phone that isnt his primary phone, it was a prepaid phone. On it was texts to prostitutes named "trantran", and a guy with his full name listed, address, and sexual messages of plans of meeting up, what my dad wanted, what the other person wanted, when and where they would meet, and him saying he was on the way. There was about 3 visits to different people in a week... this obviously is a multiple times a week thing.

So, my dad is hooking up with "trans" and a guy, and i researched this guy based on his name and address he gave, and he is a !!!junior in highschool!!! This is something I cannot and will not forget, nor ignore.

To top it all off, I found this out 2 days ago, and 3 days ago my mom found out she might have breast cancer. So, here I am. Understanding my dad is rather gay, a sex addict, but do know hes cheating religiously on my mom and I am the only one who knows.

I can't tell my brother, him and my dad work together in their own business, and i dont want that stress to be put on my brother.
I told my boyfriend, he's helping as much as he can.

So what if I tell my mom, one, she is about to find out if she has cancer. Two, I feel like this decision, although I know this is not my fault, but this decision to tell her is heartbreaking because I am responsible for all the pain and stress she is about to go through. My whole family will fall apart, my grandparents aunts uncles and family friends will all be so mad etc. My dad will hate me for basically having all this information against him (I know that its his fault, yes, but still, i will have zero relationship after this). Who knows if he will hurt himself, run away, do something horrible.

What if I dont tell my mom. I feel guilty as hell knowing that she is being treated this way, having to lie to her, having so much anger to keep this horrible secret in because of him, but then again only I feel the pain of the situation if I dont tell. And my family goes on as is. Plus, my mom is supporting my family and my dad, as he is in debt from opening his store, yet he is spending money on sex..

What if I say something to my dad, how will he react, does he need help bc hes a sex addict or will he be embarrased bc maybe he is gay? Will he continue his ways, will he laugh in my face, will he hurt himself, will he run away, will he kill himself, will he really try and get help?

This situation is not my fault, but the outcome of this situation at this current moment is riding heavily in my hands.. i make the decision what to do, who to tell, what to say.. And i really just need help. No one, no one wants to find out their dad is this type of person, it RIPS me apart knowing he is cheating, lying, spending money on this, having sex with a high school student, knowing he must be sooo messed up in his head, must have such deep serious problems, be so wrapped up in this that he does it multiple times a week, comes home, lives a double life.

It tears me apart to know my mother, someone so sweet, caring, and giving, doesn't know, she doesn't deserve this, she will be CRUSHED, they have an upcoming vacation together. What if my dad gets caught by the police, what if my dad goes to jail, what if my dad is so emotionally messed up he has no idea what to do and feels alone, what if hes got so many problems he just ends up hurting himself. How do I sort these emotions out in my head, how do i make a decision, how do i deal with all of this..

any advice is helpful.

Your between a rock and a hard place with what you know and your mothers health is at risk even more so today as she is being treated for cancer. The cancer treatments will affect her immune system weakening it so she will not be able to fight off infections as well as if she didn't have cancers.

You do not know what type of sex exactly your father is having and if safe sex practices are being used. This means it is possible for him to pick up and STD or even worse case scenario the HIV/AIDS virus.

By having sex with a 16 year old boy you father is a child molester and this places a whole different view on the subject. Child molestation is a criminal offense.

In all the years your father has lives this double life he has not brought home any diseases so it is possible he does practice safe sex. IF you mother was healthy I would suggest you tell her before he does bring home something or before she found out for herself. She is not healthy and with illnesses such as cancer recovery is 90% attitude and 10% medicine. Meaning a good outlook saying to yourself that I am going to beat this does more for a cure than the medicine.

Because she is not healthy and if all that there was to this I would say not to tell her. But we have this child molestation issue to deal with. The proper way to deal with it is to file a complaint with the police. Which is what you should do. If you cannot bring yourself to turning your father in then you should confront him with the evidence and tell him he if he doesn't stop immediately. If he does not you will turn him in to the police.

Hopefully the threat we cause him to stop though I doubt it. If you do make the threat be ready to bring the charges if he violates the agreement


I am single,and am a christian. However,I this guy makes me soooo happy,and comfortable,he totally gets me and we can have the most random discussions with each other,he says he likes me,he told me and also my friends,I wud definetly date him but he's 15!!,and am 18 ppl wud talk,my family wud judge,and u know iht wud be ockward, but I like him so much,he makes me happy,and we have innocent fun together.. What should I do??

The only problem I see with the age difference is a legal one. At 18 you are an adult and he is a minor. Depending on the las in your state dating him good get you in to a host of legal problems. Some states do allow for an age diffence of a few years between a minor and a legal adult to date. Some states allow up to a 4 yera age difference. If yours does and you turn 19 while he is still 15 you face criminal charges just for dating.

When it comes to sex he is probably by law not old enough to consent to sex. So even if you date him if someone felt you were having a sexual relationship with him; you could go to jail.

The age difference here is a legal mine field that is better not to cross. Have him as a friend but not as a boyfriend or any type of relationship. Meet at his house or your house where your parents or his are around to chaparone. You can talk and befrriends but entering any type of relationship could be trouble for you.


I'm a huge hypochondriac and I've gotten to where I can't run afford to run to the doctor unless I know there might be a problem.

The other night, I noticed a lump on the upper left side of my chest and there are certain things that bother me about it. I had a relative look at it and she's insisting that it's nothing but a rib. However, I've tried and tried and I can't find an identical lump on the opposite side of my chest, which there should be if it's a rib. Also, it feels slightly softer than a bone, it moves a little, and it hurts. Maybe a better word would be that's it's uncomfortable.

I've looked it up and, aside from cancer, it could be a sebaceous cyst or it could indeed be a bone. Should I get it looked at or am I making too much of this?

My answer is an unequivocal yes, a doctor needs to see this lump. Any lump on, in or near your breasts need to be examined by a doctor. As the previous writer said, we are not doctors and we cannot examine the lump over the web.

My wife found a lump in her breast now going on six years ago. At first she was going to ignore it, then thought better of it. She is now a breast cancer survivor because of early detection. It took a MRI mammogram to properly detect and diagnose the lump and find a second one hiding behind a milk duct. Even then the doctors were not sure until a Biopsy was performed.

That fact that this lump is not on your breast says it may very possibly be a fibroid cyst. The question is: Are you willing to bet your life on that it is without a proper diagnoses from a doctor?

You should not worry about the cost of the diagnoses as there are programs to help defray the costs.


Hello, porn is wrecking my life. I am 24 and revert to it every few weeks or months for up to an hour - way too much. It makes me really depressed and I feel unstable mentally because of it. I don't want to pursue a relationship till I feel a bit more stable as I don't want to screw up anyone else's life. I guess the obvious answer is STOP DOING IT but it is like a drug that seems impossible to break! :(
What should I do?

You are not by any definition of the word addicted; addicted to porn. If you spend 1 hour viewing or reading porn and then can walk away for weeks or months at a time that is not an addiction. An addiction is when you cannot live without something, when must get your daily fix and you spend all your time trying to get that fix or in the case of porn or other things lavishing in the addiction.

I don't have an exact word for your problem but it is something like self-loathing after indulging in some form of porn. Why you may feel that way I really cannot say for certain. Most likely it has to do with upbringing, religious beliefs or both.

Porn does have it's place, if it didn't it would not be a multi billion dollar industry. If you're thinking porn only caters to the degenerates of the world you would be wrong. There is not enough of that class of people to support this industry to where it has grown. Most soft porn and some hardcore porn has become socially acceptable even though it remains somewhat closeted and viewed in secrecy.

Porn is also a relief valve for (young & older) people to masturbate with and relieve sexual tension. In some instances porn is a teaching aide for the young people to learn from. In older people they can indulge in some fantasy through porn before actually indulging themselves.

Porn definitely has its place in society. It is still something most people in polite society are not going to discuss around the water cooler. Though there is a good chance 4 out of 4 people around that water cooler have indulged in some type of porn during the past week and this includes that cute secretary. Have you ever read some of those Romance novels women read. They are more trashy than some of the porn novels men read.

In my view you are not addicted to porn. If you feel porn is a problem and you need help then you should see a psychologist as they are the ones qualified to help you.


I have two questions, but I'm going to focus on one major question.
I am an 18 year old female and I live with my parents and my 5 other siblings. So that makes 8 people in the house. In the house I am the second oldest and first oldest female. I have a 20 year old brother.My other siblings are 15,12,12, and 4. I am currently in college at a community college that pay's everything for me, including books. I plan to transfer in 2016. Anyways whatever scholarships I receive I get cash back as long as it doesn't exceed $15,000 each year. This semester I got $4,500 cash back. I'm getting the same next semester. I was working and decided to leave my job because I have to maintain a 3.5 GPA. I want my first year's grades to be great so that I can get many scholarships when I transfer. I also planned a trip to New York as a gift to myself after completing my two years at community college. I will need $1,000 for that.
Now my issue is that my parent's don't know how to control their finances, and ask for large sums of money from me unexpectedly. I have no problem helping out my parents but it seems like they DO NOT want to learn how to fix their finances and live under their means. I would like things better if my parents asked me for a consistent monthly bill. Twice my savings has been depleted by them. They owed $5,000 to the land lord because of 4 months of not paying rent. My mom owes the nursing school that she's attending $3,000. I was saving my cash back money for summer classes that are not paid for by my scholarship, a cheap laptop to help me study, take care of any finances that are not covered when I transfer, help cover my monthly bus pass and monthly cell phone bill.
I borrowed my mom $4,000. She promised to start paying me back $250 each week but every time I ask she tells me to leave it alone. What angers me is the fact that my parents will go on spending sprees. They don't save up for a bill but instead just wait for a paycheck to come in. For instance my phone bill each month is $45. When I was working I'd take $10 3 times from each paycheck and I took out $15 from one paycheck. That way when it's time to pay the bill I don't have to take a large chunk of a paycheck. My parents have a lot of credit card debt. They've been behind on rent several times. I went to Old Navy the other day to get a few tops for the changing whether and sweaters for two of my sisters. My mother bought $100 worth of stuff. I was kind of mad, because she's spending money that she doesn't have. When she's in a rut she comes and ask's for money without trying to change her habits, and DOES NOT budget or try to. I tried helping her find coupons but she doesn't listen. My siblings needed uniform for school, and I had plan to buy it for them, but I had to give the money to her. Again I have no problem helping out my parents but their finances are terrible and they don't try to change it. My mother borrowed my brothers credit card when he was 18 and used it to pay rent many times. She promised to pay the credit card bills but rarely does, and my brother works two jobs now while attending school to pay the debt.
Whenever I buy something for myself like a $6 meal or some clothes that I liked my dad get's mad, and my mom ask's me why didn't I buy for my siblings too. It makes me resent them sometimes. In high school I could never dress in the styles I wanted. I had bad acne and my parents didn't want to pay for things to clear my acne. They kept saying that didn't have money. Yet my dad would keep buying things for his "new" business that has never started. So I started selling candy and doing papers to make money. My dad would take my money. My bank account went into overdraft because of him. Now I'm an adult. I've found ways to clear up my acne by buying stuff after I got a job. I borrowed him $100 and really needed it back to pay for an educational program for my 4 year old sister because they were too busy to sign her up for one. He swore up and down that he'd give me the money that same day, but after I gave him the money he didn't seem to care about getting the money. He got mad and threatened to punch me in my face. He then wrote a $100 check and threw it at me.
I want to be involved in school activities but I see that I can't. I've decided to start looking for another job since the seasons are coming up and rack up some money for my summer classes and just give my parents a monthly check. I also apply to multiple scholarships to get cash back money.

Now I feel like I can't tell my parents anything about my money. They don't try to handle their finances.They make it seem like I'm a bad person when I really can't afford to give them large sums of money. Growing up there was so much that I couldn't get because they didn't have the money, and that's ok. What I hate now is how they don't care to take care of their finances but expect me to bail them out when I don't have a stable job and I'm saving up to get my degree's in speech pathology/audiology without debt. I would be way more happier giving them between $200-$300 a month to help out instead of them randomly asking for $1,000.

Am I being a brat? Am I being greedy? Am i wrong for asking for the money back? I don't need it to go on a shopping spree, but I save it for the future just in case I don't get enough scholarships, or a job my first few months when I transfer to a different college. What should I do?

You are between a rock and a hard place with your parents. In one sense by constantly loaning them money and bailing them out you are enabling them. In the other sense you are being a good daughter and older sister in helping out with the younger children.

What you should do or what I would say must do is top the enabling. If you want you can give them $250 dollars amount, call it rent money for room and board now that you're 18 and in college. Change passwords on your bank accounts, take your parents signature privileges of your accounts of need be change banks altogether so they cannot raid your bank accounts without your knowledge.

If you wish to or feel the need to purchase clothes for a sibling you make the purchase, do not give the money to your parents to do so. If a school bill needs to be paid and you feel you can do so then make the payment yourself. Once again do not give your parents the money to do so.

There is something else you can do. You can contact children's protective services'(CPS). IF the rent is constantly in the rears as well as the utilities. IF the children do not have proper clothes and shoes or are not getting proper medical and dental attention. Then Children's services' will step in. IT is possible that you and your older brother could be made guardians of the younger children. They would provide funding for you to house and properly care for them. They would do this through a wage garnishment of your parents wages and supplemented through their agencies funding.

You will not be able to teach you parent better financial management. You can provide a better life for your siblings if CPS finds what you have written about is as the find it to be and you and your brother are willing to step up and be the guardian of your siblings. This is the better solution to your situation.


some times I give head to men Id like to come clean with my wife

Okay your a closeted Bi who wants to come out of the closet with his wife. If you tell us what is holding you back other than fear itself maybe we can offer some specific help. In general what you can expect when you tell her is:

Your wife be shocked? When we think of Bi and Bi-curious people the first thing most of us think of is the female. Why this is I can't explain other than it is what is portrayed more in pornography that is found to be socially acceptable. So it would be reasonable just on those grounds for your wife to be shocked.

After being shocked comes anger and misunderstanding. Anger that you have hidden this from her. Misunderstanding that you could do something like this and possibly bring some disease home to her.

Guilt could be the next emotion she expresses feeling she may have done something or is not do something that drove you to so this. This will all depend on how you react to the first three emotions she express which may very well come in rapid fire order.

Will she throw you out of the house, will she want a divorce, will she think of you as gay? I can't answer these questions as I don't know her and would need to know her to have any concept as to how she would ultimately react upon hearing this.



Before I start, please do not tell me about the safety of having sex (using condoms to prevent pregnancy, to prevent getting STDs, even if you're on birth control pills, etc.) I am aware of all of these things.

Let me say that my boyfriend and I do not use condoms. We did at first, but I have been on birth control for the past three years. We are also both STD free.

So, my situation is I went through my boyfriend's wallet trying to get a hint of what I should get him for his birthday. His wallet didn't have many things in it and I found a condom. I got to thinking, if we don't usually use condoms, why would he carry one around with him? I thought maybe he forgot about it before he met me or he wanted to be safe just in case? But just in case what? Just in case another girl comes along that he wants to sleep with doesn't give me much of a reassurance.

I just want to understand why or the possibility of him having it would do. I know that if I got him a new wallet, he'll put another condom in it, too. I'm curious on what the purpose may be. Am I thinking too much into it? Should I even be worried about this?

I agree with the other writers, the condom is probably old and mostly forgotten about. When my father and I had "The Talk." Right after he told me to keep it in my pants he said if you can't do that then use one of these and handed me a condom. That one probably staid in my wallet right up until I entered the Air Force. IT and the wallet are probably buried in some landfill.

You also do not say how long the two of you have been going together. Young people have sex faster today then say there parents or grandparents did. So the condom could just be a leftover of his pre- relationship days with you. Men do not clean out their wallets as often as women do. I just cleaned out mine recently and found a receipt from two years ago.

I would say you are reading far to much into this.


I'm 15 and I reccently began to masterbate. I started by fingering myself but it really gave me no pleasure. I stopped for a long period after that and then looked up techniques but I'm not sure if I've ever orgasmed or cummed. What I did tonight, I will never forget that feeling. It was my first time masterbating in about 6 months and I went and had a warm shower and sat on the floor while the water stream was directed at my genitals. I grabbed an electric toothbrush and used it as a vibrator since I cannot obviously buy sex toys. Anyways, I warmed up and loosened my body with my fingers. Then, I used the electric toothbrush and placed it in different spots around my vaginal region. Never inside my vagina though because that could cause infection right? But I kept moving it around and finally found a spot I assumed to be my clitoris (above my vagina), and pushed the toothbrush harder against it and the feeling is hard to describe but I'll try. When I found 'the spot', I found that my whole body was tending up and my mouth dropped wide open. It was hard to breathe and I felt like I was gasping for air. Then, something warm came out of my vagina I think and when i took away the toothbrush , my vagina was tingling for about 30 min. Is that cum or like an orgasm? And what does either feel like? Also, is that a good feeling to have or a bad one? I found it very pleasurable but I couldn't breathe which scared me.. Please help!

Congratulations it sure sounds like you have experienced your first orgasm. You are also one of the few lucky women who may experience clitoral orgasm over vaginal orgasms. There is nothing wrong with being more clitorally stimulated then vaginally stimulated. In fact you should experience stronger orgasms if you teach your lover how to excite you and bring you to orgasm.

Sex is a learned experience. Yes we all know the basics as it is practically instinctive. But to have a truly enjoyable sex life we have to teach our lovers what feels good to us. This goes equally for both partners.

Actual intercourse can wait a few more years especially if you are getting the sexual relief you desire through masturbation. That is what masturbation is all about, especially for young women. It is a safe natural way to relieve sexual tension.

Most women are stimulated by vaginal stimulation, meaning having fingers, vibrators, didoes and eventually a penis pushed in and out of their vagina to bring them to orgasm. For women like yourself who may be more clitorally stimulated than vaginally stimulated special attention needs to be paid to the woman's clitoris during foreplay and intercourse.

There are sexual positions that you can find through research that will allow for the stimulation of your clitoris when you are ready to have sexual intercourse. The problem you will face is that the men in your life especially young men will not be aware of these positions for they learn about sex through reading and watching porn. Pornography does not address this issue in general you have to look for it specifically.

To be good long term sexual lovers takes time, communication and expressing to each other what your needs and desires are. Remember that sex is as intimate as it gets between two people. When you break it all down it does not get any more intimate than when two people their bodies to be connect through the insertion of one body part intimately into the other. IF you can do this then you can certainly talk about what your needs are to fully enjoy the pleasure this act brings to each of you.

In the mean time when you masturbate spend more time stimulating your clitoris but also continue to finger yourself as well. You should also let you hands wander over you body to find out what feels good.


I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years but I still feel like he doesn't trust me. He asks me the same question again and again as if I had lied.

He was previously engaged and she cheated on him multiple times, I just don't think he trusts me all because of her.

He's great, but he also yells so easily and he doesn't trust me. I just, i'm so torn.

Oh, and on top of that-- We live 4-5 hours away from each other.


Distance does not always make the heart grow fonder and may be behind his trust issues. If you cannot close the distance between you which I believe might help him with his trust issues. The the alternatives are:

1) One someone loses their trust in people it is hard to find again on their own. This is also probably a part of his problem with his quck temper. Suggest to him he seek out a psychologist for some hel with these problems. Talk therapy with someone wjo will listen and knowing whati said goes no further can be ver helpful. He has been hurt by his ex znd needs help healing.

2) The alternaive is to leave him. If you love him and feel he is someone you can build a life with then urge him to seek help. If his employer has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) the program will find a therapist for him and pay for a certain number of appointments in full. If more are needed his health insurance will pay a portion.


What websites should I use? I already have a twitter, a facebook account, and some others. But I want a real blog though.

You could use http://wordpress.com


im a male who cannt control my need to wear high heels away from work ones with a 6 or 7 inch heel if I don't I get depressed

Hey you have a harmless fetish, no problem. If it helps you from becoming depressed then it is a good thing. There are any number of fetishes out there today many far more harmful that wearing high heeled shoes. Yours is a harmless fetish you can indulge in with complete privacy by using the web to purchase your shoes.

Since you only made a statement there is not much else we or I can say to you. though if you have a question please write us back.



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