about


advice

I need help, I was put out my aunt and uncles house at 17. I am now 22. I've always had a problem growing up. I struggled with depression for as long as I could remember. I started to get myself together when I was 21. Had A Job Found A Room at But I Lost My Job And Was Still depressed. I find myself always being depressed and always hating them for giving up on me so I gave up on myself. I been jumping from family member to family member I'm depressed and lost. I'm currently unemployed and ready to just really give up this time.

Having fought the battle with depression myself I understand how you feel and what you are going through. Giving up is not the answer, getting help for your depression will turn your life around. You may need to take medication for a while if so take the medication as directed everyday. The medication will help you feel better and lift the fog of depression so you can work better with the therapist to get at the root cause of your depression.

Once you find the root cause of the depression you can learn to deal with it and what the triggers are. No one is born depressed though it is a problem that is passed from parent to child. With proper support you can turn your life around and live a fulfilling life. The problem with depression is it is vicious circle. Depression cause us pain both physical and mental, the pain causes depression. You need to break the cycle. The medication and talk therapy will break that cycle.

Should you have no place to turn for help then call this Hot Line - 1-800-273-8255. It is the hot line for National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Since depression is the major cause of suicide these people are best prepared to help you. The hot line is available 24/7, it is anonymous and it is a free call. A trained volunteer will take your call and help you find people in your town who can help you.

[view]


So, im 22 female. my parents have been together for 30 years. Back when i was 15, I always caught my dad on porn sites or using a webcam.. too young to realize. when i was 18, i realized how much he was always leaving the house at night (my mom works nights) and the nights my mom didnt work he would be home. He would come home those nights acting weird, i knew something was up. I found him in a chat site, and in his search history a lot of searches for escorts, prostitutes, sex sites, etc like craigslist. It bothered me, knowing he was doing something behind my moms back and I knew, and disgusted me he was spending money on it. I tried to let my mom see the evidence by calling her nights he was out late when she was at work saying why isnt he home? Why does he have a webcam. The situation really bothered me knowing that I had this information that would break our family apart.

Anyways, I decided to completely forget about it as i moved to college, and hoped that he would change on his own or my mom would figure it out.

Here I am, almost 23, living at home finishing up my last year of college. When I went to his computer to print something off, I found a phone that isnt his primary phone, it was a prepaid phone. On it was texts to prostitutes named "trantran", and a guy with his full name listed, address, and sexual messages of plans of meeting up, what my dad wanted, what the other person wanted, when and where they would meet, and him saying he was on the way. There was about 3 visits to different people in a week... this obviously is a multiple times a week thing.

So, my dad is hooking up with "trans" and a guy, and i researched this guy based on his name and address he gave, and he is a !!!junior in highschool!!! This is something I cannot and will not forget, nor ignore.

To top it all off, I found this out 2 days ago, and 3 days ago my mom found out she might have breast cancer. So, here I am. Understanding my dad is rather gay, a sex addict, but do know hes cheating religiously on my mom and I am the only one who knows.

I can't tell my brother, him and my dad work together in their own business, and i dont want that stress to be put on my brother.
I told my boyfriend, he's helping as much as he can.

So what if I tell my mom, one, she is about to find out if she has cancer. Two, I feel like this decision, although I know this is not my fault, but this decision to tell her is heartbreaking because I am responsible for all the pain and stress she is about to go through. My whole family will fall apart, my grandparents aunts uncles and family friends will all be so mad etc. My dad will hate me for basically having all this information against him (I know that its his fault, yes, but still, i will have zero relationship after this). Who knows if he will hurt himself, run away, do something horrible.

What if I dont tell my mom. I feel guilty as hell knowing that she is being treated this way, having to lie to her, having so much anger to keep this horrible secret in because of him, but then again only I feel the pain of the situation if I dont tell. And my family goes on as is. Plus, my mom is supporting my family and my dad, as he is in debt from opening his store, yet he is spending money on sex..

What if I say something to my dad, how will he react, does he need help bc hes a sex addict or will he be embarrased bc maybe he is gay? Will he continue his ways, will he laugh in my face, will he hurt himself, will he run away, will he kill himself, will he really try and get help?

This situation is not my fault, but the outcome of this situation at this current moment is riding heavily in my hands.. i make the decision what to do, who to tell, what to say.. And i really just need help. No one, no one wants to find out their dad is this type of person, it RIPS me apart knowing he is cheating, lying, spending money on this, having sex with a high school student, knowing he must be sooo messed up in his head, must have such deep serious problems, be so wrapped up in this that he does it multiple times a week, comes home, lives a double life.

It tears me apart to know my mother, someone so sweet, caring, and giving, doesn't know, she doesn't deserve this, she will be CRUSHED, they have an upcoming vacation together. What if my dad gets caught by the police, what if my dad goes to jail, what if my dad is so emotionally messed up he has no idea what to do and feels alone, what if hes got so many problems he just ends up hurting himself. How do I sort these emotions out in my head, how do i make a decision, how do i deal with all of this..

any advice is helpful.

Your between a rock and a hard place with what you know and your mothers health is at risk even more so today as she is being treated for cancer. The cancer treatments will affect her immune system weakening it so she will not be able to fight off infections as well as if she didn't have cancers.

You do not know what type of sex exactly your father is having and if safe sex practices are being used. This means it is possible for him to pick up and STD or even worse case scenario the HIV/AIDS virus.

By having sex with a 16 year old boy you father is a child molester and this places a whole different view on the subject. Child molestation is a criminal offense.

In all the years your father has lives this double life he has not brought home any diseases so it is possible he does practice safe sex. IF you mother was healthy I would suggest you tell her before he does bring home something or before she found out for herself. She is not healthy and with illnesses such as cancer recovery is 90% attitude and 10% medicine. Meaning a good outlook saying to yourself that I am going to beat this does more for a cure than the medicine.

Because she is not healthy and if all that there was to this I would say not to tell her. But we have this child molestation issue to deal with. The proper way to deal with it is to file a complaint with the police. Which is what you should do. If you cannot bring yourself to turning your father in then you should confront him with the evidence and tell him he if he doesn't stop immediately. If he does not you will turn him in to the police.

Hopefully the threat we cause him to stop though I doubt it. If you do make the threat be ready to bring the charges if he violates the agreement

[view]


I am single,and am a christian. However,I this guy makes me soooo happy,and comfortable,he totally gets me and we can have the most random discussions with each other,he says he likes me,he told me and also my friends,I wud definetly date him but he's 15!!,and am 18 ppl wud talk,my family wud judge,and u know iht wud be ockward, but I like him so much,he makes me happy,and we have innocent fun together.. What should I do??

The only problem I see with the age difference is a legal one. At 18 you are an adult and he is a minor. Depending on the las in your state dating him good get you in to a host of legal problems. Some states do allow for an age diffence of a few years between a minor and a legal adult to date. Some states allow up to a 4 yera age difference. If yours does and you turn 19 while he is still 15 you face criminal charges just for dating.

When it comes to sex he is probably by law not old enough to consent to sex. So even if you date him if someone felt you were having a sexual relationship with him; you could go to jail.

The age difference here is a legal mine field that is better not to cross. Have him as a friend but not as a boyfriend or any type of relationship. Meet at his house or your house where your parents or his are around to chaparone. You can talk and befrriends but entering any type of relationship could be trouble for you.

[view]


I'm a huge hypochondriac and I've gotten to where I can't run afford to run to the doctor unless I know there might be a problem.

The other night, I noticed a lump on the upper left side of my chest and there are certain things that bother me about it. I had a relative look at it and she's insisting that it's nothing but a rib. However, I've tried and tried and I can't find an identical lump on the opposite side of my chest, which there should be if it's a rib. Also, it feels slightly softer than a bone, it moves a little, and it hurts. Maybe a better word would be that's it's uncomfortable.

I've looked it up and, aside from cancer, it could be a sebaceous cyst or it could indeed be a bone. Should I get it looked at or am I making too much of this?

My answer is an unequivocal yes, a doctor needs to see this lump. Any lump on, in or near your breasts need to be examined by a doctor. As the previous writer said, we are not doctors and we cannot examine the lump over the web.

My wife found a lump in her breast now going on six years ago. At first she was going to ignore it, then thought better of it. She is now a breast cancer survivor because of early detection. It took a MRI mammogram to properly detect and diagnose the lump and find a second one hiding behind a milk duct. Even then the doctors were not sure until a Biopsy was performed.

That fact that this lump is not on your breast says it may very possibly be a fibroid cyst. The question is: Are you willing to bet your life on that it is without a proper diagnoses from a doctor?

You should not worry about the cost of the diagnoses as there are programs to help defray the costs.

[view]


Hello, porn is wrecking my life. I am 24 and revert to it every few weeks or months for up to an hour - way too much. It makes me really depressed and I feel unstable mentally because of it. I don't want to pursue a relationship till I feel a bit more stable as I don't want to screw up anyone else's life. I guess the obvious answer is STOP DOING IT but it is like a drug that seems impossible to break! :(
What should I do?

You are not by any definition of the word addicted; addicted to porn. If you spend 1 hour viewing or reading porn and then can walk away for weeks or months at a time that is not an addiction. An addiction is when you cannot live without something, when must get your daily fix and you spend all your time trying to get that fix or in the case of porn or other things lavishing in the addiction.

I don't have an exact word for your problem but it is something like self-loathing after indulging in some form of porn. Why you may feel that way I really cannot say for certain. Most likely it has to do with upbringing, religious beliefs or both.

Porn does have it's place, if it didn't it would not be a multi billion dollar industry. If you're thinking porn only caters to the degenerates of the world you would be wrong. There is not enough of that class of people to support this industry to where it has grown. Most soft porn and some hardcore porn has become socially acceptable even though it remains somewhat closeted and viewed in secrecy.

Porn is also a relief valve for (young & older) people to masturbate with and relieve sexual tension. In some instances porn is a teaching aide for the young people to learn from. In older people they can indulge in some fantasy through porn before actually indulging themselves.

Porn definitely has its place in society. It is still something most people in polite society are not going to discuss around the water cooler. Though there is a good chance 4 out of 4 people around that water cooler have indulged in some type of porn during the past week and this includes that cute secretary. Have you ever read some of those Romance novels women read. They are more trashy than some of the porn novels men read.

In my view you are not addicted to porn. If you feel porn is a problem and you need help then you should see a psychologist as they are the ones qualified to help you.

[view]


I have two questions, but I'm going to focus on one major question.
I am an 18 year old female and I live with my parents and my 5 other siblings. So that makes 8 people in the house. In the house I am the second oldest and first oldest female. I have a 20 year old brother.My other siblings are 15,12,12, and 4. I am currently in college at a community college that pay's everything for me, including books. I plan to transfer in 2016. Anyways whatever scholarships I receive I get cash back as long as it doesn't exceed $15,000 each year. This semester I got $4,500 cash back. I'm getting the same next semester. I was working and decided to leave my job because I have to maintain a 3.5 GPA. I want my first year's grades to be great so that I can get many scholarships when I transfer. I also planned a trip to New York as a gift to myself after completing my two years at community college. I will need $1,000 for that.
Now my issue is that my parent's don't know how to control their finances, and ask for large sums of money from me unexpectedly. I have no problem helping out my parents but it seems like they DO NOT want to learn how to fix their finances and live under their means. I would like things better if my parents asked me for a consistent monthly bill. Twice my savings has been depleted by them. They owed $5,000 to the land lord because of 4 months of not paying rent. My mom owes the nursing school that she's attending $3,000. I was saving my cash back money for summer classes that are not paid for by my scholarship, a cheap laptop to help me study, take care of any finances that are not covered when I transfer, help cover my monthly bus pass and monthly cell phone bill.
I borrowed my mom $4,000. She promised to start paying me back $250 each week but every time I ask she tells me to leave it alone. What angers me is the fact that my parents will go on spending sprees. They don't save up for a bill but instead just wait for a paycheck to come in. For instance my phone bill each month is $45. When I was working I'd take $10 3 times from each paycheck and I took out $15 from one paycheck. That way when it's time to pay the bill I don't have to take a large chunk of a paycheck. My parents have a lot of credit card debt. They've been behind on rent several times. I went to Old Navy the other day to get a few tops for the changing whether and sweaters for two of my sisters. My mother bought $100 worth of stuff. I was kind of mad, because she's spending money that she doesn't have. When she's in a rut she comes and ask's for money without trying to change her habits, and DOES NOT budget or try to. I tried helping her find coupons but she doesn't listen. My siblings needed uniform for school, and I had plan to buy it for them, but I had to give the money to her. Again I have no problem helping out my parents but their finances are terrible and they don't try to change it. My mother borrowed my brothers credit card when he was 18 and used it to pay rent many times. She promised to pay the credit card bills but rarely does, and my brother works two jobs now while attending school to pay the debt.
Whenever I buy something for myself like a $6 meal or some clothes that I liked my dad get's mad, and my mom ask's me why didn't I buy for my siblings too. It makes me resent them sometimes. In high school I could never dress in the styles I wanted. I had bad acne and my parents didn't want to pay for things to clear my acne. They kept saying that didn't have money. Yet my dad would keep buying things for his "new" business that has never started. So I started selling candy and doing papers to make money. My dad would take my money. My bank account went into overdraft because of him. Now I'm an adult. I've found ways to clear up my acne by buying stuff after I got a job. I borrowed him $100 and really needed it back to pay for an educational program for my 4 year old sister because they were too busy to sign her up for one. He swore up and down that he'd give me the money that same day, but after I gave him the money he didn't seem to care about getting the money. He got mad and threatened to punch me in my face. He then wrote a $100 check and threw it at me.
I want to be involved in school activities but I see that I can't. I've decided to start looking for another job since the seasons are coming up and rack up some money for my summer classes and just give my parents a monthly check. I also apply to multiple scholarships to get cash back money.

Now I feel like I can't tell my parents anything about my money. They don't try to handle their finances.They make it seem like I'm a bad person when I really can't afford to give them large sums of money. Growing up there was so much that I couldn't get because they didn't have the money, and that's ok. What I hate now is how they don't care to take care of their finances but expect me to bail them out when I don't have a stable job and I'm saving up to get my degree's in speech pathology/audiology without debt. I would be way more happier giving them between $200-$300 a month to help out instead of them randomly asking for $1,000.

Am I being a brat? Am I being greedy? Am i wrong for asking for the money back? I don't need it to go on a shopping spree, but I save it for the future just in case I don't get enough scholarships, or a job my first few months when I transfer to a different college. What should I do?

You are between a rock and a hard place with your parents. In one sense by constantly loaning them money and bailing them out you are enabling them. In the other sense you are being a good daughter and older sister in helping out with the younger children.

What you should do or what I would say must do is top the enabling. If you want you can give them $250 dollars amount, call it rent money for room and board now that you're 18 and in college. Change passwords on your bank accounts, take your parents signature privileges of your accounts of need be change banks altogether so they cannot raid your bank accounts without your knowledge.

If you wish to or feel the need to purchase clothes for a sibling you make the purchase, do not give the money to your parents to do so. If a school bill needs to be paid and you feel you can do so then make the payment yourself. Once again do not give your parents the money to do so.

There is something else you can do. You can contact children's protective services'(CPS). IF the rent is constantly in the rears as well as the utilities. IF the children do not have proper clothes and shoes or are not getting proper medical and dental attention. Then Children's services' will step in. IT is possible that you and your older brother could be made guardians of the younger children. They would provide funding for you to house and properly care for them. They would do this through a wage garnishment of your parents wages and supplemented through their agencies funding.

You will not be able to teach you parent better financial management. You can provide a better life for your siblings if CPS finds what you have written about is as the find it to be and you and your brother are willing to step up and be the guardian of your siblings. This is the better solution to your situation.

[view]


some times I give head to men Id like to come clean with my wife

Okay your a closeted Bi who wants to come out of the closet with his wife. If you tell us what is holding you back other than fear itself maybe we can offer some specific help. In general what you can expect when you tell her is:

Your wife be shocked? When we think of Bi and Bi-curious people the first thing most of us think of is the female. Why this is I can't explain other than it is what is portrayed more in pornography that is found to be socially acceptable. So it would be reasonable just on those grounds for your wife to be shocked.

After being shocked comes anger and misunderstanding. Anger that you have hidden this from her. Misunderstanding that you could do something like this and possibly bring some disease home to her.

Guilt could be the next emotion she expresses feeling she may have done something or is not do something that drove you to so this. This will all depend on how you react to the first three emotions she express which may very well come in rapid fire order.

Will she throw you out of the house, will she want a divorce, will she think of you as gay? I can't answer these questions as I don't know her and would need to know her to have any concept as to how she would ultimately react upon hearing this.

[view]


21/f

Before I start, please do not tell me about the safety of having sex (using condoms to prevent pregnancy, to prevent getting STDs, even if you're on birth control pills, etc.) I am aware of all of these things.

Let me say that my boyfriend and I do not use condoms. We did at first, but I have been on birth control for the past three years. We are also both STD free.

So, my situation is I went through my boyfriend's wallet trying to get a hint of what I should get him for his birthday. His wallet didn't have many things in it and I found a condom. I got to thinking, if we don't usually use condoms, why would he carry one around with him? I thought maybe he forgot about it before he met me or he wanted to be safe just in case? But just in case what? Just in case another girl comes along that he wants to sleep with doesn't give me much of a reassurance.

I just want to understand why or the possibility of him having it would do. I know that if I got him a new wallet, he'll put another condom in it, too. I'm curious on what the purpose may be. Am I thinking too much into it? Should I even be worried about this?

I agree with the other writers, the condom is probably old and mostly forgotten about. When my father and I had "The Talk." Right after he told me to keep it in my pants he said if you can't do that then use one of these and handed me a condom. That one probably staid in my wallet right up until I entered the Air Force. IT and the wallet are probably buried in some landfill.

You also do not say how long the two of you have been going together. Young people have sex faster today then say there parents or grandparents did. So the condom could just be a leftover of his pre- relationship days with you. Men do not clean out their wallets as often as women do. I just cleaned out mine recently and found a receipt from two years ago.

I would say you are reading far to much into this.

[view]


I'm 15 and I reccently began to masterbate. I started by fingering myself but it really gave me no pleasure. I stopped for a long period after that and then looked up techniques but I'm not sure if I've ever orgasmed or cummed. What I did tonight, I will never forget that feeling. It was my first time masterbating in about 6 months and I went and had a warm shower and sat on the floor while the water stream was directed at my genitals. I grabbed an electric toothbrush and used it as a vibrator since I cannot obviously buy sex toys. Anyways, I warmed up and loosened my body with my fingers. Then, I used the electric toothbrush and placed it in different spots around my vaginal region. Never inside my vagina though because that could cause infection right? But I kept moving it around and finally found a spot I assumed to be my clitoris (above my vagina), and pushed the toothbrush harder against it and the feeling is hard to describe but I'll try. When I found 'the spot', I found that my whole body was tending up and my mouth dropped wide open. It was hard to breathe and I felt like I was gasping for air. Then, something warm came out of my vagina I think and when i took away the toothbrush , my vagina was tingling for about 30 min. Is that cum or like an orgasm? And what does either feel like? Also, is that a good feeling to have or a bad one? I found it very pleasurable but I couldn't breathe which scared me.. Please help!

Congratulations it sure sounds like you have experienced your first orgasm. You are also one of the few lucky women who may experience clitoral orgasm over vaginal orgasms. There is nothing wrong with being more clitorally stimulated then vaginally stimulated. In fact you should experience stronger orgasms if you teach your lover how to excite you and bring you to orgasm.

Sex is a learned experience. Yes we all know the basics as it is practically instinctive. But to have a truly enjoyable sex life we have to teach our lovers what feels good to us. This goes equally for both partners.

Actual intercourse can wait a few more years especially if you are getting the sexual relief you desire through masturbation. That is what masturbation is all about, especially for young women. It is a safe natural way to relieve sexual tension.

Most women are stimulated by vaginal stimulation, meaning having fingers, vibrators, didoes and eventually a penis pushed in and out of their vagina to bring them to orgasm. For women like yourself who may be more clitorally stimulated than vaginally stimulated special attention needs to be paid to the woman's clitoris during foreplay and intercourse.

There are sexual positions that you can find through research that will allow for the stimulation of your clitoris when you are ready to have sexual intercourse. The problem you will face is that the men in your life especially young men will not be aware of these positions for they learn about sex through reading and watching porn. Pornography does not address this issue in general you have to look for it specifically.

To be good long term sexual lovers takes time, communication and expressing to each other what your needs and desires are. Remember that sex is as intimate as it gets between two people. When you break it all down it does not get any more intimate than when two people their bodies to be connect through the insertion of one body part intimately into the other. IF you can do this then you can certainly talk about what your needs are to fully enjoy the pleasure this act brings to each of you.

In the mean time when you masturbate spend more time stimulating your clitoris but also continue to finger yourself as well. You should also let you hands wander over you body to find out what feels good.

[view]


I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years but I still feel like he doesn't trust me. He asks me the same question again and again as if I had lied.

He was previously engaged and she cheated on him multiple times, I just don't think he trusts me all because of her.

He's great, but he also yells so easily and he doesn't trust me. I just, i'm so torn.

Oh, and on top of that-- We live 4-5 hours away from each other.

THanks

Distance does not always make the heart grow fonder and may be behind his trust issues. If you cannot close the distance between you which I believe might help him with his trust issues. The the alternatives are:

1) One someone loses their trust in people it is hard to find again on their own. This is also probably a part of his problem with his quck temper. Suggest to him he seek out a psychologist for some hel with these problems. Talk therapy with someone wjo will listen and knowing whati said goes no further can be ver helpful. He has been hurt by his ex znd needs help healing.

2) The alternaive is to leave him. If you love him and feel he is someone you can build a life with then urge him to seek help. If his employer has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) the program will find a therapist for him and pay for a certain number of appointments in full. If more are needed his health insurance will pay a portion.

[view]


What websites should I use? I already have a twitter, a facebook account, and some others. But I want a real blog though.

You could use http://wordpress.com

[view]


im a male who cannt control my need to wear high heels away from work ones with a 6 or 7 inch heel if I don't I get depressed

Hey you have a harmless fetish, no problem. If it helps you from becoming depressed then it is a good thing. There are any number of fetishes out there today many far more harmful that wearing high heeled shoes. Yours is a harmless fetish you can indulge in with complete privacy by using the web to purchase your shoes.

Since you only made a statement there is not much else we or I can say to you. though if you have a question please write us back.

[view]


I'm the owner of Sin City Escorts Las Vegas. You can view our girls at http://www.escortslasvegasnv.com.

I've been wondering how many people that are not in the adult industry view this as a bad thing. Some of my girls have complained before about not always wanting to work as an escort because of some of the clients. Girls are always free do go as they please so it isn't anything like that. I would like to know how people view Las Vegas escorts and the adult industry?

First I find it hard to believe the owner of an escort service would come to this sight for answers to this question. So to the enterprising young person thinking moving to Nevada where Prostitution is legal just about in all Counties; EXCEPT CLARK COUNTY WHERE LAS VEGAS IS LOCATED. I'll provide you with my take on the subject.

While I was stationed in the military I often thought of taking advantage of the available legal prostitution. In the end though I found the thought of buying sex repugnant.

As I have grown older my feeling towards legalized prostitution is it probably has it place in todays society though that doesn't mean it is not demeaning to the women who practice it.

I've watched the HBO specials about the Bunny Ranch and listen to the girls who are doing so to pay for their education, some to get PHD and using their experience to write their thesis or so they say. I'm sure the clients that paid the big money, the ones we were shown, are not the majority of their clientele.

Most likely the majority of their clients paid anywhere from $150 to $300 half of which go to the house. That is not a lot of money to expose oneself to all the diseases they can come in contact with. Condoms are only effective against HIV/AIDS and some STD. The girls only use the condoms for intercourse. What about oral sex, same exposure risk, no protection.

These girls are young, are shown only the exciting high end of the business. When in actuality they could have multiple bookings a night. Tell me they are different then the brothel girls and not being exploited.

[view]


okay so I'm sixteen and I've been diagnosed with aspergus but that's not what this is about. basically i am depressed and confused and a whole lot of other things. I don't know how to explain this but I feel like my mind works differently to everyone else's. This may sound weird but I literally can not handle the fact that my life is meaningless, what i'm saying is when i die no one will remember me. The way i see it is that we are just little dots on the earth and we live out the same routines. it's like were robots who are programmed to just perform meaningless tasks until were no longer needed. All we do is grow, work then die and we all follow the same trends as well. no one is truly original, someone will have the same job, thoughts or opinions as you. you might say something like it's not about any of that and we just need to live our live to the fullest, but for what? To have it all wasted and thrown away after a few years. I know some people might say that we all have a purpose, for example I play the drums and I always wanted to be a drummer when I grew up but there has been millions of drummer's before me and how is playing the drums going to give me a purpose? It's not like I'm changing the world. which brings me onto another point. you might say that some people's hard work will live on forever but it won't. We will all be forgotten eventually no matter how important we were when we lived. You might think this is just negative thinking or maybe just puberty but to me this is awful. It's all i think about and it's horrible. This probably sounds stupid to you but this is killing me. I don't even know what i'm trying to ask but can you just give me some advice.

Being 16 is the problem you are having. While you are having a very unfortunate outlook on life at the moment, things do become clearer as you get older. The answer to your question is your normal. I will explain or at least attempt to.

When my son was your age he was in special education classes. One of his teachers one time told me I should teach him to say do you want fries with that order. Did he ever prove her wrong. He went into the Army and where the school system failed the the Army taught him.

Today he is a Firefighter/Paramedic and I stopped counting at 20 the lives he has saved. Imagine 20 people alive today because my son was in the right place at the right time to do what he does best so they can live out their destiny.

Of those 20 lives one stands out. She should be about your age now, she was 18 months old when her parents dialed 911 because she was not breathing. My son was not dispatched on the call but took the call as they felt they were closer than the ambulance that was dispatched. The dispatcher allowed both ambulances to run the call.

As my sons partner tells the story. They pull up in front of the home and my son runs in while he is gathering the jump[ bag and other equipment. As he is walking into the house the other ambulance pulls up and my son is running out of the house with the baby in his arms and he is doing CPR. HE tells his partner to drop the equipment he is carrying and drive the other ambulance and to head for the children's hospital where he works part time. This is the fortunate part.

Fire Department paramedics are primarily trained in Trauma and Cardiac care the two primary life threatening problems. This child while not breathing was suffering from another problem which he saw because of his training in infant intensive care transport. To make a long story short the little girl was breathing on her own by the time they reached the hospital. The other paramedics and the doctors all agree if it wasn't for my son and his partner deciding to run the call that little girl would have died.

I don't know what that little girls destiny is. Maybe she will be the first women President or maybe she will discover a cure for some disease that is threatening the planet like AIDS. The facts is she is alive to live out that destiny because my son followed his destiny and because my son has become one of the best paramedics ever trained by one of the best paramedics in the state.

I don't know what your destiny is but it is not as bleak as you make it out to be. You get out of life what you put into it. There are plenty of role models to look up to and model yourself after or you can strike out on your own. You are on this planet for a reason, it is up to you to find it.

[view]


I've had this problem for a little while now. I get these hard bumps in my scrotum skin. Not on top of skin but under a layer or two of skin. Sometimes they get really sore. some are on the upper layer of skin and I can poke with a sterile needle and stringy white stuff like pimple stuff strings out but then theres the ones that's a hard ball under skin that hurts bad sometimes and you squeeze them inside and nothing will come out it just hurts more and more but you can feel this hard little ball there. Some of them I have dug down through skin to the point you can see this little white ball and eventually I get it dug out but have to cut it away from the skin it seems to be attached to. I'm left with this little pearly white hard ball the size of a little pebble if you let it set once out it dries out if you set it on a hard surface and crunch it with your nail it literally crunches and pops and white material comes out and your left with a skin colored shell. The pain is gone from the area the ball was it. What are these things I'm digging out? Please help

I don't think it is anything serious but you need to see a doctor, probably a dermatologist. What probably is happening is the pores of the skin have become clogged. The white pussy stuff is most likely skin oil that has coagulated and now looks while and pus like. The fact that it is in the folds of the skin is what gives me this belief.

Men sweat a lot in that area and if we do not wash properly this can happen and even if we do wash daily some of us who have folds in the skin down there have to be more aggressive in washing there. Fact is men should be wearing the dresses and women the pants. I guess that is why Scottish men wear Kilts.

This is something if you wish you can tell mom about as it is not an STD or anything sexual. You don't have to for at 16 you are by law old enough to make your own doctors appointments and to visit a doctor without parental permission for anything to do with your reproductive system. Your scrotum is definitely part of that system so you qualify under this Federal Law call HIPPA.

I strongly suggest that you do tell mom or dad for if you are using a body wash to shower with it may not be strong enough to properly clean your scrotum and you may need another type of wash or use regular soap. Your doctor will advise you when you visit. Just remember this is not an STD but it should be attended to by a doctor especially if you wish to have children as an adult.

[view]


A year ago I was diagnosed with chronic schizophrenia & psychosis. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and they kept asking me was I ok and have I ever thought about killing someone or myself. I have thought about killing myself by overdose, or just jumping from somewhere and dying.Sometimes I wish I could die in an accident, whatever is quick. I have no family or friends to talk to. I have family problems, i'm homeless and I've been bullied all through school and have low self esteem. If I told a doctor I wanted to kill myself would they try to force me in a mental hospital?

If I were a doctor, which I am not, knowing you are homeless and having suicidal thoughts. I would want you in the hospital if possible. I would probably ask you to go in voluntarily as involuntary commitment requires a patient to meet criteria that you may not meet. Being homeless and having suicidal thoughts does not generally meet criteria.

Big difference between voluntary and involuntary commitment to a hospital. Going in to the hospital voluntarily means you can leave any time you want, You would probably not be in a locked unit either. Involuntary commitment generally means placement in a locked unit, escorted wherever you go, no privacy and in some states you may possibly be kept until doctors release you. In others involuntary commitments can only be for a specific period of time such as 72 hours.

Given that you suffer from chronic schizophrenia & psychosis and are now having these thoughts. Committing yourself voluntarily to a hospital is a good idea. As I said I'm no doctor but I feel your medications, if your being compliant with them, need to be changed. The best place for this to be done for you, given the fact that you are homeless, is in a hospital where the doctors can monitor your reaction to the drugs.

While you are there you will have clean clothes, a warm and clean place to sleep and good food. The doctors can also take the time to care for other medical needs you may have. For you voluntarily checking in to a hospital is a win/win situation. Remember in this manner you can leave if it gets too much for you at any time.

[view]


I am 25 years old and I wrote on here a couple of times about how my cousins husband is like my dad but to make a long story short my cousin and her husband are going through a divorce and I wrote on here if it would be okay to keep in contact with him but I decided to ask her first and so I asked her and she said she would prefer if I didn't keep in c ontact because g e would use me to find out info about her so I haven't talked to him but my problem now is that he keeps trying to call me and add me on fb and I have been ignoring him but he won't stop should I tell her or just keep ignoring him and stay out of it or should I text him and tell him to stop trying to contact me ? What should I do? I don't want her to think I am talking to him when I am not because I think he is the type of person wh o would try to make it look like I have when I have not. What should I do? Please help me. I don't want this to affect my relationship with my cousin because we are like sisters and I don't want him to ruin it.

Talk about a broken triangle this is certainly one of them. The three of you are all hurting because their marriage did not workout. While it is true she is family and blood is thicker than water. You and her ex-husband have formed a relationship that is important to you. A father figure I assume you need as your own father, for various reasons, may not be in the picture.

No one knows why the ex-husband is trying to contact you. It could be he knows you need the father figure he has been to you and does not want you to lose that just because he and your cousin have divorced. It also could be as your cousin feels it may be so he can keep tabs on her. You won't know this until you talk with him.

I believe you need to find out why he is contacting you before you decide what to do about it. You can call or write him and ask why. IF it is because he wants to continue to be that father figure he has been to you. Then if you want to continue that relationship with him I would say it is permissible with certain ground rules in place.

Those ground rules would be specific to your cousin and any questions he might have or you being a messenger between them. OF course family events are off limits to him as your cousin would most like be there.

If he is in agreement to those rules then I believe if you are comfortable with them as well you can give it a try. If at any time it becomes uncomfortable for you then you stop seeing him.

You do tell your cousin so she knows and why you are seeing him. Assure her you are not a conduit in any way between them and if he attempts to make you one you will stop seeing him. You tell her that you need him in your life and why and this does not change in anyway your feelings or support for her.

[view]


20/f

It happened recently that guys just come to me and expect comfort or try to get me and sleep with them (in which they don't succeed.) It's like no one even considers me a girlfriend option. It's either the guys that are crazy about girls who don't even deserve them or the ones who think I'm young and naive and will just surrender to them. I am not that pretty,but I have a strong character,I'm caring,I'm intelligent,and I also have many other qualities. It's just that I'm pretty much invisible. Is it me,or is just the world overcrowded with idiots?

The problem as I see it is that you are far more mature than guys your age are. This is something you should not do anything about as it is a problem that is as old as time. A 20 year old male from a maturity standpoint is the same as a teenage female between the ages of 16 and 18. They have not grown up yet, they are still boys. Whereas the females are ready, for the most part to nest, make a home, make a commitment and have a family by the time they are in there young or early twenties.

No not all twenty year old boys are this immature there are some who grow up faster than the others. You won't find these boys where the majority of young boys hangout, you will find them at places that take a commitment.

These are places volunteer fire departments, Auxiliary Police Officers, Civilians on Patrol Groups. These organizations require time and commitment to be members. They also separate the children from the men and women who join these groups quite quickly. Any group or organization that requires any type of commitment is where you will find boys of the maturity age equal to your own.

There is one thing you have to do for yourself. You have to stop believing you are "not that pretty." Beauty is only skin deep, it is wrapping on a package meant to attract. When you are looking for a life mate you have to look beyond the wrapping to the person underneath for this is the real person. Beauty and sex appeal will only take you so far, one day you wake up and find you need to talk to each other and you have nothing in common. This is when relationships fail.

By you feeling you're not pretty you will portray that to others that approach you. If you feel pretty then that is the image you will portray to others. If you feel you must do something to improve your appearance then do a makeover.

Go see a hair stylist and let him or her suggest a hair style to enhance the shape of your face. Let the salons cosmetologist suggest some makeup tips. Enhance your wardrobe from what is comfortable to what is more in style. You do not need designer labels to be in style. Remember nobody is going to see the label while you are wearing the cloths and when they come off if there is a him with you; the label is the last thing he is interested in.

IF the organizations I named are of no interest to you find others like them that require a commitment of time and energy. These are the places where you will find young men and women of your maturity age. Don't shy away from the women for they may have an older brother they would want to introduce you to.

[view]


The fact that you consider marital love all-inclusive while 'lust' isn't part of that equation, you are raising another question: Can marriages really be loving without sex? For some people, it's not. I'd like to amend my earlier statement in that case. I think that there comes a point when a person (or two people who are unfaithful to their spouses) must realize that they have fallen out of love and that the sex that is missing demonstrates it. Having said that, I don't think that extramarital affairs indicate sexual desire only. I believe that one must come to terms with the fact that monogamy is not for everyone, and it is possible to love two people. Why must one 'lose' and the other 'win'? The guilt that comes from affairs is self-imposed, and it's based on the illusion that we are evil for fulfilling our deepest desires at the so-called expense of another. I think that people should be honest about their love for one another, and if that means that a spouse retaliates by filing for divorce, then so be it.

I think you are trying to justify something to yourself in which case you are just deluding yourself. For you fail to take into consideration other factors of a marriage when sex is not possible.

What about a couple where one spouse is injured in an accident and unable say due to partial paralysis. What about a partner that is fighting an illness say breast cancer, should she be expected to do her wifely duties as it was once called? Do these type of things give the other partner license to have an affair?

In a loving marriage there is more to marriage than sex. In my advice to young couples I advise that before they start keeping house together they make sure they have more in common then a good sex life for one day they will wake up and need to communicate with each other.

If you wish to justify having an affair to yourself go right ahead but please do not ask us to approve of your justification for there are few among us who would. If your spouse is refusing to have sex with you there is a reason for it. Maybe your spouse has fallen out of love with you or in the case of a spouse being women she has entered menopause. If so sex may be painful for her or the estrogen she needs for a sex drive is low. If she has fallen out of love with you then you need to ask yourself why. If it is the other than you need to talk to her as doctors can help with both problems.

One thing is for sure when your spouses finds out and they will, you and your cheating partner will be headed for divorce. Not as retaliation but this is how people rectify the hurt done to them by cheating spouses.

[view]


Van I still get the money's in my deceased fathers bank accounts, benefits from the life insurance policies even though his Indiana estate has foreclose when I live
in California?

Not being familiar with the laws in Indiana or how your dad's bank account and Life Insurance policies was written. My advices be as always to consult the attorney who is assisting you in settling his estate.

That being said the word foreclosure generally is used pertaining to real property such as his home or any other real estate your dad may have owned that is now in default to the loan companies. Even this is subject to review if your dad was current with his payments until he took ill.

Here again you would need a lawyer to go to court with you to fight the bank or loan company for time to dispose of these assets and pay them off. Foreclosure is harder for them when the borrower is deceased. Unfortunately the banks take advantage of your sorrow and try to get the family to release the property to them in a foreclosure unknowing that the Estate is on the hook for any shortfall in the outstanding debt the bank doesn't recover. Again depending on the laws of Indiana who ever is the Executor of the Estate could be on the hook for the short fall.

Bank accounts and life insurance policies generally do not fall within the realm of what banks can attach as part of foreclosure. Please see an attorney before you lose what your dad tried to leave you.

[view]



humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker