The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.


I sent two packages via media mail (books) from LA to NYC on the same day, and the expected delivery date for both packages was Wednesday, Aug. 27. One package has been received, however the other one has not. Tracking information indicates that it left the Jersey City, NJ post office on Aug. 24, so it certainly should have arrived by now.

Is it common for media mail packages to arrive separately, or for there to be a delay in delivery (even though both were mailed out the same day)? Or does it seem one package was lost? I would hate for that to happen...

It is not as uncommon as you think. The same thing can happen even if you used FEDEX or UPS. It all depends on what happens in the first sort facility. The two packages can become separated going into two different shipping containers and on to two different trucks. One truck may have a more direct route to LA while the other truck may be broken down and resorted several times in route.

Check the tracking information again and see where USPS says the package is. If it is not delivered by Tuesday call USPS, the number should be on the tracking document, and have them search for your package. It does happen that a package falls off a conveyor and gets lost for a few days. Until it is missed and a search is requested it can remain lost.

I had a package lost on the receiving dock at the local FEDEX facility when it was taken off the truck as the truck was full. No one bothered to bring it back in and reschedule it for delivery. In other words you have to allow for the human factor as well. Your package might get misplaced but I'm sure it is not lost.


We just broke up barely 6 months ago. We were together for 9 months and recently started seeing each other again for a few months.after brake up. He never mentioned seeing anyone else at all. We were together last Wed. and he proposed to her on Saturday? He told me in the beginning of the relationship he was over her as she had left town to be with someone else.I confronted him about being engaged and he was really cruel and cold and nonchalant about it! I feel I'm going crazy because I feel it's wrong to sleep with someone you know has feelings for you, and then a few days later ask another person to marry you? He feels he did nothing wrong because he didn't promise me a relationship but he also didn't make it clearly that he wasn't interested in working things out either.

Fact is you got used by him. Yes it was cold of him to do so and I really can't explain why he would sleep with you one night and then 2 nights later propose to another woman. The only thing that makes sense is he slept with you to help him make up his mind and that is cold and you have every right to be mad.

Women are not the only ones to be used in this manner. I had a similar situation with a woman I was dating. We were out on a date, had a nice diner and as I was paying the check she said to me. "I have something to tell you." "I'm engaged, it happened last night and I didn't want to break our date and tell you over the phone." Well that was nice but I'm out $80 plus for a nice diner. To add insult to injury she then reaches into her purse and takes out the engagement ring to show me and slip it on her finger.

It is hard to say if either of us learned anything from this. I met and married a very nice woman and we have one son. We just celebrated our 43 wedding anniversary last month. For my part I had just returned from 18 months in South East Asia and was somewhat shy around round eyed women. The woman I married help bring me out of that shell. The woman who took me for a last dinner never really got close to me.

What did we learn from these experiences? I could have been scarred for life had I not met my wife. During my 18 months in South East Asia it was during the Vietnam conflict and you soon learned not to trust the women. Then I came home and I'm hurt by a round eyed woman who I thought were trust worthy.

You put your trust in an ex-boyfriend who you thought wanted to work things out. You thought she was out of the picture. Ex's come back for two reasons. They have struck out with the new love of their life or they want to compare you to the other, most of the time.

Before you give your heart away and take a man to your bed make him earn it. Make sure he is not looking at you as just another notch on his belt or roll in the hay; your worth more than that. The two most important things in life are respect and trust. Both of these have to be earned. A certain amount of trust comes with agreeing to date him. That trust does not earn him the privilege of sleeping with you. That has to be earned by earning your respect and further trust.


So, I recently graduated in December with my bachelors in education. I never really wanted to pursue teaching. I wanted to go into either counseling or administration. But, I needed to make ends meet with the degree I had and I had to take on this assistant teaching job. Mind you, I did not sign a contract for the year. I signed a payment contract (that said how much I would get paid for the year) and then I signed a paper about upholding the school's standards. I have worked in schools before. But, this by far is one of the most exhausting jobs I have ever had. I get there at 8am (not too early), but, those of you who are teachers know that unlike other jobs, you don't really ease into your mornings. You have to go right away. Lunch is from 11-11:20, but we eat with the kids. I don't have a break all day. Since I'm an "assistant," I have to travel with the kids to each and every class. At lunch, I find myself scarfing down my food because I need to take people to the bathroom, get water, etc. The special area teachers expect me to do the majority of the work. Most of them don't do anything. They think the whole day is a vacation. I have them all day. I don't mind staying in the class while they are in art/spanish/science.... but, do I really have to manage their behavior? It is truly exhausting. Every time that children misbehave, it is your fault. If you happen to just have a rowdy one in your class, be prepared for all of the blame to go on you. I come home SO exhausted. I haven't washed my hair in days because of how tired I am when I get home. I can't even enjoy my life after 4:00 because of how tired I am. I don't mean to sound like a whiner.I know that no job is easy. I've been working since I was 16. My first job was at a nursery. Since then, I've worked in an office setting (throughout college) and then an after-care program. This is the worse and most tiring job that I have ever had in my life. I'm not saying that teaching is like this in any other school. I really don't know. It might be. But, this experience in particular is just the worse. This job is just pure torture. It is also a very small school and with such a small faculty, they have people doing extra things. It's just too much. This is not for me. Out of all the jobs I have had, I have enjoyed the office setting the most. Yes, there were days when I was tired. Yes, there were days when we had a ton of work and I was stressed. But, it was nothing like this. I was able to sit and eat lunch (even on those heavy duty days) and believe it or not, 20 minutes of quiet time at lunch (watching netflix, reading a book) made a HUGE difference. I went back to my work a different person. I come back more tired from lunch than the way I came in now! At the same time, the work is also boring and not challenging... just exhausting. All I do is grading and classroom management. Managing a group of kindergarteners for 7 hours a day is extremely difficult. It's strenuous on the body but not challenging to the mind. I use to have hobbies. I use to come home from work and write, read, exercise, cook! Now, I don't even have dinner because I'd rather just go to sleep. Even though I would leave work an hour later, I still had the physical energy to do all the things I loved.

Now... it is wonderful that I didn't sign a contract obligating me to stay. But, I would feel horrible just quitting out of the blue. It's not like anyone has been mean to me or that the people are difficult. The people are beyond nice, the children are great, etc. Plus, we JUST started school. But, this is already affecting my health. I'm willing to send out some applications to institutions that may take a while to respond (like hospitals, universities, etc.) Bigger places. Because that gives me some more time. It's not like I'm thinking of starting at a new job tomorrow (although I wish I could). But, you know what I mean! :). In the event that I would get offered a job elsewhere and I would be making more money and have a more positive health change (right now my salary is $21,000 a year), what can I say? I can't just quit by absence because the people have been very nice to me or quit unexpectedly. When I was in college, I tried retail and 1 week into working, one of the shift managers asked me if I was stupid because she wanted me to walk into a dressing room with a customer and I said I wasn't comfortable). I quit unexpectedly at that moment. They begged for my forgiveness and asked me to come back... but the university had offered me a job as part of a scholarship. But... those people were rude. It wasn't like I didn't like the job or whatever... but, I was disrespected and that was reason enough to quit. But, here, I don't really have a reason to quit other than I don't like the job. I"m not bound to the job because they could find someone else to replace me. I'm just an assistant. But, how can I break the news nicely in the event that I do find another job?

Thank you for reading this far!!

Be honest with yourself and be honest with the school. Tell them the job just isn't you. Your overburdened, which is causing you to be overstressed. This is not a good work environment for you or for the children you must supervise.

Should they ask you what you mean tell them. You were hired to assist the teachers, not be the teachers which is what you find yourself doing. You're on your feet for the entire 7 hour day without a break. If anything goes wrong you get the blame. This is a lot to ask of you for the measly compensation you are given.

All that is required of you at this point is to offer them two weeks notice of your intentions to leave. Two weeks notice is not a legal requirement it is a courtesy requirement that should be offered and complied with as at the very least you want a good reference from them in the future. Leaving without notice generally does not get you a good reference.


Hi. Ok so this question will have a lot of TMI so just be prepared. Ok so about 2 months ago my periods starting going whacko. It came a week early and then it has been every 2 weeks since. This is by no means normal for me. I started my period way early. I had just turned 10 which I heard can cause problems later on. Well I have a continuous pain in my lower abdomen and have unexplained weight gain. I have been pregnant 3 times and two made it. So I know when something is off. I have taken multiple pregnancy tests they all say negative. I don't feel pregnant I feel sick. Very sick. Like I'm falling apart. All my energy is gone. Every few days I seem to either begin to feel worse or I develop a new symptom. Well a week ago the pain began to get worse. Me and my husband had sex and it was uncomfortable it felt as though there was something inside me he kept bumping. Only on the right side though. And I'd get a small twinge of pain every time. My stomach looks swollen on the right side. 4 days ago I developed diarrhea. And for the people who are gonna scream go to the Dr I have an appointment but it's three days from now. I want an idea of what's going on so I can know what to bring up and ask to be tested for. My family has a history of cancer. Uhm yeah. I guess that's about it in a nutshell. Does anybody have any suggestions on what could be wrong with me?? Thanks in advance.

First the Disclaimer: We are not doctors and we cannot make medical diagnoses or give medical advice.

Ask your doctor about the possibility that you are suffering from Endometriosis? My friend’s wife suffered from this and her symptoms where much like yours. Note: Just because your symptoms are similar does not mean you have the same illness but is good reason to question your doctor about this problem. This is a gynecological problem and you should be seeing a GYN for diagnoses and treatment.

What is Endometriosis? (From the Web)
Endometriosis is the abnormal growth of cells endometrial cells) similar to those that form the inside or lining the tissue of the uterus, but in a location outside of the uterus. Endometrial cells are cells that are shed each month during menstruation. The cells of endometriosis attach themselves to tissue outside the uterus and are called endometriosis implants. These implants are most commonly found on the ovaries, the Fallopian tubes, outer surfaces of the uterus or intestines, and on the surface lining of the pelvic cavity. They can also be found in the vagina, cervix, and bladder, although less commonly than other locations in the pelvis. Rarely, endometriosis implants can occur outside the pelvis, on the liver, in old surgery scars, and even in or around the lung or brain. Endometrial implants, while they can cause problems, are benign (not cancerous).

I also agree with one of the other advisors that part of the problem could be your gallbladder though this does not explain the change in your periods.

If you are in such pain that on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst pain you have ever felt. If the pain is above 7 I would suggest not waiting 3 days but going to a hospital ER today now if possible. If you cannot get there on your own then call 911. This is the purpose of the 911 service to care for and transport people who are too sick to take themselves to a doctor or hospital. If you are in that much pain you deserve and qualify for the services of the 911 system


My brother in law had a heart attack, we have been doing his share of the work in our business for nearly a year. He isnt well enough to probably ever work, but he wants his income to continue so he wants us to keep doing his work. He has been careless in every aspect of his life, has substantial debt, and lives a lifestyle that will eventually kill him. How do we shake him loose? My husband is exhausted from all the extra work, I am frustrated and want to leave, my son feels like a slave. All we do is fight over this, we need him to stop being a burden to us.

You said OUR business. By this do you mean a family business that he is part owner of; or is it you and your husbands business that he is employed by you and your husband. This is important for legal reasons.

If your brother in-law is part owner of the business then you need to consult a lawyer to have the Corporation papers or partnership papers reviews to see if they cover such a situation. If so then you just need follow the bylaws of the Corporation or Partnership agreement.

If there is no clause covering such a contingency then I would thing the lawyer would suggest you have the business evaluated by an independent CPA firm, probably one the lawyers office works with. To evaluate the worth of the business. Once you have a certified evaluation of the business you and the lawyer can make an offer to buy out your brother in-laws share of the business. He can accept, reject or make a counteroffer.

Your brother in-law might just flat refuse to sell his share. That's fine, you the ask the lawyer if there is anything that requires you to continue his salary. You see as a shareholder all he probably is entitled to is a return on his investment based on the shares of the business he holds. This would be based on the profits at the end of the business year. Which you would send him a check for after the accountants have closed the books for the year. Of course having the books certified each year is a business expense that comes before profit so this would lower the profits reported at year end.

Having only to pay your brother in-law his due profit, if any at year end would allow you to stop paying his salary and hire someone to do his work.

Everything depends on how the paperwork for the business is written. If there is no formal agreement then the most you may owe him is a return of any money he invested plus interest. This is why you need to see a lawyer and find out exactly where you stand legally.

Since this is family what I suggest is you have your brother in-law apply for social security disability. Once he is approved you then can stop his salary.


OK, my life sucks. My mother hates me and is doing drugs, my dad keeps molesting me and I can't feel emotions or make friends. Now how the fuck do I commit suicide.

The answer is not suicide, the answer is to get help. There is help and it is as close as you phone or a trusted teacher at school or the school principal.

The biggest and worst problem is your father molesting you. That stops now, today. You either talk with a trusted teacher or the school principal and tell them what your father is doing to you. I understand it will be embarrassing. Understand you need to do this if you want the molestation to stop.

Sure killing yourself will stop the molestation who suffers buy you doing so? Not the person molesting you; not the person who is breaking the law. Why should you make the ultimate sacrifice when you have already suffered enough? The law is on your side, let your dad suffer for once in his life. Whatever threats he may have made are just that threats which the police will protect you from.

Please either pick up a phone and dial 9111, go to the closest police or fire station and ask for protection as these are safe havens for women and children or talk to a teacher or your school principal.

You deserve a better life than what you have and you will get one if you do as I say. Once you have reported the most serious problem Children' Services will have to evaluate your mother as a proper provider for your well being. As a drug addict she can not be one. Children's services will then look to other relatives to take you in. Your grandparents if living would be the first people they would turn to

I would also like you to call a group called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. Their number is -800-656-Hope.

Please do as I ask; there is no reason for you to suffer any longer or make the ultimate sacrifice. You are the victim here and you have resources with which to fight back. Lets use these resources to make them feel the pain you have been feeling.


Hello ladies and gents, my question is really lame and still i am so very nervous about not being able to solve it on my own. So any opinion is much much appreciated.
I studied fine arts, fashion design in college and i want to have a master's degree, for that i've applied for an arabian airlines called 'emirates' as a stewardess. The plan wasto work there for say, three years and save up for my masters.
But then, a nice job offer came to me from a well known fashion designer, it doesn't pay well and the hours are terrible, the job itself is very demanding and it is more like being an assistand instead of actually getting to design anything. Basically being around taking notes and making phone calls and tending to clients. Yeah.

So now i cannot decide. The first job has nothing to do with my career whatsoever , i'll have to move to dubai, it will just be an interesting thing i've done when i was young, and help me save money because it pays better. It will allow me to actually have a masters degree in europe. But as i was saying, it's irrelevant and i will be doing it for years.
The second job is a well known fashion brand so it's related, it will look nice in my cv, it is very low pay and very demanding. If i do this, i won't be getting my masters because i'll be working in my own field now, and i'll be needed in my own country.
I have no idea what to do, i cannot decide whether take the fashion job and develop a career out of it step by step, or go save money as a stewardess and have my masters in europe. I made pros and cons lists, i've asked friends and family, i just can't decide.
Please, please please share your opinion with me.
I only have till thursday...

Thanks in advance :)

In many careers the first jobs start out as gofers and slugs as we were called. You start out this way for even with a Masters Degree you have the book learning but no practical experience.

Now if you look at this job as just being a gopher then all it will ever be is being a gofer and it will read that way on your resume. On the other hand if you take the gofer job and make yourself indispensable, meaning going above and beyond the call of being a gofer. Asking people to teach you; by keeping your eyes and ears open and mouth closed. You may find that someone will take you under their wing and start to teach you how to take what you have learned so far and turn it into real experience. This happens quite often to interns and gofers when they make themselves indispensable. It happens in each and every career field. If you truly want or need a Masters degree for this career field you can always go after it later once you have moved above the gopher stage and are more established.

I also have to admit the job of a flight attendant looks very appealing. I will tell you this flight attendant get paid from the time the plane pulls away from the gate till the wheel touch the ground again. Their expenses such as hotel and food are paid on layovers and yes you will see the world. As a new flight attendant you will start out as a reserve flight attendant meaning sitting by the phone waiting to be called. You will get some pay for this but generally speaking it is not the same as you would be paid for flying.

Emirates is the fastest growing Airline in the Middle East with plans for fleets of plane consisting of the Airbus A380 which seats almost 500 passengers on two decks. They have 50 of these planes now and 140 more on order. They also have Boeing 85 of 777-300's, with 50 of these still to be delivered and 150 Boeing 777X on order. These are all large passenger aircraft capable of carrying between 300 and 400 passengers.

These are all long haul aircraft capable of upwards of 15 hours or more. While the travel is glamorous the work is hard and passengers are demanding. Emirates demands a lot of the cabin staff to care for the passengers on these flights. There will be two meals served in each cabin plus drink and snack serves. You will be on your feet for most of those 15 hours. Yes there is a crew rest area built into the tail of the aircraft but a 3 or 4 hour break is about all you can expect. Then there is the constant jet lag.

I realize the glamor of the Emirate job is very appealing as is the travel to many foreign lands is hard to pass up. You also must be very beautiful as Emirates hires as much for beauty as they do for intelligence.

My advice is to allow you intellect rule and take the job in your chosen career field. If you want your Masters degree bad enough you will find a way to get it.


The preachers wife is having her first baby its a girl and the baby shower is this sunday and I have no idea what to get her she's 24 around my age if that helps I am 25. Does any bidy have any ideas

New mothers need everything. Ask the person giving the shower if the mom to be is registered anywhere. Many baby boutiques have online registries for new moms. If so then you can pick something you can afford off the registry or chip in with others for a more expensive gift that she and Pastor may not be able to afford themselves. Maybe a baby carriage or car seat, which in every state is a must have just to bring the baby home in.

Note: If buying a car seat do not buy one second hand. In most states it is illegal to sell them second hand as you cannot tell if the seat has been made unsafe in an accident.

As a last resort you can always ask the mother to be what she may need for the baby. As the Preachers wife I'm sure she will be expecting that the congregation will be arranging a baby shower so you won't be giving away any surprise by asking. The surprise will be the when of the event not the event itself.


ok so my best friend is 15 and i'm 13. we have been best friends for 5 years and we have helped each other through everything. we know everything about each other and have great trust. I know he really likes me and I really like him. He has asked me out twice but ive said no cause ive got scared. I don't know if the age difference is to much or if I should go for it. I don't like anyone else and its not like im desperate and NEED a boyfriend but I really like him. we are both still virgins and he doesn't ever really show that he would pressure me into anything just a typical teenage boy but I trust him. what should I do?

IF you were my daughter and you want to date him in the true definition of dating; my answer would be no you should not and cannot date him as you are too young. Now in today's world you young people have a different definition for dating than we did. If you mean by dating that He walks you to school, you hang out together with friends at school and when you are together as a group. This would be okay with me.

While a 2 year difference in age is no big deal down the road when you are older; right now the age difference is equivalent to spanning the Grand Canyon. He is two years more mature than you, has a lot more experience with dating then you have and experience you need to gain by going through the process he has already been through. For a girl this process is a little more restrictive than for boys for the obvious reason and is also why you should not skip this step and jump into dating older boy.

I believe you know in your heart that dating a 15 year old is not right and your parents if they knew or found out would object. This is the reason you are writing us. My suggestion is you sit down with mom and talk with her about dating. A good way to do this is to ask mom for some you and mom time, maybe a trip to the mall together for shopping or just lunch out someplace. Tell mom you need some girl talk time. When you are together simply tell her boys are asking for dates and you don't know what to say or do. Then sit and listen to mom.

You may not like the answers, just remember this. You are the minor and like it or not you must live by their rules. Mom and dad will lighten up on some of the rules for dating when they learn they can trust your judgment. This trust is something all children have to earn, it does not come with the territory of being their daughter or son.

Listen to what mom says, ask questions but the responsible thing, the trustworthy thing to do is not to argue or start screaming she is being unfair. You can ask if there will be exceptions to any rule you fine unjust. Then go from their. This is how you will build trust with mom and dad and earn the right to date somewhat as you please sooner rather than later.


Ok, so my step-sister gave me a doorknob (we are both 13) and she asked me to do more to her feet and fuck her. I really don't know what to do right now because she already knows I liked the doorknob she gave me. Please help.

I'm not understanding the doorknob thing but that's okay. Sex with a step-sibling is okay as you two are not related by blood.

What is not okay is two 13 year old step-siblings or any other 13 year olds engaging in sexual intercourse. You are both far too young to be doing this kind of sex. I'm not even sure mutual masturbation is right at your age.

You two have plenty of time to explore the world of sex. I understand you have sexual urges and that you may believe it is safer to have sex between you than with others your age. It is not safer. Even with condom use pregnancy is still a concern as a condom, when worn correctly, are only 80% effective in preventing pregnancy. Sex between you may be safe as far as STDS and HIV/AIDS but it does not limit the problem of pregnancy and she is too young to get birth control pills.

What you should be doing at this age is exploring your sexuality through masturbation and fantasy. Contrary to what many parents tell their kids there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is healthy, it is safe and most of all it relieves the sexual tension you are feeling which is brought on by puberty.

According to a recent survey 85% of the population from the age of puberty and older masturbate. Your parents most likely masturbate. They do so when the have sex which is called mutual masturbation. Hand jobs, fingering and oral sex all come under the heading of masturbation. Anything that would lead to a climax or a climax for either partner would come under the heading of masturbating or mutual masturbation. Masturbation is not a sin. Most religions do not condone it, just as parent don't but it is not sinful. Not even the Catholic church finds it sinful.

My advice is that in a few years, hopefully 4 or more, if you and your step sister still want to have sex, this would not be incest and nothing illegal or sinful about it. Until then you two should stick to masturbation or at worst mutual masturbation for sexual relief. The sexual tension you feel is normal as this is caused by hormones brought out by puberty. Masturbation would be normal and as I said it is healthy. Sexual intercourse at your age is not normal and it is dangerous.


I would like to have her old guy friend to move out of the way so I can start. Rebuilding my relationship back as soon as possible with out beating him or with out getting her mad need to do in a few days or weeks and not come back /or for a while

Not sure what you are asking here. If you are asking how to get the boyfriend to move on you have not given enough information to advise you on. We need more information as to what is going on with him and her as to the status of their present relationship? How she may feel about him? What caused you two to break up? What the status of your relationship with her is? As well as any other relevant information you have to offer.


So most of the time I hang out with my freinds the subject of who would you have sex with comes up. My freinds usaly have a mental numbered list of who they want to have sex with and are shock when I reveal to them that I dont really think about that to much. Also they dont want a relationship with the people they want to have sex with. They just want to bang them and move to then next one and I feel like that thats messed up and it kinds makes me mad when they talk about girls like that. When I think of some one I care about I think of how we would spend time together or how I can make them feel like they are special to me. Dose that make me strange?

No you are not strange, you are more sensitive and more mature than your friends. Sex is not a game to see how many points you can score. Sex with the right person at the right time is a way of sharing your feelings for that person.

Yes you can have sex at anytime and it be meaningless. Just away to rid yourself of sexual tension. You will receive the same amount of pleasure from it as if you masturbated. Sex with a person you have feelings for, someone you feel you may want to share your life with. That sex is far more pleasurable than empty sex.

Look at in this way. Sex just to rid yourself of sexual energy is the same as having a salad for lunch. Just empty calories to ward off hunger. Sex with someone you have real feelings for is like having a steak sandwich for lunch; far more fulfilling.

You my friend are looking at sex from the standpoint of the steak sandwich. This makes you standout from the crowd. Once a girl or girls learn this about you. That you are not the type to be all hands you will have no trouble dating and if you have true feelings for her and things move towards having sex. You have a better chance of actually getting sexual intercourse from your girl.

Most of those guys who are running off at the mouth right now. IF they are lucky a girl might give them a hand job just to shut them up. If they are really lucky they might get a blow job. You are too young to know this but former President Clinton once said a blow job isn't sex.

Your buds are blowhards that will learn the hard way. stick to your principals and you will do fine in every aspect of life including sex.


I want to have sex but I don't want to get pregnant. I'm only 13 almost 14. If there is anyone that will do this with me secretly please do. Parents cannot find out.

Young lady time for some grandfatherly advice. Since I am old enough to be your grandfather I am going to offer some to you.

First: We are not a dating sight. We answer questions people might have based on our wisdom, age and life experiences.

Second: You are way too young to be having or looking to have sex. The problem you have is your horny and that is understandable. You have entered puberty. You have a host of new hormones, hence the word horny, floating through you. You have an extreme amount of sexual energy that needs release.

As adults, parents and grandparents we know this, we have been there. What we tell you is DON'T HAVE SEX YOU'RE TOO YOUNG. This is correct but we also don't tell you or tell you not to do what is safe to do to discharge this sexual energy. (More on this in bit.)

Third: Sex at your age is not only wrong it could be harmful. Yes your body may have the womanly curves and breast. Your vagina, your sexual organ though is still that of a child. It has probably not received the hormones that unlock the muscles which allow your vagina to expand and accept a penis.

IF you were to have sex with a boy with a large penis who forces himself into you. He could tear those muscles and you will never have good comfortable sex later in life. This is what is so horrible with child rapists besides the fact it is just plain sick. When you are older the hormones will be released and sex will be more comfortable, even the first time.

Fourth: Right now at 13 you cannot legally buy condoms or any type of birth control. When you're older you can. It is very important not just for birth control but to prevent most STDS and the HIV/Aids virus that a condom always be used. How are you going to prevent pregnancy if you are not old enough to by even a condom?

Masturbation: Masturbation, fingering yourself is the safest way to experience sexual relief for someone your age. You do so in the privacy of your bedroom or your evening bath or morning shower. Masturbation is safe and it is just as pleasurable as intercourse when done properly.

For reasons I do not understand parents tell children not to masturbate. Yet in a recent survey 85 of the population, teenage to adult masturbate. Masturbation is not a sin. Even the Catholic church does not consider it a sin. It is not condone, most religions do not condone it, though there is no reference in any Bible to condone, not condone or make it a sin.

My advice is not to go looking for sex, you're too young. Masturbate instead.


I work in a good company and recently, i found out that my ex boyfriend who I had a bad break up with sent his resume to the company as well, actually someone in the company who is also his friend brought the resume..He came for the interview and he practically got it, until i told the human resource manager that i couldn't work with him, so she spoke with the manager about it and they didn't give him the job. now i feel so bad that i caused it bcos he feels i had something to do with it, and also the friend, but i was trying to protect myself and avoiding any clash or past memories while seeing him... i don't know what to do.....

You did the right thing. You advised Human Resources that you and their potential new hire had bad feelings between you. You as a known value are more valuable to an employer than a new hire would be. There probably were several choices for the position. By advising Human Resources of a potential conflict between you two you allowed them decide who was more valuable to them, you or the new hire and allowed them to avoid any conflicts that could arise and disrupt the workflow.

As for the ex he had to know where you worked if you held this job while you two were dating. If he did he had to know that there was a possibility you would object on grounds he would cause a disruption in the workplace for you. He had no guarantees in getting the job and if he was the one who caused the break between you then he had to expect this could happen.

I would not feel all that bad for him. If your company was willing to hire him; I'm sure there are other companies out there who will also offer him a position. You did the right thing in protecting your company and yourself from conflicts in the workplace. In doing so you also showed yourself how valuable you are to your employer.


I dont wanna hear about how selfish i am, or how I shouldnt do this bla bla. I dont want to be here anymore. I'm not going anywhere. I have no future. I have been depressed for years. Ive tried everything. The little family that I have hates me, I've been bullied my whole life, I was diagnosed with psychosis a year ago. I'm homeless now. I don't want to be here anymore. I feel like a burden and it would be easier for everyone if I died. Sometimes I wish I could just die in a fast car accident

You are aware that we do not help people die. What we do is help people live. I know you live in Texas. What I am not sure of his how old you are. I think you are somewhere in your late teens to early twenties.

In Texas is you go to www.WelfareInfo.org you will find listings for welfare help by city. These listings will include housing and mental health. If you want help it is there all you have to do is ask for it. If you are a minor you can go to any fire or police station and ask for help. If you're an adult over 18 you just need to go to the welfare office and apply for help.

In the case of illness,, even mental illness, such as hearing voices, or cutting or thinking of suicide. Go to the nearest hospital emergency room. Tell the admitting nurse what is bothering you and why you have come there. They must treat you, that is a matter of law regardless of your ability to pay.

Not everyone hates you. I certainly don't hate you. I have answered a number of your questions. The others hear don't hate you. We want you to live and we are here to help in any way we can. Suicide is permanent and it is very painful regardless of what method you chose. You will be missed even by the family you say hates you.

You are depressed that is obvious. When depressed, I know from experience our perception is off, we do not see things exactly as we are. You say your family hates you, okay you perceive this so it is real. But have they fallen out of love with you. That rarely happens with family members. They may not like who you are right now in your depressed state. They may even hate you, BUT they still love you that I am 99.99% positive of.


According to chain messages, I should've died millions of times, gotten injured, heard laughing in my bathroom, an old lady throw her 10 cats at me in my backyard, turkey shoved up my butt, world war 3 released on my chest, my kids killed (I don't have kids soooo), have a ghost girl screwing with me every night, have seen a little dead girl in my room twice, been thrown down a sewer, my mom dead (she's cooking dinner in the kitchen right now I'm 11), and a clown who turned into the devil because he had sex "eat your penus and your vagina 2! (Oh I knew I had a vagina but I didn't know I also have a penus! And if sex turns you into the devil we should have a lot of devils), and my computer should be on fire and other really weird and disturbing stuff. The chain letters I recieved were hilarious and not true. Seriously, some vortex enters my computer whenever I recieve some story made by a random troll that finds out my location at every second, knows about my emails and if I forward them in said time and if I don't that force will create said punishment to happen to me? Bull shit.

I can't give you a factual answer to your question. In fact I don't think there is a factual answer to it.

What I believe is that we all like to believe that there is some mystical force at work. The chain letters provide a way to manipulate that mystical force. As young person you receive the less sophisticated scary chain letters. Adults receive the more whimsical and the ones promising great fortunes if you don't break the chain.

I would say the great majority of us understand their is no mystical force out there but continue the chain just incase we missed something. There are other who are quite superstitious and these chain letters play into those superstitions.

At one time I received a great many chain letters. I forwarded maybe one in ten. I guess that wasn't enough for those that sent them to me as for the most part they have stopped sending them. I would suggest if you don't want to receive them you can either block the sender, send them back asking them not to send them or just delete them when received.


Okay , so I really really really like this guy who is 17. I'm 14 . He turns 18 & 3 months later I turn 15. I've already talked to my parents about it, and they litterally have no problem with it ( I was so surprised ) but his mom does a little bit. She just doesnt want him to get in trouble.. I live in NC. I just want to know the laws of dating a minor. He's like the other half of me, we are like Bestfriends. & we've already had the talk about sex and stuff. There's none of that until the time & age is right.. He told me he would never make me do anything i wouldn't want to do. I trust him and we are happy. We don't date yet though, I just don't know what to do. Is the age difference bad? Would people look at us weird? should i care what people think? ): I'll love to hear all your advice and opinions (: .

His mother has every right to be worried. The age of consent in NC is 16, you are 14 and he is 17. The 3 year age difference is where the problem comes in as long as you remain under age 16 he can get in trouble under a number of different laws. If there was les than a 3 year difference in age NC has within its laws a "Close in age exception." Unfortunately you two fall just outside the exception.

Given the 3 year age difference sex does not have to take place, it can be assumed. As such a charge such as statutory rape can be brought against the boy just for dating you. Given that your parents approve of the dating the chances of this charge making it to court are probably low. Someone though would have to report you two as dating or a cop would have to find you two in a lovers lane situation and bring the charge. This does not happen very often but it does happen. this is what his mom is worried about.

To be honest this is probably just a high school thing for both of you. He is going to be going of to college next year and probably find some one else. My suggestion is it is in his best interest that he listen to his mother and you to cool it for a year. Next year when your 16 if you two are still interested in one another go for it.



20/f I was admitted into a partial care program after OD'ing in an attempt to kill myself. It's been a few days into the program, a little more than a week since the attempt has been made.

Right now I'm in a bit of a bubble, so to speak. I haven't been out with friends, I'm not going to work, really the only communication I have at the moment is through Facebook. Our family has moved around quite frequently, but I've kept a lot of my friends through FB, and we talk frequently. Anyhow, what I'm torn about is whether or not I should post a "life update" status, if you will, and inform everyone of what's going on, why I'm so quiet and cooped up lately.

I guess what I'm concerned about is whether or not it's appropriate. I planned on making it a "friends only" status, but of course there are many acquaintances I have as FB friends as well. But I want to be honest for once, I'm sick of hiding how I feel or what I'm going through, I've been doing that for over 5 years, and look where it got me. Everyone knows me as the cheerful one, the one they can depend on. Right now I need to be able to be myself, and have support. I feel like continuing to hide and keep everything hushhush is a bad way to do that.

I don't know, I'm torn on whether or not it's a good idea to post about it. Any thoughts/opinions please?

When I finally admitted to myself that I suffered from depression and needed help. I decided to do as my brother in-law who is a recovering alcoholic does in his aa program. I chose to follow some of the steps in their 12 step program that applied to me and my illness.

One of those steps is being truthful to yourself and others. Not everyone is going to be supportive or understanding of what your going through. The ones that do understand will be supporting of you. The ones that don't understand or you somehow hurt while being depressed will not be supporting and may even say some hurtful things to you.

These are these are the people that concern me at the moment. Do you feel being only a few days into your program that you are strong enough to take whatever criticism or accept any hurtful things that might be said back to you. I know that it took me months to get to this point in my therapy before I was strong enough to take the bad with the good.

While I agree with you 100% that this is something you should do I would suggest you first talk this over with your therapist. See how the therapist feels about you doing so at this point in your recovery. Trust your therapist, he or she has only your best interest at heart.

You and I didn't get as far depressed as we did overnight. I didn't recover overnight and neither will you. I recovered and so will you if you do the work asked of you to recover.

Recovery takes time and it takes work. Trust your therapist and the therapist will tell you when you can do this and some other things you may want to do such as start to date again. When you reach that point you will be well on your way to a full recovery.

I didn't quite fall as far as you but it was close. I'm always here and I have a big shoulder if you want to talk you can always send me private messages.


I turned 18 a couple months ago and my parents have decided to kick me out and remove all my financial support. They said that they’ve covered my ass as long as they should have to and it’s time I learned how to be a part of the real world. What do I do? I have no friends, no relatives that I can live with at all. It seems impossible to get a full-time job with no references or work experience. I’ve submitted my resume to too many supermarkets, retail stores and frozen yogurt parlors to count over the summer and I was only been able to get 6 interviews for part-time work. And I didn’t get hired from any of them. It seems impossible to get a full-time job with no references or work experience. I can’t join the military either, it wouldn’t be a compatible job for me at all. They’d send me packing within a week. How can I go to college if I can’t even get money to live on?

Unfortunately your parents are right; they are no longer legally required to care for you.

I would remind them that this legality works both ways. That right now they are able to care for themselves and that while they may be one of the lucky ones able to retire now; nothing saps a retirement savings like an illness. Then they are going to want you to care for them. There is nothing legally requiring you to do so. No court can order you to do so.

Just because the law says you're an adult does not make you one not today. You need to go to college and get a better education. A high school diploma won't even get you a job right now flipping hamburgers for the people with the college degrees are taking those jobs as the once better jobs they would get have not yet returned to the economy.

I don't know how a parent can do this to a child it is certainly not something I even considered with mine. Yea I would joke with them about it but it was never more than a joke and my sons comeback always has been to remember he will be the one choosing my nursing home.

You need to explain the facts of life to our parents as I laid them out above. Todays world is nothing like the world they entered at 18. You would be eligible for welfare assistance. In some states given that your parents are capable of helping you the welfare you receive would be charged back to them. If need be their social security income could be attached.

Remind dad his retirement income is still taxable and you are still a deduction if living at home and going to school. Even if you are away at school if more than 50% of your support comes from him you are still a deduction plus he can deduct whatever he pay for school.

Explain to mom and dad that just because you are legally an adult there is still a financial upside to you remaining under his roof while you go to school. It may be too late for to apply for a 4 year school starting in September but you can enroll in your local community college fro the next two years and get the basics done then switch and complete your degree at the college of your choice.


I'm a 15 year old girl and I feel like I don't eat enough food. When I eat, I eat healthy non-processed food (my mom has a fruit and veggie garden) it's just that my portions are so small. I usually skip breakfast so I can make my bus that comes at 6:30 (I don't want to get up any earlier than I already do to get breakfast, so I don't). Then around lunch time I'm not really hungry so I'll have some carrot sticks and maybe a sandwich. Then when I get home my mom makes me eat dinner, but I sort of have a loss of appetite sometimes and only have about half of my plate. Part of the problem could be that I drink a lot of water and it sort if suppresses the urge to eat. And most of my time after school is spent on homework (all of the teachers say "this worksheet will only take half an hour", but if we have half an hour of homework in all of our classes.....) for the record, I'm not anorexic, I love my body. How to I get a better appetite and how can my habits effect me in the future?

A calorie intake of between 200 and 1000 calories is way to low How many calories do you actually need depends on how active you are. The more active you are the more calories you need. The minimum average daily intake of calories for someone in your age group who is not overweight should be around 1,800 a day.

Your diet is already affecting how you get through the day. It will show in your school work and how long it takes you to do things such as homework. If you do not take in enough calories you become lethargic. You do not process information correctly. You end up constantly rereading things.

With an 1,800 calorie diet you can split the calories evenly over 3 meals or split them in a manor that gives you the most calories during the day, breakfast and lunch when you need them and the least at dinner when you are more relaxed. Most import though is to eat a good breakfast, followed by a good lunch and dinner.

A quick breakfast of a protein shake such as Ensure is 250 calories, a lunch purchased at school, in our schools average around 600 to 700 calories a day. This would leave 950 for dinner which you could have at dinner or have less and leave some calories over for an after dinner snack while doing homework.

It is important to eat and take in the proper calories for your activity level. If you don't you will get sick just as if you were anorexic for you are doing to your body the same thing that anorexic do just slower.


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