Hi! I'm a transgender teen (female to make) I haven't come out or anything yet but I know I'll have to. I asked another question in regards to coming out a few days ago, but this is a whole different topic. I'll obvioudly have to pick a name when I transition. I've been considering Gabe, Ben, and Lance. But I feel SO guilty changing my name because my mother always talks about how ever since she was little she's always wanted a girl named Laura Grace and that's why she gave me, her firstborn daughter, that name. She always talks about how I "have the best name out of the bunch" ("the bunch" being my 5 other siblings). She's so proud of my name because it's a mix of her favorite boom character (Laura) and the grandmother who she always looked up to (Grace). She loves my name. Everytime I consider bringing up the subject of being caked something else, I feel a crushing guilt about how much my mother loves my name. How do I change my name in the future without crushing her? She has no idea that Im transgender and im afraid to take her daughter away.

I may have answered your last question. If I did I gave you some resources to call for help with your problem. These resources are still good for todays question and what I am about to ask you.

In your last question you mention you are 14 which puts you in the early stages of puberty and sexual awareness. Transgender is todays hot button of sexuality but it is not something you wake up one morning and say you are. Just lie being Gay or Lesbian being transgender is how you were born and you would have known this a long time ago.

You may not have known the word when you were say 4 or 5 but you would have known at that time that you were not like other little girls that you identified more with little boys. You would have been confused and most likely not have been able to express this to your parents. You would have been uncomfortable wearing dresses and fought with mom to wear pants.

Based on what you have written today and your last question my concern is you are confused on your sexual identity possibly a bit scared to be a girl sexually and not having any lesbian feeling you have settled on todays hot button, "Transgender".

"I'm not a psychologist and I could be wrong. I have been answer question on the website for a long time and my instincts tell me I may be right. About 85% to 90% of the time I am right based on the feed back I do get.

IF I am correct there is nothing wrong with being 14 and confused about your sexual identity. In todays world you are forced to identify with many things long before you need to. Knowing who you are sexually is something you need time to identify and grow into especially if you have nothing in your past to tell you that you are gay or lesbian or in the wrong body. You still have to learn to identify with your sexuality. Just knowing that physically you are a man or a woman and that you identify with your physical self does not mean you automatically know who you are sexually.

What I recommend is you first make sure you are truly Transgender and not sexually confused as I suspect you may be. To do this requires some courage on your part to ask you parents to allow you to see a psychologist who can help you sort this out. If you are truly transgender at some point if you wish to transgender you are going to need to see a psychologist anyway before you can have the surgery.

Once you are absolutely sure you are transgender and if you still need help with today's question. Contact the resources I have given you. They are far more qualified to help you with these questions then we are. You would not be the first person to have these problems and they will be able to offer suggestions.


What is the side effect of xasten

You should check with your doctor immediately if any of these side effects occur when taking dexamethasone:
More common •Aggression
•blurred vision
•decrease in the amount of urine
•fast, slow, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
•mental depression
•mood changes
•noisy, rattling breathing
•numbness or tingling in the arms or legs
•pounding in the ears
•shortness of breath
•swelling of the fingers, hands, feet, or lower legs
•trouble thinking, speaking, or walking
•troubled breathing at rest
•weight gain


So my parents and I have been pretty unhappy about where we have lived for awhile. Our house is nice and the neighborhood is as well, but being so close to family and all of the other things that have happened in this city have made it miserable. Every time I bring up moving they say that they will work on it, but they don't at all. Please help!!! disclaimer: no i am not a child who just wants her way, it is truly something that would benefit everyone. (as my parents have too much stress with work and family)

I know you mean well though I doubt you can convince your parents to move. The why of it has to do with circumstances you are probably not aware of?

Such things that come into the decision making process are:

1. Their jobs; how far can they move without jeopardizing their jobs with long commutes.

2. The cost of commuting to work; how does this affect the budget.

3. Their current mortgage. Is the house worth what is owed on the mortgage or less then what is owe on the mortgage. It is possible if your home is less than 10 years old your parents got caught up in the recent mortgage problems and may be what is called upside down on the mortgage.

4. Then there are schools and property taxes that have to be taken into consideration as well.

5. Are you living where you are because your grandparents need your parents close to them?

Unless we are forced to move for employment reasons it is not easy to make a decision to pick up and move. Then of course there are the actual costs of moving. You need money for the down payment on a new house which is 10 to 20 percent of the purchase price. Then there is cost of moving from one house to the other.

It is not as easy as it seems to just pick up and move. I'm sure life might be easier if you did move away from the family if they are the cause of the stress your parents are under. Moving though may not end the stress it may just add to it; something to consider as well.

You don't speak about the "other things" so I cannot speak to them. Since I don't know your age I cannot speak to why your parents say to you that they "will work on it." It just may be easier to placate you with that answer than to have an adult discussion with you as to why moving is not an option.

Your parents may also feel that why they are not willing to move is not something you need to know. The only way to find this out is to ask them directly. A question you may want to think about asking if you really want to know if your parents are dragging their feet on this suggestion or simply placating you with an answer and ignoring your suggestion.


I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months now and I think I am ready to actually do it with her she says she is ready but she always refuses I don't force her I love her very much I respect their I take care of her but as a person I believe it's Time, I im 16 and so is shewe are very mature so my question is how can I convince her to actually do it with her?

First you do not convince, beg or force a girl to have sex with you. Doing so is sexual harassment, possibly rape both of which is a crime that you can be charged with.

When a girl says no to sex it means no and you MUST stop asking or pushing her to have sex with you. You cannot say anything to the effect of, "If you love me you will have sex with me." To do so is sexual harassment.

You two may be very mature but being 16 is still too young to be having sex. There are many other ways to enjoy your sexualities short of intercourse more appropriate for your age that do not expose the girl to an unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. While those may be good odds in Vegas they are not good odds for 16 year olds in the bedroom.

I would suggest you stop trying to have sex with your girlfriend for at least another year or so. Stick to Fingering, hand jobs and blowjobs for now.


I am an 18 year old female interested in beginning some sort of relationship with my ex boyfriend's twin brother. My relationship with my ex boyfriend was fairly serious but we no longer speak and my feelings for him have subsided. However, I have recently become interested in his brother. I have also heard through the grapevine that his brother feels the same way towards me but is wary of the situation. How should I approach this?

You are not the first couple to have desires for an ex's sibling. Yes it will be awkward at first but if you and the ex are actually over each other there is no reason why you and the brother should not explore a relationship.

Sure in this day and age it is very possible that you and the ex may have a sexual knowledge of one another. How would this be different than dating the ex of say one of your girlfriends who may also have sexual knowledge of the guy your now dating. This is the only area I can see where there would be any type of stumbling block between you and the brother.

If you can both put this behind you then there is no reason not to date or even eventually marry. Everyone has a past; when two people get together the past is history and only their future together is relevant. I say go ahead and date the brother and see where it leads to. Being twins they could be very much alike or polar opposites.


So I am 17 my gf being 16 things are a little complex. So to cut the middle story out I am not gonna beat around the bush I want to take her virginity. I am a lesbian. She like the idea of sex and stuff it's just me penetrating her just turns her off. To answer questions. She is ready I am ready i am not used to dating virgins I have a strapon I wish to use with her it is named tiger she likes to give oral with tiger cause she knows I like it. Problems: she told me she rarely gets wet, we have done some things like dry hump I can come she has never came, what if she bleeds, what if she breaks up with me, where do I take her first time, what if I hurt her worse then normal, what is gonna happen,
Please help a baby lesbian out
No homophobia !!!!

The attached article is meant for guys but it will work just as well for you. Whether you're taking a girls virginity or a guy the mechanics are and the cautions are the same.

The name Tiger for your dildo makes me thing it may be an oversized one. This is where you have it over a guy. A guy can do nothing about the size of his penis bit try and be gentle. I would suggest you find a dildo that is average or under average size when taking your GF virginity as it will be a bit more comfortable for her.

Since she has a problem getting wet spend plenty of time on foreplay and use a lube such as KY Jelly, available at most drug stores, as an extra lubricant on the dildo.

Be patient not matter what you do the first penetration is going to hurt. Remember your first time, and she probably will bleed if her Hymen is still intact. This is normal.

Do not rush her into this. Make sure she is comfortable not only in where you are or the position and what you chosen to put her on. Make sure you are safe from being intrude upon. all of this will help lessen her anxiety and make for a better experience for her.

If you are patient and pay attention to her and her concerns the other things you worry about should not come to pass. Just remember what it was like for you and don't do the things you didn't like. Also on the first penetration stop and allow her to get accustomed to having something in her before you start humping on her.



Hi! I'm Laura (hoping to change my name to Ben or something more masculine though) and I'll be turning 14 in a few weeks! I'm a biological female but I'm wishing to become a male. I haven't said anything to anyone about it yet, but I have asked my parents if I can cut my hair, saying that ling hair is "too much work to maintain". They agreed.... That is until I told them just how short I wanted to cut it. I want to get it really short in the back with some bangs in the front or something like that. My mother supported my decision but my father is a whole other story. He said some thkngs that were meant to be hurtful like calling me a boy and asking if I wanted to be called luke now (keep im mind he wasn't asking if I wanted to be a boy in a supportive way or anything, he was mocking me). It hurt a little bit, but I have thick skin. He says I'm not getting it cut, and whatever he says goes. All of this happened about two weeks ago and I haven't brought it up since. What can I do? I hate my girly appearance and I know that if he won't even let me cut my hair, I certainly can't bring up the idea of transgender.

Lets start with there is nothing wrong with being Transgender. The problem is with your parents. I say this a someone one who is old enough to be your grandfather. Now my views on sex and sexuality are a lot more liberal than most parents or grandparents. I'm a lot more open minded than most for as I've taken the time to educate myself in this area.

You did not wake up one morning and say to yourself that you are a Transgendered person. You were born this way and have had these feelings just about since birth. When you entered puberty is when the full meaning of how your sexuality and your body didn't agree. Will you some day actually change your body to fit the gender you feel you are? That is something you will eventually decide. For now you have at least 4 years before you can even have that surgery although in two years if you wish you and start the process.

Below are home websites you should look at for help. The first one also has a hotline call. It is the Trevor project and it is there to help with just the type of problems you face. their number is 1-800-488-7386.

The second will take you to a page on another website that will give you some insight on how to approach your parent s and what you can do in the interim until they are ready to accept you as you are.

Don't be too hard on your parents for Transgender while not something new is in reality something that just recently has come to the attention of mainstream America and most of the rest of the world.

People your parents age and older do not know what to make of this. In general when we face the unknown we are distrusting of it, scared and in instances such as Transgender, Gays and lesbians we feel we did something wrong which scares us even more. Scientists and doctors are just now starting to look at the why and unlocking the reasons. It can be very confusing if you are not into accepting scientific conclusions which many my age and old are again untrusting of.

Your father sees you as his little girl. He wants to see you grown up and married with a family of your own. Even still if you were to grow up and have a family of your own (as a women) you would in his eyes always be his little girl.

This is how it has been forever with dads and their daughters. What you want to do in cutting your hair scares him without a reason for doing so. Talk to the people at the Trevor project and ask for their help in telling your parents for it is going to be harder for you to live a lie. The harder it becomes the more chance you will become depressed.

Depression is everything it is advertised as and not a place you want to go. I hope I have helped you.



how do I tell a girl no to a date and that I'm a gay guy?

Should I assume you are still in the closet about your sexuality? If so and you are not ready to tell people your gay you don't have to tell this girl just to get her to stop asking you out.

Girls tell guys all the time that the guy is not their type when rejecting dates from them. I do not see a reason why a guy could not say the same thing to a girl. Now this may come as shock to a girl as it is expect a guy will date any girl who gives any hint that sex will be at the end of a date.

She may ask just what type of girl is your type. My answer to that would be in your instance, "I will know her when I see her." It is a non-committal answer for which there is no follow up question.

On the other side of the coin I do know several Gay and lesbians people who do go out with friends that are straight for an evening of fun and companionship. If course the people I know are aware the other is gay or a lesbian and the evening is purely that of friendship there is no sexual expectations at the end of the evening.

If you know this girl and believe she would keep your confidence and would like to have a nice evening with her as a companion. Then you could tell her you’re gay, though not for the reason to not date but to keep her as a friend. It is entirely your choice there is nothing that says you need to tell her or you have to accept a date to keep your sexuality a secret.


Is it normal to feel slightly high after been eaten out ?

I would say yes especially if you orgasm. The endorphins from the orgasm are going to last longer than the orgasm itself so relax your normal.


Which gay church should I join?

You really need to supply more information for any of us to try and answer your question. Information on both Churches such as what you like and don't like about them would be needed to assist you in making a decision.


Hi! I'm a 13 year old girl in Year 9/9th Grade. It's coming up tovmy options now and I really want to be a Primary School teacher. I love kids and really want to give them the best starts in life.

But, the problem is, nobody wants to support me and always has to be a complete a** whenever they can about it. Not even my dad! Because he's a police officer, he thinks he's all high and mighty and below all other people. Please bear in mind that he has treated me like a trophy all my life, think of the embarrassment he would have to endure if I became a Primary School teacher! That was sarcasm by the way...

My friends all want to become doctors, vets and lawyers and always say that that is where all the failures end up. After all 'those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach at Primary.' Again, sarcasm.

But I really want to do this! I get straight A's in Year 9 and it's just over a quarter of the way through the year. I believe I can do it but everybody hates my decisions and always have to bring me down about it. It is actually starting to make me feel depressed now.

Any advice? Thanks in advance.

I'm not sure I know exactly how you feel when everyone is against your career choice. I do know my father could not fathom my choice of becoming a member of our towns volunteer fire department and later he never understood why his grandson became a Paramedic/Firefighter.

What I can do is tell you what I have told others and what I have told my son. When choosing a career chose one that will make you happy. One that will make you eager to get out of bed in the morning, not one that will just make you rich. Money doesn't buy happiness.

Being a teacher, a doctor a lawyer or even a firefighter all are honorable professions. They are all good honest jobs and all have a place in our society. It takes a special kind of person to be anyone of these people and to try and force yourself to be anyone of these people because others think you should be is wrong.

Generally I try to find away to arbitrate in a situation like this though in this case you father is wrong. I don't have a problem with him treating you as a trophy; most fathers are that way with daughters. Most fathers see their daughters as their little girls even when they are all grown up and have families of their own.

Teaching is one of the most important professions we have. Teachers mold our future by teaching our future leaders. If this is the profession you want then go for it. Talk to your guidance counselor at school and arrange for the proper course to get into a teaching college.


Please what can I use to add more weight

If you're asking how to gain more body weight there is more information needed before this question can be answered.

The most likely answer will be that you will need to see your doctor. Most people have a problem losing weight because they overeat. There is a small percentage of people who can eat like a horse and never gain a pound. This has very much to do with how they metabolize the food they eat.

If you are grossly underweight then you need to speak with your doctor and most likely a specialist who deals with the metabolism to help you gain weight. Though if your are in all other ways healthy and your doctor is not concerned then I would listen to your doctor.

At some point in your life your metabolism will slow and you will be asking for a good diet.


I'm not here to judge anyone by their response but how many parents believe in smacking their children on the butt with a belt or paddle when they're bad? Growing up I had this done to me and always wondered if it's right or not and where other people stand on this issue.

In the very technical sense if you spank your child with anything but your hand you are committing felony Child abuse in just about every state in the U.S. Spankings in general are considered Corporal punishment.

Definition of Corporal Punishment: Corporal punishment is a form of physical punishment that involves the deliberate infliction of pain as retribution for an offence, or for the purpose of disciplining or reforming a wrongdoer, or to deter attitudes or behavior deemed unacceptable. The term usually refers to methodically striking the offender with the open hand or with an implement, whether in judicial, domestic, or educational settings.

Most parents today do not resort to corporal punishment as a means of punishment or corrective action with their children. Today's parents use "Time Outs", take away toys" "Suspend privileges," or use methods other than spanking such as assigning extra chores.

When parents spank it is usually done in the heat of anger and more harm is inflicted then may be intended or even warranted for the transgression. Use of a belt or paddle will definitely inflict more harm and pain them a hand will. Saying to the child this is going to hurt me more than it does you means nothing to the child or saying I do this because I love you means even less.

You were spanked as a child and wonder if it is right or wrong? Why are you asking this question? What affect has those spanking had on you? Do you think there is a better way to raise your children and teach them to behave as well as right from wrong?

Just because this is how your parents raised you does not mean it is right? Your question says that the spankings have left some type of lasting effect on you one that makes you question the effectiveness of spankings. I can't give you the answer as to whether spankings are right or wrong, it was wrong for me, I never spanked my child. I have posed questions to you that should help you decide if spankings are right or wrong for you to use in disappointing your child(ren)


M 16
I practice my innstruments for about 4 hrs. a day. My guitar for an hour, my bass for 2 and my key boards for an hr. Playing music is what I love to do more than anything, but I've noticed in the past month after I practice my wrist really hurt. I get like this peorcing pain in and my arms grow numb and weaker than normal. My freinds say I may need to cut back on my playing time alot. And mabey take a break. I really don't want to I love playing music more than anything in the world. Dose some one know any way to releive these symptoms. My wrists are still hurting and the last time I played was more than 3 hrs. ago.

You need to see an Orthopedic surgeon. Don't let the word surgeon scare you most all doctors two practice in Orthopedics are surgeons as these are the doctors that repair broken bones, joints and other problems with muscles that attach to limbs.

I'm suggesting going straight to the specialist and skipping the family practice doctor specifically because I am not a doctor but I suspect some type of skeletal problem that can be masked with pain pill but not fixed with physical therapy. Which is generally the direction the family practice doctors take with this type of complaint.

A Board Certified Orthopedic Surgeon is who you want to see as a Board Certified Doctor in a specialty has had specific training in this specialty. Surgery is the last option they want to use. While I'm not a doctor your complain bothers me as it is not typical of a carpal tunnel complain, at least not ones I have heard about.

My recommendation is you see a Board Certified Orthopedic Surgeon as soon as possible. Until them I would cut way back on your practice time to help[ relieve the pain you suffer. IF you do not know an orthopedic surgeon call your local hospital patient referral line for a referral and assistance in making the first appointment. Ask at that time what they recommend as an over the counter pain medication you could take until you see the doctor.


what do I do when a person u meet online and made a mistake by sending them naked pictures and thereafter I choose not to anymore and the person exposes me and then contact my other friends online and ask do they know me and send naked pictures of me to them. what should I do and how should I stop this person

You most certainly have the right to file a criminal complaint against who ever is doing this. If you happen to be under 18 they are guilty of distributing child pornography. A felony in all 50 states, most countries of the world and a federal crime as well because of the use of the internet.

It matters not whether they are an adult or a juvenile themselves they can and will be prosecuted for the distribution of child pornography. Several juveniles in several states in the past year have found this out the hard way as they are now in jail until they are 21 for doing so.

For those juveniles engaged in such action they may feel it is nothing more than a prank and being a juvenile themselves will protect them. In the eyes of the law it is not a prank and their age does not protect them.

From what you have written you may also have a charge of blackmail against this person if they said send more pictures or I will send what I have to your friends or words to that effect.

Your options here are to file a police report or to threaten to file a police report if this person does distribute your picture or to file a police report if they have distributed the picture. My advice is to tell your parents if you are under 18 and to file a police report and let the police handle it.


I am a 18 year old girl from Bangladesh. I am not a virgin.I do hav sex 3times a month. I have period bt not in time and whenever I jump and walk alot drop of blood comes out from my birth canal what should I do? Am I suffering from prolapsed uterus?

We are not doctors and cannot make a medical diagnoses. The problem you have written about and the question you ask require a doctors examination to answer. I will say this that what you have written is not normal and you should see a gynecologist or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.


Hyy...this is a girl...who was a fun loving grl..of 17 BT still survives much harder...my dad has past last year and now my mom hates me alloott I know very well that my absence and my presence dosnt make much differnce ...Im hated by evry family member BT luved by my friends BT bearing so long with my mom I m now tyrd destroyed fully so want to dei or leave or go smewhre far BT no money no courage no idea..BT want to leave fynally at NY how..where should I go what should I do...please help want to work I know much younger still want to stand on my legs if not suicide then...????

Until your 18 we really can't help you with were to go as legally parents are responsible for your health and safety until you turn 18. If you were to leave you would be considered a runaway and returned home until you turn 18.

Suicide is also not an answer it is the wrong solution to a temporary problem. What you need is professional help to fix what is wrong with your dysfunctional family and causing you to feel suicidal.

If you are felling suicidal then the quickest way to get help is to dial 911 and ask for help. All you need to tell the call taker is you are feeling suicidal and help will be sent to you.

There are a number of ways to get help for your problems. One way is to talk to a trusted teacher or your school principal. If you are unhappy at home or in a dysfunctional family you cannot do well at school. Once they know of a problem they must take action to correct it.

Another way is to call one of the hot lines I am giving you. The first is called "The Kids Help Phone" They specialize in problems relating to what kids your age face. Their number is 1-800-668-6868. The hot line is open 24/7 365 days a year.

The other is: The National Suicide Lifeline/ No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.


should i have sex with a gay guy yes or no?

According to the information available to us you are male age around 19.

My questions to you are:

1. Do you consider yourself Gay, straight or bisexual.

2. Are you asking because you are bi-curious .

If you consider yourself straight and you're asking then you must be curious about a gay sexual relation or you think you have some type of feelings for this person.

It is okay for two people of the same sex to have a love type of relation for each other without having sex. IF you are bi-curious then having a sexual relation with someone you know and trust would be the better way to go.

I don't think it is right for us to say yes or no. What I will tell you is that there is nothing wrong with being gay. If you are gay this is something you would have known for some time almost since you became sexually aware back as being gay is how you are born not something you chose to be. Bi-curious on the other hand is it is believed a choice and not a product of genetics.

Ask yourself why you are asking this question and ask yourself how you consider your sexuality to be. When you have the answers to the two questions you will have the answer to your question.


I finally passed the preassessment test and I am optimistic I will get call for an interview. What can I expect on interview day?

Congratulations. Now when you get called for the interview try to put yourself at ease and when answering questions look at the interviewer, make eye contact. This is important especially for jobs dealing with the public.

Now when dressing for the interview. Leave your watch at home or put it in your purse. Biggest mistake people make in an interview is constantly looking at their watch. Next dress appropriately. Proper dress would be a nice pair of slacks or skirt with a blouse or polo shirt. NO flip flops or tennis shoes. A clean and polished pair of flats or low heels is appropriate. Your hair should be however you would normally wear it for work and just a touch of makeup such as lip gloss and lite eye liner.

Try to remember how you answered the questions on the assessment test for they are likely to ask them again. Wait for the interviewer to finish the question before you answer do not anticipate the question. If you're not sure what they are asking in the question ask for clarification.

One question always asked by most interviewers is where do you see yourself with us in 5 years. This question can be expected if you are applying for one of their full time positions.

For companies like Wal-Mart full time employees are the ones that are most likely going to be looked at to become department manages, assistant store managers and eventually store managers. If this is what you want then have a good answer ready.

Most important is to try and relax no one is going to bite you.


hey someone please help..i am a virgin who was fingered just the other day..when my boyfriend did that i felt so good..two hours later i started having stomach pains till now like seven hours later. am in so much pain. is it normal to have such pains? my lower stomach really hurts

The two are not related. IF you were going to feel pain from being fingered you would have felt it from the beginning or it would have built up while he was fingering you. It would not have been a pleasant experience for you if it was painful.

Two possible problems could be in play one related to being fingered the just coincidental.

1) IT is very possible you have contracted a stomach virus or eaten something that has not agreed with you. Since it is hard to judge someone else's pain we use a pain line to judge starting at 1 being little or no pain and going to 10 being the worst pain you have ever felt in your life. Based on the number you give a doctor, EMT or Paramedic can judge how much pain your in.

I usually suggest when given a score of 5 or more that the patient see their doctor or we take them patient to the emergency room to be checked out as a score of 5 is considered significant pain.

2)You haven't given your age but I am guessing you are a young teenager age 13 to 15. Your pain is real but brought on sort of self inflicted. Doctors would call it psychosomatic pain brought on over stress or worry. In your case it may be a form of remorse for allowing your boyfriend to finger you. There is no reason to be remorseful.

If the pain gets worse or does not let up soon then it is time to see a doctor.


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