The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.


Hi! I'm 13, do u think it would be Appropriate for me to get a rabbit vibrator like the one with the rabbit head for clit and the dildo moves around. Should I ask my mom for one or am I too young? Please help!!

As a moderator on this site I can look back and see what other questions you have written since you are a registered user; no I can't see who you are only the questions. As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I am becoming concerned.

You didn't like my answer to the last question I answered and you probably will not like this one. I am writing this because I am concerned and wish to offer you some advice.

In the past 2 days you asked 4 questions about masturbations and one about sexy panties. You say you're 13 years old. These questions seem overly concerned with masturbation which is what concerns me.

While masturbation is good and considered healthy it should not be and all encompassing activity. If it is then there is a problem that requires professional help. At 13 sex and masturbation should not be of this high an interest to you either.

You have enter puberty that is apparent. With puberty comes sexual awareness. Like everything
sex needs to have moderation and is not an all encompassing activity. Of course I cannot say from your question if it is or is not. It is just a feeling I am getting and I am concerned for your welfare.

Because of this I am going to ask you to do something I know you don't want to do but you need to do it. If you don't you could very likely end up being very unhappy and then writing to us letters or questions I really don't want to read.

I am asking you to talk to mom about your masturbation and sexual awareness. For I believe you are a bit too aware and your masturbation may be for to encompassing for your own good.

Just for the record. I knew this question was your even before I looked at the record history for confirmation.


I have a huge question I'm a married man and I wanna know something is possibille to have sex in the ass then to go strait to the vagina without a girl getting any type of infection and how can I do this without her getting infection?

Short answer is no you cannot do that. You can go to vagina to anus with no problem but you cannot go from anus to vagina without stopping and washing up with hot soapy water and if using a condom putting on a fresh new condom after washing.

Speaking of condom usage; the male should use a condom for anal sex or he runs the risk of a urinary infection. If during foreplay his partner scratches or in some manner injures the skin of his penis the germs in the anus could cause an infection to enter his body through that area. The vagina is a far more hospitable environment and less likely to cause a problem for that scratch or abrasion.


First of all I'm a 16 year old girl. Ever since I was 10 I've always been the antisocial type who hides away in her room reading or watching tv or whatever. I've always liked celebrities and book characters, but that's only normal right? But recently I've actually been sexually attracted to them. This will sound strange but I masturbate to fanfictions and pictures of my favorite celebrities/characters (The Doctor from Doctor Who is an example of one). And I spend ALOT of time watching the shows that they're in or reading the books they're in. I've always been antisocial, but I've also always had a healthy relationship with my interests until now. This didn't start up until I moved away from all of my friends a few months and started to get lonely, maybe this has something to do with it? What's wrong with me?

Relax your normal. There is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies especially while masturbating. In fact try masturbating without fantasizing or viewing pictures of people you would like to have sex with; it is almost impossible. The only time this would be wrong is when masturbation becomes all encompassing to the exclusion of everything else in your life.

I also think you do not understand the words antisocial properly. You had friends until you moved. Now you are having a hard time making friends. People who are antisocial usually do not have any friends. You lost yours not because you are antisocial but because you moved; big difference.

Teenagers at your age find it harder to make friends then when you were say 8 or 9. The problem in making new friends, especially in high school, is if you're new to the school you are the odd person out. The other kids have all grown up together and formed friendships that go back to elementary school. These friendships with minor exception are not life long friendships for as soon as high school is over we all take off for college, the military or work. We are all forced into making new friendships.

For now the best way I know to make new friends in a strange place is to find common interests. How you do that is actually very simple. You sit down with pen and paper and write down all the activities that you like to do. You say you like to read so you put that down. Maybe you like to knit, cook, go hiking, garden or anything else that you enjoy cooking. Then you could also include volunteer activities you may want to do and your churches youth group activities.

Once you have this list number them in order of interest from high to low. Take the top 4 or 5 and look to see what activities there are in or out of school that you can join. You like reading so a book club or the drama club may be something of interest to you. Once you join these activities you have a common interest with which to talk to people. Once you are talking they get to know you and you them. Before you know it you have made a friend.

Try this; I have made this recommendation many times and have received back many replies that it works.


Hi! Befor u get all upset about my question I just want to say that I have been masturbating for about 2 years now, and I want to ask my mom for a dildo or a vibrator but she will start to freak out and yell at me so how do I ask with her not yelling at me? Please help! Ps I am 12

You have asked a very good question. You are most likely correct if you go to your mother and ask her to buy you a vibrator she will freak out. Why she will freak I cannot say? Why parents don't want their children masturbating is a long story. Shortened to the Readers Digest version is parents believe that if children are told it is okay to masturbate it will lead to full on sexual intercourse.

Possible yes but more likely it will keep children from venturing into full sexual intercourse as they can relieve the sexual tension brought on by puberty at home in the comfort and confines of their bedroom. In fact it is hypocritical of most of us parents to say anything against masturbation to our children for most of us did so as children.

In fact according to a recent survey 85% of the population masturbate. In a family of 4 this would mean 3.4 members of the family masturbate. Your parents masturbate if only during foreplay which is called mutual masturbation.

Masturbation in young teens is healthy for it allows for a safe way to relieve the sexual tension brought on by puberty, especially in the early stages of puberty. In the early stages of puberty the new hormones are going to cause the teenager to have more sexual tension then in later years as the body adjust to the hormones of sex. Hence the term horny.

Masturbation is safe and convenient as it can be done in the confines of one's bedroom, shower or bath. For a teenage girl masturbation allows her to withstand the advances of young males who are also looking to relieve sexual tension.

Have I addressed your question? In a manner of speaking I a have. I have provided you with reasons why mom should buy you a vibrator. To just ask mom for one probably won't fly. She will most likely give the parents story of masturbation being a sin, it is not in any religion. It may not be condoned but it is not a sin. She may give you the old wives tale of going blind or growing hair in the palm of your hand, not true also.

You have to go to your mom with mature reasons why she should buy you a vibrator. The fact that 85% of the population masturbate is a good start. This was found in a recent sex survey of people ages from teenaged through 65 years of age. Sexual tension, like all tension must be relieved and masturbation is the best way for young people to do so. No teen has ever become pregnant form masturbation.

You are going to have to be prepared to argue your case to your mother. When I say argue I do not mean yelling, I mean calmly explaining with facts researched to explain your point.

The alternative is to find an older person to purchase one for you and then hide it from your mother. This is a solution I do not support for mom will find it and them you will have an argument over it.


Hi my right side hurts when I masturbate. I noticed it hurt yesterday when I went to masturbate, I masturbate with a 4inch marker and my electric tooth brush. When I stick the marker about 3 1/2 inches in my vagina my right side starts to hurt. I pounded my pussy a couple days ago is that why its hurting? Do u have any Suggestions that will keep it from not hurting? Or can I take a pill or something? Or is it because I pounded my vagina too hard? Please help!

None of us are doctors so a diagnosis is not something we can give you. When people masturbate to climax; many more muscles tighten then just the sexual organs. It is possible that you strained the muscles on your right side during an intense orgasm. I know I have had very painful muscles pulls which have ruined many masturbations sessions when I was young.

There is not any over the counter medication you can buy that will stop muscle pulls. I'm told that low potassium can cause muscle pulls and eating a Banana a day which is high in potassium can help reduce muscle pulls.

It would be better if you stuck to the marker or found something that better resembled a penis to masturbate with. The toothbrush while it does give off a vibration can also hurt the interior of your vagina depending on its length. The average depth of a vagina when sexually excited is 6". If your tooth brush is longer than this you could be rubbing against your cervix and this is not good for two reasons.

1. Your vaginal has a certain PH level it maintains. Your mouth has a different PH level. Your toothbrush is a vehicle to mix these two levels. Plus the mouth has germs that should not be in your vagina. I understand about oral sex but this does not put the germs deep within your vagina the way your toothbrush may be doing.

2. The rubbing of your cervix by the toothbrush could cause a raw spot with which the germs from the mouth could settle in and cause an infection.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation. In fact it is even considered healthy in that it relieves sexual tension in a safe and healthy way. When masturbating there are a few more rules for the female since her sexual organ is internal. The most important one is to be very careful what you put in your vagina and make sure it is clean and not used by any other female. STD"S can be transmitted through the exchange of sex toys so be careful what you put in your vagina.

Other than that relax, take your time and allow yourself to explore your body while masturbating. Try eating more Bananas’ to see if it will help heal and reduce the muscle strain.


is mansturbation one of the big reasons for hairfall..??.since i have read it somewhere so just want to confirm that..!!

What you read or heard is called an "Old Wives Tale." It is what mothers primarily and some fathers tell their children to try to keep them from masturbating; which is hypocritical of then for they themselves are most likely part of the 85% of the population that masturbates. Masturbation in the form of mutual masturbation is a form of foreplay people do when they are making love. As horrid as this may be to you; you parents probably still have a sex life and they do enjoy or should enjoy a fair amount of foreplay prior to intercourse.

So all the Old Wives tales about your hair falling out or you'll go blind or that you will grow hair in the palm of your hand is untrue. Why do parents tell their children this; mainly because masturbation feels good? In fact it feels good and is considered a substitute for the real thing. Parents worry that if you masturbate you will chase after the real thing. If you do and are successful then there is a high probability that some girl will get pregnant. This is what worries parents.

Masturbation itself is actually very healthy. It relieves the sexual tension all teenagers get and adults too. Rather than chase after some young girl and run the chance of her getting pregnant or going to a street walker and catching a disease masturbation is much safer and very pleasuring; just as long as it is not an all-encompassing activity to the exclusion of everything else.

When you need to masturbate go in your room, close and lock your door, if you can, so as not to be intruded on. Get undressed and get into bed. Now you can turn down the lights and fantasize about sex and allow your hands to roam your body and learn about where and how you like to be touched. This is the preferred way or with a magazine or in front of your computer. If you cannot get total privacy in your room then the second most preferred way is to stroke of in the bath or shower.


Everytime me and my boyfriend be making out , he fingers me & it hurts .. He did it twice and each time hurts . I don't know if maybe I'm tensing up or something . But it really hurts . And I don't know why .

IF you are a virgin and are not able to use Tampons because you cannot insert them without it being painful. Then when your boyfriend tries to but his finger in you the pain you feel is the same.

Why is this happening. Why is this happening is hard to say. You may be too young to have anything inserted in your vagina, which would include having sex as having a penis inserted would be very painful. The reason being is as girls go through puberty their outer body changes faster than their sexual organs do. Yes you look like a woman and you may be getting your period. What has not happened or may not have happened yet is the hormones puberty release necessary to unlock your vaginal muscles which allows your vagina to stretch has not happened yet

Remember what comes out of your vagina. The pain of childbirth is not solely caused by your vagina stretching to accommodate the baby exiting as it is doing what it is designed to do. To allow something to enter or exit more painlessly the mussels need to release and this is done when the receive the proper hormones to do so.

Another reason may be that your Hymen is still intact and his fingers are pushing against it causing you pain.


Why can't I cum when I masterbate for a long time?

There are a number of different reasons as to why you are unable to ejaculate while masturbating. The first and most common reason has mostly to do with your age.

A boy does not have to go through puberty to get an erection, you have been getting them since you were born. As you approach puberty it is easier to summon an erection or get one because something you see sexually stimulates you. Until you enter puberty your body will not have the needed chemicals to manufacture ejaculate though you should be able to have what is called a dry climax.

Now if you have entered puberty which could happen as early as age 11 or as late as your late teens. Then you should be able to have a wet climax. If you have entered puberty and you know this for sure then you may need to see a Urologist type of doctor for this may be a medical problem. I'm not a doctor so I cannot say just what the problem could be. The most serious of the problems would be a prostate problem which is a gland responsible or which makes it possible to ejaculate. A doctor can feel and stimulate this gland by putting a finger up your rectum. Get use to this exam as from puberty till you die this will be part of every physical you have.

The simpler of the problems might be that your body might not be making the chemicals needed to cause a wet ejaculation. If this is the problem there may be pills you could take to correct this problem.

Now I know going to a parent with this, mom or dad, is embarrassing. How do you tell either of them that first you've been masturbating when they have most likely told you not to. Then you also need to tell them that when you do you can't climax and shoot sperm. If you are under age 14 you have no choice especially since one of the problems could be your prostate as this is an important part of and your reproductive system.

Now if you are over 14 a Federal Law has given anyone 14 years of age and over total Medical Confidentiality. Meaning and including that they can make doctors appointments without parental permission. See doctors without parental permission or accompaniment, be treated by the doctors and parent can have no right to this medical information. It is totally confidential as long as it pertains to your reproductive system. The law is called HIPPA.

To see a doctor under this law all you need do is call and say to the appointment secretary you have a problem covered under HIPPA that you need to see the doctor for. They will take it for there.

You are still covered under your parents health insurance for these doctors visits even though they cannot see your medical records for these visits or be told why you saw the doctor or what you were treated for. Who pays the bill does not give them the right to see your medical records. I could pay your doctor's bill and still I would not have a right to know what I was paying for.

You would still be required to pay any co-pay the insurance requires. If your parents do not have health insurance then go to a hospital emergency room and say the same thing. They will examine and treat you without worry about the bill.


I am a boy my age is 18 whenever I masturbate after 2 seconds I cum plz tell me if any issue I have

I don't think you have a problem. I believe you are like many young men who when masturbating race to cum to have the feeling that comes over you when you climax or to relieve the sexual tension before you are disturbed by others.

The last part is usually a problem young for men who live at home or have roommates. We masturbate primarily to relieve sexual tension and secondarily for the feeling we get when we climax it is a 2 for 1 deal. If we are concerned with being interrupted or intruded upon then we rush through our masturbation to get it over with. You may have unknowingly conditions yourself into doing so. It will take time but since this is a learned experience you can unlearn it.

Find a time and a place to masturbate when you know you will not be disturbed. If you live at home then you may want to do so before everyone returns home from school and work or after everyone goes to bed for the evening. Hopefully you have your own room. Close and lock your door.

Get out your music player and headphones, strip off your clothes, get your favorite stroke material and get on your bed. Put some nice romantic type music on you music player. Then with stroke material in hand lay back and play with yourself. Let you hands wander all over your body from neckline to as far down your legs as possible. Pretend your hand belongs to the lady you are looking at and she is making love to you, feeling your body and teasing you. Don't touch your penis but you can touch your scrotum.

After a bit when your body starts to tingle, so to speak, and your penis is rock hard you can start to touch yourself but lightly and slowly. This is how a girl would make love to you. Slowly at first and then as she see's you building to climax she would speed up the tempo and the firmness of her grip.

You can also try to squeeze off your climax by firmly squeezing with your thumb and forefingers just under the head of your penis. If you do this a few times you will learn to control yourself and you will have a much better masturbation session.

Just make sure that when you do masturbate you can do so without fear of interruption for a long period of time. In a comfortable place, such as your bedroom where you can lock your door against intrusion.


I am in a four year relationship. My boyfriend is 23 and I'm 21. So I've found that I don't really enjoy the sex, I suppose I don't really like the feeling. He tries to satisfy me everytime, I only seem to orgasm through stimulation. I don't want to tell my boyfriend this, that would hurt his feelings, sometimes I do wish we didn't have to do it so often, because we do, almost everytime we see each other and this is worrying as I do see a future with him. What could be causing this feeling?

I really cannot give you a good answer to your question as there is information needed that you did not supply. Information like how long you both have been sexually active, when did you lose your virginity when did he. Why this question.

Like everything else sex is a learned art. We what we learn early is what we practice until we find that our practice is shall we say in need of upgrading. This is not a disparagement. You are 21 and have been going with him since you were 18 and he was 19. If you started having sex at that age then it probably was more of a Wham, bam thank you ma'am type of deal. You are older now and where you have sex may be more comfortable and more secure from being intruded upon or discovered then at first. Plus at 21 you are more than entitled to have a sex life. So it would not be unusual that you would want more than you got when you were 18.

If I'm close to what you're thinking the solution is fairly simple and the problem is not unique to your situation. It happens to many couples including married couples. You need to talk to each other.

Remember I said you need to talk to each other. Good communications is the key to everything in our lives including sex. How can I know what your likes and dislikes are in the bedroom if you don't tell me ore you mine. How am I to know what your fantasies may be or what sexual things you might be willing to try if you don't talk to me.

The Kama Sutra has over a thousand pages of sexual positions. There are hundreds of sexual fetishes. Nothing that happens in the privacy of your bedroom is weird or kinky if the two partners are consenting to try something. The Key word here is CONSENTING.

Back to your original question. No I don't think your losing interest. I think you may becoming bored in the bedroom with routine sex. Maybe your sex life consists of foreplay which may include oral sex and fingering, then on to the missionary and possibly doggy position. That could get old. It does for many couples.

Some couples look to bringing a third person into the bedroom others look to swinging. TO me those are the wrong answers as one partner is usually not all that consenting. The solution is talking to each other and finding different things to spice up your sex life.

Talk to each other see what turns you on. It could be anything just remember what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. If you two enjoy it and are both consenting it is not weird or kinky. Some women have rape fantasies, why I don't know. Some men like to be dominated in the bedroom. BDSM are favorite bedroom fetishes. Dress up and role-play is another.

IF you two are good for each other in every other way don't let a stale love life be a deal breaker. Don't be embarrassed to ask for what you want in the bedroom.

One last thing. If you can orgasm through masturbation it is very possible you are more clitoral in nature than vaginal. Most guys go right for the vagina in foreplay and finger a girl until they, the guy, thinks they are ready for intercourse. The guys do this because this is what they learned to do. This is what they see in porno movies and what they read in porn magazines.

Most women can be stimulated just thorough vaginal stimulation. There are some and you may be among them that need their clitoris stimulated more than their vaginal in order to climax. If you are among those women there are positions in which your clitoris is stimulates during intercourse. You also need to show your boyfriend how to stimulate your clitoris and how to find your "G" spot inside you vagina.

If you don't know where your "G" spot it should be on the roof of your vagina just below and toward the opening of your vagina. Stimulating both of these should send you up a wall.


Why do i have a small pain in my tummy befor sex or when i get horny .my wilfe is 47 I am 61 i am a man my wife a good woman .how can i explain my discomfort to her.I am Canadian (English ) she is Mexican

We are not doctors so we can't make a diagnose. I would suggest you discuss this with your doctor. I would think it is nothing more than probably performance anxiety given the 14 years difference in age. The fact that your English and she is Mexican should not be a problem. She married you because she loves you and you her.

Given the age difference if I'm correct in what I'm thinking as performance anxiety being the problem don't be embarrassed about it. I believe it would be natural and something your doctor can help you with if you would discuss it with him. Don't be embarrassed to discuss it with you doctor. As a doctor he has heard this problem and others many times.


I have always been told masturbation was bad but I always here adults say yeah I used to masturbate to and I turned out fine I don't know what to belive

There is nothing wrong with masturbation as long as it is not something done to the exclusion of everything else in your life. Meaning it is something you do at night in your bed or in the morning in your shower but not something you do all afternoon and night.

Masturbation is a healthy outlet for the sexual tension young people get when going through puberty and having to deal with all those new hormones coursing through their bodies. It is also a great way to identify with your sexuality though fantasy as you masturbate. You also learn about your likes and dislikes as to how you like to be touched so allow your hands to roam your body not just your sex organ.

According to a recent survey 85% of us masturbate. In a family of 4 that means 3.4 members of the family masturbate. That's right even your parents masturbate except when they do so it is most likely called foreplay. A handjob is a form of masturbation as is a blow job or oral sex and fingering. When couples masturbate each other it is called foreplay which leads to the reason why adults tell children not to masturbate.

Lets face the facts; when you masturbate it feels good. If you allow someone else to masturbate you it feels even better and is why it is called foreplay. For it leads to the ultimate sex act; intercourse.

Parents feel if the can keep children from masturbating they can keep them from having sex. If they keep you from having sex then no one gets pregnant and they do not have to deal with the problems of teenage parents.

Masturbation is not a sin. While most religions do not condone masturbation they do not forbid it or consider a sin. They do not condone it for the same reasons parents don't want children to masturbate.

As a parent and now of the age to be a grandparent I told my son and had I had a daughter I would have told her this. Sex as a teenager is more trouble than it is worth. You want to feel a girl up go ahead but keep your dick in your pants. When you get home go in your room close the door and jerk off. There were more than enough girlie magazines around the house such as Playboy and Maxim to use for inspiration.

That's me and my wife. We have been a ittle more liberal in our views on sex and our children. Listen to what your parents say. Trying to stop someone from masturbating is like trying to hold back the ocean. Masturbation is natural so just do so in private which is where it should be done any way. Close and lock your bedroom door so you are not disturbed or do so in your morning or evening shower.


I am from South Africa 16 years old..I recently lost my virginity last month. So during that month weekly me and my boyfriend would have sex .Since I lost my virginity I never gotten my period, however , every time we had sex we would use a condom AND before he would cum he usually pulls out and gets rid of the condom afterwards.. there was one day when we were doing it and he was gona cum so he pulled out the condom broke ! ..but I don't understand because the condom only broke when he WAS NOT in me anymore ..however just for precaution the next day I took an emergency contraceptive ..and its the 1st of July and I'm still waiting for my period ..I'm afraid to get a Pregnancy test ..PLEASE HELP what do I do?

Do as Hardcore-Band-Geek says and take a home pregnancy test. There is no way for certain that we can tell yes or no that you are pregnant. The fact that you used condoms and used the emergency contraceptive pill puts the odds in favor of you not being pregnant.

Also using the emergency contraceptive could be the reason your period is late as it disrupts your cycle. The only way to know for sure is take a home pregnancy, you actually take two. You take the first one and then 10 days later you take a second one to confirm the first, just to be on the safe side even if the first is negative. There are less false negatives than positives in these test and taking two with one confirming the other makes for a more accurate test.

Stress is another reason why your period may be late. Stress more than being pregnant is the biggest reason for a women to miss her period. Being stressed upsets the delicate balance in your system and this can cause your period to be late or missed altogether.

Try and relax as from what you have written there is very little chance you are pregnant.


So I got fingered 7 nights in a row by my bf, and I haven't noticed my period in like 2 months and I'm too scared to tell my mom my problem so I'm going to you guys! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

First of all calm down things may just be fairly normal as you are only 12 years old. Fingering should not cause you to miss your period as you cannot get pregnant from fingering unless the boy has sperm on his fingers and then the chances are still very small.

You have written so little yet there is a lot I need to cover with you in answering so we will start at the top.

Your period: Being 12 years old I would have to believe you are in the first year or so of your period. During the first years of your period it is not uncommon for your period to be irregular as the hormones released by puberty become related within you.

Stress is another reason why women miss their periods. You don't say how long you have been allowing your boyfriend to finger you. If it has gone on for any length of time and you are stressed out about getting pregnant you can and most likely will miss one or more periods. As I said there is no chance of getting pregnant from being fingered unless the boy has somehow gotten his sperm on his fingers and his fingers go far enough in your vagina for the sperm to find an egg.

Fingering: Let me tell you something about boys your age, having once been one myself. They are the biggest gossips there has ever been and they cannot keep a secret. He has to tell someone, most likely his best friend swearing him to secrecy. That friend tells another and before you know it by the time school opens in the fall you will have a reputation you don't want and will find very hard to live down.

Why are you allowing this boy to put his hands down there? Is this boy your age or older? If he is older or not did he say something like; "If you love me you will let me do this." That is a line many boys use to get their girlfriends to have sex with them. "If you love me you will have sex with me." Proving your love for a boy is no reason to allow a boy to finger you or to have sex with him.

Boys and girls have different definitions of love. A girl’s definition is more like in the dictionary. A boy’s definition of love fits the dictionary definition of Lust. It is not love that they have it is lust and in general once they get what they want it is off to someone else for they have a game they play to see how many points they can score with each girl they date. They get points for feeling a girl up, fingering her and the big prize is having sex with her. They get the most points if she is a virgin which is why so many older boys go for girls your age as girls your age are more likely to be virgins.

Letting a boy feel you up, finger you or have sex with you to prove your love is not a reason to allow or to do so. This type of intimacy is a result of your love for someone and should be reserved for when you are older and more mature. Not for a 12 year old who is battling with the new hormones in her body.

Talking to Mom: Understand one thing about your period your period is not sex it is a bodily function unique to the female of our species. The person who can best answer question concerning problems you may be having is you mom and in some cases your gynecologists.

Will mom get upset if you go up to her and say, "Mom I haven't had a period in two months?" She shouldn't unless she suspects you are sexually active. If you think she will over react and start with questions about whether you have had sex? Then start with; "Mom I need to ask you a question, please understand I am still a virgin but I have not had a period in two months." That should keep mom from thinking the wrong things.

There is probably nothing wrong with your missing your period. As I said in the beginning it happens to girls your age. It has been known to happen where girls your age have had a period or two or longer and then their periods stop for as long as a year. Probably 99% of the time there is nothing wrong. It takes a doctor and a specific blood test to understand if this is normal.

Since you are too young to make your own doctor’s appointments you must go to mom and tell her. Then she can decide when and if you need to see a doctor.

Most importantly after everything I have written the most important things are:

1. Talk to your mother

2. Stop letting your boyfriend touch you as you have let him. If he is more than a year older than you, he is too old for you and wants more from you then just fingering you.


So I started Uni this year and (very out of character for me) I had a one night stand at the very beginning after my first ever time of going to a club.

Thing is, a month later I then got into a relationship, and have been in this relationship ever since.

I love my bf a lot and we are both very faithful/committed etc. But I cant stop thinking about my one night stand.
Like I cant stop checking his Twitter feed-feeling butterflies if I happen to pass him in the corridor or even just seeing his friends gets me into a hot sweat.

I've since learnt that obviously the one night stand doesn't care about me at all-and tbh I don't care that he doesn't care. I did ask him out of said night but he said no.

How do I stop thinking about him? Or do you never really forget your first time? Because I feel like I'm hiding this from my bf.

You rarely forget the first time you do anything. Be it the first time you make love, the first time you are kissed, the first time you drive a car. First times can be milestones in our lives many of which we like to keep and savor.

For some reason this one night stand is a milestone, maybe because you did something for the first time so out of character for you. Going off to college or Uni presents the possibility of many first times to do things that maybe you would not thought or had the opportunity to do at home. For whatever the reason this is a milestone event in your life. Treat it as such.

File it away with other milestone events that years from now when your at home, the kids are in bed, your husband is out of town and you're on the couch with a bowl of chocolate ice cream sitting in front TV you can think about these events without worry or embarrassment.


I am 18 year old lady, I had sex for the first time and I used a condom, but that same day my periods started and they were normal, but 3 days later, I experience running tummy which lasted for 2 days, now I have stomach cramps, bubbling from my stomach to my mouth, chest and back pain. Am I pregnant or I am just exaggerating?

No I don't think your pregnant. If you want to make sure and put your mind at ease a home pregnancy test will give you the answer.

IF you are like 85% of women you ovulate between the 6th and 21st day of your cycle. It is during these dates that you are most likely to get pregnant if you do not use some form of birth control. For the other 15% of women they can ovulate at any time during their cycle including while having their period.

You used a condom. If it did not break and you are sure no sperm leaked out the odds are in your favor that you are not pregnant. The symptoms you're feeling could be a stomach virus or even nerves caused by stress. Stress over possibly being pregnant or even over losing your virginity.

Your 18 now which makes you an adult. While your parents may still see you as a child, legally you are an adult and with that comes certain adult choices and rights. Among those rights is a right to a sex life. The right to see a doctor and ask for birth control medication; even if you are still covered under your parents insurance.

Your parents no longer have any rights regarding your medical well being. Since you are of legal age now your doctors can no longer discuss any medical visit, procedure or your medical history with anyone you have not given them explicate permission for in writing. I could be paying your medical bills and this would into give me the right to know what it is I'm paying for without your permission.

IF you're stressed out that your parents could find out you had sex; stop worrying. They never could in the first place as even a doctor can't tell if you have had sex. Now even if you tell your doctor and you should that you have had your first sexual experience. Your parents can never know as they cannot see your medical records now that you are an adult. Legally they cannot even make a medical appointment for you should you ask them too.

To get back to your original question. I do not think you are pregnant. If you want to put your mind at rest take a home pregnancy test. Buy a test kit and follow the directions as to how long after intercourse you should wait to test and then follow the directions to test.

If you continue to stress out over this you will miss your next period. Not because you are pregnant. But because stress is the biggest cause for missing a period even more so than pregnancy.


I was out to eat with my husband a few weeks ago. The place was a restaurant bar. There was a good lookig guy at the bar that kept checking me out. After dinner we decided to hang out at the bar. My husband wanted to get into a game of pool with someone so I took a walk to the ladie's room. While washing my hands that good looking guy came in and stood behind me. He started to fondle my breasts and I just stood there and let him do it. I was wearing a sun dress and he reached under and pulled my panties down and I stepped out of them. He leaned me over towards the sink and started having sex with me. I did nothing to stop him and allowed it to happen. I was afraid someone would walk in on us. No one did and he made me orgasm. After he came inside me I turned around and kissed him. He asked if he could keep my panties and I said yes. I have been walking past this restaurant a few times since this all went down and I saw him inside a few of the times. I want to go in and do it again with this guy but seem to be afraid of being caught. Am I wrong for wanting this passion a 2nd. time?

YES. Fact one: You cheated on your husband. Fact two: If this guy wanted to see you again he would have asked for your number. Fat Three: This guy took advantage of an opportunity and you allowed it to happen. Don't make the same mistake again.

Put this behind you and forget it. If there is a problem in your marriage work it out, get counseling or end your marriage. Cheating on your husband is not a way to save your marriage it is a way to ruin it.


I consider myself a bi sexual male to female crossdresser bordering on transgender. On four occasions 2 years ago I went out to an area in town where hookers work and prostituted myself. Three of the times were for a few nights each and the forth was for about 5 weeks. I needed money for food and rent and this was the easiest way to get some money. Now two years later I am still living full time as a female but I have a sugar daddy paying for everything. The thing is that I really found working as a prostitute exciting and a huge turn on for me. I enjoyed being with all of those guys and loved bringing them to orgasm. I am not ashamed for doing it and do not care who knows that I am an ex prostitute. Even girls I date find it exciting and want to have sex with me just because of my hooking. Should I just go ahead and do it again?

I can not endorse what you desire to do as I see it as a great health risk to you. Having a homosexual relationship with one person, a person you know, with taking proper precautions has its health risks. TO prostitute yourself and have homosexual relations with total strangers is a risk I can not endorse.

There are other risks associated with being a prostitute that you were luck did not befall you. Prostitutes have been known to be raped, beaten up and even murdered. Homosexual prostitutes are more susceptible to this do to certain members of society's anti gay feeling and gay bashing. The fact that this would be looked at as a hate crime does not do you any good if you're in the hospital or worse in the morgue.

Then there is your sugar Daddy; how would he feel about you prostituting yourself? It is one thing if this was the only way to put a roof over your head and food in your belly. It sounds like this is not a problem so why ruin a good thing just for a thrill.

It appears you're looking for permission to do so and I just cannot find a good reason to give you permission.


My question is my boyfriend and I are. Both virgins and we tried to have sex but it wouldn't go in I was a little embarrassed what do I do?

I wish you had included your age as it is important in answering this question. The younger YOU are the harder it is going to be for that first intercourse.

Before I go into that I need to add something here because your age is missing. Boys have a different definition of love than girls do as young teenagers. To them love and lust are synonymous. If you are having sex with your boyfriend because he said something like; "If you love me you will have sex with me." You are having sex with him for all the wrong reasons. He does not love you he lusts for you and most likely once he gets what he wants he will move on to another girl. Think about this before you try again. Trust me on this one for I was once a teenage boy.

Now if you are young say in the age range of 13 to early 16. You may have developed the outward appearance of a women's body. Internally though you are still developing. Yes, your vagina will stretch to accommodate a man’s penis, just remember what your vagina is made to deliver into the world.

While you may be getting your period and be capable of getting pregnant. The hormones that allow the vagina muscles to unlock and stretch to allow a penis to enter and a baby to exit may not have been released yet. This is all part of puberty and it happens at different time for each girl.

Another reason you could be having trouble is you are not able to relax and let those muscles relax. This is a defense mechanism. A male can have sex almost anywhere as long as he can get hard. It is not quite that easy for the female.

A female needs to feel loved, be comfortable in her surroundings, feel safe that no one is going to intrude upon her, and most important that she is physically comfortable. Meaning the back seat of the car is not the best place to lose ones virginity.

Yes foreplay and externally applied lubrication such as K-Y Jelly will help. If you cannot relax, if you do not feel loved, if there is not enough foreplay to excite you, if you do not feel safe and you are not comfortable you will not be able to relax those muscles if they can be relaxed and it will hurt. It does not have to hurt. The only real pain you should feel is the sting of the tearing of your Hymen if it is still intact.

Sex is a beautiful thing between two loving people who are old enough to be in a long term loving relationship. Mature enough to understand the possible consequences of the act of love and able to deal with them.

I will not be a hypocrite and say you must wait for marriage. Most of us your parents age and older were not virgins when we married. What I will suggest is you make sure this is the right time and the right person to give your virginity to.

If as I feel you are in the age group I think you are I ask you to reread the second paragraph before you try again.


Sometimes sex is painful for me. Like when we do doggy or missionary...are there any positions that are more comfortable. It hurts on my side too.

Your question is somewhat contradictory in what you have written. Generally speaking the doggy position allows for deeper penetration which could have your partner hitting your cervix causing you pain. In the missionary position penetration usually is not as deep unless your partners has a more than average length penis.

According to the latest Ansell Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Average Vagina Size

Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

The information I've shown above is the average so if your partner is above average and you are average then there is a chance you will suffer some pain during sex.

There are three ways to handle this:

First: Use positions such as women above where you can control the depth of penetration. In the missionary position put your knees on his chest to limit how deep he can penetrate you. Of course using this method will depend on just how long his penis is.

Second: Communication; just like everything else in life a good sex life depends on good communication between partners. Men you age are generally still somewhat inept as lovers. What I mean by this is they are still looking more to satisfy themselves than their partner. They may not admit to this though having been you are age at one time I know this to be true; especially if a relationship has not been entered into.

Third: If the problem is the diameter of his penis that is causing you pain. Just remember what comes out of your vagina. Your vagina is made to stretch and will stretch to accommodate your partners’ penis. You need to learn to relax those muscles (search the web for exercises). If you still have pain and cannot relax those muscles I suggest seeing your GYN. Don't be bashful about it as your GYN has heard this problem many times before.

He may be too quick and needs to slow down. He can shorten his stroke if need be especially if he is long in length. He won't know this unless you talk to him and tell him.

Sex is a beautiful thing between two consensual people and should be enjoyed by both. To do so you both must be open to one another and tell them what is good and what is bad. What you like and what you don't like. What you’re willing to try and what you won't try. You also need to remember that what happens in the privacy of your bedroom or wherever you have sex stays there. Nothing tries or don in the way of sexual enjoyment between two consenting people is weird. The operative word is consensual or consenting. This leaves a variety of positions available for you and your partner to try.


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