The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.


I masturbate every weekend. I like doing it bcause it makes me feel good but my mum said it's sinful to masturbate. She said that doing it is entirely wrong. We are christian. She even said it's bad in God's eyes. But It makes me feel good and avoid stress. What should I do? Is this wrong?

There are two sides to every issue. Your mom believes in what the church teaches. I believe in what I see and what the numbers or statistics tell me.

Statistically according to a recent study 85% of us masturbate. That would mean in a family of 4 statistically 3.4 people masturbate. To break it down even a bit further just what is masturbation.

A. It is the sexual pleasuring of oneself through manipulating or pleasuring ones own sexual organs.

B. Mutual-Masturbation where someone else fingers or pleasures a partner's sexual organ.

C. Oral sex is also a form of Masturbation.

Anything that involves sexual pleasuring by oneself or by another that does not involve intercourse, penis to vagina penetration. I consider to be a form of masturbation. By this definition if your parents have a healthy sex life; then your parents enjoy some form of masturbation.

It would be statically impossible for 85% of the worlds population to indulge in some form of masturbation as the majority of the worlds population is made up of Christians and Jews.

That was the factual side of my answer. The Bible does not truly forbid masturbation. It is an interpretation of sex being only between a man and a women and only for the purpose of procreation. It is not a mortal sin to Masturbate and in fact I have read an article in a Christian publication that the church while not condoning it does not actually object to masturbation.

So why do parents continue to tell their children not to masturbate. For only one reason. They feel that masturbation will lead to wanting to try the real thing. To wanting to have sex before you are old enough and mature enough to have sex.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it is actually a healthy outlet for the sexual tension brought on by puberty. It is also a better outlet than trying to get a girl or a boy depending on who is doing the asking, to have sex with you.

For a girl masturbation is definitely the safest form of sex as no one has ever gotten pregnant from masturbating. For the boy it is also the best form of sex as it relieves the sexual tension he has and does not put him in the position of getting a girl pregnant.

Is it wrong to masturbate; NO. What should you do? I shouldn't tell you to go against what your mother told you. There are at least 15% of the population that does not masturbate. Now that you have tried it will be hard not to.

My best advise is that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. You will not go blind or grow hair in the palm of your hand or anything else some may tell you to cause you not to. Masturbation is not harmful. If you chose to continue then do so in a manner that mom does not see the results, such as in the shower or hear you doing so.


I just cant stand it, I really want to masturbate, but I'm on my period right now. Is it still ok to?

Short answer to your question: There is nothing wrong with masturbating when on you're on your period. It may even help relieve some of the cramping.

You didn't give your age so I will assume you are a teenager for the rest of my answer to you.

Masturbation, sex and Menstruation have nothing to do with one another. In fact for 20% of women it may be necessary to have sex when menstruating if they want to conceive a child.

Explanation: Most women ovulate between the 7th and 21st day of their cycle. This is the time when they are most likely to become pregnant. For the other 20% of women they ovulate at any time during their cycle including when they are having their period. For this 20% having sex during their period, which is considered a safe time for most women, may be the only time they can conceive. If you can have sex while on your period there is no reason you cannot masturbate. It will not hurt you in any way and as I said it may help relieve some cramping.

Why have I told you this? Two reasons:

1) TO justify my answer to you that you can masturbate during your period.

2) If you did not already know this it is important to know.

There is a kit you can purchase at the drugstore that can help you tell when you are ovulating. I believe this is something all women should know for various reason including knowing when it is safe to have sex and when it is possible to conceive a child.


Um, while I was masturbating in the shower, I started with my clit, it felt so good, then for the first time, I slid my finger in my ***** but it kind of hurt. What do I do to make it not hurt when I slide it in?

I'm not entirely sure why it hurt when you put your finger in your vagina. If you are able to insert a Tampon then putting a finger in should be just as easy.

My thinking was you were standing and your muscles were tight. You were also probably a little scare or anxious about masturbating or trying this. Masturbation is normal and healthy so if this was or is your problem relax.

I don't know why parent make such a big deal over masturbation. We all do it or at least 85% of us according to a recent survey. I think the fear is if our children are allowed to masturbate they will want to go on to the next step and have actual sex. My thinking was and is just the opposite. My children were told we would rather they masturbate in the privacy of their rooms then to go out seeking sexual relief and get pregnant or get a girl pregnant.

My suggestion is the next time you want to try this. Go in your room, close and lock the door so you cannot be intruded upon and lie back on your bed. If you want you can dim the lights and put on some music. Put a bit of petroleum jelly on your finger as a lubricant, relax and try again.

Note: Make sure the nails on the finger or fingers you wish to insert into your vagina are clipped short so as not to scratch yourself.


my boyfriend wants to insert his penis in my ass.. but im not allowing as we are only 17! now he just wants to touch his penis on my ass.. im not ready for that also as im scared of precum.. he cannot take a condom.. so he has asked for using plastic instead of condom. is it ok to allow him to cover his penis with plastic bag and let him touch my ass?is it safe?

While I do not agree in total with the previous two advisors there is some good advice in both answers. I'm going to give you a different approach to your questions

First lets talk about condom usage. You say your boyfriend cannot take a condom. There is only one valid reason for your boyfriend not wanting to use a condom and that is most are made of Latex and he has a latex allergy. If this is the case they make condoms out of sheep's skin they are more expensive than Latex condoms though he should not be allergic to them. Sheepskin condoms are also thinner than Latex ones and will provide him with a greater amount of feeling which is another benefit.

Any other reason he may give you for not wearing a condom is just plain BS. Most men or boys do not like condoms because they degrease the sensitivity he feels. Frankly that is tough especially if you are going to have anal sex. More germs reside in the anus than any other part of the body. Remember the anus is the exit port for the bodies waste system. All of the bodies toxins exit through the anal canal and many germs reside there. These germs can be transferred from him to you through other sexual acts no matter how thoroughly he washes his penis after anal sex.


One of the other reasons you gave was precum. Lets take this question next:

The only time you have to worry about precum is with vaginal sex and not being on birth control or using a condom. While a condom should be used for anal sex if it isn't and the boy cums or has a precum discharge in the anal passage. There is no fear of pregnancy as the anal canal and the reproductive system are not connected. Just like oral sex you cannot get pregnant by swallowing the boys cum as the digestive system and the reproductive systems are separate. None of these systems interconnect.

The only way a woman can get pregnant is through vaginal sex. In some way sperm has to enter her vagina. Swim up to the fallopian tube and find an egg to fertilize. There is no other way.

Now as for not being ready. This I believe is the real reason. If you're not ready to do something sexually that's it. You say no and that is the end of the question. Any further pushing, begging or forcing of the issue becomes sexual harassment which is a crime.

In order for any type, of sex to take place, be it a blow job, a hand job or intercourse of any type both parties have to be mutually agreeable. If either party says no and the other continues or forces the other then it is rape.

As I said above to continue to pressure the other party into doing so can also be sexual harassment. If the other party consents just to get away or to get the other party to stop pressuring then it is still considered rape.

You did not say whether you are just not ready for anal sex or any type of sex. It does not matter. Until you are ready and you may never be ready for anal sex, he has to stop asking or he is sexually harassing you.

Now as for using plastic as a condom the answer is NO. It will not protect from any of the STDS a condom protects from and it will not protect you from getting pregnant if you have vaginal sex. IF you decide to have any type of sex with him including anal sex he has to use a condom. If you can't wear a latex one have him get a sheepskin one.


hi i had my period ova 3 days ago when me an my husband wantd to have sex just when he pushed in his penis i started to bleed agian we stop having sex right on the spot i wanted to know are we at risk of geting hiv/aids please i need to know its not the 1st time it happend it happend twice befor but we never continue having sex on wen i saw the blood on my fingerz plz i need to know

No from what you explained there is no reason for you to worry about getting HIV/AIDS. In order to get HIV/AIDS one of you must have had sexual contact with someone who has the virus. As long as neither of you carry the virus then there is no risk of either of you contracting the virus from the other.

Now as to why you start bleeding again three days after your periods stops; that is a question you should consult your gynecologist about. I'm not a doctor so I can't say whether this is an indication of something being wrong. What I will say is it is not normal, at least in my view and I suggest you see your doctor.

While you are there have the doctor explain to you about AIDS and the HIV virus for your belief that your bleeding could give it to you or your husband is very wrong. There is nothing wrong with having sexual intercourse while a woman is having her period as long as neither party objects. Mostly it will be the women who will object as she is the one who may be uncomfortable during this time and not feeling very sexy.

The following link will give you more information on how HIV/AIDS is contracted.



You answered a question of mine about doctors seeing if I'm a virgin. You mentioned Hippa. Could you send a link that shows where it says the doctor does not have to tell my parents? I would really appreciate that and thank you for answering my other question.

You would have to go to the full text of the law to find what you are asking for. The URL's below will link you to sites that while, in somewhat legalese, explain about the privacy act of HIPPA and how it works for young people.

You do not have to say a word to mom about this prior to going to the doctor. Let the doctor explain to mom. In fact if you have not had a female exam since getting your period let the doctor examine you. Just state before the doctor or the nurse prepares you for the exam or to the receptionist that you invoke your rights under HIPPA Privacy.

Let the doctor take it from there. Your main concern is whether the doctor could tell if you have done anal or are no longer a virgin? The answer is no, unless something in either your anal or vaginal canal is torn. Then the doctor would suspect something has been up the canal that is not suppose to be their. The doctor cannot tell if that something was a boys penis or a vibrator or dildo. You are considered a virgin until a penis has entered your vaginal. Anal sex has nothing to do with virginity.

As I said yesterday a missing Hymen does not mean you have had sexual relations. Girls today lose their Hymens through exercise, bike riding, jumping and other activities sometimes long before they even consider having sex. Even Tampon usage can tear or break off a Hymen so that is not a concern and is something a doctor would explain if he or she were to report to a mom that a girls Hymen were missing.

I still don't know how old you are and I hope you are a lot older than 14 if you are in anyway sexually active. From my perspective, and I am very liberal in my views when it comes to sex and teenagers. If mom suspects you are sexually active and is forcing you to undergo a female exam this is invasive and a violation of your privacy. Mom is very, very wrong here. What she should be doing is making sure you have the proper protections from STDS and pregnancy. I suspect mom was a very sexually active teenager and trying to make sure you're not as she was.

I know some doctors who will not perform this exam unless there is medical reason or if there is a suspected rape. Simply telling the doctor you don't want this exam, there is nothing wrong, you are having regular menses. This exam is nothing more than your mom wanting the doctor to verify what can't be verified and that is whether you are still a virgin. The doctor should refuse to do the exam.

At this point if you are seeing a good doctor the doctor will tell mom she is wasting her money and charge her the minimum charge for an office visit and go on to the next patient. You do not have to confront you mom let the doctor do the confrontational thing with her. Remember as part of the doctors oath they have sworn to do no harm. Doing an unnecessary procedure is doing harm.





If a doctor checks if a girl is a virgin can he tell if she has had anal sex or will he only see vaginal sex?

A few things you need to know that your question brings to light for me.

1) No the doctor cannot tell if you are sexually active either with vaginal sex or anal sex unless the doctor sees some semen. That would be a giveaway sign. The doctor can only tell if you Hymen is in tact and there are many ways for today's active female to dislodge her Hyman. So a missing Hyman is not proof of loss of virginity.

2) More importantly this questions sounds like mom is taking you to the doctor to see if you are sexually active. If you are 14 or older, even though the doctor cannot tell by examination, you can refuse to have this type of exam or have the results of any medical exam or treatment of your reproductive system shared with your parents.

A federal law called HIPPA gives anyone over the age of 14 medical confidentiality over their reproductive system. Even though in the eyes of the law you are a minor and mom can force you to go to the doctor. This type of exam cannot be forced on you or can she or anyone else know the results of any exam or treatment of your reproductive system with out your consent.

Your mother can no longer be in the exam room with you at any time during any exam where a doctor may have reason to give you a female exam.
The examination of your reproductive system and the medical records of any examination are totally confidential. Only you can say who may see these records and that has to be in writing to your doctor(s).

Doctors are well aware of this law so all you need to say to the doctor is you are invoking your rights under HIPPA. The doctor or nurse will explain to your mother what that means. You cannot be forced and no doctor will allow you to be forced to give up this right.

Congress put this into the HIPPA law so young people would seek medical help when and if they needed or if they had questions they were too embarrassed to as a parent. By having total medical confidentiality you can speak freely and truthfully with your doctor so the doctor can properly treat you.

3) An unintended consequence of this law is that you can also ask the doctor for birth control medication and it will be prescribed for you. If you are sexually active I suggest you ask for birth control medication.

4) This law allows anyone 14 or older to seek medical help by making appoints and seeing a doctor with or without parental knowledge or permission. You may see any doctor you chose which may be your present doctors or you may go to any of the free clinics for women's reproductive health.


i want to no wat damage can be cause when u mastorbate

First things first, you need to do a better job with your question. For instance it would help to know if you're a boy or a girl. It would also help to know how old you are.

As a general answer masturbation will not cause you any harm. Masturbation is a natural way for anyone, adult or teenager to relieve sexual tension. The only time anyone has to worry about anything when masturbating are females when and if they wish to penetrate themselves.

In general a female will masturbate using her finger to stimulate her clitoris and possibly stick one or even two fingers in her vagina. In doing so she could, if her nails are long scratch herself causing some minor bleeding. She might even dislodge her Hyman if it is still intact.

Doing so would not mean she is no longer a virgin. Virginity is lost, for the boy or the girl when his penis penetrates a vagina or her vagina is penetrated by a penis for the first time. This is called intercourse.

If you are a girl I would not suggest you stick anything inside you that is not meant to be put inside you while masturbating.

Note: You will receive more answers and be taken more seriously by the advisor on this site if in the future; should you write to us again, if you use better grammar and spelling. People are judged by how they speak and write. When writing to people you don't know it is best to write as if you were giving the letter or question to your English teacher for a grade.


Okay so I started dating this boy Jayden he's insanely cute with hazel eyes justin bieber hair around April 4 . 2013 . We were both 12 in 7th grade and you know where I'm from half the people in my school already had sex one was actually pregnant she was in eighth . And well .. The only thing I've done sexual before was got my pussy rubbed like they're fingering me from the outside like through my clothes and now it's April 5 2014 . I've been dating Jayden . For 12 months now well okay . On July 10th my birthday he was in my room and we were making out and when we made out with eachother we always touched eachother like he would would rub down there and I would rub his dick . And this time he actually slid his hand down there I stopped kissing him and looked at him and he said " I love you so much " then bit his lip and started kissing me again of course I couldn't resist . So he put one finger inside me it didn't hurt it actually felt good an he started pacing up the speed then he put in two which sorta hurt because I'm really tight /.\ but after like 20 seconds it stopped hurting and he was going really fast and we were moaning really loud because my parents were gone . And I cam all over his hand after that he ate me out , we didn't have sex because we both agreed we wouldn't until 16 . Well on his birthday which was like a couple weeks after mind July 23rd I came to his house and his mom and brothers went out to buy a cake we were on his bed and I like sat on top of him and started making out with him he starts to take my shirt off .. Which Im really uncomfortable with my body but he's seen my boobs before because of pictures but anyways started kissing my boobs then we switched spots he got on top of me and he just pulled the part where it between your thighs up because we didn't want to go fully naked in case his mom got home . So he pulled his basketball shorts down a little and I gotta admit it was huge which made me nervous he started putting it in I didn't want him to put all of it in because I was sort of scared so he stuck half of it in and started stroking back and forth we were both moaning and as soon as he cummed you could hear his moms car doors lock so we quickly got up straightened our selves up ran to the living room and act like we were just watching tv I guess you can say that was the best present ever . And I really loved him I still do he means the world to me . Okay in September me and him broke up for about I think 1 week or 2 weeks because he hugged some other girl an the girl liked him . During that i was texting his friend jake all the time and I did like jake before I even dated Jayden and I started to like him again . So after school we walked to his house then the park down the street and no one was there so we went in this thing that had two big walls on each side I was sitting on his lap and we were just talking then I notice he got A Boner so I got up and got in my knees and we smiled at eachother he zipped his pants undone and pulled it out it was pretty big I didn't give him a blowjob because I honestly think that's gross so I have him a handjob about 5 minutes in to it and asked if we could titty fuck and I gave in and said yes when we started doing that he cummed all over my boobs and i got a text fom Jayden saying " myname I love you and I miss you so much please come to my house " and Jayden lived about 4 blocks from where I was at so I got up and put my shirt back on and told jake I have to go I gave him a hug and ran to Jayden's house he gave me a big hug an kissed me and said he was sorry and he loved me and he didn't want nobody else so I took him back but jake is Jayden's bestfriend so whenever me and Jayden went to the mall or something he would bring jake which would he extra awkward but now me and him are just friends and talk once and awhile . But this month was me and Jayden's anniversary we just went to the same place we hanged the first day we dated which was in front of my grandmas house with my friends Noah , and Boyd . We just laughed and talked about memories . Jayden did eventually find out what happens between me and jake in like February he was mad or awhile but he said it's okay we weren't together during that and honestly I felt like I only did to get over Jayden . But I love this boy to death and I'd not be with anyone besides him . I will marry this boy and I know that for a fact . You guys might not understand my life and yes I do regret doing that with jake I'm not gonna use the term " young and dumb " it's more like " dumb ass things To get over ex " but like i said I love that boy and I always will I just wanna know if I'm dumb for doing this with the one I love or not ? Even if they're bad opinions I won't care it's my life not anyone's else's . I don't even know why I bothered to ask this question when I shouldn't are about anyone's opinion . I'm not gonna get pregnant and im using protection and I have birth control pills . Definatly not having kids and the last time me and him had sex was about December . I told him we should wait a little more into really getting into it .

Is it wrong to be sexual at ages 12, 13, or 14. Wow is that a loaded question of sorts.

First there is a difference between being sexual and having sex which is what I believe you are asking. Being sexual at the ages you mention is all part of going through puberty which is what happens to all teenagers at the age you mention. How you handle being sexual depends on whether you are just a sexy person or a person who is having sex.

I hate sounding like an English teach and I'm not. I have spent my entire working life as a salesman and words and how you use them are important. There is nothing wrong with being sexual at the ages you speak about. This when you learn about your own sexuality. This is the time for making out and masturbation to find out what turns you on. It is not the time to be having sex.

There are many reasons why you should not be having sex at the ages you write about. For girls more than boys the old double standard comes in as well. Besides both boys and girls being too immature in body and spirit; Girls must think of their reputations as well.

Boys cannot keep having sex a secret, they will tell their best friend. This friend will tell another and before she knows it the girls who are having sex with their boyfriends are suddenly the most popular girls in school for the wrong reasons. Once this horse is out of the barn there's no putting it back.

Using birth control medication is good and using condom as well is even better. You should never have sex with anyone without using a condom regardless of if you are on birth control. For those girls under ages of 14 they cannot get birth control medication without parental permission and they must rely on condoms alone. Condoms alone are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy.

There is one more point that needs to be brought out about boys in this age group. They do not have the same definition of love that girls do. In fact for most boys their definition of love at this age is synonymous with lust. So I ask you this question; did Jayden come back to because of true love or lust? Meaning would his new girlfriend not provide the sexual relief you had provided and therefore he lusted for the relief you provide him? This is a question you need to answer since you see him as your future husband. If his love is only that of lust then he does not see you way you see him.

This is the true problem between being sexual and being sexually active at the ages you speak of.


But why the bleeding comes from her ass after I fuck

(edit: Please link to your previous questions if you ask a followup question. Here is the link to the previous question referenced here:


There are a number of reasons why your wife may bleed after anal sex. Just why I cannot say for certain. She could have an internal hemorrhoid in which case anal sex would be very painful. You could be tearing her when entering or she could have an anal fissure that ruptures during anal sex.

Any and all of these things need to be seen by a doctor. The proper doctor to see would be a gastroenterologist or an internist. Until your wife sees a doctor I recommend you not have anal sex with her. Stick to vaginal sex and use a condom for birth control if she is not on birth control medication. Just remember condoms are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy when worn correctly.


hi im male 16 can any 1 tell me how to masterbate and waht happens when i it my male orgazam

Try typing the following into a search engine; "how do men masturbate." It will return a number of sites you can go to that should answer your question.


hi I'm 19 and my boyfriend said he wanted to try anal sex... The thing is that I never tried it before and I think it will hurt like reallllllly bad. I want to make him happy but at the same time I think that it could be painful :/ I don't know what to do because I love him so much and don't want to disappoint him. We have been dating for a year now. If you know what I could say to him, or any advice in general I would love it! By the way I love your column!
Thank you :)

Anal sex can be painful especially at first. I will say that there are some women who say they truly enjoy anal sex once they get use to it.

I think once we all reach adult age we experience an adult physical which for both men and women include an anal penetration as part of the exam to exam different interior organs. Penetration even by the doctors finger is generally painful for most of us.

One reason for this is the anus is a one way valve, so to speak. It is designed to allow waste out or to open from the inside out. Not the outside in.

One reason men & boys are infatuated with anal sex is the sphincter muscle is much tighter than the vagina muscles and most women have better control over this muscle as well. Anal sex provides a much firmer grip on their penis.

Normally I advice that any sex between adults must be consenting by both parties. In the case of anal sex the person being penetrated has the final say for this sex act. So if you say no that is it anal sex is not going to happen.

Should you decide you want to try here are some things to think of and to do.

1. The larger in girth your boyfriends penis is the harder it is going to be for him to penetrate you, and possibly the more painful it will be. So it is very important that you use plenty of anal lube.

2. You have to be relaxed. If you are nervous or uptight it is going to hurt as it will be harder to get past your sphincter muscle.

3. Do not allow anal sex without a condom.

4. Even with a condom do not allow him to go from you anus to your vagina without first stopping and thoroughly washing his entire groin area.

5. Your boyfriend has to agree and understand that if you say stop, no or pull out and he does not or tries to continue it is now rape.

One thing you might want to think about is this. When I give advice on sex one thing I always say is what happens in the bedroom between consenting adults is fair game. Nothing is off limits, strange or weird if you both consent to it.

Now anal sex can work both ways. If he wants to have anal sex with you he could be agreeable to you having anal sex with him first. This does not make him gay, remember what I just said. It is just you and him with as strap on dildo. If it means so much to him to have anal sex then he should be willing to share the pain.

My thought is he will quickly forget about wanting anal sex if he first has to allow you to have it with him. When it comes to pain we men can be real wimps.


i dont have an orgasm at all during sex or with foreplay is there something wronge with me?

No there are many women who do not experience orgasm though they still enjoy sex.

Do you orgasm when you masturbate? If the answer is yes then the reason you do not orgasm during intercourse or foreplay is because your partner is not stimulating you properly. Most men have been taught, or more correctly self-taught, that during foreplay to stimulate their partner vaginally.

For about 75% to 80% of women this is the best way to stimulate them. For the remaining 20% to 25% of women vaginal stimulation does nothing for them. These women get all of their stimulation clitorally. Meaning their partner must spend more or a great deal of time stimulating his partners clitoris on "G" spot which is inside the vagina generally behind the clitoris.

If you orgasm during masturbation it is generally because you, as most women, spend more time stimulating your clitoris. There are women who just don't orgasm, why I really can't say as there are many reasons for this to be.

You have not given your age, so if you are quite young this could be a reason. Another reason, although quite rare today, could be upbringing, where you have been taught that sex is a wifely duty and not something to get pleasure from. This reason is much more 19th century and earlier. It could be that you are young and having illicit sex with a boyfriend and fear, pregnancy and being caught. As I said I can't give you any specific reasons as you did not give any specific details about yourself

My advice is: If you enjoy sex without the orgasm enjoy the sex. IF you are truly concerned about having an orgasm then I suggest you consult you GYN. If you're over 14 you can do so without parental knowledge or permission under a federal law called HIPPA. Your visit and what you discuss with the doctor is confidential and cannot be told to your parents.


I fantasize about other guys and penises when I masturbate. Does that mean I'm gay or bi?

Relax; the mere fact that you are asking this question says you are not gay. You don't wake up one morning and decide you are gay. Being gay is something you are born with. It is part of your sexuality and you would know before now that you were gay.

What is happening is you are discovering your sexuality. Depending on how old you are you may not have much to identify with than other boys your age. As you get older and start mixing with girls your masturbation fantasies will turn to the female breasts and sex organs.


hi dear
im a male 27 years and my friend he was divorced for his 1st marriage then he married a woman who is 5 years elder to him she is 32 with a baby boy from her 1st marriage and she is having crush on me once was invited for a dinner at her place she told me she is not sexually satisfied with my friend and she moved his hand directly to my cock under the table and said wow what a long thing you have between your legs and now she wants me to have sex with her and i also liked her when she grabbed my cock in her soft hands but Im very much confused what should i do is it ok to have sex with a lady who is 5 years elder to me ? plz help me out thank you.

Let me ask you this question. What if it was your wife and she was asking your friend to have sex with her. Would it be right for him to have sex with her? I'm sure you would say no, so why are you asking us for permission to have sex with your friends’ wife? Regardless of the age difference, you could be older than her or even the same age it is not right for you to have sex with a married women; a friend’s wife or any other married women.

In answer to your question on age and sex. As long as both parties are above the age of consent and both parties are consenting to having sex with each other. Age is not a factor; older younger or same age the operative word is consensual. This still does not give you the right to have sex with your married friends’ wife.

If she is not satisfied with the sex with her husband then she needs to communicate her needs to her husband. Sex is a learned experience and for two people to have a happy and healthy sex life they need to communicate their needs to their partner and teach them how to satisfy them. This is what you should be telling your friends wife, not thinking about how you can rationalize getting in her pants.


my friends wife wants to have sex with me because she is not sexually satisfied with her husband what should i do please help me.

Do not have sex with her. Instead suggest she talk with her husband about what her sexual needs are. The biggest problem in a marriage is a lack of communication, especially concerning our sexual needs.

Sex between a man and wife is a learned experience if it is to be a successful experience. The only way to know if one is pleasing the other is to communicate. She should be teaching him how she likes to be touched; where she likes to be touched. She may be more clitoral than vaginal. How is he to know this if she does not tell him? Maybe she stills likes a little seduction in her sex life instead of; "hey babe lets mess up the sheets" or words to that effect. This is not going to happen unless she communicates it to him. The same goes for him, he needs to tell her what he likes and does not like. Most importantly what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Meaning nothing in the way of a sex act between them is off limits or weird as long as they both consent to it; if either one says no then it is no.

Maybe the missionary position with her on the bottom does not do it for her any more. She needs to speak up. I'm sure they both have some fantasy or two. If they talk about them they may just be able to try acting them out. Whatever turns them on is fine in the privacy of their bedroom provided it is mutually consensual.

Instead of agreeing to have sex with her tell her what I have written. Communicating will save her marriage where having sex with you might end her marriage. As a last resort they could consult a sex therapist. There would be no shame if they felt they needed to. As I said sex is a learned experience and there is no shame asking for help.


I'm 16, turning 17 in a few days. I have a 1yr old. and I believe I'm addicted to sex. I started when I was 15. I didn't start having actually sex til after my daughter. I have had sex with around 15 guys. I have never had sex with more then one guy at a time but some say they ran a "train" on me. which never happened. I have had sex with a set of brothers but at SEPARATE times, I REGRET IT ! I have had one night stands and regret that also! alot of the dudes I've had sex with were my regrets!! Sex makes me happy, but not all the time. Am I a whore for this??

Having a lot of sex does not make you a whore. By your self-description you may very well be someone addicted to sex. This is an addiction that is curable.

Being addicted to sex is not good. It forces you to make bed choices in life. While I'm sure, if you kept your baby, you love the child. Being a mom at 15 is hard for you and will only get harder.

One way to cure your addiction to sex is similar to how alcoholics are cured by going to alcoholics anonymous. Here is a link to their website http://sa.org/. The other way is seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist possibly both for individual therapy.

What is most important is you most want help or neither SA or therapy will not work for you. You say sex makes you happy. I do not believe that is totally true or you would not have written to us. I believe you are ready for help just maybe not convinced in total or not sure where to turn to for help and afraid maybe to come right out and ask.


How can I make a fake penis that is small but will feel amazing when inserted in my vigina, I am 14 years old Girl and I need to let lose of some sexual steam out because I need something that will help me for my sexual disire!!!

How to make a safe fake penis

My advice is stick with your fingers for now as your body is not quite ready to accept having something shoved into it. One of the reasons as parents we tell you not to have sex to early is that while you may look like a woman; physically you have a ways to go.

At 14 your vagina is still developing. Yes if you shove something in there you could make it fit. It will be painful because the muscles of your vagina are still frozen. Puberty has not yet sent them the signals to relax and stretch properly. Remember what comes out of your vagina, what your vagina was truly built for.

Forcing a penis, fake or real, into your vagina before it is ready could damage the muscles making child birth more painful than it should be. Sex should not be painful even at first attempt with the exception of tearing you Hyman. If the muscles have been damaged in any way sex can be painful for the rest of your life.

Of course the fact you could get pregnant is the main reason parents warn against having sex to early. It is the combination of the two that we are protecting you from although most parents won't talk about the second. So stick with your fingers rubbing your clitoris and putting one or two fingers inside your vagina.


I'm 13 n I want to be fucked:(! How can I relieve my horniness

You're 13 and what you are feeling are the hormones of puberty running wild in your body. Hence the term "Horny." I'm assuming from how you have written to us and the statement; "I want to be fucked," That you are a female.

At your present age your outward appearance may have changed enough that you now look like a women and you may even have your period. You are not yet and still far from being a woman either fully in your appearance or internally.

Yes you most certainly can get pregnant at your current age which is a nasty trick for your body is not truly ready for a pregnancy. Just like older women a women your age who becomes pregnant is consider a high risk pregnancy because of what being pregnant can cause to happen. High risk is generally mean to be life threatening for either the baby, the mother or both.

That is the first problem with having sex at your age as the body is not ready. You’re not ready or mature enough; simply by your statement it says that, to have responsible sex. Your sex organ, your vagina is not ready to be penetrated so it is going to hurt and you could be harmed as well needing a doctors care to repair.

I know what you’re saying I have no idea what I'm talking about for you know better. Unfortunately I have seen this all too often, not with girls your age who had consensual sex but girls your age and younger who have been raped. As a fire fighter I have responded on rape calls.

I also know 13 year old boys. They are too immature to be having sex as well. If you offer them your body they will take it to please themselves. They will not be gentle and you will feel used and dirty. IF you continue to offer yourself to boys you will get a reputation around school that no girl wants. Then you will write us asking us something we will never answer.

To be honest if you were 3 years older I am liberal enough to tell you differently. It would be hypocritical of me to say otherwise. I would probably ask you or at least advise you to wait a bit longer. If your were dead set on having sex at 16 then I would advise you on how to get birth control and how to have safe sex. You’re not 16 your 13 and it is wrong and not safe for you to have sex at this age. This is your hormones talking.

IF you really need to relieve the sexual tension then masturbate. Their is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is natural and safe. According to a survey done on masturbation 85% of the population masturbates. Statistically this means one or both of your parents masturbate.

Masturbation is not wrong or evil. Parents tell their children not to do so for they fear it will lead to doing the real thing. I and many other parents believe it will stop or delay children from having sex before they should.


I got married one and half month ago but our sex relationship is uncompleted. ...We try every day but panis do not push inside..I have lot a pain when my husband start sex...I am feeling very guilty. .because I am not support him properly. ..

You have not said so I will assume you were a virgin on your wedding night and now you are also frustrated. You also have not said if your husband was a virgin or has some sexual experience.

If you are both virgins take heart this is not uncommon. For the purpose of my answer I am going to assume you were both virgins on your wedding night. I also want to tell you I am of your grandparents’ age so I am a bit more knowledgeable on this subject then some of the younger advisers and I'm also very liberal in my views on sex.

Let’s start with saying what happens in your bedroom stays in your bedroom. Meaning there is virtually nothing that a man and women can do in the realm of sex that is considered weird or wrong as long as both of you consent to do it. If either of you feel that what the other wants to try is not right; you say so and it is not done.

This can be a sexual position or some type of sex act itself. Communication between partners is what is important. If you talk to each other, tell each other what you need then you will have a wonderful sex life together.

The preceding was and is important for if you are not comfortable, sex is always going to be painful for you will be tense. You are the one allowing someone, yes he is your husband and you love him, to penetrate your body with his penis. This is a natural act between lovers if they are comfortable with each other.

Let’s get you two comfortable with each other. First you are, when the time is right, going to need some extra lubrication at first. At least until your vagina learns to accommodate your husbands penis. A tube of K-Y Jelly will do.

I am thinking that foreplay may be missing or insufficient to relax you or get you excited. Foreplay is a very important part of sex. In fact it may be more intimate then intercourse itself as it allows both of you to explore the others body. To find out what stroking, nibbling and caresses on different parts of your bodies turns you on.

I am going to suggest that you go to bed with the intentions of not having sex but to learn about each others bodies. This will allow you to relax knowing he is not going to be penetrating or attempting to penetrate you. What this exercise does is allows you two to learn to be comfortable being naked with each other with the lights dimmed and to learn about each others needs.

You might start with making out like you may have when you dated. In this case you let your husband get under your clothes and to take them off and you get to take his off. You let his hands and mouth wonder all over your body. Nibble your ear, your neck, your breasts and suck on your nipples.

Let him work his way down to your sex and finger you. Oral sex is also very good. Show him where your clitoris is and how to gently stoke it and lick it. He can also work his way down your thighs and legs to your toes. While he is doing this talk to him tell him what feels good and does not feel good; if he is being too rough or to gentle. He is building a road map by which to please you.

You do the same to him. IF you two have never done oral sex to the other I suggest you try it. I know he will enjoy it and you will enjoy it as well when he does it to you as you both learn to enjoy each other.

When you are excited enough, and he will know by how wet you are, intercourse will or should be possible. The first time is painful if your Hymen is still intact and your vagina stretches for the first few times.

The pain does go away as you have sex more often. IF it doesn't then a trip to your Gynecologist may be in order. The key to good sex is you feeling comfortable, relaxed and safe in your surroundings.

Sex is a natural animal instinct with in us all. Good sex is something we learn to have with our partner and it takes time and trust in our partner.



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