Member Since:June 18, 2009
Last Update:October 30, 2014
Im not a virgin but when my boyfriend was fingering me & blood came out. My cherry has been poped already, & its not my period. He was going a little rough through. What is this blood than??
Popping your Cherry is an improper term used to express the loss of the HYMEN for women. Unless you have had your vagina penetrated by a boys penis. By today's definition you are still a virgin regardless of whether your HYMEN is in tact.
We are not doctors so we can not give you a diagnoses. Though two causes I know of for bleeding after being fingered are:
1. Your Hyman is only partially torn and when being fingered it is torn some more causing some bleeding.
2. The person fingering you has scratched you internally and this is the cause of the bleeding. IF you are going to let someone finger you make sure their fingernails are well trimmed and well cared for so as not to injure you.
If the bleeding does not stop after a day or two you may want to see a doctor. If you are over 14 a Federal law called HIPPA allows for you to do so without parental knowledge or permission. Parents cannot be told why you sought medical advice for any question or treatment relating to your reproductive system.
If you wish see a doctor or to visit any woman's clinic or planned parenthood center and you are over 14 you should be allowed to carry your health insurance card. This is all you will need to be treated by any doctor other than the doctors you usually visit. The women's clinics will most likely see you at no charge if you can't pay and don't have an insurance card.
Hi all, I'm looking for a book on sexual pleasure/technique that is very aware/sensitive to issues of consent, age, and gender. I was in a relationship for a very long time and feel sort of...out of the loop? Thanks for any help!
I'm not sure exactly what you are looking for so I am not going to make a specific recommendation. I first used a search engine typing in your question title. This did not return anything useful. Then I typed in SEX IN THE MODERN AGE. This returned a host of titles with subject matter close to what I believe you are looking for. Try typing in to what ever search engine you use "SEX IN THE MODERN AGE" AND LOOK AT THE RETURNS.
Dating and sex has not changed much over the years. What has changed is consent and sexual harassment. When someone says no it is NO any further discussion or pushing, pleading or in any way trying to get that person to comply is considered sexual harassment. Depending on the degree of Harassment you could be charged with a felony.
Age of consent has changed as well. Many states has raised the age of consent to 18 and eliminated the grace years period, which varied from 2 to 4 years. If you are over 18 years of age make sure you know the laws in your state and you know the true age of your partner. If you are in doubt of your partners true age; my advice is to keep it in your pants.
Since you have not given your age there is one other law you need to be aware of. That is the Federal Mann act. Under this act it is a Federal Felony punishable for up to life in prison for taking a minor across state line for the purpose of sex. If you are an adult with a minor and you are charged with statutory rape of a minor having crossed state lines the Mann acat would apply.
Before I start, please do not tell me about the safety of having sex (using condoms to prevent pregnancy, to prevent getting STDs, even if you're on birth control pills, etc.) I am aware of all of these things.
Let me say that my boyfriend and I do not use condoms. We did at first, but I have been on birth control for the past three years. We are also both STD free.
So, my situation is I went through my boyfriend's wallet trying to get a hint of what I should get him for his birthday. His wallet didn't have many things in it and I found a condom. I got to thinking, if we don't usually use condoms, why would he carry one around with him? I thought maybe he forgot about it before he met me or he wanted to be safe just in case? But just in case what? Just in case another girl comes along that he wants to sleep with doesn't give me much of a reassurance.
I just want to understand why or the possibility of him having it would do. I know that if I got him a new wallet, he'll put another condom in it, too. I'm curious on what the purpose may be. Am I thinking too much into it? Should I even be worried about this?
I agree with the other writers, the condom is probably old and mostly forgotten about. When my father and I had "The Talk." Right after he told me to keep it in my pants he said if you can't do that then use one of these and handed me a condom. That one probably staid in my wallet right up until I entered the Air Force. IT and the wallet are probably buried in some landfill.
You also do not say how long the two of you have been going together. Young people have sex faster today then say there parents or grandparents did. So the condom could just be a leftover of his pre- relationship days with you. Men do not clean out their wallets as often as women do. I just cleaned out mine recently and found a receipt from two years ago.
I would say you are reading far to much into this.
to make the girl pregenent where or which of the two holes in the girl we want to give sperm ? is itis ass?
Are you for real?
Why is it that my boyfriend is not surcumsized and we have sex my vigina leaks after words?
The fact that your boyfriend is uncircumcised has nothing to do with what is leaking out of you. If you are having unprotected sex, not recommended, what is leaking out is the seminal fluid he ejaculates that your vagina cannot retain. This fluid is the vehicle by which the sperm is transferred from him to you. Much of this fluid is excess and still has sperm in it.
Enough sperm has been left behind to make you pregnant if you are not on some other form of birth control. This fluid is also pure protein and is why when giving him a BJ there is no problem with you swallowing it. How it tastes will depend on how healthy a diet he is on.
If you are using condoms then the fluid leaking from you is most likely your own lubrication that you make when sexually excited This lubrication makes penetration more comfortable for you and easier for him. Now there is a belief that there are some women that can ejaculate a seminal like fluid, without sperm as you do not have the testicles needed, during orgasm. There are some women that say they do, doctors and medical scientists are unsure of this. If this is so you may be one of the women capable of this ejaculation and this is what is leaking.
The 2 most likely reasons for leaking remain seminal fluid or your own lubrication.
what are the best positions to make a girl Finnish. Also I would like to know how to make her legs feel like jello. Plus I would like her to come to me all the time with anything. but it seems like recently that I cant get any girl it really hurts. but I seem to have my ex on my ass all the time but I would like to know how to I get rid of my physic ex.
Positions are not always the best way to orgasm for women. Much of whether you can be brought to orgasm depends on whether you are clitoral or vaginal in in how you are pleasured. Most women are pleasured vaginally and this is how most men learn to please a women especially during foreplay with fingering.
There are a great amount of women who do not receive a great amount of pleasure through vaginal stimulation but do get great pleasure and stimulation from clitoral stimulation. The best way to find out if you are clitoral or vaginal is through masturbation. See if you can finger yourself to orgasm. If you find it hard or impossible to orgasm through vaginal stimulation by fingering or use of a vibrator or dildo then you should try clitoral stimulation. Most likely you will orgasm this way.
If you are one of the women who are clitorally stimulated the you need to train your lover how to bake your excited and how to bring you to orgasm. This starts with communication. Communication is key to everything we do in life and sex is no different. Sex is a learned experience. The basics is inherent so that we can procreate. For greater pleasure we need to teach each other what gives us pleasure.
As I stated earlier men learn how to make love by watching porno. Most of the movies show very little stimulation of the clitoris so men need to be taught how to please clitoral women. Once you have explained you need more clitoral stimulation and more foreplay. Then you can look for positions that allow for greater contact with your clitoris. The missionary position with you grinding against each other is a good one. So is the women above for you can stimulate your clitoris yourself while riding him.
There are other positions you can search the web for but first you need to know what to search for and that starts with what I said in the beginning. Are you vaginal or clitoral in sensitivity?
Ok, so my step-sister gave me a doorknob (we are both 13) and she asked me to do more to her feet and fuck her. I really don't know what to do right now because she already knows I liked the doorknob she gave me. Please help.
I'm not understanding the doorknob thing but that's okay. Sex with a step-sibling is okay as you two are not related by blood.
What is not okay is two 13 year old step-siblings or any other 13 year olds engaging in sexual intercourse. You are both far too young to be doing this kind of sex. I'm not even sure mutual masturbation is right at your age.
You two have plenty of time to explore the world of sex. I understand you have sexual urges and that you may believe it is safer to have sex between you than with others your age. It is not safer. Even with condom use pregnancy is still a concern as a condom, when worn correctly, are only 80% effective in preventing pregnancy. Sex between you may be safe as far as STDS and HIV/AIDS but it does not limit the problem of pregnancy and she is too young to get birth control pills.
What you should be doing at this age is exploring your sexuality through masturbation and fantasy. Contrary to what many parents tell their kids there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is healthy, it is safe and most of all it relieves the sexual tension you are feeling which is brought on by puberty.
According to a recent survey 85% of the population from the age of puberty and older masturbate. Your parents most likely masturbate. They do so when the have sex which is called mutual masturbation. Hand jobs, fingering and oral sex all come under the heading of masturbation. Anything that would lead to a climax or a climax for either partner would come under the heading of masturbating or mutual masturbation. Masturbation is not a sin. Most religions do not condone it, just as parent don't but it is not sinful. Not even the Catholic church finds it sinful.
My advice is that in a few years, hopefully 4 or more, if you and your step sister still want to have sex, this would not be incest and nothing illegal or sinful about it. Until then you two should stick to masturbation or at worst mutual masturbation for sexual relief. The sexual tension you feel is normal as this is caused by hormones brought out by puberty. Masturbation would be normal and as I said it is healthy. Sexual intercourse at your age is not normal and it is dangerous.
i have an addiction to porn...how do i quit
I would like to know what you mean by addicted. The word addiction has taken on a life of its own lately. By addicted do you mean you sit in front of your computer or TV viewing porn to the exclusion of everything else? Are you able to do to other things like work, go to school, go out on dates, visit with friends and view porn only when you have nothing else to do? Is your porn watching somewhere in the middle of being totally absorbed by porn to be able to function without porn and viewing it only when you have down time.
If you cannot function at all without viewing porn in some manner. You can't work, go to school, take care of your proper hygiene then you have a porn addiction and you need help. If you like porn, you porn to masturbate to, are a teenager in the throes of puberty and has a life beyond porn such as school, dating and other things. Then relax your a normal teenager with overactive sex glands.
Today I believe it is Maxim magazine when I was a teenager it was Playboy that every teenage boy had a well worn copy of hidden in his room for masturbatory use. Most guy won't admit to it but we all had them and your friends do to.
Now in the event you are truly addicted and cannot function without porn you need professional help. Seek out the help of sex therapist. Yes there are psychologist that specialize in the area of sex. This is the psychologist that is best trained to help you.
If you're a teenager you are going to have to go to your parents and ask for help. Probably the best person for you to talk to is your dad. As I believe you are male and talking to mom may be embarrassing.
Used correctly for personal enjoyment there is nothing wrong with pornography. For teenagers it is a way to help relieve sexual tension and to learn about the female body and how to love the female body.
My only advice is to make sure you have a true addiction and not just embarrassed because you think you are the only one who enjoys pornography in your age group. You're not that I can assure you off.
I had sex with someone I've been seeing. For the first time, I had anal sex. I was not expecting that to happen. If I knew it was coming, I would have done an enema ahead of time. He still treated me well and acted as if everything was fine afterward. But now, he's not talking to me as much. I know that if you do anal, it's going to smell like poop. Now I'm just hoping he didn't try smelling his hand or whatever.
So, do guys get turned off if their penis smells like bad after having anal sex? Or are would they be satisfied that they even had sex, etc?
First off A guy really can't smell his penis unless there is a really bad odor coming from it.
If the anal sex is unplanned and something that just happened, which happens when the petting gets hot and heavy and you get to that point and she says I'm on my period. Then she say you can have bloody sex or my back door. This is one of those times when its unplanned.
Condoms should always be used during anal sex as the anus is full of bacteria that is not good for the penis to be exposed. A condom not only prevents this bacteria from infecting his penis it also prevents transfer of most STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus which is still largely attributed to anal sex.
If you enjoy spontaneous sex you should be carrying condoms in your purse for the reasons stated above. Even if you are on birth control until you are in a long term committed relationship and both tested you should make your partner use a condom. Remember every time you have unprotected sex you are having sex with every other partner that had unprotected sex with him or her.
Now as to your original question which is the reason I went through the above first. Had a condom be used there would be no smell left behind on his penis. Any smells or skid marks would be on the condom which he could just roll off. As for his finger it really does not get far enough up the anus to pick up anything so a bad smell probably is not there.
Do guys get turned off. Not by smells. If a guy gets turned off it is generally a realization of something that has been ingrained in him since his parents first had that birds and bee's story with him. What he has probably been told about anal sex and girls that allow boys to do such things dates back to Victorian England. Back then only prostitutes and slovenly girls allowed men to have anal sex with them. In fact the word slut originates around this time as well.
If this was his first time having anal sex then it may be he is fighting with himself. Just about every guy he knows talks about getting anal sex. Now he has had anal sex, it was unplanned and his feelings are in a twist.
Most guy know what they are getting into, no pun intended, and they don't care. They want to brag to their friends that so and so let them do her in the ass. Any offensive smell is out weighed by the bragging rights.
It is my feelings your friend is having an attack of conscious.
I'm a 14 almost 15 year old girl and I feel like I masturbate way to often. I masturbate about once a day but sometimes I do it 2-3 times a day depending on how I'm feeling. It doesn't get in the way of my schedule or anything because I do it in my bed at night. Is this to often? I feel like no one else masturbates, so that just makes me feel worse.
Relax your normal. Masturbating 2 to 3 times a day is normal for most teenagers, male or female. Masturbation is something most of us do not talk about among friends especially girls.
Boys on the other hand are a bit more open about it generally in a somewhat derogatory manner. An example would be talking about a sexy teacher a guy might say something like, "Man Miss X was dressed so sexy I had to go to the bathroom and beat off, or I went home and choked the chicken x times. This would be something said with other boys. They could also be talking about a female student, her again it strictly between 2 or 3 close guy friends.
Statistically speaking 85% of us, according to a recent survey, masturbate. This means in a house choke of 4 3.5 people masturbate. This would include parents who usually do so as part of foreplay to intercourse which would be mutual masturbation. This would include fingering, hand jobs, and oral sex.
As I said to begin with you are normal so relax.
I'm 29years oid, my boyfriend just disvirgin me somedays ago and the pains is much and my breast is bigger than each other? Pls help
Losing your virginity should not be cause for one breast to be bigger than the other. It is normal for one breast to be slightly different in size that the other. Is it possible that you just noticed the difference? If one breast is really different in size and shape this is a form of birth defect that can be corrected through surgery.
If this is what your seeing you should first contact your GYN for consultation. Once you are cleared by your GYN then find a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon for Breast Enhancement Surgery. Your GYN should be able to recommend one.
If both your GYN and the Plastic Surgeon agree this is a form of birth deformity your health insurance should pay for the surgery. Generally speaking Breast enhancement surgery is considered elective and not covered by Insurance. This is not elective in that it is corrective.
As to the pain you feel from losing your virginity. This should pass after a few days. You will probably feel more pain the next time you have intercourse and again the time after that. Each time the pain should diminish as your vagina muscles get us to being stretched.
You might also try Kegel Muscle exercises which some women say Increases pleasure for sexual activity by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. You can use a search engine to search for Kegel muscle exercises for women.
The more sexual intercourse you have the quicker the pain afterwards should resolve. If it doesn't then you need to see your GYN for something else could be a problem. Given how long you waited to give someone your virginity I would think the pain you are feeling is probably normal.
There is nothing wrong with waiting. I just hope your boyfriend appreciates the gift you have given him.
I m a boy nd my friend cums in my Ass ...
And blood did not relase.. Frm my ass
My friend is a Gymer
Is there any chanc of HIV Aids..???
Plzz Reply hurry
Unfortunately it sounds as if you two did not use a condom. Anytime you have unprotected sex be it Homosexual or heterosexual sex there is always the chance of an STD or HIV/AIDS transfer. This all depends on how clean the partners are. By clean I mean disease free.
Understand when you have intercourse with someone, be it anal or vaginal intercourse, and you do not use a condom. You are having sex with every person your partner has had unprotected sex with. A condom is known to prevent the transfer of most STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.
If you are going to continue having anal sex with anyone you should insist on him using a condom. Even if a girl uses a vibrator on you, insist the vibrator be covered in a condom. If you are bisexual and were to have sex with a girl make sure to use a condom.
Anal sex is thought to be the way that the Aids virus is most commonly transmitted. If you are this concerned I would suggest you go to a clinic and be tested.
will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up
I'm glad you added the last part. Judges are not cold hearted. For someone in a wheelchair sending them to jail for driving on a suspended license is not the only option available to the court. It is not only cruel towards you it is a hardship for the corrections system. One would think you would have to be in violation of driving under suspension multiple times for a judge to take such drastic punishment.
Suicide is not the answer especially to this problem. What you need is a lawyer. If you do not have a lawyer and cannot afford a lawyer the court will appoint one for you. You do not have to wait until you get to court to ask for a lawyer. Call the clerk of the court. The number should be on the back of the summons. Tell the clerk you have a summons to appear in court and cannot afford a lawyer and would like one a pointed for you. Then follow the clerks direction.
I don't know what state you are in but driving under a suspended license if given a summons is generally a misdemeanor offence punishable by a fine. If it is a felony charge and a first offence even a legal aid lawyer given your circumstances should be able to get the prosecutor to lower the charges to a misdemeanor charge with a fine and maybe some type of community service you are capable of doing. The fine can be paid in installments that can be worked out with the clerk of the courts.
I see nothing here to even consider ending one's life. Even if the judge were to want to lock you up it would most likely be in a halfway house. These are not all that bad. There are no cells you basically sleep there and spend your weekends there. During the day you do community service or you are allowed to go to your job. It is not near as bad as prison.
I am looking for easy-to-understand-and-see facts about male and female sexual anatomy. Can you suggest a video on YouTube and/or a webpage?
Using the Yahoo search engine I typed the following question into the search engine. "easy to understand male & female anatomy diagrams."
The return even before I finished entering the question gave me many choices. I selected the choice closest to your question and the page had many good returns to chose from all with either pictures or illustrations.
Type the question I used in to the search engine you use. You should get similar returns. If not go to yahoo.com and use their search engine.
I feel like my vagina is ugly is this normal
What if my boyfriend thinks its gross
I can tell you factually, since I am a guy, that none of us look at a vagina and think it is ugly. As a teenager or young adult if we are fortunate enough to see our girls vagina then what we are thinking is not what it looks like but "is she going to let me put my penis in her vagina and have sex?"
"When we get older and marry the vagina becomes the most beautiful thing in the world. Especially the day it delivers your firs child. As the father you’re in the delivery room and watch as you child suddenly appears from your wife's vagina. It is the most beautiful thing in the world to watch as a new life is born. The doctor hands you a pair of scissor you cut the cord and the nurse hands you your child who is only minutes old. You look back at your wife's vagina and you think when we can start making another baby.
No there are no ugly vaginas' only beautiful ones. At different ages a male sees a different beauty in a vagina but never ugly.
Would a guy have sex if we had our periods ?? I know there's a lot of different opinions in this, but for all the guys out there does it turn you off ? Or are you guys fine with it ? What are your thoughts on periods ?
I'm a guy and it doesn't bother me to have sex during my wife's period. In fact for some reason the urge to have sex when she is having her period is higher for me. I think it is because she gives of more pheromones or there is subtle change in her scent. The only thing I won't do and she doesn't ask for during this time is oral sex.
Know it also seem so to me that my wife is also, more sensual, I think that's the word, during this time. She seems to enjoy are sex more than when she is not having her period. About the only time she will say no to sex during this time is a day or two before and the first day of her period when her cramps may be bad.
During this time when we have sex we have old towels we use and at her request the lights are off. I'm comfortable either way and maybe it is me but I think the sex helps with the cramps. If that is truly the case and if for some reason I preferred not to have sex during this time. The fact is I love my wife and if sex made her more comfortable I could deal with my discomfort during this time.
I'm thinking about sex constantly I need a girl to have fun with please give me feedback don't be harsh.
Sometimes the unvarnished truth is harsh. If you are looking for lies and falsehoods stop reading.
Yes your horny, it is a fact of life for all teenagers. A trick mother nature plays on them when the enter puberty. I say a trick for you are far too young to be having sex, as in sexual intercourse with a girl.
I am very liberal about giving out information on sex. I belief the more you know the safer you are. Some of the fact involving sex at your age are:
1. Yes, you can get an erection and also impregnate a girl.
2. Some girls your age while looking like a women may not be able to accept a penis in their vagina. Certain chemical that allow the muscles of the vagina to stretch to accommodate a penis have yet to be released and would make intercourse painful if not impossible for her.
3. At your age the best way to relieve sexual tension is masturbation. You parents may have told you masturbation is dirty or sinful. They are not only wrong but hypercritical.
According to a recent survey 85% of us masturbate and this includes mutual masturbation of which oral sex is part of. Mutual Masturbation is usually performed as foreplay prior to intercourse. It includes fingering,
Hand Jobs and oral sex. While most religions, including the Catholic church do not condone masturbation they do not condemn it either so it is not as sin.
4. Once a girl has said no to sex any continued pressure you place upon her to have sex with you is sexual harassment, which is unlawful. Your age will not protect you from being arrested if her or her parents place charges. Most recently I read about an underage boy being prosecuted in Northern, Virginia for sexually harassing a girl. He is facing prison time if he is allowed to be charged as an adult which the prosecutor is attempting to do.
5. Maturity: Biologically your body is more mature then you are. You may think you are ready for se and you have all the urges for sex. You are just not mature enough to deal with the possible outcomes of what can happen when having sexual intercourse.
Many parents try to scare their children from masturbating because they fear it will lead them to wanting the real thing. Maybe it will and maybe it will keep them sexually satisfied until they are old enough to handle the responsibilities of a sex life. This is my feeling and why I tell it like it is.
At 14 you are not longer a child. You are old enough to know right from wrong and sex at your age is wrong for the reasons I gave and more. Find a quiet comfortable place to masturbate, close and lock the door so you are not intruded upon. Then find some pictures or fantasize and work of the tension. If you share your bedroom with a sibling, you morning or evening shower is an alternative location.
Can you get pregnant from giving a man a blow-job?
There is only one way to get pregnant. A male has to put his penis in a females vagina and ejaculate sperm. Sperm entering a female in any other way cannot make her pregnant.
I'm 20 years old and I'm a virgin, usually when I'm with my bf I'm very wet and he'll finger me but as soon as I cum I'll instantly get dry or I can be wet and as soon as he tries to insert me I get dry can anyone explain to me why this happens or how I can fix it because he feels like I don't want to be with him
Dragonflymagic hit most of the high-lights of why you may dry up when your boyfriend tries to enter you though she missed the biggest one. Stress and fear.
The fear of the pain losing your virginity will cause you is a very real emotion which will dry you up like a desert. This is normal and after a few sexual intercourses using a good lube you probably will not need the lube any more. It is also possible that you may not feel any pain given your age and the fact that your boyfriend has been fingering you.
The biggest pain females feel when losing there virginity is mostly from the tearing of the Hymen. Given your age, the fact that your boyfriend fingers you and if you use Tampons you may have already destroyed your Hymen. The cause of pain is when the male penis is larger than an average vagina will accept and needs to stretch to accept. It is the stretching of the muscles that causes pain to a much lesser degree. How much pain is going to depend on his size, how relaxed you can be and how tender he can be while making that all important first insertion. You will expand to accommodate him if you can relax. Just remember what the vagina is designed to deliver into the world.
Dragonflymagic is also correct in that you and your boyfriend need to talk. Communication is important in everything we do and this includes our sex life. Since sex is a learned experience we need to talk to each other to explain our likes and dislikes. In order for you to relax and accommodate him besides adding over the counter lubrication. You need assurances that he will be gentle. You can't have these assurances or accept these assurances when he is on top of you. You need to talk about what you need to hear before you get in bed so that you are comfortable that he will be gentle.
Also sex needs to happen someplace you are comfortable. Someplace that is secure from intrusion and safe. All of this goes into your ability to relax the muscles needed to allow him to enter you, especially on the special first time.
I know people are going to criticize and tell me I need to see a shrink. I honestly probably do need to. But it doesn't help me now in this moment.
I am only attracted to married men. Twice my age, gray hair, sexy as fuck in my opinion. I want to fuck their brains out, give them head until they cum down my throat, etc. I'm 21 years old, and a virgin.
So yeah, this probably makes no sense. How do I know what I want if I've never had experiences? I know. I get turned on and wet whenever I am around these men I speak of. One is my boss, the one I want to sleep with the most, and that is dangerous. But I can't help it. I want him. I want my friend's husband. I want any married man willing to call me a dirty little girl and fuck me.
WHAT CAN I DO????
I'm sick of sleepless nights because I'm lonely. I want a man next to me. But I hate guys my age; they're unreliable, poor, irresponsible, and ignorant. I want a MAN. I'm so depressed about this, I selfharm and I purge. I just...I need help?
A 21 year old virgin, a rarity these days but nothing to be ashamed of. While I by no means a psychologist or psychiatrist I think being a virgin plays into your fantasy of wanting older men. I agree with you guys your age are still clumsy and everything you said about them plus in bed they are still all about their own pleasure.
Now what I believe you want and I agree you deserve is; you want to be made love to. Not screwed, fucked or any other slang word you can up to for your first time. From my point of view this is what you deserve for remaining true to yourself for all this time.
The only thing wrong is how you wish, or feel you need to go about finding someone who will make love to you. Yes older married men are more practiced in the art of lovemaking, RED FLAG THEY ARE MARRIED & OFF LIMITS. If you were married you would not want some 21 year old going after your husband, would you.
There are older men who are not married, never been married maybe divorced or widowed. These men are just as practiced in the art of lovemaking as a married man and they are available with no restrictions on them. There is nothing wrong with a 21 year old girl dating an unmarried 31, 45 or 55 year old man if this is what she TRULY wants. The operative word here is UNMARRIED. There are plenty of unmarried older men out there and if this is your desire & I will support you 100%. For this you do not need any medical help or advice.
Now as to the self harm. This does require medical intervention, especially the purging. While the self harming is dangerous if you hit a vein, the purging is more dangerous for I'm sure you are not aware of the harm you are doing to yourself.
When you purge on a regular basis, this means any time you force yourself to vomit more than once, you upset the electrolyte balance in your body. The body is a machine which runs off of electrical energy of sorts and when you upset the balance of this energy you can cause a heart attack or kidney and liver failure. If these things are severe enough you die. To a lesser degree the acids in you stomach can erode your esophagus causing other problems to the point you may need a feeding tube.
Purging is very serious and is called Bulimia. People who suffer from Bulimia are called Bulimic and are suffering from an eating disorder. This is serious and needs the intervention of a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Sometimes hospitalization is required.
While I consider the first part of your question totally normal. The second part about self harm and purging concerns me lot. My advise is: Go ahead and date older men if you want to just not married men if you wish. Though I urge you to get professional help for the cutting and purging. This would start with a visit to your family doctor telling him or her about it. Then follow the doctors advice.