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okay so this is so awkward but i am 16 and me and my boyfriend want to have sex but i am scared because sometimes when i cum my vagina smells like fish, i wash it everyday at least once or twice and still nothing, im scared because we have planned it for this saturday but i dont want to smell or taste nasty, and i do not want to go to the doctor about it

You should not be washing your vagina multiple times a day. Once a day in the shower is all you need to do and wiping yourself after using the toilet is proper hygiene.

Now every woman has a scent which emanates from her vagina especially when she is sexually excited. These are pheromones and just like are four legged friends they are meant to attract the opposite sex, when we were still walking on all fours. That scent still does attract and make the opposite sex attracted to you and plays a very large part in foreplay and intercourse.

How this scent actually smells differs somewhat day to day depending on different variables. Not getting to personal but my wife's scent is stronger in the morning and when we have the time we have a good time. It is also much different in the evening, not as strong more musky and some may say fishy smelling. It really depends on what she has eaten that day. What you eat during the day may be why you have said that "some time when you cum your vagina smells fishy."
I suggest the following:

First, stop washing your vagina multiple times a day; you are supposed to have a scent from there especially when excited.

Second, do not douche especially with over the counter products. Women do not need to Douche unless there doctor tells them to and only then and for the period of time the doctor says to. Douching destroys both the good and bad bacteria. Also you really do not need those feminine hygiene sprays. They are a waste of money.

Since you are concerned and if you are not already having regular GYN exams or have not had one recently. See your GYN and make sure that your incessant washing has not caused any type of bacterial imbalance or infection.

Note: As a parent and grandparent I would be remise if I did not comment on 16 year olds having sex. I'm not that old fashion enough to tell you not to have sex at your age. What I will tell you is to try and wait a bit longer. There are other ways of satisfying both yours and your boyfriends’ sexual urges without actual intercourse.

Sex for teenagers is not what it is meant to be especially for the female. Why, mainly because what a female needs to relax and enjoy sex can't be had by teenagers. Teenagers always worry about being caught, being intruded upon as well as finding someplace comfortable and safe to have sex. Then there is the worry about pregnancy. It is truly worth it to wait 2 more years until you are of legal age to at least rent a motel room.

If I have not given you pause to reconsider having sex now. Then when you’re visiting your GYN ask your doctor or rather tell your doctor you wish to be seen under the rules of HIPPA.

Being over 14 years of age and being seen for something that is part of your reproductive system. By Federal Law called HIPPA you have the right to confidentiality. Meaning mom cannot be in the exam room with you and can never see you medical records for these visits or be told why you are seeing the doctor or what you are being treated for. Because of this you can ask for birth control medication and the doctor must prescribe it. You do not need parental permission.

Having birth control medication does not relieve you of practicing safe sex. Your partner still needs to wear a condom as this protects both of your from many of the STDS and the HIV/AID virus.

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Im 13 and I just can't wait for sex any more I don't know why but I just wanna loose my virginity. I promised the lord and my parents ill wait till25 but i can't wait and I'm tired of jerking off.( even though it is satisfying).

I can understand not wanting to wait until you 25 to have your first sexual intercourse. Wanting to have sex at 13 is more hormonal caused by puberty than it is an actual need? Masturbation, (jerking off) is the proper way to relieve the feelings and sexual anxiety you are having from all the new hormones floating around in you.

It is really strange that parents today and before them still tell their children that it is wrong to masturbate especially when they themselves masturbated at your age and according to a recent survey they probably still do except its now called foreplay.

According to this survey 85% of us masturbate. That means in a family of four with children above the age of puberty, 3.4 of you masturbate or more realistically 3 of you do. It is not a sin by any of the recognized religions and it will not grow hair in the palm of your hand nor will you go blind.

The only time masturbation is a problem is if it is an all-encompassing thing to the exclusion of everything else. For a male your age, jerking off 2, 3 or even 4 times a day would be normal. You will taper off as you become adjusted to the hormones in you.

In fact masturbation versus teenage sex can be more satisfying. Sex is not a sport to see how many goals you can score. Sex is not something you do to prove you love or have someone prove their love for you. Sex is a very intimate act that requires privacy and comfort to be done properly. If you cannot provide a secure, comfortable and private place for sex then your partner can't relax and enjoy it. If she isn't relaxed then frankly you may as well be jerking off for you can get more pleasure from Miss Thumb and her 4 friends then you will from your partner.

So relax, continue to masturbate. There is plenty of stroke material to be had on the web; for as far as finding a willing girl your age the chances of that or probably zero. If you coerce a girl with some line like, "IF you love me you will have sex with me." That is sexual harassment and you can face legal charges.

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Can I be pregnant when his pennis didn't enter my virgina but we were both naked and I released since then I ve not missed my period I went for a blood test and the result was negative.it happened around febuary and I did the test May.

Let see you had a blood test which was negative. Four months has passed and you not missed any periods. How much more evidence do you need that you are not pregnant.

Your period is the cleansing of your womb; making it ready for a fertilized egg during the next cycle. If you have sex and then get your period the chances are good your not pregnant. If you have sex and then get successive periods the chances are excellent you are not pregnant.

There are cases where pregnant women get something that looks like a period but it is actually more like spotting.

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How do u know when the baby's made? And if he puts his penis in the vigina will i get pregnant?

It would be a bit easier to answer this question if we knew why you were asking. Given the last part of your question I'm going to assume you are a young teenager of having her first sexual experience.

Most women, about 85%, ovulate between the 7th and 21st day of their cycle based on a 28 day menstrual cycle. This is the time when it is most likely that a woman can get pregnant as this is when your ovary will release and egg. Sperm will be viable, live, in a females body for 3 days so if a woman wishes to get pregnant she should have intercourse every 3 days during this time. If she does not want to get pregnant she should not have intercourse during this time.

For the other 15% of women they can ovulate at any time. Even during their period so it is very important to know when you ovulate. The cramping you feel between periods may be because you are ovulating or it may not be. The best way to find out is to get a kit which will help you track when you ovulate. They are sold at drug stores.

The answer to the second part of your question is. If you are having unprotected sex, which you should never have until you are in a long term relationship and are older. Then you should consider that anytime a boy’s penis enters your vagina you could get pregnant, even if he does not cum inside you.

During sex a male emits a fluid, precum, which he has no control over. This is emitted as a lubricant to aid in entering you and during intercourse. This precum has millions of sperm in it, more than enough to get a woman pregnant.

This is one reason you should always make the male wear a condom. The second is for protection against STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. While a condom does not protect against all STDSD it does protect against many STD and HIV/AIDS virus.

Never; never trust your partner to be STD free unless you both have been tested together. Even if he says he is a virgin. One girl wrote us wanting to know how she got Herpes from a guy who told her he was a virgin. He told her he must have picked it up from a toilet seat. Not possible the only way to get that is from someone that has it.

Never trust a horny guy looking for sex. As the girls said when I was younger, "no rubber, no lover." That should be your motto if you’re going to have sex even if you are on birth control.

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Im a male wanting to g
iue give head

Try your question again as it makes no sense to any of us.

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Why does the boys sperm slides back down when i have intercourse n my hymen is broken but everytime we have sex it hurts when he go deep why ??? I need to know asap im worried because i try to get pregnant

The best sex position for getting pregnant is the doggy with your head down and ass up. The male enters you from behind and cums in you. IF you can stay in this position for 15 minutes after he cums in you. If not roll on to your back and bring your knees to your chest. This will roll your pelvis up and keep most of the sperm and other fluid in your vagina.

After 15 minutes you may stand, use the toilet and do whatever, have more sex if you want. The initial amount of sperm will have had a good head start in the race to impregnate you and not slide back out.

As for the pain you feel. There are several reasons you maybe feeling pain. The two biggest are primarily the size of your partners penis. The average Vagina is 5 to 6 inches in depth and 1 1/2 to 2 inches in diameter when aroused. If your partners penis is longer than 6 inches and is pounding away at you he is hitting your cervix which is causing you pain. If so he needs to adjust his stroke so as not to hit the bottom of your vagina. If he is bigger than 2 inches in circumference than a good lube is needed and he needs take his time and allow you to adjust to him.

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My boyfriend and I have almost gone all the way with each other. I love him and he loves me..he makes sure to tell me I'm gorgeous an ld beautiful everyday. He's just so nice to me and loves even the worst of my flaws. For the past couple weeks he has wanted to...finger ne and I know that I want it too. The only problem is that I'm insecure about my..down there area.. I'm afraid of what he'll say or think or that it won't be good enough or that something will be wrong with it. I just don't know why I feel this way or how to come to terms with it and accept the way i was made.

It is funny how we all feel the same about our sexual body parts, especially when allowing someone of the opposite sex to see them for the first time. We all feel insecure that our lover is going to find something wrong with what we have.

If your lover really loves you and is not just lusting for you. Then what you have is what your lover wants and they are not concerned with how it looks, tastes, smells or how big or small it may be. They love you and your sexual parts are part of you which allow them to make love to you.

There is a big difference to sex when someone loves you then when someone is just lusting for you. Many guys confuse the words love and lust. In fact many believe the two words are synonymous. Sex with them will be different as they will only be interested in satisfying themselves. They too are only interested in what you and is what they want without concern for how it looks. The difference will be in how you feel as the use you for their own pleasure.

Besides my advice not to worry how your sexual parts look. Please make sure your boyfriend really loves you and is not lusting for you.

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So my boyfriend fingers me often, but today we went to the beach and I let him when we stopped on our way back to my house where he was dropping me off. I know that it's bad to let him finger me when his hands are dirty and I know that that's why it's hurting so bad right now. But I can't even pee or touch it in the slightest bit without wanting to scream. I can't tell my mom or go to the doctor but I know that if I keep it clean it'll go away. What do I do for the pain until it does? Help!

Okay it is most likely that you have some sort of bladder or urinary tract infection. This is not the result of your boyfriend fingering you. Infections take time to take hold. If you had written that you boyfriend fingered you two or three days ago I might agree with you.

If are over 14 years of age, which I believe you are, you do not need parental permission to see a doctor. There is a law called HIPPA which is a federal law passed by congress which give young people 14 and over confidentiality over their reproductive system. Since the urinary tract is part of the reproductive system, in that it is part of your vagina. This problem is covered under HIPPA.

Under this law you can make a doctors appointment, be seen by and be treated by a doctor and no one not even you parents can know why you saw the doctor or what treatment the doctor provided. You can see any doctor you wish including any of the walk-in clinics or hospital emergency rooms.

Congress wrote this into HIPPA so that young people like you would seek medical help for problems such as this when the felt the could not go to their parents for help. No one but you and your doctor will know what you were treated for and no the doctor cannot tell if your a virgin or not. Only whether or not your Hymen is intact which is not a sign of virginity.

At your age and the fact that you are dating and riding in cars other than with family you should have a copy of family insurance card with you at all times. If you do not then I suggest going to a local hospital ER. They must treat you and they then can send the bill home which can be sent to the insurance company for payment.

You need to see a doctor for you either have a urinary infection or a yeast infect. Until you can see a doctor talk to your local pharmacist who also must keep your information confidential under HIPPA. As he or she may be able to offer an over the counter product to help with pain especially if it is a yeast infection. Yeast infections are something as a women you can look forward to experiencing many times as they are quite common for women.

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If i had sex in ass but my sperm have reached her vagina can she be pregnant?

It is almost impossible for sperm to leak out of your butt hole and into your vagina. Even if it did the sperm would most likely be dead as the anal cavity is filled with bacteria that would kill off the sperm.

Suggestion: If you were to engage in anal sex the bacterial I spoke of above is also dangerous for the male as it can cause any number of urinary problems for him. IF you do engage in anal intercourse he should use a condom and when done he should wash his groin area and penis with warm soapy water.

Anal sex is an alternative to vaginal sex and you cannot get pregnant from anal sex. While many couples enjoy anal sex as a safe way not to become pregnant. Safe sex practices should still be followed.

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When I go to the doctor I want to know what they ask because if they are going to tell my mom I play with myself I am not going for any reason until I live on my own. Please help!

If you are 14 years of age or older you do not have to worry about any questions a doctor might ask you concerning your reproductive system. I will explain why below shortly.

To answer your question doctors will only ask question relevant to what problems you present to them and then based on their examination of you and what they may see upon examination. So it is unlikely that a Doctor is going to ask you if you masturbate. It is more likely based on whatever problem you present with that the doctor will ask if you are sexually active. All a doctor can tell by examination is that your Hyman may be ruptured. In today’s world through activities and use of Tampons a woman's Hyman can be ruptured without ever experiencing sex.

What is important is to answer the doctors’ questions truthfully so that the doctor may properly care for you. To make this possible Congress passed a law giving anyone 14 years of age or older Medical Confidentiality. What this means for you specifically is you do not have to wait until you live on your own to see a doctor?

Because this law gives medical confidentiality parents cannot know anything about doctor’s visits related to any visit for problems related to the reproductive system. This includes the urinary track as well since it requires the examination of either the male or female sex organ which is part of the reproductive system.

The law is called HIPPA; under this law parents may not be in the exam room with their child, may not be told what the doctor is examining their child for or what the doctor treats them for. The only way they can be told is if their child gives the doctor written consent to tell them. Parents cannot force a child to undergo any examination or treatment; this includes abortions or stop any exam or treatment. All the person over 14 needs to tell the doctor is they are invoking their rights under HIPPA. The doctor and or the staff will protect your rights from there.

Also under this law anyone 14 years of age does not need parental permission to see a doctor. The may make an appointment to see a doctor, be treated by the doctor all without parental permission or knowledge. They can see any doctor of their choosing or go to any of the women's or free medical clinics. Birth control is also available and does not need parental permission.

Congress did not pass this aw to promote teenage sex. They passed this law so teenagers would go to doctors or clinics for answers to questions they might be too embarrassed to ask their parents. To go to see a doctor if something was bothering them related to their reproductive system.

In short there is no reason not to take proper care of your reproductive system while you live at home. Cancer and other illnesses know no age limits. Proper preventative care of your reproductive system now will insure that you will have the ability to have Children in the future.

Just remember when you see the doctor to say "I want MY HIPPA RIGHTS." If mom was intending to go in to the exam room with you she will be told to wait in the waiting room and whatever you and the doctor discuss stays in the exam room. It cannot go back to mom or the doctor is looking at 5 years in Jail.

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I've been having sex for quite some time now and I know that when I cum in a girl then we have sex again, the friction and bodily fluids will create this white foamy substance that comes out. So I'm dating this girl and a while back the white foam came out but I hadn't cum inside her yet. My guess is that the remainders of someone else's semen was inside of her and when she and I had sex it brought it out. After all, that's why the penis is shaped the way it is, isn't it? to displace other male's semen. Anyways, we had a huge fight over it and I kinda broke up with her, I felt bad for breaking up over just a suspicion but mind you, she has broken my trust before, not with cheating, but with small stuff. So we got back together and just today the same thing happened again with the foam. She denies it to no end, and I have no way to prove it. I think shes the kind of person that even when confronted with the truth she would deny it, unless I actually had proof. Am I being unreasonable to break it off again? I know that if I really don't trust her I shouldn't be with her, but sometimes I think I'm being paranoid. And I know the vagina does different secretions, but I know the exact foam and what it looks like and how its formed, and I know her thick creamy cum from her thin lubricating cum and the only way I've seen the foam form there is when sperm have been in there. What do you think guys? Please help!

Before you toss this woman aside you need to get your facts straight. There are many reasons why her discharge during intercourse may be different from time to time. Including how well you are performing in getting her excited before actual intercourse.

The more time spent on foreplay the more excited she will become and the wetter she will be. Now this fluid is meant to lubricate and can be very thin or it can be mucus like depending on many things including how she is feeling that day and her diet.

Then of course there is the type of birth control she may be using. Certain birth control options require the use of spermicides these will look like what you are describing when mixed with her own vaginal fluids. Then of course if she has any type of vaginal infection the medication may be some type of cream put directly into the vagina.

As you can see from the above these are just a few reasons why your girlfriend may be having different types of discharges during intercourse with you. From my own experience with my wife having sex before going out for the evening and again when coming home I have not seen a change in her fluid discharge on me or the sheets. I would say that unless it is immediately and I do mean immediately after she has sex with someone that you have sex with her. You would not see a difference in vaginal discharge as most of the fluids would have drained or been absorbed by the time you and she had sex.

Are you being paranoid? I think so, you have nothing to actually prove she is not being faithful for as you can see there are many reasons why her discharge can be different each time you have sex.

Not trusting her is a whole different story and has little to do with sex or cheating on you, it is more of an instinctive reaction. The trust I'm speaking of comes when she says she is not cheating on you. If you do not believe you then leave her. Just do not base your reasons on the discharge you see during sex because you are most likely wrong in your reasoning.

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is it wrong to want to fuck my man in his ass

What happens in the privacy of ones bedroom stays in the bedroom. Any sexual practice between two consenting partners is never weird. The operative word here is CONSENTING. As long as both partners and adults and consent to what ever the other may want to do or try then it is not weird to them.

If your husband is consenting and enjoys receiving anal sex then their is nothing wrong with it. It is only wrong is you force him or coerce him into allowing you to do so on him.

There are many different fetishes people satisfy or games people play in the privacy of their bedroom that other people might find weird. That's fine they don't have to they them or play them. If the partners playing them or trying them enjoy them then there is nothing wrong with doing so.

Short answer to your question. as long as your husband is CONSENTING, their is nothing wrong with it.

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I want my best guy friend to believe that I truly like him he's 13 I'm 12, he told me to do so I must arouse him. I will not go further, but how do I give him a bonar? Please no comments about my age. Btw I'm a girl.

Sorry but age is a factor in this answer. Your boyfriend should not need you to do anything to give him a boner at his age. Teenage boys get them without any thought several times an hour; it a hormonal thing which is part of puberty. At his age he should be going through puberty.

I remember when I was his age most of us boys walked around school with our books in front of our pants to hide the fact that we had boners. I'm fairly certain the same is still true with boys at your school.

Walking hand in hand in the hallways with my girlfriend was enough to cause an erection (proper name for a boner), once again more hormonal than a sexual thing. You should not have to do anything. Nor at your age should you be doing anything more than simply kissing and hugging him to give him an erection.

If simple kissing and hugging is not doing it then he needs to have a talk with his dad and a check up by his doctor to see why he is not going through puberty. It would be rare but not unusual for a boy his age not to be in puberty. He would be a late bloomer just as a girl who doesn't get her period until she is 15 or 16 is considered a late bloomer.

At your age you should be doing no more than holding hands, hugging and kissing. Other things you should be aware of about boys. If a boy is asking you to do as your boyfriend is; this is called sexual harassment for one thing. HE should not be asking you to do these things. It also means like all teenage boys he is confusing love and lust. Next he will be asking to feel your breasts or to see them. If you say no he may say if you love me you will let me. Here again this is more lustful than love. It goes on from there until he is asking you to haves sex with him to prove your love for him. Sex is not how you prove your love for someone. Sex is the outgrowth of love.

Just be careful you boyfriend may be leading you down a road you should not be going.

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I would like to sex a long time with my wife, but how?

It depends what you mean by SEX? If you mean actual intercourse because you ejaculate quickly there are techniques you can learn to delay ejaculation. There are also desensitization creams you can purchase over the counter at the drug store. If you don't see them ask the pharmacist or go on line and put "desensitization cream" in a search engine. You will get a number of returns.

If you are asking how to lengthen the time you and your wife actually make love before and after having intercourse. That is a very intimate question that would require finding out more about your sex life. Do you have foreplay? What types of foreplay do you do? Do you ever role play? Things like that so we could make suggestions.

Sex is a learned activity. Intercourse itself is an animalistic instinct we all know how to do. Partners in a committed relationship need to sit down and talk about their likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. Where they like to be touched, how they like to be touched.

Women especially as there are women who get excited vaginally and there are women who are excited clitorally. Men need to know this as it is important to know during for play. What sex positions do you like and does she like. Anal sex, oral sex and fetishes all need to be discussed in order to have a happy sex life together.

Remember how you could make out for hours with a girl when you were a teenager and dating. One way of extending having sex with your wife would be by role playing a teenage date and start making out on the couch or maybe find a lovers lane and make out in the car. The difference is that you know you will ultimately hit a home run but still the excitement of the make out is there.

This is the best I can offer without information you may not wish to share.


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Can you pop you own cherry by masturbation?

Depends what you mean by "pop my own cherry."

Today’s definition of popping a cherry means losing one’s virginity. For that the accepted way to do that by definition is a males' penis must enter the females’ vagina.

If this is your question; then the answer is no; you cannot do so through masturbation.

If you are asking can you rupture your Hymen through masturbation? Then the answer can be yes depending how you masturbate and if you use your fingers or anything else to penetrate your vagina.

If you use tampon you may have already ruptured your Hymen.

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how should i show my boovs to a guy????

By asking this question I believe you may be to young to be showing your Boobs, not boovs, to anyone except your doctor. So wait a few years before doing so.

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how to get girlfriend to blow your friends?

You don't; you let your friends find their own girlfriends to do that for them.

Try putting yourself in her place. Sex for a woman is much different than it is for a man. Be it oral, anal or regular vaginal sex it is the woman that is allowing a man to penetrate her body with his. This is a very intimate act one that requires trust and love on the part of the women. Now along comes her boyfriend a person she loves and says "Hey babe how about giving Johnny a blow job while I watch." How would you feel if you were in her place?

I know what I would say. I would tell you to get hosed and go find a new boyfriend. I'm not saying this isn't done; that people don't swap partners or there aren't people that don't enjoy threesomes or group sex. Those that do, do so because they want to not because someone wants them to do it.

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So i'm 16 years old and my mom recently been asking me questions amif im still a virgin and stuff, could she actually take me to a doctor and could determine if i've been sexually active ? Even though I don't want to? Without my permission?

There are two things here that are in your favor as to what mom can and cannot do or what she may find out as to whether or not you’re a virgin.

A doctor cannot tell if you a virgin or not. All a doctor can tell is if your Hymen is intact. If there were semen in your vagina during an examination then the doctor would know if you were having sex. But your mother cannot force you to have this type of examination against your will.

If you live in the U.S.A. and given the fact that you are over 14 years of age, you are covered by a law Congress passed called HIPPA. In this law is a section covering young people 14 years and older giving them total medical confidentiality over their reproductive system.

What this means is no one including your parents can know anything related to any doctor visit, any examination or treatment that involves a young person’s reproduction system.

In your case this would mean if you did consent to going to the doctor. Once with the doctor all you need to say is, "I want my rights under HIPPA." The doctor would then ask your mother to leave the room if she is with you.

If you allowed the doctor to proceed with the examination, which would not be a bad idea if you have not had one in a year." Then the results of that examination remain confidential and can only be told to those people you give the doctor expressed permission in writing. Because of the language in the law you can also ask the doctor for birth control medication and the doctor, unless there is medical reason not too, must provide a prescription for it. The pharmacist may not release information about any medication that would be related to the treatment of conditions related to the reproductive system without permission so there is no way for mom to know.

Congress passed this law not to promote sex between young people but to give them a place to go to get answers to questions or treatment for something they might be too embarrassed to go to their parents with. This law gives you the right to make appointments and see doctors related to anything to do with your reproductive system without parental knowledge or permission.

My suggestion is that rather than get in a fight with mom. IF she is insistent you be seen by a doctor so she can know if you are still a virgin; then go with her. Read any papers the doctor’s office give you to sign carefully because among them will be the HIPPA consent form. Make sure moms name does not appear on it anywhere. WHEN IT IS YOUR TURN TO SEE THE DOCTOR TELL THE NURSE OR THE DOCTOR YOU WANT YOU RIGHTS UNDER HIPPA. Let them inform your mother of your rights to confidentiality and they will support those rights.

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Hello Advicenators, First of all I would like to note that this is not my account. My friend is letting me use hers because she thought this website would help me figure this out.

I`m an 18 years old female. Three nights ago, my boyfriend came to sleep over my house. He came late at night and we had sex..lots of it and by that I mean it lasted a long time. In the morning, we had more sex..lots of it and at night again...also lots of it and then he left and went to his house. The following morning, my vagina had an irritation but I did`nt worry too much because it has happened before (where my vagina had an irritation after sex). This morning, I had a big, thick, white discharge on my vagina and I started to freak out. My vagina still has an irritation and the discharge keeps coming. Is this because we had too much or is there something wrong with me?

If you’re concerned about an STD they generally do not manifest themselves the next day. Discharges from your vagina can be normal and I think you would know a normal discharge from one that is not normal. This, "big, thick, white discharge," does not sound normal." If it happens again you should definitely see your GYN.

As to the irritation you are getting. This is very possibly from too much sexual activity. Your vagina may not be producing enough lubrication after the first or second intercourse. You might want to try a good lubricant like K-Y Jelly to keep you well lubricated during sex and to prevent irritation.

One other thing which you did not write about; did this discharge have any type of abnormal odor or scent to it. If it did this is a sign of some type of infection and you should see your doctor ASAP.

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Can someone please explain to me what's abusive about Fifty Shades of Grey.

I'm a soon to be 24 year-old woman who is highly turned on by the type of material in the book. Although I have never engaged in BDSM, I love it when my boyfriend dominates me, and I fantasize about engaging in the activity.

Is BDSM abusive? Is there something wrong with me thinking so highly in allowing my boyfriend who I trust to dominate me?

Will I allow my relationship to become dangerous if I tell him to engage in this kind of behavior?

Everybody's views on BDSM are different. There is also varying Degrees of BDSM. One type of BDSM is the rape fantasy that many women are supposed to have. Another is being tied to the bed and letting him have his way with you. BDSM could also include him allowing others to use you.

Then there is BDSM that includes pain this is the "D" of BDSM and could be simply allowing him to spank you or maybe canning or whipping you. These are fairly standard forms of pain inducing parts of BDSM. There are harsher forms such as nipple and clit clamps. It gets worse from here.

I am quite liberal in my views on sex. I believe that nothing done in the privacy of one’s home or bedroom between consenting adults is weird. The operative words here are CONSENTING and ADULTS. No one should be forced to do anything they are not comfortable with; be it a sexual position or type of sex act.

If you wish to explore the world of BDSM I see nothing wrong with this provided you and your boyfriend sit down and discuss it first with your clothes on. Make up safe words so you each know when the other has reached their limit. Decide what and how you both wish to explore this world for it can be quite dark. Wherever this leads you should never leave permanent scars or injuries for that is going too far.

Together explore the world of BDSM, and what it really means before you actually participate. Make up your rules and know your limitations. When you are both in agreement then go ahead and explore and I hope you find what you’re looking for. If anyone thinks you’re weird for doing so they are just closed minded.

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