The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.


is mansturbation one of the big reasons for hairfall..??.since i have read it somewhere so just want to confirm that..!!

What you read or heard is called an "Old Wives Tale." It is what mothers primarily and some fathers tell their children to try to keep them from masturbating; which is hypocritical of then for they themselves are most likely part of the 85% of the population that masturbates. Masturbation in the form of mutual masturbation is a form of foreplay people do when they are making love. As horrid as this may be to you; you parents probably still have a sex life and they do enjoy or should enjoy a fair amount of foreplay prior to intercourse.

So all the Old Wives tales about your hair falling out or you'll go blind or that you will grow hair in the palm of your hand is untrue. Why do parents tell their children this; mainly because masturbation feels good? In fact it feels good and is considered a substitute for the real thing. Parents worry that if you masturbate you will chase after the real thing. If you do and are successful then there is a high probability that some girl will get pregnant. This is what worries parents.

Masturbation itself is actually very healthy. It relieves the sexual tension all teenagers get and adults too. Rather than chase after some young girl and run the chance of her getting pregnant or going to a street walker and catching a disease masturbation is much safer and very pleasuring; just as long as it is not an all-encompassing activity to the exclusion of everything else.

When you need to masturbate go in your room, close and lock your door, if you can, so as not to be intruded on. Get undressed and get into bed. Now you can turn down the lights and fantasize about sex and allow your hands to roam your body and learn about where and how you like to be touched. This is the preferred way or with a magazine or in front of your computer. If you cannot get total privacy in your room then the second most preferred way is to stroke of in the bath or shower.


Everytime me and my boyfriend be making out , he fingers me & it hurts .. He did it twice and each time hurts . I don't know if maybe I'm tensing up or something . But it really hurts . And I don't know why .

IF you are a virgin and are not able to use Tampons because you cannot insert them without it being painful. Then when your boyfriend tries to but his finger in you the pain you feel is the same.

Why is this happening. Why is this happening is hard to say. You may be too young to have anything inserted in your vagina, which would include having sex as having a penis inserted would be very painful. The reason being is as girls go through puberty their outer body changes faster than their sexual organs do. Yes you look like a woman and you may be getting your period. What has not happened or may not have happened yet is the hormones puberty release necessary to unlock your vaginal muscles which allows your vagina to stretch has not happened yet

Remember what comes out of your vagina. The pain of childbirth is not solely caused by your vagina stretching to accommodate the baby exiting as it is doing what it is designed to do. To allow something to enter or exit more painlessly the mussels need to release and this is done when the receive the proper hormones to do so.

Another reason may be that your Hymen is still intact and his fingers are pushing against it causing you pain.


Why can't I cum when I masterbate for a long time?

There are a number of different reasons as to why you are unable to ejaculate while masturbating. The first and most common reason has mostly to do with your age.

A boy does not have to go through puberty to get an erection, you have been getting them since you were born. As you approach puberty it is easier to summon an erection or get one because something you see sexually stimulates you. Until you enter puberty your body will not have the needed chemicals to manufacture ejaculate though you should be able to have what is called a dry climax.

Now if you have entered puberty which could happen as early as age 11 or as late as your late teens. Then you should be able to have a wet climax. If you have entered puberty and you know this for sure then you may need to see a Urologist type of doctor for this may be a medical problem. I'm not a doctor so I cannot say just what the problem could be. The most serious of the problems would be a prostate problem which is a gland responsible or which makes it possible to ejaculate. A doctor can feel and stimulate this gland by putting a finger up your rectum. Get use to this exam as from puberty till you die this will be part of every physical you have.

The simpler of the problems might be that your body might not be making the chemicals needed to cause a wet ejaculation. If this is the problem there may be pills you could take to correct this problem.

Now I know going to a parent with this, mom or dad, is embarrassing. How do you tell either of them that first you've been masturbating when they have most likely told you not to. Then you also need to tell them that when you do you can't climax and shoot sperm. If you are under age 14 you have no choice especially since one of the problems could be your prostate as this is an important part of and your reproductive system.

Now if you are over 14 a Federal Law has given anyone 14 years of age and over total Medical Confidentiality. Meaning and including that they can make doctors appointments without parental permission. See doctors without parental permission or accompaniment, be treated by the doctors and parent can have no right to this medical information. It is totally confidential as long as it pertains to your reproductive system. The law is called HIPPA.

To see a doctor under this law all you need do is call and say to the appointment secretary you have a problem covered under HIPPA that you need to see the doctor for. They will take it for there.

You are still covered under your parents health insurance for these doctors visits even though they cannot see your medical records for these visits or be told why you saw the doctor or what you were treated for. Who pays the bill does not give them the right to see your medical records. I could pay your doctor's bill and still I would not have a right to know what I was paying for.

You would still be required to pay any co-pay the insurance requires. If your parents do not have health insurance then go to a hospital emergency room and say the same thing. They will examine and treat you without worry about the bill.


I am a boy my age is 18 whenever I masturbate after 2 seconds I cum plz tell me if any issue I have

I don't think you have a problem. I believe you are like many young men who when masturbating race to cum to have the feeling that comes over you when you climax or to relieve the sexual tension before you are disturbed by others.

The last part is usually a problem young for men who live at home or have roommates. We masturbate primarily to relieve sexual tension and secondarily for the feeling we get when we climax it is a 2 for 1 deal. If we are concerned with being interrupted or intruded upon then we rush through our masturbation to get it over with. You may have unknowingly conditions yourself into doing so. It will take time but since this is a learned experience you can unlearn it.

Find a time and a place to masturbate when you know you will not be disturbed. If you live at home then you may want to do so before everyone returns home from school and work or after everyone goes to bed for the evening. Hopefully you have your own room. Close and lock your door.

Get out your music player and headphones, strip off your clothes, get your favorite stroke material and get on your bed. Put some nice romantic type music on you music player. Then with stroke material in hand lay back and play with yourself. Let you hands wander all over your body from neckline to as far down your legs as possible. Pretend your hand belongs to the lady you are looking at and she is making love to you, feeling your body and teasing you. Don't touch your penis but you can touch your scrotum.

After a bit when your body starts to tingle, so to speak, and your penis is rock hard you can start to touch yourself but lightly and slowly. This is how a girl would make love to you. Slowly at first and then as she see's you building to climax she would speed up the tempo and the firmness of her grip.

You can also try to squeeze off your climax by firmly squeezing with your thumb and forefingers just under the head of your penis. If you do this a few times you will learn to control yourself and you will have a much better masturbation session.

Just make sure that when you do masturbate you can do so without fear of interruption for a long period of time. In a comfortable place, such as your bedroom where you can lock your door against intrusion.


I am in a four year relationship. My boyfriend is 23 and I'm 21. So I've found that I don't really enjoy the sex, I suppose I don't really like the feeling. He tries to satisfy me everytime, I only seem to orgasm through stimulation. I don't want to tell my boyfriend this, that would hurt his feelings, sometimes I do wish we didn't have to do it so often, because we do, almost everytime we see each other and this is worrying as I do see a future with him. What could be causing this feeling?

I really cannot give you a good answer to your question as there is information needed that you did not supply. Information like how long you both have been sexually active, when did you lose your virginity when did he. Why this question.

Like everything else sex is a learned art. We what we learn early is what we practice until we find that our practice is shall we say in need of upgrading. This is not a disparagement. You are 21 and have been going with him since you were 18 and he was 19. If you started having sex at that age then it probably was more of a Wham, bam thank you ma'am type of deal. You are older now and where you have sex may be more comfortable and more secure from being intruded upon or discovered then at first. Plus at 21 you are more than entitled to have a sex life. So it would not be unusual that you would want more than you got when you were 18.

If I'm close to what you're thinking the solution is fairly simple and the problem is not unique to your situation. It happens to many couples including married couples. You need to talk to each other.

Remember I said you need to talk to each other. Good communications is the key to everything in our lives including sex. How can I know what your likes and dislikes are in the bedroom if you don't tell me ore you mine. How am I to know what your fantasies may be or what sexual things you might be willing to try if you don't talk to me.

The Kama Sutra has over a thousand pages of sexual positions. There are hundreds of sexual fetishes. Nothing that happens in the privacy of your bedroom is weird or kinky if the two partners are consenting to try something. The Key word here is CONSENTING.

Back to your original question. No I don't think your losing interest. I think you may becoming bored in the bedroom with routine sex. Maybe your sex life consists of foreplay which may include oral sex and fingering, then on to the missionary and possibly doggy position. That could get old. It does for many couples.

Some couples look to bringing a third person into the bedroom others look to swinging. TO me those are the wrong answers as one partner is usually not all that consenting. The solution is talking to each other and finding different things to spice up your sex life.

Talk to each other see what turns you on. It could be anything just remember what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. If you two enjoy it and are both consenting it is not weird or kinky. Some women have rape fantasies, why I don't know. Some men like to be dominated in the bedroom. BDSM are favorite bedroom fetishes. Dress up and role-play is another.

IF you two are good for each other in every other way don't let a stale love life be a deal breaker. Don't be embarrassed to ask for what you want in the bedroom.

One last thing. If you can orgasm through masturbation it is very possible you are more clitoral in nature than vaginal. Most guys go right for the vagina in foreplay and finger a girl until they, the guy, thinks they are ready for intercourse. The guys do this because this is what they learned to do. This is what they see in porno movies and what they read in porn magazines.

Most women can be stimulated just thorough vaginal stimulation. There are some and you may be among them that need their clitoris stimulated more than their vaginal in order to climax. If you are among those women there are positions in which your clitoris is stimulates during intercourse. You also need to show your boyfriend how to stimulate your clitoris and how to find your "G" spot inside you vagina.

If you don't know where your "G" spot it should be on the roof of your vagina just below and toward the opening of your vagina. Stimulating both of these should send you up a wall.


Why do i have a small pain in my tummy befor sex or when i get horny .my wilfe is 47 I am 61 i am a man my wife a good woman .how can i explain my discomfort to her.I am Canadian (English ) she is Mexican

We are not doctors so we can't make a diagnose. I would suggest you discuss this with your doctor. I would think it is nothing more than probably performance anxiety given the 14 years difference in age. The fact that your English and she is Mexican should not be a problem. She married you because she loves you and you her.

Given the age difference if I'm correct in what I'm thinking as performance anxiety being the problem don't be embarrassed about it. I believe it would be natural and something your doctor can help you with if you would discuss it with him. Don't be embarrassed to discuss it with you doctor. As a doctor he has heard this problem and others many times.


I have always been told masturbation was bad but I always here adults say yeah I used to masturbate to and I turned out fine I don't know what to belive

There is nothing wrong with masturbation as long as it is not something done to the exclusion of everything else in your life. Meaning it is something you do at night in your bed or in the morning in your shower but not something you do all afternoon and night.

Masturbation is a healthy outlet for the sexual tension young people get when going through puberty and having to deal with all those new hormones coursing through their bodies. It is also a great way to identify with your sexuality though fantasy as you masturbate. You also learn about your likes and dislikes as to how you like to be touched so allow your hands to roam your body not just your sex organ.

According to a recent survey 85% of us masturbate. In a family of 4 that means 3.4 members of the family masturbate. That's right even your parents masturbate except when they do so it is most likely called foreplay. A handjob is a form of masturbation as is a blow job or oral sex and fingering. When couples masturbate each other it is called foreplay which leads to the reason why adults tell children not to masturbate.

Lets face the facts; when you masturbate it feels good. If you allow someone else to masturbate you it feels even better and is why it is called foreplay. For it leads to the ultimate sex act; intercourse.

Parents feel if the can keep children from masturbating they can keep them from having sex. If they keep you from having sex then no one gets pregnant and they do not have to deal with the problems of teenage parents.

Masturbation is not a sin. While most religions do not condone masturbation they do not forbid it or consider a sin. They do not condone it for the same reasons parents don't want children to masturbate.

As a parent and now of the age to be a grandparent I told my son and had I had a daughter I would have told her this. Sex as a teenager is more trouble than it is worth. You want to feel a girl up go ahead but keep your dick in your pants. When you get home go in your room close the door and jerk off. There were more than enough girlie magazines around the house such as Playboy and Maxim to use for inspiration.

That's me and my wife. We have been a ittle more liberal in our views on sex and our children. Listen to what your parents say. Trying to stop someone from masturbating is like trying to hold back the ocean. Masturbation is natural so just do so in private which is where it should be done any way. Close and lock your bedroom door so you are not disturbed or do so in your morning or evening shower.


I am from South Africa 16 years old..I recently lost my virginity last month. So during that month weekly me and my boyfriend would have sex .Since I lost my virginity I never gotten my period, however , every time we had sex we would use a condom AND before he would cum he usually pulls out and gets rid of the condom afterwards.. there was one day when we were doing it and he was gona cum so he pulled out the condom broke ! ..but I don't understand because the condom only broke when he WAS NOT in me anymore ..however just for precaution the next day I took an emergency contraceptive ..and its the 1st of July and I'm still waiting for my period ..I'm afraid to get a Pregnancy test ..PLEASE HELP what do I do?

Do as Hardcore-Band-Geek says and take a home pregnancy test. There is no way for certain that we can tell yes or no that you are pregnant. The fact that you used condoms and used the emergency contraceptive pill puts the odds in favor of you not being pregnant.

Also using the emergency contraceptive could be the reason your period is late as it disrupts your cycle. The only way to know for sure is take a home pregnancy, you actually take two. You take the first one and then 10 days later you take a second one to confirm the first, just to be on the safe side even if the first is negative. There are less false negatives than positives in these test and taking two with one confirming the other makes for a more accurate test.

Stress is another reason why your period may be late. Stress more than being pregnant is the biggest reason for a women to miss her period. Being stressed upsets the delicate balance in your system and this can cause your period to be late or missed altogether.

Try and relax as from what you have written there is very little chance you are pregnant.


So I got fingered 7 nights in a row by my bf, and I haven't noticed my period in like 2 months and I'm too scared to tell my mom my problem so I'm going to you guys! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

First of all calm down things may just be fairly normal as you are only 12 years old. Fingering should not cause you to miss your period as you cannot get pregnant from fingering unless the boy has sperm on his fingers and then the chances are still very small.

You have written so little yet there is a lot I need to cover with you in answering so we will start at the top.

Your period: Being 12 years old I would have to believe you are in the first year or so of your period. During the first years of your period it is not uncommon for your period to be irregular as the hormones released by puberty become related within you.

Stress is another reason why women miss their periods. You don't say how long you have been allowing your boyfriend to finger you. If it has gone on for any length of time and you are stressed out about getting pregnant you can and most likely will miss one or more periods. As I said there is no chance of getting pregnant from being fingered unless the boy has somehow gotten his sperm on his fingers and his fingers go far enough in your vagina for the sperm to find an egg.

Fingering: Let me tell you something about boys your age, having once been one myself. They are the biggest gossips there has ever been and they cannot keep a secret. He has to tell someone, most likely his best friend swearing him to secrecy. That friend tells another and before you know it by the time school opens in the fall you will have a reputation you don't want and will find very hard to live down.

Why are you allowing this boy to put his hands down there? Is this boy your age or older? If he is older or not did he say something like; "If you love me you will let me do this." That is a line many boys use to get their girlfriends to have sex with them. "If you love me you will have sex with me." Proving your love for a boy is no reason to allow a boy to finger you or to have sex with him.

Boys and girls have different definitions of love. A girl’s definition is more like in the dictionary. A boy’s definition of love fits the dictionary definition of Lust. It is not love that they have it is lust and in general once they get what they want it is off to someone else for they have a game they play to see how many points they can score with each girl they date. They get points for feeling a girl up, fingering her and the big prize is having sex with her. They get the most points if she is a virgin which is why so many older boys go for girls your age as girls your age are more likely to be virgins.

Letting a boy feel you up, finger you or have sex with you to prove your love is not a reason to allow or to do so. This type of intimacy is a result of your love for someone and should be reserved for when you are older and more mature. Not for a 12 year old who is battling with the new hormones in her body.

Talking to Mom: Understand one thing about your period your period is not sex it is a bodily function unique to the female of our species. The person who can best answer question concerning problems you may be having is you mom and in some cases your gynecologists.

Will mom get upset if you go up to her and say, "Mom I haven't had a period in two months?" She shouldn't unless she suspects you are sexually active. If you think she will over react and start with questions about whether you have had sex? Then start with; "Mom I need to ask you a question, please understand I am still a virgin but I have not had a period in two months." That should keep mom from thinking the wrong things.

There is probably nothing wrong with your missing your period. As I said in the beginning it happens to girls your age. It has been known to happen where girls your age have had a period or two or longer and then their periods stop for as long as a year. Probably 99% of the time there is nothing wrong. It takes a doctor and a specific blood test to understand if this is normal.

Since you are too young to make your own doctor’s appointments you must go to mom and tell her. Then she can decide when and if you need to see a doctor.

Most importantly after everything I have written the most important things are:

1. Talk to your mother

2. Stop letting your boyfriend touch you as you have let him. If he is more than a year older than you, he is too old for you and wants more from you then just fingering you.


So I started Uni this year and (very out of character for me) I had a one night stand at the very beginning after my first ever time of going to a club.

Thing is, a month later I then got into a relationship, and have been in this relationship ever since.

I love my bf a lot and we are both very faithful/committed etc. But I cant stop thinking about my one night stand.
Like I cant stop checking his Twitter feed-feeling butterflies if I happen to pass him in the corridor or even just seeing his friends gets me into a hot sweat.

I've since learnt that obviously the one night stand doesn't care about me at all-and tbh I don't care that he doesn't care. I did ask him out of said night but he said no.

How do I stop thinking about him? Or do you never really forget your first time? Because I feel like I'm hiding this from my bf.

You rarely forget the first time you do anything. Be it the first time you make love, the first time you are kissed, the first time you drive a car. First times can be milestones in our lives many of which we like to keep and savor.

For some reason this one night stand is a milestone, maybe because you did something for the first time so out of character for you. Going off to college or Uni presents the possibility of many first times to do things that maybe you would not thought or had the opportunity to do at home. For whatever the reason this is a milestone event in your life. Treat it as such.

File it away with other milestone events that years from now when your at home, the kids are in bed, your husband is out of town and you're on the couch with a bowl of chocolate ice cream sitting in front TV you can think about these events without worry or embarrassment.


I am 18 year old lady, I had sex for the first time and I used a condom, but that same day my periods started and they were normal, but 3 days later, I experience running tummy which lasted for 2 days, now I have stomach cramps, bubbling from my stomach to my mouth, chest and back pain. Am I pregnant or I am just exaggerating?

No I don't think your pregnant. If you want to make sure and put your mind at ease a home pregnancy test will give you the answer.

IF you are like 85% of women you ovulate between the 6th and 21st day of your cycle. It is during these dates that you are most likely to get pregnant if you do not use some form of birth control. For the other 15% of women they can ovulate at any time during their cycle including while having their period.

You used a condom. If it did not break and you are sure no sperm leaked out the odds are in your favor that you are not pregnant. The symptoms you're feeling could be a stomach virus or even nerves caused by stress. Stress over possibly being pregnant or even over losing your virginity.

Your 18 now which makes you an adult. While your parents may still see you as a child, legally you are an adult and with that comes certain adult choices and rights. Among those rights is a right to a sex life. The right to see a doctor and ask for birth control medication; even if you are still covered under your parents insurance.

Your parents no longer have any rights regarding your medical well being. Since you are of legal age now your doctors can no longer discuss any medical visit, procedure or your medical history with anyone you have not given them explicate permission for in writing. I could be paying your medical bills and this would into give me the right to know what it is I'm paying for without your permission.

IF you're stressed out that your parents could find out you had sex; stop worrying. They never could in the first place as even a doctor can't tell if you have had sex. Now even if you tell your doctor and you should that you have had your first sexual experience. Your parents can never know as they cannot see your medical records now that you are an adult. Legally they cannot even make a medical appointment for you should you ask them too.

To get back to your original question. I do not think you are pregnant. If you want to put your mind at rest take a home pregnancy test. Buy a test kit and follow the directions as to how long after intercourse you should wait to test and then follow the directions to test.

If you continue to stress out over this you will miss your next period. Not because you are pregnant. But because stress is the biggest cause for missing a period even more so than pregnancy.


I was out to eat with my husband a few weeks ago. The place was a restaurant bar. There was a good lookig guy at the bar that kept checking me out. After dinner we decided to hang out at the bar. My husband wanted to get into a game of pool with someone so I took a walk to the ladie's room. While washing my hands that good looking guy came in and stood behind me. He started to fondle my breasts and I just stood there and let him do it. I was wearing a sun dress and he reached under and pulled my panties down and I stepped out of them. He leaned me over towards the sink and started having sex with me. I did nothing to stop him and allowed it to happen. I was afraid someone would walk in on us. No one did and he made me orgasm. After he came inside me I turned around and kissed him. He asked if he could keep my panties and I said yes. I have been walking past this restaurant a few times since this all went down and I saw him inside a few of the times. I want to go in and do it again with this guy but seem to be afraid of being caught. Am I wrong for wanting this passion a 2nd. time?

YES. Fact one: You cheated on your husband. Fact two: If this guy wanted to see you again he would have asked for your number. Fat Three: This guy took advantage of an opportunity and you allowed it to happen. Don't make the same mistake again.

Put this behind you and forget it. If there is a problem in your marriage work it out, get counseling or end your marriage. Cheating on your husband is not a way to save your marriage it is a way to ruin it.


I consider myself a bi sexual male to female crossdresser bordering on transgender. On four occasions 2 years ago I went out to an area in town where hookers work and prostituted myself. Three of the times were for a few nights each and the forth was for about 5 weeks. I needed money for food and rent and this was the easiest way to get some money. Now two years later I am still living full time as a female but I have a sugar daddy paying for everything. The thing is that I really found working as a prostitute exciting and a huge turn on for me. I enjoyed being with all of those guys and loved bringing them to orgasm. I am not ashamed for doing it and do not care who knows that I am an ex prostitute. Even girls I date find it exciting and want to have sex with me just because of my hooking. Should I just go ahead and do it again?

I can not endorse what you desire to do as I see it as a great health risk to you. Having a homosexual relationship with one person, a person you know, with taking proper precautions has its health risks. TO prostitute yourself and have homosexual relations with total strangers is a risk I can not endorse.

There are other risks associated with being a prostitute that you were luck did not befall you. Prostitutes have been known to be raped, beaten up and even murdered. Homosexual prostitutes are more susceptible to this do to certain members of society's anti gay feeling and gay bashing. The fact that this would be looked at as a hate crime does not do you any good if you're in the hospital or worse in the morgue.

Then there is your sugar Daddy; how would he feel about you prostituting yourself? It is one thing if this was the only way to put a roof over your head and food in your belly. It sounds like this is not a problem so why ruin a good thing just for a thrill.

It appears you're looking for permission to do so and I just cannot find a good reason to give you permission.


My question is my boyfriend and I are. Both virgins and we tried to have sex but it wouldn't go in I was a little embarrassed what do I do?

I wish you had included your age as it is important in answering this question. The younger YOU are the harder it is going to be for that first intercourse.

Before I go into that I need to add something here because your age is missing. Boys have a different definition of love than girls do as young teenagers. To them love and lust are synonymous. If you are having sex with your boyfriend because he said something like; "If you love me you will have sex with me." You are having sex with him for all the wrong reasons. He does not love you he lusts for you and most likely once he gets what he wants he will move on to another girl. Think about this before you try again. Trust me on this one for I was once a teenage boy.

Now if you are young say in the age range of 13 to early 16. You may have developed the outward appearance of a women's body. Internally though you are still developing. Yes, your vagina will stretch to accommodate a man’s penis, just remember what your vagina is made to deliver into the world.

While you may be getting your period and be capable of getting pregnant. The hormones that allow the vagina muscles to unlock and stretch to allow a penis to enter and a baby to exit may not have been released yet. This is all part of puberty and it happens at different time for each girl.

Another reason you could be having trouble is you are not able to relax and let those muscles relax. This is a defense mechanism. A male can have sex almost anywhere as long as he can get hard. It is not quite that easy for the female.

A female needs to feel loved, be comfortable in her surroundings, feel safe that no one is going to intrude upon her, and most important that she is physically comfortable. Meaning the back seat of the car is not the best place to lose ones virginity.

Yes foreplay and externally applied lubrication such as K-Y Jelly will help. If you cannot relax, if you do not feel loved, if there is not enough foreplay to excite you, if you do not feel safe and you are not comfortable you will not be able to relax those muscles if they can be relaxed and it will hurt. It does not have to hurt. The only real pain you should feel is the sting of the tearing of your Hymen if it is still intact.

Sex is a beautiful thing between two loving people who are old enough to be in a long term loving relationship. Mature enough to understand the possible consequences of the act of love and able to deal with them.

I will not be a hypocrite and say you must wait for marriage. Most of us your parents age and older were not virgins when we married. What I will suggest is you make sure this is the right time and the right person to give your virginity to.

If as I feel you are in the age group I think you are I ask you to reread the second paragraph before you try again.


Sometimes sex is painful for me. Like when we do doggy or missionary...are there any positions that are more comfortable. It hurts on my side too.

Your question is somewhat contradictory in what you have written. Generally speaking the doggy position allows for deeper penetration which could have your partner hitting your cervix causing you pain. In the missionary position penetration usually is not as deep unless your partners has a more than average length penis.

According to the latest Ansell Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Average Vagina Size

Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

The information I've shown above is the average so if your partner is above average and you are average then there is a chance you will suffer some pain during sex.

There are three ways to handle this:

First: Use positions such as women above where you can control the depth of penetration. In the missionary position put your knees on his chest to limit how deep he can penetrate you. Of course using this method will depend on just how long his penis is.

Second: Communication; just like everything else in life a good sex life depends on good communication between partners. Men you age are generally still somewhat inept as lovers. What I mean by this is they are still looking more to satisfy themselves than their partner. They may not admit to this though having been you are age at one time I know this to be true; especially if a relationship has not been entered into.

Third: If the problem is the diameter of his penis that is causing you pain. Just remember what comes out of your vagina. Your vagina is made to stretch and will stretch to accommodate your partners’ penis. You need to learn to relax those muscles (search the web for exercises). If you still have pain and cannot relax those muscles I suggest seeing your GYN. Don't be bashful about it as your GYN has heard this problem many times before.

He may be too quick and needs to slow down. He can shorten his stroke if need be especially if he is long in length. He won't know this unless you talk to him and tell him.

Sex is a beautiful thing between two consensual people and should be enjoyed by both. To do so you both must be open to one another and tell them what is good and what is bad. What you like and what you don't like. What you’re willing to try and what you won't try. You also need to remember that what happens in the privacy of your bedroom or wherever you have sex stays there. Nothing tries or don in the way of sexual enjoyment between two consenting people is weird. The operative word is consensual or consenting. This leaves a variety of positions available for you and your partner to try.


my g.f got period after 8 days of sex..any chances of peragnent??

FYI: When a women gets her period this is her womb cleaning itself out of its lining and preparing itself for when next she ovulates and sends out an egg for fertilization. IF this egg gets fertilized it then attaches to the wall of her womb and her periods stop. So in most cases a woman cannot be pregnant after sex if she gets her period shortly afterwards.


i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally.

It is not all that abnormal to be confused about one's gender. What my concern is whether you are a true transgender or a cross-dresser. Being a cross-dresser does not mean your a Lesbian or a transgender.

Since you say you are considering having a sex change operation I suggest you seek out a psychologist who specializes in gender confusion and sex changes. IF you want to have a sex change you must do two things before you can have the operation,

First; you must live as a male for two years. This means living as a male, which includes using the men's public bathrooms and other facilities unless barred by law, dressing as a male and all things male. No make-up, men's hair cuts and so on.

Second; you must receive a minimum of two years of psychiatric counseling from two practitioners. This would include a psychologist and a psychiatrist to certify that from a mental standpoint you understand fully what is happening and you are mentally competent to make this decision.

By seeing a psychologist to help you sort out whether you are a true transgender who, should start the transition to male, or someone who is more of a cross-dresser. You are also starting the process for a transgender if this is what you truly want.

None of us are doctors and I do not believe any of us have the expertise to advise you as to which you may be. The best advice is to see a professional who can offer you the advice you need.


Me an my friend are very close n we are very dirty minded, we are only 13 nearly 14 and borh girls n we hump each other (dont hate) n sometimes we play with ourselfs together n i really want her to play with me or lick me even (i dont fancy her..) I just want someone i no to lick/finger me?? Help??

Relax your normal.

What is happening to you is you are exploring your sexuality. You are not a lesbian or bisexual or anything else. It is not unusual for kids your age just going through puberty want to experiment with their sexuality. It is much safer and less embarrassing to experiment with someone of their own sex.

So relax this has been going on forever. You and your girl friend may get to where you want to go as you both get more comfortable with your own bodies and sexuality.

By the way boys experiment as well with other boys at this age. It does not make them gay or bisexual either.


I have had bladder pro-lapse surgery 6 weeks ago. I am 53. I tried to have sex and it hurt and bleed so much I had to stop. Will my vagina stretch back out some at accommodate a large penis?

We are not doctors and could not give you a really specific answer to this question. This is one of those question I believe you MUST take to your doctor because of the pain and bleeding.

Also not knowing the specific procedure the doctor use for the surgery makes even guessing at an answer less than a 50/50 possibility of being correct. One would think knowing how the vagina is designed it would stretch to accommodate a large penis but I just cannot give you a yes or no answer. Only your surgeon or gynecologist can. So see you doctor specifically because of the pain and bleeding with intercourse.


i did sex wid my g.f i just rubbed outside but i dono whetehr sperm gone in or not..i dnt want her to b peragenent ...yestrday she got he period i did xxx on 5th may now also chances is their to get peragnent???

First: She is not pregnant.

Second: If English is your first language you need to spend more time in English class. Your spelling and grammar are atrocious. When you write to people who don\'t know you write to them as if you are sending a business letter not as if you were talking to them on the street. Many of us who answer these questions are adults and we do not do texting short hand or speak the language of the street.

You will get more and better answers with a properly format question.

Third: There is an old saying; if you’re not prepared to do the time don\'t do the crime.\" Which in this case is if you don\'t want to make your girlfriend pregnant don\'t have any form of unprotect sex with her. Wear a condom or settle for a hand job from her or a BJ if she is so inclined to give you one. But let her keep her clothes on and keep your penis away from her vagina.


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