ask storageanddisposal

read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

I reject questions not meant for me. If you want to ask me advice directly, use my name in the question so that I know the question is meant for me.
Website: Talk to Storage
Location: Iowa
Member Since: May 11, 2004
Answers: 1071
Last Update: October 31, 2014
Visitors: 59147
Rated: 6 times
Average Rating: 4.17

Main Categories:
Random Weirdos
Love Life
General Sex Questions
View All

Favorite Columnists
18/ male. After my girlfriend I dated for three years broke up with me, I've had troubles having sex with other girls. Like I want too but I can't get a boner. Basically it takes me a long time to get ready. Girls will get upset and think I dont find them attractive and that's not it, I just can't help it. It wasn't like that with my girlfriend I dated for three years but it is with everyone after her. I don't know know if it's a psychological thing or what but it's really frustrating! Please help (link)
Do you get morning wood? If it pops up in instances such as that or you have no problem getting one while you masturbate (if you masturbate), then it's probably psychological.

You say it takes you a long time to get ready? Try pleasing her in the process, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Do things for whatever girl your seeing and try not to over think it. While you're doing things for her, if you get excited, great! If not, it's not the end of the world.

If it's not psychological and you can't for any reason seem to get an erection, see a doctor. There could be a physical cause.

I have come to realize that I more than likely have depression. There are days where I just feel like there's a dark cloud over me. I will sleep for 12 hours and still feel exhausted and just be super negative and sad. Sometimes I will cry for a long time before bed for no reason and feel really hopeless even if I've had a good day. There seems to be no way to tell when it's coming or how long it will last. It doesn't appear to be caused by anything in my life- I have an amazing boyfriend of two years and am going to school for something I love. I did have a bad childhood (abusive family) but don't feel that's relevant anymore.

My boyfriend and I live together, and my "episodes" are becoming increasingly hard for him to deal with. He is patient and kind, but gets upset because he blames himself when I'm not happy. Sometimes I feel I have no right to be in a relationship because I don't think I'll ever be able to have a normal life or kids or anything. Between his ADHD and my depression, I feel like we are unable to help each other and just keep upsetting each other. It makes me wonder if it would be better for him not to be with me, even though he's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm not interested in medication (had some pill abuse problems in the past) and haven't had luck with therapy. Is there another way that I can manage this and maybe even get better? (link)
Perhaps there's some built up stress in your life that isn't finding a proper release? If that's the case, stress-relieving practices might help.

Are there yoga classes nearby? If not, you can look up poses or breathing exercises online somewhere that help relieve stress. This works really well for some people.

Do you breathe using your chest more or your diaphragm? Breathing from your diaphragm can relieve some stress as well. If you're unsure of how, try breathing from your stomach area more than from your chest. When you inhale, see that your stomach is expanding while your chest, for the most part, doesn't move. When you're feeling depressed, this might help a little.

If you feel yourself getting worked up, try to make sure your body doesn't have a lot of unused tension. Try to calm yourself down by focusing on relaxation. Take a long bubble bath while listening to soothing music. Get your boyfriend to give you a massage. Light some nice scented candles. Try not to think so much and just concentrate on the nice things around you.

Try keeping your mind occupied with positive things when you feel depressed. Try to find things to smile about, because smiling itself has been known to improve one's mood.

It's stressful dealing with depression, but it's even worse when you take responsibility for someone else's feelings. You don't have to break up to stop feeling responsible for each other's feelings. You and he just need to realize that sometimes there's nothing you can really do to change someone's mood. When you're depressed, it's not because of something he is or isn't doing. It has nothing to do with him. You are depressed because you are depressed.

1. The science club for boys in some town does robotics and engineering, girls science club in the town doesn't
2. In my school while boys do a wrestling unit us girls do a yoga unit
3. Dad's let their sons date whenever whoever but with girls,“you can't date anybody!!!!"
4. I've been in girls scouts, the only thing we really do is crafts and sell cookies, we hike once a year; my friend's brother is in boy scouts, they camp for weeks at a time, go places, etc
5. Their is no girl's football team
6. No world cup for women's soccer, and if their is it's not as popular and celebrated.
In other countries it's even worse. I'm gonna try and avoid violent ones:
1. In Arabiah women can't drive
2. In LOTS of places women can't be educated/ vote
3. There is a charity in Afghanistan where they have children perform acts an play games away from their war infested home,in some areas girls can't join
4. India and the whole child marriage thing
5. Men kidnap girls and have men pay to “do" them
And much more. Why? (link)
Because the world is still quite sexist. It's hard to say why exactly, but it's the same reason why racism used to be more acceptable. People used to and on some level still believe that women are less capable than men. It's not true, but because of customs and traditions built around this notion, these things you've mentioned are still being done.

So, my friend who is over all the time is DEATHLY allergic to Bees and Wasps. I live in a small small town and there are wasps everywhere outside and the house is old so it's easy for them to get inside. I was wondering if any of you guys know any inexpensive ways to keep them out of the house so she doesn't get stung?

Though it's not as large of a priority, do you know any ways to prevent Fleas? We have had them several times and we get rid of them every winter, but every year around July they come back. We spray, treat the animals, clean everything, even wash our laundry with ammonia. But they keep returning. One year it was so bad my friends got infested too. Since this winter was so harsh they aren't nearly as bad, so we're trying to be rid of them once and for all. Is there anything we can do so they don't come back? This has been happening for years now... Anything on spiders would be nice too :)

Thanks (link)
sprinkling a bit of Diatomaceous Earth along walls or any places insects may hide will kill them, though I will say some spiders are good to have around as they help control the bug population as well. If you do this, make sure it's food grade DE so it wouldn't cause you any problems. It's cheap, too, but cleaning it up can be a nuisance.

For wasps, see if you can tell where they're coming from. If you can find their hive, spray it with an insecticide at night while they're sleeping and it should kill them all.

Im worried my father is 57 abd he has been pooping blood for a while off and on he wont go to doc.last week my mom sad he passed alot of blood and can out white as a ghost please help (link)
At his age, he should be regularly checked for things such as colon cancer, of which this is a sign. Hemorrhoids are probably the most common cause of bloody stools, but you don't want to leave this sort of thing to assumptions. It's better to be safe.

Try making it as easy for him as possible to make an appointment. Say you'll make the appointment for him. Explain that it could be life-threatening. Do whatever you can to get him to the hospital, especially if this is something that hasn't happened to him before.

BF - "So, this may seem odd, but I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I came to terms with my bisexuality a few years ago... It took a long time because I was raised in a very "Bible Belt" southern baptist home. It was a big struggle and not many people know. Anyways, I am faced with a dilemma, I feel almost completely fulfilled with my girlfriend, and past girlfriends for that matter. But there is always that longing for a guy... But when I have dated guys it always feels as though something is missing specifically that they can't seem to be as emotionally involved. Generally all they want is sex... I really don't even know what I am trying to say or ask... Also I know we haven't really talked or hung out much if at all in the past... But I just kind of felt like you might be able to give me some insight."

FRIEND - "I honestly came from the exact same situation. Bible Belt, Christian/Conservative household. I had a really hard time accepting that I wanted to be with a woman because I was always told it was wrong.... My advice is to just try to personally truly come to terms with it before dating another guy. You'll never have that connection if you still somehow even POSSIBLY feel that it is wrong. If you feel fulfilled with your girlfriend, then just be with her. If not, maybe approach the idea of an open relationship or possibly a poly relationship. If you think she may be open to it. I don't know her, so it depends. Taylor and I don't share.... But if I ever felt the need to be with a man or vice versa, we would let the other rather than leave them. We just truly want the other to be happy.... Do you want the companionship or do you just enjoy the sex with men? Personal, I know. But it may help me to help you figure this out."

BF - "Well, I guess I want to be able to let go, to feel vulnerable and be able to be protected. I am by nature very effeminate but also very protective. I think maybe it's this duplicitous nature of my mind that plagues me so much. I enjoy sex with women and men. I love ****** to death and everything is fulfilled except my ability to be vulnerable to be the "woman" so to speak. Basically if ****** were a man every single need would be met... I am at a loss. I love her an would never want to lose her, but I worry that I may become unsatisfied years down the road."

That was a conversation between my boyfriend and his friend written January this year. He was dating another girl/referring to another woman in this message. He and I have been dating since February.

He had told me upfront that he was bisexual and of his few bisexual experiences with men/including sex. I did not accept it then and several months later, I am not comfortable with this side of him. Few times since we've been dating I found gay porn on his phone/first time I found it I was not looking for it. We've fought many times over this subject of him being bisexual.

I accept all him but this. I let myself accept him just a few days ago and had seen that I wasn't able to love him all this time because of that side of him. Except that day I was able to love him and I saw that he truly loved me. I'll always have those doubts that he will want for a man instead of me. He told me early on I was different than his other relationships because for the first time he did not want a man. He had also stated that I have a "manly" side to me and he believed that was why he felt as such. Today after he had left for a trip, I shamefully took the opportunity to search his messages/mainly looking for hook up messages from former sex companions whom he still has conversations with. I found nothing in that department. I just found this. I'm on a fence/ would it be in my best interest for my future to breakup with him due to the fact that he's a risk or because he's deep-down fantasying of men and staying with his girlfriend because he's more comfortable with a woman and not entirely sure on how he feels for men? He has told me that he wanted to marry me. Which confuses me more. Could I be all that he needs? Be the "protector", let him cry on my shoulder when he needs to. I don't think that's what I want, I like being the vulnerable one. I like laying my head on his chest with his arms wrapped around me. There have been times when he tried to lay on my chest and I had him move up and switch. I once was with a woman. I know what it feels like to be the dominant one and what it feels like to hold a my significant other. If that was what I wanted I would be with a woman. I chose to be with a man because he's a man. I need him to be the man. Bisexual man is another gender in its self/ being with a bisexual man that is. I know the decision is ultimately up to me, it's very hard to make up my mind. To conclude, I need another standpoint. I fear relying on my senses will come to a decision I may regret. (link)
It seems like you two want different things out of the relationship. Personally, I see a lot of gray area in who is vulnerable and who is a protector. I imagine that the situation can switch from time to time, depending on who feels the need to have someone strong to lean on. If you can't become all right with this kind of situation and your looking for a relationship that's long term, I would think about walking away. This is for his benefit as well as yours, because he needs someone that's comfortable with the kind of person he is.

If you can live with occasionally compromising by occasionally being the strong one, I would stay with it. Regarding him being a risk, I think everyone is a risk in one way or another. It's highly unlikely that you'll find someone perfect for you because we're all just too different. Waiting around for the one person you have no issue with could cause you to lead a very lonely life.

Him finding out I liked him when he was single and he told others he didn't feel the same... At a different party he got really close to my face a bunch of times. Put my arms above my head on a door and got close to my face then... Told me to sleep with him so his ex wouldn't and the next day he tells me he, was about to kiss me and he felt like cuddling..he's told me that I'm like a little sister and he's told our friends that he didn't wanna ruin our friendship.. He gets mad at me when I'm not his bestie on snapchat.. He talks to me in some way everyday. And he's always there... People thought were together and it got to the point to where he told me he was going to stop denying it. He's protective over me. I asked him yesterday if we stopped being friends would he be sad?he said yes? We also had a convo about how I wouldn't screw him even if we dated and he said " not that I would want to but why wouldn't you" he's one of those guys that likes to get it in and is a man whore Is it a bestfriend or do you still think it's more? (link)
Due to how he acted while you two were cuddling, he seems to be sexually attracted to you. That would be my guess, but being sexually attracted to someone and wanting a relationship with them are two different things. Maybe he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but is still attracted to you.

I could throw all kind of guesses around based on how he acts, but they are all still guesses. No one on can tell you exactly what's going on in his head except him.

I still wouldn't pursue him. It sounds like his feelings are complicated, uncertain. It sounds risky and it sounds like your friendship is too important to risk, especially to him.

Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. What are the odds of long distance working out. I love him so much we both graduate next year... is it worth the wait? (link)
If you think it is, then it is.

My relationship started out as a long distance one. Now we live together and have been seeing each other for 7 years.

Me and my bestfriend have hung out for a week... And we so sleep in the same bed but on different sides until last Friday after his party... We cuddled, we weren't drunk. It was after his girlfriend and everyone left I went to bed first and he came in and tried to get on of the blankets from me and at the party he said he was gonna cuddle with me... And we did... All night but. My bestfriend massaged my back, caressed my thighs and stomach and butt Keep in mind that we are bestfriends but we've never done this even when we're drunk. The next morning I went to the bathroom and came back not feeling good so he put his arm around me more but caressed his finger on my bra and he was trying to hold my hand too as well as his morning wood on my back .. And no he wants no one to know. To be honest I liked it but i dont want to like him again. And i dont.. What the hell is up? (link)
He's into you and doesn't want to lose his girlfriend is what's up, but he's handling it in a really bad way.

I would advise not sleeping in the same bed with him anymore. You don't want to like him and that's probably good for you. What he did is a sign of disrespect toward his current girlfriend. You can imagine how you would feel if you were dating him and he did this with someone else without telling you.

Does anyone know how much to feed a puppy and how often you are supposed to do the feeding? (link) Here's a puppy feeding guide.

I'm 20 years old and had a lot of sex in the past 5 years with over 25 partners, but for some reason I prefer masturbation over sex in the past few months which obviously makes my girlfriend of 6 months furious. Is it normal to prefer masturbation over sex or is there something wrong with me?? (link)
Is it common? Yes, you certainly aren't abnormal.

Is it a problem for your relationship? That's a different matter entirely. Since your girlfriend is furious about it, I'd say it is.

I assume you watch porn while you masturbate, which is fine, but it can desensitize you. I think cutting back could seriously help your relationship.

(Please don't tell me to go to a doctor.. I realize most people here are not doctors, but I want personal opinions..)

Hi. I'm 14 years old, and my BMI is considered "Normal weight". Anyway, I've been counting calories since late 2011. I was quite young when I started. I was bullied for my weight when I was younger, so I didn't want to get any bigger. Anyway, I keep close watch on my sugar intake, sodium intake, etc. I eat less than 1000 calories a day.. Probably 500 a day or around there. I'm not limiting myself, I just don't really have a good past with food, causing me to not eat. I starve pretty frequently since I have trouble with figuring out what to eat (Like making sure it's not too "fatty"). I CONSTANTLY have my mind focused on food and my weight; Having negative thoughts like telling myself I'm so fat and gross. I can't stop them either. I always try to distract myself from these thoughts, but.. Do you think I have an eating disorder? I don't want to go to the doctor because I'm afraid they'll force-feed me, causing me to gain a bunch of weight. I'm pretty much afraid of gaining weight, and I want to be 100 pounds. It's so aggravating... What do you think? It's not like I'm trying to seek attention or even wanting to do this, I just can't help it. I don't want to be bigger than I already am. (link)
It doesn't sound like you have an eating disorder to me. It just sounds like you knowingly make unhealthy choices concerning your diet due to issues with poor body image. Of course, don't take that as evidence that you don't have an eating disorder. If you truly can't stop an unhealthy habit and your obsessed with it, perhaps you do. That doesn't sound like the case to me though. I could be wrong.

I would recommend concentrating on health and exercise over calories. Calories are actually just a small part of what goes into how you look. Your body won't fully develop until you're in your early twenties. You're probably sacrificing your future, fully developed body for your current body image. Not getting the right amount of healthy food can seriously stunt certain physical developments, leaving you with health issues spanning your entire life, not to mention body image issues as an older person that you won't be able to fix with a change in diet.

You mentioned Sodium. It can be dangerous in large amounts, but it is important. Your body doesn't really produce sodium, but it needs it. So if you're watching your sodium intake, be sure to still at least get some regularly.

I don't think you need to see a doctor, but for the record, a doctor wouldn't force you to gain an obscene amount of weight. They would force you to eat enough so that your life wouldn't be in danger, but only if your life was in danger. Likely, they'd just leave you and your guardian(s) with strong recommendations for improving your overall health.

In short, I don't think you need to go to a doctor, but I advise you to consider the future more while making current choices involving your health.

So, im 22 female. my parents have been together for 30 years. Back when i was 15, I always caught my dad on porn sites or using a webcam.. too young to realize. when i was 18, i realized how much he was always leaving the house at night (my mom works nights) and the nights my mom didnt work he would be home. He would come home those nights acting weird, i knew something was up. I found him in a chat site, and in his search history a lot of searches for escorts, prostitutes, sex sites, etc like craigslist. It bothered me, knowing he was doing something behind my moms back and I knew, and disgusted me he was spending money on it. I tried to let my mom see the evidence by calling her nights he was out late when she was at work saying why isnt he home? Why does he have a webcam. The situation really bothered me knowing that I had this information that would break our family apart.

Anyways, I decided to completely forget about it as i moved to college, and hoped that he would change on his own or my mom would figure it out.

Here I am, almost 23, living at home finishing up my last year of college. When I went to his computer to print something off, I found a phone that isnt his primary phone, it was a prepaid phone. On it was texts to prostitutes named "trantran", and a guy with his full name listed, address, and sexual messages of plans of meeting up, what my dad wanted, what the other person wanted, when and where they would meet, and him saying he was on the way. There was about 3 visits to different people in a week... this obviously is a multiple times a week thing.

So, my dad is hooking up with "trans" and a guy, and i researched this guy based on his name and address he gave, and he is a !!!junior in highschool!!! This is something I cannot and will not forget, nor ignore.

To top it all off, I found this out 2 days ago, and 3 days ago my mom found out she might have breast cancer. So, here I am. Understanding my dad is rather gay, a sex addict, but do know hes cheating religiously on my mom and I am the only one who knows.

I can't tell my brother, him and my dad work together in their own business, and i dont want that stress to be put on my brother.
I told my boyfriend, he's helping as much as he can.

So what if I tell my mom, one, she is about to find out if she has cancer. Two, I feel like this decision, although I know this is not my fault, but this decision to tell her is heartbreaking because I am responsible for all the pain and stress she is about to go through. My whole family will fall apart, my grandparents aunts uncles and family friends will all be so mad etc. My dad will hate me for basically having all this information against him (I know that its his fault, yes, but still, i will have zero relationship after this). Who knows if he will hurt himself, run away, do something horrible.

What if I dont tell my mom. I feel guilty as hell knowing that she is being treated this way, having to lie to her, having so much anger to keep this horrible secret in because of him, but then again only I feel the pain of the situation if I dont tell. And my family goes on as is. Plus, my mom is supporting my family and my dad, as he is in debt from opening his store, yet he is spending money on sex..

What if I say something to my dad, how will he react, does he need help bc hes a sex addict or will he be embarrased bc maybe he is gay? Will he continue his ways, will he laugh in my face, will he hurt himself, will he run away, will he kill himself, will he really try and get help?

This situation is not my fault, but the outcome of this situation at this current moment is riding heavily in my hands.. i make the decision what to do, who to tell, what to say.. And i really just need help. No one, no one wants to find out their dad is this type of person, it RIPS me apart knowing he is cheating, lying, spending money on this, having sex with a high school student, knowing he must be sooo messed up in his head, must have such deep serious problems, be so wrapped up in this that he does it multiple times a week, comes home, lives a double life.

It tears me apart to know my mother, someone so sweet, caring, and giving, doesn't know, she doesn't deserve this, she will be CRUSHED, they have an upcoming vacation together. What if my dad gets caught by the police, what if my dad goes to jail, what if my dad is so emotionally messed up he has no idea what to do and feels alone, what if hes got so many problems he just ends up hurting himself. How do I sort these emotions out in my head, how do i make a decision, how do i deal with all of this..

any advice is helpful. (link)
I would confront your father. Tell him you know and tell him he needs to stop. For your mom's sake, for the family, and for himself. You don't want this spiraling out of control and him going to jail for being with a minor, so I would confront him soon. It's impossible to tell what he'll do, so you need to make sure that he knows you still love him, assuming you do. This will help prevent him from doing something dangerous as a reaction to what you tell him.

Your mother has a lot on her plate right now, so I would hold off on telling her until she's done dealing with the possibility of having cancer. Honesty is almost always the right way to go, but under these circumstances it may be too much emotional trauma for her.

You aren't responsible for anything concerning this situation. Your family is very fragile right now and bad things could happen, regardless of how you handle your own actions. No matter what, these things that may happen regarding your parents are not your fault. I think it's important that you understand that.

I'm 13 years old and in a few weeks I'm going to the doctors to talk about my anxiety. I'm afraid that if I get put on medication it'll change who I am, like I will start taking more risks and hurt myself. The alternative would be getting put in therapy but what does a therapist really do? I already talk about it to my mom and friends so how will talking to a therapist help? I'm just really nervous please answer if you could help me with any of these questions. Sorry for the lack of information, I had to do this quickly. Also please tell me have any ideas on how to bring up these topics my mom. Thanks! (link)
Calm down. You see a therapist to help you, not force you to be fixed. There's little to worry about.

The medication, if you get any, will help you relax. I don't think they will cause you to hurt yourself. And even if it is advised that you take medication, no one will force you to.

Talking to a therapist is different from talking to friends and your mother because your friends and your mother don't have the qualified experience and education concerning anxiety that a therapist has. Therapists can provide you with tips on how to help you handle your anxiety that your friends and your mother can't.

As for how to bring these things up to your mom, just tell her you have questions about seeing doctors or seeing a therapist for anxiety. If you have trouble putting thoughts together, I would try writing your thoughts down.


I absolutely HATE bugs - If I see one, I automatically freak out and feel like I'm going to pass out. My brother has bed bugs and my mother has been visiting lately due to his daughter being ill, and I'm afraid of her bringing them back and getting to me. She shakes off her clothes really good before she gets in the house and washes them, but I'm terrified of getting them. My mother doesn't sit down or anything just in case, but I'm so paranoid. Do I have anything to worry about? My mother does her research on how to not bring them back and stuff like that, I just REALLY don't want to get them... (link)
Your fears are valid, so I wouldn't call you paranoid. Bed bugs are on the rise, easy to get, and almost impossible to get rid of without a professional who specializes with bedbugs. However, they carry no diseases, so they're essentially nothing more than a nuisance. I recently had to deal with them because of an infested mattress we recently purchased and I seem to have gotten rid of them, so it's not impossible. The trick is to eliminate them before they become an infestation.

Given your mother's research, I'd say your safe and have nothing to worry about. Bed bugs only come out to feed, then return to where they're hiding until they feed again. They only feed about once a week and tend to feed in a place where someone will often stay for long periods of time, so it's unlikely that your mother would bring them home.

If it makes you feel any better, there are other precautions you could take to ease your mind. When your mother washes her clothes after visiting, she can wash them on the highest setting to ensure the death of any bugs that might sneak by. You could get food grade Diatomaceous earth and put a generous layer on the floor around the legs of your bed. This will repel any possible bugs while you sleep and any that try to get through this barrier will die.

I'm a huge hypochondriac and I've gotten to where I can't run afford to run to the doctor unless I know there might be a problem.

The other night, I noticed a lump on the upper left side of my chest and there are certain things that bother me about it. I had a relative look at it and she's insisting that it's nothing but a rib. However, I've tried and tried and I can't find an identical lump on the opposite side of my chest, which there should be if it's a rib. Also, it feels slightly softer than a bone, it moves a little, and it hurts. Maybe a better word would be that's it's uncomfortable.

I've looked it up and, aside from cancer, it could be a sebaceous cyst or it could indeed be a bone. Should I get it looked at or am I making too much of this? (link)
No one can diagnose you here. You don't want us telling you it's fine when we simply can't know that for sure. Even if we were doctors, how accurate could our diagnosis be if we can't even see it.

If you want my advise, I would have it looked at. If you're convinced it's not your rib, a doctor might be the only one to convince you otherwise. It's better to be safe than sorry.

But I will say this. I am a hypochondriac as well and I worried myself over a rib. You can move them a bit, so they aren't firmly stationary. And if you do mess with them too much, they can get sore and uncomfortable. And are you sure it's not on the other side? Is there a chance that it just sticks out more than the other side does? No one's body is perfectly symmetrical.

Don't look anything up online, at least no more than you already have. What you're reading is likely a worst-case scenario, something that probably isn't the case. Even if it was a lump, it's probably nothing life-threatening. Looking for answers online could make you far more anxious than you need to be.

Odds are you're fine, but to know for sure go ask your doctor.

So there is this guy ( Im 13 btw ) and he told a few of my friends that he likes me. He told them he was going to ask me out today, but he got to scared so he didn't. He told them he was going to ask me out monday. I don't know what to say. I like him i just want to know do i say yes or sure? and another thing, how do i make it less awkward? I want to talk to him, but in a fun, flirtish kind of way... help! (link)
Yes is better than sure, because it's more absolute. Sure kind of sounds like, "I guess," less certain. So I would go with yes.

I imagine since both of you are so nervous, neither of you are sure what to do next. To make things less awkward, try to think of what to do next and talk about it. Is it going to see a movie? Going to a halloween party perhaps? Talk about things such as these.

I have been dating a guy for 2 years. Throughout this time we have had our ops and downs and I have also found out he is a compulsive liar. A few months ago he started a new job at a restaurant and has been hanging out with some of his coworkers for drinks/pool on the weekends. One of his coworkers seems to have taken interest in him. I have his instagram login and she just recently asked to befriend him on there. Well after he accepts that, he deleted the pictures with me in them. I ask him about it and he claims he deleted more pictures (he didn't) and plans to delete his instagram (don't believe it). I believe he deleted my pictures so his coworker wouldn't see them. Just two days ago he tells me he is going to shoot some pool with "the guys from work". Come to find out, he went to a bar with this girl for her birthday. The fact that he lied about who he was with leads me to believe something is going on. I actually texted the other girl and she claims there is nothing going on between them and they're just coworkers but did apologize for the feelings she has for him. I want to believe her but my gut tells me otherwise. He has done this type of thing before (gone behind my back and seen other women). I want to end the relationship because I don't trust him and I feel dumb to stick around again. What would you do? We are 24/25 if that matters. (link)
If you can't trust him, I would leave him.

I think my guy loves me but sometimes I think like he doesn't even care..he talks to his so called sisters and he doesn't have time for me..he sends messages and
pictures to his so called sisters but he doesn't have time to reply me..and whenever I try to spend some quality time with him he just get busy with his games or movie..i don't have any idea what should I do..we never had any kind of official date till now..I really love him..but I think our thought doesn't match..I can't even stay without him..i can't let him go from my life..and he always cares about his friend more than me..and the main thing is,we are in living relation..I have never been so much addicted of something.
Sometimes it's hard to see how much you're negatively affecting someone until they tell you. So I don't think he understands how hurt you are from this lack of attention. Before you break it off, let him know that you feel left out. Tell him what you feel you need out of the relationship, because he probably doesn't know. Be specific. Make compromises. Don't make decisions based on assumptions, because they could be wrong. It's true that your thoughts don't match, so vocalize them until you both reach an understanding.

I'm having constant fights with my best friend. We've been friends for 3 years. All the previous school year and this summer we were seeing each other every day. We were inseparable. Now this school year started and I got a boyfriend. We've been unofficial for a few months and now for half a month we're official. I believe that she is jealous cause she is single for over a year and that she doesn't want to lose me as a friend. But she is showing it wrong. She keeps making scenes of jealousy, she won't talk to me, she is not even calling me to hang out anymore. I only see her at school. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her as a friend but she needs to understand that she's not right and that even though I have a boyfriend I still love her and she's my best friend. What should I do? (link)
It sounds like she needs reassurance. I would explain to her that you love her, because regardless of how obvious it might seem, she might not know. I would tell her that you'll make time to hang out if she wants that and then do it. While having a boyfriend changes things for you, it won't change what she means to you. Let her know that.

I wouldn't discuss what she's done wrong at all. That might aggravate the hurt feelings she seems to already feel, making things worse. You might feel tempted to point it out because you're right and she's in the wrong, but salvaging the friendship is the end goal here. Not proving who is right and who is wrong.

read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker