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Having a hard time havingn sex
18/ male. After my girlfriend I dated for three years broke up with me, I've had troubles having sex with other girls. Like I want too but I can't get a boner. Basically it takes me a long time to get ready. Girls will get upset and think I dont find them attractive and that's not it, I just can't help it. It wasn't like that with my girlfriend I dated for three years but it is with everyone after her. I don't know know if it's a psychological thing or what but it's really frustrating! Please help
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I haven't heard of this in younger guys but from talk with other women my age, it seems to be more common for older guys, and I am not talking about inability to get hard at all...but selective inability.
You said you had no problem with a past girlfriend of 3 years. I have found that when I was dating after a divorce later in life, Men I met, who were widowed or divorced and were used to that kind of intimacy with a past long term female in their life, found it much harder to be able to perform just at the drop of a hat. They wanted to but they didn't feel any deep connection subconsciously. Sometimes, I was the right kind of personality and they found after multiple times being with me while doing sexual things, that eventually the connection developed as you say psychologically or I choose to say subconsciously. The subconscious mind is not quick to change to something new if its not ready to yet. It it will hold you back from being able to get hard until that subconscious mind is at a point of feeling some stronger feelings than mild interest, surface level attraction as is usual in dating.
However it's safer to not wonder and just go see a doctor to rule out a medical problem. If you have the clean bill of health there, then obviously it's your subconscious mind holding you back for now.
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Do you get morning wood? If it pops up in instances such as that or you have no problem getting one while you masturbate (if you masturbate), then it's probably psychological.
You say it takes you a long time to get ready? Try pleasing her in the process, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Do things for whatever girl your seeing and try not to over think it. While you're doing things for her, if you get excited, great! If not, it's not the end of the world.
If it's not psychological and you can't for any reason seem to get an erection, see a doctor. There could be a physical cause.
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