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I prefer masturbation over sex. is that normal??


Question Posted Sunday October 19 2014, 5:32 am

I'm 20 years old and had a lot of sex in the past 5 years with over 25 partners, but for some reason I prefer masturbation over sex in the past few months which obviously makes my girlfriend of 6 months furious. Is it normal to prefer masturbation over sex or is there something wrong with me??

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Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday October 21 2014, 10:46 pm:
Continueing from what the other advicegiver said, we can actually train our bodies to respond only when we masturbate or have better responses when we masturbate. This easily leads to preferring masturbation. What your body learned to prefer, it can unlearn. I am female and once upon a time preferred masturbation over letting the guy work on my clit. It seems to be a long process for a guy, any guy to get used to how to get me to respond. Only once did a guy seem to get it right from the start. First marriage, hubby never got it. Lots boyfriends after, all but one took time, definately not 6 mos to get to know my body, it can take a year or two or more. If one isn't getting as great an orgasm with their partner giving the hand job, then we're more likely to spend time trying to find satisfaction another way.
As for oral sex, I know darn well that most older guys I've been with needed lots more time to be together with me to gain trust and learn to be comfortable and become intimate with me. They were willing to have sex, wanted it so much but they bodies wouldn't cooperate until a certain depth of closeness was established in the relationship. Same for my 2nd husband and I. Even though we enjoy sex, for each of us to manipulate each other with hands, mouth tongue to orgasm hasn't really begun to happen until the past year and we've been married 5.
If you really like this girl, have a talk with her. Any girl who see's a guy going off to look at porn, masturbate or have sex on the side with another girl, is going to think something might be wrong with her deep down whether she admits feeling that or not, that will drive an anger in her. She needs to know it's not her. Let her know, that some peoples bodies take some time to attune to their partner. Trust me, if two people truly have chemistry together, over time it will become easier and easier to get a partner off with less and less work. You need to let her know that you desire her and want her. As long as porn or masturbation doesnt take time away from you making sure she is totally satisfied sexually, then there shouldn't be a problem other than lack of knowledge on her part. Another fact is that a male can have great sex with his partner and due to him being young, is ready to go soon after for more. Its a fact that many young men have a high need for sexual release even if they have a partner and have a good sex life, it is normal and even okay as long as he doesnt obsess and begin to want and prefer only everything but his partner.
So another question is, are you satisfying your girlfriend? Since females are capable of multiple orgasms in one setting, is she getting as many as she wants, to the point where she feels boneless and her legs like noodles, unable to walk? Or is it just intercourse and she has never had an orgasm. Its easier to pretend for a young man who doesnt know any better but older men know when their lady is having an orgasm or not. So have a talk with her. Find out if she is pleased with what you give her.
If she is truly well taken care of and understands your need for more than she may want to give, then the masturbation should be no problem.

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storageanddisposal answered Tuesday October 21 2014, 11:49 am:
Is it common? Yes, you certainly aren't abnormal.

Is it a problem for your relationship? That's a different matter entirely. Since your girlfriend is furious about it, I'd say it is.

I assume you watch porn while you masturbate, which is fine, but it can desensitize you. I think cutting back could seriously help your relationship.

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