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My boyfriend carries condoms in his wallet?
21/f
Before I start, please do not tell me about the safety of having sex (using condoms to prevent pregnancy, to prevent getting STDs, even if you're on birth control pills, etc.) I am aware of all of these things.
Let me say that my boyfriend and I do not use condoms. We did at first, but I have been on birth control for the past three years. We are also both STD free.
So, my situation is I went through my boyfriend's wallet trying to get a hint of what I should get him for his birthday. His wallet didn't have many things in it and I found a condom. I got to thinking, if we don't usually use condoms, why would he carry one around with him? I thought maybe he forgot about it before he met me or he wanted to be safe just in case? But just in case what? Just in case another girl comes along that he wants to sleep with doesn't give me much of a reassurance.
I just want to understand why or the possibility of him having it would do. I know that if I got him a new wallet, he'll put another condom in it, too. I'm curious on what the purpose may be. Am I thinking too much into it? Should I even be worried about this?
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I am confused as to how searching your boyfriends wallet would help you with birthday gift ideas? Sorry if I'm missing the point but given how little you seem to trust him I wonder if there wasn't another motive for looking through the wallet!?
Trust in relationships is really very very simple in my view. There has to be trust for the relationship to be a happy healthy and positive one. Without trust there will be non of those things.
Obviously no one here can tell you if your boyfriend is cheating or not. What I can say is having a condom in his wallet doesn't mean anything within its self. A lot of guys simply always carry condoms as habit and always have. You don't know how long that condom has been in there even.
This is really not an issue about condoms in wallets it's an issue of trust generally. If you really trusted your boyfriend a condom in a wallet wouldn't send your imagination into overdrive. If your boyfriend has never given you any reason not to trust him then you should ask yourself why you don't. I do not mean this in a critical way - but this is really the important question here.
You could always just ask your boyfriend! Though of course that would mean implying to him you don't trust him and confessing to rooting through his wallet!
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you imagined
Ashok
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You're over thinking it.
It doesn't sound like you have much faith in your boyfriend to be faithful either. That's another issue in itself though.
Maybe he does it by habit or because guys are told to be safe. It could be old, and been there for awhile. Who knows.
If you're really curious, just ask him.
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I agree with the other writers, the condom is probably old and mostly forgotten about. When my father and I had "The Talk." Right after he told me to keep it in my pants he said if you can't do that then use one of these and handed me a condom. That one probably staid in my wallet right up until I entered the Air Force. IT and the wallet are probably buried in some landfill.
You also do not say how long the two of you have been going together. Young people have sex faster today then say there parents or grandparents did. So the condom could just be a leftover of his pre- relationship days with you. Men do not clean out their wallets as often as women do. I just cleaned out mine recently and found a receipt from two years ago.
I would say you are reading far to much into this.
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A lot of guys are told - at some point in their late teens - that they should 'always be prepared' and carry a condom in their wallet. If it's just the one, he probably got it at a some sort of sex-positive place like a residence or student program, or even doctors office.
I doubt this is something to panic about. By all means ask him, but I'd bet there is a perfectly innocent explanation for it being there, even if that explanation is just that it's a really stupid habit of his. Hell, I'd even put money on it having been there for years.
Frankly, the more important thing to tell him, and a way to begin this conversation, is how UTTERLY UNSAFE A CONDOM THAT HAS BEEN STORED IN A WALLET IS TO USE. Condoms should never be bent or pressed, they should never be exposed to extreme heat or cold, they should be kept flat, at room temperature, and thrown out after their expiry date.
Although guys are often told to carry condoms in their wallet, that's horrifically bad advice! A condom carried in that way is almost definitely going to break. What he is preparing himself for, in this way, is a real scare. That condom should be thrown out, and he never store a condom like that ever again. It's a really, really dumb thing to do.
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It could be old, it could be for someone else. There's no way to know just on this fact. Are there any other signs that something is wrong?
It's best not to worry about it, if you can. There's no point in stressing over it prematurely. There will be plenty of time for that if and when you confront him about it.
If you can't let it go, ask him about it at some point. He might have it with someone else in mind, he might not.
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