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Cheating denial
I have been dating a guy for 2 years. Throughout this time we have had our ops and downs and I have also found out he is a compulsive liar. A few months ago he started a new job at a restaurant and has been hanging out with some of his coworkers for drinks/pool on the weekends. One of his coworkers seems to have taken interest in him. I have his instagram login and she just recently asked to befriend him on there. Well after he accepts that, he deleted the pictures with me in them. I ask him about it and he claims he deleted more pictures (he didn't) and plans to delete his instagram (don't believe it). I believe he deleted my pictures so his coworker wouldn't see them. Just two days ago he tells me he is going to shoot some pool with "the guys from work". Come to find out, he went to a bar with this girl for her birthday. The fact that he lied about who he was with leads me to believe something is going on. I actually texted the other girl and she claims there is nothing going on between them and they're just coworkers but did apologize for the feelings she has for him. I want to believe her but my gut tells me otherwise. He has done this type of thing before (gone behind my back and seen other women). I want to end the relationship because I don't trust him and I feel dumb to stick around again. What would you do? We are 24/25 if that matters.
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My gut feeling is that you should end the relationship with your boyfriend since you mention he's a compulsive liar, and that he seen other women behind your back before. Whether or not he is seeing his coworker is not the only issue-- it is the fact that he has had this pattern of behavior before. He may or may not be involved with her, but he doesn't seem like a trustworthy person when it comes to your relationship.
Now, about him shooting pool with the guys-- he may not want you to get upset over his coworker, and he might well be trying to hide that he sees her. Add to that the fact that he deleted photos of you two together on his Instagram account, while you are STILL in a relationship. Why? Why would anyone want to do that unless they are hiding that they are in a relationship? I know you've been together for two years, but that's no reason to have to put up with more than you need to. I can't tell you what to do, but I would advise following your intuition about him. I really don't think he's worth putting up with.
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It seems possible that he isn't actually cheating this time. It seems possible, that even though this girl does have feelings for him, she is respectful of your relationship.
That is possible.
But you are right to be skeptical. He's cheated before, and he is still lying, rather than being honest with you. The deleting photos of you two togeather is seriously sketchy.
It might be time to consider if you can ever trust this guy. Maybe he isn't cheating - this time - but he also isn't being honest with you. You don't have to wait for him to do something truly awful before you are allowed to dump him.
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Since he's lying, there's probably more going on. Unless he thinks if he tells you that he is going to a bar with this girl that you'll freak out and tell him not to, then he really has no legitimate reason to lie. Even though I don't think he should lie even for that reason, I can understand it better.
But like you said, he's gone behind your back with other women before so why should you trust him?
And without trust, there's no relationship.
He would have no reason to delete pictures of you and no reason to lie to you about hanging out with a girl if she is just a friend.
So staying with someone you don't trust with just make things worse for you. You'll always be wondering if he's really out with the guys when he tells you.
If I were in your shoes, I would end it.
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If you can't trust him, I would leave him.
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