I also cannot stand when people automatically get defensive, especially when someone is trying to patch things up and make things better. It all boils down to insecurity. People who are insecure are not comfortable enough in their own skin, or around other people, and tend to automatically get offended, since their insecurity makes them ultra sensitive to any sort of criticism- constructive or otherwise. You are clearly being the mature one by trying to fix any problem that might arise between you and your friend, but your friend is not having it, because he either cannot possibly see where he might have gone wrong (which is selfish and arrogant), or is totally defensive and overly sensitive. My guess is that both factors come into play.

Your best bet is to calmly explain to your friend that you are only concerned with the friendship and want to make things better and be on good terms. If he continues acting defensive and cannot appreciate the fact that you are trying to patch things up, then he is too selfish and/or immature for you to keep in your life. Trust me, I have been through this type of situation many times before, and it's not easy. But people like him are often bad news, so you are under no obligation to continue having him be a part of your life....unless of course you consider him to be a super great friend, who happens to have this one flaw...in which case, if he is such a great friend, and values your friendship, he will have to start being more mature about all this. If not, then he's simply not worth it.

Most likely, it's older blood- and usually appears mid-cycle, or when your period is almost over. Clotting is normal, depending on how much clotting you have, and how big the clots are. If you notice they are exceptionally large (the size of, say, a quarter, or larger), and you get them all the time, you should talk to your doctor or gynecologist, as it might be a sign of polycystic ovarian syndrome. Not to worry you- there are medications, that can help keep it at bay.

Most likely, you have normal clotting, and the brownish blood is just old blood that has passed through. You should see if your clotting is excessively frequent and/or large, and if so, see a doctor.

That's interesting- I was thinking the exact same thing the other day. I was having lunch, and noticed an old lady eating alone, and she looked sad and lonely. It made me feel really bad for her. Honestly, I cannot see how we can think positively about it. The truth is that a lot of old people rely on pension to get by, and many have very few visitors, and have no choice but to go about their lives alone, at least much of the time. Because of all of this, some old people eat alone at inexpensive restaurants. I notice it too, and it does make me sad.

One thing you could do to make both yourself, and the elderly feel better, is to smile, and say hello to them, whenever you happen to see them. I'm sure it would brighten up their day. You could also volunteer at a retirement home . I used to do that in High School- mainly talking to some of the residents, taking them down to lunch, taking them out in the garden... my friend and I even gave some old women manicures once, it was really cute, and they were so happy with it- and we also helped at a birthday party for one of the residents. You are only asked to do very simple things, but anything you do to help is fulfilling. One thing though, since the residents are all old, there is always a chance that you will hear about one or more of them passing away, if you do choose to volunteer. It is sad, but if you remind yourself that it is a part of life, you will get by. Being able to make old folks' life more enjoyable is really what matters.

Your pictures are beautiful, and you do have an eye for photography. I am not a photographer, but it's my hobby, and something I absolutely love to do. As for the first few photos at the top, I like how you had an object (wooden slabs?) be the focus of the photo. It is something random, and not particularly beautiful, but you gave it beauty through your photograph. I also like to take pictures of random things/objects or even an unexpected angle of a building or something as simple as a bench or staircase- photography gives beauty and meaning to the otherwise ordinary.

Just like you did with the first few photos, it is good to have focus on one particular object, and you might even want to experiment with taking shots from particular angles (you can try it out with absolutely anything you see that catches your eye or inspires you).

Your nature shots are beautiful, and make me want to be there! I also like the pictures that have the fence, and behind it, beautiful scenery. The fence adds something to the photo- it's like your personal touch.

I looked at the photos on other pages, and I can tell you, they are beautiful and very well taken. The lighting gives wonderful contrast and highlights very well- you can always use good lighting to your advantage, even if it's artificial light.

Lastly, I love the pictures of the flowers- for instance, the picture of the bunch of yellow daisies (page 3) is taken from a good angle (bottom-up), which makes the daisies appear very tall, and almost like a group of soldiers, but pretty, haha. If you can, invest in a good camera, and start taking some photography classes, even at a local community college. If you really have a passion for photography, and can imagine yourself making a living from it, then go for it. Do not listen to anyone who tells you it's impractical or whatever- do what you like. Keep a portfolio of your best works, for if you do end up applying to schools. I do not know which schools have good photography programs. You might want to research art schools in the United States (assuming you live here)- and look into living in a major city with a booming industry and appreciation for art (maybe New York). Good job! and good luck :)

Tea tree oil might help you. You can find if at most drugstores or health food stores (like Trader Joe's). It can help, since it is a natural antiseptic- might help with killing whatever it is that causes the dandruff (it's either bacterial or fungal). Tea tree oil also helps with itching. It is very potent and strong, so using too much is harmful to your scalp. Use a couple of drops, along with your shampoo, and make sure to massage your scalp, and leave it on for at least a few minutes. I don't know for sure if this will help, but it can't hurt. I think it might actually work for you. Tea tree oil can be used for other things as well- bug bites, pimples, cuts/scrapes... it's safe and versatile.

She has hopefully already taken Plan B, if not, go with her to Planned Parenthood, or a clinic, and get it for her. Like others have said, it can work up to three days after unprotected sex--
and today is the three day mark. But I'm assuming she's already taken it.

I (female) have been in the same situation, and believe me, it is absolutely gut wrenching to think you might be pregnant. Support is the key- you really have to be there for her. Having someone there to listen and comfort her will make the difference between being totally alone and worried, to knowing that you're in it together, and things will work out fine. At this point, she might be worried that Plan B (assuming she's taken it) did not work..she still has to wait a bit to find out if she is pregnant (which is unlikely). In about 10-14 days, offer to take her to a clinic or planned parenthood, so she can get a pregnancy test. If she wants to talk to a nurse, see if she wants you to be there with her. Remind her that you will be there for her, and that things will work out. She needs you there--you both are in this together- it's not just her issue to deal with. She might want to consider going on birth control, especially if you two are in a committed relationship.

In all likelihood, if she has already taken plan B, she is probably not pregnant. Again, she has to get a pregnancy test at a clinic or gynecologist ( and not just a home pregnancy test) to make completely sure. If the condom broke due to lack of lubrication- then she either needs more foreplay, or you might want to use some lube beforehand. Or maybe you did not pinch the resevoir (tip) to get all the air out beforehand? Whatever the reason, learn what not to do next time, so you can avoid this situation. I know how much it sucks.

This might not be what you want to hear, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to his place on the second date- it's clear that you are uncomfortable and unsure about it. There is nothing wrong with hanging out at his place, but you really shouldn't do anything you aren't entirely sure of. Besides, you two have only gone out once before, and if things go well, there's plenty of time for you to step things up and go to his place or invite him over.

I would recommend taking things a bit more slowly- even if it doesn't feel right to do so, you will thank yourself. You could let him know that you had a great time with him, and would like to have a second date somewhere else- you could bring up some ideas, like dinner, a walk around town (more so if you live in a city), whatever you'd like. You did mention that the idea of being alone with him at his house makes you feel nervous--that is a clear sign that you are not ready to. If you go, and let your nerves take the better half of you, you might do things you are not yet ready to do, and regret it afterwards. It's too soon to think about those things. Healthy relationships progress naturally, and are based on mutual respect. If he does not respect your (possible) choice not to hang out at his place just yet, then he doesn't respect you, or deserve you. Be honest with him, and see how he responds. If he is a respectful person, he will understand.

I know exactly how you feel. We all need to exercise and keep active, but the truth is, it isn't easy for many of us to keep motivated. The key is to find something you enjoy doing, and set aside time during the week to exercise. First, you need to ask yourself what type of activities you are most likely to enjoy. Are you an outdoor person? Do you like structured workouts, like aerobics or cycling classes, or just working out on your own (treadmill, etc.)? Do you like low key, spiritual type exercise (like yoga)? Figure out what kind of exercise you like- if you do not enjoy what you are doing, you will not have the motivation to continue. Some things you might like- bike riding outdoors, swimming laps, jogging, yoga... or classes at the gym. Whatever type of thing you prefer, stick to that, and set a flexible schedule...start off small, maybe twice a week, and once you get into it, you can increase how long and how often you will exercise.

One thing though, for toning up (legs/stomach), and keeping healthy, swimming laps is one of the best overall exercises. All parts of your body are being worked out at the same time- arms, legs, even abs. It also keeps you focused. You could swim laps at your local gym, if they have a pool. Yoga is also great for toning down your body, and it helps you stay focused and concentrate, just like swimming. It is also a spiritual activity, depending on the type of yoga you practice. If neither of those appeal to you, you can try cycling- if you have a bike, try to get in the habit of bike riding around the neighborhood. It's great for your legs, and stomach, particularly if you also bike uphill. Cycling classes are also offered at many gyms. So, in sum, yoga, swimming, bike riding, and jogging, will help you tone your legs and stomach. Once you get into the routine (it usually takes about 2 weeks to feel totally motivated and in the routine), you will feel much more active, motivated, and strong. As for the stretch marks, I don't know if I can help... you could try rubbing vitamin E or cocoa butter regularly and see if it helps overtime... maybe even a quick internet search will help you. Good luck with everything!

You could always go halfway, as tipping for the special price might be a little low. It is a nice gesture, especially if you receive good service and are happy with the results. In the end, it's up to you. I would probably tip for the normal price, unless it's way higher than the special. I would say that tipping 20% or so is safe.

It's absolutely normal to become bored with sex, or anything else for that matter. It doesn't mean that you don't care for your boyfriend; some things just start getting old. I think that you might have gotten bored of the same old, so I suggest you and your boyfriend start trying different stuff out. I cannot give exact pointers, but you can try different positions, fantasies, sex toys, etc., anything that makes you feel more in the mood. You don't have to tell him that you're bored of sex- it's a much better idea to randomly try something out, like maybe a striptease or different position, and see how both of you like it. If he asks, you can just say that you'd like to try different things to add variety and turn both of you on more.

It's always a good idea to experiment and try new things in the bedroom- we simply are not programmed to enjoy the same exact thing, time and again, mostly because it's no longer novel and we know what to expect. Oh, and as for your second question, if you were thinking about the video you watched while having sex, then chances are it affected your mood and took your mind off of what mattered- the sex. You should not focus on anything stressful, boring, etc., while having sex-- relax, take your mind off things, and focus solely on making you and your boyfriend feel good.

Most likely, it was caused by some sort of blockage in the hair follicle, which got so badly infected that it turned into a boil. The black looking dot was probably a really deep ingrown hair that had been forming for months, without you noticing it until it got painful. It could also be an infection or reaction caused by a bug bite. The best thing to do is see a dermatologist, who will let you know what it is most likely to be, just by looking at it. They might prescribe some sort of ointment. You will be fine- your appointment is in only a day. If your regular doctor cannot help (which is unlikely), they might refer you to a dermatologist.

Try not to pick at either of the pimples- it can only make it worse by introducing new bacteria into the area. These things can happen from out of nowhere. I once got an infection on my thigh- which turned out to be a boil....once it drained, a LOT of pus came out. I'm thinking that you might have the same thing. You might have gotten another one, if the pus from your previous pimple/boil blocked a different hair follicle- this is why you shouldn't touch it. If it looks like it's getting really big/deep, your doctor or dermatologist will most likely drain it.

Are you the youngest child, or relative? I am sure that you are not being treated as badly as you think- sometimes the youngest in the family are the last ones to find out about important things; trust me, I would know. Your family does care about you. After all, they did tell you that what affects you, affects them. As for the hospital incident, they might have been so caught up about what was going on with your grandmother, that they did not think to pull you in the middle of it. And as the columnist below mentioned, they might not have wanted to put a burden on you.

My guess is that since you already live away from home (college, perhaps), and might have to deal with school/work, it did not occur to them to get you involved right away. At the same time, three weeks is quite long, and they really should have informed you a lot earlier- she's your grandmother. For your own sake, let your family know how you feel, and try not to bottle things up inside. You should start by saying that you were hurt that you did not find out about your grandmother until a few weeks after she was taken to the hospital. Just let them know how you feel about how you are treated. It might be in your head, or it might not. Regardless, you will have to be mature, and not turn this into something that would come across as yelling or whining. Just tell them, firmly and plainly, that you would like for them to let you know about important things that are going on, and that you feel you are not included in the family as much as you deserve to be. If they are understanding, they will reassure you, and try to do something about it. All the best.

This isn't just a matter of sexual preference, it's a matter of right and wrong. For your girlfriend's uncle- a blood relative- to have given her head, is not only morally wrong, it is illegal (and highly punishable by law) and downright disgusting. I suggest..actually, I implore you to break up with her. Anyone who is okay with doing anything sexual, or having any physical contact whatsoever with a relative, has major issues. Even if she is not okay with what happened, she went ahead and did it, which shows that at the very least, she is highly insecure. You need to get out of the relationship for your own sake. Also, it might be a good idea for you to ask her if she is okay about it, or if she has any anger toward her uncle for what happened. She might be in denial and needs some sort of help. But in the end, you also need to look out for yourself. Dating someone who took part in a sexual act with a relative is just not okay. You can suggest, if she is traumatized in some way, that she get therapy or some sort of help. Her uncle, frankly, should be behind bars. And your relationship with her should be put behind you- end it.

There are lots of ways of finding out if someone likes you, but some people are very subtle about the way they show you. Generally, if guys, in particular, remember some detail about you and repeat it back randomly, they might be interested in you; their subtle way of showing you they care about what you say/who you are. Also, if a guy makes an effort to talk to you often, they may be interested in you- guys, unlike girls, don't usually go out of their way to talk to you or make plans with you, unless they like you in some way (girls might just think the guy is nice, for example, and just want to hang out as friends). You might notice if a guy looks at you in a certain way at times, like a shy sort of glance. There isn't a sure fire way of knowing if a guy is into you, but sometimes you can just tell. In your case, it might be a good idea to suggest meeting for coffee or something outside class- see how he responds. Either he likes you, and will not turn down a chance to meet up with you at some point, or he only sees you as a friend, and will either A) meet for coffee (or whatever) but only as friends, aka, no flirting, asking you out, etc., or B) not meet up with you, so as to not give you the wrong impression. I am no expert, believe me. But I have been in enough situations like this, in which I have sensed patterns. You will too- people generally do similar things/act in certain ways when they like someone. It's up to you to figure out for sure if he is attracted to you, and if so, would like to maybe go out with you. Just remember- many things in life are intuitive.

That only means that you are even more attracted to this person, to the point where they make you feel out of breath. I have gotten like this too- you're super attracted to this person, and that makes you feel nervous. The butterfly sensation happens when you have a crush on someone- but when you have a huge crush, you sometimes get out of breath, like you described. No worries; overtime the feeling may subside :)

Yeah, it should be clear-ish. If your mucus is constantly bright yellow or green, it might be a sign of some sort of infection (maybe even a sinus infection). First, avoid picking your nose. Ask yourself if your nose is consistently stuffy and congested, even after you blow your nose. Your sinuses might be congested, or you might have a sinus infection or allergies; there is no way of knowing. If you do feel like you cannot breath properly, that your nose always feels congested, and that your mucus is always bright green, you should see a doctor, who might refer you to an ENT (ear/nose/throat) specialist, if needed.

I recommend using a sinus rinse- even if you don't have an infection, it will help clear out your nasal passages and help you breath better overtime. You can find the "Neil Med" sinus rinse and sodium solution packets (mix) at a drugstore, or online. Make sure you get the squeeze bottle one, not the netti ceramic pot (the squeeze bottle allows the solution to more effectively clear out your nasal passages). You can get refills of the solution packets as well.

You should probably talk to your doctor and see what, if anything, needs to be done. If you have a sinus infection, you will probably be instructed to use a sinus rinse, and possibly be put on antibiotics. No one online can tell you what you might have, so seeing a doctor is your best bet.

I don't think it's a good idea to continue keeping in touch with this guy. Not only does he live far away from you, you only communicate online, and for all you know, he could secretly be a creep. I have read stories in magazines where a girl gets to know someone online- they seem very sweet and charming, and the two hit it off. When they met in person, however, things were not so sweet- some girls get raped this way. I have no idea who this person is, but sorry to say, neither do you. You are better off ignoring him, or maybe letting him know that you are a) young, and b) too far away from him to establish anything. You have to move on, and soon enough, find someone who you actually know in person, and who you could really establish something with. You never know what kinds of creeps there are out there, who use the internet to lure young women into their sick worlds. You are better safe than sorry.

It isn't easy for guys to apologize- most of the time, an apology is an apology. It does seem that he is genuinely sorry for whatever happened between the two of you, and wants to make things better. That said, I cannot give you a straight answer on what you should do, since I have no idea what happened in your relationship in the past. You are going to have to think things through, and weigh out what the likelihood is that he has in fact changed. It wouldn't hurt for you to meet up with him for coffee or lunch, and to be firm about your take on things- without being bitchy, but still remaining grounded and strong. Hear him out- he may genuinely regret anything he has done in the past to hurt you, and has realized after losing you, just how much you mean to him. That is a possibility. But there's also the possibility that he hasn't really changed, and might repeat some of the same mistakes. So I think you should meet up with him in a casual setting, where you can talk, and don't get too emotional or lulled into thinking that things will turn out perfectly. Just remain fairly impartial, and take a step back, looking at things objectively. Ask yourself whether he is sincere, if his eyes/way he talks makes him seem like he really means it, etc. Also, don't be afraid to ask him why he thinks he deserves another chance, and what he will do to change things if you get back together again. In the end, if you think he has changed and deserves another chance, take things slowly, and be cautious, but not too on-guard. Let things progress naturally, and see where things go. But that's only if YOU feel he deserves to have you again.

You should definitely call your orthodontist- he probably adjusted the retainer too much. See if you can make an appointment and go in soon.. let him know what your concerns are, and that you feel your teeth have been pushed back even further. He will either re-adjust your retainer, or have a new one made for you. It is not the case that he doesn't know what he's doing-- there is no way for him to know how much pain you're in or how badly the retainer fits, unless you tell him. This time, let your concerns be known, and when you try on the newly adjusted retainer the next time, definitely be picky and let your ortho know if it still feels painful/too tight. Keep in mind though, that it will feel tight and uncomfortable in the beginning, as your teeth have shifted a bit. Just remember to keep letting your orthodontist know how your retainer feels, every time he adjusts it.

That is a difficult situation to be in. I don't see why you two shouldn't go out- since there is a mutual attraction, and she already wants to go out with you, you should at least see how things go with her. You even mentioned that you think she's awesome, which is a very good sign. I am sure that you know what kind of a person she is already. Just because she is your best friend's sister, doesn't mean that she is off limits. You aren't doing anything wrong in this situation. I think that you should talk to her about it and let her know that you feel a bit uncomfortable going out with her behind her brother's back, and see how if she is okay with maybe having the two of you explain to her brother that you really like each other and get along well, and that you are interested in seeing each other. You don't have to tell him that you have already been going out, but that you are going to-- but you should definitely talk to her first, and then come to an agreement on how best to let her brother know. It might be awkward for all three of you- but the important thing to remember is that you two like each other in more ways than one, and that nothing should get in the way of your relationship. Your friend will have to accept it... and considering how long you two have known each other, it might be a lot easier for him to do so. Doing anything behind anyone's back is never really the way to go.

HELLO (or ciao!), I'm Roya, 25 Female

I am here for no other reason than to give honest, straightforward advice. What I say may not be what you want to hear, but that is not of my concern. My only purpose is to give logical, sound advice, and only when I feel I have something to contribute.

I am probably one of the more random and eclectic people out there, so my interests (and thus, what I like to give advice on) range from music to politics to sex to life to....almost anything, as long as it's deep, meaningful, fun, a little crazy...and a lot like life. So, in short, with my eclectic personality, there's not a whole lot I'm unwilling to answer.

**Bottom line: If I can help out, I am willing to give honest advice.

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