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Escapism
I daydream a lot and I did a little research and I am not sure if it is a maladaptive daydreaming. I think it becoming a problem because I don't like pain. However, when I have a painful experience I create a scenario in my head. The scenario is even more painful but I am in control of what happens. During these daydream I get emotional because they are very painful experience but it worse than the pain I am going through. It my way to escape and process my emotion. I can cry without dealing with my actually emotionally pain.
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Sorry for the late reply- I just saw this. What you're doing, while not a healthy way of coping with emotional pain, is a way of temporarily escaping your experiences instead of confronting them and dealing with them. More often though, people create daydreaming scenarios that are positive. For instance, if someone is going through a hard time emotionally, a positive daydream (such as a different life or reality) helps make them feel a little better, temporarily. You mention that you daydream about painful experiences-- it seems that imagining a scenario that is more painful helps to lessen the pain of your current experience. Think of it this way, if someone gets a small, but painful bruise, they can imagine a much larger and more painful bruise, and suddenly what they are going through doesn't seem as bad. Someone else might get a bad grade on their exam, and then imagine failing to make it seem like they are better off. In your case, you may have some emotional pain, but by imagining even worse pain, you temporarily reduce how badly you feel. It's all a maladaptive coping mechanism. The problem with doing this, is that it prevents you from really dealing with whatever is causing you pain.
You mention that you did a bit of research on maladaptive daydreaming-- which I believe is what you describe. You may have seen this website already, it is full of information on maladaptive daydreaming. This is thought to be caused by some sort of earlier trauma in life. It's really just a way of temporarily (if even just mentally) escaping the pain of one's current circumstances. Here's the website:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
While it is normal for people to daydream when they are going through difficult times, it becomes a problem when it is done repetitively. I would suggest talking things through with a friend, or if possible, a counselor or psychologist (if you are a student, school counselors or university counselors should be available). It's good that you recognize what you're doing and are concerned. You can do lots of things to help ease the pain-- like taking part in a hobby, talking to friends, exercising or doing yoga, meditating, etc. It's important that you learn to take care of yourself emotionally. When you notice that you are about to daydream, practice gently acknowledging that you are daydreaming and try to figure out what it is that may have triggered you to do so. Be gentle on yourself. Everyone struggles in life- the key is to find healthier ways to cope.
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What is your question tho?
I'm confused to the actual problem. Is it when your mind starts to interfere and get in between the process of physical pain, or is it the other way, and the real pain In fact, is emotional, but you create a mental, physical pain to deal with it?
In any case the problem you are facing is that pain is in the mind and you find the need to amplify it. The person you should see, to maybe stop this experience is a phsycyratrist, shrink, or therapist, whatever you call them.
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I think you've answered your own question, sort of. What you've described could be called maladaptive I suppose, but I think it's more of a defence mechanism, your mind makes up new scenarios that are worse than the real-life situation. As you are in control, you can deal with it and it makes sense to you, you feel secure and safe. The real-life situation is out of your control, you don't know where it will go, what may happen to you or those around you. The very worst could happen and you would have no place to go. I think you are on the long range of normality; we all have defence mechanisms, such as denying something happened, or forgetting something in the past that is too painful to think about.
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Hey sorry for the late reply :)
Firstly do not do any research on your own to come to a conclusion.. It might not be something that you think it is!
The thing is by day dreaming.. We try to escape from our mundane life and go into something that we actually want to happen!:)
So I'd suggest you talk to a therapist about it, as they will be able to understand what exactly happens when you are going through the series of emotions like that!
Seek professional help is what I would tell you... There is little that we can help you with when professional help is required!
I'm assuming that you have gotten into the habit of making up scenarios which are bad.. So firstly tell yourself to stop thinking too much.. When u see yourself do that... Distract yourself and keep yourself occupied.
Let me know if you need any help :)
Take care :D
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Honestly, im not really sure what you're asking. .but im sorry whatever it is that is causing you pain.im guessing that seeing you day dream about more Painful things ..could be paranoia thinking of things that could happen worse. . I would hope whatever pain your dealing with I hope you find away to live your life happier. I hope you find a better and happier daydream, to dream. Again I'm sorry for what you are dealing with.
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This could actually be a sign of slight depression or; as you said, ''maladaptive daydreaming.''
I suggest you try and go to a therapist or a doctor and ask them about it since they are more likely to be able to give you a clear over view of whats happening.
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You are not in the moment read the Eckhart Tolle book The POWER OF THE NOW.I cant explain exactly why thats why i am connecting you with an Expert on the matter. (you are getting too much pain he also talks in the beginning of the book about the same and after that he just cracked his ego and got into the NOW after this intense pain). HIT me up with some other questions you have. And remember pain is good so you can become ANTIFragile
stay STRONG ..
NIck
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Okay well firstly I apologise iCloud not answer sooner an secondly I think your problem is you have past issues that have not correctly been dealt with inside your head and your heart, the first step to overcoming this is to deal with any painful memories let them play out while sitting meditating in a quiet room let them guide you to your central point your daydreams will hopefully subside after dealing with these issues try and see a psychologist if this advice does not work. Your best way to get a psychologist is through your doctor. Good luck.
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Well, here is what I have to say about that. I think first you really have to think about what is giving you that pain, and try to figure out how to help it.
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Hi there. You sound to me as though you understand the process and that you are perfectly in control so you've pretty much answered your own question. It is indeed a not uncommon psychological mechanism we use to 'process' our own anguish. It's really the motive force driving tragedy in literature and all the performing arts, and of course film and TV since the early 20th century. We vicariously 'put ourselves through' the pain and anguish of the characters in the fictional scenario in order to understand our own emotions better. We 'feel it' but in a controlled way, without the full-on and gut-wrenching misery of experiencing it personally. Tragedy is such a common motif, always has been since the first Greek (the inventors of theatre) tragedies. This is primarily why we have, and continue to indulge it. It's a very good and effective way of processing personal anguish and strong emotions indeed. A proper 'safety valve' if you like and an experience we also learn from. I guess many people 'do it' and find it liberating and that it satisfies some internal need, without ever analysing it and researching it the way you have. While some may watch a tragic film or play, read a tragic novel or watch/listen to one of those emotionally-charged Italian operas maybe, you appear to be creating your own fantasy scenaria to process your real world emotional turbulence? Not everybody has the creative ability to do this of course. You clearly have. The fact that the tragic and dramatic events are rather 'amplified' in your 'daydreams' is no problem. The events in tragic fiction are often likewise 'supercharged'. You sound fine to me. An imaginative and creative sort, who feels deeply and is managing their emotions in a sound way. Maybe at some stage in your life you might want to channel it, and have a go at writing a short story or something? Replies a bit late, sorry been occupied. Hope you enjoyed xmas and best wishes for 2015.
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Hello and happy Holidays! (:
Well my friend, it sounds to me that it is indeed maladaptive daydreaming, I myself have had this problem...I daydream quite a lot whenever I am not putting my mind to use; being focused on something.
Yes sometimes the scenarios can seem very real and be very painful, they are usually triggered by something..you must identify what it is that triggers these thoughts that unfold into daydreams.
I have had the very painful daydreams happen...they have been triggered by numerous things and they seem to be linked by emotional and psychological trauma I have been through from my past growing up and from past romantic relationships.
I have had a psychologist help me through a recent break up that left me nearly insane and emotionally stunted; the past month and a half have been a major break through and I have been able to realize when my "mind" is drifting and I can now stop myself 3 out 5 times.
The key here is to keep yourself occupied, if your mind is focused on something; preferably something constructive, than you don't have time to wonder and daydream.
However, considering you seem to be using this as emotional coping mechanism it might be harder; I am assuming you play over whatever it is that you have hidden and or kept bottled up emotional; so you create a scenario in your head where you act upon your feelings or something of the sort.
You need to work on expressing your feelings and unleashing whatever part of yourself you are suppressing, which you are living through vicariously with these daydreams.
I will link this site that can help inform you further and it has boards you can talk to others about MDD: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I hope this helped, feel free to contact me again if you wish too! Good luck stranger~
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im.sorry I'm not sure what your question is
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Hello and thank you for your question to my inbox, it is my pleasure to help you with this.
I am a Hypnotherapist, Nero Linguistic Programing Practitioner and Transformational Life Coach. I have also studied / trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I am not sure if perhaps you knew this hence why sent your question in my direction or not - in any event, it is my pleasure to help.
It is difficult to give a very specific answer to your question because this is obviously a very complex issue that you describe but I only have a very basic outline of it from you. Its the sort of thing I would need to be able to discuss with someone face to face so as to really understand it. You seem to be suggesting you create a scenario in your mind as a form of escapism from difficult or painful events or feelings, and whilst that make believe scenario is something worse than the reality - you feel in control of it and therefore its easier to deal with than the reality.
The first thing to understand is that we are very driven by our subconscious mind and unless you have learned how to understand an effect the unconscious mind then it can end up taking you in a direction which you do not want to go!! But its important to understand this: All behaviour has a positive intent. Your unconscious mind only ever tries to keep you safe and well. Giving you a form of escapism in which you have greater control and allows you to hide from difficult real life events sounds exactly like the work of your subconscious trying to help you out but not actually getting it right for you!!
Have you ever heard of Nero Linguistic Programing (NLP)? If not it probably sounds strange and complicated but its not. The greatest gift NLP can give you is how to understand and effect your subconscious mind - how to take ownership of the subconscious mind and bring it under your command.
A good place to start learning about NLP is here
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
kate and Toby are master NLP practitioners and trainers - they have produced a really good app which is free and is a great way of learning the basics of NLP and applying them to your own life. You can read more about Kate and Toby and their app on the website. There is actually an amazingly huge amount of NLP resources and information online.
Joseph Clough is a Hypnotherapist and Transformational Life Coach and he is amazing. He has produced many free self hypnosis tracks and free coaching videos and audio tracks. They are available online and via his free apps. He also has a fantastic book 'Be Your Potential' available in print and as an ebook and audiobook. Check Joseph and his work out
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I have tried to point you in the direction of some things that may help you. However I do go back to my earlier point - this is something that needs more detailed discussion. I would therefore encourage you seek out a professional you can go to to discuss the issues you are experiencing in more detail.
I want to finish by telling you a truth which is maybe not a truth you feel right now. That truth is that whatever you think you are you are more than that - even more beautiful inside and out and even more amazing than you ever thought. You are an intelligent complex amazing being with boundless possibility and potential within you.
Good luck and take care
Ashok
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Hi sweetie,hey daydreaming is a wonderful thing
Our minds can easily play trick on us too and sometimes we get caught up in our daydream and they take us away from reality.
Rest assured,you are not alone.I too dealt with it for awhile.When I start daydreaming I immediately snap my fingers,immediately I come out of my daydream.Getting use to this habit will help nip it in the bud!
Take care doll!
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