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hey remember me? well if u don't am zat girl who asked you for help coz of trouble being in love with a boy but couldn't say any thing, who said zat we talk by e-mail but not in person and zat he was shy....... anyways we had our first dance on a party that we celebrated in class as he held my hand and took me to the dance floor when i tought he was gonna say hi to me, how great huh... we talk more now in person but the funniest thing is that now we don't talk by e-mail even if both online i don't know wat we have but i don't deny we have a strong chemistry its amazing, i can't even study thinking about him n seeing if he goes offline or not, i think am going to marry him as every body said, so what do u advice me to do coz am totally lost???
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hi girl! You ain't lost...your found! I know these days people seem obsessed about communicating via electronic media. Social networking. Who likes me on Facebook...who's saying what about me...and so on. That's fine. But this chemistry you're talking about. You can't really give it out and feel it on a mobile smartphone or typing on a laptop can you mate? I'm sure holding hands, and feeling him close against you dancing felt about a million times better than any old email or posting a photo on some website, eh? And that's really the way it should be, isn't it? "Talking in person" seems a bit of an alien concept to a lot of younger guys and girls these days I reckon? But how about when your eyes meet, and he mirrors your smile right back at ya...and you notice all those little fleeting expressions and body movements? Would you swap that for an online connection? No chance! Congratulations. You sound pretty crazy about him. Sounds like he feels it too. Go for it. In person. Forget the rest. It's just electronic smoke and mirrors. Have a great Christmas and let's hope he's the one. And the New Year's the best yet for you two as well. XXX
ps.I know you're all loved-up but don't ignore all your studies. He'll want a bright girl who's going somewhere with her life. One he's well proud of...will he not??
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I see nothing wrong with not talking by email or in FB, snapchat or some other social media. I come from a time when the only choice I had WAS to talk in person, no cell phones or PC's yet. If I had to compare young relationships of today with my time in the past, current relationships are not really a relationship if all they do when apart is text and when they are together, they're both checking their iphones and playing games on it. Many young people do not know how to talk face to face or spend time doing things together. There's a great disconnect going on and since good communication is important to success of a relationship, these so called relationships never get off the ground. If you both enjoy each other and are talking, I see no problem for you.
Having those butterfly feelings inside, your heart leaping or doing somersaults, is all because of hormones. Once you got to puberty, the hormones that bring on your period and grow breasts, also make your body aware of and able to respond to any member of the opposite sex that you find attractive. These feelings and the mind being distracted by it is normal too. You will just have to work harder at staying focused on doing homework or chores, etc. I have an article I wrote explaining the purpose of dating, this is keeping in mind the future, with a long term relationship or a marriage and I hope it helps you understand what should be happening while you date. Here it is:
At your point in age, the object is not to practice longevity of relationship, sticking together long term even if its not a perfect dating relationship. The object is not to prove to yourself or others that you can stick with someone long term...that comes in later years after you have a clue what kind of person you want to end up life long with.
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.
Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you don't like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years.
If you break up, you look for the next dating partner, always trying to find someone a step better than the last partner, basing your choices for the new person on traits you discovered in the last person that you liked enough to look for in the next person, while at the same time avoiding the other things that you won't tolerate.
If all is going well and you develop some serious feelings for each other, you take the relationship from just dating to the committed couple level. At this level, depending on your age, you are dating each other exclusively or if adults, moving in together or getting married.
If you find you keep having the same issues, no matter which guy you date, either you never learned from the past relationship, or perhaps more of the issues are with you and you need to be honest with yourself as to what issues you need to work on within yourself before you can make a good dating partner. I can't begin to stress how helpful having a list of what I liked and wanted and needed in a guy was to me in finding my 2nd husband. It should work just as well at any age, including high school dating too.
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