NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: Hello, I'm freaking out and don't know what to do. I'm completely out of money and overdrafted by -$10 in my account.

I'm a college student who just moved off to college less than a month ago and found a new job three weeks ago. It turned out though that in the first two weeks my job didn't give me very many hours as I was training so I only wound up with about $110 for the first week and haven't been paid yet for this last week and won't be paid for this week until next Thursday or later.

My issue is that I have a car payment and car insurance which totals about $425 together and my car insurance was taken out this morning, which is what overdrafted me.

I even sold a watch that I loved to make money ($80) but I sold it online and now I won't get paid for it until the buyer gets it and accepts it, but who knows when that will be when I just shipped it today.

My car payment ($316) is due on the 26th and though I have a grace period I have no idea how I'm going to be able to make this!!!

Fortunately, because I am a college student I at least have a meal plan so I can depend on that for food during the week. However, I have no money for food on the weekends or anything else I might need. I'm also 100 miles behind on an oil change in my car so I don't even feel safe driving it and it needs a synthetic change which is $60! I don't know what to do, I feel like everything is a giant disaster right now!

I can't ask my mom or dad for money because they don't have any to spare and I'm stuck on campus without any friends since I'm new here.

Please help me with some ideas!

I'm going to assume that your income after your work picks up will be enough to cover your costs - if not, you'd be looking at a whole other set of decisions.

What not to do: don't go for any of those instant loan places. They charge exorbitant interest rates (sometimes over 5000%!) and it's really hard to get out of debt once you start with them.

You could try to make a little extra money - if you live in a student area, you may be able to put that car to use by signing up with Uber or Lyft.

Really, though, I think your best option is to give the company your car loan is with a call. See if you can postpone the car payment. Explain your circumstances, and they may be able to hold off until your next paycheck comes in. A lot of companies have a process for these types of things, especially if you have a history of making your payments on time.

For your food situation, you may want to look into food banks. I know my college has a food bank for students in need.

In the end, being overdrawn isn't the end of the world. It's not ideal, but it won't hurt you in the long run as long as you work your way back up.

Q: How would you feel if your significant other said that your approval means the world to me ?
For example:
your significant other asks your opinion on something
Then you give your honest opinion and say you approve of it
And then your significant other says "thank, your approval means the world to me"
What does it mean when someone says that ? And how would you feel if someone said it to you?

It means that they really care about what you think. It's definitely a good thing.

It's like if you had a friend who was really good at writing, and you wanted her to check out something you've written because you respect her opinion more than the average person's.

Q: I met a guy on deviant art who was 20 (I'm 13 but I turn 14 on January 7th) and we started talking. I never had my age or name up on my profile. Or how I looked like. So he didn't know how old I was or any of that. He saw my art, though and thought I was so great. He had a fan fiction series he was writing and I suggested he made a Wattpad account for it. So he did. And we chatted on there more. One day I suggested he added a cover to his fan fiction and he said he wasn't too good at making covers so I offered to draw one for him. I finished it within a week (I think). He loved it and even told me I did so well, he kinda wanted to give me virtual kisses because of it. I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond at first. Then I replied- "That's cute. *virtual kisses* 😘" He did the same. Ever since, we'd been giving each other virtual kisses and I was had been so into him while we were talking as friends so I went along with it. Later on, we got pretty close and I lived it. However, one day I was just looking around at his profile and I saw it. He was 20 effing years old. I didn't know what to do because I was already so into him and thought my age could scare him off. But I ignored it for a while. Months later (and quite recently) he asked me how old I was and my hear freaking SINKED. I freaked out big time and didn't know what to say. I was thinking "Should I tell him my real age?" "What if he never talks to me again?" "What's gonna happen?" Eventually, I freaked out and told him I was 15, thinking it would freak him out a little less (again, I'm 13). His reaction wasn't really good at first but he said he'd wait for me and he thinks I'm turning 18 in 2019 but I'm really turning 18 in 2020. So instead of 3 years, he'd have to wait 5 years for me to turn 18. It's almost been a month since then and I'm in love with this guy. I know how he looks, how he sounds, and everything. He has a YouTube channel as well but anyways yeah. We've been texting on Kik for awhile now. But idk what to do, PLEASE HELP. WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING A LOT AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET EACH OTHER ONE DAY. IM SCARED HOW HE'LL REACT AND THAT HE'LL STOP TALKING TO ME!!! HELP!!!!!
I don't even CARE if he doesn't want a relationship. Just having him still talk to me will be enough.

I think you should be honest with him. No good relationship starts with a lie. By being honest, you give him the chance to make his own choices about how he proceeds with your relationship.

Q: I know that mood swings are just a part of periods and all that and I just kinda wanted to get a second opinion and check that it was normal. My periods are quite irregular and a day or two before I start it, I get really severe bouts of depression which leads to suicidal thoughts and self harm 99% of the time.
Is this a normal thing or should I be concerned?

Mood swings as part of PMS are normal. When it goes beyond being kind of cranky or crying at commercials, you should be checked out by a doctor.

Something to be on the lookout for is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD. It's like PMS, but causes severe depression or anxiety. I've put a link with more information at the end of my answer.

If you don't already, I strongly suggest tracking your cycle in relation to your mood. This information will be very valuable to your doctor when trying to reach a diagnosis, and is probably the first thing they'll ask for. I use the free app Glow, which lets you track physical and emotional symptoms along with your cycle.

https://www.mooddisorders.ca/faq/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd

Q: I am 21/F and I have been sexually active for a little over 2 and a half years. I started out on "the pill" way before but due to my hectic schedule and general forgetfulness I didn't feel that it was a smart choice for contraceptive measures once I became sexually active.

I now have implanon implanted in my arm and have for a little over a year. My only complaint is that it makes my period very irregular, which my gyno told me was normal.

Now that I have a steady boyfriend and we have both been tested for STDs we have sex on a regular basis. I am really not a fan of condoms so we have sex without them. I did a lot of research and consultation with my gynecologist and have been reassured that having your (STD free) partner ejaculate inside of you is safe as long as the implant is not expired. I really, really enjoy having my boyfriend finish inside of me, I find it incredibly pleasurable and it feels very intimate to me, but I am still concerned because of how irregular my periods are. I'm not sure if it is worth the paranoia anymore and I feel very conflicted. My boyfriend has told me if it makes me uncomfortable we can go back to still "pulling out" but I feel silly after I have already been told that it makes no difference to "pull out" - that is what my gyno and Planned Parenthood has said.

Does anyone else struggle with this paranoia? I know some people will say that if sex makes you nervous you shouldn't be having sex, but I don't find that to be reasonable. I love sex, I practice safe sex, and I want to be able to enjoy it the way that I feel fit. If anyone else has routines or tips that help them deal with their irregular periods or any relevant insight I would be very grateful. Thank you!

I had the same problem while on Depo Provera, except it stops your periods altogether. There were many times that I was utterly convinced that I was pregnant somehow.

First things first, I would suggest investing in some inexpensive pregnancy tests. You can get ones that are little cardboard sticks for something like 20 cents each on Amazon - they helped me out a lot because I could pee on sticks with abandon every time I started freaking out, and we wouldn't go broke. It's a win-win! They're every bit as accurate as your average home pregnancy test, just not as easy to use or as pretty.

I get that it's in your head (and mine!) but sometimes all the logic in the world won't stop that panicky voice. If you just can't get comfortable, I would suggest doing what I did until I was married - use a second method of birth control. Think of it like layering swiss cheese - each slice may have holes in it, but each time you stack another one you have a better chance of covering the holes. It's possible but unlikely that every hole will line up.

As far as other methods, you've got a few options to work with. The website below actually does a great job of breaking down what the effectiveness of combined birth control methods are. You're not limited to condoms - withdrawal (not effective on its own but can improve the effectiveness of the implant by a bit), the sponge and spermicide are all ways that you can still maintain the intimacy you have now.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/the_buddy_system_effectiveness_rates_for_backing_up_your_birth_control_with_a_

Q: Hi, I want to write on wattpad. But my writing skills are not the best. Also, I have so many book ideas but when I try to write them my first chapter is always super short. Then after that chapter I don't know where to go with the story and it just stays in my drafts. I have so many ideas but I have no idea what to do with them. Can someone help me!?

Books, like any other piece of writing, are not typically composed start-to-end. I think that's why you're running out of steam.

For example, this is how I go about writing an essay:

- Write a hypothesis
- Come up with a few arguments to support it
- Find examples or quotes to back up each argument
- Flesh the arguments out into full paragraph form
- Write the intro and conclusion, making sure to refer to my arguments.

You'll note that I'm not starting with the introduction and moving my way through - this is because otherwise I'm not quite sure what I'm going to say in between.

Writing a book is the same sort of deal. You want to figure out what the book is generally about, first of all (just one or two sentences). Then you need to determine who your characters are and what their place is in the story. Then you plan out what's going to happen and when. All of this typically happens before you even begin writing it out in full. That way you don't use up all of your ideas in the first chapter and you have a sense of how to pace the story.

There are lots of resources, and even apps to help you with planning. The most important thing is to keep writing!

Q: Hi I'm 15 and I want to wear makeup just so I can have fun with the lip colors but my parents won't let me wear makeup. So I was thinking since all I want to wear is lip colors maybe my parents would let me just wear lip colors. But I've never seen anyone just wear a bold lip without putting on everything else. What do you think? Is that normal? Or would it be a cute new trend?

Bold lip colour would probably be the one thing your parents don't want you doing. They may feel that it's a bit too adult of a look for a person your age (not that I agree, but my parents felt the same way when I was a teenager).

You may have a little more luck with them if you promise to keep your makeup minimal and fairly natural looking - you could always ask your mother to help you out so that you know what you're doing. Makeup is a great way to express your personal style, but it is important to learn good habits early on so you don't mess up your skin (or family photos!)

If you do stick with the lip colour only thing, I can tell you that I've worn a bold lipstick with just a little mascara. In fact, it tends to look best if you stick with a light touch makeup-wise if you're doing a bold lip, or a neutral lip if you're going bold on the eyes. You don't want too much going on at one time.

Q: i'm posting this to Ninjaneer only to remind her that marriage is not for everybody some people are not marriage material also nobody really has to get married marriage is really want not a need dating does fascinate me sometimes but having kids doesn't fascinate me at all and i hope you get this in your column so can educate yourself on the meaning of marriage and know that it's okay to not get married !

I'm not quite sure where this is coming from - is this in response to another question of yours that I have answered in the past? If you link to it I can refer back to my answer. Otherwise I'm flying blind, so bear with me.

I agree completely that marriage is not for everyone. Some people are happiest on their own, in a non-legally binding committed relationship, in an open relationship or any other number of relationship types. I think one of the best things a person can do in life is to look deeply at him or herself, decide what it is they want and be honest about that moving forward in their future relationships.

Also, for the record, as someone who has been married for five years, I am well aware of what the "meaning of marriage" is.

Q: I am a 12 year old female. I'm going to get a hair cut soon. I used to want to grow my hair out although now I kind of want it shorter. I've been looking up pictures online but I can't find anything. Some girls at my school cut it short and it looks nice on them. I cant can't really find the one I want to base it off of though. I also want to dye my hair a darker color. But I still want my hair to look kind of feminine, I dress pretty androgynous already so I don't want to look like I'm a boy completely. I think if I parted it to the side it would be cool. I keep seeing all these mowhawkes that I don't really like. I know it's going to be hard to find a feminine short hair cut because short hair is traditionally a boy feature, but idk I find it stupid the shape of our genetilia should determine the length of dead protein that grows out of our head. Any ideas?

I've had short hair for the last 5 years. It's surprisingly easy to find a feminine short hair cut that works for you.

Step one is to browse online inspiration. Look for people with your face shape and body type with short haircuts. There are several Tumblrs dedicated to short haircuts for women of all types. Bookmark the ones that catch your eye, and keep them on hand for when you go to the hairdresser. You don't necessarily need to like someone's entire cut: you can take bits and pieces or even just the style from one and combine it with another. It's just good to know what you like beforehand.

When you go in, be prepared for some resistance, depending on how long your hair is now. Stick to your guns, and don't let anyone talk you out of what you want. I've had several hairdressers refuse to cut my hair off all in one go because they're worried I'll be upset if I don't like it.

Make sure you know what limitations your hair/lifestyle has. For me, my hair is really thick and grows fast, so I have to make sure that the cut will grow out well and won't go poofy. I also won't take the time to do much of anything to it in the morning, and won't use more than one hair product. Knowing all of this when going in makes it easier for my stylist to design a cut for me. That way, you're not trying to force your hair into a cut that doesn't work out for you.

Cutting my hair short was a bold move, especially because common knowledge says that fat girls shouldn't have short hair. I have never regretted it once. I used to hide behind my hair, but now people see my face. It's light and low-maintenance, and I feel more feminine with my pixie than I ever did with shoulder length hair. If you don't love it, remember that it's just hair and will always grow back in the end.

Q: I like to watch this girl, Aspyn, and her husband, Parker's vlogs on YouTube. In one of her recent videos, she is driving in the car with Parker. She working on her computer in the passenger seat and is talking about how she has wifi on her computer even though there isn't wifi around because she is using it from her phone. I was just wondering how that could be. If it is an app or if she had to buy a software for that to happen. I'm coming up on an international vacation soon and if I can get wifi on my computer when there isn't wifi around, to get me through the traveling, that would be great. Thanks for any help!

You can turn your phone into a wireless access point. Basically, you take your signal from your phone and use it as an internet access point for your computer.

Being able to do this while you're on vacation depends on you being able to access the internet from your phone while abroad, which is either not covered or very, very expensive. Generally, I find that my best bet while travelling is to wait until I can find a place with free WiFi.

Q: I was wondering what you thought do you feel it is really that big of a deal nowadays to have a nude image of yourself online not a sexual one but like just of yourself nude on a beach or similar?

I think it all depends on your situation individually.

Much as it's not a big deal in my personal opinion, people have lost their jobs over unearthed nudes. I would suggest that if a nude is posted, first off that you're over 18, that you make sure there are no identifying details and that it's not connected to any alias that's connected to your real life identity. It all depends on your field of work and your own personal values.

Q: I'm a lesbian atheist. With that in mind, what are: Asian, and African countries that aren't corrupt af and I can actually go on vacation in? I already have some European countries in mind that would be cool and I wanna travel. Thanks.

As an atheist, travel really shouldn't be an issue for you unless you were planning on bringing a soapbox to stand on. When travelling, I try not to bring up my religious status just because it doesn't really help things usually.

As far as Asia goes, any major cities (except Pyongyang, of course) should be fine. Thailand in particular is extremely accepting of people on the LGBT spectrum.

Africa can be dangerous, especially since in many countries homosexuality is illegal. From the looks of it, if you were to stick to Cape Town or Johannesburg you'd be okay. Fun fact: South Africa actually has laws protecting gay rights written into their constitution!

My suggestion would be to look into where LGBT tour companies stop. They're going to know what places are or aren't safe. I would also check out a travel forum specifically for gay travel to get other travellers' points of view.

Q: Hi I've found out that my friend bought a paypal acc on darkweb and it was legit coz i literally saw him purchased it and he received the money after 2 days. However he doesn't want to share how he did to cashout from paypal. I want to purchase some acc too since im a poor freshman and struggling to pay rent and bills. How can i cashout money that wont trace me and will allow me to cashout anonymously? Thank you im just desperate.

Your friend likely purchased an innocent person's account information and cleaned out their bank account. Not only is it going to hurt the target, but this is theft, which is a crime. Depending on the amount he got, it could be a felony. Not something you want to get mixed up in, and certainly not something we can advise you on.

It's normal to struggle to pay the bills when you're a student. There are always alternative ways to make extra money if you're creative enough. Most go for a standard part time job, but I've heard of people starting their own businesses successfully. I personally signed up for medical research studies to pay my bills.

If betweeen student loans, trying to find part time work and asking for help from family you still can't pay the bills, it might be time to think about taking a year off of school to work full time and save up some money. Stealing from someone else is not a way to make ends meet, period.

Q: My boyfriend of 3 years and I are 21 years old, he loves going on vacations/holidays and travelling to new places. I, however, cannot stand going on vacation/holiday. I live in a small town in the country in the UK and all my family live in the area. My family are the most important thing to me and I'm perfectly happy where I live. Travelling and going away really stresses me out, I do not find it relaxing, it's often expensive and I do not have a lot of money, I'm saving up for a place of my own. My boyfriend knows this but he's always really pushy about going on holiday.

I've compromised, a few months ago I went to the other end of the UK for a week's holiday but I was so stressed the whole time, all I wanted to do was to come back home. I get really anxious about having a car accident, cities getting bombed and people getting stabbed for example. What if I went away and something happened to us? Or what if something happened to my family back home and I wasn't there? My boyfriend's demanding that we're going on 3 more holidays in the next few months. He gets angry with me when I say I don't want to go and he just keeps saying that I HAVE to go. I compromised by going on that holiday to the other side of the UK and I don't mind going on day trips (but not to huge cities). I've told him that in a few years, when we're older and have more life experience (we're both still living with our parents) that I would consider going away more. But he keeps going on at me to go on holiday now, further and further away each time. Has anybody got any advice on what to do?

I'm going to disagree with just about everyone here. It's not the end of the world if your priorities regarding travel don't align at this particular moment.

My husband used to hate travelling. He'd had bad experiences travelling with this family, and found it to be a huge source of stress and discomfort. I love to travel and suffer from an excess of wanderlust. We've been together for nearly 10 years, and we've found a way to make it work.

It doesn't sound to me like you're completely against travel or travel-phobic. You just want to stay within your financial means and comfort zone for now, but are willing to compromise and expand your horizons. That's a good sign. You're also on the right track: start small and work your way up.

The best thing that my husband and I were able to do is to get him involved in planning. That way, travel wasn't some foreign thing being forced on him, but something he was comfortable with. I make sure to get him involved now every time I start planning a vacation. We're now at a point where he will help pick activities or places to stay, and is even offering up a few places he'd like to go. It's still not the priority for him that it is for me, but we're managing pretty well.

Compatibility while travelling isn't the relationship dealbreaker everyone seems to think it is. When you work full time, travel takes up maybe 3-4 weeks a year - is it worth it to throw away a great relationship for the sake of those couple weeks? Worst case scenario, you could always travel separately on occasion. My husband loves skiing and I don't, so he went away for a week with his family to a popular skiing location without me, and I'll be heading off on a month long solo hike this summer to check off one of the items on my bucket list. It's not the end of the world, is what I'm saying.

Continue to compromise and expand your horizons one baby step at a time. You can make it work!

Q: ive been trying to change for a while now, but i just cant do it.

my anxiety keeps ruining my life. i keep breaking stuff and i just wanna die!!!!!!

ive tried so many different pills for my anxiety but they dont work!!!!! nothing works!!!!

isnt it best that i just die??????? cause its too painful to handle anymore!!!!

like why do i deserve to just live and suffer like this??? im a good person not a bad person. i give to people whenever i can. why do i deserve this life?!?!?!

Medication alone isn't an ideal treatment for anxiety. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I have found that it is best used in conjunction with therapy.

The meds help with the physical response to anxiety. When your mind and heart are racing, they help bring that down so it doesn't contribute to your anxiety. This puts you at a level where you can start to address the thing that's making you anxious. It won't solve all your problems, contrary to what some doctors may imply.

I would not suggest going off medication completely without your doctor's approval. What I would do is supplement the chemical treatment with alternatives, rather than depending on the alternatives altogether.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy teaches mindfulness - the act of thinking before your actions or reactions. If guided therapy isn't an option, there are plenty of resources out there, from websites to apps, so you can guide yourself.

Otherwise, I suggest that you find an activity that calms you down. Meditation works for some, but I find that I need to actively meditate. Putting all of your mental energy into something like cleaning, colouring or exercising can help to lower your anxiety levels.

Q: i thought about having a date but now i really dont want to becuase i know i will have to have some of the same interest if i get to date is there a way i can get my mind off dating becuase dating leads to the worst things in life marriage and i hope Ninja Neer gets this in her advice column and has some wonderful advice on fixing my problem .

If you aren't in a place where you want to date right now, take advantage of the extra time to do the things you want to do. Take up a new hobby, take some online classes... Whatever floats your boat.

As a married woman, I can't really agree that marriage is one of the worst things in life. I see it as a commitment to be with one of your best friends forever - hardly a negative thing at all! However, there's nothing wrong with taking the time to get to know yourself if you're not ready to share your life.

Q: the question i asked was how to avoid dating and i dont see it in your column anywhere so will you receive it and again im sending this to Ninjaneer

I did receive your question, but had not had a chance to answer it. Please do not send repeat questions or requests for answers to previous questions in the future. Your question, along with the answer, will be posted in my column once I have answered it.

Q: Why does the Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor SSRIs which is an antidepressant could possibly cause suicide? I've been diagnosed with depression and I've been taking seropram(SSRIs) for the past 6 months. I haven't asked my doctor about it yet I've read a black warning that it says the possible suicide attempt. I'm 17 and I don't know why it does cause suicide attempts when it is an antidepressant. I'm afraid I might think of it. I'm confused. Please do help me and let me understand. thank you.

If you were going to have an adverse reaction, you would likely have already had it.

I know when I was on SSRIs I attempted suicide several times. For me, it was because they made me manic (I was misdiagnosed with depression, turns out I have bipolar disorder). People in a manic state are more likely to attempt suicide.

If you are concerned, you should talk to your doctor next time you see them to ease your mind. Every medication comes with its risks - your doctor will have evaluated those risks and decided that you will be fine.

Q: Do you have to be very good at math to take on the course BS in Electrical Engineering??
I just enrolled on a university and I chose the course BSEE. Im kinda nervous about my math skills. Im not that very good about math.

I'm going to warn you that electrical engineering is the most math-intensive of all the engineering types (I'm currently in an electrical engineering program). There's a lot of calculus involved - really, it's mostly math. That said, there are tons of resources in university: your school may have a math help center or peer tutors, or you can work with friends to grasp concepts.

Engineering in general is pretty math-heavy. I would echo Adviceman's advice and suggest that you meet with your course co-ordinator or academic advisor to discuss your options and what supports you would have.

Q: Why isn't there a pro average BMI movement? Nothing good comes from being underweight, overweight, or obese. Personally, I'm overweight, and trying to lose weight to put me less at risk at developing type 2 diabetes, which I am genetically at high risk for. All the fat acceptance stuff and "size 14 is not fat" stuff pisses me off because it's literally life or death for me, and likely many others. I'm a size 8 and even my doctor says I need to lose weight or I'll have to start taking meds. Ive lowered my blood glucose, but being overweight still puts one at risk. I still have issues with junk food, but I'm better now that a lot of junk has calorie labels that discourage me some. Trying to be less of an emotional eater. It's more than whether curves are sexy or not. Someone can be skinny and still curvy, anywyays. Candice Swanepoel and a 90s Tyra Banks, for example, are curvier than my size 8 self. I don't get what positivity comes through fat acceptance, whatsoever. Yeah we're being complacent about our health, high five! It's all down to diet and exercise, we can't wonder why there's an obesity epidemic and simultaneously accept obesity. It's not that obese people should go die or something, everyone can lose weight. I gave up junk food for lent and went to the gym 2-3 times a week and in 1 month I lost 10 pounds. Even models lose weight, the whole "naturally skinny" thing is a myth. It takes dedication, and in time, you'll get used to it. I'm still getting there, and I'm not hopeless, and no one should be, to the point where they consider their health flaw a source of empowerment.

Fat acceptance isn't about being complacent about your health - in fact, it actually promotes the opposite.

In fat acceptance, or health at every size (HAES), people are encouraged to take charge of their health without tying it to a number. There have been a number of times when I've had very unhealthy behaviour (extreme dieting, etc) suggested to me for the sake of losing weight. Once I stopped focusing on losing weight and started focusing on my health and overall well-being, things got a lot better. I don't punish myself for being fat by restricting my food intake to an unhealthy degree and I'm healthier than ever, despite being at my highest weight ever.

It is possible to be healthy and fat. I eat healthy food for the most part, and I'm more physically active than most thin people. My non-weight related numbers are well within the healthy range and I feel good mentally and physically. I accept the fact that I am fat, just like I accept the fact that I have brown hair. As a person who follows the principles of fat acceptance, I give myself permission to exist in the body I exist in, and to enjoy living the way I live.

Your doctor has said that you need to lose weight for medical reasons; heck, if I was told that being fat was contributing to me being ill I would definitely do something about it. Until that point, I don't see why people should treat me as less than a person (ironically enough).

*** POST-FEEDBACK REPLY ***

Some more helpful and probably unwanted advice - you probably shouldn't post questions asking for someone else's perspective, then berate them for having that perspective. You do you, by all means. I'm going to continue to do what's right for me.

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.