about

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda (or Manda - NEVER Mandy), and I'm 22 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In the last 5 years, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to engaged, from tenant to homeowner.

I've also been struggling with a recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life over the last few years and taken just about everything from me. Never one to let things get me down permanently, however, I'm building a new life from scratch. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

Feel free to contact me via my e-mail, MSN or AIM. I'm a computer addict, so I'm often available at odd hours.

advice

Okay so I have beautiful blonde hair with natural highlights (It's dirty blonde if that helps) And I was adding some highlights and LITTLE brown streaks but my Aunty gave my Mom bleach for the highlights and a reddy brown that in blonde hair turns STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE RED. So I was fully ticked cause I looked like Starwberry shortcake gone WRONG on CANADA DAY. IT WAS HORRRIBLE. So we used my moms grey hair stuff (brown coloured) to cover it. It looked prety then because it was darky brown with dark not to noticable red highlights in some parts. But...here's where the problem comes in.....MY ROOTS ARE COMING IN BLONDE!!!!! I need my hair dyed to match my natural colour BUT I dont know how to do that. Gettin my hair dirty blonde natural streaks sounds hard when my hair is dark brown :/ How do I fix this preferably without bleach but if I really HAVE to then fine whatever. How do I fix it before school starts!!!!

Bleaching is really nasty on the hair. I had to deal with this when the wash-out black hair dye I used didn't wash out!

There are two approaches:

1) What I did was to dye my hair every time my roots came in noticeably, in progressively lighter shades until they matched my hair. It worked out nicely, you could hardly see the colour change between the roots and the tips.

2) You can also get highlights that are close to your natural hair colour to help it blend in Get lots of highlights, in the top layer of your hair.

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I have problem going to bathroom, simply I can not make it, for three days, I have pain in the stomach.

You haven't specified which end, so I'll cover both:

Back end? I have three words for you. Milk of Magnesia. That stuff works fast (within an hour) and isn't as harsh as some other products. Make sure that you take in lots of fibre on a regular basis.

Front end? Here's where things get tricky. There could be a real medical issue behind this. You could have bladder crystals (or kidney stones), or if you're a guy you could have a prostate issue. Either way, you should be getting checked out by a doctor. At the very least they can pass a catheter into you and get you some relief.

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ok so. im a frisky girl in her twenties.. my mate sent me this as something to laugh at.
but i though could i actually use this as a "toy"
like would it be safe? or would i jsut get flour everywhere?

youtube (dot) com / watch?v=CM7PklAdHlw&list=QL

I think your biggest concern would be the possibility of the condom breaking. That could send flour up inside of you, which may cause a really nasty yeast infection or worse.

Personally, if you're in your twenties, why not just head to an adult store and pick up a little something? The people are really knowledgeable and can help you find something to fit just about any budget. That way you don't need to worry about the safety of what you're using.

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14/female

Heeeyyahh, okay, as soon as my dad goes owt, i watch porn, and start mastrubating, i cant help myself, i am addicted, i wanna have sex so badly, i always try an imagin my dream man walking in and having sex with me, but it wont happen, wat shall i do!

It's totally normal. You're a hormonal teenager; guys aren't the only ones with crazy sexual urges at your age!

My advice? Keep at it. Masturbate as much as you want. It's the safest sex you'll ever have. No risk of STIs or pregnancy. No emotional ties, just fun and fulfillment.

I can guarantee you that if you were to have sex, you would likely be disappointed. You're guaranteed a finish when you're doing it yourself. When you're with a guy, it's hit and miss.

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how often do you wash your towels? (that you use to dry off after getting out of the shower)

do we have to wash every week? just wondering bc i mean, when you get out of the shower, you are clean..

I wash them every week. It's not because you get dirt from your body on them; the moisture allows for bacteria and mold to grow on them over the course of the week. Washing them helps keep them from going all stanky and stiff.

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I know in this day that lots of people are HIV+ or have AIDS. I know they can lead decently healthy lives. Just, personally, I have never known an HIV positive person or someone suffering from AIDS, and, of course, I do not want something like this. It's just scary.

Yesterday I was at work and this new guy said something about getting AIDS tested the day before. He was talking to another guy from work that he's made friends with.

I am really feeling weird about this. I know HIV/AIDS has to be spread through blood or some sort of bodily fluids like that. I know I'm not going to just catch it from the air or just looking at him. I'm a bit uncomfortable though and I'm nervous. I won't ever know if the test says he's positive or not probably. I mean that's not something you go around screaming at work.

Should I look for another job? I'm serious about this making me uncomfortable. There isn't anything that can make me relaxed around this guy and I don't want my work to suffer because I'm too focused on him possibly having an STD. He does seem like a good guy apart from this possible problem so it's nothing "against" him. I've only been at the job for maybe 6 months so it isn't like I've been working there for years and years.

What would you do?
What should I do?

So you're thinking of quitting your job because someone is getting tested for HIV? I've been tested for HIV, several times in fact. I used to get tested between every partner, before I ended up in a long term relationship.

Going for testing means that he's sexually responsible. It doesn't mean that he's feeling symptoms, or that he has it.

As for if he is HIV+, personally, it wouldn't bother me. I've known a few people who have it, or other STDs. Chances are that you know a few people who have another STD. They're pretty common.


Let's say he does have it. Is it really fair to treat him like a diseased freak? He would already have enough to worry about, and there's a huge stigma attached to being HIV+. The best thing you could do would be to treat him like a regular person.

If it makes you that uncomfortable, though, you can leave, but make sure that you have another job lined up first. However, I wouldn't leave until I knew for sure if I were you. Chances are he just went in for an STD panel to make sure he was all clear before his next partner.

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i want to help unfortunate girls to get horny by email.

That certainly would be unfortunate for them.

This is an advice website, not a personals site. There are a lot of underage kids who frequent this place, and in the event that you do contact them in a sexual manner, we'll have Chris Hansen on speed dial.

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I have been masturbating for the past year or so and but I've never really masturbated with something because I can't buy a dildo without my parents finding out. Well, I was thinking today about tampons and how they go inside you when you're on your period. Can I masturbate with a tampon? Is it dangerous to do something like that? I want to be safe so does anybody know anything about this before I try it out? And I mean using it to masturbate when you're NOT on your period.

& yes I've used tampons before during my period so I know how to put one in and everything.

Don't do it!

Have you ever taken out a tampon that's not fully saturated before? It hurts like crazy. Even if you leave the applicator on, there's a good chance that the tampon itself will stick to your vagina, and that is not fun.

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my friend has 2 kids and im gonna start babysitting. i know her daughter cries alot but i dont know about her son. well anyways how do you help them stop criening

The toddler is easy; you just need to distract them. If that lower lip starts to quiver, just break out something fun, or put on a favourite movie. They forget why they're upset really fast!

Babies are tricky, because they can't tell you what they're thinking. There are a few steps to follow.
- check to see if the diaper is wet/dirty. That's the most common cause.
- do the good ol' cuddle and bounce. Don't bounce too vigorously, and try singing while you do it!
- check to see if they're hungry. Make up a bottle, which often works.
- sometimes they just cry for the heck of it. There will be a complaining note to the crying. If you've tried everything else, just put them down in bed for a bit. They might just be cranky.

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16/f so i get panic attacks once and awhile and thats fine cause i can deal with those, but lately ive been having this weird thing happen, i have no idea what it is...
so it started off just being at night right before i went to bed but now i get it just at random times. its like a huge panic attack but not.
so to describe it as best i can...its like i start feeling like im not real like i dont really have the same skin and stuff and everything gets different textures and sizes and they keep changing and stuff and than ill start hearing nioses sometimes and ill see things like sometimes i hear yelling and its soo loud and i cant stop it and one time i saw all these people and they kept saying my name and one time a couple was arguing and other times its just different colors flashing or different shades of gray....
and when all this happens i try so hard to get out of it but i cant my body wont let me it just controls me and i know when its going to come i can feel it and i always start crying because i hate it so much its really scary..
so yeah i dont know what it is or what to do so please help!

Just to expand on what the other Advicenator has said...

It might not be a panic attack. When I started having panic attacks, I was taken to have a CT scan done to check for epilepsy. Apparently a lot of the symptoms you're describing (i.e. the hallucination) can come from epileptic seizures.

If it's happening at the same time every day, I highly doubt that it's a panic attack. Those come on because of stress, not regularly scheduled.

However, you may also be diagnosed with another mental disorder. I was so worried that I was schizophrenic because I experienced hallucinations like yours (shadows became terrifying shapes, a cookie jar shaped like a skull was making faces at me) that were really terrifying and would send me into a panic attack. They were always at night. Turns out that they're a common symptom of bipolar disorder.

What you should be doing is going to see a psychiatrist, not a general practitioner. Get a referral from your family doctor to see one. Until then, keep track of what happens, when, what you were doing at the time, your mood and energy levels that day and your menstrual cycle. It sounds like a pain in the butt, but it can really help the doctor pinpoint what the matter is.

Don't worry too much... as my psychiatrist once said, "If you think you're crazy, then you aren't. Crazy people don't think they're crazy"

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so basically my laptop is only a year and abit old but it keeps over heating and then shuting down for ages, how can i stop this happening ?

This is a really common problem. You can get canned air from any business supply store. Use it as directed to blow dust out of your laptop's fan assembly.

Also, make sure that you don't use your laptop on soft surfaces like your bed, your lap, etc. Always use a hard surface. If you still have trouble, you can also buy laptop cooling pads to put underneath, or you can even use a cookie rack or something similar to keep it elevated with air circulating underneath.

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ive heard things that if you fight with your friend once in your whole friendship then you arent realy friends is that true cause my bfftltgst(bffltgst)
and like 1 or 2 minutes later we make up were us ment to be friends because i love her like a sister and i would hate if we were not friends i would hate that please tell me the answer

Whoever told you that is full of hot air.

It's like saying that if you fight once in your entire marriage that you should get a divorce. The real test of your friendship is whether or not you can put your anger aside and be friends again afterwards. Everyone disagrees over things, and if you spend enough time with a person you're going to fight with them.

The fact that you can fight, then make up makes your friendship stronger.

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why do bug bites itch sooo bad!!?!?!

When you get bitten, some saliva gets under your skin. That saliva contains histamines, which cause an allergic reaction and make you itch.

Best thing for bug bites is to take a Benadryl. It'll make you sleepy, but the antihistamine will stop the itching.

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do younger people both girls and guysz orgasn faster than older girls and guys?

I'd say that older women probably orgasm faster or more often than younger women, because they've had more chances to figure out what they like. Also, that increases the chances of their having been with their partner for some time, which helps because it means their partner knows exactly what to do.

It's the opposite for men; teenage boys tend to be rather quick on the draw. However, it really does vary depending on the individual. Some men are always quick, some take forever right from their teens.

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I usually don't buy any articles of clothing over $20 (I bought a $25 pair of shorts before though). This is for everyday clothes and not dresses for wedding and stuff.

Well I went to Ricki's today (such an expensive store!) and bought a beautiful pair of black pants (I always wanted a nice pair of black pants because when I go to a formal event and I'm always venting out to my friends on what to wear, they always tell me black pants and a nice top but I only have black jeans that could be considered black pants. And Suzy Shier has lots but I don't like the material of any; too itchy). I hate shopping but today I went insane and if I didn't bring $70, I would have bought all three pairs!

I bought my favourite one of the three, each was the same price, $49.50 but with tax the total was $55.94 (yikes!) but I got it anyway because I thought it was an essential piece.

From what I've mentioned above, this is more than I spent. Do you think I made a good decision? I didn't even think about that until my friend questioned me!

It's always worth it to spend a little more on a quality piece of timeless clothing that you know you'll get use out of. Black pants are one of those things.

You get what you pay for, right? If you spend $20 on a pair of dress pants, you'll get $20 dress pants. I've had a few pairs from Suzy Shier, and hated the nasty polyester stuff. If you shell out a little more for a quality item, you're more likely to wear it and you won't have to replace it within a year of use.

Things that are worth spending a little extra on: a good suit, a couple of perfectly tailored dress shirts, nice leather shoes, a good pair of running shoes, a leather jacket. Things not worth it? T-shirts, jeans, etc.

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i think someone lied to my friend! she told her that if she washes her hair in cold water it will shine better than any product could make it. does anyone know if this is really true?

if you KNOW for a FACT that it works can you tell us why does cold water make your hair shiny?

thanks a lot!

Yes, it does work.

It works because your hair is made up of tiny scales, facing in the same direction. When you wash with warm water, the scales lift somewhat, making the shaft of the hair less smooth, and thus less reflective. When you rinse with cold water, the temperature makes the scales contract and lie flat, which makes your hair more reflective (shiny).

Here's a diagram of the hair shaft which shows what I mean:

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairquestions/hairporosity.jpg

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Hello i have a question. I have started growing as of you know and I am about turn 13 i havent got my period yet alot of my friends say thats unnormal is that true??? And I dont like talking to my mom about it it makes me feel un comfertable so i need help thanks alot

Your friends are totally wrong.

Some girls start as early as 8 or 9. I had friends who didn't start until they were 16. Any time in between is normal.

When should you get concerned? Once you hit age 16, if you still haven't had it, there may be an underlying medical condition.

Just be glad you don't have to deal with it yet. It's a royal pain in the butt!

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So I got a traffic ticket for not stopping at a stop sign. At first it was $125 fine, but because I'm going to traffic school for it, it is now $175 (but it won't raise my insurance, and it will be taken off my driving record).

Well, long story short, I have no money to pay it. I'm not exactly sure when I have to pay it yet, I haven't gotten a letter from the court saying if they approve the traffic school.

But when I do get it, do I pay the ticket first, and then pay for traffic school? Or the other way around? Because my parents are paying for traffic school, and if traffic school is first, it'll buy me more time to figure our how to pay for this ticket.

What do you do when you can't afford to pay a fine? Do you get further fines for it for not paying it? I don't have a job right now, I've been desperately trying to find one for the past month. My parents absolutely refuse to help me out. There is a very slight chance I might find one in about three weeks, its my last hope.

~F/19

I had to go in and fight a red light camera ticket on my fiance's behalf. We're both students, so we chose to go in and plead for a reduction in fine because of financial circumstances.

Very often, if you can't afford to pay for it at the moment, you can apply for an extension. Our fine wasn't reduced (nasty judge) but she gave us an extra 6 months to pay. You may have that option.

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I'm 18 and my bf is 19, we are planning on getting married, is it the right thing to do?

I'm going to have a bit of a different perspective on this, just because of how my life has turned out.

I met my fiance when I was 18, and he proposed within 10 months of us starting to date. Insane, right? At that point, we had been living together for 6 months, and had been through a few serious crises.

I won't tell you not to commit to your boyfriend because you're 'too young'. 'Too young' isn't a reason to not do anything; we got engaged, moved in together, bought a house and adopted a dog, all when we were 'too young' for it. We're thriving because of it.

However, there are serious warning signs in your question. If you're concerned that he might leave you, then those concerns need to be addressed before you get married. You should feel 100% about getting married. Do you want to marry a man who you feel might leave you? Do you want to be put in a position where you depend on him for everything?

That's why 3 years later we're finally planning for our wedding next year. We were ready to make a serious commitment, and we were certain that we wanted to marry each other. Were we certain that it would actually happen? No. There was a lot of stuff that needed to be sorted through before we made that commitment, especially because I don't believe in divorce.

Take some time. There's nothing wrong with a long engagement. It's a nice way to commit without taking that last huge leap. Be sure before you get married, and especially be sure before you have children. And don't let anyone tell you you're 'too young' to know what's best for you, because only you know the true nature of your relationship.

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No one is hiring, I'm negative in the bank, and I'm ashamed of myself that I have been out of college for 3 years and no one wants me to work for them.

I've tried selling a book, nothing. Stores, nothing. temp agencies, ****ing nothing.

I'm starting to get suicidally depressed about this, and am starting to think that if I don't get some money soon, the only way I won't be a strain on my family is to wander off some desolate to starve to death.

male, 27

Keep following that chain downwards. Can't get a job through a temp agency? Apply at McDonald's, at Burger King, etc. Telemarketing agencies have a high turn-over rate as well, so they're usually looking. You're not looking for a career here, you're looking for anything. It won't look negative in the future; if anything, future employers will be impressed by the fact that you were able to go below your education level.

If that doesn't work, try odd jobs. Mow lawns, if you have a car, drive people.

In the meantime, there's no shame in applying for social assistance. I had to do it at one point when money really dried up. I guess what you would receive depends on where you live, but even a couple hundred a month can help.

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