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Q: Once I have anal sex and it didn't slipper to my vagina, am I still a virgin? (Stressed)
It all depends on your personal definition of virginity. To some, virginity is lost when the then is broken; however, this can happen without any sexual contact at all. Many define it as not having had penetrative sex.

I can't tell you if you are still a virgin. Only you will know that.

Q: Can't breath properly
If you can't breathe properly, that's definitely a situation where you need to see a medical professional. I know that sometimes it's difficult to afford medical care, but you don't want to mess with issues like this.

Q: where is Niagara Falls?
If you\'re planning on going to Niagara Falls, you\'ll want to come to Canada instead. The American side isn\'t nearly as built up as the Canadian side, and the Horseshoe Falls that everyone thinks of are actually in Canada!

It\'s located about a 3 hour drive from Toronto. It\'s not a huge city, and it\'s pretty touristy. Just steer clear of Marineland (a popular marine animal attraction that\'s been accused of abuse) and watch for the tourist traps. If you\'re coming in the summer, try to get on the Maid of the Mist boat, because it\'s really cool. The Behind the Falls attraction is really neat as well. Just be warned; in the summer it\'s insanely busy and quite expensive.

Niagara Falls itself is gorgeous, and I feel pretty spoiled to live nearby! Even as someone who goes there multiple times a year, I still think it\'s fantastic.

If you\'re coming to the area, I\'d strongly suggest just doing Niagara for a couple days and then getting away to somewhere less congested. There\'s so much to see nearby, and it\'s a shame that so many people go to a small town and then go home right away. Try to spend some time in Toronto, or even get away to cottage country for a while!

Q: I have to fly out for a funeral and the airlines no longer offer a bereavement rate. :( I don't have much money, but I have to say goodbye. Is there a way to find a cheaper flight with short notice? They want over $1,100 because there is no advance notice, and I am a waitress and a student. Thank you for helping me.
One of my favourite places to look is Hipmunk. You can see a comparison of different airlines, times, layovers, etc.

Have you looked into alternate methods of transportation? I know that when I had to go work a long way from home the train or coach buses could be a good option. It might suck to take a bus or train across the country, but it may be cheaper.

Q: Okay so im 14/f and since i was 11 ive identified as a lesbian (that was when i figured it out) but now im starting to question myself. I know im definitely not straight, 0% chance, and i highly doubt bisexual, i dont know it just doesnt quite feel right, neither does pansexual but it does sound closer to what im looking for. Im romantically and sexually attracted to girls, but sometimes i meet a boy, (and when i say sometimes i mean this has happened twice in the past 3 years) and im just like, "You. You are sweet and really cute and i want to be really close with you and hug you but i cant necessarily see myself with you or anything" but its just confusing me bc it *feels* pretty freaking similar to a crush but im just not attracted to boys?? I dont think I am?? I feel like I might be maybe homosexual and panromantic? does that sound right or am i just confused with all the labels? Thank you in advance to anyone who helps
I\'m going to echo Adviceman here; don\'t bother with the labels. It took me until after I was married at 25 to figure out what exactly you would call my orientation. You\'re way too young to know exactly what you\'re looking for at this point, simply because you haven\'t had the experiences to confirm it. You\'ve got a lot of growth and development to go through before you\'ll really know for sure.

Q: Don't try changing my mind, I want to die and I will.

Everyone hates me, I get bullied at school cos of how I look, what I like, my stupidity... pretty much anything about me. Even my family hate me. There's nothing to live for.

I just wanna know if there are any quick and painless ways to die, just so I don't have to die a horrible slow death cos I'm just a pussy...

If I get any lectures about how "life is precious", or "don't die, you'll be missed", or "suicide is selfish", I wil ignore them and if I don't find any quick and painless ways to kill myself, I guess I'll just have to stop being a pussy and die the hard way. I won't feel the pain when I'm dead anyway I guess...
You\'re not going to get the answer you\'re looking for here. Both for personal ethical reasons and for legal reasons, we can\'t advise you on illegal activities, suicide included.

I\'m not going to give you meaningless platitudes, but I\'m also not going to tell you how to kill yourself. What I am going to say is that you should hold on, because things do get better.

I know that school seems like everything to you right now. Having been through it, I can easily say that things get better every year. The older I get, the less the things that happened in elementary and high school matter. I was bullied terribly, but I can\'t even muster up the tiniest bit of anger or resentment now. It seems hard to believe from where you are now, but the wounds you\'re dealing with now won\'t feel so deep later in life. The scars will fade, and you\'ll emerge from it a stronger person.

You talk about stupidity, but you want to commit the ultimate act of stupidity; cutting a promising life short for the sake of a few idiots. Why let them have the satisfaction? They\'re not worth it.

I know it\'s hard, but keep hanging on. It will get better eventually.

Q:
I am being intimidated and i dont know what to do.

I cant give you the specifics because it seems so unbelievable.

and everyone I know has turned a blind eye to this issue so I don't know how to complain about it.



If you can\'t give us any specifics whatsoever, the best I can do is give you some general advice. In the future, it would be helpful if you could include some information about your age, where the incidents are occurring and some vague outline of what\'s going on. Intimidation can range from a bossy mean girl at school to full-blown stalking. Without more knowledge, we\'re limited in what we can do.

Basically what it comes down to is the severity and location of intimidation. If someone is picking on you at school or work, this is a problem you should be bringing to your higher-ups. If your direct boss/HR department/teacher won\'t take it seriously and you feel that your safety is at risk, then you should consider escalating to a higher level of management.

If you are being intimidated in a criminal manner, such as stalking or threats, you should involve your local police. Measures can be put in place to ensure your protection.

Q: Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for almost three months and, in my mind, things have seemed to be going okay. I'm 16 he's 15 and this is the first relationship for both of us, we're also both quite shy people so the relationship is moving quite slowly. We see each other most days at school and we've met up a few times at weekends and we don't text an awful lot. People say that we can't really class ourselves as being in a relationship and that we're being pathetic. I can kind of see what they're saying seeing as we don't make any physical contact with each other - we've awkwardly hugged once but that's as far as we've got.

I wouldn't mind moving things on a bit faster and being in contact with him more but I'm not really sure how to go about it. I have social anxiety so I am constantly scared of saying something wrong or annoying him by texting him too much.

Also, my best friend told me the other day that she and this other boy basically forced my boyfriend into asking me out. I had no idea about this now I'm worried that maybe he didn't have any intention of asking me out and he only did it to stop people bothering him.

On the other hand, he has bought me really nice presents for Christmas, Valentines Day and my birthday and always responds very quickly and positively whenever I suggest we meet up. He spends time with me at school rather than his friends and always seems to be happy spending time with me.

Basically I'm confused - I want a relationship that people don't class as pathetic but I don't know if that's what he wants.
You know what\'s funny? 10 years ago when I was 16, that\'s actually what relationships were like. Texting wasn\'t widespread... you\'d go on dates on the weekend, and talk sometimes in between. Dating never used to be this all-consuming monster that it\'s become.

You guys aren\'t pathetic. You\'re taking a sensible, level-headed approach to your relationship. The people who have nothing better to do than put doubts in your head are the pathetic ones. You keep going at a rate that makes you happy.

Q: Which thing is best as a birthday gift for my daughter (5 years old)?
I think it really depends on what type of girl your daughter is. I was overjoyed with gifts of Lego and a chemistry set, but other girls like tea parties and dress-up.

Try to get clues from your daughter. What sort of things is she into? What are her interests? Any way that you can indulge her natural passions is fantastic. Get creative, too; sometimes the best gift is an experience. Maybe she\'s super into animals, so you could take her for one-on-one time at the zoo. Things like that.

As for toy suggestions, something I\'ve found interesting is Goldieblox (http://www.goldieblox.com/). It\'s designed by an engineer with the goal of teaching girls engineering foundations. It\'s the sort of thing I would have loved as a kid.

Q: So my boyfriend & I recently discovered we both had chlyamdia. I got it cured. But my boyfriend on the other hand, hasn't yet. He went but they sent him somewhere else, anyways we were messing around we been using condoms since we found out but I was messing around & I was teasing him & didn't think anything of it but I just licked the top of his dick (the head) & just remembered you can get chlymadia through oral. I didn't think about it, but it was literally just a lick. Not a suck or anything. One lick! Lol he didn't cum or anything. Is there a chance I have a chlymadia? Please answer asap!
It's a tough question to answer. Chlamydia can be transmitted orally, but there was limited contact.

Your best bet is to hit the doctor again. Your boyfriend should also be treated, because there's always a risk of re-catching it.

Q: I know this may sound like a dumb question but I have dark reddish brown hair and really fair skin (like the skin of most redheads) it has pink undertones and it's freckled. Most brunettes I know even if lighter skinned aren't as light skinned as myself...?
It's just a matter of genetics. You've got an uncommon blend, and you should be proud! It's nice to look a little outside the norm; it's these quirks that make a person gorgeous.

Q: Hello advicenators,

I am going to be buying a "new used" car pretty soon. I got a new job recently and I will be able to afford the payments. Im looking to spend somewhere in the $18-25,000 range. I don't want to buy something I'll regret with that amount of money. I have never bought from a dealership before.

What are some tips? What are some things I should look out for (Any salesmen tricks I should be wary of, or extra things that I shouldn't be paying for?) I'm a girl in my 20s that knows pretty much nothing about cars (other than how to fill up oil and change a tire-the basics) and I totally expect to be taken advantage of when it comes to cars. I'm not stupid but there's a lot of car stuff I don't know.

So anything helps, really. I'm going to do some test drives this weekend. I've researched and decided on a couple of different makes and models based on extensive internet searches and reviews. I would like to be prepared before I go.

Thank you!
Knowing what total amount you want to pay is the first step. This was the number one trick I saw used against us when we bought our first car; we would state what our total amount was, and the salesman would try to convince us to buy a more expensive car over a ridiculously long loan period. Sure, the payment would be the same, but we were presented with loans of up to 96 months! We kept it so that we could pay it off comfortably within 5 years.

You've done your research, so that's good. Know what you want and don't let them try to upsell you to something shinier and prettier.

Other that, you sound super prepared. Not all salespeople are jerks, but if you do encounter one who makes you uncomfortable you should definitely not buy from them. That person stands to make a lot of money from the sale, so make sure it's going to someone who deserves it.

Q: How did Burt Reynolds die?
According to his Wikipedia page, he hasn't yet!

He's 78 years old and still working.

Q: What's the least painful way to commit suicide?
If I'm gonna do it is not a question. I don't want to waste my time reading more speaches about not doing it.
I just need someone to tell me. Now.
You're not going to get the answer you're looking for here, for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, we can't advise people on suicide methods for legal reasons. Just like I can't give someone advice on how to murder someone, I can't give someone advice on how to kill themselves.

Secondly, the people on Advicenators are here because we see hope for the future. We know that things get bad sometimes. Many of us have been to rock bottom and back with the scars to prove it. That means that we know it's possible to get past just about anything, and that we won't recommend anything other than continued efforts towards a better future.

I don't know anything about your current situation, but I've been through some bad stuff myself. I came here looking for an easy way out over 8 years ago. The advice I received, while it wasn't what I was looking for, was what showed me that there are people out there who cared if I lived or died. That's what I want you to take away from my answer right now; people care enough to try to intervene.

If you're dealing with a bad situation, I strongly suggest that you post a question (or two or three) on how to deal with it. We can do a lot more for you that way.

Q: I'm 19 years old and engaged to the love of my life. Our relationship is outstanding. The only problem I see is my mental illnesses. I have severe panic attacks; severe uncontrollable anxiety; and severe bipolar disorder. I have agoraphobia (fear of people) and I also have learning disabilities due to some brain damage from a past car accident. I'm on a lot of medications which I'm still trying to figure out, because some of them don't work and my bipolar isn't yet under control. Because of all of this I haven't been able to get a job. It makes me feel like a total failure, because my fiancé works so hard and stresses over money, and I feel it's all my fault. He never puts any blame on me or pressures me and is completely understanding, but that doesn't change the fact that I need to get a job to put in my fair share of work. I'm also struggling to get my GED, which is difficult because its so hard for me to learn new things. Does anyone else struggle with these things? What helps you? And how did you overcome some of these things to be able to function enough to get a job and achieve other things? Please help me! I'm very desperate for advice on how to get through this.
Are you sure you aren't me from 7 years ago? Because you're basically in the exact same position I was in, except that I was trying and failing repeatedly to get through college/university.

So yes. I am very familiar with your situation. It's not fun and it's not easy, but you can get through it.

While you're getting your meds sorted, it's best to keep your other obligations to a minimum. Focus on being able to live daily life first. Taking care of yourself should be your first priority right now. Start small. Did you get out of bed today? Awesome. If you showered, brushed your teeth and made a healthy breakfast, that's another win. Try pushing your limits a little every day and doing something you didn't feel like you could before. Go for a 5 minute walk. Go into a corner store. Talk to the cashier. Go to lunch with a friend. Little things will add up and you'll start to feel more capable. As that happens, you'll start wanting to do more. That's when you can start tackling school, then work. Just remember, one thing at a time. For me, I learned how to take care of myself, got my meds under control, started part time work one day a week, took on more hours, then went back to school full time. It's been a pretty smooth progression.

When you do schooling, try asking if there's any disability support. Depending on where you're doing your learning, they may have supports in place. My college has a great accessibility services department. They advocate for me when I have to be absent for medical reasons so that the impact on my schooling is minimal. They can also help with learning disabilities.

I know what it's like to feel guilty about the impact that your illness is having on your significant other. I was also engaged at 19 to a fantastic man who I have since married. He was instrumental in getting me to the place I'm in now. In your relationship there will be ups and downs for both of you. You need his support right now, but some day he may need yours. It sounds like he's a great guy and that he understands that for you, taking care of yourself is a full time job right now. You're not putting in any less work than he is, you just don't get paid for it.

I also know that it can be difficult to maintain a relationship. When I got really sick, all of my husband's family and even our mutual friends were telling him to leave me. It takes a lot of strength to stay with someone with our particular challenges, but if you can make it through this you can do anything. I can tell you from experience that it leads to an extremely strong relationship with a solid foundation.

Another neat thing is that many famous people deal with bipolar disorder. While it can make your life a living hell, people with it are often very creative. There's a great book called "Touched With Fire" about that connection.

Living with bipolar disorder sucks, there's no getting around it. Things can go wrong, and sometimes you'll have to rebuild what you just finished working on. Progress may feel slow, but it's two steps forward, one step back. You're still moving forward. You can do it!

Q: 13/m
Ok I have to do a project in school on "Moose Disease". The problem is im not sure if it is the actual disease on moose or if there is another disease that is on humans. The reason i wonder this is the projects are in disorders or diseases mostly on humans so i dont know if there is some other disease. So i was wondering if anyone knows of moose disease on humans or anything else of moose disease or if it is just a disease that affects moose. Thanks for your help and have a nice day:).

We can't do your homework for you. It's unethical, and not really what this site is about.

If you're not clear on your assignment, ask your teacher.

Otherwise, a quick Google search will tell you just about everything you could possibly need to know on your topic.

Q: Hello! My name is Caitlyn. At school, I have a crush named Nolan I really love and care about. We have a lot in common, but I'm actually a vegetarian, so it scares me to see him eat meat in front of me at lunch. How do I help myself from being so afraid?
In life, you're going to meet people from all walks of life. You will meet, and get to know people who share your beliefs as well as people who don't.

Pretend for a minute that instead of being a vegetarian, you're a Catholic. Could you make friends with a Muslim or an atheist? Sure, their views on life would differ from yours, but that can make relationships all the more interesting.

So the same goes for your vegetarianism. You can't surround yourself exclusively with other vegetarians, so you'll have to come to terms with omnivores sooner or later. Different strokes for different folks. It doesn't mean he's a bloodthirsty killer, or that he's a bad person. Just different.

Q: can you get a STD from male masterbation
You absolutely can not. Masturbation is a safe, healthy way for people of all sexes to take care of sexual urges and get to know their own body.

Q: Recently, I started date one of my oldest friends. We started catching up last September, and we realised that we like each other. We decided to give dating a shot, and it worked out really well. He is everything I want in man; he is passionate, kind, considering, and has the biggest heart. Yes, we had our arguments; sometimes it was my fault and sometimes it was his fault. However, the biggest problem is me, you see I lied to him, more than once; and he forgave me more than once. Every lie I told him was ridiculous, and I don't know why I did so. By me promising that I will never lie will not solve anything and he will not believe me. I know I screwed up big time, and I know he is willing to give me another chance, but I truly do not know why I lied to him. I do not know how to fix my mistake. I told him that the only thing that can solve this issue, is for me to work on myself more, and for me to show him in time that he can trust me again. But I don't know what else to do other than that, because promises won't mean anything, saying sorry won't solve anything, and even if I am working on myself (i.e. my issues), does not mean that we can move forward in out relationship.
Yes, I lied, and I am sorry, but I don't have a justification to my lies, and honestly, if I was him, I wouldn't believe any of the "reasons" that I would give him.
What am I supposed to do now? How are we supposed to move past this?
The only thing that can fix this situation is continuous honesty, patience and time.

If you're really serious, you've got to keep on yourself. Stay honest about everything. Quit lying cold turkey. There may be some slip ups, but come clean about it and the repercussions will be lighter.

You're also going to have to be patient with him until he regains trust in you. There may be times when he questions your honesty even though you're telling the truth. It would be easy to blow up at him, or to lie since you're being held guilty of it anyhow. If you can keep reminding yourself that he's only thinking that way because of the past, he'll see the pattern of truthfulness emerging and he'll trust you more and more.

Other than that, time is the only thing that will get you past this. My husband and I have done some truly awful things to one another, but time helps to heal old wounds. If you really care for one another and respect one another, you can make it through anything.

Q: I take it you must be from the 50's when the men ruled the roost. You need to get into the new millennium. That was pretty nasty what you responded to the fish and chip story. I only which I could truly say what I thought right now. Is this how you are in your relationship, overbearing and rude?
I'm not sure what question you're responding to, as a quick search turned up nothing recent. Even so, I feel a response is in order.

If you see an answer that's truly offensive or harmful, you can report it. There's a link in the left sidebar for reporting abuse. Who knows? It may already have been reported as abusive and deleted, and that's why I couldn't find it.

bio
NinjaNeer
My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

Info
Gender:
Female

Location:
Ontario, Canada

Occupation:
Student

Age:
26

Member Since:
February 14, 2006

Answers:
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Last Update:
June 24, 2014

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