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Using birth control but still conflicted
I am 21/F and I have been sexually active for a little over 2 and a half years. I started out on "the pill" way before but due to my hectic schedule and general forgetfulness I didn't feel that it was a smart choice for contraceptive measures once I became sexually active.
I now have implanon implanted in my arm and have for a little over a year. My only complaint is that it makes my period very irregular, which my gyno told me was normal.
Now that I have a steady boyfriend and we have both been tested for STDs we have sex on a regular basis. I am really not a fan of condoms so we have sex without them. I did a lot of research and consultation with my gynecologist and have been reassured that having your (STD free) partner ejaculate inside of you is safe as long as the implant is not expired. I really, really enjoy having my boyfriend finish inside of me, I find it incredibly pleasurable and it feels very intimate to me, but I am still concerned because of how irregular my periods are. I'm not sure if it is worth the paranoia anymore and I feel very conflicted. My boyfriend has told me if it makes me uncomfortable we can go back to still "pulling out" but I feel silly after I have already been told that it makes no difference to "pull out" - that is what my gyno and Planned Parenthood has said.
Does anyone else struggle with this paranoia? I know some people will say that if sex makes you nervous you shouldn't be having sex, but I don't find that to be reasonable. I love sex, I practice safe sex, and I want to be able to enjoy it the way that I feel fit. If anyone else has routines or tips that help them deal with their irregular periods or any relevant insight I would be very grateful. Thank you!
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I had the same problem while on Depo Provera, except it stops your periods altogether. There were many times that I was utterly convinced that I was pregnant somehow.
First things first, I would suggest investing in some inexpensive pregnancy tests. You can get ones that are little cardboard sticks for something like 20 cents each on Amazon - they helped me out a lot because I could pee on sticks with abandon every time I started freaking out, and we wouldn't go broke. It's a win-win! They're every bit as accurate as your average home pregnancy test, just not as easy to use or as pretty.
I get that it's in your head (and mine!) but sometimes all the logic in the world won't stop that panicky voice. If you just can't get comfortable, I would suggest doing what I did until I was married - use a second method of birth control. Think of it like layering swiss cheese - each slice may have holes in it, but each time you stack another one you have a better chance of covering the holes. It's possible but unlikely that every hole will line up.
As far as other methods, you've got a few options to work with. The website below actually does a great job of breaking down what the effectiveness of combined birth control methods are. You're not limited to condoms - withdrawal (not effective on its own but can improve the effectiveness of the implant by a bit), the sponge and spermicide are all ways that you can still maintain the intimacy you have now.
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Not being a women I cannot fully appreciate your problem. What I can appreciate is the anxiety issue as I too have suffered from anxiety and it is very scary and hard to overcome. Constant reassurance that whatever is being obsessed over causing the anxiety is okay or going to be okay is a help. What really is needed as I think you know is finding that individual trigger.
I know you know that missing a period when it is suppose to happen doesn't mean your pregnant, but and old trigger some place is clicking and bang anxiety hits. One thing you can do to reassure yourself is lay in a supply of home test kits and test when your period is late. That may help alleviate the anxiety but maybe not. You could ask you doctor for some medication but that only masks the symptoms and makes you feel kind of funny to boot.
The only true way to stop this is to stop it before it starts and that means finding that old trigger and silencing it. The only way I know to do that effectively is with talk therapy with a clinical psychologist. A good psychologist will help you dig whatever this thing is out. It may be so deep seated you don't even realize it but once it is brought to the front of the mind you can deal with effectively and the anxiety goes away.
Therefore my advice is find a clinical psychologist you are comfortable with and find that trigger. It will be well worth the effort this I can assure you of.
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If reliable information is not reassuring, then the issue must be psychological.
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