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I've been on Advicenators for 10(!!!) years which I think makes me some kind of Advice-giving veteran. I'm currently 22 and and I have a Politics degree which makes me sound much more intelligent than I am. I have less time on my hands than I did 10 years ago but I'm going to try and be around more, if only to continue imparting my infinite wisdom unto the world.

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Gender: Female
Location: England
Age: 22
Member Since: June 1, 2004
Answers: 1788
Last Update: March 24, 2014
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So I'm 15 and I want to be pregnant... I don't know what to do...btw I'm single. For the past couple months I've wanted to have a baby... I need some advice! Please help!!!

Part of the fun of being a woman is that you can get pretty broody at times. That's because your body WANTS you to reproduce. You're 15, so you're at a stage where your hormones are flying around and kicking you right in the ovaries and that is normal. In times of old girls your age did have babies, they also didn't tend to live past 40.

These days, there isn't a rush to have a baby. The likelihood is that you're going to live until AT LEAST 80. That's another 65 years. Do you really want to look back in 65 years time and realise you only had 15 years to yourself?

Yes, people have kids young and often do a great job. I'm not about to judge anyone's decisions. But 15 is young. You can't even drive, or vote, pay taxes, get anything more than a part time job...Do you see where I'm going with this one?

It's okay to want a baby. Hell, I'm 22 and I am SO broody. Even if my boyfriend was on board with the idea, which he definitely is not, then our combined salaries barely stretch to feed, clothe and house the two of us, let alone a demanding infant.

Wait it out. Get a pet if necessary. One day you'll probably make an excellent parent, but not right now.


k so i have a feeling my bestfriend watches porn. she searched it on the school computers with her friend but the computer didnt let her becuase it was pornography. but i think if the website wasnt blocked she would watch it. and we found out that one of our other friends watch it and she said everyone watches it its ok and i said do you watch it and she laughs and said no. but i honestly think she does watch it. sometimes i watch it with my other bestfriend . and 2 years ago thre was a rumor that i watched it and my new bestfriend found out and i said i dont watch it. so i wanna ask if she does watch it, i really wanna find out, what should i do ?? please help!

I'm confused as to why you 'need' to know this.

My only concern here is that you and your friend are under 18, which means it is illegal for you to be looking at porn in the first place.

Other than that, it is none of your business.


how to judge a girl if she is virgin

You ask her.



I see you study Politics at university?

How are you finding it? And where about in the country do you go? Are you enjoying it? How are the prospects afterwards?

I may apply for politics next year, so trying to decide between Politics and History?


I've just finished my second year and so far it's been okay. To be perfectly honest, half of it has been quite boring but that should change next year because I've chosen all my modules (at my uni you can't choose any for first year, and only two for second) so I'll be able to specialise more. It completely depends on the course though, so it's really worth looking in detail at the modules you'll be taking so you can decide whether or not they interest you.

One thing I would say is that being passionate about it helps, a lot. There is absolutely no point trying to do a 3 year degree in a subject like this unless you care about it and you already take an interest in politics and current affairs.

We share some modules with people doing the Politics and History course and from what I can gather, the majority of them seem to find the politics side of the course far more interesting. In my personal opinion, Politics and History isn't really worth it. Having said that, if you do a joint honours you can always specialise in third year if you find you're more interested in one side of it.

As for prospects, it's hard to tell with the economy the way it is at the moment. Politics is a fairly broad subject and it's a degree which equips you with some good transferable skills. Most of the people on my course are looking to go into careers in journalism, the civil service and local councils, and many of us are considering going on to do MAs or PHDs. Teaching is also an option if you do a postgrad.

Like any degree, you're going to have to supplement it with extra curricular activities and voluntary work. I would strongly advise you to find out about the students' union at any university you apply to. Some are better than others and it's worth considering that when applying. A good union will have lots of societies, activities and opportunities to get involved.

I'd rather not disclose which university I go to on here, but if you're interested then feel free to ask me on my forum (the link is on my column).


So there's this guy and I have had a crush on him all of my life and now he has a girlfriend. Is it a bad idea to tell a guy how you feel even if he has a girlfriend that he really likes?

Thank you to everyone in advance!!!

He has a girlfriend. He isn't available to you.

If you've had a crush on him all of your life and wanted to take things further then you should have explored that while he was still single.

Leave him alone and move on.


I don't honestly know what to do. This guy made me feel really special, and it wasn't just in a friend way, he would use the words beautiful, babe and much more. I really fell for him & when I told him... He stopped texting me, he would ignore my messages because obviously he would of read them. He still acknowledges me whenever I see him, like with a smile. But avoids the question whenever I tell him how I feel (I've told him more than once) but it seems like I'm not getting anywhere. The only thing I could think of was telling him in person, so from across the room I mimed “what's wrong? Don't ignore my messages. You need to tell me where I stand” he was saying he couldn't hear me, and kept repeating what? I kept frowning and then laughing, then he started laughing. (I'm a teen at school also) when I got out of the room, he was stood with his friends so I didn't say a thing. I don't really know what to do? I never have a chance to speak up front. Now that I'm no longer at that school, I will hardly see him. Can someone please tell me what could be the possibly reasons for why he's done this? What I need to do, to possibly solve it? Please, that would be a massive help.

He sounds like a typical teenage player.

If he was interested then he would acknowledge you when you tell him how you feel and he would make an effort to talk to you.

Who knows why he lost interest. Perhaps he met someone else, perhaps he decided he didn't like you in that way, or perhaps he was just messing with you. You'll probably never know. Don't beat yourself up about it. You'll soon discover that there are many, many guys like this (and girls too I might add), who will play people and lead them on.

Move on and focus on meeting people at your new school.


we have become close friends and even few times came very close to kissing, but nothing ever happened.

what am i to do?

Three years is not a big deal and wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the obvious issue here. You are an adult. He is not. Any sexual relationship you might have would be illegal and depending on where you live could remain illegal for a couple of years. Be careful.


I'm a 23 yrs old girl, I met someone online, and he was just the way I like.. I liked him & and he was so emotional, romantic, and caring. after a while, I fall in love with him, then I discovered that his real age about (37) and that he's already married and thereis noway for our relation to work. however, I continued with him and we had a cyber relation and met him only once in real.. now, we still talkin' to eachothers on the internet, and I we still like eachothers......... what is the expected future of this relation?

This relationship has never been real and he is a liar and a cheat.

If he is prepared to cheat on his wife, then he will cheat on you. He has already lied to you about his age and being married. He does not respect you (nor does he respect his wife, apparently) and you would be better off without him.

I know it's painful and difficult but you need to move on.


Ok so I've decided that me an my bf are going to have sex. And I'm unsure of how guys like it "downstairs".? Do they like it bare, trimmed, or hairy.? I wanna be confident and I'm not very. Because I have large labia minora also. I hate it because it just looks funny and I feel like he'll think different of me.? But are there certain designs for shaving.? Or how do I shave.? How far back do I go also.?
I looked up some designs, and I kinda liked 2, the heart shape and the initials... I might surprise him with the initials, but idk if he wants it hairy, or bare.?!

NinjaNeer gave a great answer and not much else needs to be said on the matter. One thing I will add though is this: if you don't feel comfortable enough to ask your boyfriend what his preferences are in terms of pubic hair, then you really aren't ready to have sex with him.


Ok so I broke up with this guy, lets call him brendan. So I broke up with brendan a couple months ago because I got pressured by this other guy... =/ Brendan is so sweet and funny and nice and cute and totally the perfect package. (Note: I wont use the guy's real names) Anyways, this guy uhm call him Ryan pressured me to break up with brendan and then he asked me out and I said yes =( I broke up with Ryan after realizing what a jerk he is (only lasted a week) Its been 3 months since I broke up with Ryan. Yesterday, we went to Canadas Wonderland for a band trip. Brendan is in band but Ryan isnt. I've always liked brendan and we've come to be good friends. I flirt with him occasionally, he flirts back =) After playing 3 songs at this band thing we got to go on all the rides at 1pm and had to meet back at 6pm. Me and my friend decided to ask Brendan and one of his friends that she likes to be in our group. They said sure and so we ate lunch then went back to the bus to get our band instruments. After we played our instruments, we went to the bus to drop off our instruments and then get clothes to change in to. We went to the bath rooms to get changed and we told Brendan and his friend to meet us outside after. They both ditched... =( I was SO pissed off!!! After at 6, I saw him and went over to him and said "Your such a ditcher!" On the bus he walked by and smiled and I said, "I've never seen more of an asshole to ditch someone" His friend didnt feel well so me and Sydney had to switch spots and surprise surprise, it was behind brendan... He turned around and said "Im sorry for ditching, why was it so important to you that I was there anyways?" and I said "if you knew then you would understand" Brendan:"You like me dont you" Me:"how did you know" Brendan:"its obvious" Then I wore his hat for the rest of the 3 hour drive back home. He asked Sydney for a pen then started writing hand notes to me saying, "I dont know if I can do this again, if you liked me then you shouldnt have broken up with me in the first place" ANd I said, "I know, Im so freaking stupid. I understand..." and then we got home and he leans over to me and whispers into my ear "What I miss the most is your hugs" and I almost started crying. TOday, his friend comes over to me and he says " DO you like brendan?" me:" what makes you think that?" him:"he told me everything, he likes you too" and yeahh. ADVICE? All of this is overwelming. My other friend Emily told Brendan the real reason I broke up with him. So um opinions? I dont know what to do! HELP!!

If Brendan was so 'perfect' then you shouldn't have broken up with him. Either that or you aren't mature enough for a relationship or you wouldn't have allowed yourself to be 'pressured' by this other guy.

If you feel that you would like to give things with Brendan another go, then consider asking him to hang out as friends and see where things go from there. I find it unsurprising that he is hesitant to get back in a relationship with him considering you dumped him for someone else. If he decides that he'd rather not go there again then move on and learn your lesson. Next time perhaps you won't be so fickle.


Hey, okay so im getting a new laptop and plan on re downloadong itunes. What im wondering is when I connect my ipod to it will i lose all my current songs?

When you connect your iPod to a new computer, usually it will try to sync with the new library.

There is software you can download and use for free (on a trial basis), which allows you to transfer the music on your iPod to your computer. Once you've done that you can just put them all in iTunes and re-download them onto your iPod.

The link below is for a program called Music Rescue. You can download a free trial version which will work fine for what you need it for, although there will be lots of ads. I have used numerous times in the past and it's always worked great for me.


if my boyfriend is black with a big penis and im white and a virgin, will sex hurt extremely bad the first time or first few times?

I'll start by pointing out that your ethnicity is irrelevant here. The stereotype that black men have large penises doesn't always hold true (trust me) and regardless of size, sex is almost always painful for the first few times.

To help things, make sure you are completely relaxed and comfortable with the situation - tensed up muscles will only make things worse - and consider using a water-based lubricant such as KY Jelly.

I'll take this opportunity to remind you to practice safe sex. It would be sensible to begin some form of birth control before you start having sex and remember you should ALWAYS use a condom unless you are 100% sure that neither of you have any STIs. You can read about the various methods of contraception available here:


Is it a bad sign when your boyfriend splits his leisure time between you & his male friends

If my boyfriend DIDN'T do this I'd be worried.

Balance is important in any relationship and it wouldn't be healthy for either of you to spend ALL your free time together. Everyone needs space and time apart.


When I use the bathroom there is blood in my stool

Go to your doctor.

There are many possible reasons for having blood in your stools, some much more serious than others. No one on here will be able to give you a definitive answer.

Please make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.


What is your opinion on age gaps? I'm talking 16 and 21.. is it wrong? is it okay if you've known them for a long. Is it okay to be friends with people that much older than you. I'm 16 f and hes 21 m. im worried even being friends makes him look like a bad guy.

This is difficult.

As Roseyapple said, here in the UK this would be legal and does happen, although it isn't the norm. It is generally considered to be somewhat odd for an adult to want to be in a relationship with a child. You may well be mature for your age, but at 16 you are unlikely to have the same motives and priorities as someone of 21. It wouldn't surprise me if your friends and family viewed the relationship with suspicion.

Assuming you live in the US, unfortunately your relationship is probably illegal as you are under the age of consent in most states.


14 (almost 15) female

My boyfriend and I have been dating officially for over a month now, but we've liked each other for a few years and we have been good friends for a long time. You probably think fourteen is too young to have a serious relationship, but I politely disagree.

My problem is that ever since the day we announced we were going out, it seems like everyone I meet has to put their two cents in. At school dances, people we hardly know watch us slow dance and take pictures while exclaiming how cute we are. Every time I speak to one of my relatives on the phone, they make rude jokes or snide comments. Most of my so-called "friends" make crude jokes and try to set the rules of our relationship.

These may not seem like major issues, but they do add up. I try to smile and laugh with these rude people, or sometimes I just ignore them. Lately, however, it's becoming more and more difficult. Please give me some advice on how to deal with these people, so my boyfriend and I can relax and just enjoy our relationships.

This is pretty standard.

My boyfriend and I are both in our 20's, we haven't been together very long and this happens to us frequently, especially when we introduce each other to friends for the first time.

Everyone enjoys a love story, and people often forget their place when it comes to passing comment or judging other people's relationships.

On top of that (and without patronising you), at your age relationships are still relatively new. It's likely that many of your friends have never had girlfriends or boyfriends before and it's probably fascinating for them. I also wouldn't be surprised if some of your friends were jealous of the fact that you have a boyfriend.

I know it's hard, but please try and ignore the comments, or politely ask these people to mind their own business. With close friends, I would suggest you tell them how you feel and ask them not to do it, but with others, you might prefer to offer a light hearted but firm comment (e.g. "It's funny, I didn't realise I was going out with you too!")

Eventually, the attention and fascination with you and your boyfriend will probably die down. A new couple will come along and be the hottest on the block. But until then, grit your teeth and congratulate yourself on having such a popular relationship!


So recently I had my first panic attack during a blood test-anyone who's had one will know how scary they are.
I was wondering, because I have to have other blood tests soon if anyone has any good tips on overcoming panic attacks.
Any advice welcome-prefferably someone who has had a diagnosed panic attack before :)

I suffer from panic attacks and there are a few things I do which usually help me.

If you can feel a panic attack coming on, or start to notice particular signs or situations which lead to one, then that will really help you. For example, I find that I start to have trouble breathing. If you are aware of what is happening, you can do things to prevent or reduce it. I find the best way to do this is to distract myself. So if I think I'm going to have a panic attack, I'll start counting all the red things I can see, then all the blue things, and so on until I feel calmer. It sounds silly, but it's usually enough to distract me and keep me calm.

Recognising what is happening is also important because it puts you in control of the situation and may help you ride it out easier. So if you know what is going on, you can mentally be telling yourself that you WILL be okay, you CAN breathe, you're NOT having a heart attack etc.

If you are really struggling with your panic attacks, and feel like they're getting worse or that you can't control them, then it's really important that you go and see your doctor and seek some professional medical help.


a girl's, if that makes a difference? and no i'm not ugly (not cocky, just being honest), nor do I consider myself to be "really weird" or whatever. this is just the type of music I enjoy the most. I can't explain how much I love it. just curious about what others think. a lot of my music taste in a nutshell are bands like Deerhunter, Radiohead, and MGMT

What does it say about someone? It says that the person is the kind of person who enjoys listening to ambient, psychedelic and punk music. That's about it.

If it sounds good to you, listen to it. People who pigeon hole themselves (and others) based on their musical preferences irritate me.


Is it slutty to send pictures of you in your underwear and bra to guys? I'm not fully naked so it has to be classy, right? What do guys think of girls who send them pictures? And is it cheating if the guy is in a relationship but I'm sending him pictures still?

First of all, I don't like the word 'slutty'. It's degrading and pointless. What is and isn't 'slutty' is entirely subjective. I tend to follow the rule: if it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

We have a few issues here.

1. If you are under the age of 18, you risk straying into some hazy territory relating to child pornography. If you do remove that underwear and take a picture of yourself, you are producing an illegal pornographic image. Send it to a guy and you are distributing it.

2. What do I personally think of girls who send guys pictures? Like I said, I don't like to judge but would I do it? Probably not. You need to question why you do it.

Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that it's because it makes you feel good, you like that guys are finding you attractive, maybe even getting turned on by your pictures, and that raises your self esteem.

If that IS the case, then let me tell you this right now. Your self worth should not be measured on how attractive guys find your body. What are you getting from this deal in the long term? Sure, guys might be getting off from your pictures, does that really benefit you? You may feel good for a while, but the fact that you're even asking this question tells me that you aren't 100% comfortable with it.

3. Once you send those pictures, you lose control of them. They could go anywhere. They could potentially be around for years. Those guys might swear down that they won't send them on, but are you really willing to take that risk? Those pictures could get you into serious trouble and embarrassment further down the line.

4. Is it cheating? Well, I sure as hell wouldn't be happy if any boyfriend or girlfriend of mine received a picture of someone else in their underwear.


I've been a Wiccan for a little over a year and been with my boyfriend a little under a year. I really want to tell him about my religion but I'm scared that he'll dump me because I'm not Christian, or try to change my mind. I love my boyfriend to death and I want him to accept me for who I am. I'm just scared to tell him. What should I do? He's a Methodist by the way. Should I be wary when I tell him? Please help.

Depending on how serious he is about his religion, he might well decide he'd rather not be with you. But the thing is, if you don't tell him, you're hiding a pretty big part of yourself from him and it'll end up messing the relationship up anyway.

You have to tell him. It might not work out. It might result in some pretty intense conversations and some hard decisions. Ultimately, if religion is a deal-breaker for your boyfriend, and you don't want to convert, then you may have to accept that the relationship won't work.


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