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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.
I have been featured 4 times. :)
advice
Ok, so I started my period last month and couldn't get a tampon in. Finally when this months period came around, I got it in (by laying flat out on the floor), anyways, when it came time to get it out, (playtex gentle glide 360 slim) it hurt alot. I finally got it out. But then I used a regular flow one. I kept it in for 8 hours and my flow is heavy. I attempted getting it out and it got halfway and stuck to my skin. I felt like I was giving birth, after crying for about an hour attempting to get it out, I got it out...in the tub. Please help me make it not hurt!
Hey there,
Okay well firstly always be gentle inserting a tampon. Never force them in. Try to be relaxed as possible when inserting and removing, as stressing over it will cause your muscles to tense up.
I find the best way to insert it(at the beginning) is to place on leg on the toilet and insert at the angle directed. Tampons aren't supposed to go straight up so make sure you are following the insertion instructions correctly.
A possible reason for them being so difficult to get out is the fact that you are leaving them in for so long! They are probably swelling and becoming saturated to their maximum capacity. You are supposed to change your tampon every 3-4hours. Otherwise you run the risk of developing TSS (toxic shock syndrome) I'm not trying to scare you but is a serious (although rare) and sometimes fatal condition. It happens when toxins build up in your body. So make sure to change it regularly, especially seeing as you have a heavy flow.
I would also consider changing the brand and absorbency of the tampons you are using. They don't seem to be working for you.
I would suggest a higher absorbency due to you having a heavy flow. If the ones you are using don't have an applicator try and get ones that do.
When removing them pull on the string gently and try not to tense up. (I always find removing them uncomfortable) But it shouldn't hurt as much as you say.
Try these techniques and changes and if it still hurts then maybe tampons just aren't for you. Some people find them too irritating and painful.
Hope this helped.
Much
I am a 13 yr old girl from australia. I was masturbating and i put an empty deoderent bottle in my vagina to give me pleasure and when i took it out there was blood on it i was so scared that i thought i lost my virginity please help me i dont wanna tell my dad anything. I dont know if it was my period or not but please help me i need advice
Hi there,
No, you Haven't lost your virginity.
You may have broken your hymen(the skin between your vagina and cervix) or "popped your cherry" as it's sometimes known. You cease being a virgin when a Penis enters your vagina. Then and only then. It doesn't matter if your hymen has been broken before that or not. You are still a virgin until you have penetrative sex.
Much
I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 14. We have been dating for 8 months and I really like him(obviously). When I'm with him I forget what to say and he gets mad at for not talking to him. So how could I fix that? I have another question, my boyfriend invited me to him and his family thanksgiving dinner. How can I get his family to like me?
Hey there,
Aw don't worry it's natural to be shy and nervous around your boyfriend. Especially at the early stages of a relationship and particularly when you are so young. Talk to your boyfriend and explain that you like him so much some times you get a bit tongue tied around him. He is sure to be flattered. :)
Communication is everything in a relationship. He is probably getting mad and losing patience because he doesn't understand. Perhaps he thinks you are ignoring him. If you're too nervous about telling him to his face straight away maybe talk about it over social media (FB, Twitter etc. ) or text him. Then speak about it in person.
As regards his family, just be yourself!
Be polite and courteous. Smile and engage in conversation with them. Don't try too hard too impress just be friendly and open. I know it's nerve wracking but after the first initial awkwardness you will feel right at home! I was the same when going to my boyfriends house for the first time.
Good luck! :)
Jess 19/f
please donate if you can by going to this link http://www.gofundme.com/1jk3yk if you can't please copy and paste the link to any website or e-mail address so other people can donate the help is really appreciated. thanks in advance. every penny counts.
This is an advice site. While the link you posted is presumably a good cause please advertise elsewhere.
Thank you.
16/f I have no hopes at all to become pregnant any time soon! I'm studying art/geology/English at collge and have an average life (I go to parties/gigs and like to meet new people) I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time now.. I am the least 'grown up' (I am very instinctive, more of a go with the flow kind of person and I never plan ahead) girl you could ever meet which is what surprised me when I had a dream aboutbeing pregnant.. In the dream I had no partner but I was heavily pregnant, my family were not around and for some reason these men that were foreign doctors wanted to take the baby out of me and away from me butmynan was trying to help me get away and then I can remember running down the motorway crying, holding my stomach. In the dream I was panicking a lot and all I thought about was the baby,there was nothing about the father or anything. I just want to hear different peoples interpretations of my dream.. so anyone want to give me any ideas on what this means/symbolises?
Hwy there,
Dreams can mean a bunch of different things. Sometimes they hold huge significance for something happening in your life at a certain time. Other times they might not mean anything of remote relevance at all. For instance, sometimes a dream can be trying to tell you something, for example it might be time for change, or to get something of your chest. Sometimes they can even be trying to tell you to get a check up. When I was in school we did a little bit of dream interpretation and it was really interesting. If you look closely you can always find something relevant. Even if it is just your subconscious replaying some random part/event of the day in your dream.
If I were to guess I would say this dream is representing your independence. Such that you are single with no ties studying and have no desire to have a child.
Perhaps the child in the dream represents this, and that is why you are trying so hard to protect it. The baby could be your freedom/independence that you value a lot, and do not want to lose.
Alternatively, it could just be maternal instinct. Representing your vision for the future.. may be in time you would like a partner and child and the thought of having no one there or having something upset that scares you?
Maybe it represents the caring and protective nature of your personality?
That's my take on it anyway and of course I'm not a professional or a psychologist! :D
Much
imk Nikki im a 11 yeear old girl. my best friend is hanging out with a girl im not that close too. i mean ive been friends with her since 2nd grade. but recently we drifted and havent hung for a while. now she just blows me off and never wants to hang out. and whenever her and someone else hang out she always video chats me and makes me jealous. i dont understand. are we true friends?
Hey there,
I understand how you must be feeling. We have all experienced something like this at some stage or another. Unfortunately sweetie it's a part of life and growing up.
People Change, I know it's not nice and it hurts, but it happens.
It may happen to you a few times over the course of your life but the truly great friends who are worth holding on to, won't treat you like a hot topic one day.. then yesterdays news the next.
I hate to say it but this girl only has her own interests at heart. She is immature and is taken up with the idea of having new friends. Sure, it's okay for you guys to have separate friends but blowing you off and making you jealous? what does that say about her? you're better than that. Don't let yourself be treated that way. You seem like a very mature girl for your age. Unfortunately for some girls it takes a while for them to mature and respect friendships. Move on. You'll find friends who are worthy of your friendship and who will stick with you through thick and thin. You're only eleven you have years ahead of you to form life long bonds and trust me you will! don't let this one silly girl get you down. Smile and be happy :)
Much
F17
Hey guys Im dating a guy and he is extremely nice to me. I love him but, I sometimes feel hes way to efectionit! I dont get it I love the way he is but I can't figure out all these stupid emotions.. I know your probably saying yea he's a nice guy don't break his heart but I feel a lot of pressure beacause he mentioned the other day he wouldnt be able to move on if I were to break up with him when I never told him I was. That gets me thinking. sometimes I feel i am only with Him for loneliness. Hes like my guy friend but hes also more then that is that how I'm sopose to feelI don't know I just get lots of thoughts in my head :/ help!
Hey there, :)
I understand exactly how you feel. This is how I felt when I first started going out with my boyfriend. Sometimes I loved being around him, he was so sweet nice and kind. But other times I Felt completely disinterested. Like he was into the relationship more than me. I felt like his affectionate ways bugged me. Other times I loved it.
I actually wrote on here asking for advice.
Some of the advice I got from people here, and from my friends, told me it wasn't fair to be with him if I wasn't as committed as him.
But who is 100% devoted to someone at 17?
you're still young. You're still figuring out all of your emotions. Having the responsibility of a relationship is a huge deal. Having to think of someone besides yourself is a huge deal too.
Some like the idea of a relationship more so then the actual person. In some cases this may be true. In which case the right thing to do is to walk away.
However I am a firm believer that relationships take time to grow. One person may develop feelings of love quicker than the other.And that's only natural. Give it time. See how your feelings grow.
I gave my emotions and my boyfriend a chance. and I'm so glad I did because three years later we are still together. You never know. Give it time and see how you feel. You'll no in your heart if it's right or not. There is no point being with him for the sake of it. If you can see it possibly working out in the future, then give it a fair go. If not it's best to end it now
Much
i dont want to tone my hair because my hair is very dried out & damaged so i was wondering to tone my blonde, brassy hair can i just dye it a manic panic purple & when it fades will it be toned? thanks! ( i chose manic panic because i heard is vegan )
Hey there,
Okay to be honest it's not a good idea.
If your hair is already dried and damaged putting such a radical colour over it won't help. Sure it will cover the brassy tones but only temporarily.
When your hair fades out with will be a multitude of colours. And it's not good for your hair in general.
It will only make it worse trust me.
Your best option would be to visit your nearest stylist and they can recommend a good conditioning treatment that will revitalize your hair. There are a variety you can buy and they are not expensive :)
When your hair is in better condition you could then dye over it. Maybe a darker colour to help tone it. Again your hair stylist can help
I personally stay away from home dyes but it's everyones preference.
Good luck :)
I'm 14 to start off .
Okay , so My dad has been acting stranger towards me , ever since he found out I had a boyfriend which was like 1 year ago .(I don't have a boyfriend anymore cause I realize I need to focuse in life more) But anyways That changed him ? /: I don't know how . But it did ... I don't understand . He started treating me differently ... If I asked for something he tells me "your old enough , get it yourself" and me and him rarely even speak now. He comes back from work at night and he doesn't really talk to me . He gets mad at me for every single LITTLE thing ! When I wanna tell him something good ' he ignores me .. :( or he just says "that's great , but when are you going to clean this house or help your mom" . I ask him for money for some shoes for school and he says no but my older brother (the best one in the family) asks him an he says yes . He always listens to him more and probably because my brother is successful in everything . And my dad just looks at me like "what are you going to do with your life" like as if I'm not trying /: I spend my time locked in my room the whole time cause I like thinking and planning my life .when my dad comes back from work he always says "why can't you do anything around here than just be in your room texting and getting on Facebook" That's not even true , I'm trying ! I'm thinking on how I can be good enough for someone ! Look just cause parents think they have a hard life trying to work , raise a family , put food on the table , get us everything we need , try to pay everything , doesn't mean our life's arent hard ! I'm not saying my life is the worstest but it still is something . I'm here struggling to be the best to make my parents proud ! Planning my life ! Trying at school ! Trying for my own needs ! I'm trying ! Too ! Just cause my parents didn't finish school They don't know how hard it is ! And then having to deal with ignorant people at school ! My parents don't even listen to me. When we argue and I tell them how i feel . They say im stupid /: Well I'm sorry that my feelings are something stupid . Sorry I'm only human...
Hey there,
I'm very sorry to hear your parents are shutting you out. :(
Don't lose heart though. Some parents can be like that. They forget what it is like to be young. Trying to figure out your role and place in the world. Trying to make everyone proud, trying to fit in trying to succeed.
Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Whether you realise it or not your parents do love you! Sometimes it might not seem that way but trust me they do. They have your best interests at heart and often say these things to better you. Sometimes it does feel like you're stuck in a siblings shadow but never compare yourself to your brother.
You're your own person and your parents should realise that. They shouldn't call you stupid for trying to tell you how you feel. They are probably just putting it down to teenage drama, either way you should be listened to. If your parents don't do it find someone who does. A close friend or relative, even a teacher. Someone you can vent to :) You can always do it here, we have all had our ups and downs.
Don't try so hard to prove yourself to your parents, if they can't already see how great you are then they are missing out on getting to know their wonderful daughter, and that's their problem. Don't stress over trying to succeed at everything. Do YOUR best, not everyone else's but yours. Take everything day by day and live your life. Don't let anyone put you down or criticize you. People may say you're good for nothing but you're good for everything. One day you will prove them wrong.
Best of luck and if you ever need to talk my inbox is wide open.
Much
I'm a man and I like to wear make up just because I want to,because I like the way my face looks with it,so why is it still seen as a tabu that a guy likes to wear make up??????I wanted to buy a foundation in a shop today and felt really embarrassed because one of the st...d sale assistants laughhed at me just because I was buying make up???What's so funny about it?What do you think?I'm so mad
Hey there,
It's just the way society is,was and always will be.
We have set norms on what is deemed "socially acceptable" and what is not.
Years ago it was women couldn't work or vote or wear pants. Men did all the work Women stayed at home.
Thankfully society has changed an awful lot since then. But you have to bear in mind it's still evolving.
Personally I think each to their own. It's your life do whatever you're comfortable with and what makes you happy. I know a lot of guys who wear guy liner,and I know a lot of guys who would rip the piss on them because of it.
You really shouldn't worry so much about what people think. I know it's easier said than done but you will waste so much time and energy stressing over it. You shouldn't be embarrassed. For all they know it could be for a girl you know anyway.
It's just a little hard for people to accept. It's like a guy wearing a skirt people would find it weird. Same with make up in some cases.
Maybe one day it will be different. Until then continue doing you :)
Much
So I'm 17/F and the other night I was at a party on a college campus and it ended up ending a lot sooner than I thought. I was supposed to be spending the night with one of my friends but she went off with her boyfriend because they were in a big fight and basically ditched me... This guy that I kind of have been having a thing with that was there (we'll call him Matt: 19) was like "hey we can just chill in my car and figure it out" cause we were both too drunk to drive. So we're walking to his car and this dude starts yelling stuff at me and I don't really remember what he said lol but I think it was pretty sexual/rude cause it pissed Matt off and Matt was trying to start something with him cause he gets like that when he's drunk... anyway last thing I remember after that was sitting down on the sidewalk being really confused. I woke up in Matt's car but Matt wasn't there, neither were the keys, and the windows were down. I got pretty scared cause I didn't know where he was and I was just sitting in this open car in the middle of a college campus and Matt's phone was in the car so I didn't know what else to do but call one of my freinds Jake to come pick me up. He picks me up and since my friend ditched me and I couldn't go home I ended up having to spend the night at Jakes hous. Jake and I have a history of almost hooking up but never actually doing it and he has a girlfriend now so I knew we had to be extra careful and I was like, I'm not gonna hook up with him. But I was really drunk and so mad at Matt for just leaving me in his car (he ended up texting me saying he was fine and that he was just gonna spend the night in his car so I knew he was okay but I was pissed he had just left me like that). Anyway,I was upset and drunk and I didn't feel well so Jake layed me on his couch and started rubbing my back. He put my head in his lap (on a pillow) and kept going but started to go under my pants... he took my hand and held it for a little while then started moving it toward his penis. I don't know what I was thinking but when he pulled down his pants and put my head there I just started giving him a BJ... I had been going for a little bit and then I stopped and he was like "uh yeah, we prolly shouldn't finish that..." I was like "wtf Jake. why did I do that?" and he says "I don't know but it felt so good I couldn't stop you. If I were single we'd be up in my bed right now but damn..." he didn't even seem sorry, I felt worse than he did and he was comforting me. We agreed we could never tell anyone about it but I'm just freaking out. He wasn't even drunk and he initiated it but if anyone finds out, I'm gonna be the one that gets called a slut and what not. He's going to college in the fall and his gf is only gonna be a junior so he was gonna break up with her at the end of the summer anyway and I know everyone hates his girlfriend cause she's a total bitch but that doesn't make what I did any better and I just feel so awful... He doesn't even seem to feel bad but he doesn't want anyone to find out either. Im just so scared he's gonna tell her or something and he's gonna say my name and oh my gosh... please help!!!
Hey there,
Okay so you made a mistake. You've realised that. You need to stop dwelling on it and beating yourself up over it. We all make mistakes we are simply human. We do stupid things when we drink too much.
It's a lesson to be learned and take on board for the future. If anything Jake was more so in the wrong. He took advantage of you in your drunken state and had absolutely no regard for his girlfriend be she a bitch or not. She doesn't deserve to be cheated on.
I disagree with adviceman. You were not raped..
Rape is defined as:
"The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, esp. by the threat or use of violence."
He didn't force you to have sex with him. You willingly gave him oral sex.
There is a very big difference.
But you stopped. Give yourself credit you realised the wrong doing and made him stop. He won't tell trust me. He won't want to be known as a cheater and likelihood is he will want to keep stringing his girlfriend along until he decides to dump or cheat on her again.
Be careful while drinking in the future. Know your limits and always be on guard. Take it from someone who had her drink spiked you do NOT want that to happen. Don't let guys take advantage of you. If you think that's going to be a problem when drinking well don't drink as much.
So try to relax okay? :) It's in the past move on and learn.
Good luck and much
I would like to start by thanking anyone who takes the time to read this multi-part question. It is as much the result of a need to vent as it is a sincere request for a second opinion in a time in which the rational part of my brain seems to have abandoned me.
I am a 23 year old (male) that moved half way around the world about five months ago on a whim. I have had dates since I got here, but nothing was all that impressive until a few weeks ago. There is a tiny shop tucked away in a mall that I frequent. Around the second or third time I passed through the shop, a girl that works there casually started talking to me. I had to leave, but she asked for me to come back and talk to her some other time. A week later I returned and we talked for over an hour. I found myself thinking about her frequently in the following days and made up my mind to return and ask for her number and ask her out.
Herein lies my first question. I believe that this girl genuinely likes me, but some part of my brain works overtime to convince me that I am in fact delusional and seeing things that aren't there. The girl seemed genuinely pleased when I asked for her number. I went on to try and set up a date then and there, but things went less well. Every time I mentioned something we could do, her face would light up, but that would quickly disappear as we determined that she would in fact be working during every social gathering I was attending that week.
When we talk she seems almost overly interested in me, and she seems to point out some positive quality she sees in me after everything I tell her. If I say I recently graduated from university, she says, "oh, so you're intelligent". If I say I live alone, she says, "oh, you're so independent". I believe that these are all signs that she is genuinely interested, but I would appreciate you confirming this (or rejecting it completely if you think I've gone off the deep end).
I have told her that I sincerely want to get together outside of her work, but I'm wondering if I should be more direct in expressing that I am genuinely interested in more than a casual friendship.
The next part of my question pertains to how to proceed. Even in the best case scenario, more than a couple dates a week will probably not be possible due to both our busy schedules (in this country, people frequently work 70 hours a week or more, and she is one of those people). I feel that if I don't make a serious romantic gesture soon, she may lose interest. Basically, I'm looking for ideas on something fun and meaningful that we could do even with a very limited amount of time.
Ultimately, the rational part of my brain tells me to give up. On paper there is nothing exceptional about this girl. She is by no means the most accomplished or attractive girl I have met recently, but I feel this inexplicable attraction to her that I cannot get over. I am a young man with all a young man's desires, and yet I find myself intrigued with a girl simply from a handful of conversations and phone calls.
Should I let reason prevail? Or should I try to make things work despite the seeming impossibility of the situation? After all, there's a reason why it's called a "leap of faith".
If you have made it this far, I would like to congratulate you. Patience is a virtue that you certainly possess. Know that your advice is sincerely appreciated.
Hey there,
Okay In my opinion you are over-thinking things a little bit too much.
You said you believed she genuinely likes you,but then as you say you have doubts. Such as second guessing yourself. It's natural we all do that from time to time.
All the signs are there that she is really interested in you. She frequently compliments you,someone who likes someone wouldn't keep doing it for the sake of it. You are not imagining things this girl likes you.
You also mentioned her face lit up when you suggested getting together,followed by disappointment when realising that she couldn't. Again tell tale signs. As you said she works a lot and so do you. So her reasons weren't fabricated.
Text her and tell her how you feel! Or in person id you would prefer. Let her know that you really like her and can't stop thinking about her and that you really hope you can get together soon.
Why don't you take her out to a romantic dinner?You really can't go wrong there. It's one of my favourite things to do with my boyfriend. As I love trying new restaurants. Does she have a preferred type of food or anything she has mentioned?Like Italian or French or something.
You could keep it casual and see a movie but as you said you wanted something meaningful..
Bring her flowers and if you're going with the whole dinner thing maybe go for a walk after wards along the beach if there is one near? Or go for a drink.
I don't really know what else to suggest as far as first dates go,there isn't a lot you could do. As you get to know her the more romantic gestures will follow.
You could send her flowers at work to let her know you're interested in being more than just friends?
She doesn't have to be the most attractive or accomplished girl as long as you like her. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is obviously something special about her if you find yourself drawn to her.
By all means don't give up. It's not an impossible situation,just a slightly inconvenient one due to work load. Find a time that suits there surely will be one and go from there.
Good luck and I sincerely hope I helped. If you have any more questions please,do not hesitate to inbox me.
Much
It's a really popular song, I think. I only remember two small parts of the lyrics.
"If you walked away"
"My one and only love"
Anybody have an idea? It's features in a lot of love movies. I just never took the time to figure out who it's by.
Hey there,
I know this is an old question but I came across it..
Anyway if you haven't figured it out Bruno Mars rain came to mind.
One line goes like "If you walk away every day it will rain"
It's in Breaking Dawn. Mightn't be it but worth a shot.
Jess 18/f
I recently started dating a guy. I have known him since I was little but we starting becoming friend about a year ago. We texted everyday talked every night he called me beautiful and things like that. I found out he liked me asked him about it and we ended up dating but now I feel different. I feel like he'd more of a friend then a boyfriend. I've never been physically attracted to him but he had a great personality. I feel like if were going to kiss I won't want to do it. Can you have a relationship without physical attraction? Also Im not very good at complimenting people. I can be mean but I just joke around. I feel like as his girlfriend I should be all "aw you're so sweet. I love you" blah blah but I cant. With all my past boyfriends I've never been like that. Im not clingy and I dont express my feelings. How can I be nicer to him. How do I make him feel like he means something to me. I think I have this wall up because Im scared to get hurt. Or is it because deep down he's just a friend to me and I dont want to tell him these things. I love talking to him and he makes me laugh and smile,but friends do that too. I can't break up with him because what if I do like him and Im just too stupid to know it.
Hey there,
Okay let me tell you this is exactly how I felt about my boyfriend when we first started dating. So I can feel I can relate to this quite a bit.
I didn't find him sexually attractive what so ever.
But he was the sweetest,kindest most down to earth guy I had EVER met. He made me laugh like no one else ever could and just truly understood me. I felt like I could be myself around him. Everyone kept telling us to date but I just didn't feel it. After about a year and a half he was there for me during a very bad break up,and I realised maybe what i've been looking for has been right in front of me? (as cliche as that sounds)
So I gave it a go. In the begining much like you I felt like I just couldn't be attracted to him.I Would cringe whenever he would commpliment me or call me baby or babe. I couldn't call him those things at all. Around 5-6months In I contemplated ended it. But I said id give it a little longer. My sister told me that when you fall in love with someones personality,eventually the physical attraction will shine through. And you know what?That is exactly what happened. Almost 3years later we're still together,and stronger than ever.
I don't know how or when but I just found myself becomming more and more attracted to him physically.
So what I would say to you is give it a bit more time. You only recently started dating love takes time to grow in my opinion.
I put up walls like you also but you need to learn to let them down just a bit to let people in. There's a risk you might get hurt but that risk is there with any relationship. As the relationship progresses you will find it easier to let him in and express yourself. You don't have to do it by saying I love you a 100 times a day or calling him baby or whatever. Find your own little ways of showing it. Like posting his favourite song or a song that reminds you of him to his facebook if he has one. Or texting him a random song lyric. Stuff like that.
Some would say it's not fair to lead him on,but I don't think you're doing that. I think you do really care for him you just don't Love him yet. My boyfriend confessed his love for me first but it took me a lot longer. And that's okay :)
You will know if it's going somewhere or not. So in short give it a little more time and see how your feelings are then,if you think there is no way you could ever be intimate with him well then it's best to end it.
Good luck and I really hope I helped. :)
Much
13/f how do you know if you still have feelings for Someone? Cause I used to like this guy then he crushed my heart and I'm having dreams now.
Hey there,
Well do you still think about him a lot? Do you get a feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see,talk, or think about him? If he's pretty much all you can think about well then yes you most likely still have feelings for him.
Especially if you're dreaming about him. I guess the real issue here is what to do with those feelings.
You say he crushed your heart, in that case it's best to move on.
I know it's hard but it gets easier with time. Just surround yourself with your friends and keep busy with the things you love to do.
Distract yourself when you start to think about him and delete his number. It's easier that way. Before you know it some one new and better will come along :) You're still so young remember,there is plenty of time for dating and liking guys. Enjoy being single,young and carefree while you can. Trust me relationships can be very stressful.
Good luck and Much
My boyfriend just left to basic camp training and he has been away for about 4 weeks now. The problem is that he broke up with me before he left because he thought that it would be better for our relationship. I really do not agree. He wants to keep our communication going even though we are not really "together" and it is making me emotionally unstable. How can I deal with this situation when I love this person so much that I don't want to lose him? He will be gone for a 1 year and about 7 months after Basic Camp Training but he still wants me to visit him and still talk as if nothing has happened. What should I do? I need help!
Hey there,
Okay it sounds to me like he wants the best of both worlds. That's a dangerous situation to get into. It will toy with you emotionally and physically. I mean it's just not healthy.
You're not together but then in a sense you're going to be acting like you are.
It will just cause a lot of hurt in my opinion.
You can't just forget nothing happened.
If he was 100% committed to you he would stay together and you would visit and keep in contact.
It's so hard when your boyfriend is in the military. I know first hand in a way. My dad was in the military for 21 years. So my mom had to deal with him being gone a lot. And me and my sisters too as young children. He was often gone on year long placements. But if you love someone so much it's a sacrifice worth taking. My mom and dad remained together and are stronger than ever.
What you need to decide is,is this the kind of life/relationship you want? With your boyfriend gone overseas for months on end?
Can you handle it?If you think you can explain this to him. Tell him you want to make it work as a couple. But if he can't do it then neither can you. You should remain friends and only that. None of this acting like nothing happened and visiting etc.
As you said it's making you emotionally unstable. You may as well be in the relationship if that's what you will be doing.
So talk to him about it more find out how he truly feels,why he wanted you to break up. Tell him how you feel,decide what you truly want and go from there.
Good luck and Much
Hi. I'm sorry if this gets lengthy. Most of it is venting. But, it will help you get a clearer picture. First let me point out that I am 21.I will be turning 22 soon. I am graduating from college this December with two Bachelors degrees and then going on to pursue a Master's. Most people tell me that they wish they had me as their daughter. I'm a very religious and spiritual person. I don't like to stay out too late unless something runs late, but not as a habit. Right now, I stopped working, because i had a part-time job, and since Im graduating college, I am ready to start on my career. However, I never ask my parents for money, unless it's for books for school or for gas, because I don't want to get stopped in the middle of the road.
I use to be very close with my mom. I use to tell her EVERYTHING. I think the problem was that I let her in a little too much, till I let her control me most of the time. I let her dress me however she wanted and I would wear whatever she told me to wear. I was such good friends with my mom, that I decided to stay here to pursue my undergraduate degree. Although my mom always told me what to wear and what to do, she seemed to have a pretty lenient side. On the other hand, she would let me go wherever I wanted and do whatever I wanted (within limits, I'm not saying that I was at a nightclub at 16. I'm just saying I had fun). She never told me I couldn't go to a party or anything like that, as long as she knew where it was. I think that the reason that we had this kind of relationship was because we had such good communication, which is great and rare during the adolescent period.
Moving on to something very personal. Being such a religious and spiritual person, it took a lot of thinking on what I felt would be right in terms of losing my virginity before marriage. I even talked to my mom about it! Letting her in on this very personal part of my life should be evidence that I keep very little from her. Yet, she's always accusing me of lying. The other day, I went to the zoo. Because I didn't take any pictures, she said she didn't believe I was at the zoo. Where does she think I was? Having sex?! If she already knows that I'm sexually active, would I not have just told her I was going to spend time alone with my boyfriend? It is irritating me more and more how she's always telling me what to do. And she is so childish about it, too. If I don't do what she says, such as wear the shoes that she wants me to, she will not speak to me for days.
No one in my family holds her accountable for her actions. They are always excusing her saying that she is "just nervous" or she has "been through a lot." Being though a lot is the following: her boyfriend died when she was 15. Her husband left her for another woman. She adopted a baby who died at birth. She adopted another baby (me), and I was a very sick child so she spent a lot of time at the hospital taking care of me. Now, I understand this is a lot. However, just 5 months ago, I lost my little cousin, to cancer, and he was the only person in this family who I was truly close to. She adopted me, but I found out I was adopted at 18 and she arranged a meeting to meet my bio. parents behind my back. She may have been taking care of me, but I was the sick one. Her husband may have left her, but I lost my first close boyfriend to drugs. So, I'm not trying to degrade her troubles. I'm just saying that I have had my share as well. And no one ever excuses me for ANYTHING. If I breathe to loud, they tell me.
My aunt was talking to me the other day about the argument I had with my mom because she wouldn't bring me a towel when I was in the bathroom and there were no towels. And as I mentioned, I'm adopted. And she tells me "you're mother gave you up because she wanted to. She didn't want you.' Then she calls my dad my "supposed father," because of the fact that I'm adopted. Then she proceeds to telling me that she's "glad" I'm here, and that I should feel lucky. I feel that this is extremely insulting.
My cousin (the brother of the one that passed away) treats me awful! He's only 26. He is a medical student. So, he, himself, is a student. And whenever I talk about my graduate programs or just intelligent conversations about psychology or sociology (my majors), they (him and my mom) just turn away like I'm some little kid who saw this information on Elmo. I feel horrible. They are like two little allies. She is always calling him and texting him to go out for dinner or whatever. And while their out, he starts texting me "when are you coming home?" super serious, like if he were my father. It disgusts me! Most of the time, when he's texting this, I'm at the library or my boyfriend's family's house playing board games. I've done nothing wrong and nothing to deserve this! I wish that I could work and move out. But, the only reason I can't is because since it is my last semester, I had to get those classes, and they were all scattered.
I try to get them to take me seriously. I am almost a college graduate with a respectable career. I am an adult. But, I am very small and I look very young. I am 4"11, very petite. And somehow, I think that there is an influence there. Maybe they can't get past my appearance. I don't know. And even if I did dress to try to look very old and professional, I shouldn't have to do that in my own home.
PLEASE HELP!
Hey there,
I'm sorry for all your troubles. Have you ever heard the quote by Marilyn Monroe? "and when it comes down to it,I let them think what they want.If they care enough to bother with what I do,then I'm already better than them"
Meaning you should never listen to peoples criticisms and judegments. Sometimes it's best to hold your head up high and turn the other cheek. I know it's hard at times but trust me you will save a lot of time and energy,that would otherwise be wasted in pointless and petty arguments. Life is too short.Your mothers accusations and paranoia regarding where you have been are Her problem.
You are an adult,you do not have to justify your actions or whereabouts to anyone! Not even your mother. Frankly it's none of her business,Nor anyone else's.
Whenever someone pisses you off in future voice your opinion. Stand up for yourself. Don't take it. Don't allow yourself to be a pushover,people are always going to walk all over you otherwise.
You need to learn to bear your own emotions,and not of those around you.
Like your aunt for instance I would have called her out on it and let her know that it was none of her business.
I used to care too much about other peoples feelings even if they were the ones hurting me. Then I wisened up and took no crap. People respected me more because of it.
There is nothing wrong with being a caring and thoughtful person. But if you wear your heart on your sleeve people are going to play with it.
You have achieved a fantastic credible degree! Don't let anyone take that a way from you. Just because your cousin is studying medicine does not make him more intelligent than you. It's unfortunate that they do not take interest in your studies. But you should be proud of yourself regardless. If they don't want to talk about it simply don't talk to them then. Wait for them to come to you. Do your own thing.
Another thing do not entertain your cousin. Who does he think he is asking you where you are. Again you don't have to answer to anyone,so don't simple as.
If your mother has a problem with the way you dress,politely let her know it's your body and your life so she will have to deal with it. You are not her own personal dress up doll. She may have told you what to wear when you were younger but now you're an adult it's entirely your decision. If she doesn't talk to you over it it's her problem she will get over it. Remember you have choices,opinions and rights. You have an identity. Don't let anyone else dictate as to how you should lead your life. YOU define you. It's great you have such a close relationship with your mom but you don't have to share every minute detail of your life with her. We all need our privacy from time to time. I'm very close with my mother I share a lot with her,but not everything.
It sounds like they're trying to suffocate you. Don't allow this to happen.
Good luck and I hope this helps some how.
Much
Ok so Im 13/f and I have NOT had sex or any sexual experience but I have kissed a guy before and I have masterbated once.
For about a week now, I have been having this rash thing around my vaginal area. It is big and I cant go swimming because it will show through my bathing suit because it is very large. I told my mom about the rash and showed her and she got me this cream stuff from the cupports in our kitchen and it is called 'Cortizone-10' for external use. I have been using it for a few days now and it isnt going away. It stops the irritation but does not get rid of the rash. Advice?
Also, should I start shaving pubic hair because it also shows through my bathing suit and I do not want that.. so should I?
Hey there,
Okay this could be a multitude of things. None of us on here are doctors so of course we cannot give you a diagnosis.
If I was to hazard a guess I would say it's thrush,but again I'm not a doctor.
Thrush is a form of a yeast infection and can occur without any sexual activity at all. It's very common.
I use a cream called Canestine. I find it very effective.
Sometimes however if a cream is not clearing it may be because the infection is internal. In this case you may need to take a tablet to clear it up.
As regards shaving that is completely up to you. If you are feeling self conscious then it wouldn't do any harm. Especially for swimming.
However I would advise you to wait until your rash is cleared up as shaving may irritate it further. Also shaving can leave you very itchy and there is a risk of developing painful ingrown hairs if you don't do it properly. Waxing,although slightly painful is a much more convenient method.
Talk to your mom about the rash again tell her it's not cleared up and go see a doctor.
Good luck and much
So I've been talking to this guy for a while and we've been getting a lot closer lately. We both feel like amazing connection with each other, or at least he says he does, but we just feel right together. We skyped a few days ago and and were going to again today. I texted him at around 3 and he didn't text me back till 8 asking me if we could skype. I texted back and said yeah let's do it, he told me he was going to call in a little bit but never did... I kinda of just shrugged it off but still wondered why he blew me off. I didn't say anything to him about it though because I did not want to feel clingy or anything like that. A few hours later he called me while I was out and I didn't answer. He texted me after with a sad face and I didn't answer. About an hour later he called me again and I didn't answer. Mostly for the reason that I was out with people and I couldn't really talk to him. But do you think I did the right thing to show I'm not too clingy or that I am always available when he wants me? Should I wait for him to text me or should I text him first?
Hey there,
Yes I think you were right not to answer to him right away. You were genuinely busy. There could be many reasons as to why he didn't text back or skype that time. He too,could have been genuinely busy or got distracted. Or he could have blew you off.
Either way I wouldn't make a habit of ignoring him on purpose just to get back at him. I know that's not what you did but for future incidents.
I would text him and keep it casual Say "Hey,sorry I was out with friends and couldn't really talk the other day. How is everything with you,you never skyped me" Or something to that effect.
It's good not to be too clingy or desperate but at the same time you don't want to keep getting blown off. If he continues to do it I would have a talk to him about it or else move on. But for now keep talking like you usually do and allow for the fact that you both on occasion might be busy. But don't take crap either. If he says he is going to skype and then continually doesn't somethings up.
Good luck and much
My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship. As of now, he is 15 and I'm 14. He is very sweet but his anger tends to get out of control sometimes(such as swearing a lot) Recently, he encountered one of his friends on Facebook. He told me that he was mad because he had asked her a question and she told him that she would tell, but wanted to know why he was asking. He blocked her and was extremely annoyed. He asked me what i thought of it and I didn't know what to say. I thought that he overreacted to it but even though he never has, I still didn't want him to get mad at me for saying he was rude. I never see him other than online but i don't know what to tell him. His anger gets out of control but he apologized for yelling. If somebody could give me some advice, i'd be grateful! Sorry the question is so long!!
Thank you.
Hey there, Okay you might not like what I'm about to say but I think you need to consider the healthiness of this relationship and whether its actually going anywhere. The fact is you shouldnt be afraid to say what you really think. You have an opinion you shouldnt have to hold back in a relationship. And you definitely shouldnt be tip toeing around him for fear of setting him off. Take it from someone who has dated over the internet it only ever ends in heart ache. Especially since you dont see one another. You need the physical effects of a relationship as well as the emotional. I was in a relationship with a guy online when I was 15 and i litterally would do anything to make him happy. Such as agreeing with him all the time. My life outside of him suffered I fell behind in school and saw my friends less. I know this may not be the case but it could be. In the end he dumped me for a girl who lived near him. I would reconsider your relationship with this boy perhaps just be friends. Good luck and much