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Dating a very busy girl and other reasons I can't sleep at night
I would like to start by thanking anyone who takes the time to read this multi-part question. It is as much the result of a need to vent as it is a sincere request for a second opinion in a time in which the rational part of my brain seems to have abandoned me.
I am a 23 year old (male) that moved half way around the world about five months ago on a whim. I have had dates since I got here, but nothing was all that impressive until a few weeks ago. There is a tiny shop tucked away in a mall that I frequent. Around the second or third time I passed through the shop, a girl that works there casually started talking to me. I had to leave, but she asked for me to come back and talk to her some other time. A week later I returned and we talked for over an hour. I found myself thinking about her frequently in the following days and made up my mind to return and ask for her number and ask her out.
Herein lies my first question. I believe that this girl genuinely likes me, but some part of my brain works overtime to convince me that I am in fact delusional and seeing things that aren't there. The girl seemed genuinely pleased when I asked for her number. I went on to try and set up a date then and there, but things went less well. Every time I mentioned something we could do, her face would light up, but that would quickly disappear as we determined that she would in fact be working during every social gathering I was attending that week.
When we talk she seems almost overly interested in me, and she seems to point out some positive quality she sees in me after everything I tell her. If I say I recently graduated from university, she says, "oh, so you're intelligent". If I say I live alone, she says, "oh, you're so independent". I believe that these are all signs that she is genuinely interested, but I would appreciate you confirming this (or rejecting it completely if you think I've gone off the deep end).
I have told her that I sincerely want to get together outside of her work, but I'm wondering if I should be more direct in expressing that I am genuinely interested in more than a casual friendship.
The next part of my question pertains to how to proceed. Even in the best case scenario, more than a couple dates a week will probably not be possible due to both our busy schedules (in this country, people frequently work 70 hours a week or more, and she is one of those people). I feel that if I don't make a serious romantic gesture soon, she may lose interest. Basically, I'm looking for ideas on something fun and meaningful that we could do even with a very limited amount of time.
Ultimately, the rational part of my brain tells me to give up. On paper there is nothing exceptional about this girl. She is by no means the most accomplished or attractive girl I have met recently, but I feel this inexplicable attraction to her that I cannot get over. I am a young man with all a young man's desires, and yet I find myself intrigued with a girl simply from a handful of conversations and phone calls.
Should I let reason prevail? Or should I try to make things work despite the seeming impossibility of the situation? After all, there's a reason why it's called a "leap of faith".
If you have made it this far, I would like to congratulate you. Patience is a virtue that you certainly possess. Know that your advice is sincerely appreciated.
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Hey there,
Okay In my opinion you are over-thinking things a little bit too much.
You said you believed she genuinely likes you,but then as you say you have doubts. Such as second guessing yourself. It's natural we all do that from time to time.
All the signs are there that she is really interested in you. She frequently compliments you,someone who likes someone wouldn't keep doing it for the sake of it. You are not imagining things this girl likes you.
You also mentioned her face lit up when you suggested getting together,followed by disappointment when realising that she couldn't. Again tell tale signs. As you said she works a lot and so do you. So her reasons weren't fabricated.
Text her and tell her how you feel! Or in person id you would prefer. Let her know that you really like her and can't stop thinking about her and that you really hope you can get together soon.
Why don't you take her out to a romantic dinner?You really can't go wrong there. It's one of my favourite things to do with my boyfriend. As I love trying new restaurants. Does she have a preferred type of food or anything she has mentioned?Like Italian or French or something.
You could keep it casual and see a movie but as you said you wanted something meaningful..
Bring her flowers and if you're going with the whole dinner thing maybe go for a walk after wards along the beach if there is one near? Or go for a drink.
I don't really know what else to suggest as far as first dates go,there isn't a lot you could do. As you get to know her the more romantic gestures will follow.
You could send her flowers at work to let her know you're interested in being more than just friends?
She doesn't have to be the most attractive or accomplished girl as long as you like her. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is obviously something special about her if you find yourself drawn to her.
By all means don't give up. It's not an impossible situation,just a slightly inconvenient one due to work load. Find a time that suits there surely will be one and go from there.
Good luck and I sincerely hope I helped. If you have any more questions please,do not hesitate to inbox me.
Much <3
Jess 18/f
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