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humorist-workshop
It's my relationship, not theirs!
14 (almost 15) female
My boyfriend and I have been dating officially for over a month now, but we've liked each other for a few years and we have been good friends for a long time. You probably think fourteen is too young to have a serious relationship, but I politely disagree.
My problem is that ever since the day we announced we were going out, it seems like everyone I meet has to put their two cents in. At school dances, people we hardly know watch us slow dance and take pictures while exclaiming how cute we are. Every time I speak to one of my relatives on the phone, they make rude jokes or snide comments. Most of my so-called "friends" make crude jokes and try to set the rules of our relationship.
These may not seem like major issues, but they do add up. I try to smile and laugh with these rude people, or sometimes I just ignore them. Lately, however, it's becoming more and more difficult. Please give me some advice on how to deal with these people, so my boyfriend and I can relax and just enjoy our relationships.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
This is pretty standard.
My boyfriend and I are both in our 20's, we haven't been together very long and this happens to us frequently, especially when we introduce each other to friends for the first time.
Everyone enjoys a love story, and people often forget their place when it comes to passing comment or judging other people's relationships.
On top of that (and without patronising you), at your age relationships are still relatively new. It's likely that many of your friends have never had girlfriends or boyfriends before and it's probably fascinating for them. I also wouldn't be surprised if some of your friends were jealous of the fact that you have a boyfriend.
I know it's hard, but please try and ignore the comments, or politely ask these people to mind their own business. With close friends, I would suggest you tell them how you feel and ask them not to do it, but with others, you might prefer to offer a light hearted but firm comment (e.g. "It's funny, I didn't realise I was going out with you too!")
Eventually, the attention and fascination with you and your boyfriend will probably die down. A new couple will come along and be the hottest on the block. But until then, grit your teeth and congratulate yourself on having such a popular relationship!
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We HAVE The Same Exact Problem & Were The Same Age It's Just That Me And My Boyfriend Have Been Dating For Three Months Now & Everyone Wants To Break Us Up And Always Message Me Or Him Asking About Our Problems Or Why Are We Arguing, The Way I Dealt With It Was Telling People To Worry About Themselves Because it's really going to break you guys up, so put the people who do it to the side and tell them you don't like the fact that they are in your buisness and you don't have to raise your voice speak to them in a adult way if they raise their voice just walk away that doesn't make you a coward it makes you look like the bigger person also don't tell other people your problems between you and your boyfriend because it will spread around and create drama tell someone you really trust and tell him too. he will be happy that your telling him how you feel :) it really works good luck
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My suggestion would be that you ignore them or you ask them politely to stop. Tell your friends in a nice way that it is your relationship not theirs.In due time in about a year or so when you hit high school? I think you're still in middle school, 8th grade right? If so, it will pass. Just wait it out. Eventually they'll get tired of bugging you about your relationship.
Another thing, don't stress yourself out. Enjoy your relationship with your guy. Don't let them bug you 'kay? [:
Good luck!
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Welcome to the real world. I can almost remember when I was 14 and my first girlfriend. My parents and their friends thought it was cute and called it "Puppy Love."
Now this was many decades ago and kids were not as cruel as they are today though there is one common thread from then to now; jealousy. You have something they don't have and they are jealous it is really that simple.
The rules they are giving you for dating; well the only true rules are the ones your parents give you and your own values. Never kiss a boy on a the first date that was never written someplace, as well as some other rules your friends may give you.
As for the jokes, the rude remarks and anything else. Pretend to be a duck and let them role off your back. There is not much you can do about these things so do as your doing and ignore them.
One thing I will warn you about and this is something that is true for all boys you will meet. Boys between ages 14 through ages of 18 and sometimes highers confuse lust and love. They are hard wired from puberty to find sexual outlets. It is all the new hormones, hence the word horny, floating in them.
Both you and your boyfriend are way to young to be having any type of sexual relationship. While your bodies may be capable. Neither of you are mature enough for the consequences of adult sexual relations.
You would be surprised at the number of letters we get from girls your age, younger and older who think they may be pregnant because they had some type of sex with their boyfriend, even if it did not include intercourse.
It is okay to hug and kiss for now and the immediate future. That is as far as you should allow any boy to go. To be a little bit crude what I am saying is to keep your clothes on and in the proper place.
I'm old enough to be your grandfather and speak from experience on this subject.
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