"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY
Occupation: Cashier at the local Wal-Mart
Age: 23
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1105
Last Update: September 3, 2010
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I am making a little scrapbook thing of stuff my boyfriend likes. He really likes Guns and Roses the band and I wanted to put a few little facts on them in the booklet thing. I don't know too much about them so I've been Googling some facts about Guns n Roses all day. One of the main things I want to include is when they started the band and/or formed into what they are today or whatever. I am finding conflicting information so I'm asking here: Does anybody know when Guns and Roses became a band?
THANK YOU ALL! (link)
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The band Guns N Roses actually formed in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California in the year 1985.
The GNR or GN'R band name was fashioned using two of the group members' names. The original Guns 'n Roses group leader was named Tracii Guns and the Hollywood Rose group leader's name was Axl Rose (born as William Bruce Rose, Jr. and who is most known from Guns n' Roses, obviously).
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I've Had depression i would say since the age of 12 i am now 20. I have felt so sad so angry that i either cry or hurt myself. I read your page but helpin others would kill me ive worked as a cashier for the last two yrs rite now i want to kill ppl and myself. The one question i keep asking myself is ' What is the point'?
- why do we go to school n then work?
-why do we work so hard a house family when in the end we all die n dont get to enjoy it?
- why bother havin a family wen i dont want kids that will feel as much pain as me?
-why do anything ?
there is no point n thats what scars me. my mother got a termination before my older bro n i, everyday i believe " why couldnt she kept that kid and termated me" i never asked to b born thats why deaths looks so peaceful.... I hope u can give me sum answers or advice. Ive tried doctors,meds, talkin to family and friends but nuthin works and i mean nuthin its the pian thats only stoppin me otherwise id hang myself or if i can get a gun id been dead by now... (link)
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Hi:
If you want to hurt others (ie: ...ive worked as a cashier for the last two yrs rite now i want to kill ppl...) then you need to seek professional help immediately. Wanting to harm other people is exceptionally bad and you need to seek psychological treatment IMMEDIATELY.
Please, call up a doctor right now and make an appointment to talk with a therapist. Tell them exactly what you said here about wanting to hurt other people.
If these feelings are too strong please head directly to the nearest psychiatric ward and tell them you want to hurt other people. They can take you in for evaluation processing.
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We go to school and then work to improve our lives. The more knowledge we gain, the more we can share with others and grow into living better futures. If you did not work--what would you do with your time? If you did not ever go to school then how would you even know how to function at all?
We work hard to have a good life while we can. If we are giving life then why not take the opportunity to live it the best we can? Why not be comfortable and fulfilled? Why waste your life by sitting around and never striving for more?
People have children because they want to, usually. They want to raise another life. In this point in you life you should not have children. If you are wanting to hurt other people then you do not need to care for an infant. Nobody makes you have children. There is no rule that you must reproduce. Why this is a problem for you, I have no idea. Just don't have children if you don't want children.
You never asked to be born but you were given life. Life is a gift. It is an opportunity to do something. It gives us the ability to help and change the world. It allows us to become something. We can be useful to others. Every thing you do impacts other people.
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Seek psychological help immediately.
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so im trying to come up with some creative fantasy football names, can you give me any examples. ive seen the ones people use before and they have never been creative. last year mine was the pink panthers (my ex gfs idea). :) so if you have any ideas thatd be great.
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This is actually a pretty difficult one for me since I don't play much football and don't know much about the sport in general. There are lots of things to think about in regards to fantasy football names. If you take the word "football" in general you can think of some interesting themes to go along, which can be quite funny in some terms:
Fluffy Footballettes
Ferocious Footballers
Fearsome Feet
Football Fury
Freeloader Footballers
Football Field Fury
etc. etc. etc.
There are other things like "tackle" like:
Troublesome Tackle
Take-down Tacklers
The Tacklers
Tacklers-R-Us
Otherwise, I've found a few comical fantasy football names like:
No Punt Intended
Crack'a Tacklin'
Urine Trouble
Victorious Secret
The Cereal Killers
Multiple Scorgasms
Dixie Normous
Deep Throw It
Fourth Down Syndrome
For girls:
Dynamite Divas
Poppin' Princesses
For guys:
Hunky Heros
Hairless Headskins (for the baldies)
Some Classics:
The Goonies
Balsies
The 69ers
Masters of Mayhem
Enders in the Zone
Crabby Crusaders
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what is some good emo nicknames for the name Sasha? (link)
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Hi, Sasha:
I just answered your question you had sent to my inbox here on Advicenators. You had accidentally sent me the same question twice so I only answered one so that you didn't have to go back and forth for some good nickname ideas. I included a few unique names, I think, but I'm not sure which one you might like most. Think of actually being called these names by you friends or having your name on Facebook or Myspace as them before deciding. Here is the link to that other question (and my answer):
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=585413
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I want some ideas about some nicknames preferably emo nicknames for my name. my name is Sasha. (link)
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Slasher Sasha
Sasha Suicide
Psycho Sasha ("Syko" or "Sycho")
Screamo Sasha
Sliced Sasha
Shredded Sasha
Slicer Sasha
Cyanide Sasha ("Syanide" or "Syinide")
Snide Sasha
Sasha Serpent
Slayer Sasha / Sasha Slayer
Sasha Sword
Scolded Sasha
Sasha Scare
Savage Sasha
Sasha Scythe
Senile Sasha
Severed Sasha
Severe Sasha
Schizophrenic Sasha ("Skitzo" Sasha)
Serial Sasha
Sasha Skull
Sinfully Sasha
Sasha Syringe
For more of a scene nickname you might want to think about something like:
Simply Sasha (Sasha Simplicity)
Saturday Sasha / Sasha Saturday
Scatter-brained Sasha
Scenario Sasha
Sasha Seahorse
Sasha Seduction
Self-Sasha (like: self-confidence, self-esteem, self-image, self-importance, etc.)
Sheriff Sasha
Super Sasha
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How long does it take for an STD to show up on a test (link)
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As little as a week until as long as 10 years.
Most incubation periods are only a few weeks to a month. Herpes, for example, may show signs and symptoms of transmission after only 7 days after the infection.
However, more serious diseases, such as HIV and AIDS, have taken as long as 10 years to show up positive on a blood STD test.
It's always best to get yourself tested every 6 months no matter what. Most people do not change partners more than once every 6 months so it can help you to stay on top of your own health. For reasons in relation to AIDS contamination you will want to have blood-work done every 6 months for at least 10 years to make sure you don't develop the antibodies later on after infection. It's rare but does occur.
Take your health serious. One STD test is never enough. Protect yourself from disease in every way possible. Condoms and other contraceptive method simply do not make you "safe" from disease. Nothing is safe so make sure you use your head always get tested.
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I found this online thing where you can post ads for what you'll do for $5. I am totally down for that because I NEED MORE MONEY. I think I can do a lot of things on the Fiverr site thing but I'm afraid it's a scam and they'll like take money from me or not pay me right or something. Is Fiverr a scam or no? I only wanna do safe online work where i will really get paid. it's just www.fiverr.com (link)
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I recently used Fiverr to do some work myself. I did 15 minutes of any audio transcription for $5. The truth is that Fiverr is NOT a scam and they're not going to ask money from you but they do request a small percentage of your $5 profit.
Fiverr has to cover the costs of PayPal (how you'll get paid through Fiverr) so they do take $1 of your earnings. That isn't too big of a deal, depending on what you are doing for the $5 to begin with really. Just think of it was Fourr instead ;) You really get only $4 for whatever it is that you choose to do for others.
Other than that, it costs nothing to open your account or post your ads. As long as your postings are not adult-theme (sexual) you are pretty much good to go. Everything is so instant that you could, literally, begin work 5 minutes after signing-up and posting your information.
You have to complete the job tasks at a set-time though; however, you choose the time range. If you don't complete a task then you aren't paid--but they're not going to take money from you.
Go for it. :)
And, plus, there are LOTS to buy on there if you check it out. Look through some listings before posting because they will give you WONDERFUL ideas on what sells and what just doesn't. The more active gigs you have available, the more chances you have at landing work.
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how do i know if i can be pregnant does popping ur cherry make u bleed? (link)
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If you have ever menstruated (had your period) then you are probably a fertile woman.
When you have your period it means that your body has released an egg to become fertilized by a man's sperm. When your period comes it means you did not get pregnant.
If you have not had your period ever then it's entirely too unpredictable to tell you if you can get pregnant.
Pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with your cherry (really called a hymen). It's even possible to get pregnant without breaking (or "popping") your hymen. Many women DO bleed when the hymen is torn BUT it has absolutely nothing to do with getting pregnant. It isn't even the same place where your period comes from.
Engaging in sexual play usually makes you at risk to get pregnant. If you aren't sexually active then you probably won't be getting pregnant any time soon.
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i got my wisdom teeth out on monday the 23 and i got my stiches out yesterday the 30th. is it okay if i can smoke weed now? does anyone know because i heard you cant after you get your wisdom teeth out because of blood clots? (link)
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You should refrain from smoking anything for at least 4 more weeks to allow your body to heal fully. Oxygen depletion in the bloodstream occurs when inhaling smoke. This causes you body to slow the healing process, build up heavier amounts of scar tissue, and makes you more susceptible to infections. Blood clots are probably not as a severe risk now since you've already had stitches removed and should be healed enough to not have settling blood in the area as much now.
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I'm on anxiety/depression meds which I take on a regular basis. I recently cut my wrist with horizontal cuts. I'm at an indecision in my life and see the only way is to commit suicide and not live in what the terrible society is coming to be. suggestions? (link)
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Don't do it.
If you're taking anxiety and depression medications then you should be seeing a therapist. You should always be open and honest to your therapist. If you are suicidal then it's time to speak up and say so in your sessions. It's important so that they can help you overcome these hurdles.
There's more to life than what the media brings. You and I both know that. Society has become a terrible thing. We're obsessed with sex, violence, and stupid humor. For the most part, the society is careless for others.
The truth is that people exist that do still care. I care. I don't even know you and I would cry if I found out you committed suicide. I don't believe anyone should have to resort to such things to get out of a bad situation.
Cutting is caused by one of two things. One is that you you need to release bottled up feelings and emotions and have found found an acceptable form for you. Even animals do this. The second is a cry out for attention. Even the people who cut themselves for only attention purposes are screaming help--even if we don't think so. They need just as much help as a person who cuts themselves to release does.
My suggestion here is this:
Talk with your therapist. Be honest and open about your suicidal thoughts and self-harm.
Make a better society. You obviously care about others. You do or you wouldn't notice how terrible society has become. You are the type of person we need to turn this thing around. If everyone who disliked where society has taken them committed suicide then there would be nobody to stop it from getting worse. There would be nobody to stand up and say, "Something is not right here!"
I'm listening.
Others are listening.
Your steps are to do what you think society needs to improve. It encourages people around you. It builds self-confidence and self-esteem. You finally "find your place" in the world.
Volunteer your time. There are SO many organizations today that are lacking volunteers. They are having a hard time doing basic things like feeding the elderly or even passing out blankets to homeless shelters. You are needed. You are wanted and desired.
Take this opportunity for change. If nothing comes of it then you didn't waste anything. Dying will be a cease of existence so what does it matter if you extend this and live for another year to see what would happen if you spend time volunteering to others? There is nothing to lose.
Pick up your phone book. Search the internet. Make a date once every week for awhile to go somewhere and volunteer your time. Soup kitchens, homeless shelters, battered women and children homes, elderly centers, cancer hospitals, and even libraries need people to just sit down and help. Sometimes all you need to do is talk with somebody for a few minutes and you can make things better for them.
You don't have anything to lose here. You might as well try to do something, right? Give yourself a year and see where you stand. Make an effort to volunteer at an organization or two once every week. Make it priority. If you feel you don't have anything to live for then live for this for just a year and then see where you stand.
You'll find your place in the world. You'll meet interesting fellows and friends. Your life will improve. Things will be quite different.
It did for me.
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Turning 16 In September(: / Female
ohkay so ivee been feeling likee my harmonees hvee been goingg crazyy to feel whaat its likee to have sex. I have a boyfriend who ifeel really comfortable whidd andd can picturee myself loosing it too . Buh im really self consious about my bodyy , dahts whaat stopps me from actually being sexually active whidd someeone, ifeel likee my blubber looks sooo disgustingg when im nakeed! Im 5'2 andd weight about 138 . Whaat shouldd i do? (link)
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Sex isn't just picturing yourself doing it with a particular person. That isn't what sex is about at all. It isn't a reason to have sex.
Sex comes with a lot of things.
Sex makes babies. That's what it's whole purpose is. Sex wasn't meant to just be fun. It is part of creation. It is part of reproduction.
Accidents will happen.
No matter if you wear a condom and use hormonal birth control pills.
Accidents happen.
If you can picture this and be fine then maybe it's time, but having the doubt in the first place is a huge sign that you are not ready:
You have sex with your guy. Two months down the road you realize you're pregnant.
What will you do? Will you be mature and discuss this with your partner? Will he be supportive of the decisions you both agree to? Will he run and hide out of fear? Will you panic?
If you decide to keep the baby then what if you find out, in the later portion of pregnancy, that something is wrong with it? What if the doctor runs the usual tests and comes back to you and says, "Well...something isn't quite right. We're looking over some bloodwork and we're pretty sure your baby will have downsyndrome..."
Will you be able to cope? Can you deal with that? Will you change your mind about everything and put it up for adoption all of a sudden? Will your partner be mature enough to talk with you about this and help you two together come to an adult decision?
Your body has nothing to do with if you're ready for sex. You can be 6'3" and 200lbs and not be ready for sex. You can be the most comfortable person in their skin and not be ready for sex. You don't judge yourself when it's time to have sex based on what you feel about yourself. Sex isn't how you FEEL about you body. Sex is making babies. Flat-out. That's what happens. That's nature.
Your hormones might be going WILD--they do for everyone--but it doesn't mean you're ready to handle that responsibility. No 16 year old girl should have to go through an abortion. No 16 year old girl should have to give birth to a deformed baby. No 16 year old girl should have to set-up an adoption for their infant. 16 is for going out to movies and pizza. 16 is for hanging out with you best buds and checking out hot guys. 16 is for enjoying life. Not being stressed out and worried over something so huge.
Sex is for reproduction. It is. Honestly. It feels good. It does. Honestly. The truth is, there is no way to stop your body from doing what it was naturally meant to do. Hormonal birth control is only about 93% effective on preventing pregnancy in the real world. Condoms are only about 88% on preventing pregnancy in the real world. These methods fail. Accidents happen. They always do. Nobody EVER thinks, "Gee, I know the condom is going to burst tonight so I better use some spermicidal lube, the pull out method, and take my birth control pill on time!" It happens, literally, in the blink of an eye.
I know more than one person who got pregnant their first time having sex.
My cousin is one of these people. Her boyfriend was told he would NEVER reproduce because of a childhood injury. The doctors told him over and over again that he would never have a baby in his life. My cousin had a head injury when she was a child and the doctor's told her it injured the pituitary gland that she would probably have a lot of hormonal problems growing up that would prevent her from having a baby without something like invitro-fertilization. They got together one night, had sex (with a condom, just for note), and the next month she found out she was pregnant. It looked literally impossible for her to have gotten pregnant but it's true. The odds were WAY against her getting pregnant. Accidents happen.
And I haven't even touched base that NO birth control method--condoms, spermicidal lubes, birth control pills, etc--protect you against STDs. Just for an important note: virgins can have STDs, too, and not even know it! I wish I was kidding!
Now, I am not picking on you by any means but you need to look at yourself. "Harmonees" is a ridiculous way to spell "hormones" and you and I both know that. You purposely typed things like "body" and "crazy" with two "y" letters because you think it's cute. That's fine. It really is. If you think that's cute then fine.
Do you think a mother would do that though?
Do you think someone who is ready to have a baby would type that way?
What about a doctor...do you think a doctor, a grown-up person, would type that way?
It's cute. Yes. It makes you look very immature though. It makes you look, quite frankly, like a child. Being cute is something a child wants. An adult wants to look mature. They want to come off as professional and educated.
Do you think you look professional and educated?
What I'm saying is this:
Adults can deal with babies. They can deal with the consequences of reproduction better. They are more equipped to handle accidents.
Children, preteens, teens, and young adults aren't. You just aren't. You don't have that life experience yet. You haven't been throw curveballs yet. Hell, you haven't even had a chance to live yet!
Nix the idea of sex.
Sex can wait.
Your hormones will calm down as you mature. You'll see.
In a year or two you won't even be the same person who wrote this question. You'll look back and be absolutely embarrassed that you wrote this here. You'll be ashamed of yourself. You'll be shocked.
You'll see.
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o.k. so i sometimes get razor burn a lot and a few weeks ago i got razor burn kind of on the outside of my vagina lips kind of in the crease of my leg. it started bothering me, as any razor burn does, and i scratched it so bad that it kind of scabbed up and turned into a sore. do you think it'll go away or should i go get tested or something cause its' really irritating me. i wouldn't think an std would be in the crease of my leg/vagina but who knows, right!
also..any ways to prevent razor burn or help it in my shaving technique..thank you so much. (link)
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Herpes, HPV, and a wide variety of other sexually transmitted diseases can appear on the outer areas of your genitals. Actually, things like HPV can even infect your vocal cords. Coldsores are herpes and appear on the lips and inside the nostrils. Some people have died from herpes (oral and genital) outbreaks that spread upwards into the brain. You can actually contract some illnesses on ANY part of you body. There are people alive right now with frequent herpes outbreaks on their elbow because somebody wiped their infected whatever against a small cut or scrape. STD doesn't necessarily mean INSIDE genitals.
The truth is if you've ever had any sort of sexual contact then it's worth going to the doctor. While you might think it's just an irritated razor burn it could turn out to be something very treatable if caught early enough.
I had a friend who had "razor burn" frequently. She figured it was normal and even asked her mother about it. They didn't worry about it. When she had her first pap smear the exam came back with an abnormal cell reading. Her mysterious razor burn turned out to be genital warts that would flare up moreso when she shaved. Go figure.
If you go to forums pertaining to herpes outbreaks you'll find that most of them experience "razor burn" type outbreaks along their genital regions. When they shave it can irritate the skin and spur a new outbreak on. A lot of them have scars from it, even. Some of them went years thinking it was just bad razor burn from new razors and the like--only later to find out they tested positive for genital herpes.
If you have any doubt in your mind then you definitely should see a doctor.
If it's nothing then it's no big deal. You'll know for next time.
If it's something you might thank your lucky stars you're catching this early enough for proper treatment.
I suggest making an appointment for something immediate. Many things require swabs of the actual sore or scab in testing for things like herpes. You could express your concerns about specific STD testing to the doctor so that he knows to make sure to list a test for something like "herpes" down on you chart. Many times doctor's look over testing for herpes because about 80% of the U.S. population is already infect. Ask your doctor to kindly test you. There is nothing to lose in this, really.
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22/f. Not that any of you can read my mind, but any kind of insight would be wonderful. I apologize for the length here, but I need help.
Okay.
When I was 18, my boyfriend at the time had just broken up with me. He had been emotionally abusive, and quite good at convincing me that I was unattractive. Even so, as the vicious cycle goes, I thought I loved him. So these friends of mine said, "You're hot, who cares what he says? Let's do a photoshoot and we'll show you, and you can show him what he's throwing away."
So we did. But, uh, it got carried away, pretty much, and turned kind of pornographic. Like, straight up shots of my *ahem*, and things...I didn't even remember it getting that carried away. I was depressed at the time, and I swear I wasn't even mentally present.
A couple of years later, I did yet ANOTHER nude shoot, modeling for a guy friend of mine. We did more artistic shots, but a couple of them were kinda raunchy. I thought I was doing him a favor, modeling for him so he could work on his portfolio, and I thought it'd be fun to see myself looking hot. It never occurred to me that he was just trying to see me naked, but that's what my current boyfriend says.
Now I'm 22, I've found the man with whom I envision myself having a future, and we're ridiculously happy and in love, but he is absolutely HORRIFIED and disgusted by these indiscretions. He finds them immoral, and he gets panicky when he thinks of my naked pictures being out there. I do, too, don't get me wrong...but the first pair of friends let me search every computer in their house (they're a couple; they live together) and delete ALL pictures of me. My guy was mad at me for not getting copies of them before I deleted them, because he wanted to know what he was dealing with...and he has a right to know, it's true. I just wanted them gone, you know? Even so, my guy's convinced they have copies of them hidden somewhere.
Anyway, I digress.
My boyfriend wants SO BADLY to understand what the hell I was thinking. Why the draw? Why did I want these people to see me naked? Why the hell did I let them KEEP the pictures? Why was I so open about my body and sexuality when I'm really very self-conscious and shy about it?
It drives him crazy to hear me say I don't know, but I really don't! I don't know why I did those things, and I hate myself for doing them. It's disgusting and slutty, and...just...UGH!!
Anyone have any ideas? ANY insight? Any thoughts? Comments? Something?
Thanks for your help...:'( (link)
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I think the real issue your boyfriend is having is that you cannot quite pinpoint WHY you did these things in the past. You explain some reasoning behind it yet when you are presented with the direct question of, "Why did you take the nude photos?" you cannot explain. This makes it seem like the things you said before presented with the direct question were just being said to get him "off you back" or "out of your hair" about the incident.
The truth is, you know, I know, and he knows that taking erotic photos with friends because you're feeling low is not normal. It isn't healthy. It's, to say the least, self-destructive.
He wants to know why. Guys grow up learning a different pattern of thought than women. We're told to hug and cuddle baby dolls--and that feelings and emotions are the most important things about a person. Men aren't quite taught that sort of thing. They're handed G.I. Joes and told that being muscular and brave makes a man a man and are the most important things.
He doesn't "get" what pushed you to do the photo-shoots when you are claiming it was emotional distress. What makes the situation worse is that you didn't just do it once. You did it twice. The second time is blatantly obvious to any outsider that the guy just wanted to get in your pants and check you out. I know how it is to be naive. It just doesn't seem like someone who has been sexually involved in these sorts of photos would think, "Oh! He just wants some good photos! That's all!" I mean, once you do the nasty on camera then when somebody whips out of camera it isn't like you never thought of showing your naughty bits. I hope that makes sense.
Nobody takes a nude photo set for no reason. You don't just buy a digital camera and go at it to trash the photos or store them for some odd rainy day. You usually have a plan behind them.
The first time you have no idea what the plan was. Apparently, from what you say, the initial plan was to give them to your ex-boyfriend to throw your body in his face as a sort-of, "You won't get better than this!" attitude. When that passed the people who took the photos probably had more intention since they kept them. People can sell these things on the internet. I know a guy who actually sold a few photos of herself for quick cash before. People usually do these things to make money. Not to just keep them around.
The second time you were under the impression that your body was a work of art and that this guy was going to do something great with the photos. Be realistic here. We aren't living in fantasy land. You know guys are guys and that they typically think with their pensis. It's OK to say, "I thought it would be fun to get naked for the camera again. It made me feel attractive again." I mean absolutely disrespect but what you say about this particular incident sounds like a load of bull. In any way, you knew the photos were going to be used in some fashion. Who knows if the boy really did put them in his portfolio (which, by the way, is the one of the oldest "lines in the book" when trying to bang a lady-friend). It's kind-of too late to worry about it.
So, your current boyfriend finds out that you showed you goods on camera twice. You can't really explain why. You can't pinpoint your reasoning. "I didn't feel good about myself so I got naked and had sex on camera," just doesn't sound sane, to be quite honest. He's hoping you're sane. He's going, "Please, God, say you had a good reason for this!" He wants to understand so he knows if this sort of mess is going to happen in the future. If you cannot explain your past then how will you ever be able to have a stable future? They say you learn from the past--how can you learn if you have absolutely no idea what drives you to do the things you do?
Your boyfriend isn't being an ass.
He's worried. He wants to know YOU. He wants to know what makes you tick. He wants to know what drives you. He thought he knew and then you threw these naked shots in his face with a, "Whoops! Lapse of sanity!"
Sit down and discuss it with him. Try to figure out what made the photo-shoots so appealing BOTH times. Explain how you felt. Explain what was going through your mind. Explain what was fascinating about the shots, the camera being directed at you, or your friends being so interested in your naked body.
Then, apologize. Explain that you cannot believe you let it happen twice but now that you've figured out what caused the whole mess then you know not to get into that sort of predicament again. There are better ways to handle break-ups. You are smarter than to believe a young photographer just wants some good shots and that you're the only woman on the planet that can give him those.
Then give this time to heal over. Talk with him until all of his questions are answered and you've found the real reasons behind your actions. Let him think things over.
If I found out that my partner had taken a sexual photo-shoot I would be pretty upset, especially if he had given all of the photos of a friend for keeping and deleted them, randomly, when I found out. I would be mortified to find out that he did it twice--and for an even dumber reason the second time.
Take a good, long look at your past. Think about you history. Think about how you feel and how you've felt about your body. Think about why you found taking nude photos of yourself to be truly appealing. If you come up with the, "I felt bad about myself and wanted to rub my body in my ex's face!" again then something is wrong. I don't think the average female takes pornographic shots of herself during an emotional break-down without any sort of thought process to it to drive her. Then, if you claim it was all part of some huge emotional break-down then explaining the second time is going to be even tougher. It's pretty hard to say, "I was really dumb and had no idea he had a penis!"
Your guy just wants to know why.
Try to figure it out and work with him on this. In time he will heal. I'm sure it's just a big shock factor for him.
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What are some NON-HORMONAL methods of birth control that can be used along with male latex condoms?
I'm on a hormonal birth control now, which I'm not liking too much (been on a few different pills over the past three years). I need something that's still has a pretty good efficacy rate in case something goes wrong with the condom.
19/F (link)
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There are not as many non-hormonal birth control methods as you'd think, really. There are some though:
The sponge ("The Today Sponge") - Basically just what it says. It's a small sponge-like thing that is filled with spermicidal gel. You insert it into the vagina and during intercourse the male will ejaculate onto it. The sperm will land onto the sperm and mostly die from the spermicidal gel within it. It's about 84% effective in the real-world. You can put this into your vagina up to 24 hours before you have sex and still be protected.
Female condoms (not with male condoms) - A female condom is a polyurethane, tubular device that is placed within the vagina. A ring helps to hold it to the cervix and another stays at the opening of the vagina. This can be placed inside the vagina up to 8 hours before engaging in intercourse.
Diaphragm (not with male condoms despite what they may claim) - Diaphragms are a rubbery thing you place into your vagina and over your cervix. You fill the indent with spermicidal lubricant. The reason you cannot use this with a male condoms is that if your partner is lengthy the condom may cause friction against the diaphragm and tear. Can be put in up to 3 hours before intercourse but must be left in for 8 full hours after.
Cervical cap (not with male condoms) - It's basically a smaller version of the diaphragm. It requires less spermicidal lubricant and can be placed within the vagina for up to 6 hours before intercourse.
Lea's Shield (not with a male condom) - This is very similar to the cervical cap and diaphragm. It's made of silicon and suctions to the cervix to create a barrier. The way it is created it allows cervical mucus to come out of the vagina but nothing to come inside of the cervix. You place the spermicidal lubricant into the cup area. You wear it for up to 48 hours before intercourse if desired but must absolutely wear it for 8 hours after.
Spermicidal lubes/foams/films - These are basically toxic substances to sperm. Some condoms are "laced" with them. You can buy them in a variety form (lubricant, foam, film, and even gel). The sperm mostly die when they come in contact with it. It's best used with a condom and can increase a condom's effectiveness but is not the best method to use alone.
IUD - The user below is slightly wrong. An IUD did not just plug into your tubes and doctor's don't like to insert these into young women who have never had children because there is a chance of creating infertility. Some IUDs do release hormones also. An IUD is inserted into the bottom of the uterus where the cervix is. It looks like a "T" shape. When a woman gets pregnant and the sac fills with fluid the top parts of the "T" will burst the sac before the baby can continue to form and grow. Sad but true.
Fertility Awareness - This requires A LOT of maintenance and you REALLY have to know your stuff to pull this one off. Basically you track your cycles through charts, temperature, cervical positioning, and cervical mucus every single day. After 6 to 8 months you'll get a decent idea of exactly when you are ovulating. Since sperm can live within the human body for about 7 days on average you refrain from intercourse for 1 and 1/2 week before your predicted ovulation date and 1 week after your predicted ovulation date. It's trick. It's limiting. If you forget to do it one day then you pretty much need to start all over.
Pull-out - Believe or not, this is considered a form of "non-hormonal birth control" so I'll touch on it. Your partner pulls out of you right before he ejaculates. It isn't very effective in real life. While a full ejaculation can contain as many as 100 million sperm at a time, the sperm count within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million. It takes one to get your pregnant.
Tubal ligation - This is also referred to as getting your tubes tied. Most doctors would prefer to not do this with younger women, especially those who have not had children yet. They basically separate the fallopian tubes so that eggs cannot make their way down to the uterus for fertilization. This is considered to be a permanent operation. Believe it or not, this sort of "sterilization" is not even 100% effective either. There is about a 5% failure rate for the first 10 years after having it done. To me, that sounds like until you hit menopause for most women.
Essure Sterilization - Similar to tubal ligation in a sense. Rings are placed tightly onto the tubes. The woman's own flesh grows scar tissue around it so that the tubes are sealed shut, disallowing any sperm or egg from ever meeting. It is also not 100% effective, of course, and is not reversible.
There are also the vasectomy (male sterilization) methods and a full hysterectomy (which a doctor just won't do for no real cause). A vasectomy can be reversed in most cases but is not 100% effective on preventing pregnancies either. Speak with your doctor if you and your partner are interested.
The human body was meant to reproduce and that's what it really strives to do when engaging in sexual intercourse. It's what we are suppose to do. It's what the body wants to do. There is no 100% fool-proof method so research carefully before taking the plunge and changing things up. You should always--ALWAYS--be prepared for an "accident" to happen. It's a part of nature, being human, and life.
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I've been with my boyfriend for five years. Last year we broke up but then got back together 5 months later. We've almost been back together for a year. We broke up becos I felt unappreciated, there was no romance, and it got so boring that I was going crazy. It's actually worse since we've gotten back together. There's never any thank yous or appreciation shown when I do things for him. He helps me out financially so I feel indebted to him. I'm afraid of making the wrong decision if I leave. Where do you draw the line? (link)
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Well, if you're not going to have an adult discussion to express your true feelings towards the lack of "spark" in this relationship then you need to get out now. Sitting down and talking things out is a rational way to handle this situation. He can't read minds and you can't convey your message to him about being under appreciated if you never tell him there is a problem or how to fix it for optimal happiness.
This is a part of any long-term relationship. It's referred to as the comfort factor. He's become comfortable with you. You're basically a part of himself. Does he thank himself for going grocery shopping? Nope, but it doesn't mean he doesn't like or appreciate it. He just kind-of forgets that it's important to say, "Hey...thanks for that...really."
You're doing him a favor by leaving if you haven't sat down and talked with him yet and are debating on just up and leaving. Adults sit down and say, "I am not happy. I wish you would do x, y, and z. THAT would make me happy. Can we please work something out here so I feel better? I love you but I'm becoming very unhappy with this current situation. I NEED x, y, and z to happen or this cannot last any longer." Adults don't just get up and walk out one day because they never chose to express their deepest desires to their partner.
You can either be an adult and try to salvage the relationship by talking with him like an adult.
Or
You can leave and spare him the heartache when you finally blow up and freak out on him from bottling all of this stuff up inside of you. Bottling stuff up doesn't get you anywhere.
The choice is yours.
Save it or don't. It can only go two ways from here. It's completely your decision. If you want to make it work then you have to talk to him. Sometimes it takes more than one talking to to get your point across and your thoughts clearly expressed.
As a late note: If you never express your dislike about something then how will he ever know? How will he ever stand a chance at pleasing you? You can't really just say, "I feel like you don't appreciate me!" because it doesn't REALLY get your message across. What doesn't he appreciate, specifically? What can he do to make it better? He can't read minds. He doesn't think exactly like you. You have to clear, specific, and willing to have a little "give" in YOUR wants. Think about it.
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What is the FULL name of the guy at 2:06? And more pictures, if possible?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkjljBNTLs4 (link)
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Believe it or not, the big deal with Yolanda Be Cool is anonymity. The photos released by these performers are usually of them covering their faces. It's their draw. It's part of the charm.
Now, I looked online for some time and I am figuring that their real names are Sylvester Martinez and Johnson Peterson.
It's quite hilarious because when you Google, "Sylvester Martinez and Johnson Peterson," you wind up looking at photos of them covering their faces.
In this particular video, We No Speak Americano (wrongly known also as "Papa Americano"), they are featured with DCUP, or Duncan Maclennan.
The guy you are specifically talking about is either Sylvester Martinez and Johnson Peterson, I believe. It's kind of difficult to figure out which one it might be though, seeing as all of their photo-shoots involve them covering their faces with their hands or vinyl records.
In other words: your guess is as good as mine! ;)
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How many times a day must you poo (link)
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You should be having one full bowel movement at least once a day for optimal health. If you are not then you should look at your lifestyle and try to make appropriate changes in regards to weight, exercise, water intake, and eating habits (incorporate more fibrous fruits and vegetables).
If you have more bowel movements a day than one then it is nothing serious or problematic. A healthy human will use the toilet at least once a day, but up to 5 can be quite normal and healthy. If you are experiencing painful bowel movements then you should talk with your health care provider.
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ok so, my entire vagina has been super sore and like stinging. inside and out. i've never had sex before so im pretty sure it's not an STD. it started about 2 days after my period and im still on my period right now. it almost feels like it might be swollen. and im also having MAXIMUM discharge. it's about 10x more than I normally have on a daily basis. It's really disgusting. Basically what I want to know is what this is, why it's happening, and how I can prevent it or stop it. (link)
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This very well could be a yeast infection and you can very well get treatment over the counter at any pharmacy BUT the same symptoms of a yeast infection are those of a bacterial infection.
A yeast infection won't hurt you. It's just uncomfortable.
A bacterial infection can leave you with a life-long painful disease (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) and/or infertile.
There are NO over-the-counter treatments available for bacterial infections.
You can get either of these from nearly anything--from washing too much down there to wearing thongs or tight jeans.
Talk with your mother immediately and have her schedule you an appointment with your doctor. You need this checked out as soon as possible so that you can get the right treatment quickly. The longer you wait with a bacterial infection, the higher risk you are that it will become a lot more serious. The longer you wait for a yeast infection, the more irritated you're probably going to be.
Tell your mother and express your deep concerns over it. Ask her kindly to make a doctor's appointment for you. The doctor may or may not examine the area based on what you describe to him/her. If they do, they will probably just take a very small swab of the vagina and run it through for testing to make sure the symptoms are this or that so they can prescribe you the right treatment.
When your body is uncomfortable, swollen, or painful then it's trying to tell you that something is NOT right. It's screaming this message at you--now it's time for you to take action and try to get this solved quickly.
See your doctor.
Nothing you do at home will fix it like you're hoping. A yeast infection that is not treated properly will just keep coming back over and over. I won't go into detail about the long-term negative effects a bacterial infection will have on your body is not treated.
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sooo.....in the back of my vagina maybe 4 inches is this sort of end thing. i asked my friend whose sexually active if this was my hymen and she told me it's my vaginal wall. i am a virigin and when i push on this it kind of hurts. is this my vaginal wall or my hymen? i want to know!! (link)
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Your hymen is actually at the entrance to your vagina. Not "inside" of the vagina.
What you are feeling is likely your cervix.
Your cervix moves in positions during various things. Sometimes allows the vagina to elongate to accommodate a penis comfortable. Sometimes it's lower in the canal.
The cervix is right at the entrance to your uterus. The cervix helps to protect foreign things from making it into the womb. There is a small hole in it that allows menstrual fluid in and after intercourse the cervix will push itself into the seminal fluid (cum) to help the sperm get into the womb to fertilize an egg.
The cervix is usually a pretty tend, sensitive thing for most women. This is why a lot of women feel uncomfortable during their annual pap smear--because the doctor is taking cells from the cervix to test for things like cancer.
When you have sex your partner will probably not touch your cervix. It will slide back upward so that the vaginal canal elongates. Some men who are much larger (long) than average may hit the cervix during intercourse but it isn't too common of a problem with most men and women. Even if the penis hit on the cervix it wouldn't cause much of a problem at all. The cervix would just push back a little. The hole in it wouldn't allow even a very small penis to penetrate it so it isn't like it would be dangerous. Maybe a little uncomfortable.
You're perfectly normal and should not be concerned over this fleshy bit inside of you. Every normal, healthy woman has one.
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I'm 20/f, dating a 20/m.
My boyfriend is 6'2" tall, and he's about 210 pounds, which I think is pretty normal. I've never thought he was chubby or even "teddy bear" sized, just that he wasn't exactly thin or scrawny. I know he was a lot heavier when he was younger, but by the time I met him he'd worked a lot of the weight off, so his weight looks to be about average.
Suddenly, in the past two months, he's started talking about how much he HATES the way he looks, how he "better get used to not liking who he is", and how he's upset because "he'll never get to where he wants to be", physically speaking. He joined a gym (I joined with him, because I want to start eating better and excercising), but he's constantly talking about calories and pounds lost ALL THE TIME.
In the one month that we've been going to the gym, he's stopped eating all junk food and candy, and has stopped drinking EVERYTHING except water and skim milk. He's lost almost 20 pounds in the last month, and he's still saying he hates how he looks.
I tell him I love his body and that I'm really attracted to him physically (it's true), but he brushes me off. He calls himself chubby and fat and he gets so upset that he won't even talk to me about it. It's like he refuses to believe me.
Tonight he said he wasn't leaving the gym until he burned 1000 calories, and he keeps saying things like "i'm just going through things" and "I didn't know this would be so hard". I'm REALLY scared.
What can I do? I'm crying just because I'm so scared and worried about his health, safety, and happiness. PLEASE HELP my boyfriend :( (link)
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I usually don't answer questions like these but I've seen the end result of this if it is, indeed, a problem.
Guys can have eating disorders, too.
Guys have have self-image distortions.
Guys can have major mental problems that are, for some reason, only publicly talked about in regards to females. Because of this, it can be quite embarrassing for a guy to seek help or treatment for his body image.
I knew this guy in high school. He was overweight but he wasn't HUGE. He didn't fit in with the jocks and muscular-type guys at school but he was liked. It hurt his feelings to be joked about in the locker room while they were changing after football practice. The boys didn't mean any harm. They were just playing around with him. It still changed him.
He started doing the same thing you're describing. He began to obsess over calories and working out. Before we knew it, he had restricted his food intake pretty severely. He dropped a good 100lbs before the end of school. He was sickly looking. How he starved himself away like that...man...
But...he was a guy. What do you say? Gee, I think you might have an eating disorder here, dude. No, you say, "You've lost a lost of weight. Good job." Nobody did anything about it--but how many times do you suspect a guy has an eating disorder or problems with what he sees in the mirror? Then he started passing out. The passing out and blackouts got to be pretty bad and they wouldn't allow him to play sports any more because of it. Nobody knew he had done such bad things to his body though.
When he passed out standing up from his bed in front of his brother they took him to the ER. He confessed he hadn't eaten in days so that he could lose weight.
This problem is like any other self-image problem. This is like any other eating disorder. Nothing you say is going to fix this. He needs more help than you can offer. He needs to see a therapist on a regular basis to talk about his body image and what has caused these mental problems lately.
Eating disorders can be spurred by many things. Sometimes it's things you don't even think about as causing a problem with self-image. It could be a lot of stress at school or at home. It could be the death of a loved one (even a beloved pet). It could be new experiences and feeling overwhelmed. It could be comments from other people. It could be past memories brought up recently through anything (innocent conversation or a dream, perhaps). It could be so many things that he might not even be aware of it either.
Try to talk with your partner about this first. Express your concerns. Tell him you feel what he is doing might be unhealthy. Tell him EXACTLY what you think is unhealthy about it.
You should talk with his parents about this problem and express your concerns for his health and overall well-being. Encourage them to encourage him to seek professional guidance and help if it's a problem.
For a last note, only drinking water in regards to fluids is a pretty darn great thing. The major thing that signaled me off to "eating disorder" is the fact that he has a specific goal to burn a very high number of calories at one particular time. It is realistic to say, "I am going to work out for 1 hour," but it is NOT realistic to say, "I am going to work out until I burn 1,000 calories." It can be pretty hard to measure "burning 1,000 calories" so it's very easy to go overboard and get carried away. Dieting (eating healthy) and exercise can be great things to improve your health but when you go overboard like he is then it begins to teeter into the danger territory. It is possible that he wasn't really serious or didn't realize what he was saying when he said that though. It could also be that he thinks 1,000 is burned in 1,000 seconds or something. You have to talk to him first.
Talk to him first and see if you can figure out if this is really an issue or not. Maybe he is just trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. Cutting out sweets and sodas isn't bad at all. Going to the gym is great. He needs to stay balanced though. Get plenty of fruits, vegetables, water, and exercise.
In the end, if it's bad, then talk with his parents. Talk with your parents. Encourage everyone that he needs to get help. Express your concerns and pray that he goes into therapy to get these things off of his shoulders. Without the help of outsiders in this situation you are probably going to "fail" at getting him well. This is a problem beyond you. Please, help him get help today by reaching out for him.
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