ask Peeps



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.

I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde

So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.

I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.

I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1512
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 102913


Favorite Columnists
DangerNerd
karenR
russianspy1234
GilbertMar
ThirdQED
mikesadvice
Eldritch
my2cents
what do you think autisim really is please be polite (link)
There are many people that are autistic and you must go case by case. Some are very, very high functioning autistics and some aren't. To help you out some, here is the DSM-IV, or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, criteria (this is what psychologists use to diagnose autism):

http://ani.autistics.org/dsm4-autism.html

It clearly states there that they must meet so many criteria from each section. So, just because someone meets, say, 3 criteria in the entire list it does not mean they're autistic. Anyway, that may help if you're wanting to know how doctors and such classify a person as autistic.

In addition, the Autism Society of America estimates that nearly 600,000 adults are living with autism in just the United States. It seems like more and more people are being diagnosed with autism as years go by so it's predicted that the number will continue increasing.

It's been suggested that autistic people are more intelligent than the average person. They find more interest in their own minds rather than the interaction of other people. They simply do not need others to interact with like other people do. This is why many of them never bother learning to speak--it isn't that their brain isn't capable, it is that they find no need for such things.

Many autistic people have one or two things they really get into for some reason. Computers seem to be common and so is running water. I've seen autistics stand completely still, seemingly memorized by a faucet running cool water. I've also heard about autistics that were highly intelligent when it came to computers and could even communicate clearly by typing the English language.

I have a cousin that is autistic. He knows the English language, and this is proven by him being able to do his homework. He is able to read and write though he really doesn't like to unless it's about certain subjects (Ray Stevens or Will Smith actually). He enjoys silly music but will repeatedly listen to the songs over and over. He really enjoys playing on the computer and will spend hours going through folders and searching for things (again, what he's interested in). He has never learned to speak but it's been proven that he can. He has said, "Mom, Mommy, Dad, No, Please, I love you," to a few family members here and there.

He is much different than another autistic woman I saw on CNN. The woman was able to attend college courses and communicate by typing out her words. She also got lost in watching water and was completely aware she did. She did not verbally express thoughts like we do though. The woman's name is Amanda Baggs, I believe, so you may be able to find some more information on the internet about her.

I hope you find out more about autism and what you're really looking for about it.


Where do I buy a piercing gun I am from North Carolina (link)
I want to note that if you purchase a piercing gun you should be aware of the damage it can do to fresh piercings. I must assume you're not a professional or you would be well aware of the many different catalogs you could purchase the equipment from.

The modern piercing gun cannot be 100% sanitized because it cannot be autoclaved. There are parts that the piercer cannot reach entirely to clean with alcohol even. This means bits of other flesh (even if it's your own, it's sat there for a little while and grown bacteria) will be jammed into the fresh wound.

If the gun is used on other people than yourself then you're subject to contracting Hepatitis or even HIV from it.

Also, the piercing gun does damage to the surrounding tissue of the puncture wound. They can cause excess scar tissue. This is because it punctures your body by blunt force instead of a sharp, clean, swift motion of a needle. This trauma to your flesh can cause more soreness and makes it more prone to infection.

Even a simple infection can leave your body deformed. You may have to see a doctor multiple times and may end up having the piercing lanced if a pocket of infection grows.

If you do happen to find a modern gun that is disposable, you must take into consideration the process it went through to get to you. The packaging is unlikely to be sanitary. The hands that it passed through on the assembly line were probably not cleansed let alone be 100% sanitized.

Also, the gun cannot give you a correct puncture area. Because you cannot see exactly where the "needle" will hit because of the material in the way. It is also a lot easier to slip while trying to pierce with the gun. Think about the popular piercings people have today and then about how they'd look if they were off-center and crooked.

An autoclaved, sterile needle is much better than the gun. It also doesn't hurt any more or less than the gun and doesn't leave you with that throbbing, uncomfortable feeling for day. There is less swelling and less scar tissue so the wound heals faster.

I do hope you give up your search for a piercing gun. I hope you do not plan on piercing yourself and seek a professional to assist you.


I got my Cartilage peirced at piercing pagoda in Florida in july 2007. I have tryed to take it out multiple times to change it but it closes up in a few seconds. The earing i was given was big and bulky and gave me a puss pocket on the back of my ear everyone that has had there ear pierced said that they got one but it went away. My has not went iaway it is now February 2008. My ear has so much throbbing I try not to sleep on it but it is hard and i usually end up doing it anyways. SHould i pop the puss pocket? Take out my earring and let it close? Please help i don't know what to do. I payed 40$ to get it done but if its infected thats 40$ wasted. (link)
First off, I want to note that it is really unsafe to be pierced with the gun. The piercing gun cannot be 100% sanitized. That means, bits of other people are still left in areas that the piercer could not properly cleanse with alcohol.
These bits will be punctured into your fresh piercing.

You CAN get and/or spread a serious infection including HIV. Remember, the gun cannot be sterilized completely no matter what the piercer does.

Infections caused by bacteria getting into the puncture of the piercing may also happen later, even after the piercing has healed up. This is common from being pierced by the gun.

Just as a future note for you: The needle is much safer and cleaner though. It doesn't cost any more to get pierced with a needle and healing time is actually quicker because there is a lot less damage done to the area.

You need to see your local piercer and possibly your doctor about your piercing. Even though your local piercer did not do the work, he or she may be able to give you good advice on how to help the infected area.

You'll, most likely, need a good antibiotic from your doctor to get rid of the infection though. If you decide not to see your local piercer, then please make an appointment to see your doctor.

If you remove the stud and leave it out to let it grow up then you'll have a pocket of infection in your ear. The infection will probably continue to grow and may need to be lanced by a doctor then.

You should never remove an unhealed or infected piercing. It is easy for bacteria to get caught in the wound and be healed up inside where it can grow and harm you. Your piercing is definately not healed well enough to remove it unless otherwise directed by a doctor.

If that isn't bad enough, since it's a cartilage piercing your ear may collapse, especially if the pocket of infection on your ear decides to start growing or needs to be lanced. If that were to happen, you may need an implant to give shape back to your ear.

Please remember to NEVER use alcohol or peroxide to clean the area. Both of these will dry out your skin and kill off some of the good cells that are trying to clear the infection from the area.

Also, remember to wash your hands before applying any solution your doctor or piercer may give you.

Please see your local piercer and a doctor. Do not remove the stud yet unless your doctor directs you to. This is very serious.


ok so my boyfriend lives in massachusetts and i live in newyork. mhm, one of those long distance things. we're both 16. well im spending the week at his house in april for spring break. i havent seen him since the summer. and we have never gone past second base. and i want to show him that i do really love him but i DO NOT think i am ready to have sex. so i was thinking of giving him head, but heres the thing. i dont know how? any tips, or advice? (link)
If you're not ready to have sex then you're not ready to have oral sex. Oral sex IS sex and you can get just as many STDs from that as you can having vaginal intercourse.

Serious risks include:

1. Herpes is probably the biggest STD risk during oral sex. Both strains of herpes can live in the mouth or the genitals, and particularly during outbreaks (cold sores, herpes lesions) can be passed from one place to the other. More than 50% of a random group of people will have antibodies to the virus (indicating some level of infection). Genital herpes is complicated and uncomfortable. Herpes can be passed on even if no sores are present.

2. Chlamydia and gonorrhea can infect your throat, showing strep like symptoms. These can also infect the eye; eye infections can have serious consequences. Roughly, 80% of women who have chlamydia have no symptoms and it can prevent them from ever having children.

3. HIV can be passed through unprotected oral sex. The infected semen/precum or vaginal fluid must enter the body through a cut or sore in the mouth or esophagus. You may not even be aware you have a cut in your mouth or throat. Some people take up to 10 years to show that they have contracted HIV/AIDS.

4. HPV can be passed during oral sex. HPV has been found on vocal chords. There is no test to find out if a man has HPV and men usually show no symptoms.

5. Syphilis can be passed similar to HIV. Signs and symptoms are indistinguishable from those of other diseases so some people go a long time without knowing they have it. Mothers can pass this onto their babies without knowing it.

6. Hepatitis A is also a risk, but usually only oral-anal contact. Hep A is not a chronic condition like Hep B and C, but can make a person quite sick several weeks.

Also think about what you're saying now. Before you two had gone to second base. Now you want to give him oral sex. Next visit you'll want to have vaginal intercourse, most likely, but will you be truly ready to deal with that responsibility?

Instead of showing him love by doing sexual favors then why don't you make a nice plan for the week? Dinners, movies, even research some things you two can travel to close by that he's never seen before--museums even.

Some ideas for fun, neat things to do together are:

Rollerskating/blading, snuggling up and reading a long book together, taking a walk together, make dinner together, go to a nice restaurant neither of you have been to, visit local attractions, help with chores (especially the ones he doesn't like; many couples say this is particularly loving of their mate), paint pictures or even his room together (get approval from parents if you do this), throw a party and invite all of his friends for you to meet again, watch old cartoons and bring back childhood memories, go swimming together, have a campfire and roast marshmallows with friends and family, go dancing together, create a photo album or scrapbook together of this visit, play a board game, etc.

Make good, lasting memories of the short period of time you get to be together. It may seem like he'll remember a blow job forever but he, most likely, won't as the years go by.

Wouldn't you two like to look back years down the road and have giggles about the silly things you remember and the good times you had during the week? You'll be able to tell your future friends and possible children and grandchildren all about the neat things you two did together.

Love is not sex and sex is not love. Anyone can have sex. Prostitutes have sex every day in every way with many different people and they never love any of them.
Show him you love him by doing something else. Don't fall into the stupid teenage crowd.

I wish you luck on figuring out something better to do with your time on your visit to your boyfriend's house.


Don't worry, it's not a stupid question like ''I wanna pierce my lip and put an earring post in there''
In July last year, on a school trip, I pierced my lip. I knew what I was doing. I had clamps, sterilized 14ga piercing needle and everything I needed, after I put a 16ga actual labret stud in. I kept a longer post in for the week we were gone, cleaned it all the time, and by the fourth day, it was perfectly healed, no pain what so ever.
Due to the fear of my parents going to slaughter me, I bought a labret retainer, and it works perfectly, I put a little bit of cover-up around it and it just looks like a spot.
My parents haven't noticed so far, so I'm safe.
( I take it out when we go to restaurants and soon , especially the dentist)
But I'm wondering when should I tell them that I got it pierced, I'm sure that they'll make me take it out if they find out, but I don't like the fact that I have to hide it all the time. Like once I forgot to put the labret in at school, before I went home, and I just had to take it out. My dad asked me why I had a hole in my lip and I told him it was a dent mark I had from wearing a fake piercing and he believed it so I was ok. But he always looks at my lip nowadays.

What do you think I should do about this situation? (link)
I think your dad already suspects you have your lip pierced. He noticed the hole before and continues to check out that area--he already knows probably.

This is where it gets rough though. Your dad probably isn't confronting you because he feels he must be wrong. Why would his child lie to him, right? Your dad will have every right to be upset when he finds out.

Yes, you've lied to your parents. What makes this really bad is you lied to them about something really silly. You're now not as trustworthy to them as you were in the past. Think about the times that people have lied to you about things you felt were big. Did you get upset?

If I were you, I'd confess right away. The worst they can do is make you remove it. Even then, one day you will be able to get the piercing. If you really want it then I'm sure you can wait a little time before they okay it.

When you confront your parents, you need to sit them both down and tell them that you did something you know they're not going to approve of. Also, let them know that you realize you lied to your father and you apologize. Let them know you now realize it was best to just tell them rather than hiding the truth.

Answer their questions about the piercing. Let them know what you were thinking at the time, how you got it pierced, why you lied to your father, and anything else they may want to know. Being honest is very important and coming forward with this information shows you have grown and aren't as childish as you once were.

If they force you to remove it then do so. If you're hiding it all the time then what's the point? Piercings are suppose to be seen.

If you pierced your lip to fit in with the crowd (or "not" to fit in) then re-evaluate your actions. Was this the wisest way to do so? Could you have done something equally as popular without harming the relationship you have with your parents? (Start a new trend even? Wear the fake jewelery until you get approval?) You don't need piercings to fit in with anyone.

If it was for the "cute" factor then I'm sure you can find something equally as attractive. There are tons of ideas floating around out there for starting new trends and being unique that nobody has even touched yet. You can be trendy without disobeying and hurting the people who care about you most.

Instead of getting mad, try to talk to them. Calmly ask them when they think it might be okay for you to get it pierced. Don't try to persuade them because that shows you're immature. Be an adult about this situation.

I'm sorry you've gotten yourself into a little mess but I do hope you find your way out in the best way possible.


ok so me and my boyfriend attempted anal sex not long ago.. when he put his penis in me i felt heaps of paint and then i was dizzy and then i fainted... why did i faint? should we try it again?

(link)
I believe you are not ready to have anal sex. Anal sex is very risky and there are many dangers of participating in such activities.

Anal sex shouldn't be painful and it definately shouldn't make you faint. Your body fainted so you would stop feeling the pain. Your body was being seriously hurt. Pain is your body's way of telling you to stop doing what you're doing because it is not good.

Among the diseases with which anal sex is associated are HIV, anal cancer, typhoid fever, and various diseases associated with the infectious nature of fecal matter or sexual intercourse in general. Among these are: Amoebiasis; Chlamydia; Cryptosporidiosis; E. coli infections; Giardiasis; Gonorrhea; Hepatitis A; Hepatitis B; Hepatitis C; Herpes simplex; Human papillomavirus (HPV); Lymphogranuloma venereum; Pubic lice; Salmonellosis; Shigella; Syphilis; Tuberculosis.

Physical damage to the rectum and anus are serious and hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and rectal prolapse may occur. Damage is more likely if communication is poor or if technique is clumsy. Basically, if you don't know what you're doing or you end up doing something wrong by accident you may end up in the emergency room having surgery or stitches.

Can you imagine being rushed to the emergency room? Who would take you? How embarrassed would you feel? Can you deal with paying for them to sew you back up properly? Heck, can you imagine trying to use the toilet after such an experience? I bet it wouldn't be something you'd forget for a long time.

Small tears that can happen during anal sex can easily become infected. The membrane inside the rectum is VERY thin so it tears very easily. Even if there seems to be no complications the tears can be very irritating.

It is also very easy to get a vaginal infection from anal intercourse if your partner enters the vagina after being in the anus. Even if he knows not to enter the vagina afterward, he may accidentally slip.

I'm sure you can find much better things to do with your time.

Instead of trying anal sex, try seeing a movie with your partner, go out to dinner or cook dinner together, play a non-sexual game together to relive a few fun bits of your childhood, begin a paint project together, take a nice walk outside, visit old shops you've never been in together, go bowling, go rollerskating, find interesting books for each other at the library (or even a book from your childhood you really enjoyed), snuggle up and read a long book together, or even help answer questions on Advicenators together.

There are many things I bet you haven't done together that would be really neat without risking your health.


december 1st i got my cartiledge pierced with a gun, not a needle. its now march and i STILL cant take out my earring. i've tried many times and its IMPOSSIBLE to get back in and my ear will start to like gush blood and i'll have to push it in. There is this like bubble on the back of my ear where the piercing goes there. so here's my problem, i play lacrosse and practices have started and for games i can't wear my earring..i dont want to waste time at the doctors unless i really need to but does anyone know what i'm going through, should i get it repierced on the other ear or something? (link)
It sounds like you have some sort of infection from the piercing.

I want to note that it is really unsafe to be pierced with the gun. The piercing gun cannot be 100% sanitized. That means, bits of other people are still left on it in areas that the piercer could not properly cleanse. These bits can be punctured into your fresh piercing.

You CAN get and/or spread a serious infection including HIV, if the piercing equipment hasn't been sterilized properly. Remember, the gun cannot be sterilized.

Infections caused by bacteria getting into the puncture of the piercing may also happen later, even after the piercing has healed.

The gun also doesn't feel any "better" than a piercing needle. The needle is much safer and cleaner though. It doesn't cost any more to get pierced with a needle and healing time is actually quicker because there is less damage done to the area.

You need to see your local piercer and possible your doctor about your piercing. Your piercer may have a solution to help the swelling go down slightly but you'll probably need a good antibiotic from your doctor to get rid of the infection.

If you leave it out and let it grow up then you'll have a pocket of infection in your ear. The infection will probably continue to grow and may need to be lanced then. Even if it doesn't seem like it's growing now, it may being to in the future.

You should never remove an unhealed piercing. It is easy for bacteria to get caught in the wound and it be healed up inside where it can grow and harm you. Your piercing is not healed and when you remove it and place it back in you are damaging more tissue.

If that isn't bad enough, since it's a cartilage piercing your ear may collapse, especially if the "bubble" on your ear decides to start growing. If that were to happen, you may need an implant to give shape back to your ear.

Please see your local piercer and a doctor. This is very important.


After training for soccer (yesterday, for 1 and 1/2 hours), i had a muscle spasm in my left calf muscle and it was sore from the on (its still sore now), and now my other calf muscle is sore (but didn't have a spasm). It's not going away from stretching.

And yes i did stretch before training.

Is there other ways to get rid of the pain (no drugs, medications etc.)???

And how long will the pain last?

Thanks so much in advance!!

Kronix (link)
I searched around online to see if there was anything you could do for your pain and about not getting another cramp. This is what I found that seemed helpful:

"Treatment and avoidance
Many books say massage and stretching. If you massage a cramping muscle you will certainly strain it; if you try to stretch a cramping muscle you’ll strain it some more.

Do this: Place the cramping muscle in its shortest anatomical position. For the calf, this means bringing the foot back to your butt--the position in which the calf is least likely to remain in spasm because you have “told” the stretch proprioceptors the muscle is in its absolute resting position.

As it relaxes, you can use gentle touch followed by gentler massage...a slow kneading to locate the sore spots. Then use ice alternating with low temperature moist heat to further relax the muscle and bring nutrients in...while flushing wastes out.

Eat something with sodium and potassium; bananas and oranges work well. Take a tum or glass of milk for calcium; add an anti-inflammatory for pain. Diazepam and diphenhydramine can help, too.

In 12 hours you may be able to take an easy run. If the cramp was due to a severe strain, you may need several rest or cross-training days.
Except in the case of a minor spasm while exercising, hold the stretching until after the acute phase. Avoid heat for the first 48 hours.

Vitamin B-complex has been shown of use for leg cramps in one study. Quinine is also helpful but has side effects. Tonic water is a good source of quinine. A glass before going to bed may help; the liquid may help too!

Dehydration is a major cause of muscle spasms. Drink plenty of [caffeine] free and alcohol free liquids. Drinking 8 glasses per day is [nonsense] for intensive exercisers. You can lose 8 glasses of fluid in one hour of exercise. Drink until your urine is light yellow."

Which was taken from:

http://home.sprynet.com/~holtrun/charley.htm

I hope you'll find relief for your current pain and prevention for the future.


Does anyone know where i can get bags that are cute, but also CHEAP!? I really want to get some bags that are like hobo bags (like slouchy)...i love the kooba bags...

Thankss!!

(link)
Target has a wide selection of affordable purses that may interest you:

http://www.target.com/Handbags-Accessories-Women/b/ref=nav_t_spc_1_26/602-2536748-4658216?ie=UTF8&node=370215011

Fashion Bug also has very nice handbags at low prices, but I'm not sure if they're what you're looking for:

http://fashionbug.charmingshoppes.com/pagebuilder/product_thumbnail_image?cgid1=352&nav=Accessories&sub_cat=HANDBAGS

Goodys also has some cute, stylish handbags:

http://www.goodysonline.com/accessories/handbags/

Even JCPenney has a wide selection, though they're priced a little higher than some I've listed:

http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/x4.aspx?catid=51467&deptid=50434&cmAMS_T=X3&cmAMS_C=C5&CmCatId=50434|50448

If you're able to purchase purses online, I'd also recommend Ebay for a wide selection of very affordable purses:

http://clothing.listings.ebay.com/Womens-Accessories-Handbags_Handbags-Bags_W0QQfromZR4QQsacatZ63852QQsocmdZListingItemList



Ok so I want to lose 10 pounds by june. Can anyone help me. All advice apreciated. (link)
You really should make a lifestyle change to lose the weight and keep it off.

Make an exercise routine or join a gym. Regular exercise is important to losing weight and keeping it off. Evening joining a dance class is helpful in burning off calories.
You can also change things in your daily life that will help like taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

Purchase a pedometer (cheap and you can get them at dollar stores even) so you can monitor your daily walking. Notice how much you usually walk and then make an effort to increase that. Go the long way around, make an effort to take evening walks, walk around the house more when doing chores. 2000 steps is about 1 mile, all of a sudden it becomes easy and you don't feel like you've made major changes.

You should also change your diet to a much healthier one. Remember your food pyramid and portion it out throughout the day. Try to cut out snacks and fatty foods. You may even want to take a good multivitamin just to ensure that you're getting the nutrients you need.

If you're not hungry, don't eat. It may be best if you cut your three large meals into six smaller meals throughout the day. It helps to keep your metabolism up and you never feel the need to snack if that's a problem for you. It's important to keep your body nourished and to keep your metabolism up.

I wish you luck on finding a way to lose weight the healthy way.


okay well i got my cartialge piercing done like i say 4 days again and i been cleaning it NON STOp with the thing they gave me to cleans.
the thing is that is a lil red it not like wen you tlak to someone and there like WOW yout ear is red its more like you look in the mirror and you notice it being red but most peole cant really see it but you can , also the back hurts a little bit more then the front is that normal? ALSO it hurts wen i move it sometimes like wen i moe it around to clean but i cna turn it and it wont just a bit. Is this all normal?? cause its been 4 days so i dont know PLEASE ANSWER! (link)
Alright, first off, it's totally normal for it to be red and a little irritated for awhile. My cartilage piercings were sore for a few weeks actually. Just so you know, I've had 14 piercings altogether. They all get red and puffy for the first week usually.

Secondly, STOP cleaning it so much. Twice a day is enough. If you clean too much it kills off the cells that are healing the piercing and it will take much longer to heal.

Alongside that, you're more prone to get an infection if you keep cleaning it away--the wound will never get the heal.

You may also want to switch to a cleaning solution better suited for the body. You can go to Wal-Mart and buy something called Wound Wash Saline which is really, really good for your piercing.

If that isn't possible to get, you can ask the pharmacy and they should be able to sell you a bottle of a wound saline. You'll have to let them know it's for a puncture wound and they can help you find it.

Do NOT use alcohol or peroxide to clean the area. Both products will dry out your skin and kill off some of the good cells that are helping to keep the area safe and healed properly.

Also, remember to wash your hands before you apply the solution to the wound. You don't want any nasty critters to come in contact with it.

Thirdly, don't try to move the piercing. I know it sounds stupid but, really, when you move the piercing it actually hurts the area.

Think of your wound as a scab inside. If you keep messing with it, the scab pulls off, right? When a scab pulls off that isn't ready to come off by itself, it'll bleed and become red and irritated--maybe even infected.

So, stop moving the piercing around. They honestly do lie when they say, "You need to twist the earrings daily or the skin will grow to them." That is a lie, I promise you. You don't want to move them and the skin will not grow to your piercing like they claim.

I also want to note that it is really unsafe to be pierced with the gun. The piercing gun cannot be 100% sanitized. That means, bits of other people are still left on it in areas that the piercer could not properly cleanse. These bits can be punctured into your fresh piercing.

You CAN get and/or spread a serious infection including HIV, if the piercing equipment hasn't been sterilized properly. Remember, the gun cannot be sterilized.

Infections caused by bacteria getting into the puncture of the piercing may also happen later, even after the piercing has healed.

I really hope you figure out the best ways to take care of your new piercing and I'll leave this ending with a fairly decent guide to piercings:

http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/body-piercing.html


Right hi I wasnt sure were to put this. Everytime I go drinking I start to feel a bit sick well no throw up sick but just like a sore stomach after one drink, and I was wondering is this is normal. But once I sttart to drink more it goes away?
What is this? Im legal age 2 drink in the Uk btw lol
Thanks in adance (link)
I'm thinking maybe you have a stomach ulcer.

The main symptom of an ulcer is a burning or gnawing feeling in the stomach (pain), lasting from 30 minutes to 3 hours.

Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to developing an ulcer so if you drink a lot (or drank a lot) that would really explain things. Alcohol can upset an ulcer sometimes so it's possible that it flares up when you begin drinking.

Ulcers can be caused from things like anti-inflammatory medications (asprin), cigarette smoking, and even stress.

Here is a good link to tell you more about ulcer symptoms and causes:

http://www.mamashealth.com/stomach.asp

If you suspect you may have an ulcer you should definately make a doctor's appointment. I wish you luck on relieving your stomach pains.


Okay wel sorry if this will be long but i have a lot to say and i need an ear to talk to...

I used to like this boy a long time ago (last year) and i told him how i felt and it pretty much just scared him off. But i got over that and now i like this one guy, cj, but he is different than drew (he was the guy i liked first) i dont know why but i just care more about him and i want him to want me like i want him. You know what im saying. But im not obsessed or anything like that. He had a girlfriend and i waited.

At one point i thought he liked me. Because we never talked at all, and he would look at me, until i caught him, then he would look away. And he threw a paper ball at me. Then like 5 weeks ago he told me he had a girlfriend and all, but it came up casually in a conversation. And about a week ago, he was seriously flirting with me, and this past tuesday i found out that him and his girlfriend broke up. Now we still talk and everything, but i am having self doubt.

I feel like i am getting my hopes up and i dont have a chance. He is a senior and i am a freshman but im 15 and hes 18...only three years, and we are a small community and the senior boys arent really like players, well most of them. But he is really nice and sweet. I dont want to ruin it by coming on too strong. But he was saying that he likes to talk about his feelings and he is sort of a romantic and likes a girl thats fun and has a sense of humor, (which is pretty much me in a nutshell) and he said i can be dumb funny and cute at the same time... he was teasing me and touching me with his arm constantly. I just mesh with him...

But:
1) Do you think i have a chance at all?
2) do you think he was just being nice while he was flirting or is there something there?
3) Do you think i am getting ahead of myself?
4) How should i handle this? Normally i would tell a guy i liked him as long as he dont have a girlfriend and he dont but he is the only one i have ever had trouble dealing with this. Like im not nervous or anything..you know what i mean?

Sorry its so long but i need guidance.. :)

(link)
I really think you're getting way ahead of yourself.

You clearly state that you two have never talked at all. This alone answers all of your questions.

The guy doesn't know you. You don't know the guy unless you're listening in on his conversations with other people. Maybe he thinks you're cute but that's it (which explains him looking in your direction). Can you build a strong relationship on the basis that your partner is cute?

If you're wanting this guy to be interested in you, then you need talk to him. I'm positive you'd like to know something more about the boy before jumping into a relationship with him, right? Just strike up conversation one day and go with it--don't think about him possibly, maybe, kind-of liking you.

Anyway, he may just have a flirty personality from what you say. Do you really want to date a guy that may be flirting with other girls behind your back? That is, if he was flirting with you.

However, throwing paper at you is not flirting--that's adolescence.

He knows absolutely nothing about you. You haven't had much conversation with him. He has no idea if he really likes you or not.

He says you can be "dumb, funny, and cute..." which tells me he thinks you're not all that intelligent, you make decent jokes or a fool of yourself often, and you're not ugly. However "cute" may have been him referring to you as innocent from your lack of common knowledge.

Again, if you don't have conversations with the guy, you don't really have any idea about what he's thinking.

Here is the wiki site on how to flirt successfully with a guy:

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-with-a-Guy

I wish you luck on figuring your love-life out.


I'm a 20 year old female. I don't really masturbate often but when I do, I'm fairly certain that I do pee. Once during sex I think its happened as well. I've heard about "female ejaculation" before, but I don't think thats what it is. This liquid has a strong smell and has a yellow tinge. Is it possible that it IS in fact pee?? It feels really good when I do "pee" but I'm thinking maybe I'm really weird... Is peeing during sex/masturbation normal? (link)
I have to say that the closer that some people get to a strong orgasm, the more they feel like they are going to urinate.

Having this exact same problem before, you really need to think about what just came out of your body. Is it liquidy or more creamy? If it's thicker than fluid then it's likely you have ejaculated on yourself.

Here is a good link about female ejaculation:

http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm

Urinating during sex really isn't that uncommon if that is what is happening to you. I know a few girls who have full-on peed during sex completely by accident. I also know girls who "dribble" a little here and there during sex.

If you are urinating then you may have a bladder problem. Do you urinate more often than others? I also know a woman who, if she didn't take her medication to help her overactive bladder, would urinate on her partner.

If overactive bladder may be the cause, you should talk with your doctor about this. Actually, if this is really bothering you and you feel it may not be normal (or you want to see if there is something they suggest you do to stop) see your doctor. Your doctor has heard this many times, I guarantee.

I wish you luck on figuring out what it is.


i'm 15 and, sadly, i have big sweating problem. even if its not hot out and i'm not exercising i'll end up with huge sweat circles under my arms and it's extremely embarassing. i tried using antiperspirant but it doesn't even work and idk why. maybe i'm not using a good brand? idk.

help? (link)
Yes, you should see a doctor about the problem if you have tried a few deodorants and they aren't helping. Try switching to other brands before you give up, including the few I've listed below.

Some people just naturally sweat more than others.

They now have the prescription strength formulas out there for women. Secret Clinical Strength and Certain Dri are both good for this type of problem. You should really check them out and follow the directions on using them as I believe they have different application instructions.

Also, if you don't want to be spendy with the deodorant, you could try Mitchum for women, as I've heard good things about it as well.

Here is also a good link on some tips on controlling the sweat in the meantime:

http://www.ehow.com/how_6176_control-perspiration.html

I wish you luck on finding a good method to controlling your perspiration.


i want to watch 2girl1cup. heard it's nasty but i duno whre i can watch it. i tried the site but you have to enter a credit card number and a set of crap..so what can i do? (link)
Honestly, you really don't want to see it.

Disgusting is not funny and this isn't even somewhat amusing. So not worth money either.

I've seen 2girls1cup and unless you like seeing women eating feces from a glass, it's not for you.

I just wouldn't bother searching around if I were you. Surely you can find better things to do with your time.


how do you get rid of KILLER cramps? like so bad you can't even function? and my boyfrend always asks what he can do to help. any suggestions i can tell him? (link)
If you are having debilitating cramps you really should talk with your doctor about this. Dysmenorrhea, or cramping and pain during menstruation, is serious. This is the leading cause of lost time from school and work among women.

There could be an underlying issue within or outside the uterus (for example, pelvic inflammatory disease, leiomyoma, endometriosis, adhesions, adenomyosis, uterine displacement, or a retroverted uterus). Endometriosis is the most common cause of dysmenorrhea.

Endometriosis is a serious condition and can leave you infertile if left alone since it results in scar tissue. This means, the lining of the uterus is growing outside of the uterus, where it's suppose to be. This causes the body to be unable to expel it properly. The tissue still detaches and bleeds but is left in your body.

Endometriosis occurs in one in every 5 females. Usually diagnosed between ages 30 and 40; however, it is not unheard of at younger ages. Here is the Wikipedia page about it (which has the symptoms listed):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis

You should really talk with your doctor about this. It isn't okay to not be able to do anything during your period.

In the meantime, to relieve menstrual cramps try what works best for you:

1. Take ibuprofen (like Advil), or some over-the-counter painkiller such as Midol or Pamprin.
Remember, ibuprofen should always be taken with food or milk. Follow the dosage instructions on the bottle.

2. Start birth control pills.
Many gynecologist recommend birth control pills which regulate and sometimes decrease menstrual cramps.

3. Use a hot water bottle or heating pad on the cramping area. You can now buy ThermaCare HeatWraps for Menstrual Cramp Relief that warms up and is stickied to the front side of your panties so you can go about your day. I've had friends that tried the HeatWraps and they really loved them.

4. Start an exercise routine.
During menstrual cramps, the last thing on your mind is exercise. However, many women find that after they establish an exercise regimen, cramps are lessened. After several months, your menstrual flow may be lighter and less painful.

Try light aerobic exercise, swimming, meditating, or a short jog.

5. Change to a healthier diet.
Try to stay away from eating only junk food or food that does not make you feel better. During or right before your period, make an effort to eat more balanced meals, iron-rich foods (eggs, meat, poultry, fish, beans, nuts), fresh fruit, vegetables, and vitamin supplements.

Taking a calcium supplement daily (all through the month) has helped many women lessen menstrual cramps.

6. Drink lots of liquids (hot and cold).
Most women don't drink the recommended 8-10 glasses of water (or juice) a day. Try and cut down on soda and coffee. If you feel bloated, lethargic, or if you have constipation or diarrhea, be sure to drink lots of water.

Abstain from alcohol. If you tend to retain water during your period, alcohol will only add to your problems.

Cut out caffeine. The caffeine in coffee, tea, cola, and chocolate can contribute to menstrual discomfort by making you nervous. Go caffeine-free. The oils in coffee also may irritate your intestines.

7. Have an orgasm or two.
Achieving orgasm through masturbation or other means temporarily reduces painful cramps for some women. The vigorous muscle action moves blood and other fluids away from the area, relieving pain. If you don't feel comfortable with this method, that's okay. Just do what works for you.

8. Get your feet rubbed.
The foot contains acupressure or trigger points that are believed to be connected along internal energy pathways to your pelvic area. Feel for these spots (which will be sensitive during your period) in the depressions above either side of your heel. Gently press in with your thumb and fingertips. Do the same along the sides of your Achilles tendon, moving up toward your calf muscle.

Try this acupressure technique for a few minutes on each foot. In my experience, this always works for me, especially when I'm having trouble falling asleep because of the cramping.


I hope you find some relief for your killer cramps and get checked out by a doctor. It's better to be safe than to find out years later you may be unable to have children because you let this problem go on too long.


The girls at my school that get the most attention have full bosies. Like, thick legs and fat asses. I am like a stick and I want to know how to gain weight like them. What do I eat and how much? My dad is skinny and he can eat whatever and not gain anything. I think im the same way? I know a lot of girls would find this lucky but I hate it. I want the bodies of girls you see on music videos with bow wow and chris brown! HELP (link)
Gaining weight sounds easy but some people just have high metabolisms than others. Remember that when you're gaining weight you should still be exercising.

The key to gaining weight is consuming more calories than you do now. It's important to remember that you need to up your calorie intake without eating a bunch of "junk" foods. It seems like a lot of people make this mistake and end up miserable when their bodies stop responding like they use to and start slowing the metabolism.

Remember to keep your diet balanced at the same time. A balance of proteins, carbohydrates, and the right kinds of fat is essential. It's suggested to up your three large meals a day to five or six smaller ones. Fish like tuna and salmon are good, meats should still be lean, and your fruits and vegetables intake should increase.

If you still feel you're not getting enough calories for weight gain, you can look into shakes like Ensure. It's safe to have an Ensure drink between meals as snacks and I've heard it tastes really good.

Adding a good multivitamin to your diet would be beneficial. Your body will then have enough nutrients to build muscle. It's a lot better to increase your calories, vitamins, and minerals opposed to fats and sugars.

You can also add a healthy snack right before bedtime. It's harder for your body to burn off if you eat before bedtime but you don't want to load up on bad foods.

Here is a site with good detail on how to gain weight the healthy way (including exercise tips):

http://nutrition.about.com/od/dietsformedicaldisorders/f/GainWeight.htm

Here's a website including some things you can add to the foods you eat now that will help you increase your calorie intake in a healthy manner:

http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/handouts/gaining_weight.htm

I wish you luck on gaining weight the healthy way and having the body you dream of.


Are there any signs that a girl likes you?
-15m (link)
There are many ways girls show guys that they're interested. I've looked around online for a decent list of signs and this is what I've found:

1. See if the girl acts nice to you and your friends, and if she laughs at your jokes often.

2. See if the girl squints at you when talking to you.

3. Watch if the girl stops conversations when you become in earshot. Also if she giggles a lot when you are around, she could like you.

4. Understand that some girls tease the guys they like; if she always has a snappy comeback for you and nobody else, or very few others, then she could like you.

5. If the girl passes notes or gives slips of paper to you, then she probably likes you.

6. If she starts to act differently or you
catch her staring at you, she probably likes you.

7. If she lets you touch her, or tries to partner with you, it is a sure sign she is interested.

8. Consider if she seems to go out of her way to be around you.

9. Look her in the eyes, and see if she looks back at you.

10. Notice if, while talking to you, she seems forgetful or nervous.

11. See if she touches herself while looking at you. If she seems really turned on by something and you're the only one around, she probably likes something about you.

12. Some shyer girls might be too embarrassed to flirt with you. If this is the case, approach her yourself and try to build up her self-confidence with compliments. Don't get offended if she doesn't respond right away, she may be unsure of what to say.

13. If you catch the girl staring at you continuously, or glancing quickly up at you and looking away, she probably likes you but is too shy to speak her mind.

14. If she sees you staring at her and she turns around then she is probably shy and or likes you.

15. If she starts spending a lot more time with you, or talking on the phone with you-she's probably interested.

...these were taken from:

http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-When-a-Girl-is-Interested-in-You

...you probably want to check that out because it also tells you how to react and tips on communicating with the girl.

Now, I know those aren't all of the signs but, as you have gathered, body language tells a lot. I'd like to add that sitting position can tell a lot about a person's feels toward you.

Look to see if she sits with her body more toward you than away (legs being pointed in your direction). She may also cross her legs beside you and if this happens look to see if the inner thigh of the top leg is pointed in your direction.

Anyway, I wish you luck on figuring out if a certain special girl is interested in you back.

EDIT: Oops, I see someone posted the link a couple of minutes before I did. I apologize for the repetition then!


Alright. I'm a senior in high school in West Virginia. And recently we watched this movie, "Jesco White: Dancing Outlaw." It's about this man from a county not too far from where I live, but he's a redneck and hick, and basically what I'd guess people percieve West Virginian's as being like. But we're definitely NOT like him at all. For the most part, we lead normal lives and aren't very 'country' at all, really. So I was just wondering what people think of us? Thank you (: (link)
Well, I moved from North Carolina to West Virginia not many years ago and it was quite the culture shock.

I live in Southern West Virginia and, really, it is quite the "country" scene. It also is very dirty from the coal mines we have--so everything has that weird dirt film on it.

What's sick is, nobody really cares about the film from the coal dust. Nobody cares it's in the water supply. Nobody cares about their health even when doctors tell them that it's very unhealthy and cancer-causing to continue drinking the tap water.

I worked as a cashier for awhile and you'd be surprised at how many people were unable to READ simple labels. One man picked up a box of Stridex face cleansing pads and asked if it was Alka-Seltzer! I was very surprised as the PICTURES on the boxes aren't even similiar.

One man threw a fit when he tried to use his EBT/Food Stamps card and he couldn't read "Enter Your Pin" at all. After I clearly explained it needed the four digit number he had chosen before to be pushed in, he yelled at me and said he was unable to read to put the pin number in. Uh...when did "reading" consist of the numbers 0 - 9?

The people here are also very uncaring. They're selfish and seem to feel they deserve "more" than everyone else. Most people here are on mental disability checks that they receive through the government. Because they get a grand check of $600 on the first of the month, they feel they're better than "working people" and that they should be waited on hand and foot.

Now, maybe you haven't traveled very far. Maybe you're in some great city up in the north part of WV. Maybe you're just blind to your surroundings. West Virginia IS redneck and hick. West Virginia IS very country and dirty.

We have pigs and cows. People raise chickens for cock fighting (my cousin does). Many people make moonshine to drink and chew tobacco. Outhouses still exist and aren't uncommon here. There are daily blue grass gatherings, and once a week they gather in the mall to dance.

There are buildings practically falling apart onto the roads that already have pot holes in them. Most people here live in bashed in little trailers and campers (yes, insulation seeping out from the holes and everything) up little dirt roads. Heck, I even know a man that lives in a cave in the hills here.

People really are inbred here too as far as I can tell. I know a couple that have three children and the parents are actually brother and sister. I know people related by blood to their cousins on "both sides" of their family tree. I've heard many times about a boyfriend and girlfriend actually being cousins. I wish I was kidding!

Laws here are really relaxed though. If you know the right people, you can get out of just about anything. I know people who get out of traffic tickets often. You just have to make a few calls and the ticket disappears.

Everyone is not like what we see in movies and television. Sure there are uneducated people in the big cities. Sure there are highly intelligent people living in the middle of nowhere.

You have to think of the MAJORITY though and, I hate to say it, it sounds like they were spot-on in the movie. I wish it wasn't like this, but it honestly is.

I've seen a bit of WV and even the cities seem dirty and run-down to me. I do hope you're actually from the Northern part and it's actually clean and pretty up there. It'd be really sad if you're from around where I live and you're just so use to this mess that you're blind to it now.




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker