"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Last Update: August 16, 2011
About a year ago I was working as a care aid in a long-term care home. We were scheduled to take a group of seniors out to shop, and I was washing up this resident, around then she was 101 I believe. I realized that I was about to be late, so I dried this resident up as fast as I could and covered her a bit, and left the room to try to find another care aid to take over for me and finish washing her. |
When I got back with another care aid the resident was obviously upset about being left alone (she said, "don't leave me again!" or something like that). I felt really bad about leaving her because I knew she would get cold very easy, and she was basically helpless (bedrest, couldn't get her up). This has really been bothering me, I feel very guilty and I've been trying to decide whether or not it'd be worth it to apologize to her.
On one hand: I don't even know if she's still alive (I could call and ask, but I don't know if they'd tell me), I don't know if I'd be allowed to see her, she's completely blind and 90% deaf (have to yell an inch away from her ear to communicate), maybe has dementia by now, she might not remember what happened, maybe it's been too long, maybe I'm blowing what happened out of proportion.
On the other: It would give me peace of mind, and maybe her.
What do you guys think? Is it worth it to try to apologize? I don't even know if they'd let me talk to her (not a family member).
Is it worth it to try to apologize?
Yes. Do it.
Even if she doesn't remember.
Even if she's on her last days.
Even if she can barely hear it.
At least try. At least call and ask if you could visit her. Explain that you use to work there and that you wanted to visit her again. Sometimes they will permit it. It's worth a shot.
And if she has passed...maybe you should visit her grave and apologize there for giving her a little bit of a scare.
I would even go as far as to tell her you're sorry for not apologizing sooner about the incident.
Imagine you were her. You're 101. You can't see. You can barely hear what's going on around you. You can't really even get up by yourself any more. You get cold easily and you rely on another person to keep you alive and safe. You would be scared, too. You'd be even more scared if you suddenly realized that your caretaker wasn't around. Not knowing when, or even if, the person was coming back. Not sure why they left in the first place. Not sure how you're going to get by if they don't come back for some reason and you're left alone for a long time.
You might say, "Well, she knew she was in a care facility so it was pretty obvious somebody was going to tend to her!"
Think of it this way: Ever seen a really scary movie at night, alone? And afterward, you feel a little creeped out? You KNOW nothing is going to pop out at you, grab you up, hurt you, or anything of the sort...but you still feel a little, even just slightly, uneasy.
That's how it probably feels. She may KNOW nothing bad is likely to happen but it still makes a person uneasy. When you're extremely helpless and you rely on another person to do absolutely everything for you then one little scary thing is intensified.
And it's understandable you didn't mean harm. It still merits an apology to her though.
5'1 and 109 pounds. 20/f. I'm really up to date with my exercise and I work put almost every day for 2 hours. I also eat super healthy. Basically tuna every day for lunch and for dinner turkey and vegetables. I don't usually eat rice or pasta. Today, I'm PMSing really badly and i ate pasta and bread and a a mini brownie. I know its not the end of the world but i feel SO guilty. Do u have any advice for me?? Like to feel less guilty. Maybe you can let me know if you've been there before? Thanks and God bless! (link)
It's actually really good for your metabolism if you change up your eating habit like this every once in awhile. Meaning, a splurge once a month isn't likely to actually affect you negatively as long as you get back on track quickly and don't slip into an unhealthy eating habit.
Additionally, try taking a multivitamin each day of month to see if it helps reduce some PMS symptoms.
Please also know that your body does NEED carbohydrates, and that it's important to incorporate a little bit into your diet each day. You don't need to go overboard, but it is fuel for the body. It could be possible that your body was craving it so much that the need, coupled with the PMS symptoms, just became too overwhelming. Take a good look at you diet.
These no-carb diets work this way:
Yes, your body burns off the fat so that you can gain energy, but once that fat reserve has reduced substantially, your body begins breaking down your muscle tissue for energy. Your body will NEVER burn off 100% of your fat before it starts breaking down muscle tissue to use as energy.
Muscle weighs more than fat. Carbohydrates help to build those muscles. So you see the scale drop dramatically. It actually isn't a good thing though.
Muscle helps to break down and burn off that fat. So, what happens is when you DO gain weigh, you start gaining fatty tissue because there isn't enough muscle to keep breaking it down and burning it off.
What you end up with is a person who has a very small amount of muscle, who will gain FAT easily, and will have a hard time losing that fat if they ever change their eating habits from no-carb to, well, anything else.
Additionally, this is why people on these no-carb diets never seem to have any energy. It's the reason they tend to over-eat on other foods (especially fatty meat) and have strong cravings during the diet. This is why they also seem to have saggier skin once they've lost weight than of people who ate a balance diet and exercised. It's why people who stop Atkins-type programs end up gaining a HUGE amount of weight back very quickly and end up having to do a diet-cycle to keep the weight in check.
Don't worry about it so much.
Make sure you don't KEEP splurging like this every day.
Take a good look at your eating habits already. Make alterations if needed.
And take a daily multivitamin.
if i have taken the morning after pill because of |
my partners penis went in a little bit would i still be pregnant (link)
If you take it within 72 hours after you've had unprotected sex, Plan B can reduce your risk of pregnancy by up to 89%. If you take Plan B within 24 hours, it can reduce your risk of an unwanted pregnancy by up to 95%.
Remember, the only 100% way to not get pregnant is to not have sex.
Does heamoroids also cause dysmenorrhea? (link)
Hemorrhoids have nothing to do with dysmenorrhea as far as I am aware. If you are concerned about having both of these and their possible association with one another then please speak with you doctor.
say a family member of mine is in the hospital. and i had to miss a few days of work to be with her. could my employers call to see if she was a patient? (link)
Some hospitals will disclose this information while others will not.
I lived in an area for awhile with two major hospitals. One on the hill. One across the river.
The one on the hill wouldn't disclose if a patient had been admitted or not.
The one across the river would tell you if so-and-so was a patient, what room they were in, and ask you if you wanted to be connected to talk to them. If a patient wanted, they did have the option to remain private and not disclose this information, but they absolutely had to express it or it was given out.
Additionally, the hospitals would also print admissions and releases from the hospital in the newspaper. From what I've gathered, this is pretty common practice. If you say, "She went in the hospital on Tuesday," and your local hospital does this, your employer would be able to look in the paper and see if she was listed.
The real question is if your employer will actually care enough to check. So many are so incredibly busy that they won't take the extra efforts to look into this. But, be warned, if they do and they suspect you've been lying you may be confronted about it when you return--and that might not the best situation.
Most employers require some sort of verification for these sorts of purposes, unless you take "sick" time or vacation time. You'd need to speak with your employer about forms or whatnot you'd need filled out and submitted.
Where can i find this bagg!! ive looked all over Jansport but i cant find it..|
This is likely a vintage item for Jansport backpacks. As in, they no longer manufacturer this sort of style.
However, I did just search the internet for you in hopes of finding something remotely close to this design.
I've had some minor success with ebay listings (Vintage Southwest Navajo Kilim Jansport Backpack):
Other than that, it just isn't readily available on the market any longer. Keep an eye out in vintage or thrift shops. Every once in awhile do a search for something like "Jansport Southwest" in ebay and see what comes up.
I did find these Southwest print backpacks you may be interested in:
And Etsy also has a minor selection of backpacks labeled as Southwest style:
How would you guys feel if someone offered to cook you dinner in their home for a first date? I think it's awesome but some people seem to think it's a bad plan (ie. too forward for a first date). What kind of message does that send?
Granted this would not be with a complete stranger, I can see that could probably be a bit uncomfortable. (link)
This use to be pretty typical and very acceptable. Now, cooking dinner and inviting someone over on a date typically means you'll be showing them around the bedroom, too.
Unfortunately, "Want to come over to my place?" usually indicates the desire to have sex now. If the guy is expecting a nice dinner and a romp in the bed with you and you have no such plans of an after-dinner fun-time then there could be some serious issues arise.
However, you know your guy friend A LOT better than we do.
If you think he'll get the impression that you're going to bed him, and that is not your intentions, then make it clear and be upfront or don't invite him over for dinner just yet.
If you think he'll get no further idea of what you expect (ie: will only think he's coming over for dinner with you. period.) then there's no harm in doing this.
I see absolutely no harm in this if your expectations are equal to his though.
If you choose to make him dinner, don't go all-out romantic since it's your first date. Be casual and comfortable. Maybe even plan to watch a movie you both enjoy together after or go out and see a new flick in the theatre.
The old message when inviting a man over for dinner was:
"I'd like to cook you dinner and get to know you better."
The new message is:
"I'm cooking dinner for you as an excuse to get you over here and have sex with you."
You know your guy. We don't. Go by what you know and communicate, communicate, communicate! If you must, discuss this issue with him, "I was talking to some friends of mine about inviting you over here for a homemade dinner. It seems like a bunch of them think that it'd give you the wrong impression and that you'd expect more than that. Isn't that silly? We're just starting to get to know each other. To me, dinner is just dinner. It's so weird how people make a big deal over nothing, don't you think?"
Okay, I have been sexually active since I was 15. I've been with two different guys, one was 5 inches, and the other is 8 in a half. I have realized that I have never bleed during sex. I don't think I've had my cherry popped, and Im wondering if its something I should be concerned about? (link)
Just for a note in regards to the other user's advice below, there is NO(!) "technical" version of a virgin. I can actually explain this further (yes, be prepared for my short informational rant):
Unfortunately, there is no true medical definition for virginity. This leads people to run with their own ideas. Instead, let's pick up a real dictionary:
As per Webster's Dictionary:
- the quality or state of being virgin
- an absolutely chaste young woman
- a person who has not had sexual intercourse
- a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity
- pure in thought and act
- abstention from sexual intercourse
- 1: heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis
- 2: intercourse (as anal or oral intercourse) that does not involve penetration of the vagina by the penis
Putting those definitions together to form accurate information:
Virginity refers to a person who has abstained from vaginal, anal, and oral intercourse.
As per some Wikipedia knowledge:
A virgin (or maiden) originally meant a woman who has never had sexual intercourse. Virginity is the state of being a virgin. It is derived from the Latin virgo, which means "sexually inexperienced woman"
No such thing as "technical" virginity. Your hymen does not make you a virgin. Period!
It's extremely likely (as in, I'd put money on it) that your hymen was just very elastic if you've never noticed blood in your panties that could be related to a broken hymen during another activity. Some women have very elastic hymens that will just stretch during sex, rather than rip, tear, and bleed.
Most hymens already do have a hole in them. If you were born with an imperforated (no hole) hymen then the doctor would have created a small surgical opening when you were an infant. Think of it like this: how else would your menstrual fluid escape if there was no natural hole, right? Most women are born with the hole. If they weren't, a small hole is created so that they can grow into healthy adults.
The hymen is thin but is fairly elastic any way. Younger women tend to have more elastic hymens. Some women have such a flexible hymen that it will just stretch out to accommodate a partner.
Usually what happens is that the hole is too small to accommodate a full-sized penis. The male inserts into the vagina and during this, or the thrusting that follows, the hymen cannot stretch any more and will just rip, leaving along a trail of blood from the "injury."
Like I said though, not everyone is made the exact same. Your hymen was probably just more elastic, stretched out fine to accommodate your partner(s), and may never actually rip or tear (although, during childbirth it's likely it will--not that you'll actually feel it at the time).
So, no, you aren't some sort of "technical virgin." You also really shouldn't be concerned. Your body just stretched easier. That's all.
And, yes, it's likely your hymen has widened enough that it's visually noticeable that you've had sex. Instead of having a small hole in your hymen, you probably have a little bit larger one now. No big deal. Still looks like a vagina.
So, your "cherry" has been "popped" but instead of it ripping/tearing, it was just stretched a lot. Voila. Not a virgin.
I have 3 juicy jackets that I need to wash...I was wondering how to wash them. I had them drycleaned back at home but now I'm in college and that is an inconvenience/out of my budget. I feel like I cannot just throw them in the washing machine with my other clothes.|
Should they be washed alone, on delicates, only dry-cleaned, etc..?
It depends what it is made from: leather, velour, canvas, or cotton. Some you can machine wash and some need dry cleaning only. If it specifies "dry clean only" then there's really no way to get around that.
You should have a tag inside on the back but you can always go to the website and ask directly, based on the type of material or style of your jacket (select Help on the bottom of the page and then Online Chat under Customer Service):
Now, I just chatted with a Juicy Couture representative and I was told, word for word:
You may wash the jacket in cold water inside out.
I, personally, would wash them alone, in cold water, and on the delicate cycle unless they were really dirty.
IF the jacket is a track suit jacket that you're talking about. If the jacket is something else then you'll need to specify the type and material.
I have already put a tampon in for my first time. But when I took it out, it hurt really bad. I'm scared to put one in again because I don't want it to hurt. I have to wear tampons because I dance. I'm scared. Help? (link)
Beginners typically feel the tampon inserted until the vagina is desensitized enough from the insertion of a dry piece of bleached rayon/cotton blend and the removal of such, including the lining of the vaginal wall. It may take one cycle or it may take 6 cycles for your body to lose enough sensitivity for you to no longer be able to feel the inserted tampon.
That's right. That painful feeling will go away. After you lose enough sensitivity in your vagina.
Just like any other fiber, the tampon absorbs moisture. Your vagina is SUPPOSE to be moist though. So, the tampon is constantly sucking away the natural fluid balance in your vagina. The vagina gets dry. If you've ever put lotion on your arm and then accidentally laid it on a sheet of paper then you will notice how it sticks to it. You pull the paper off and that's that. Imagine putting a wad of thick, absorbent paper in your vagina. It sucks that moisture away from the walls. It sticks to the flesh. Then you have to pull it off. Your vagina is a lot more sensitive and tender than you arm.
If your eyes were constantly watery, would it be okay to put a cotton ball in them? Think the cotton might actually dry out your eyes? Think it might lead to some irritation? After awhile it probably wouldn't feel uncomfortable to remove the cotton either.
In addition, tampons have been linked to dioxin exposure. There is no safe level of dioxin, and dioxin has been linked to a wide variety of health problems (cancer, endometriosis, reproductive damage, retardation, immune system damage).
Ignore my "2" rating:
Do you vagina and your entire body a favor and throw away the rest of the tampons. If you insist on inserting a menstrual product into your body then use something safe, such as a reusable menstrual cup. The link I included above also has a link to what menstrual cups are and how they don't put your body at risk for further health complications and do not cause vaginal desensitization.
"The cotton and rayon that is typical for mass produced tampons may actually contain pesticides and chlorine. Pesticides are used on the products while still in the fields to reduce the risk of bug infestations within the crops. These pesticides kill living insects so that they do not damage the crop. Chlorine is used purely as a whitener to bleach the finished products. This chlorine may actually cause a form of dioxin to be created within the product.
Dioxin is associated with environmental pollution and is highly toxic to the human body. Dioxin is actually said to be one of the most harmful and toxic chemicals known to science today and has been deemed a serious health threat. Dioxin has been linked to cancer, severe reproductive and developmental problems, immune system damage, interference with normal hormonal function and production, birth defects, infertility, increase chances of miscarriages, reduced sperm counts, endometriosis, diabetes, mental impairment, skin disorders, and even lung problems. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has reported no "safe" level of exposure to dioxin."
As a very last note, you may want to check out menstrual cups as an alternative you can wear while dancing that WON'T rip and tear the flesh from your vagina. Here is a link to a question about some and my answer is pretty thorough when explaining them:
Does anyone have a list of really good anime shows like;|
Fruits Basket, Naruto, Inuyasha.
With some romance in it?
Please don't suggest anything currently being aired on Adult swim.
Midori no Hibi!
I killed my baby - now i can't live with the guilt. I don't know what to do.I am angry at the father for not caring and so I harass him as much as possible. My therapist says I need to let it go but I can't. Help me! How do I move on? (link)
Since, in all likelihood, you're speaking about abortion, I will answer as if you specifically said "abortion."
We all make mistakes.
What you did was wrong. You know it, I know it. It's a part of being human though. You make bad decisions from time to time. You learn from the consequences (in this particular case, depression), and you grow to be a better person.
Don't run from the truth or look for sugar-coated responses. You did a bad thing. You did the wrong thing.
Fortunately, everyone deserves a second chance because everyone has the ability to learn from their past mistakes.
It's not that you need to "let it go" but you need to learn this lesson. You need to acknowledge your mistake and take actions to be a better person now. It's time to move forward to the next step in this process. It's time to do better and be better.
You don't need to forget the mistake. That's not even going to happen. It isn't that you need to pretend the mistake never existed in life. You just need to learn from it. You need to realize that it was a mistake and that you don't have to continue to be that person who made that mistake in the first place.
While the father of the child may not be very caring in this situation, he has a lot less burden than you do. To be perfectly blunt, you are the one that chose to end a life. He didn't. While he may have not done something to prevent you from making this mistake, it is entirely your mistake to carry. While his mistake was probably not taking better precautions to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, he isn't the one who actually went into the medical center, signed forms that agreed to this procedure, and allowed a doctor to end the life of his first born. Unfortunately, the most a man is "allowed" to do now is be supportive of the female's decision to abort the life inside of her womb. If he fights it, he's mocked and told that he is hurting women.
So, instead of dwelling on the mistake, focus on the improvements you need to make. Focus on taking the new knowledge gained and being active with it.
Making the father feel bad because you feel bad isn't helping. If he doesn't feel bad because he lost his child then you can't make him feel that. Making him feel bad for your mistake helps nobody.
So, yeah, hey, you made a mistake. It happens. You're human. We all make bad decisions every once in awhile. It doesn't mean you need to keep repeating the mistake or dwelling on the fact that you messed up. It's time to say, "Yeah, I did do that. I'm not happy about it. I'm not proud I did it. But it happened, and I realize that I'm NOT that person. I don't want to be that person. I want to be something better."
When the time comes that you feel you've grown from this lesson, consider being more active in telling your story and how this has made you feel. While some women don't want to listen, some others will have their entire lives changed because you spoke out and acknowledged this. If anything, this one mistake could become an opportunity to save the lives of others.
For some reason, my left breast has been itchy lately and I thought it was just the bra I was wearing, but idk... But, anyway, it's sensitive, so I'm very careful not to scratch too hard, but I noticed just a couple minutes ago that there's a weird shaped scab or something, it's sort of creasant shaped and it's mostly made up of three parts... Uhm, it's not bloody looking or anything... Scab is just the best way I can describe it. Anyway, can anyone tell me what that might be? (link)
Could it possibly be dry skin?
In the winter time I get dry skin on my breasts (and nipples), so I know it can happen. Usually it's just like any other dry skin though. Flaky, white, and sometimes reddish when the skin has become really irritated from the weather. I usually just apply some lotion or some lanolin to the area.
If your bra is too tight it may have rubbed you a little raw in that area and your skin is healing it, causing it to be itchy and irritated.
I did read that some women who don't change their bras often or don't scrub the breasts a little in the shower may experience some dead skin build up in certain areas. I don't know if that's a possibility but I'm throwing that information out there to you in case it applies.
And, last but definitely not least, is it possible you scratched yourself in your sleep a few nights ago and you're just now realizing there's a scab there?
If you're really concerned then see your doctor for a dermatologist referral.
I need to know my composite SAT score for a scholarship application.|
My scores are:
Critical Reading: 660
I've heard that the composite is all three scores, and also that it's only the critical reading and math. (For instance, on one college app it lists my composite as 1310, not 1930). Can anyone lead me to a site or to someone who knows with absolutely certainty? (link)
It requires simple addition, my friend.
Critical Reading + Math + Writing = SAT Score
660 + 650 + 620 = 1930
Your composite score is just the entire score together. Usually colleges will ask for each section score separately, but, of course, some colleges will ask for different, more specific, scores.
Your SAT composite score is simply just made up of the three basic scores (Critical Reading, Math, and Writing), each ranging between 200 and 800. You add these three scores together to get a score between 600 and 2400.
The multiple choice score is a number between 20 and 80, and your essay score is between 0 and 12, but these numbers are not added into the basic equation to formulate your SAT composite score. These numbers are just provided to give you more information about your performance on the test, actually, and are typically not required to be disclosed to any college, university, or educational institute. Essentially, they are meaningless if you have no desire to improve.
when i am climaxing i sometimes "squirt". i don't know if i am peeing or not...? (link)
The fluid that comes out when a woman squirts usually doesn't smell or taste like urine. It also may be a little creamier (thicker) than urine, and may not be yellow-colored (more clear-ish or even ever so slightly white-ish). Women who squirt usually don't squirt enough to make them think they've released a whole bladder full of urine. If you're "squirting" an amount that is usually what you expel when you 'go pee' then it may just be urine that has escaped from the bladder during the excitement.
Other than that, your guess is as good as ours.
I have talked with my 35 yr old son many times to attend college, and he has not done so as of yet. Is there any thing more I can do to get him to see he needs to attend college to make a better life for himself? He says he going but has not. He is very smart and intelligent and made good grades in school. (link)
College is not a requirement for a good, happy life. Right now, it can even cause further problems, leading to loan debt.
There are lots of men and women who didn't attend college and lead very happy, productive lives. In addition, there are a lot of people who did attention college, earned multiple degrees, and decided that those degrees shouldn't be put to use for what they truly wanted to do.
A lot of people don't realize this but there are jobs that don't require a degree but need to be done. It doesn't mean the people doing these jobs are not intelligent or are worthless. It's like saying garbage collectors are worthless beings because they didn't go to college, and that they must lead very unhappy lives. Garbage might not sound ideal, but many collectors absolutely love their jobs and lead extremely happy lives. See what I'm saying?
In my personal experience, I earned three college degrees for absolutely no reason. I almost buried myself in loan debts because I thought I needed a degree to be a happy person and lead a happy life. I didn't really want that though. I ended up getting a job as a cashier for awhile, and, you know what? I really enjoyed it. I've moved on now, without using my degree, to something that has an exceptionally good payrate, great benefits, work incentives and raises, and full-time hours. No special college degree required. And if I'm happy and not struggling to pay my bills then so what, right?
I don't know how many maintenance workers I've met who were so exceptionally happy with their jobs. Many people view the job as low and unfulfilling but I've met many that love what they do and "get by" just fine and dandy in life.
If he WANTS to go to college then that's great. Encourage him, help him, and reassure him that everything is okay.
If it's that YOU want him to go to college then pressuring him is only putting a new burden on his shoulders. He could be very happy the way he's doing right now, or what he really wants to do doesn't even require a degree, but, rather, personal experience.
What you perceive to be a lower, unfulfilled life might not be what he sees. He may be thrilled with his current occupation. He may be truly happy doing a basic job. You can make him do what YOU think he needs to do. He needs to do what he feels makes his life complete.
It might be time to stop pressuring the boy to do what you think is best for him and let him take the reigns of his own life.
hey so i met this guy at the store the other day. he works there and we were talking about movies and then i told him i had to go see if my car is ready. so then he said oh if you want we can go to the movies sometime and he gives me his card and says to call him. he gave me his card. this was on friday, 2 days ago. so when should i call him? (link)
I'd call him today while you're still fresh in his mind and it's early enough in the week that you might even get a chance to go see a flick with him this weekend. :)
Two days is plenty enough time to get the "I'm not desperate" message across. And if you're really into the guy, and sparks were obviously flying, then there's no reason to prolong the wait. The longer you wait, the more you may give off the "not interested" vibe.
When calling him, make sure to give him YOUR phone number and say, "Why don't you give me a call sometime when you're free and we can chat some more?" This goes particularly well at the end of your conversation. If he actually initiates the asking-for the number then he's into you, without a doubt.
It puts it in his hands then and you can see how interested he is in you. If he calls within the next couple of days then you've sparked his interest. If he doesn't then maybe you're just another petty girl.
Wife caught lying about old (boy) |
Talk to her and figure out why she felt the need to keep these things from you. She could have had innocent intentions on not telling you whatever it was about this particular boyfriend. She may have been really embarrassed over a mistake she made. She may have not known the right words to tell you.
Communication is key. Figure out what happened so that you two can prevent this sort of thing in the future. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
so the guy I've been seeing for a good 7 months now came over last night and he said "I can't kiss you my mouth hurts"|
and I said ok? well later that night he's like I want to show you what's wrong and he pulled down his lip and there was this white blister type thing, there were two actually. I immediately thought herpes and I gave him this blank stare and he's like "no it's not what you're thinking I've been getting them since I was young" so I though ok..
but this morning we're laying in bed, I look over and he has all these zit looking bumps on his chin. he has 5 o'clock shadow like 24/7 so I never noticed.
now I'm worried it's herpes. anyone know for sure? (link)
A blood test and swab of the sores will give you accurate information. Otherwise, it's just a guessing game.
Chances of the sores in his mouth being herpes? Pretty high.
Then again, I've read that something like 8 in 10 people in the U.S. will be exposed to HSV-1 (oral herpes) at some point in their lifetime. Exposure means high risk of contraction. An infected person is likely to innocently transfer the disease onto other parties.
I was exposed to HSV-1 (oral herpes) when I was pretty young. My first outbreak was when I was 4 years old. I had NEVER kissed ANYONE on the lips, not even my relatives. I had simply drank after my mother one morning while waiting for the bus. She had a live outbreak going on and neither of us knew it was even contagious.
I grew up for years thinking that coldsores were normal, and that everyone got them. I defended myself. After all, I was only 4 when I contracted it, and, obviously, wasn't sexually active. How could a virgin have an STD...right?
Your boyfriend probably has no idea if it is infact herpes. He just assumes that it must not be since he grew up with it. Sadly, there are a lot of infants that have herpes on their genital region. They grow up not knowing that the outbreaks they have are herpes. Embarrassed parents, who accidentally forgot to wash their hands before a diaper change, are too engulfed in fear that their child will hate them if they spill the beans and say, "Those sores? They're herpes. I spread them to you by accident when you were a baby."
So, it could be herpes. It could very well be either strain (HSV-1 or HSV-2) but you aren't going to know unless he goes to the doctor and is tested for both strains and has the sores swabbed. Bringing this up to him may cause him some embarrassment, and he may end up becoming defensive. If you have a good relationship then maybe you can figure out a way to have this tested so that you can better protect yourself by avoiding oral contact during and after a breakout (if it is herpes).
I am 17 and a straight A student. I was born blind but have had surgry and now i can see but only about 8ft in front of me.|
I am terrible at math and im just trying to finish my senior year. Im in precalc and i havent been able to see the bored or over head my teacher is aware of my handycap but have yet to accomidate me. My mother and the principal have been notified and im really behind in all my work and i just dont know what else to do. The teacher is very tempermental and has waited to yell at me in front of the class even though when i have asked on my own time for a copy of the notes and when i could come in for tutoring. What more can i do???
Note both the teacher and my self are females. (link)
Without a doubt, talk to your principal. Have your mother talk to your principal too.
If the teacher KNOWS about your handicap, and you have made it very clear to her that you are having a very difficult time seeing the work on the board or overhead projector, and she still doesn't do something to made the situation a little easier on you then it's time to move to the next level up. This is the principal. The principal needs to know what is going on.
Have your mother come in with you. Be nice about it. Just tell the principal that you're concerned over your own grades. Tell him/her what your teacher's name is and your course. Explain the situation. Just say you are visually handicapped, and you have made it very clear to the teacher, but you are unable to see the written work on the board. You've tried to ask the teacher for some extra assistance but she has been very neglectful and you're afraid of failing because of this situation.
If your principal is worth anything, anything at all, the teacher will be talked to about this. Just be honest, explain the situation, and be POLITE about it. No need to walk in all defensive in a huffy attitude (I've seen people do this) because this isn't the principal's fault. You have to give them a chance to inform the teacher of this situation, and make it clear that changes need to be made.
"The teacher is very tempermental and has waited to yell at me in front of the class even though when i have asked on my own time for a copy of the notes and when i could come in for tutoring."
If you feel your teacher is belittling you in front of the class, even though you are just asking for some extra help (that she can easily arrange for you) then you absolutely MUST tell your principal about this. Absolutely.
When I was younger I had a teacher who felt she was in a high authority over me. I know teachers are important, and I understand that they must maintain that level of classroom control. But, I was a young kid, and I said something completely innocent--that she took the wrong way for whatever reason. She ended up yelling directly in my face, in front of the entire bus lobby after school, and hit me in the head, telling me that I was stupid. I didn't know what to do because, well, she was a teacher.
I went home and I was pretty upset. I burst into tears in front of my mother because I couldn't figure out what I did wrong and how I could have fixed it. I told my mother what had happened and she called the principal immediately and arranged a meeting with her.
The principal understood the situation. She went to the teacher and talked with her about the inappropriate behavior, and informed her that she needed to make an official apology to me for the belittling. The teacher was scolded for her actions and she never did that to me again.
And that wasn't the only time I had to get the principal's involvement in situations where a teacher couldn't understand. I had some health problems where I needed to leave the classroom occasionally, but many teachers would refuse to allow that. I simply talked to the principal, who informed the teachers that I was absolutely allowed to leave the classroom for a few moments if I needed to because of those medical reasons.
Waiting until your grades have plummeted is your downfall here. Your principal can help the situation, but because you've waited so long it doesn't mean your grades will end up being passing scores. This sort of thing should have been addressed months ago, when you first realized the teacher was refusing to accommodate your special needs. Now that you're more than halfway through the course, you may end up failing anyway. Mathematics tends to build on itself. If you've missed this much class, you might not even be ABLE to play catch up. You certainly SHOULD try though.
Talk to your mother, encourage her to talk to your principal.
Talk to your principal, preferably with your mother.
See what happens. What does your principal suggest. What can he/she do to make it clear to the teacher that there needs to be something altered.
See the principal if things don't improve. Make sure you are clear that your grades are important to you and that you are serious about this. Tell him/her that you have been, and are, trying your best but you need help. Real help.