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I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.

I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.

I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).

I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.

Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.

Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.

Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 14167

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i am unmarried and i had lost my virginity since 2007 and i had my last intercourse in 2010 after it i have never a sexual relationship at all now i am going to get married and how can i satisfied my husband as he do not know about my lost virginity. (link)
You know, I often wonder these days how anyone makes things special between them and the one they end up married to. The best way, seems to me, is to ignore what has been done in the past. I always say I have lived two lives, the one before I married my wife and the one after. Your life my dear starts over with your new husband, he doesn't need to know your past relationships and how far they went. He is the only one that matters now and that is the response you should give him if he asks. He is the one you chose to marry. The only exception should be if you contracted any sexually transmitted diseases that have not been cured, he has the right to know what he's getting into if this is the case.

I guess what I am saying is, these things are often things that you can not clear from your conscious and you have to live with. We should never take lightly doing things we could regret later, because we have to live with regrets, sometimes unforgiven the rest of our lives. Put them behind you and see what your new life brings you, some day, perhaps we will find release from our regrets, just don't expect it and don't expect it to come from others. Don't make others suffer for your regrets, give them a chance to live their lives with no regrets.

Things will always work out for the best if you put your loved ones before yourself. I hope this helps you, Be well my dear spirit.

P.S.If I can be of any more help, contact me this way, I think my advice to open questions are blocked from view of others because of my candor, so I'm not giving advice on the open form any more. If it takes me a few days to get back to you, this is why.

My name is Brenda and I'm 32 years old. My husband is 31, this is his first marriage and my second.

I am at a loss on how to communicate with my husband, it seems that I can do nothing right , to have a conversation is almost impossible and when I bring it up to him I am being dramatic and acting like a victim. I don't know what to do. It just really upsets me when he says I act like a victim. I feel like he just doesn't want to talk with me, but he can talk to his friends.

Help me please. I fear loosing the man I love over something so trivial. (link)
Teach him to say "poor baby" when you start your whining. Only partially joking. First thing you have to recognize is that we all whine, it's a part of our make up. No matter how good you have it, there is something that could be better. There is so much that I don't know about your relationship, but perhaps there is need for a little more humor and a little more self examination on both your parts, but him just telling you your acting like a victim doesn't help. People who like to consider themselves victims, learned this at a very early age and most often don't realize they do it. It takes a lot of effort to break what is a way of life to you. The thing he doesn't understand is, he can't break it, only you can. You can't do it unless you recognize it and want to change it. Now, what you need to find out why does it bother him now, when he married you knowing you were like this. Was he thinking he was going to change you? It is a common misconception that we can change the things we don't like in our mates once we marry them, hell, we think we can do this in our friends. Fact is, you are trying to do this in him. This is the kind of things that you need to talk about and be real, don't tell him you will change, because it is not likely you will. To learn to live with each other, you have to learn to accept the things you can not change and move on with the relationship. I could go on, but I've probably lost you already. A relationship does not grow if you don't communicate with each other, tell him to stop speaking in right wing rhetoric and talk about something that will help you two to understand each other. Be well.

I feel that my classes work well because I bring a very positive attitude to my classrooms, when I speak to students and when I speak to co-workers. The problem is that at the end of the day, I feel absolutely emotionally exhausted from all the politeness, caring, etc.

I was hoping that fellow teachers could lend me some advice or strategies they may have in order to avoid feeling so exhausted at the end of the day. (link)
I am not a teacher, but I come from a family of teachers and I know much of the frustrations of teachers. My step father died at 53 from cancer, many years ago now, he taught right up to the end and I know he wanted to stop many years before that. He seemed to have a good balance in his persona at school and was liked by a good portion of those he taught, but he also could be tough on those who were not well behaved.

There are many frustrations involved in teaching and not being able to be yourself numbers among them, but you know, sometimes seeing your teachers as human beings is not such a bad thing and are lessons in themselves. You are not there to entertain, you are there to get the kids to learn as much as they can and that is difficult at some stages and ages. You don't do them any favors by becoming their friends, or for that matter, their enemies. The challenge of teaching is in getting them to learn as much as they can, but when it comes down to it, the kids need to take responsibility to do it. Anyone can make a difference in anyone's life, but you can not reach god status, you are human. You can not be everything to everybody so stop trying and focus more on the job. Make it fun, but don't spend the whole day entertaining your "audience". Be friendly, but remember kids are people, treat them as such, they know why they are there.

Like everything in life, reach a balance, or you will burn out before your time. I hope this helps you. Strive to be a part, not a hero and in the end, you will be a hero. Be well.

My name is Lilian Owoka, i went through your profile today at and i wish to continue relationship with you if nature will permit we have a long way to go.
to tell you more about myself and including some pictures of myself too. I will like you to get back to me through my private email (
Thanks from Lilian
Sorry, looks like you have been waiting a long time to be come friends. I left the site back 4 years or so. There is so much here not to like. I suspect so many of these questions and I really dislike people rating me on opinion letters. I'm kinda rare among men, I'm a man that likes to talk and explore the way people think and I find so many people here that really just want opinion, not advice, but when they rate opinion, it crosses a line. Disagree with my opinion, but rating it, no one has the right to do that. I hate the fact that I have to stop answering these type posts, but really, there is other places for these things, like blogs etc...

Tell you what, Facebook would be a good place to get to know each other. My name is Rick Gilbertson, my picture is me in the moon. Contact me there, let me know if you can't. I'll give you my business email just in case your not on FB,

Okay, I'm a 15 yr old girl and my mom wants to take me to the gynecologist. She does the laundry for the house. Whenever she does our (my sister's and mine) she always mentions how she notices a certain... substance in my underwear. The thing is that I've noticed as well and it only comes out when I'm... sexually stimulated (by dreams and such. I'm a virgin and I don't masturbate. Shocking, I know). With this being true, I always write it off as me getting wet and ignore it. I'm really terrified to go, but she's thinking about asking my doctor for a referral soon. From anyone who's experienced this before, what should I do? (link)
I am not a girl, nor have I had your problem, but I have been married for a long time and have raised two girls. The only thing I see of concern here is your being scared to see a doctor, even if it is the "GYN". Here is what I suggest, look up "Yeast Infection". It is not likely that you have one, (from your description), but it is the most likely thing for it to be. Though for you it is not very likely. Yeast Infections also come with a rather strong smell and you didn't mention that, you did mention you are not sexually active and yeast infections are very rarely seen in non active females. It is very possible for it to be fluids caused by sexual excitement, there is several types possible. I do think you should make an appointment with a Gyno and talk with him or her and tell them what you have told us here. Doctors are there to talk to, as well as exam. Don't call to schedule an exam, call and tell them you would like to talk with a doctor or nurse, they will ask you what it is about, tell them, they may even tell you then and there what your experiencing and you won't have to go in.

You are fast becoming an adult and you have to put away your shyness of being naked around doctors and frame of mind is where you have to start. Someday, your Gyno will deliver you the best thing life has to bring, your own daughter and you will be there to help her over come her shyness of doctors.

So me and my boyfriend have been dating since august and when we first got together I told him about something i had done. It involved me and someone not of our ethnicity. He is German and has a superiority thing going on. he will constantly bring up the fact that i done this and he tells me that is disgusts him, but then he says that its his own personal demons and that he will just get over it, that it isn't me, its him. The last thing i want my boyfriend to do is to think i am sick. besides it was before i even met him or even knew of him. He said it is what it is and that i cant change it and neither can he but it bothers him ALL OF THE TIME but he wants it to go away because he shouldnt feel like that...what should i do, he is the love of my life and just knowing he feels this way but loves me very much, it crushes me to no end. Help? (link)
You brought this on yourself, you told him about a past lover before you knew if he could handle it. All these people telling you anything different are wrong. Making this right may not be able to happen and I'm sure as long as you stay together you will not help him. This kind of thing is like a demon inside a person and your just waiting for it to come out and attack you. Take what you've learned here and leave, you know what he is, he may come to grips with it when he's old, but the odds are against it. People don't change because another person wants them to, they only change when THEY want to. In the mean time, you are putting yourself in danger. People can say anything, but this is not about what someone says, it is about what he believes. I know you will think about this after you rate me a one. And I hope you can get out after you see I'm right and before you get hurt. Be well dear one.


Sorry, but you are wrong. Her past is hers, telling someone else that she herself did this was totally unnecessary when she could have said a friend of hers did this and a waited his reaction. She did not do this to test him, but I'm not going to try to figure out why she would tell him something that for all she knew could have hurt him at a level she didn't know. You never tell anyone something like this if there is a chance of them being hurt by it unless of course hurting them is what they were after, but I would guess it was more bragging. She made a huge mistake in telling a guy something like this "when we first got together", if it was a test, why did she not drop him many months ago? She made this mistake and she needs to own it and learn from it. If you can get through our life without taking a single secret to the grave, that's great, but everyone has to realize that you may come across those secrets that you may have to take to the grave. Granted, this should not be one, but it is not something you tell someone you don't have a history with and she did. Whether or not you like this, she brought this on herself and she has to realize that she needs to end this relationship for now, because this one was doomed the second she told him this. And if he were a real man, he would have walked away from this once she told him it, he should have known he couldn't handle it. They are both adults responsible for the own mental health. I stand by my original comments and these as well. We all make mistakes and she made a big one here and she needs to learn from it. Be well.

I hate that I can't come anymore unless I grind. I try to get that in my boyfriends head and he won't understand. It's not as exciting for him to watch when I just grind but that's the only times I come. He wants me to do all this and for him I do and then I fake an orgasm practically all the time. I'd love to be able to tell him but I can't. I get too nervous and talk about something else. And now every time we put on a show for each other I have to fake an orgasm and I don't know what to do. What can I say to like hint to this? I know I'm too embarrassed to come straight out with it. And if I do tell him, I know that he will say that oh I've been lying to him and how he can't trust me and he'll get all upset. I've been with him for over a year and I don't want to break up. But I just don't know what I can do anymore. (link)
Now this depends on why you grind. I have found that there is two reasons to grind. Some women have a spot deep in their vagina that if a man has the length to reach, quick stroking it with the head of his penis can cause quite an exciting orgasm. The key here is short stroking once you find it. Despite what they say about the inner vagina having little to no feeling, some women do have this spot. Most women grind to bring the male pelvis against the clitoris, and I'm assuming this is what you do. This requires almost no movement by the guy and most men don't understand this, because all they know is it takes a lot of movement for them personally. First thing I suggest is, stop faking your orgasm with him and tell him you don't have to orgasm in order to enjoy sex with him, but if he does want to learn how to make you orgasm, you can tell him how, then just tell him what I have just told you. If he takes it wrong, well frankly he'd be stupid to do it, any man would. To have a women who's willing to tell you the hidden secrets within is a blessing that I wish I had learned when I was young. He has to learn that one speed does not a lover make. There is time for long and time for short and you know best when those times are. Give your guy clues, not hints, guys don't understand hints.

i am a 16 year old girl and have been close friends with a lovley boy for 5 years now and we have always been close, however he is usually quite intimate calls me beautiful but when others suggest that we should date he ignoors them and wont talk to me. what should i do? (link)
Please don't bother rating me, because this is a guess and is opinion, not advice. Also, by the time you find your answer, this post will be long gone. In my opinion he is not ready for a relationship, but he more then likely likes you a lot. Leave him time, let him come to you. You just have to be there.

My boyfriend fingers me all the time. And it hurts so bad at first every time. Sometimes it'll start to feel good after a while and sometimes it just feels like he's torturing me. And I just don't know what's wrong because my friends say that even after having sex a few times, it doesn't hurt anymore, and this is just a finger. How will we ever be able to have sex? (link)
Use lubricant and don't put so much attention on insertion, most of the feelings are in and around the entrance of the vagina.

hello, im18F
im a student and there's this guy in my class who im crazy about. I liked him since we first met and now after more than six months we have become real good friends. We sit together, and are in the same group in college. I really like him alot but how do i know if he likes me?
I like advising people on their relations but i suck at my own.
I terribly afraid of rejection, and i don't want it to be something just for fun.
I think about him all the time, and i long for a single message everyday.. What's do i do?
PS: im not really pretty or extremely attractive, i feel it may be a reason he may not feel the same:/ (link)
Many people are going to tell you to confess your feelings to him, but I'm going to tell you the opposite. Just continue your relationship and develop it. When a good movie comes to a theater near you, ask him if he wants to go. Go buy some gift cards to a theater then tell him you have a couple of gift cards and ask him if he would like to go to a movie. He will think you got them as a gift. There is a lot of things you can do to get him to spend more time with you and perhaps one day one of those things will lead to a kiss. Many of us guys are stupid at that age and hints just don't work, but what ever you do, don't admit you are crazy about him, it takes away the challenge that should be the pursuit of you. Let him think you are not the one in control, that he is. I know this is probably confusing, but it has worked for many, many thousands of women throughout time. It worked on me. Don't try to speed this up, it sets the relationship on fast forward and takes the magic out of it. If he is a romantic, it could take a lot out of what should be a real great time for you both.

I have been thinking about society's double standard on how one night stands are viewed as, depending on whether a man or woman has one. I am 28, female and have had three one night stands before, two of which I regretted, one which I did not regret- simply had fun with and did not make anything of it. I am confident and comfortable enough in my own skin, that I don't use sex to create a false sense of emotional connection with someone I don't know. Sometimes I just want to have sex and enjoy it, no pressure. Although I don't turn every encounter with a man into a one night stand, I have hadsex on the first date before. But it leaves me feeling like for a guy it's no big deal, while women (I hope I am wrong about this) might get branded as some sort of easy slut. Men get horny and just want sex sometimes, and so do women. Some men want the emotional connection there first, and so do some women. I find myself wavering between these two, depending on the situation.

I'd like to hear people's thoughts on this:

a) if a woman has sex on the first date or just a one night stand, does it make you think she's a slut (aka, you stop taking her seriously)?

b) what is your opinion on a one night stand? Do you think there is a double standard, and do you agree with it?

I've been thinking about this, because it bothers me that a guy in my shoes would probably feel perfectly fine about having one night stands, where although I can sometimes just have sex for fun and be okay with it, I am left wondering if it would make some people think of me as a "slut." (link)
I will answer, but if you expect us not to judge you, do us the favor of not judge us, in other words, don't rate people for their opinions here.

My opinions are and always have been; it is none of my business what kind of life style someone else wants to live. Never speak to others what your life style choices are. Live the life you can live with. I have no right to judge the life style of others. And there is no right or wrong life styles, only right or wrong life styles for me.

There is nothing in your life style that is wrong, if you don't feel it is wrong. As to labels, I don't use them.

I asked you not to rate my opinion and you do so anyway. I'm done with conversation pieces in an advice column. I don't care what others think about my opinion and I don't believe anyone has the right to judge me except my God. The first thing you need to learn is respect for others young lady, and respect for their wishes.

If you wish to discus other written opinions, they are different and many, I know them too, but I don't hold to them. Be well.

I am 20 years old with a son that will be 3 in July and a daughter turning 2 in September. I recently found out I am 24 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I had talked to a family friend about adopting my child, but soon changed my mind. I didn't want my daughter to be with total strangers never knowing if I could see her again. My aunt and uncle that live 2 hours away from me said they would like to adopt her. I just don't know how I feel about it. I really Want to keep her. But I just now got back into college and have no money. I think its just me being selfish because her life wouldn't be what she deserves. I am gettting my tubes tied and realize this will be my last baby. Should I tough it out and keep her? Or should I send her to a trusted family member?
I'm not going to answer this question, so please don't rate this just consider it a normal conversation. No one could possibly answer this question by one paragraph of information without knowing you personally, but I can give you somethings to consider like, what is really important to children. My experience is the number one thing is Love. Kids don't care about anything else if they know that you love them and you can keep their tummy satisfied. So first I'm going to ask you is, is their anyone else out there that can love your child as you can? Keeping tummy's happy are not the problem it use to be.

Now, my other question for you is, with family near, why does this have to be a matter of adoption? Many families help other family members out by taking care of each others children. A child has a lot of love in them so sharing love is not hard for them to do. Ask your aunt and uncle if they would be willing pay a lawyer to draw up some papers that would give shared custodial rights in emergencies should you not be there.

There are ways to take care of this without confusing the child. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you well.


Me and my boyfriend I guess had sex but I don't think he "popped my cherry" so am I still a virgin or no? My friend says since his dick was inside of me im not.. and how do I know if he popped my cherry or not??/: (link)
Sorry, but breaking your Hyman is easy and often it is done by things where you don't realize you did it. This was taken from a web site, "Its been told that the hyman is located at the opening of the vagina. but from personal experience, the hyman is actually located no more than 3-4inches within a womans vagina. Also, the hyman does not always determine wheather are not a girl is a virgin. The hyman is a delacate layer of skin, which can be torn by doing vigarouse activities, such as bike riding,masterbation with a dildo, doing splits,getting hit near it and etc... So the hyman does not always determine virginity." This is taken from Wikipedia, "The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It forms part of the vulva, or external genitalia, and is similar in structure to the vagina.[1][2][3] In children, although a common appearance of the hymen is crescent-shaped, many shapes are possible.[1]

The effects of sexual intercourse and childbirth on the hymen are variable. If the hymen is sufficiently elastic, it may return to nearly its original condition. In other cases, there may be remnants (carunculae myrtiformes), or it may appear completely absent after repeated penetration.[3][4][5] Additionally, the hymen may be lacerated by disease, injury, medical examination, masturbation or even physical exercise. For these reasons, it is not possible to definitively determine whether or not a girl or woman is a virgin by examining her hymen"

As you can see, The Hyman can be shallow to 3 or 4 inches in, though the 3 to 4 inches comes from personal experience. Everything I know about it says it is much closer and I know from my wife's experience as a little girl that you can tear the Hyman by bike riding etc... I also know that the bleeding can be anything from next none, to what some would consider a lot. The pain of your Hyman breaking can be anything from very little to none, or a fairly good amount of pain, much depends on how you break it. To sum up; this means if your boyfriend has a member longer then 3-4 inches and entered you all the way, it is not likely that you still have your Hyman intact, but it could happen depending on its shape. As too, are you a virgin, I think these articles statements on the fact that the Hyman is not a good indicator of virginity answers that.

so i just had sex for the 4th time and it hurt alittle but all the times i had sex didnt feel good even this one is that normaly also he makes me really wet but still dosent feel good (link)
Need more details, is he too big, to long, or are you drying out, all these things are curable. If he's too long, tell him to take it slower and easier so you can adjust to his length, if his member is too fat, tell him to go slower and give you time to adjust and use lubrication. If your drying out, use lubrication. If he is just overall being too rough, tell him you need him to slow down. Painful sex can get you drying out fast and in minutes he can be out pacing your ability to provide your own natural lubricant. Sex has much experimenting evolved, if your boy friend doesn't understand this and doesn't want's to work with you to help to understand your body, he would have to be stupid.

i feel so much pain when my bf do anal sex with me my age and bf age 21,his pines 8 inch long and fat sometimes i m cry so much plz advice pian free sex (link)
Good lubricant and lots of it and tell him to take it slowly and give you time to adjust. There will always be a little pain at the start because of the sphincter muscle, you just have to wait for that muscle to expand before he continues insertion this should be a very slow process.

I am 24 years old and I think i might be pregnant here is my problem my mom says that I have the mind of a 13 year old legally she has court ordered custody of me and has papers saying that I cannot take care of myself and i afraid that if i am pregnant she will be able to force me to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption because we don't have the money to take care of a baby right now my mom is sick and had to retire earlier from her job because she was sick and could no longer work the boss drove her home that day and said come back when your better but she never did get better. we don't have any room for a baby we live in a 2 bedroom house 1 bathroom and we already have 3 kids living with us that my mom has custody of. I am also afraid that my boyfriend will go to jail for statutory rape laws because of how young i am in my mind please help me i am scared. (link)
You have gotten a lot of good advice here, there are two types of law to consider. She could have just control of your money, or control over your health and well being, or both and you need to know just what it is she has. The one thing you should know is your boy friend can be in great trouble, but he could also have some power in the whole thing. There is what is called vulnerable adults, if you are classified as one, he could be brought up on charges. However, this most likely will not keep him from his rights as the father. First thing is to find out if you are truly pregnant, second and you should do this no matter what, talk to a lawyer and get a second opinion on your mental status, things change, people change. Even with a 13 year old mentality, there are rights you should have, but like others have said, I question the validity of you having a 13 year old mentality, you seem to have a better grasp on what is happening here then a 13 year old would.

I cheated on my boyfriend of 8 years for a period of a year and a half with a guy at work and two times with a guy half my age. He knew before i told him and still took care of my kids that he has helped raised. He has had a meth problem but was clean for 5 years but went back to it and left for about 4 months. Now that he is back and we are trying he thinks that things are going on here at the house all the time. He has gotten high a couple times since then and when he does it gets really bad. I am not doing anything but he has recorded some voices that i have no clue about and i dont know what to tell him. He is going crazy and i understand but i really havent done anything in over a year. What do i do? Are we totally doomed? (link)
I really can't tell you what to do, but I will tell you what your priority is and that is your kids. Once you become a parent, your responsibility is to keep them from any potential harm you can conceivably keep them out of. Failure is not an option! Make your choice, everything else is just chaff. Duty, Duty, Duty.

Do you guys honestly think that everyone is destined to meet someone? Especially during a certain time of their life.
I feel like everyone around me has someone or has people in their life they could potentially be with. Whereas me, I don't know anyone who I can see myself with at all. I'm about to be 21 and I can honestly say I've never really been in true love before and Im scared because my life is going to get tougher and more hectic as I continue with school and my career and I'm worried I won't find anyone. I'm also worried that the longer I hold out on finding someone, the more people I could have potentially be with, will find someone else. Sorry for sounding a bit confusing with my thoughts. But what do you think? (link)
You're dealing with fate here, most romantics think you are fated to find your only, but I feel your fate is determined by your actions. You will find whomever is on the path you have chosen to follow. Do you really think that if you choose the path of say a druggy, that your going to find your great love to be a doctor, or a lawyer? No the odds are it's going to be a druggy and you'll live with most of your money going to drugs. If there is anything I've learned from life is that you will find many people that you will love and you will surely marry one of them, but with everyone of them you choose a different life. You can choose to find your love at any time, or to die single, some have, but until you choose a path, how is it you can find the love that will choose to walk it with you? Don't waste your time looking, until you find your path and never waste your time on someone who doesn't know their path. It is in wanting to follow the same path that you will find your bliss.

i think i have anger issues or a very relaxed person(or i think i am) but somethings just make me so angry and some people and i hide it,that anger,beneath my smile,but sometimes it gets too much and it mixes with sadness(im depressed) and i feel like im going to breakdown and i do,and im angry but also so sad and i feel hopeless for me and the world,it has become a bad place,theres so much pain,and i cry,i cry a lot,this started to happen a lot lately(couple months) and at night i cant sleep,theres so much on my mind and i feel so sad,it hurts so much,but i cant cry,i feel empthy and im not like the other depressed teens that are insecure or something,im very confident,i habe friends,amazing parents,but i feel like im alone,theres so much,i cant take it,i might do something to myself,and i ask myself how did i let it go so far? what went wrong? why do i feel this way? will i make it? i really dont expect to get a good answer to this,but still i have a need to tell someone so...

girl,15 (link)
Relax, it's your age more then anything, but your problem with the world is another thing. You're not alone in seeing the bad things in this world, many people do. But you know what, most people think they can change the world and set out to do so and give up eventually. They give up because you can't change the world, but you can take care of your own back yard. Make things better around you, help out in your city and by doing so you will encourage others too. We can only do so much, so find what you want to try to help with and work on it, let others work on what they want to and things get better. People think they can't do anything to change the world and it's true, they can't, but they can change "their" world, just by being in it. You look to people for answers, but what you don't understand is that everyone has their own answers and some of their answers are to do nothing, you need to choose what your answers are, hopefully you choose to make a difference.

Response to Rating:

I'm just asking, "why did you rate me, there is no real question here, nor did you ask any advice, you only ask yourself questions. I thought you just wanted to talk to someone and you posed some interesting thoughts so I responded. I guess I need to stop responding to people who don't ask for any real advice.

ive asked myself this a lot of times,why am i depressed?
i have great parents that are so openminded,i have friends,i go to an awsome private school that i love,i have nice clothes,i have a pet that i love,ive traveled,i get almost anything that i wont,i have sort of good grades,im not insecure,not a skinny gurl,but i love myself the way i am,sooooo why am i so sad,why do i spent nigh after night crying for hours and hours? what went wrong? whats the reason for this unhappiness? it hurts so much and the only reason that i dont kill myself are my oarents,it would ruin them. but i dont know if ill make it,im 15 and already so damaged,what will that turn into after a few years? will i take it,im strong,very string,but im feeling like ill break,can you help me please (link)
Hormones, that is your simple answer. Don't let them rule your life, just get through them any way you have too. Beware of any suggestion of drugs, but don't count them out. Mones are tough at many fazes of life, but recognizing them is more then half the battle. Try doing things that take you away from your regular, realize that there is much more for you out there, no matter how traveled you are. "See" what lies under everything, don't look, "see", there is a difference. Live your life, don't just fill it. When you come to know, understanding will follow. Be well dear spirit.

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