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to give baby up for adoption or not
I am 20 years old with a son that will be 3 in July and a daughter turning 2 in September. I recently found out I am 24 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I had talked to a family friend about adopting my child, but soon changed my mind. I didn't want my daughter to be with total strangers never knowing if I could see her again. My aunt and uncle that live 2 hours away from me said they would like to adopt her. I just don't know how I feel about it. I really Want to keep her. But I just now got back into college and have no money. I think its just me being selfish because her life wouldn't be what she deserves. I am gettting my tubes tied and realize this will be my last baby. Should I tough it out and keep her? Or should I send her to a trusted family member?
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I honestly think this has to be your own decision.. Money does not bring happiness to a child its about the love you give them and im very sure you give this.
I personally would pull through it.. Dont under estimate your ability of motherhood. :)
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Let me tell you a story: There was a girl, aged 16. Her dream was to be a nurse but that dream was soon shattered. She became pregnant and at the age of 17 had her first daughter. Everyday was tough. She woke up early in the morning to go to high school after restless nights. She eventually graduated and decided to go to college. The problem was...she came out pregnant to her second daughter. Still determined to get an education she relied on WIC, foodstamps and work. The money was tight but her kids didn't noticed. They noticed a loving mother who was there for them. She finally finished her associates degree, but not in nursing ...in human services. Two more kids later she is working on her bachelor's degree. If she hadn't had her daughter she would of been working at a place she would not want to. Her life would have been different but not as rewarding. This girl is now 27 years old with 4 children. It was tough at first financially, but that only lasted a season. It made her wiser, stronger and made her love harder. She is now financially stable, but it took her some time. I know that girl very well because that girl was me.
There are resources available for you if you need it. This is only a season and one day you can sit back with all your children knowing you worked hard to be the best mother you can be. Giving your baby a better life does not necessarily mean you have to give them everything they want or everything you think they want. Your heart says you should keep her and you seeking advice means you love her. Please think about this because the decision is yours. Hope this helps.
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I'm not going to answer this question, so please don't rate this just consider it a normal conversation. No one could possibly answer this question by one paragraph of information without knowing you personally, but I can give you somethings to consider like, what is really important to children. My experience is the number one thing is Love. Kids don't care about anything else if they know that you love them and you can keep their tummy satisfied. So first I'm going to ask you is, is their anyone else out there that can love your child as you can? Keeping tummy's happy are not the problem it use to be.
Now, my other question for you is, with family near, why does this have to be a matter of adoption? Many families help other family members out by taking care of each others children. A child has a lot of love in them so sharing love is not hard for them to do. Ask your aunt and uncle if they would be willing pay a lawyer to draw up some papers that would give shared custodial rights in emergencies should you not be there.
There are ways to take care of this without confusing the child. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you well.
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