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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: April 2, 2014
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Hi, I'm sorry, I didn't really know which category to put this in. If you could help me I would be grateful.

So I went to a school dance years ago and a random guy that I didn't know walked up and started dancing with me. It was okay at first but things started getting more...skeptical, I guess. He got behind me and started grinding up against me, and his hands held me at my waist. I felt slightly uncomfortable at this point but didn't say anything. Then his hands moved over the spot where my genitals were and his fingers were rubbing against that spot. That was when I tried to move away, but he just pulled me back and did it more. I tried to say 'no' and 'stop' but it didn't come out very loudly. I tried moving away several times.

My question is..is this considered sexual assault? (link)
Yes. Any time someone attempts something of a sexual nature to you and you have clearly said "NO" no matter the volume or tone of voice it's assault. You should tell an adult you trust be it a teacher, parent or ANYONE and be sure the person who did this is swiftly dealt with. Your telling the truth may prevent him from taking advantage of others. No means no.


I am a high school senior and I cannot imagine any more of this hell. Sitting in a classroom being lectured about irrelevant information is not in any way fulfilling or satisfying to me. The idea that I am stuck going to class every day for the next portion of my life is almost too much for me to handle. The "core curriculum" sounds like death and I do not want to spend the entirety of my young life being lectured and assigned readings over western civilization in the precolombian times.
I thought this feeling would end once I graduated HS but I know now that is not going to be the case.
I want to go out and make a difference in someone's life. I want to travel, photograph, listen to music, meet people, and just make something of my life. I cannot handle irrelevant classes and busy work for 4 more years without going insane and becoming clinically depressed.

Not going to college is not an option so don't suggest that. (link)
College isn't like high school. When you apply for the program you want to do all of the courses are relevant to it.

You may have to do 1 or 2 college English courses during a 3-4 year program but the thrust is on your field of study almost all the time with a community college.

University is different as yes you have to study irrelevant material as part of what your degree say you must have to graduate.

It sounds as though what you need to do is take a year off and decide what you truly want to do with your life during that time. Travel now, take the photography classes that will make you happy, experience music, theater and culture and relax for awhile.

I doubt your parents will mind much if they know you intend on going to college but have no idea what you want to study yet and need to explore it further. After all, you are spending their money so best to get it right.

It's NOT courses or school that makes you clinically depressed. It's an illness and sure these things don't help but do not cause it. If you feel depressed, aren't interested in much that you used to or feel trapped, unable to function see a doctor. It can make a big difference for you.



I have a corn snake around 5 /6 months old i have been feeding him pinkies but today i tries him on fuzzies at the start he wouldn't touch the fuzzie but after about half an hour he started eating but then he struggled to eat it but eventually did... But im just wondering if i should still keep him on pinkies which i give every 7 days or start him on fuzzies any help and advice will be appreciated (link)
Try calling these guys and explain what snake you have and ask why it won't eat. They're expert at Reptillia whereas the pet shop won't be. http://www.reptilia.org/


Hello advicenators,

I am going to be buying a "new used" car pretty soon. I got a new job recently and I will be able to afford the payments. Im looking to spend somewhere in the $18-25,000 range. I don't want to buy something I'll regret with that amount of money. I have never bought from a dealership before.

What are some tips? What are some things I should look out for (Any salesmen tricks I should be wary of, or extra things that I shouldn't be paying for?) I'm a girl in my 20s that knows pretty much nothing about cars (other than how to fill up oil and change a tire-the basics) and I totally expect to be taken advantage of when it comes to cars. I'm not stupid but there's a lot of car stuff I don't know.

So anything helps, really. I'm going to do some test drives this weekend. I've researched and decided on a couple of different makes and models based on extensive internet searches and reviews. I would like to be prepared before I go.

Thank you! (link)
Read Lemon Aid Guide to Used Cars. They have one for new cars too. In it is each car maker's models by year, recalls, and common problems.

Use that and take someone with you who knows about buying cars when testing them and potentially purchasing. Be ready to walk away from a deal or if something doesn't sit right. You want someone with you who is accustomed to hearing engine knocks, knows handling etc. Never buy a car that pulls to one side or the other. It's had an accident.


I work with a guy that comes to work drinking starts complaining and making facial expression at me no matter what I do or don't do....I do what I am suppose to do he has his own work to do but feels if we are not helping him....we are goofing off....we are only obliged to help him if nothing else is on the table....I also have other duties now which he seems to resent and complains about me and rolls his eyes....from what I understand it is a form of bullying should I come right out and ask him what his problem is? I do my fair share he would like everyone else to do his work....he only likes you if you do he is very childish and when hes not there everyone comments on how nice the employee morale is. (link)
Your boss likely knows that this is his personality and that he has a drinking (and or other) problems. But you are right in the fact you don't have to take the abuse, comments, anything that creeps you out.

Approach your boss or human resources person and illustrate how this person behaves around you and that you are uncomfortable and it affecting your job. Let them handle the situation.

It's 100% the wrong thing to do in talking to him yourself and especially asking him "what's your problem?" If you do that it becomes a pissing contest and a nasty one as now he has reason to tell others you went after him.

Your superiors can handle the situation and no doubt other people are or will complain about what he has done on their own or as a group. Hang in there it will work out but not usually not instantly. That's the trouble with human resource decisions. Try distancing yourself if you can as much as possible at work also.


Im 14, 15 in september and my Boyfriend is 19, nearly 20. We both really like each other and he hasnt tried to do anything I dont want to do. But our parents dont know we are dating and im not sure how to, or if I should tell them, what do you think i should do? (link)
The law and society sees you correctly as a child because you are under 18 and are 14. They also view him as an adult which he is at 20-years-old.

It doesn't matter if anything happened that shouldn't it's not legal nor right morally or otherwise for him to pursue a relationship with you. He should find someone his own age and you most certainly should tell your parents about this. They need to know as it's not right as much as you may like him--it's quite wrong. You need to tell someone as his interest is unnatural and potentially much more harmful than you know.


My mother's last boyfriend was a bit unstable. He drank excessively, smoked marijuana, and couldn't manage his money, instead spending it on everything and anything. He recently lost his job, and out of pity my mother let him move back in with us. It's all ready been 4 months and though he's found a job he isn't leaving. He makes everyone uncomfortable. He plays really loud music so that the neighbours complain and drinks and smokes in the house. He hit my brother when he told him to stop. My mother's tried confronting him but he just twists her words around and says 'are you going to throw me on the streets?' and yesterday, I was alone in the house with him, and he was worse than usual and started screaming at me to undress because im such a whore. I don't feel safe in the house, and I'm just a bit scared and worried. Advice? (link)
You mother loves him so either turns a blind eye and or is also scared of him simultaneously. He's a bully and has no right to strike you or your brother. It's called assault and he should be charged with it. That would change everything.

What you should do is find an adult you really trust be it a teacher or relative and tell them the truth about how abusive your home life is and what he's doing with drugs, hitting people, threatening them and excessive drinking and especially the demands to undress because he thought you were a "whore."

It's disturbing but they can intervene and talk to your mother and provide you with counselling and other support. You need to talk to your mother both you and your brother in a controlled setting about the kind of damage this guy is inflicting and that maybe she should ask him to leave. Your welfare needs to be first.


can anyone suggest a good plot from my next story please ? (link)
I'm not sure I read this question correctly. From what I can gather you are a storyteller with writer's block and lack of a setting or idea for a story.

What you should ask yourself first is "who are my audience?" Try to think of what they like about your stories if you have written others. Then think about themes, topics or ideas you want to explore that don't necessarily have to connect together but through your story will.

That's how you develop characters. Think of what you would want to read and grabs you and then write the kind of story you would gravitate to. Don't worry the best writing takes time. If hitting a block come back to it later.

If I suggested a plot to you than there would be no good in it or value to you. Essentially, I would be the writer in that case. You have great ideas within you. You just have to wait, listen for them and try writing what you feel in the moment.


Ok I was wondering if fingering can make your period late. My boyfriend has fingered me about 10 times over the past month and I was supposed to get my period 5 days ago, and I still haven't gotten it yet. I normally get cramps right before I get my period and I haven't gotten any cramps this time. I have never been fingered before so I don't know if this is normal or not. My period has been regular for two years before this so I'm really worried. I know my boyfriend wasn't masturbating or anything before he fingered me because all the times it happened we have been sitting on the couch watching a movie. I know they say that stress or a lot of physical activity can affect your period but I haven't been stressed at all lately and the only physical activity I have been doing is soccer practice but that is pretty normal for me. I'm really starting to get worried because I have had my period be late, but no more than 2 days, so having it be late for 5 days now is starting to scare me. (link)
There is no correlation. I'm not a doctor so I can't tell you factors for why it's late but you can cross this off the list.


Where is the best place to get last minute hotel deals without having to book a hotel they won't tell you the name of until you pay? Any site you like personally? (link)
That sounds pretty darn sketchy. Giving credit card details and payment for a hotel you don't get to know of until paid sounds weird. Hotwire.com has all the deals and lists from what I can see hotels by name and shows rates. Hopefully, that is where to start looking.


I'm 15 and my friends(a little older than me) have been dating all that stuff.
I'm homechooled,and I live in a really small town so I don't really know any guys, and I really don't have much of a desire to date.

My family is Christian(I even live across the street from my church) and conservative.
I was wondering about when I have a boyfriend. I would have no idea what to do since I've never dated before, And considering that my freinds have already done sexual things, I'm worried he'd pressure me.

I would much rather wait to lose my virginity(preferably till marrage),I don't want a relationship to be all about sex and making out and stuff, I want it to be like we're best friends and all I really need is a guy who is nice, has a sense of humor, and treats me well.

I don't know...I guess I'm just afraid that when I do get a boyfriend he'll try to pressure me to do stuff I'm not ready for and I might not be able to say no... I'm really shy and I just don't know how to talk to guys either... (link)
When you begin to want to date someone be straight up about your beliefs, upbringing and what you are uncomfortable with. Most people who like you will not bat an eyelash on that. If you don't want to do something don't and be firm on it.

As for talking to guys it's no different than talking to someone else. Just treat them like you would a normal conversation. You never said why you are home-schooled but perhaps its time to consider being with your peers as the lack of socialization i definitely hurting you.


So I started chatting with a stranger on a chat website (non-dating) and we're the same age and have a ton in common, and we've been chatting back and forth for the past few weeks... however, he recently uploaded a picture of himself (first one I've ever seen) and (NOT saying he's ugly) he's really not my type, looks-wise. He said, after he uploaded it, that he understands if I want to break contact whenever. How do I non-chalantly and politely... ditch him?

14/f (link)
This really doesn't say anything positive about your character. If it were your picture a person saw and they decided to no longer like you because of it what would you feel like? Beauty is only skin deep.

Don't judge him by his looks but rather who he is. You don't have to want to date him but you should not cast aside a potential friend or someone you like talking to.


I didn't finish my book club homework and I accidentally left the book “Number the Stars" at school and now it's Saturday,I teared up the questions I didn't do and decided to say my sister did it, but now I'm afraid my teacher will want me to tell her the answers, so please, quickly, tell me if you read the book: How does mamma divert the soldiers from opening the casket? Why do you think the psalms are important? And: How does Peter help the others relax and calm down after the soldiers left? I didn't read chapter 10, didn't know that we had to, help! (link)
This is a homework question. The entire idea of your teacher' assignment is for you to read and find out the answers and write a paper yourself.

You need to visit a bookstore or library. Pick up up the book there or read it in store or library and get the work done. Phone a friend for a list of the questions you need. The teacher won't grade you if you don't hand it in nor will they buy a sibling tore it up either.


I know this is an interesting question, but I was wondering.. should I get up at nighttime to wee? I'm only fourteen and every time I do get up to use the toilet, I end up staying up! So should I go to the toilet, or should I just stay in bed. I don't drink water before bed and.. I just don't know what to do. Help?? (link)
If you have to urinate go. I'm not sure why you would be unable to sleep afterward. What you should do if concerned about this and an increase in frequency you are going is consult a physician.


Thinking about baby names. WDYT of these?

Aaron Bennett
Joseph James "Joe"
Matthew David or Matthew Joseph "Matt"
Wesley Richard "Wes"
Calvin Clayton
Cole Brandon
Nicholas Andrew "Nick"
William Trent "Will"
Jacob Mitchell
Noah Daniel
Richard ? "Ritchie"


Alexia Ann
Addy Teresa (Teresa is after my mom)
Kennedy Rebekah (Rebekah is after my aunt)
Daisy Jane
Emily Gwendolyn
Jessica Elizabeth
Jane Elizabeth
Meagan Ann
Amy Lea (pronounced Lee)
Melissa Lea (pronounced Lee) (link)
It's not what we think of the name. It's what you think of the name and whether you believe decades from now it's not a burden on the child.

You don't want something bland or uncommon but you don't want an exotic name or one that may have an unintended reaction ie: could be mocked or rhymed.

You want something that stands out for a male and is a strong sounding name when spoken. As for a female something feminine. Never chose a name that every kid seems to have these days unless it has special meaning to you and clicks.


I used to be a really nice person but now not so much what are some things I can do to be nice? (link)
Figure out what the behavior is that people aren't responding well to. If you know what you are doing that isn't nice stop doing it.

That's the first step. Next treat people exactly the way you want them to treat you. When you do both these things and are consistent you'll fair better.


Hi, I'm fourteen girl and I'm tired of everyone treating me different. No body will tell me what's wrong with me and I'm tired of it.. everyone treats me like I'm from another planet.. I cry every day about this because I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I have terrible social skills&&i have no friends. I have no one, no one seems to understands what I'm going thru. I tried talking to my family, and they only made it worse. I've considered harming myself because everyone seems to think different of me. People stare at me, punch&kick me. A girl in my class(she hardly knows anything about me) and she said, it's what I focus on. This may sound stupid, but I feel like everyone knows something about me that I don't even know. Please, please, tell me what's wrong with me? It's driving me nuts!!!!! Advice is much appreciated!! Thanks in advance. (link)
You need to learn who you really are and hold to that as it is what matters. You cannot control what others think. It's irrational and paranoid thinking to believe they all know something untrue about you or are against you.

If you have a lot of anxiety and want to physically harm yourself than that's a red flag. The same goes with no social skills/life. You aren't "nuts" but do need to have mental-health professionals evaluate the situation because you aren't functioning normally and help you overcome this. It's really the only logical step you can take.

I don't know why others have kicked or bullied you but do tell adults about it and defend yourself as that's what's best. If bullies see you aren't someone they can physically or mentally challenge than they move on gradually.


Okay, my name is Allison. I am 15 years old. So, this year I started being friends with a bunch of drugies. &' I really love it. They have gotten me into all of that stuff. My ex-boyfriend is named Sam. He was the reason why that all happened. When he first asked me out I was so excited. We are an on &' off again kinda thing. He was my first that I slept with. &' only so... But, the reason I am Telling you all of this is because my dad doesn't want me to see Sam anymore &' he says my friends are bad influences. What should I do? (link)
It's time to wake up. There is nothing cool about doing drugs. Your friends sooner or later will realize this or suffer life-altering problems later or ones that bring fort death. There is nothing glamorous about that lifestyle.

Real friends don't lead people into a world of drugs. If you love this than you really need help. Your father is right about the boyfriend and your choice of friends and activities. If only he knew. You need to obey him and start thinking if these people and drugs is where you see yourself. Are you doing it to fit in? At either rate you aren't seeing how self-destructive any of this is. That startles me.


So i got my 1st period few months ago and i already had it few times, i always tried to tell my mom but i didnt know how to.. And one time i got it , it left red mark on my bed and she saw it and asked me what is this and i said i dont know and i feel horrible for lying to her !! Please help (link)
The more interesting question is why lie? You both know this is normal and expected part of development. There shouldn't be any secrets. She's your mother and has been in your position. If you find it hard to talk about try writing a note explaining it embarrasses you to address it in person.


I have a crush on this guy.He's 19.He likes me but just as a friend , not even a close friend.i always have to knock him and he replies with short answers and sometimes he doesn't even reply.I told him that i like him and all he said was "aww".i also asked him "why don't you feel the way I feel about you?" and he told me that "You're a kid". But guys older then him asked me out , why does he feel that way?I mean I want him very badly.Don't know what to do :( (link)
I hate to confirm bad news but you're wasting your time. He's not into you at all and perhaps not even as a friend. If he's acting weird with you screw it. You tried. There's nothing you can do to change it.

As far as the "kid" remark perhaps in his view you're too young or he means it in terms of intellect or maturity (ouch) in comparison to himself.

Either way as hard as it is to deal with unrequited feelings I would move on. This way you don't get hurt further than you are feeling now. The only person who can tell you why he feels this way is himself.

Unfortunately whether he's sparing your feelings or just isn't forthcoming the reason doesn't matter. It won't change things but only make you miserable. Look for someone worthy of what you have to offer.




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