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Should I Reveal the Truth?
Hello, I am a female in my mid 20s. When I was 19 years old I was sexually assaulted by this guy I just met and was dating. I didn't tell anyone, not even my friends. I was in college and it really messed me up to where I became depressed and had to take a break from school. I am now on antidepressants and am seeing a therapist. My therapist does not know what happened because I did not tell her, and therefore she hasn't been able to help me with it. My question is, should I tell my parents what happened? They want to know why I haven't finished school yet and why I stopped going when I had a full scholarship. To be honest, I was too embarrassed to tell them what happened, and I was afraid they would blame me. I am trying to get my life back in order but I am having a hard time opening up about this. I feel like my parents see me as a failure, and they always ask why am I depressed, but I just say I don't know. After 5 years should I finally tell them what happened?
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The only person who should feel shame is the person who violated you. This was never your fault and you are a victim. While it takes a lot of courage to talk about it the best person you could tell is your therapist because they have the ability and the right training and resources to really help you handle it and move forward.
It will take time. It's incredibly important to let therapists know everything about you or you won't get effective help. Your parents will always be 100% on your side and will help you no matter what. They will not be angry at all at you or upset or any of the things you may be fearing over what happened. A
All of that would be directed at the perp who did this. They should know because they will be in your corner and able to help you cope. I would tell them as soon as possible.
They will not be ashamed of you or view you as a failure but rather see how this has crippled you and that you haven't been able to function at all since. They will get you the help you need.
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You are suffering something like PTSD as of course it was a traumatic thing to experience. It is not something to be embarrassed about. You should definately tell your therapist of all people because she can not help you probably deal with it until she knows. If she is not licensed to deal with PTSD or if she isn't helping you, find someone who does know how to help.
As for your parents, the change in you is a big one and I know from experience that even the best and most observant parents, can be fooled by their child if they are covering something up, like my oldest and her depression which didn't come out until she did way worse with added post partum depression after her first child. Thats when she finally told me. So unless you say something to Mom, she won't know and can't help
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