ask solidadvice4teens

I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 133546

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This meant a lot to me thank you!

Thank you! That really helped a lot and things are better for me now.

Thank you for taking the time to answer this and I will look into what you said : )

Thank you for the advice!

Thank you so much for help ..

This is excellent advice. I hadn't thought about just staying on the premises long enough to fulfill medical/legal requirements...plus solidadvice4teen's perspective is savvy, from a direction I hadn't considered. It's street-smart advice, which is the best kind.

I think agoraphobia is a bit strong for this but I think you point out something I didn't noticed. I totally scared of not being able to leave out of any situation. Even going to parties, I feel a bit more at ease when I went by car and I can leave whenever I want. I never sleep at other people's house. Thank you this actually is insightful ! Have a nice day

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much!

I didn't know any of this crap until this past November. I have been using the name on my ca drivers license and have no intention of changing it, which pisses him off I don't care if he is mad. DMV already knows he committed fraud with them. And told him exactly what he has to do, told me something completely different but I already knew most of it. He is a bold face liar and is proud of it. He had his mom bring over his original birth certificate under Fidler. He has both certificates one under Ruts his adoptive legal name and his biological one under Fidler. When the judge took or suspended his license under Ruts he thought he would be sneaky and apply for a new license under Fidler, had everything needed to get a license. He didn't check the box asking if he had a license under a different name and got his new license. He was able to renew it 5 times until they finally figured out what he did and suspended it or wouldn't renew it pending an investigation. When I tried to ask the officer at the DMV office in Vallejo fake hubby rushed me out of there so I wouldn't find out anything. So as far as I'm concerned he is a lying loser and I'm not married to him and don't care to be. Karma is already making his sneaky ways not so special for him. Thank you for your time

I don’t necessarily want to leave him. And it seems like that’s what you’re encouraging me to do. You’re projecting onto me how guys have maybe hurt you in the past, it’s not helpful to me, someone that wants to make my almost-relationship work.

Well, we’re both 22 year old adults. I have talked to him directly and can confirm that he’s 22, he graduated high school in 2017.

Hey, thanks so much for the helpful comments, that's definitely the right way to look at it. <3

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much for your advice! I don’t have a friend that likes him (that I know of), but rather it is him that likes a friend. Sorry for the confusion. He’s also introverted and we hang out a ton so he would probably consider it the same as our usual:(

Very helpful, thank you!

Thank you :)

Thanks I will.Thanks!

I do need to become more positive, I've just had a lot of bad experience with guys who ghost, or say they're going to hang out with me then coward out- they stop speaking to me and are complete jerks. So, yes I do feel like those are cowards- guys who aren't cowards would be straight forward with you saying hey I'm sorry I don't feel that connection with you- perhaps we could be friends or I don't want to lead you on. I don't think every guy is a baby- I just have a terrible past and nowadays I don't have any positive experience b/c every guys that I've met has treated me like crap. Throw you breadcrumbs sort of thing-indeed I should stop going after guys lol. I was nothing but nice to them.

I really appreciate this answer! Very straight to the basic points without dancing over anything. I am thankful for the validation as well. I do want to add that while I understand how this could be confused, the traumatic dreams were during my mental break, not because of this specific issue. I thought of this betrayal recently and it was unprompted. However, thank you for getting the general grasp of the post and giving an option to confront more than just one person to see how it all settles. This is an option I did not even consider and will use as a guide for when I am ready to handle this confrontation. Stay well and thank you again!

Thank you- I have been trying to find more things to do during the virus and have been looking into drama at a nearby church.

Thank you for taking the time to answer my question😊. I’m much more active these days with but I still feel the same. It has been a week since I started to feel horrible. I have plans on going to a doctor, but unfortunateky I don’t have enough money or resources to travel out of town and get an appointment and I’m conflicted if this is just me being lazy or really having mental health issues. My family wouldn’t support me in this because they would say that im just being lazy

Thank you the abuse has always been mental abuse he hasn’t hit me become physical iv’e thought about telling my family about the situation but my dad would probably deny wouldn’t consider what he’s doing to me abuse just constructive criticism as far as counseling goes iv’e been wanting to see a therapist again but with the pandemic happening it has made thing’s impossible tough

Thanks!

Okay thank you for the advice

thanks for the advice, he was also my best friend so that makes i harder and am seeing a therapist and not obsessed or harming him. do really love him which hurts me to not be enough for, but happy for him though it hurts me on being married. and i've tried evrything rid these feelings for him and able o make myself live without..but will talk to my new therapist about it, and hope for best as would been nice be least friends again..well thanks again he does care about me he told my mom and she told me and lectured me.

thanks

U apologize for the delayed response! Thank you so much for answering my question in a non-judgemental way. I really appreciate the time you took to read and answer. Your advice was very helpful!

Thanks. And I'm actually writing this primarily for myself, so I'm going for createspace publishing as a solution. If there's a catch with them, some company that lets me produce like 1 book for myself to keep.

Sorry I was a bit rude, I was just annoyed at the fact you called me negative when I wasn't trying to be. I've already thought of those activities you've mentioned and I already do have a bus pass it's kind of hard to create a summer for myself when I have strict parents who don't even let me outside of the house. During this whole summer I've been out 3 times without them, they don't let me leave while they're not home and they're not home almost everyday because of work. If you see this please message me back thanks for your input anyways

The problem with my school is that they split everyone up based on their program so none of my friends have the same frosh week as me, yes we can go together but once we get there we have to split up, I'm not living on residence cause the school is an hour bus ride away so I don't have any roommates and the frosh organizers said we are not allowed to come with people who don't go to the school, so basically I have to make friends which I will but my mom won't understand that

We all have unlimted talk and texting so texting doesnt increase any of our bills, for the first friend she is not busy because again she was on whatsapp again (whatsapp is free so texting isnt a problem) and she completly didnt open my message she even tells me that she is always home, the second friend has replied to my message i was just sad when wrote what i wrote yesterday night because i was tired of feeling ignored, also with Anna its not a new relationship they have been together for a year now and hes still all she talks about,if she was a good friend to me she would care about my problems as i have always been listening to hers but she never listens to what i say that is why i ignore her, she only calls to talk about one topic then when i try to talk about my stuff she suddenly has to go or she forgot what i said if it doesnt concern her. Lastly i dont constantly text or talk to any of them all the time the message i sent friend A was the first time ive talked to her since august started, i talked to the second friend every 3 days and anna calls me regardless

Thank you so much - I know I'm being a bit of a worrywart. I've just never been in this situation before, and I want everyone to be happy, lol.

Rating changed by L2 Moderator

thank you for your help

i wanted to come back and thank the people that had helped me have the courage to stand up and stop bad things from happening to me. THANK YOU!

Thanks!!

I really appreciate this! Before I was still unsure but now I'm certain I shouldn't go to it. Thanks.

Why would you answer a question you don't have the answer to?

My parents are in more debt than I am and I have never taken out a loan before. I'm only looking for a $1000 dollar loan and I already have a job so this isn't very helpful

Very thorough and informational. Thank you!

I am thinking you very much from India.

you know group dates are just a killer on a first date what seems to always work say starbucs for example be in there for about 30 to 45 minutes what my intention when i mention surfing was just to create a topic to rise interest blabbing your mouth into something that doesn't create interest i think will just ruin your chances social event for example are a good idea surfing.party it shows you are a very interesting person this lady knows i have been working in there for about 5 to 6 years she knows that i have not hangout with anybody that I've work with working in the restaurant is like being in that shows jerry springer she knows that i have never ever dated somebody that i have work with they were couple times that i could of had a chance to date somebody but i have always said no but this is she's different working in the restaurant I've always see it as just a job nothing else with her she just comes of nowhere and boom she maybe or i think she will change my mine on how i see it so like i said her action tells me that she is interested what my question i think she gotten bored with the boyfriend or the guy won't let her go

Rating changed by L2 mod.

Thanks for your help.

Yeah they're the ones who suggested the spot cream.

Thanks again for the help. It's hard not to fight back when she has me on the ground and in a headlock punching me in the face. She seems to be content on just intimidating me now though.

That makes a lot of sense, thank you!

Thanks. You're right.

Thank you so much for your answer. Dzadzy

Thank you. That's great advice.

Rating changed to a 4 by L2 mod.

um there is o reason anymore to help me as you are so well um well he broke up with me so i guess i dont need any help anyone thanks though:(

Well shit. I didnt want to have to tell my mother, I actually wasnt supposed to have kik in the first place. I did fix the internet problem, turns out it was just the router, as evergome elses internet stopped working aswell. But I did get an unknown text with a link to a picture that says 'it exists" and Im quite scared to open it..

Rating changed from a 1 by L2 mod...karen

Thanks

Wow, that made me feel a lot better. I guess it was silly for me to think I was in that much trouble. I'll do as you said and look into it though. Thank you so much and God Bless.

thank you it was just a bruise! :)

Thanks

Thank you! I told my parents, so I did come clean and everything is fine.

I talked to my group leader yesterday and she said it mjjght be my living situation with me being 25 years old and sharing a room with a 12 year old still living at home eith my mom and not having any privacy making me more irritable and deppressed than normal. Could she be right? She says she thinks with me being the age that I am its about time that I get a place of my own and have privacy and my mom is extremely over protective with me having a mental illness I have to ask before I do anything and she said it might be because I have very little independence. Could she be right?

the thing is in this country(ethiopia) having a relationship at my age is count as an arrogance or that i am a bad girl or something so they will never understand me and ok i go behind their back and act towards him ,but don't judge me wrong i have my pride too .am sorry i know i sound rude but i just need him to talk to me as my classmate/friend beacuse i don't also need a relationship!!!

Classes start in the fall and the director advised to get started now. The question was to get suggestions as to WHAT to get.

I would like to thank you for your advice, I have decided to keep hold of the bikini and hand it over to my parents and also tell them what happened as well

Thank you very much!

Thank you. It turned out to be a medication I was on!

Thanks, you seem very good at this.

Haha, thank you very much. Nice to hear I'm not crazy!

Hey, this turned out to be pretty good advice. Therapists are good for talking and stuff, but psychiatry is what gave me lasting relief.

Thank you very much. My mom doesn't seem to care which is why I can't talk to her. someone else suggested I talkto his family and that has helped a lot because they are hurting like I am. Thank you

Thank you :)

Rating changed to a 3 by L2 mod

Thanks for the good advice

Its not for constipiation,its for weight loss :) I'm 13*

Thank you very much, this makes me feel so relieved! :))

thanks!! I am still tryin 2 get 2 grips with the situation but we are getting there!! xx

Thanks - I have heard about these 'rings' and have been meaning to get one. Will pop in/have a look online and give it a go!

thanks

Well thank you, for actually giving an alternative response to this bullshit. Thank you

Thank you!

I recently asked him to play cricket with me and my friends and he joins us.

thanks for the advice i have to find a way to tell him.

Thanks, I am going in today..,just thought I'd get some opinions to get an idea of what it might be

Thanks!

They dont have any time for me.

i think ill show him this answer

Thank you

I'm taking your advice & not going! Thank you!!

Thank you very much! This helped a lot :).

Thanks alot:) i placed second and third out of 23

Thanks! I should have done that, but turns out he hates lollypops and doesnt like seventh graders. Oh, well.

Thanks! I didn't even think of any of these.

Thanks! I'm going to send you a longer message in a sec.

Well I'd never be gay for it's a sin. And I do see the good in him he works at a nursing home. And he goes out of his way to give me a ride home. I'm going to just grin and bear it, as long as he doesn't impose his lifestyle choice on me I won't mention it.

thanks

Thanks that's really helpful :)

Yeah I know he has psychological things from his past that prevent him a lot. Thanks for your help.

Thanks..you're right, I need to just forget about him.

thanks

Thanks, this clarifies a lot for me...it is painful to face the truth, but I have a strong feeling I'll have to move on.

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