ask solidadvice4teens



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3002
Last Update: February 27, 2015
Visitors: 75452

Main Categories:
Mental health
Parenting
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
View All

I've had suicidal thoughts for a large portion of my life but recently it's been getting worse. Due to recent events, I really hate myself and I can't shake this feeling of hopelessness.

I told my boyfriend this last night and he got really angry at me and called me a coward and pathetic. I get where he's coming from and I realise now that I can't kill myself because it's selfish and would hurt my mom. But now I can't stop feeling completely worthless and depressed.

How do I get rid of this feeling? I feel so alone, but I'm scared if I tell any of my other friends they'll react the same way and end up hating me.

Also, he said he was once depressed and his best friends started getting angry and shouting at him too and he got better. So now he's doing the same to me. Why isn't it working?

I'm also really confused because he said I need to look within myself and ask myself the hard questions in life. But I don't know what that means and he won't tell me. What do I do?

Also, should I try and get him to stop hating me and apologise to him? I feel like he's the only person I really trust to tell all this to but at the same time I don't know if he still cares..‚Äč



UPDATE: today I had a talk with him and he wanted to break up because I was a coward, emotionally unstable, weak and unreliable to him. He said I was holding him back from his career in comic books but he still loves me and that we should break up to make ourselves better people.

What does this all mean? And what should I do? (link)
You aren't a coward or any of things he stated about you. You have an illness in depression that you cannot control (yet) without proper medical treatment and counseling.

You may have loved this guy more than anyone at one time but I have to give you a reality check-- He's acting like an inconsiderate ass who doesn't give a damn for you. Worst of all his actions are showing this to be the truth. Someone who genuinely loves you would never do this.

Better off without him. Trust me, he's not acting like a real man as strong men do not behave this way with women they are with. They support them and most would find out everything they could to help their partner rather than putting them down.

He'll still be trying to make it in comic books or whatever else when you get this situation controlled and are excelling in life and all things. That's the reality. And believe me the issue isn't about his comic book art career desire. There's more to it and it's issues with him and not you.

The illness has made you see yourself as pathetic etc. which depression always does constantly 24/7 non-stop in one's inner thoughts if not treated correctly.

What you need to do is admit to yourself that "I have a serious problem here. I need to get my depression under control and I'm not functioning well especially if feeling suicidal."

Once you realize this go to any local ER. Tell them that you have depression, dark thoughts, and that you feel alone, lost and have been made to feel pathetic and cowardly. Be up front no matter what that have had thoughts of suicide. That's vital. Hide absolutely nothing and let all this information come out. You need to to gain control of this problem.

What happens is that the on-call psychiatrist assesses the situation and determines what counseling you need, medication etc. If he/she feels you need rest or could seriously harm yourself and or have delusions they can have you stay 72 hours for observation to figure out the right course of action.

I KNOW you don't like that idea but really all it amounts to is much needed rest where you don't have to focus on work or anything else rather than getting better. You can still see your family, watch TV, relax etc and go about some normal activities at the hospital. You should go home shortly after. All of what I'm saying from personal experience.

You have an illness and that's all it is you aren't crazy and will be okay. Ditching this guy may in fact be the best thing for you as you may find someone who loves you unconditionally and meets those standards.

Also, if people are angry with you over an illness you can't control and are saying the same things as he has been do yourself a huge favor and ditch those who you know aren't real friends. You don't need that because real friends would NEVER ever say these things or level blame.

It all comes down to them reacting and or acting out of total ignorance and fear of something that they themselves don't understand. It's far too easy to be ignorant in society than informed about mental health and how this affects people.

Anyone who gives you grief about it has a serious issue but it's not something for you to worry about as it's on them to wake-up.

If these people are important to you stand up to them with the truth about your illness and how hurt they make you feel with their erroneous views and ask them to either shut up and be out of the picture permanently or show some support already. For every 1 of them there are 10 people who will treat you better.

Hang in there. Once you learn your real self-worth through all of this there will be no limit to what you can enjoy in life or become or the quality friends either. You just have to take the first step to become well again. It will all fall into place. It does take time no lies there but the whole world can open to you once you address what is going on.


Hi! I am 13 and my boobs are saggy, my bra size is 36B can a plastic surgeon do it or am I too young? How much would it cost
(link)
Your question made me sad. No matter what size breasts are or if they sag or droop it's normal. They come in all shapes and sizes. Your body is fine and beautiful and you shouldn't think otherwise or that yours is inadequate. You need to learn that. It's important to self-esteem to have a healthy view of your body.

Secondly, you are still developing at 13-years-old in a constantly changing body that will by the time you are 18 be an adult body. Cup size, shape can change during this time.

The poster below is right that a plastic surgeon would be reluctant to treat you at your age and the fact you are still developing.

They couldn't and wouldn't do an augmentation on a child. The only time they may help is if breasts were grossly out of proportion for a person's body and were causing them pain in some fashion. I've heard of people with that.

You need to realize you have nothing to feel embarrassed by and to learn to be comfortable with your body even though some changes are awkward right now to handle. If you have concerns about anything you wrote us about talk to an older female be it a parent, aunt, friend's parent or trusted person about it. They'll reiterate what I said but also let you know that this is normal. You could use that.



so me and my bf are going to camp with the rest of our grade and i dont know what do because i want to try and get my first kiss with him without anyone seeing what to do and if i dont ill be fine but it would be way harder in school you have time i am going april 8 am 2015 please give me advie tell me the instructions for 3 days of the first kiss plan but its the last day the third day so if ya want i have a 2 hour bus drive to the camp maybe that will help and i have one full day with him but around alot of people and teacher so maybe you could help me please please please help!!!! (link)
I'm going to state the obvious. If you want to kiss someone do it already. There's no way you or any teenager can or will wait until April 2015.

Furthermore, why put yourself in an uncontrollable situation where others can ruin it for you rather than do so where you feel safe and comfortable with the other person?

There's a whole bunch of time until then but you should shoot for as close to the present than way off in the distance. it's no big deal or anything embarrassing either.

It's natural. If you want to be kissed tell him or just initiate it. You don't need a camping trip that is so far off or this perfect setting or moment planned... You negate the problems with said trip that you are expecting. If already together this really shouldn't be an issue or difficulty between you. Has to occur eventually. No worries.


I'm starting school in a couple days. It's an independent one-on-one program, where I do the work at home and go to school for about one hour a week or so. Well, I'm honestly terrified. I'm scared that the teacher will try something; like rape me or something. She's a female as am I, but she can be like a lesbian or something. I know I'm sounding really paranoid; I have a bad paranoia disorder, and maybe I'm just overreacting. The reason that this came to mind is because I had a classmate who was raped in kindergarten and now I'm terrified because me and the teacher will be alone. I'm sure I'll be more comfortable after being there a few times, but it just scares me so much. I could see if my mother could just sit in the back while I'm with the teacher, but I wouldn't really want to waste my mothers' time and make my parents think that I can't do this. What should I do? (link)
When you get this way with irrational thought or fear tell yourself "That's Not Real" for starters and start noticing that this is your disorder talking nonsense and passing it off as something that deserves your attention or could be reality.

In reality all that will happen is a standard student/teacher relationship no more no less. You might find yourself really enjoying working with this person.

I think what you should do is approach this teacher day one and mention why you are working from home. Let them know how hard it is to deal with your disorder and irrational, paranoid thinking and that you are terrified of being at the school or around them. Then the two of you can work around this illness together if on the same page. You can certainly do this but it won't come off easily.

The other thing you need to do is talk to your psychiatrist and tell them that the biggest problem you have is with irrational fears and bizarre thoughts acting as your own thinking and being duped by it.

Also, that you aren't able to see an irrational idea as being just that. See what they can do to work with you at knocking this fear down about the teacher and school.


I have always cut not for attention but for the thing I've went through and are going through I haven't done it in like 10 months but still want to its an addiction I fight every day hundreds of time daily. I've been been molested by three adults. Two of them were when I was young and one which it was my eighteenth birthday of all days. I have nightmares, trust issues and more. I cry multiple times a day I have been abused physically by my mother and an ex. And all it takes to break me is a rude comment from my husband or anyone. I think I'm the ugliest human. But everyone says I'm beautiful. I'm a little overweight. I have no confidace. I'm on medicine for my depression. But anything and everything kills my heart. A raising of the voice = panic attack/ asthma. I'm sensitive and don't leave my house unless Dr. Appt. My husband tells me its because I live in the past but I can't forget getting raped and the abuse sexual or physical. I have a therapist but one hour every two weeks feels like not enough to discuss past and present issues. Any advice and please don't tell me I'm stupid for cutting because I've quite its just most of the time I'll see a knife and want to or look at My meds and want to take them all to end it over everything. I have seen many therapists from age 4 up to 22 current. So please give me anything you think would help. Thanks! (link)
What you need do is tell your psychiatrist that none of the medication you are on is doing anything at all to help you. You do nee medication but the doses or the medicine they gave you may not be aggressive enough to treat your illness.

You have to be honest with them about having multiple therapists and psychiatrists in the past and that you illness has never gotten any better from what they have done. Be 100% honest with them as it's the only way to get better.

Tell them everything you wrote about cutting here and how powerful a drive to do it you experience. If you don't tell them everything in detail they really can't do anything at all to fix the issue.

Talk to them about your self-esteem, struggle to function especially and the abuse you suffered that still bothers you relentlessly. They need to know this info.

You're going to need to do something that you won't want to do but could save your life and turn your life around permanently. You need to go to an ER and tell them you can't function and are struggling to live right now and every single detail you outlined above.

What will happen is that an on-call psychiatrist will see you look into your medical history, the information you presented and observe you to figure out your medication and real illness and what is fueling all this.

What they will do is figure out the correct treatment before sending you home. If they think you cannot cope, are a harm to yourself or others could to you than they will keep you in hospital for 72 hrs at least to be sure you leave well.

This should not be dreaded. In fact all it amounts to is rest in a secure environment until they get things corrected for you so you never have this as a problem again. It doesn't mean you are crazy but just have an illness to deal with and confront. It's the best thing you could ever do for yourself. They only tend to keep people longer if delusional ie with bipolar as that takes time to be handled.


This is something we will actually need! Soccer and jump rope may be fun, but defense is important. We could be threatened on the street, challenged,etc. Us girls need it the most. We are in risk of rape, domestic violence,etc. In gym boys do wrestling for a unit while girls do yoga. I have 3 arguments against that
1. Downward dog isn't gonna protect you from sexual harassment.
2. Girls need to know how to fight more whether society likes it or not, since we can't rely on natural strength
3. It won't even help boys defend themselves because say they are being jumped, by 3 or more guys 1 on 1 combat will be useless and you'll need to do more then to hold them down for 3 seconds to be able to get away and alert the cops
They need to be talking to us about the dangers of the real world and how to defend ourselves, it's not gonna be inappropriate, it'll be useful and it won't disturb/scare. And even if it does, we'll be glad we learned it when we still have our hard earned money, or not have AIDS, and we'll skip a lot of much more traumatizing experiences. (link)
I'm sure there are a lot of educators even at school who would love for students to have such training.

However, you have to look at two factors. First, martial arts is a specialty and not something that just anyone can instruct you in on a regular basis. They would have to contract an expert to come in and do this. No doubt the cost of hiring someone who only does a class per week or along that line is too high despite benefit.

What you could do is approach the admin of your school and mention that you see more value in self-defense techniques than yoga or some other form of gym and don't understand why males are shown wrestling and you aren't and highlight what you stated above.

Ask them if it would be possible to have a martial arts expert in to teach 3-4 90 minute sessions of techniques and make it open to everyone based on space. See what they think as there may be ways they can make something work.

The downside is that some not all educators feel that kids being street smart and able to defend themselves is on the kid and their parents to pay for and educate outside of the school. You may deal with that mentality but likely not.


Hey I'm a 14 year old girl and I feel like such a loser. I'm just so different from all of my classmates. They like to pretend that they don't care, and that they're too cool for things, and stuff like that so it makes me feel stupid when I get enthusiastic or excited about something. I also watch sci fi shows and read too many books and excel in science and history class. I correct the teacher a lot and go into long winded explanations because I get excited about the subject. I apologize too much even when I didn't do anything. I write poems that I never show anyone because not even my own mother would understand my depressed inner thoughts. And to top it all off, I have a dreadful case of social anxiety, so I replay and disect conversations in my head until my thoughts about how stupid I am eat me alive. How can I fix myself? What's even wrong with me? (link)
Be who you are and don' give a damn what anyone else may or may not be thinking.Your personality is not something to be ashamed over. It's a good one with admirable qualities so no worries.

As far as your inner-thinking goes if it's full of anxious thoughts, dark ones, troubled thinking than no matter what don't hide that. If you have social anxiety problems make it known. Seek out professional help from a medical professional and work on these issues. Medication if they decide may help eliminate these feelings.

Anxiety disorders are an illness like any other that needs to be dealt with and doesn't mean that you are at fault for it. It doesn't mean something is wrong with who you are a a person either. You need help there and working on your self-image and self-worth as you haven't a clear view on that. Stop looking at yourself through a dirty (mental) mirror.


recently I was informed by someone on "Kik Messenger" that he had somehow gotten my ip address and gained access to certain information about me, sending a screenshot of the info he found by plugging my ip adress into a website. about a week later, I noticed my phone would refuse to connect to my wifi, whereas my parents and siblings mobile devices and laptops connected just fine. the man had mentioned something about being able to get into my phone, so I blocked him and deleted kik. I just find it a little ironic that my phone is the only one with problems "obtaining an ip adress" it might be just me being paranoid over nothing, but if you have any idea if him getting into my phone is at all possible, or what is going on with my phone, that would be great, As I am only 13 and honestly have no knowledge whatsoever about these kinds of things like "hacking" or what have you.. (I have the HTC Desire 601) any information would be greatly appreciated, thanks (: (link)
The minute this happened I would have told your parents and alerted them to what occurred. They could then get in contact with their service provider and they could go after this person, give you a new SIM Card or phone and make sure that this person didn't have access to the account.

You have to let them know exactly what was said and when your phone started malfunctioning. It may not be related but have adults look into the situation for you. I'm sure someone else will have more technical info but I would start there. Get the police involved too.


I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do (link)
Give them the password for each account so they can monitor who you are interacting with and that you can be trusted. That's one way of showing responsibility.

Be aware also if you are under 14 that these sites won't give you an account and verify age. Also, listen to your parents about their concerns and when they make a decision no matter what it is handle it with maturity. That may lead them to reconsider when they think you're ready for it.


So I am 16 f and I have been self harming for about a year, yesterday my friend noticed some cuts on my arm and called my parents, they were so upset as they had no idea that it had been happening. I think that they are angry at me and at themselves and they keep asking me questions about it. the problem is that is why i didn't tell them in the first place, I didn't want to hurt them or make them disappointed in me. When they ask me things like why do you do it and are you happy I don't know what to tell them, I do feel happy and I don't know why I do it. I guess it's just hard to know what to say to them to let them know it's not their fault and that I am just weird. (link)
You are not weird but have a mental compulsion driving what you are doing. You don't know why the constant desire to harm but have to get out in front of it and stop it from going on further.

It really has nothing to do with happiness or your parents doing anything "wrong" for it to exist. It's a mental health issue. What you need to do is tell a doctor about it. You're not crazy nor do you need to be to be referred to a psychiatrist.

This individual can help treat what is at the root of the problem, empower you and help you end doing this. You need the counseling, possibly medication and the assistance of a mental health professional to succeed.


Okay so I feel myself a lesbian because I like the girl in school....I think it's okay to like her but then I feel weird and not normal when I getting to like her.I REALLY WANT TO STOP!!! I DONT WANT TO HAVE A BAD FUTURE....Thank You (link)
Who said anything about a bad future if your orientation is in fact gay? You will still have a productive and happy life or the one you have now in long run.

Have you always liked girls or just this one person in particular? Do you also like men? It may be too early to figure out orientation and this may be curiosity if not something that has always been the case.

I think what you should do is talk to someone be it a teacher, counselor, therapist confidentially and tell them you aren't sure about any of these feelings and whether you are gay, straight or bi-sexual and are troubled about it.

There are a lot of great resources out there including PFLAG who can help empower you and deal with figuring this out and if gay etc. how to deal with family and being open about it. No matter what things will be okay long term.


Also, he recommended I take a prescription toothpaste with 5x the normal amount of fluoride, to brush 2 times daily with it, AND not to rinse my mouth after using it. I feel it sounds pretty dodgy, because I've been googling about fluoride lately, and it says it's bad for humans to consume it in large amounts. I mean, I generally brush once a day, and floss once a week, which I can improve, but I don't feel I want to do so with so much fluoride, when there are side-effects. But when I asked my dentist about the potential side effects, he just brushed them off like they were nothing, and thought the fluoride-free toothpastes at Whole Foods were ineffective in preventing cavities. I feel queasy about it. I mean, It's a great dental office, and it was my first time trying it out, but yeah.. Am I right for being cautious about this? I don't want to be taken advantage of. (link)
Definitely. Dentists are in the business to help people but also in the business to keep their practice opening and have X amount of clients as quota to do so.

When it comes to toothpaste, brushes, drugs, floss etc. they do indeed get financial kickbacks from companies who get them to endorse products or prescribe certain medications over others.

Some of the dishonest types also find ways to bill you or an insurance company too much or for services they didn't provide or for more blocks (time) than they did.

If you aren't sure why this dentist prescribed this kind of toothpaste and he's brushed off your concern about it forget him and don't go back. Unless he's told you your teeth are bad and need this than see someone else and have them check your teeth without saying anything and see what they tell you to do then tell them another dentist recommended this paste and brushed off your concerns about flouride and what it does.

As far as asking about liquids you consume that's standard. Coffee, sugary drinks, pop etc. can ruin enamel and cause issues with teeth. If you feel queasy at all about this dentist than trust your gut.

The prescription may also be warranted for whatever dental issue you had but do check things out and become comfortable and educated about it or if it's not needed and not a good fit for you walk away and get another dentist who can be brutally honest and at the same time address every decision he's making and what you need versus do not.

As far as flouride in water in the U.S. several organizations including churches such as Christian Science for example tried to fight government to have it not added to drinking water because they knew how bad it was considered to be and is to be absolutely frank.


In October 2012, my church had an AWESOME revival that changed my life. It lasted from Sunday morning to Wednesday night for about two or three hours a service and I STILL couldn't get enough of hearing the guest pastor.

He was the greatest pastor I've ever heard and in many of his services, he talked about how he was a cancer survivor. I heard today on the news that he is dealing with cancer again. He lives about an hour away from me and is pretty popular where he lives
The news story was about how a local football team was honoring him by putting his initials on their football helmets for the next game.

My question is should I send this guy a card or a gift or something to let him know that I'm thinking about him? He'd have no idea who I was because we never personally met, but he'd know my church. Would that be too weird, or do you think he'd appreciate that? (link)
That may be the one thing that he needs to help even for a few moments deal with what he is up against. If he sees that he has affected a random person's life so much and is valued that will help him have hope.

It's a very loving thing to do that not a lot of people would think of. A card letting you know you are thinking of him and what he has done to inspire you is a great gesture. Definitely do so. I wouldn't send flowers though. As for a gift of some sort that's fine. There's no wrongs there. It's what your gut says to do or give.


me and my friends are making a shopping app just like ebay and all for android as our college project. so we want to make an app that is different from ebay or any other shopping app. so what changes should we make in order to make it different from other apps? we have added group chat in which you can chat about all stuffs that you have shopped and all.. so please give me all your suggestions.. we would be happy to make an app for you. (link)
This sounds like a question where you are asking us to do your assignment and dirty work for you. I'm being blunt here that you won't learn or achieve anything special that you could have if you worked as a team to answer these questions.

That is what you really need to do. As a team collectively come up with ten god and bad things current apps aren't doing and come up with a core belief on how to fix it and make it different from anything out there. It's on you to do that.

Try creating a focus group on campus by putting up fliers at the library or student association hang out or lounges etc. Pick no more than 10 random people and start asking them questions pertaining to shopping and apps and what they think you need to be different.

Tape this on a digital recorder so you have notes and then draft a report for your project on how you took what they said and made an app. Use real people rather than anyone online and you'll not only have an app but make a real splash with your prof. You have to do the hard work here not us.


I'm 14 and I recently had to cut my hair because it was too long. I cut off probably 5-7 inches. It's now a mid-shoulder length or something. Well my friend said I look like a "cute ten year old", now I'm self concious of going anywhere. I straighten my hair to make it look longer too, but I don't want to look like a child.. (link)
Your friend could be joking or at worse just doesn't feel your haircut suits you. However, that's her opinion and as others have stated not that of anyone else. Maybe there is jealousy there too that you look better than her.

Here's what I would do find an adult other than a family member you value an opinion from. Pick a teacher for instance. Tell them you're feeling bad because someone insulted you about your hair and said you looked like a 10-year-old.

Ask them to be brutally honest about what they think. You'll find you don't have much to say negative about it and or can offer you suggestions to look your age if need be.

If that idea doesn't work for you go an visit a different hair salon and tell them your friend insulted you about the hair cut and told you that you looked way younger than your actual age. See if they think there is anything that needs fixing and if so perhaps they can make it look the way you really want.


Well I'm extremely shy and I like this guy in my class (I'm 12 by the way) and we talk and I think he flirts but I'm not sure if he likes me or not or if he is just being friendly like for example I told my friend that I didn't know the name of the guy I liked and he said my names (Enter name here) and I said funny smiled and blushed, basacally I need help to know if he likes me or not. Thnx for your help whoever reads this :) (link)
Start talking to him like you would anyone else. It's not much different except that it may lead to more than a friendship. Get to know him that way. I'm sure if he likes you he feels equally as awkward about it as you are feeling.

What you could do is put together a group for bowling, go-karting, movie whatever and invite him to it. If he has interest in you he will definitely go if not he will likely have an excuse.

You could also ask him if he would be open to grabbing a coffee somewhere or hanging out some time and see the response you get. Either way you need to take a risk. The worst thing is he isn't interested or says "no". That way you'll know for sure if you're wasting energy on him or not.

You also need to understand that 12-years-old is a bit young for dating. Girls mature faster than guys. While you may be mature and ready to handle dating he may not have got far along in puberty to have the same maturity and interest in you that you're hoping for.

He could one minute be interested and the next doing kid stuff or acting like a kid. At this stage both sexes change their feelings and likes faster than the weather. Be prepared for this kind of thing with your peers. Don't let it discourage you from trying though.


F/18
I am currently taking some martial arts classes with one of my best Friends. Usually I don't pay attention to how a person looks or even think about things like having a boyfriend. There are times however where I might find someone attractive. That happens with one of the boys in my classes. I'm usually very shy and not straight forward with guys I like, therefore I barely talk to him. I talked to him once where both I and my bestie talked to him. The next time I saw him, when my best friend and I came in, he went straight to say hello to my best friend, didn't even acknowledge me. I already have a lot of self-esteem problems, so that was the cherry on top of my iceberg. I felt so depressed afterwards it was sad really. Then in the last class I never talked to him but neither did my best friend because some blonde was talking to him - that's what my bff said. He doesn't seem like the womanizer or disrespectful type, which is one of the things I find attractive about him. My problem is that I don't know if I should try to... you know, get him to notice me as more tan a friend. If so... what the hell do I do, because I am totally clueless as to what a guy could find attractive in me. (Just in case, I'm pretty plain; dark long hair, dark eyes, skinny figure, fair skin... see?) (link)
You need to stop viewing yourself through a dirty mirror. Until you do that you will never be happy or see the true beauty that has been there the whole time. There's nothing plain about you. You're interesting and I'm sure you're fine psychically.

The only difference between you and your friend is how you feel about yourself. That's it. If you work with a counselor on this and build your self-image up you will do fine. You don't have anything less to give than anyone else to this guy. You may have even better qualities.

If you like him try talking to him about the one thing you have in common: martial arts. Ask him about how long he has been training, what you are studying etc. Ask him if he'd like another friend because you thought that he seemed like a nice guy.

See how he responds to that. You could go one step further and throw a mixer by going bowling etc and gauge if he has any interest in you from that. A guy that likes you will want to go and one that doesn't will come up with a variety of reasons not to. Don't fret it's him and not you.
You have no reason at all not to try.

There's a lot guys will find attractive in you and qualities you possess. Just think really hard and honestly about all your good points. People are attracted to that. They're also attracted to people who just be themselves and not care about anything else. You need to get to that place.

He may not have approached you and other guys may not have because they see you projecting an image of not being confident in yourself or too shy or not bothering with them.

As far as talking to any guy you'll succeed when you talk to them as you would any friend, family member etc, teacher, adult etc. etc. because conversing with them is exactly the same and should be natural not forced. Just talk to him and let things flow. You're too busy trying to make things unfold for yourself rather than letting it all come.


I signed up for a film analysis class because I thought it would be fun and it sounded interesting. I have already missed the first class because I signed up late and I have missed out on so much work. I read through the syllabus and it is a lore more intense than I imagined. There is about 100 pages of reading to do before each class and the professor seems very strict. And most of the people taking it are cinematography majors, which I am not. Unfortunately it is after the add/drop term, so I cannot just easily drop it. What should I do??? Stick with it, or withdrawal? (link)
Stick with it. You haven't even tried to give it a chance. The reading may be a challenge but it's not as though it can't be done.

You'll learn a lot about film and about yourself for staying with something that may look hard at first. No doubt the others feel it's daunting as well whether they are cinematography majors or not.

If I were you I would talk to some of the other students in the class and get a tutor from it or a study group going as that may help you grasp the material easier.

Also, if you have 100 pages to read try scanning and highlighting only that which you think is most important and make notes, tabs, post-its to help you remember the facts first. Then Pace yourself over the course of a few days to read the pages and make sure nothing was missed. You can do this. Don't fear failure.


I've known my best friend for nearly a year. We recently took a 3 week break due to arguments.
Well, we started talking again and... I feel like I may be better off without her. I'm homeschooled so she's my only friend (Literally my ONLY friend). But she's just kind of mean. She thinks it's funny to insult people and she gets into a lot of fights and stuff. She's always been there for me, but would I be better off without her in my life? I would have no friends though.. I have social anxiety, so it's difficult to socialize. (link)
Perhaps she has some kind of learning or other problem where empathy for others isn't apparent or where she can't see that insulting others for amusement isn't right.

You should tell her that one of the reasons you fight is that she does this perhaps without thinking and can be mean sometimes without even trying. It may be doing her a HUGE favor to learn this as no doubt she's pissed a lot of people off before without seeing it.

You have to figure out whether it's your gut instinct kicking in that she's not worth it or just something that you thought about because she hurt you and will fade. If it won't fade than maybe you are right and that's okay.

The whole issue about friends is a tough one. If you talk to a doctor about your anxiety disorder mention this unhealthy friendship and not wanting to ditch someone for fear of being alone. They may have tips and be able to introduce you to youth dealing with the same problem who could be friends.

Also, you never mentioned why you home-school. At this point in your life perhaps entering a regular school would be good for you and lead to friends especially if teachers know what you struggle with and students as well. The potential to meet good people there is great. You would have to work hard with a doctor on dealing with anxiety though. Something to talk to your family about--all of this about the friend.


Hi, I am a fifteen year old girl. I have sung ever since I can remember. I have sung in church, school, talent shows, and festivals. I live in a considerably small town, after all, it is the folk capital of the world. I just love the feeling of singing on stage, and I know it's going to be hard work, but I want to do that for the rest of my life. How can I get "noticed" in a small town? Any suggestions? (link)
By keeping up what you are doing now and being the best you can possibly be as a singer, dancer, actress. People will find you. The reality is that NOT everyone gets discovered.

Secondly, it's NOT about becoming famous that matters. This is about loving what you do and sharing your gift in whatever arena large or small you can and loving what you are doing.

Fame is a by-product of this that happens when you are the best at what you do and a have a name for yourself.

If you live near a large city you can go on ACTRA (for Canada) or SAG'S web site for the U.S. They are the actor's union in each of those country and more or less a watchdog and an actor's protection on set.

What they have on the sites is a list of reputable agents. Find a couple that represent kids/teens. They can get you print work, commercials, TV etc if they think you're worth representing.

Don't sign with anyone who is NOT on the list. There's a damn good reason why they aren't. This means you avoid potential scammers and other bad people in the industry.

While at that site look for a listing of reputable "Background Agents" These people will book you for crowd scenes on whatever TV, film may be on location in your city. This will give you a real taste of what goes on when making a movie and show you what an intense environment it is and 18 hour shoots sometimes. Again don't sign with anyone NOT on the list of agents.

Classic scams while I here: Never sign with anyone who wants an upfront fee to represent you. They should only make money from commissions when you get hired for a job. Do NOT pay for a portfolio of pictures ever.

You don't need it. Casting directors only need an 8*10 that is easily laser copied and submitted by your agent. Next run screaming from anyone who wants an upfront fee for representation and to put your name and picture into an internet page that casting directors will hire you from. It's BS. Casting directors do not cast anyone that way.

The only exception to the money issue and this is important is when you have an agent who represents only Kids and Teens or an agent who represents "Background Talent" only.

Because kids, teens, their parents and most people who are extras bail when they see this is work said agent can charge $100 a year per rules with the unions to protect their livelihoods.

Hopefully, this will help you. Keep plugging away at youth theater, competitions and wherever you can be seen and have fun with it first and foremost. If things pan out and you become known great but if not.. As long as you love it and do it well someone will notice and appreciate you on some level.




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker