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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: October 16, 2014
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My friends always pick on me because I'm skinny and it is embarrassing because they say it loudly. One time, someone offered me a cookie and I said no because I just finished lunch and they were like super loudly so everyone heard, but your not fat! Look at your wrist your so skinny! Just eat the cookie! I didn't even mention the word big or fat! Another, during a sleep away field-trip they were saying how they gained weight over the trip and when they asked how much weight I gained I said I didn't gain any, they started saying super loudly and saying that's because you didn't eat anything! You skipped all your meals! Which isn't even true. For one, i ate all my meals and ate several pop tarts during the time they served snacks which is twice a day and skipped only once because it was gross food and I went to my cabin and ate popcorn instead! I always tell them to stop because I eat enough and when I don't eat it's because I already ate but they never listen and continuously say it's because I don't eat which I know isn't true because I have been told that I have a big appetite. How do I respond next time they pick on me that isn't too serious that they think I'm mad but they won't brush off? (link)
As log as your doctor says you are within proper weight and not under for your height than that's all that matters.

Some people may eat the same things and amounts and look like they have more weight than you but it's all about your frame and how it distributes the weight on your body.

Your friends care about you but need to understand that they're being obnoxious and that your weight for your height and body is fine and your doctor said it is and that you do in fact eat what you are supposed to. And then kindly tell them never to mention or make this an issue again. That should do it.

You can't control if they think you're mad but they will see clearly you are frustrated. Just say it in a stern tone once what the facts are and it won't be an issue again.

Im Jade and im 14 and ive been dating my boyfriend Nick, 17, for almost more than a year. I feel like he tends to be overprotective and won't ever let me be around other people unless im next to him or whatever and it annoys me.And if we're out in public or with friends he can get a bit touchy feely, and I get embarrassed, and he does this mostly when we're around his friends. He'll grab my butt in front of them or smack it and its just so annoying cuz he thinks its funny and if I try and tell him to stop but he just tells me to shut up or he'll kiss me so I can shut up. I dont know why he does this and it really gets to me. There was an incident where we were at his friends house and he just shoved his hands down my pants without asking or telling me, and I told him to stop because his friend was watching and he gave me this death stare and told me to just go with it and I didn't want to, and he just leaned and kissed me so that I couldn't say anything else. Why does he do these things to me, I feel like he disregards my feelings when it comes to stuff like that. How do I tell him not to do this, I really dont want this to happen anymore. (link)
I know you like this guy but I will be blunt I don't fathom why. He sounds like a control freak, insecure and worst yet doesn't give a shit about your feelings.

What he is doing in public around friends and others is dead wrong. If he ever tries these things again knee him in the groin or slap him. He'll get it then.

I would tell him everything you just told us and that his behavior has crossed the line and if he scoffs at you or doesn't respect that give him the heave ho.

Also, if anyone be it a boyfriend or anyone else touches you in a sexually inappropriate way and you said STOP or NO than that's an assault regardless of relationship.

As embarrassed as you may feel about the whole thing tell your parents. Let them know he touched you twice and once he tried to force his hand where you didn't want it in front of others. Believe me they'll handle this and him for you. They need to know this guy is making you uncomfortable and you have no way of handling what he's doing as he doesn't understand NO.

He needs help to see that his actions aren't right. You also have to get assertive and if he assaults you fight him off. I think as much as you like him that it's not a healthy place for you.

I was re-admitted into a masters program after being dismissed for academic reasons. I needed to be cleared to register for classes, and my advisor cleared me, however she mentioned that I may have a Dean's Hold from previous semesters (since I was dismissed).

I went ahead and emailed the dean and vice dean, as well as the admissions office, to see how I could resolve this issue. I let my advisor know that I did so, and a few minutes later, she emailed me the following:

" I can assist you with hold. It is not a matter for the deans of the school to address. Please email them immediately and let them know the matter is being addressed. Next time, just check with me first. If further action is required, I'll let you know. "

My first impression was that she sounded annoyed with me-- that I contacted the deans first without consulting with her first. I did not mean any harm, I simply thought I was doing the best thing (since it was a DEAN'S hold, after all). Hopefully I am overanalyzing this, because I really don't want to return back to the program with an awkward or tense relationship with my advisor over this. Any thoughts? (link)
She's not annoyed at you and it's not a personal
thing. She assumed you were going to let her
Handle it and know it was being resolved.

All she has done is pointed out that there is a
Protocol for this and that talking to these people on your
Own can louse it up.

You need to stop worrying. Don't email a soul, dont
Apologize anymore and just know it's resolved
And she knows what she is doing.

This is good it happened for it will teach you that you
Need to be patient and trust others to do what
They said they could. Everything is fine as long
As you contact nobody else and only get in touch
With herif she reaches out to you first.

A few days ago I realized I like a guy from college. Who happens to be one of my best friends. Today we had an awkward situation where I nearly toppled over him. I was extremely embarrased and I realized I am like that because I like him. I don't get embarrased easily unless it's a crush. The thing is,I had a bad break up recently and I don't want a rejection to make it any worse. Any ideas to get my mind off of him? I wanna stay his friend,I just don't wanna like him anymore. (link)
Why deny yourself something that in your gut feels incredibly right? Yes, you were hurt recently and before but this guy ain't like the last guy. Do yourself a favor if you like him go for it otherwise you'll be miserable for not taking the chance.

It seems you are really close and he wouldn't say no but if he did... If you have been friends for a long time it wouldn't affect anything. If you like someone so bad you can't get your mind off that person and shouldn't. I wouldn't deny how you feel or try to hide it. That's not healthy. Best to get it out there and try.

Rejection may sting but what's worse the not knowing and the intense feelings being hidden or taking a gamble that could pay off into a really solid foundation for a relationship that could really blossom?

I am a 14 year old girl and I have recently made friends with a guy who I thought was really cute and have a crush on. When we talk I can hear him growling. He doesn't open his mouth, it's just like this deep throaty sound coming from his throat. The first time he did it I went "what was that?!" And laughed, thinking that it was a joke but he just says nothing and walked away. I can hear him doing it in class (it's a very quiet sound but I sit right next to him). And it's not me that's causing it, I hear him do it around his friends too. Could it be some kind if habit or tick? His friends never mention it, maybe they know what it is because he only talks about it with close friends? What could this be???? (link)
I'm no medical expert but I think you're on the right track with thinking it's a tick or habit that isn't able to be controlled.

Thing is others may notice it but he may be unaware (believe me that can happen) or perhaps he knows and your noticing it and saying something embarrassed him. I'm not an expert on Tourette Syndrome but it could be a mild case with a few uncontrollable motor movements or sounds.

His friends probably know that this sound exists and either know the reason or aren't phased by it. If it's something he's talking openly to them about than the likelihood of it being medical and not something they're worried about is the thing.

What do you do? You have to either not be bothered about it or approach him nicely. Point out that you don't mean to embarrass him or make him uncomfortable but notice he does X,Y, Z a lot and wondered if he was consciously aware of it. See what he says.

today my bf took me at his house..we got physical and he was sucking my boobs..he sucked my left boob so hard that a little part of my nipples skin is gone. will it come back? will it cause any problem in future? please help..give me some solution (link)
I'm reasonably sure like any other skin or abrasion that it will heal in time. As far as your boyfriend goes tell him what happened and that this HURT you so he doesn't approach it the same exact way next time.

I'm afraid of the dark. I'm a 10 year old female.

I was always afraid of the dark, but my parents thought it was a a little girl thing when I was young. But it still haunts me. The other night, my mom blew a fuse, and my electricity went out-which means no light- and I started sweating and breathing heavily, and I had to pull the shades up, and turn on my phone and kindle fire. I can never fall asleep without the light on. Once I notice the sun setting,I'm like, Let's go home, or like, Let's go inside, 4th of July is fine cuz we often have sparklers, lanterns, etc. I'm embarrassed to tell my parents because I'm a big girl now, almost a woman, I'm in a training bra, discharge, and pubic hair,(all aboard the period train!) I feel I shouldn't be afraid of the dark.
I don't know how to cope with it on my own, so I'm wondering if I need a psychologist. But only crazy people need those, right? And how should I tell my parents? (link)
First of all you don't have to be "crazy" to see a psychologist or benefit from the advice of one or a psychologist. People who do have mental health problems are not write-offs either.

It's an illness in their case just like cancer is and it's treatable. People need to realize that. What you need to do is figure out where this fear originates and constantly remind yourself that there is absolutely nothing that can harm you.

If you sleep with the lights off know that there are people a few rooms over and that nobody can or will harm you. Then you'll train yourself to be able to do it.

Im going on my sophmore year in highschool, and i love everything about marching band. I am also on the debate team and preparing to take an AP class which my parents find as conflicts. My dad was this huge debate superstar in highschool, and now has decided to force me to quit marching band. I have told him in the past that i love marching band more than anything else that i do in school, and he doesnt care. I asked him to consider my happiness, and he said happiness isnt the key point in his decision making. Also i asked him why i cant do what i want to do, to which he replied "what you do in high school is not your decision." How do i get back in marching band? its the only thing i love about school and its where my friends are. (link)
He's trying to live through you. Happiness is essential to decisions. If you aren't happy or in to something and resent doing it then there's ZERO point in doing it. You won't gain from it.

He may have been a debate superstar but that doesn't mean it's your forte. If you don't feel comfortable doing it don't do it. Sign up for band. If he doesn't like you following your heart and gut so be it. You can't please everyone and sometimes that means a parent.

What you should do is tell him one last time that you know he enjoyed the debate club in high school but that public speaking freaks you out, you aren't good at it and have no interest and will not be joining it. Illustrate your love for marching band and talent for it

If he doesn't understand have the marching band or other teacher you trust for that matter intervene and talk to them about where you seem most comfortable. Also there may be a way to juggle all three things if your teachers can pull that off for you. Something to think about. He shouldn't force something upon you. That's wrong and bad parenting in this instance.

I told my mom that I watch this show called the fosters on abc . I'm 13 and it's probably not a show they would approve of cause of lebian thing but I kinda like the show and I'm only watching it because my friend recommended it to me. So what should I do because I don't know what to say if they bring it up when I already told them its because of my friend. Plus it's not really a bad show. (link)
You aren't the director or screenwriter of the show so aren't responsible for content. It won't come back on you or the friend if they dislike it. If they don't enjoy it they don't enjoy it. even if it's mentioned it will be mentioned once and dropped. No big deal. Relax.

I met this girl online. She says she's 15. She seems like a normal teenage girl. I use fake pictures because I don't want to use my real ones, but I do use my real first name. She has asked me when my birthday was and how old I was but not like "out of the blue" or anything. We were just on that subject.

I do think I'm safe, and I'll tell you why: I don't use my real pictures, she does seem like a regular teenage girl, she's mentioned her family a few times, and I've seen her like twice. I know it could be anyone, and that the internet isn't exactly "safe", but should I make something up just in case? (link)
You need not have lied or sent fake pictures. That was wrong. All you needed to do to protect yourself is NOT give your state, country, location or details about your family beyond that you have parents and X number of siblings and no names.

As far as birthday and age the person may have asked to know if you are the same age or out of curiosity and not for anything nefarious. You could say " I am 15" and born in October. That should be okay.

As far as pictures go you should have said for safety reasons my parents have told me not to send those. They should understand but if they didn't it may be a sign that they aren't who you think they are.

Remember if anything doesn't feel right to you that all you must do is tell your parents, log the e-mails and address and stop talking to them and let adults deal with the situation especially if it really crossed the line or seems predatory.

You probably have met an online friend the same age but like anything else treat that person like you would a stranger and what you wouldn't tell someone you didn't know or share when people you didn't know were also in the elevator. You should be fine that way.

I'm new to cheer and I don't know what to get my secret sister. Can anyone help me?? (link)
Do you know what she likes having been near her or friends? If not try and find teammates that know her well and what she is into. As long as you don't tell her who you've got I doubt there is any trouble in asking them.

You could try chocolates, books, gift-cards for the movies etc etc. as long as it's not too expensive. Ask your parents or coach what they think this person would like or benefit from and or trust your gut instincts.

I'm going to summer camp (first time) for two weeks, not allowed electronics. It's a camp where I will be sharing a cabin with eight girls my age (14-15) and doing activities like canoeing, kayaking, arching, music etc. what do you suggest I pack? and what do you suggest I bring to stay entertained during free time? (link)
You should have a water bottle with you at all times because of heat. Make sure you have your own sunscreen too to avoid burns and perhaps Aloe Vera or Solarcaine products if you do get burned. Beyond that the advice below is solid once you add toiletries.

Pack clothes you feel most comfortable in if it's really hot, books, playing cards etc. The Mad Libs idea is a great one. Odds are with eight girls 14-15 and all those activities there won't be much downtime to begin with.

Don't bring the whole game with you but try finding a pop culture trivia game or Scene IT and bring only the cards. You can make a game out of guessing correct answers with others provided they know about the kind of things on the cards.

How often do you have to have your puppy vaccinated and for what? (link)
This is a question best put to your veterinarian who can tell
You exactly when to come in the costs and what
Particular needles it needs and when.

My cousin is making me feel really uncomfortable. Today we went to my uncles house to watch the soccer match (FIFA 2014) so I was feeling ok. I went to my cousin and asked him a favor if he could download me a movie and pass it to my USB. He said ok so I went upstairs with him and at first he acted all right he asked how i was at school...... Then all of sudden he grabbed my waist pulled me to him closer each time and started touching my back softly! Then he grabbed my hand and kissed it and started like touching my back again it felt disgusting! He asked me if I feel uncomfortable and of course I said YES! Then he left and I just stood there feeling Ughh ! I don't want to tell my parents! Please what else can I do? Help me!
You may not want to tell your parents but it is the responsible and only action to take. They will NOT be angry with you as you are faultless here and a victim. It's clear the guy has a BIG problem and needs intervention. He could be doing this to other people be them family or not. By saying something you end this potential cycle. He mus be dealt with before he victimizes others or tries with you.

I've recently noticed that I often cry in my dreams.. Sometimes I can tell I was crying while I was sleeping as well, because there are dry tears on my face. This morning I was really tired because I wake up at 5 every morning for really no reason and I fell asleep (is this a problem?). Usually when I cry in my sleep I dream about being late for something, and whenever I'm late for something in real life, I start crying. I don't get why I would be dreaming about this because school is over now. I'm very shy and I get depressed a lot, so is that maybe why it happens? So, what does it mean when I cry in my sleep? Is there any way I can keep it from happening? Thank you for reading..please help me. (link)
Dreams are nothing more than thought pictures that cannot harm you in any way. They are your fears and anything you are thinking about or stewing over in real life. Your brain is always on even when you sleep. That's all you are dealing with is your own thought that you haven't chucked.

As far as being depressed goes see a psychiatrist and get their support to overcome the problem. You don't have to be crazy to see one and you aren't but medication and treatment may make you feel a ton better.

I'm 19, female, junior in college. All of my college friends live in different states and my parent's don't trust me enough to drive there so I told them I was visiting my old roommate who is living at school this summer for a job and I actually drove to Jersey to visit my one friend there. As I was leaving Jersey to go back to Pennsylvania I had to go through a toll on 202. I was in the EZ pass lane and had tried to get into the payment lane but could not so I went through the EZ pass lane and I didn't have an EZ pass. I'm terrified they're gonna send me a letter telling me that I need to pay which would be totally fine but my parents are going to see that I didn't really go where I said I was going. How can I ensure that I take care of this so they don't send me a letter? Is there any place I can call or something to let them know? If not, I guess I just have to intercept the mail.

Thank you! (link)
They have your license plate number recorded the moment you enter and leave the lane. If you didn't pay they send you a notice to who the car is registered to and instructions on how to deal with the violation.

Your car if you had EZ Pass (according to NY State) would have to have the pass and or a transponder in the vehicle to read billing info in order to use the lane from what I read.

I'm not American. Where I am from they use a transponder system. You put one on your windshield by the rear-view mirror and it records where you get on and off. Then you get a monthly bill. If you don't have a transponder they record your rear license plate.

In other words they will be sending a ticket of some sort here about violating the toll to the registered owner of the vehicle. If that's you than you're okay if it's your parents you need to come clean.

It's better they know before it arrives than after. Tell them you screwed up by deciding to go to New Jersey on your own to visit people and how easy it was to screw up entering the toll lane and that you will face the consequences for the violation and anything else.

You need to come clean as it's a strike against whomever the car is registered to. If they can't prove their car wasn't in Jersey or try to dispute the violation without facts..It's not good. You can't intercept the mail as it would all come back to the registered owner to deal with. You can't call anyone either.

I have been best friends with this boy since year 7 and I am now in year 10 at school he's just turned 15 and I'm 14, I have liked him for a long time now and I've done nothing about it. He's made it perfectly clear he just wants to be best friends. But I can't help but like him sometimes my feelings go away but then they come straight back. I've tried not talking to him but I just miss him too much and now I just don't know what to do anymore, do you have any ideas on what I could do? (link)
The thing is you can't control what his reaction is or if he is attracted to you. What you can control is whether or not to let these pent up feelings drive you nuts without an answer.

If you have known him for four years or longer and will be friends no matter what then go for the truth. There's NOTHING to fear or be ashamed of. Tell him you can't shake the feeling that you really do love and care for him and that all you really wanted was to try and see if a relationship would work.

If he says no than at the very least you will be able to get the truth out and still maintain a friendship. You might find if you talk to him openly that he may now be interested and or fears losing the friendship if something didn't work out. I think that's his whole thing that once you did go out a friendship could go wrong if the relationship soured. Talk to him. Find out.

So what happened was I yelled at my sister because I was trying to get undressed and she wouldn't leave me alone, then my dad put his finger on my head and told me to stop screaming like I'm the parent or he'll smash my head. After that I went in my room and I didn't make any noise and when I try to talk no noise came out and when I did get words to come out I started breathing heavily and covered my mouth and cried a bit. Note this isn't the first time my dad has done something like what he said to me. He's done worse. But it didn't affect me much until now. I try to do stuff like read things then my voice gets lower, and lower, and quicker. (link)
That's the thing the abuse does affect you but it usually gets buried and repressed by you. Then when something happens again it comes to the surface and does more harm on-top of the fresh helping. This time the abuse triggered these memories and a physical reaction. There's only so much crap one can take.

I don't give a shit (pardon my language) who your father thinks he is. Nothing you have or haven't done should bring him to threaten smashing your head in. He's got a lot of issues to deal with if he's doing this consistently and causing a lot of damage with his behavior.

It would be in your best interest to tell an adult you trust be it someone related to you or not or a teacher about the verbal abuse and threats going too far. They need to help you find some counseling and to get him help as well. Be brave about this. A mental-health professional needs to help you work through this and get anything you have buried beneath the surface out and dealt with. I'm afraid to ask you quite frankly what the " he's done worse" means. If it's physical harm the truth about it needs to come out immediately to someone you trust. Your family needs help.

I have a corn snake who is around 6 months old i have had him from a hatchling with the mother what worries me is hes got a small bump on his head which has been there from birth it is about 3-5cm i was just wondering if anyone can tell me what causes it before i take him to a specialist thank you for any advice (link)
I would take him to a specialist or call a reptile zoo like Reptillia based in Canada. They would know what to do. We aren't in the least bit reptile experts.

Unfortunately I doubt you will find the correct answer here. The snake really needs to be seen for people to notice what you are describing in words. Also if it had it from birth and there have been no problems that's likely a good sign.

Hello i am shivani a student my chemistry teacheralways gibes a smile towords me & he touched my hand 3times accidentally he look at me for long time while teaching
And sometime he ignore me is he flirting with me or i thinl much more (link)
Perhaps he was looking at you because he wanted to see if you were focusing on him like you should when he's addressing the class. Maybe he wasn't looking at you at all or intentionally. If someone accidentally bumps into you or your hand a few times it means nothing. Nothing is going on here that shouldn't be. You're making it more than it is in all honesty.

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