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I lied to about my age to a guy I met online. I'm 13.
I met a guy on deviant art who was 20 (I'm 13 but I turn 14 on January 7th) and we started talking. I never had my age or name up on my profile. Or how I looked like. So he didn't know how old I was or any of that. He saw my art, though and thought I was so great. He had a fan fiction series he was writing and I suggested he made a Wattpad account for it. So he did. And we chatted on there more. One day I suggested he added a cover to his fan fiction and he said he wasn't too good at making covers so I offered to draw one for him. I finished it within a week (I think). He loved it and even told me I did so well, he kinda wanted to give me virtual kisses because of it. I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond at first. Then I replied- "That's cute. *virtual kisses* 😘" He did the same. Ever since, we'd been giving each other virtual kisses and I was had been so into him while we were talking as friends so I went along with it. Later on, we got pretty close and I lived it. However, one day I was just looking around at his profile and I saw it. He was 20 effing years old. I didn't know what to do because I was already so into him and thought my age could scare him off. But I ignored it for a while. Months later (and quite recently) he asked me how old I was and my hear freaking SINKED. I freaked out big time and didn't know what to say. I was thinking "Should I tell him my real age?" "What if he never talks to me again?" "What's gonna happen?" Eventually, I freaked out and told him I was 15, thinking it would freak him out a little less (again, I'm 13). His reaction wasn't really good at first but he said he'd wait for me and he thinks I'm turning 18 in 2019 but I'm really turning 18 in 2020. So instead of 3 years, he'd have to wait 5 years for me to turn 18. It's almost been a month since then and I'm in love with this guy. I know how he looks, how he sounds, and everything. He has a YouTube channel as well but anyways yeah. We've been texting on Kik for awhile now. But idk what to do, PLEASE HELP. WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING A LOT AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET EACH OTHER ONE DAY. IM SCARED HOW HE'LL REACT AND THAT HE'LL STOP TALKING TO ME!!! HELP!!!!!
I don't even CARE if he doesn't want a relationship. Just having him still talk to me will be enough.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know that once you lie you can't go back. It just piles up. That really sucks.
And I also know that you think you are in love him but you are not. You are in love with the idea of him, you are freaking 13 yrs, you haven't seen the world yet or meet the one. One day you'll look back on the situation and think to your self 'what the hell was I thinking'. What am trying to say is 3years is a long time, you might not even be in communication with him anymore. You would have met someone else by then. When you are in highschool you'll understand what am trying to say. What you should do now is just keep talking to him but not as much, cut back a little, hang out with pwopke your own age.
Best of luck
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HI this has happened to so many of my friends.I would say to you tell the truth, if something ever were to happen he could in trouble for talking to a minor and you don't want that to happen okay. Tell him your real age and if he doesn't want to talk leave it to him to think about what happens next. you yourself have to understand that he might be frustrated at you and may not want to talk because he asked you and you lied to him. so i can say that yea he will be pissed and maybe he will keep talking to you but you have to have to tell him the truth immediatley !!!!i can help you through this also. my deviantart account is bluewhales0413. please please get in touch with me so i can help
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The right thing to do here is tell him your real age. I know it's the hard way but it's the right one. After you do this, things are not in your hands anymore. It's for him to decide whether he wants to continue talking with you or not. But even if he decides he doesn't want to, I think you are too young for an attachment like this. Right now the thought of not talking to him looks scary to you and bad but you'll see in time that it's not the worst thing in the world.
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Well i know this seems tough but a relationship with this guy is not a realistic or good idea right now. I think you should tell him the thruty on how you feel but tell hime you just want to be friends. This way you dont have to tell him what your age really is now but if he is still consistent on dating you, i would tell him your real age he may be upset but if you also give him all the reasons as to why you lied maybe he will forgive you and both of you can continue just being friends.
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Do NOT meet this man! I beg of you!!! Just last year a student at a school I taught at was killed by someone she met online. She thought she knew him, she was positive she loved him and now she is dead! She was only 14 years old. Please please please DO NOT meet up with him. I understand your heart is already into this and it's not easy to just get over your feelings but honestly it's best you end your friendship. There's no problem being just friends but you won't be able to get over him if you keep chatting. Although he thinks you are a little older he's a grown man that should have put an end to all flirting immediately if not the entire friendship for your sake and his freedom. You'd have to ask yourself, what's wrong with a grown man who's carrying on a flirtatious relationship with a young girl. Believe me when I tell you, he's not waiting on you. He's going to continue his life with Lord knows who in the mean time. Love yourself first. You are worth a real relationship with someone your age, someone you know from school and someone not looking to settle down in a serious relationship. You have so many years ahead of you to enjoy with different people you meet along the way. Don't settle at risking your safety and at the very least if you care about this person you don't want him to get in trouble.
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I noticed some one else already answered you cus this was also posted ford all to have a chance to answer. The reason I didn't add anything is that I agreed with what the other advicegiver said.
I know at 13, how real the feelings can seem. In some cases it is for real and yes, some people who lets say meet in HS and become sweetheartsf actually get married. But that is a very small percent. I can guess but maybe one in a hundred people and that may be too high a guess.
The reality is that from 13 onwards, most people end up dating various people until they find the one they end up with long term or life long. I am much older and there werent computers when I was your age but I did get divorced and did the on line dating profile thing and met lots of guys. Of course you meet someone on line first. What I found out is something Psychologists know about human behavior. You can only know and learn so much via the internet. Trust can't be built over the net in a LDR for one good example. Also, I did get caught up and really like some guys I chatted with nightly until a week or two when we could get free time in our schedules to meet. This happened at least a dozen different times. So I am saying this is common. But when I finally met them in person, we both found we didn't quite click. There is something called pheremones. We are first attracted to looks of a person. But 2nd and even more important, is having pheremones that closely match those of the other person. If that is missing, there wont be a good sexual attraction. I met one guy who looked like a male model. However, when we kissed, there was no spark, no pheremone connection so it didn't work out. I know this info doesnt tell you what to do to fix the lie you made, but I want you to know that relationships and getting to the point of having a good one are not as easy as other things like tieing your shoes. Thats something we can all do without looking or thinking about it. The process of meeting and dating and enjoying the flirting is quite an involved process in reality, not as simple as what you see in movies or read in a romance book.
Now on the side of legalities, this guy could decide that since you are so much younger that he might get in trouble. Any male over the age of 18, who has a friendship with a female under the age of 18 is in a tricky place. It mayk all be innocent but He was hoping to wait for you meaning to date, meaning a real relationship and he now knows that continueing to chat with you could land him in suspicions, even if you never met until you were old enough. You may be very mature for 13, as I was at your age, so he obviously thought you were older, like around his age. Thats a compliment to you however your age will scare lots of guys away. If it doesn't they may be bad guys who only want to use you and will say anything to get to meet you now which you might just jump at the chance but trust me, it won't end well.
I suggest for now that you focus on enjoying your teen years and practice learning all the ins and outs of dating and relationships with the kids your age. I know it may sound dumb but teens who end up having sex before 18, if both are under 18, isn't frowned upon but there are some states that do have rules regarding that agwe range and sex. However it is against the law and a guy over 18 with a younger gal can end up in jail.
It is also normal at your age to want to have attention from the male species and it feels good to have them admire you. Yes, I felt this way too at your age, pretty much all gals go thru it unless they are attracted to females. But hetero's, well its best at this younger teen age, to get the safer admiration and confirmation from males in the family that you are indeed a wonderful young lady. I got that from my dad. Its really more of a psychological mental emotional need rather than a physical sexual one so its perfectly normal for dads or grandpas, uncles to say that I was growing up to be as pretty as my mom or that the guys at school are soon gonna take notice of me, and everything I did whether poetry, writing sones, playinng guitar, painting, I wanted Dads approval and opinion more during these years than Moms. It is a natural process so you are normal in wanting the attention. However, the moment you found out he was older, it would' ve been better to say that while you are mature and mentally more the age of an 18 yr old that your biological age is actually 13. So you will leave it up to the guy whether he is still willing to at least by internet friends, and if not, that you understand. You might remember that for the future. And as for this guy, you could say the same but you'd have to admit you lied about your age for fear of losing him as an internet friend for now.
It can go either way, him disgusted you lied and drop you as a friend. Or he may admire your courage to fess up and actually act all the more mature in doing so and decide to keep you as a friend on the net.
Good luck.
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Your best bet is to tell him your real age. I'm sure you know that if you don't, that's something that will you'll always be thinking about. You can't control how he reacts. He may be ok with it, and, he may not be. At the very least, you'll at least have told him the truth
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Dear You,
So sorry if it took me a while to get back to you. I am delighted that you decided to write. My answer is not likely to please you but it will be honest. I know you think you are in love with this guy but you don't know him. "Virtual" anything isn't real. It's "Virtual!" In addition to that, you are very young and in experienced about real love. Some of us take a lifetime to understand that and others of us never do! You MUST slow yourself down and stop thinking you know this guy. He could be 47! He could be a woman! I know, I know, he has a website etc. but REAL relationships require REAL one on one time looking someone in the eye. Not even Skype is the same. Building trust is a long process and many people have trouble with that at any age. You are playing with fire! You MUST be honest with him and tell him how old you are. You MUST have enough respect for yourself not to be so desperate just to talk to him that you are willing to lie!!! You have a great deal of time and growing to do as it relates to romantic relationships. I know, right now, it feels as if you can't possibly wait and you have to have it NOW. You don't and you shouldn't. You need to move slowly into the dating arena WHEN YOU'RE READY! with people your own age. There are many stages to growing to healthy adulthood. This is a major speed bump and it's not a good one! Tell him your age. DO NOT get involved with him and recognize the difference between "virtual" and REAL. Remember: VIRTUAL is NOT real! Holding someone's real hand and looking them in the eye and a lot more is what's real. The very best to you. Aunt Emma
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Hi babe...You are 13 you are still a baby. Someone who is 20 saying they will wait for you is unrealistic and this is not safe for you. Meeting people on the internet can be fun but its also is very risky. Have you ever seen the show catfish? This is not okay. I understand the feelings you seem to have for this guy but your SO young! Honestly...if a guy is 20 and talking to a "15" year old is very much red flags. So if he is okay with talking to a 15 year old that's scary. You have to think this guy who is 20 will be turning 21 soon, and will be going out into bars probably going to college...and your 13. What grade would you be in? 8th grade? Not even in highschool and this guy has already graduated. I understand its fun having the same interests as someone else like art. But this is unhealthy and it concerns me for your safety. Find a boy your age and experience things together. Meet a boy in your area who you will like. What is the reality of a guy whose 20 will wair years he would now be 23 for a "18" year old. Theres a big age gap. Why don't you tell him you know you like him but the age gap scares you. You can be friends with him I guess but I wouldn't even go that far. Something is honestly wrong with him if hes not going for girls his age. ****RED FLAGS*** Also. If he waits for you..who is going to drive you to see this boy? nevermind MAN he is a grown adult and your not even a teenager yet. Please protect yourself and do not make any more contact with him. I am scared for you for something bad to happen. If you would like my facebook or email feel free to ask for it. I want to shake you and say wake up!!! Someone will come along for you when the time is right...The time is not right right now. I am 24 and I know how 20 year old guys work.
xoxoxo
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I think you should be honest with him. No good relationship starts with a lie. By being honest, you give him the chance to make his own choices about how he proceeds with your relationship.
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Meeting someone we like, who shares our interests, and basically 'gets' what we are all about? A feeling of 'connection'? I think it's fair to say that all of us rate this as one of the most desriable things life can offer? And I'm sure that at approaching 14 you are aware of this very clearly. You haven't been entirely honest about our age. I'm deliberately not going to use the word 'lie' as it's a nasty word and entails nasty motives. And I hope you've gathered that I do not think your motives are the least bit nasty but very natural. However, you do need to be completely honest with this guy as soon as possible for lots of good reasons. It really isn't fair to either of you to pretend. I can see what you mean about him 'waiting' and in theory the shorter the wait the better, eh? But sooner or later you would have to be honest and it's very much the sooner the better. I'm afraid I can't give you any assurance that he won't 'freak out' as you put it. You'll just have to take the chance. There's no reason however why you should not have a guy this age among your on-line friends, especially as you share this creative bond. That's something real. Artists working together with a real result. No age restrictions here! Regarding the relationship on other levels. The timing's off right now. I think you know that. But how many times do people end up with (as they say) people who have been around in their lives in other ways for many years? Sometimes even almost forgotten, in the background, so to speak? And why couldn't that apply to you? Tell him how much you value the connection and are pleased that he values it. That it feels like something a bit rare, a bit special. That to just stay in touch and work together would be something you would value greatly. Something that doesn't really rely on flirting? Or age? Then who knows what the future might hold? You sound pretty together and very mature for your age in your question. I kind of feel myself really hoping that you two do stay in touch and maybe more, when or if the time's right. It's all about that mysterious 'connection' thing isn't it? So hard to find and impossible to force. Just happens. I hope he can see that too and doesn't cut you dead because you aren't of an age where you cold be be a sort of'ready-made girlfriend'for him. Good luck. And if he does freak out, it's his loss. You're better off without him mate!
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Hi honey,
I came across your question and it really touched me because I remember what it was like to be your age and crazy about someone. When I was 13/14, I honestly believed that anyone I knew at the time could be someone that I ended up marrying. I wanted to believe in the type of love that I saw in the movies. I'm 25 now and it's taken me this long to realize that at 13, I was not mature enough for a relationship and that my attempt to find the type of love that I wanted then was doomed for failure. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have done things SO differently. For one, I would have held off any type of flirtatious discussions. I would have focused more on school. I now have a successful career. But, one of my regrets is not going away for college. I would go back and spend more time with my family instead of trying to get away from them and trying to be more independent. I would have pursued a talent. Another regret of mine is not doing sports and not taking my music more seriously. These were things that my mom didn't let me do. So, it was easier for boys to get my full attention. If I would have gotten this advice from someone 12 years ago, I probably would have rated it a 1 because I thought I should be old enough to make my own decisions. But, this story that I just shared is mine. However, it applies to a lot of teenagers. A lot of times, the guy you are talking to feels like the only guy in the world. But, he's not. If you just want his friendship, then there is nothing to worry about. Continue talking to him as a friend. But, if that feels like something that you can't handle because your emotions are too invested, then I would cut this off. The reality of this situation is that he is an adult and legally, you are not. There are legal repercussions that he could face for being involved with a minor. Eventually, this person could face real trouble. This would be true even if you were 15.
Now, it is not illegal for a 15 and 20 year old to have a relationship with no sexual relations. Flirting is not a crime. So, when he says that he will "wait," he is implying sex because that is the only thing that will get him into trouble. I know that you've spoken to him on the phone and all of that. However, I went to college and I know what happens at his age. It's actually quite gross how guys can be. Men don't mature very quickly. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you were more mature than he is. Are you willing to go through all of these emotions that you just described for someone who might be hooking up with other girls and talking to other women the same way he talks to you? I'm not saying that this is happening for sure. There are lots of great guys out there and he might just be one of them. But, if he is, then he would be okay with talking to you as a friend.
My advice to you would be to continue a friendship if you feel that you can un-invest emotionally. I would also suggest that you don't meet up with him in person for the time being. I hope that you take my advice with all the love in my heart. Like I said, at 13, I would not have liked this advice. But, at 25, I look back and wish that someone had given it to me!!
xoxo
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hello this is Pamela Kaspar i would really like to help you , okay lying to someone you want to be close with is bad , but you did the right thing because you were scared to lose him after all i suggest don t tell him now the truth just try to forget about it and no matter if he will meet you someday it s only 1 year you have change it , he won t know that just because he met you and for sure he won t ask for your Id right now , so don t be afraid now about that just wait to see if he would really wait for you and if he did from years to now he will be fall in love with you for real than after a couple of years tell him and explain that you were scared to lose him that s all , let time takes time and wait , don t panic don t be afraid . that s all if you need any more help i would like to help you text me and i ll be there ..
best regards
Pamela Kaspar
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I cannot predict his response. I can only say that a lie more quickly retracted is easier to overlook with less drama.
PS. Of interest: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
PPS. my collaborative fiction brainstorming site: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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