Ask Cvete!

Female, 15

I am part of a pretty close knit group of about 7 people. We spend every recess and lunch together and we catch up frequently. We always are talking on our group chat and sharing things in our Facebook group. They're all my best friends. However, because we're all growing, our group isn't what it used to be. People are finding new interests and changing/growing.

I am quite weird and random, and sometimes I guess I come across as annoying to those who don't understand my humour. I love philosophy and am very curious about the world. I love nature and music. My friends don't really have that in common with me.

Recently every time I talk none of them listen to me, or they tell me I'm annoying or something. They say it in a sort of joking way, but because they do it so much I'm thinking they actually mean it. It's not everyone but it's a few people in the group. They go "you're so annoyinggg haha". I've mentioned how much they say I'm annoying several times before, hoping they realise that it actually affects me, but they just ignore it.

Whenever I talk to them about the world and issues that I feel actually matter, they turn around and start talking about how bummed they are that they got a 70% on their math test.

They're generally nice, but they can be pretty two faced at times, and fake towards each other and me, but only occasionally.

Overall I am confused and am not sure what I should do. Advice would be appreciated!!

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Female, 15

Hi so I recently got a scholarship to a Catholic school. My mom works there and she really wants me to move to this school because she wants me to learn about my religion more and teach it to my kids when I grow older. I grew up a Catholic.
The school I am at now is already a pretty good public school and is rated well, the Catholic school is good too, but the thing it that the school I'm at now is really good for art. Art is one of my passions and I have loved it since a young age, I get told that I am really good at it too. When I'm older I want to pursue a career as a designer, and the school I am at now is good for that sort of stuff.
I love all my friends too and it would be hard to move schools, but at this new school I would be with people who share my religion and I could date people who are Catholic too.
I'm having trouble deciding what I should do, because I know my mom would really like it if I went to this Catholic school, and it would be easier, but then again I really like art and I would still be getting a really good education at the school I'm at now, and I can still be with my friends.
I'm not asking anyone to make the decision for me, but any advice would be great!! Thanks!

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I met a guy on deviant art who was 20 (I'm 13 but I turn 14 on January 7th) and we started talking. I never had my age or name up on my profile. Or how I looked like. So he didn't know how old I was or any of that. He saw my art, though and thought I was so great. He had a fan fiction series he was writing and I suggested he made a Wattpad account for it. So he did. And we chatted on there more. One day I suggested he added a cover to his fan fiction and he said he wasn't too good at making covers so I offered to draw one for him. I finished it within a week (I think). He loved it and even told me I did so well, he kinda wanted to give me virtual kisses because of it. I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond at first. Then I replied- "That's cute. *virtual kisses* 😘" He did the same. Ever since, we'd been giving each other virtual kisses and I was had been so into him while we were talking as friends so I went along with it. Later on, we got pretty close and I lived it. However, one day I was just looking around at his profile and I saw it. He was 20 effing years old. I didn't know what to do because I was already so into him and thought my age could scare him off. But I ignored it for a while. Months later (and quite recently) he asked me how old I was and my hear freaking SINKED. I freaked out big time and didn't know what to say. I was thinking "Should I tell him my real age?" "What if he never talks to me again?" "What's gonna happen?" Eventually, I freaked out and told him I was 15, thinking it would freak him out a little less (again, I'm 13). His reaction wasn't really good at first but he said he'd wait for me and he thinks I'm turning 18 in 2019 but I'm really turning 18 in 2020. So instead of 3 years, he'd have to wait 5 years for me to turn 18. It's almost been a month since then and I'm in love with this guy. I know how he looks, how he sounds, and everything. He has a YouTube channel as well but anyways yeah. We've been texting on Kik for awhile now. But idk what to do, PLEASE HELP. WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING A LOT AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET EACH OTHER ONE DAY. IM SCARED HOW HE'LL REACT AND THAT HE'LL STOP TALKING TO ME!!! HELP!!!!!
I don't even CARE if he doesn't want a relationship. Just having him still talk to me will be enough.

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How would you feel if your significant other said that your approval means the world to me ?
For example:
your significant other asks your opinion on something
Then you give your honest opinion and say you approve of it
And then your significant other says "thank, your approval means the world to me"
What does it mean when someone says that ? And how would you feel if someone said it to you ?

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So I want to join the crew for a school play but I don't know if I'm good enough for it, I was thinking of joining the set helpers but I'm not that good at it and I'm afraid that I won't be as good as everyone else. Help pls.

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Hey! I had my second drive toda with an instructor. I have a hard time turning. He says that I turn to slow and then I turn too fast. And that I should be turning with my right over my left? I started off good and then it got bad.

We've driven around a car park, using indicators, learning to change into 1st and 2nd gears, and practicing u-turns. I almost got into an accident and almost hit the curb a couple of times. My instructor says I'm too stiff on the wheel and he was getting frustrated. I get a little nervous when there's a lot of cars around. I also have to look over my shoulder and in the mirrors while making a lane change.

how can I overcome this? Any tips?

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im girl 17, im in 3rd year in high school... i told my classmate(boy) who is also my crush that i like him, in the concrete i gave him a note, saying i like him bc , i felt really relieved after i told him...two days later, i asked him to talk about it bc he didnt give any respond and i wanted to how he feels , during school (we didnt study , we just played games etc), i asked him if we could go and talk somewhere private , he said it is nice that i told him about my feelings for him, he repeated it 5 more times :D :D, he also told me that he know how hard it must´ve been for me to hide my feelings from him... then he said he doesnt have time for relationship bc he has activites besides school (he plays guitar, he dances)...and also he told me he firstly wants to develop more spiritually..(if that makes sense) bc we go to catholic church , ..and then he hugged me saying that we should continue to be friends and he told not to act nervous before him,
i deleted him from my friends on fb during summer holidays bc i was always checking if he is online...now is new school year and he found out i removed him from my friends on fb, and he texted me why i did that, and if he did something wrong he is sorry , i didnt answear, i told him i did it bc it hurts me and that i dont want to be friends, and he said it´s, i thought it would hurt less, but it hurts me more , i just dont know what to do ? i see him every day at school, we dont talk to each other, and it hurts me so much , what should i do ?

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Hello,

I have been in a relationship for 4 years and things aren't going so good and they haven't for quite sometime now. After repeating myself for the past 2 years that things need to change or I'm leaving I started giving him a bit of a cold shoulder. One night I went out with a couple of my girl friends that he knew and he knew where I was and he got really upset and after telling me that he hopes all of them "backstab" me he texted "do you bro" I took that as things are over. Couple weeks after I saw someone has been always in my life and 5 years ago we almost dated but we were still young and made a couple mistakes. well the feelings were still very present for the both of us and we kinda started talking everyday and we would see eachother after work and we would go out. And it was like we were still the best friends we always were but the chemistry was also there. I never allowed myself to really see him like that before because I had "the boyfriend" and thought it was wrong of me but now things were different. I love having this guy around. I can be myself and he wont judge me, I feel really protected around him, we can discuss anything, We are very honest with eachother I feel like a legit princess. We had the same class in highschool and the other day I was telling him how I love the way he looks at me and he told me that the way he looks at me hasn't changed since highschool. So things with him couldn't be more perfect.

Now! My boyfriend after not talking to me for almost a month and again to me that means we are pretty done, Realized what he has lost and has changed completely who he was. Hes very lovey dovey and makes sure to say all the right things, but he doesn't realize that now its too late. I do feel really bad that ive lost feelings for him over the years because of past petty arguments (everyday) and double standards and I would love to have things go back to how they once were but I cant.

My question now is. Do I put my time and effort into someone kinda new (relationship wise) or do I invest my time trying to fix something of almost 4 years.

I am 23 years old btw!

Thank you in advance.

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19/F

So I live on campus and the floor of my dorm is mixed/co-ed. There's a boys dorm room down the hall, a triple (meaning it has three occupants)and I have a crush on one of the guys living there. For the sake of this question I'll call him Q. So Q and I have the same group of friends for the most part because our floor is all really friendly freshman and we make a point to get together for meals and games and things so we all spend a lot of time together. I first noticed I might like him when I mentioned to my friend that I like the way he speaks (Weird, I know). I feel weird about liking Q though because we're really different. He prefers horror and he's really well versed in history and science whereas I really like comedy and animated movies and I'm more geared towards English and art. He's not a "jock" by any means but he makes a point to stay active whereas I'm more of a Netflix and snacks kind of person. He seems to prefer being alone a lot of the time whereas while I can be alone, I always prefer the company of one or more people. The list goes on. I think what puts me off most though is that I'm not experienced in relationships while he is. When we all first met one girl was really interested in getting to know us and asked about our relationships. Everyone shared and showed pictures and we all noticed that while Q is single currently, his past girlfriends have all been really beautiful. We joke a lot that everyone has a "type" and that his is girls who look like models. That just made it more awkward for me though when I realized I liked him (as I hadn't noticed at the time)because if I were to ask him out in any way, I'd be coming up to him with no experience in relationships, few common interests, and the knowledge that I'm not exactly the type that he's normally go for. I wasn't planning on acting on it but it starts to eat at me sometimes when I talk to him because despite our differences, we get along pretty well and I'm worried I may blurt it out one day. I'm honestly so confused.

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I am a 14 year old female and this is my story (apologies for uncertain details as this happened a long time ago and I can't remember much about it). I'd like to start by saying both my parents are good people, my mum is one of the kindest people you will ever meet and my dad can be strict, but he means well and loves me lots. Both my parents care about me a great deal and would never intentionally hurt me. As a young child I used to wet the bed fairly frequently and get nightmares a lot, so I would sleep in my parents bed often to make me feel safe and to be able to sleep peacefully. Now I think I was about 5 or 6 when this happened. I'm not entirely sure why I wanted to sleep in my parents bed this night, but I'm pretty sure it was because I wet my bed. It was about the middle of the night when I woke my mum up requesting to sleep in her bed, and she complied and went to sleep on the sofa (I think to have more room to sleep). My dad is a deep sleeper and wasn't conscious when this was happening. ((Warning next part gets a bit graphic)) At some point in the night my dad started putting his penis in between my legs and rubbing it on my genitals. I'm pretty sure I didn't have any bottoms on from where I'd wet myself, but I might have. I don't think he penetrated me, but my memory is a bit hazy but I know his penis was definitely moving I between my legs. I was young and didn't understand that what was going on was wrong, for some reason I liked the feeling and not knowing anything about sex or incest I let him continue. I believe I fell asleep with his penis still between my legs. My dad obviously thought I was my mum because he wasn't aware we'd switched, and in a half asleep state was trying to be intimate with what he thought was his wife. His eyes weren't open when he was doing this so he didn't see it was me. When I woke up again in the same position part of me knew what had happened was wrong, but still not understanding the situation. I carefully detached myself from my dad and bolted out of the room. I thought I was going to get in trouble, so that's why I left. A few minuets later my dad came into my room asking where mum had gone. I told him she had gone to sleep on the sofa (but I didn't say I slept in their bed as to avoid 'getting in trouble'). I could tell he was really confused, in his perspective his wife had just randomly left to go and sleep on the sofa (I'm not entirely sure if he even remember what had happened but I think he did, although he still thought it was with his wife not his daughter) it must've been confusing. When I went to school I spent the whole day in a state of utter anxiety, I knew my dad was going to ask my mum what had happened and when she told him I stayed in his bed if he did remember then he would put two and two together and realise he'd been intimate with his daughter. However when I got home nothing was said about it, so I just assumed I was off the hook and didn't question it. I'm 14 now and nothing has been brought up about it ever since. So I still don't know if my dad knows, or if my mum and my dad know. Either I'm the only one who knows, my dad also knows and hasn't told my mum and just pushed it aside, or both my parents know and decided to leave it thinking I would probably forget about it if I remembered at all. I vaguely remember asking to sleep in my parents bed again and my mum saying no incase my dad thought I was her. Nothing like this has happened since but the constant not knowing whether they know is driving me crazy. I've never told anyone about it, I'm too scared to be judged, and it wasn't my dad's fault and I don't want people wrongly accusing him of being a paedophile because of what happened. I'm too scared to bring it up to either of them because if they don't know it would be so awkward. I am definitely traumatised because of what happened, it will randomly come into my mind and always make me feel upset and guilty. It's making my life a real struggle, and I know it sounds silly it's just so difficult- I see my dad everyday and he's so loving and caring, to think that we were intimate together makes me feel physically sick. So to link back to the question, does this count as sexual assault? Because although I didn't object I was only a minor not aware of what was happening, but my dad didn't know it was me he was being intimate with. Also what should I do? It's eating away at me keeping this inside but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone and I don't want my dad to get in trouble for something that wasn't his fault.
All answers will be really appreciated, and I'm sorry this is so long- I had a lot to get off my chest. Thanks.

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I am 18/F

I have been feeling kind of off emotionally/mentally for about 5 months

In the past couple weeks it has gotten much worse. I cry nearly every day. I feel lonely a lot unless I am with my friends. I am a Christian but I don't really know if I am anymore.... like I believe but I don't act on my belief. I always want to be alone in my room when at home but then get unbearably lonely.

Yesterday, I was home alone and had a breakdown that scared me a lot. I was working on packing because I am going to university, but I really didn't feel like packing. My room was a disaster so I went to sit in the living room with my laptop. While sitting there, I got this sudden wave of negative emotions. I wanted to scream, and tried to, but couldn't. I subconsciously started digging my thumbnail into my arm, and by the time I noticed I had almost drawn blood. I suddenly realized that I was very tempted to do that over and over. By that point I was crying and shaking. I was terrified that I would hurt myself badly or break something.

I eventually texted a friend and asked if I could go to her house because I was afraid of what would happen if I was alone for 3 more hours. (I didn't tell her that, I just asked if I could go over) she asked if I was okay and I just told her I was lonely and bored. I wish I had told her more but I hate talking about my feelings. I have been feeling off for months and never told anyone. And now I am going to university and won't see my friends for months

I don't know what to do with myself

Also, this is not the first time I have done that with my thumbnail, but usually I don't go far enough to bleed. Also occasionally I will scratch myself(in a very small area) until the skin is raw enough that it will scab over later.

I don't know what I am asking but maybe someone can figure out what I need.

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I have a male friend I have known for the past 16 years of my life and I tell him everything and I love him but not in a romantic way but whenever we meet up for lunch or coffee I always start feeling a little nervous around him and five minutes or so after meeting him that goes away. He and I have tried dating a few times in the past but I felt like it would be better if we stayed friends as I just wasn't feeling it but I still have the nervous feeling when I see himy and feel like I need to put a little extra effort in to looking good for him or subtly flirting with him when I feel sure I don't like him in that way.

What can I do? I know there is a chance he still has feelings for me (he told me years ago he liked me romantically but I didn't feel the same way for him) but now this is happening and I'm not sure what to do or if I should just ignore it.

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I am 23 yrs old, I started dating my boyfriend 10 months ago, he asked me to be his girlfriend as though he was proposing to me,he told me that he would never hurt me and he loved me and wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together...i was happy I thought this was going to be my last relationship after all the heart breaks I had been through, though we live an hour apart he was so sweet in the first 3 months of our relationship,he visited me every week, we had our first kiss after during a wedding ceremony,he was the first guy I ever celebrated vals day with though I have dated other people, he treated me well then things started changing, he stopped visiting, rarely called in fact I was doing to calling and texting and sometimes he wouldn't even reply or respond to my calls, this started when I wasnt able to get a job, I have never asked him for money or any material thing so it wasn't as if I was a liability,then I got one,which was really close to where he lives so we became closer and he became nice towards me again, but things changed. I am a virgin and its been hard for me to have sex with him, one day when I couldn't do it because it was painful and told him to pull out, he was silent for a while and then he told me I needed to stop visiting him frequently. I was sad because this is someone who told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I loved him and I just couldn't believe he said that to me. The next morning I packed my things and left he didn't call me or beg, I called him after 4days and we were back again. I quit my job because I couldn't handle it, and then he changed again, this time it was really bad, he didn't talk to me for a week and everytime I called he said he was resting, and busy, I complained told him that our relationship was suffering, he told me that I was disturbing him. After a week he started taking my calls but it didn't last for too long. He stopped inviting me out for functions with him, when I asked if I could come along he gave me an excuse. Another time he went for a wedding in another state and didn't tell me when he left and came back, I called and he was very rude to me on the phone we had a fight after that incident and didn't talk to each other. He started a new job during that period and I was tired of the silence so I decided to find out how he was, he didn't pick or reply my text, I was really sober I reminded him about all the times we shared in the beginning but he told me that my messages were nasty..He didn't talk me for two weeks,i called he never picked so I decided not to communicate with him for a while, he was even rude to my sister when she tried to find out what the problem was, yesterday I called him and he picked, I asked him why he was behaving this way and he said he had been busy at work( for two weeks). I told him that he shouldnt give me that as an excuse because he can't be so busy for two weeks and he wouldn't contact someone he is dating. We talked for a while and I told him that things need to change he told me that he would think about it and then we hung up. Today I realised that no one is ever to busy to do what they want to do and that he is just not interested in me again, and he can't be man enough to tell me it's over.. I sent him a message and I ended it though he didn't reply... It's been really hard and I just want to move on

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My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years but it's been very rough. We fought on and off and it has caused quite a few tears in our relationship. I'm not one to believe in Zodiacs but he's a Capricorn and I'm a Gemini. Every website I've been to has told us the road will be difficult. I'm more of a talkative person and I see life quite different than him. Hes very overprotective and quiet. I love to communicate whereas he doesn't mind being quiet on the phone allwhenever we have a chance to speak to one another. The problem is that it's gotten so bad that I think we've both come to the realization that we've both turned into people we're not from the constant fighting we've endured. Part of me doesn't want to give up because I put so much hope into him. However part of me feels like I'll never get what I want in this relationship. I'm 24 and I don't want to be branded by being associated with him. Clearly I can't have the best of both worlds but letting go is going to be so hard. What do I do?

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So my 4 best friends and I are going off to university this week. Tomorrow night we are getting together and giving each other letters.

I need to write a letter for each of my best friends with like memories and what I like about them and stuff.

I have no idea how to go about doing this. I am really not very good with words (but I can't draw either so that's not a viable alternative). Like I can form sentences but I just don't know what to say. My brain doesn't like to mix words and emotions...

Any help of any kind is welcome! Thanks

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Hi, I need some help.
I am 20/f. He is 24/m

So there's this guy who happenes to be a friend of mine for a long time. He had feelings for me but I didn't feel the same. He asked me to be his girlfriend multiple times and I would bring up excuses for not getting into a relationship. The last time he asked me was last Saturday and I said I couldn't be his girlfriend. Our communication has decreased since then but even though I said I didn't want to be his girlfriend then I do now. I'm starting to develop some feelings for him and I don't know how to confront him about that. What can I do

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I am a 17 year old girl and a junior in high school. I live with my 2 sisters, 1 brother, and mom and dad. I have been through a lot in my life. I was sexually abused when I was 4 until I was 11. I have been to 3 impatient care facilities and therapy for the past 5 years. My parents used to let me do a lot of things and trust me a lot. But as I have gotten older they have less and less. I do not lie to them, whenever they ask me what I've been doing I tell them, even if it is getting drunk in the woods. I let them have my phone location, literally anything they wanted in hope of being trusted, even though I have never really done anything to lose their trust. Although I do smoke a lot of pot, but I use it for ptsd because the pills don't help. I do well in school and I have a part time job. I have always wanted to be independent but never been allowed to basically because of my parents controlling my every move. I am going to be 18 in February and my question is should I get an apartment (probably rent a room)? I cannot stand being here and they don't let me out or go for sleepovers. I live in a 2 bedroom house with 6 people. I can't be here and I can't wait 2 more years for college. I am really not sure what to do or how I am even going to afford it. But I really don't want to ruin a relationship with my family. I just need to be independent and live my own life instead of my parents controlling my life. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think I should do.

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I am a 27 year old female and I hear about all these 12 and 13 year olds getting their periods. My middle sister got hers when she was 11 and my oldest sister got hers when she was 12 but I didn't get mine until I was 16 could this be why I have trouble getting pregnant? Thanks in advance.

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I know this is long.. but I am torn and need help. If you read to the end, thank you so much.
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship. We started out as friends. We had long deep conversation. We became closer and closer and we discovered our similarities. So similar that it was incredible. We fell deeply in love with each other. Now as to our relationship... I could go on for hours. It was the most beautiful experience I've ever had. No ex compared. Believe me, it was special and precious. And we never fought. We were too sensitive and loving towards each other. Our discussions were calm and understanding, always.
We made promises. We knew each other for a year and were together for about half a year. However we weren't able to visit each other because of other circumstances but we were committed to this.

Until one day, it was shattered. I'll start by saying
he promised me that he wouldn't flirt with other girls. We mutually promised not to flirt with others. With that said he also promised me he wouldn't call other girls cute, pretty, hot, or anything like that to their faces. He also told me he wouldn't act in anyway to suggest he wants to be flirty. Also he said he wouldn't say "awww" to a girl, and promised me that even if it sounds silly. He also told me if a girl flirts with him he would not engage with it, and that he would say he has a girlfriend and ask her to stop flirting. He also told me he won't compliment other girls. He also claimed he didn't even find others hot or attractive other than me now because he is only focused on me. But my friend messaged him on Kik messenger , flirting with him to find out of his loyalty is the real deal. For some time after she told me she did , I asked her to show me his response then and she always had an excuse why she couldn't. Later they turned out to be valid but she hasn't showed me until after my wondering why she wouldn't and my fear, I did it myself with a new username and picture.
On this other account I had made, the conversation went like this. "Her" refers to the answers I typed. It wasn't really another girl. It was me and he didn't know it.
Her: hey
Him : hey
Her: how are you?
Him: great , thank you. How are you?
Her: great as well. I like your pic. Your hair looks interesting
Him: awww thank you :)
Him: I like your pic too
Her: you're really cute ;)
Him: awww you think so?
Her: yes I do
Him: so are you
________
He broke his promises here. The conversation was obviously flirty in nature. And remember how i said he wouldn't say awww or awww thank you? He did this. He also didn't tell her something such as "I have a girlfriend and I'm not interested in talking this way" like he promised me he would if a girl was flirting. He also told me that he'd tell me about it if a girl did but he did not although he was chatting with her in this fashion.

His excuse was that he just did it because he was stupid... I told him I knew he did it because he enjoyed the attention and enjoyed flirting with her. He denied that and claimed it was just a "reflex" because he's used to talking to me that way. That sounds like a lie because it just sounds stupid and made up. Also because it cant a reflex from talking to me that way. The girl clearly wasn't me and it isn't like he typed without thinking. They were talking back and forth and he knew exactly what he was saying.

________
Now I'll write the conversation that my friend had initially had with him, and she had eventually shown me after I told her what happened. So, here is how this conversation with my friend on the Kik messenger with him went:
Hee: hey cutie we met a while ago wanna chat?
Him: we did?
Her: yes we did
Him the next day when we woke up: oh okay haha. Why did want to text me? :)
Her hours later: you're really hot!!
Him: I am? Thank you
Him several hours later: so you want to do things?
Him another several hours later: are you there?

He broke his promises here too. He didn't tell her he has a girlfriend and that he isn't interested. He asked her to do things [[ he thinks this phrase refers to sexual things .. ]] then asked if she's there.

__________ I confronted him And his excuse was that he wanted to find out how she got his kik and if she's just one of those kind of girls just looking to do things, you know. He told me he asked her to do things but wouldn't actually do it. He told me he asked her to do this because if she says yes that means she only wants to do that he said, And that would mean she's fake because no one texts a stranger and just starts falling them cute and hot. So I asked him why he would even care anyway. He said because he wanted to know how she got his kik.
But that excuse sound like a lie because he didn't have to ask her that to find out. And all in all he still broke promises with both of them.

But then I started second guessing my decision. He told me everyone makes mistakes and his friends all thought I shouldn't have broken up over it. I was scared that I threw away something amazing because of his "mistake". Yet , I have trouble believing his excuses and he still broke promises. I'm torn. I tell myself I'll find someone better but actually, I'm afraid I won't. And the way him and i were each other's closest friends.. best friends , before we fell in love and came together.. that's another thing im afraid I won't find, along with everything else I want. And moving on is already hard itself.. nobody is him. I love HIM. and I don't even feel like I'll find what I want. Something that will compare.
I want to take him back in away because of our beautiful past but ... The mistrust. And I don't even know if he's honest.
I don't know what to do :(

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Hi,

I'm looking for a free, secure music downloading program. I have used Ares in the past but it doesn't seem to be working. If you could link me to where I can download the program that would be amazing. Thank you! :)

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