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I feel unwanted and boring.
Female, 15
I am part of a pretty close knit group of about 7 people. We spend every recess and lunch together and we catch up frequently. We always are talking on our group chat and sharing things in our Facebook group. They're all my best friends. However, because we're all growing, our group isn't what it used to be. People are finding new interests and changing/growing.
I am quite weird and random, and sometimes I guess I come across as annoying to those who don't understand my humour. I love philosophy and am very curious about the world. I love nature and music. My friends don't really have that in common with me.
Recently every time I talk none of them listen to me, or they tell me I'm annoying or something. They say it in a sort of joking way, but because they do it so much I'm thinking they actually mean it. It's not everyone but it's a few people in the group. They go "you're so annoyinggg haha". I've mentioned how much they say I'm annoying several times before, hoping they realise that it actually affects me, but they just ignore it.
Whenever I talk to them about the world and issues that I feel actually matter, they turn around and start talking about how bummed they are that they got a 70% on their math test.
They're generally nice, but they can be pretty two faced at times, and fake towards each other and me, but only occasionally.
Overall I am confused and am not sure what I should do. Advice would be appreciated!!
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Hey.
So i completely understand where you coming from - im 16 and in my friendship group at school i feel like the least important there.
But just because that friendship group cant understand you doesnt mean youre boring - there are tons of people in the world and even in your school with the same interests and would be great friends. I think maybe you could talk to one of the people in your group that youre closest to when none of thw others are there and see what they say. If things dont improve, you should look for a new group. Its hard to lose friends, but its a part of growing up and in the end you will be happier. Unfortunately not everyone is openminded and intelligent and not everyone can get along with everyones personalities. Just try talking to new people at your school you could find someone who really intersts you and they could show you there group.
Good luck and i really hope things work out for you
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Hey love,
there's nothing wrong with your mindset and interests. You may feel boring and unwanted but that's just because the group of friends you're hanging with don't share the same interests as you! Out there in the world, in your school or wherever are people who share some of the same interest as you. Maybe some day down the road you'll meet people who you can feel more connected with and develop a great bond. As for your current group of friends... well, they're obviously not as open minded and intelligent as you are. So don't feel bad about those judging you. Continue to be and embrace your true self! No need to completely cut of the friends you have now if they're nice people but just know that people do change, drift apart or realize they're better off without someone. You'll have the opportunity to meet people and maybe even develop a good friendship with people who get you!
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Everyone matures at a different rate. As we mature our interest and some of our values change as well. While our basic values hopefully remain as they were instilled in us we acquire some new values and opinions with them.
You are learning new things in school such as philosophy. This has meaning to you, is a subject you enjoy and wish to explore. For your friends it is most likely just another subject they must endure in order to graduate so they change the subject when you bring it up.
As for the world, well right now the world can be a scary place and while they should be paying attention they have chosen to ignore while you have chosen to take note and explore.
What to do about this. First don't give up on these friends just note that your interests and theirs are growing apart. That when you are with them in school that your interests need to be tabled unless they ask for your input.
For you and your interest you need to develop after school activities to further your curiosity and interests. Talk with your philosophy teacher to see if there is a philosophy club at school. If there is not find out if the teacher would be interested in forming one with you. The same is true with your other interests.
I will admit it has been many decades since I was in high school though I doubt things have changed all that much. There were clubs for almost any scholastic interest as an afterschool activity. You can also look at your local community college to see if they have any clubs that are of your interest you can join.
Most importantly is to sit down with your parents and tell them what you want and need in this area. It is our job as parents to help you cultivate these areas of interest. Why, because these areas of interest will help you when you start to apply for college. Which is why I believe you will find these activities in school if you ask. These interest you are developing are interest's that come with maturity and both the interests and your level of maturity are what colleges look for on your application.
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You're clearly much more intelligent than they are and also they're clearly not your people. Worry not. You'll soon meet people who are interested in the things you are, who are open minded and can talk about everything and anything
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