I am a 22 year old Female. I feel i have great advice in terms of relationships. I have been in 2 long term relationships in my time and have encountered alot of situations, abuse, mistrust,anger,drinking,drugs. You name it i have been through it. I am a very open understanding person. I will not give you typical answers or tell you just what you would like to hear. My advice will tell you exactly how i would handle the situation while still considering the feelings and actions that are hardest to do and now you can overcome the hardest of times.
Because of the way i answer questions i have become very popular with friends and family as the go to person for advice. Feel free to ask me any questions and i will help you the best i can. I love to hear stories and be able to help people in need of any type of help.
#loveyouall
E-mail: Brittany.j.konschuh@outlook.com
Gender: Female
Location: Calgary
Occupation: Advice
Age: 22
Member Since: September 3, 2016
Answers: 5
Last Update: September 3, 2016
Visitors: 2102
Main Categories:
Abusive Relationships
Love Life
Friendship
View All
|
| |
Hi, I need some help.
I am 20/f. He is 24/m
So there's this guy who happenes to be a friend of mine for a long time. He had feelings for me but I didn't feel the same. He asked me to be his girlfriend multiple times and I would bring up excuses for not getting into a relationship. The last time he asked me was last Saturday and I said I couldn't be his girlfriend. Our communication has decreased since then but even though I said I didn't want to be his girlfriend then I do now. I'm starting to develop some feelings for him and I don't know how to confront him about that. What can I do (link)
| |
this is definietly a hard one. first thing i would suggest is telling him that you dont want to rush into a relationship and ask him to respect that. if he is a good friend he should be better understanding. But he needs to know that if he keeps pushing he is going to drive you away. Its not attractive to us girl when a guy is going to far. You need to have a talk with him and let him know whats up or it will effect your relationship. Just message him and tell him, i am sorry for the way i have been i am just not ready to risk our relationship. Even if you do have feelings now, i an tell just by the way you typed "starting to develop feelings" shows me that you are not ready. the reason he is getting distant is because he is confused and is unaware of what he should do. If he has been a good friend for a long time you should be confrotable with doing thiis.
|
I have a male friend I have known for the past 16 years of my life and I tell him everything and I love him but not in a romantic way but whenever we meet up for lunch or coffee I always start feeling a little nervous around him and five minutes or so after meeting him that goes away. He and I have tried dating a few times in the past but I felt like it would be better if we stayed friends as I just wasn't feeling it but I still have the nervous feeling when I see himy and feel like I need to put a little extra effort in to looking good for him or subtly flirting with him when I feel sure I don't like him in that way.
What can I do? I know there is a chance he still has feelings for me (he told me years ago he liked me romantically but I didn't feel the same way for him) but now this is happening and I'm not sure what to do or if I should just ignore it. (link)
|
i love this question, i have been through this. But i am going to give you some advice that i feel will help. I will not tell you the typical "yes you love him". Although this might be true, you have to think about other things first. Dating someone will either end in heartbreak or marriage. Are you willing to take that risk.
it is a fact that best friends typically young adults will not last and will end up with a very awkward relationship after. my advice depending on your age is that dont rush into anything, if this is truly a great friend they will be there for a long time to come. i would wait for a time when you cant control it anymore and you dont wonder about this question if you like him or not. you will just know. Go with the flow and just be yourself. if things are meant to be then they will be. Falling in love with your best friend is either the most amazing thing in the world or the most terrible thing.
|
|
I'm 14 years old, and I got my first phone when I was 12. I had secretly been going on a chatroom every night on my phone without my mom knowing. On there, I met a man who was 22 at the time and we chatted a bit- nothing sexual or romantic- but then we started talking every single night and we'd talk until the wee hours of the morning. I realized I had developed a crush on him and he said he kind of liked me like that too. By then we had been talking for a few months. So then he said he felt wrong and creepy about it and didn't want to talk anymore because he was afraid he was going to become a pedophile, but I loved talking to him, so I talked him into staying. That happened a few more times until I became 14 and I think he felt a little better about it. But now, I am realizing I'm just dragging him down. We never do anything sexual or inappropriate but we do like each other romantically and nothing can ever come of it. I would never meet with a stranger I met online so even when I'm grown up, nothing could happen. He's a great friend and I feel like I could tell him anything, but I don't know if I should stop talking to him. Is it wrong that we're talking? Is it unnatural and disgusting? He's one of my best feiends, so I want to do what's best for him and me. (link)
|
So the age difference is a little off, which i assume you already though having to ask this question. but as other people will tell you the age is the problem. I think that there is much more to worry about, the fact that he is online is a red flag people can say whatever they want to doesn't mean it is what is factual.
Honestly i think that the mental age will become more of a problem, the difference between you too will more than likely change over the years you grow. you will run out of things to talk about and soon you will not have interest in communicating with this man. For now as long as you are just talking and no addresses or numbers or any personal information is shared - be extremely careful. I dont see harm in it, i am young as well and have had the same connection with people online. But its harmless as long as no further action is taken. most people might disagree with this but i am not trying to be "Motherly" im trying to answer as a friend whos been there.
|
|
In the start of our relationship he seemed to be perfect but then i told him about something wrong i did because i felt hidding things will be wrong. I had a boy best friend who was my boyfriend before him but i dated him for one month and was friends with him since two years. One day i was at my best friends house and we got drunk and he kissed me i told him i love my biyfriend and i cant do this. He said i am sorry for everything it is my fault such thing wont happen again. I forgave him. I told my boyfriend about everything and that time he supported me and said its okay but then later on problems started more and he started getting pissed he told me that he hates that i still talk to him and i told him he is my best friend and you wers altight before then later on he forced me to throw him out of my life by beating me and abusing me. I did the same. Later on he started doubting me with every guy and then he started verbally abusing me first called me slut and then hit me again. When i argue with hin that i am not doing anything wrong now he hits me and says you are wrong. He has hit me 20 to 25 times in the 6 month relationship. He is very contolling. I dont talk to any of my friends. I dont go out. I am not allowed to argue. I am taunted always, abused and then beaten up if i share what i feel. He has some major temper issues and he blames me for everything that is happening. He used to beat his ex gfs also as he said they cheated on him and broke his heart. What should i do? (link)
| |
I have been though this as well i actually just left my boyfriend about a week ago. Things will never get better hun. i lived through this for over a year hoping that i could earn his trust back and fix everything. But you never will. Truth is he does not trust you anymore and that is extremely hard to earn back. My story was a best guy friend that i had known since i was 5 and he truly only was a friend. my boyfriend seen a message from him saying "Love you, bye" and even though we had been saying that for years as friend love he never got over it. 3 years later he still brought it up constantly even though i had deleted my facebook and even changed my number just so he could not contact me. It messed u my life. and i hope you dont do the same. You need to leave hun and when you do you will be so happy you did. friends are the best thing you could have in this crappy world. you need as many as you can get. I have alot of experience with this is you need any more help with anything email me! brittany.j.konschuh@outlook.com
|
I am 21 yo guy. In the past i have come out of an abusive relationship after i got fed up. I asked many questions which were answered here and have helped me deal with the trauma. However i m trying to build my life back now, And start afresh. I just get very anxious when my ex suddenly calls up asking to patch up. We did meet one last time before i called it quits. It however turned into a bashing session where i was again blamed for not keeping promises, and she was ready to forgive me and want to be with me. I was just so angry. When i flared up she said you hav always been like this,just gettin angry on me. Ironically for the entire relationship she was constantly getting angry and even threw my gifts and threw my ring in the drains just because she was angry. She even said she felt bad about the ring but it was okay because she loved me so she could angry on me too. I was the one always making up to her. Honestly i was a loser. Afraid she was the only one for me and would not be able to deal with it if she leaves me. She broke up 7 times in a year and i always apologized. Once i did not. Then she said i am so useless i cant win her back and i do not love her. She realized my value when i left and called many times. I however said no. Its just i want to start again. Be successful. Be myself. Be friends with girls again which i was stopped in the relationship. She calls me sometimes like wish me luck et al. I say thank you and cut off but it really haunts me for a month. The trauma. I need help !! My exams begin in 10 days
(link)
| |
The first step is absolutely block her number or facebook or anything that will remind you of her. i have been through this twice now 22 F. It is definitely not easy, but its the only way. I find relationships are just like a passing. You need to grieve for a while depends how long and serious your relationship was, but it will help. you need to get out there and once you do you will realize how much better off you are. get new girl friends that you can hang out with and they will definitely help you feel better about your self and be able to put the past behind you. I dated my last boyfriend for 4 years and it was the hardest part to just forget about them, but once you make your peace ad realize that you are young and wonderful it will be easier. look to friends and family for help as well, surround yourself with people who will pick you up and delete the girl, be the bigger person and let it go.
|
|