25 Female. Just a down to earth girl living life to the fullest. Ive had the ups and downs. Depression/anexity/family problems/sex life/relationships. I work in outpatient physc and love giving my best advice as possible.
Gender: Female
Location: Massachusetts
Occupation: Outpatient Pysc
Age: 25
Member Since: November 12, 2013
Answers: 69
Last Update: March 16, 2024
Visitors: 3953
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Thank you for reading my question.
I am just confused and will like some help on gender identity. Here we go….
I have been assigned the gender of a girl, but I don't always feel that way. Before you start to think "Transgender?", let me get to a point.
For example, one day I feel feminine. I look in the mirror and I absolutely love my body. But the next day I look in the mirror and I hate it so much. (Wait, I'm not done yet.) Then the day after that, I look in the mirror and I don't really care. As in, I don't feel feminine or even masculine. That was just an example. Each feeling could last a few days at the most.
Sometimes, and this just makes it more confusing, I want to wear makeup while wearing a tomboy outfit. Or even the other way around. I want to wear a dress, but no makeup.
This might seem like normal, but I am just very confused on my gender. I think I have one, but sometimes I feel like I don't. But I know that I'm not agender. Please help me.
Thank you so very much. (link)
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It sounds like you are still trying to figure out who you are. I think that you are a female and it’s okay wanting to wear make up etc and being a tom boy. Things are so different now these days people can identify as x , nothing is a decision that needs to be made over night
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I have been going through a really tough time. My serious relationship of 3 yeas ended. The guy ditched me just before marriage. This my 3rd relationship failure. I'm 32. People around me are getting married and kids. I don't have many friends. I'm alone ans cry everyday. My confidence is shaking. I don't hv anyone to share my deepest feelings. I regret many things in life. I feel anxiety thinking about
Read more: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=666294#ixzz6HK8mB7m2 (link)
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I am so sorry. I can’t imagine this pain. I encourage therapy and try and find things that you enjoy to do. Be kind to yourself it’s hard I know.
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I am 27 my BF 27.
I am in a long distance relationship for five years. We see each other 2/3 times a year. My boyfriend is very caring and nice. And off course I trust him a lot.
A few months back a saw a girl commenting on few of his post. and by her comment it seems like they chat sometimes. She always reacts with love react to his post. and sometimes comments praising his singing.
Now my BF has other female friends, they are his classmates and colleagues. And I am not insecure about them at all. But this girl is not his classmate or colleague.
Now I am not saying that he is having something with her. Like I said earlier I trust him completely. But I don't know why I have this weird feeling that the girl has a crush on my BF and she is trying to impress him. Should I do something about it? It is bothering me a lot. I didn't ask my bf about the girl yet. Should I ask him? How can I ask him? or should I just ignore it?
BTW we don't share our couple picture online or post anything about our relationship online. As me and my BF both are very private person. Our close friends and family members know about our relationship. But we don't showoff online. (link)
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This situation is shitty! I think that you should mention it to him that you trust him completely but have taken a notice in this girls liking on his Facebook. Ask who it is and you don’t want to make a big deal about it but out of curiosity. I am thinking she doesn’t know he has a girlfriend but girl take a hint!!
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Hi I don’t know so much about my desire to be under 90 lbs for the remainder of my life and I’m concerned I might be anorexic or worse and wanted to seek your advice on what could I possibly be facing. (link)
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Being under 90 pounds is unhealthy. Definitely seek medical help/therapy.
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I don’t know if there is a contest for weirdest question but I feel mine might qualify to be in the contest. My big question is about whether or not to keep my underarms shaved or to let the hair grow back to natural. I am a 14 year old guy in high school. My girlfriend is 16 years old and amazingly beautiful and way smarter than me and a funny sense of humor. I did a dare where I let my girlfriend and her friend shave my underarms in a video to prove I was in support of women who had to shave there when guys don’t have to do it. I was trying to be in support of women’s rights but I found out from her later that was just an excuse to prank me and I fell for it. I guess it was funny. I say it shows I will literally do anything to keep my girlfriend happy. My guy friends say it is “gay” which is not a cool thing to say no matter what but I think they literally mean only people who are homosexual do it. That is bogus because I know some athletes do it for things like swimming and wrestling and it has nothing to do with being gay or not gay. My sports are basketball and baseball so that is not a real excuse for me to do it but my point is different people do it. I personally like it. It feels good to be smooth there as long as I keep it shaved and my girlfriend says no hair makes my muscles stand out more. She said my pits smell better too even if I worked out or just finished practice which I think is just like the underarm hair getting wet and stinking and now it doesn’t. What she thinks counts for the most and she says I should not listen to my guy friends. She jokes she is going to dare me to do more shaving down below so I am hairless from the neck down. That makes me nervous but I think she is really just trying to make me squirm which she thinks is funny. My haircut is already super short which she picked out so not much more she can make me do that way. I am not a body builder but I do think I look a little more jacked without the armpit hair. I do like that she tells me take my shirt off all the time to check and she actually helps me keep it smooth. I know that is kind of weird but all the attention I get from her turns me on so I am like whatever you want to do sign me up. My dad told me I was insane to do it but he did not care as long as I did not get a tattoo or piercing. He was like it will grow back so no big deal. My mom does not know yet unless my dad told her but she did not act like she knows. My girlfriend said if I wanted to go back to normal it would be okay but she wants me to stay the same for now if I want to do it. She said if I got chest hair she would want me to keep it smooth too. I guess I will do what she wants because I want to be sexy for her the way she wants. Personally I think my guy friends need to get a girlfriend and then see how cool it can be if you make her happy. We are virgins because she wants to be and that is okay with me but all I am saying is there are a lot of very nice things without going all the way that can happen if your girlfriend knows you are into making her happy. For example, I will go shopping with her and carry her crap all Saturday because I know she will reward me later like making out which can be very awesome even if it frustrating to stop. Plus, it feels really good for her to say what a good boyfriend I am to other people and she also comes to all my games and some practices like my personal cheerleader which is awesome. Why would I give that up to have hairy armpits I did not even like. Sounds dumb to me. What do you think? (link)
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It sounds like you are an amazing guy and you have been raised right. I love the fact you want to make your girlfriend happy and it makes you happy doing it. If you don’t feel like she’s changing you continue doing what makes you happy. Boys will be boys making fun of each other but like you said it’s not gay sports do it etc. no judgement :)
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Ok, so my husband has a sex addiction. Over 16 years I have learned to suffer, forgive, and let go. Part of our trust agreement is I can look through his phone at will. He has secretly emailed and texts women and deleted the messages and lied about who they were. (says he has low self esteem). I thought our life was going pretty well. UNTIL last week. He left his phone home by accident and asked me to bring it to him at work. Being a nice wife, I did. But before I did I looked through it. Sure enough, He had set up a kik account and was talking to a girl half his age.(26) He is 54, and I wish he would grow out of this behavior. The comments were all hidden or deleted. Well, confronted him and he said it was a girl from facebook marketplace asking about items. He said it was easier to give her more answers on kik. LMAO!! He also gave her his number to text him. I was like WTF!!! So I messaged the girl and told her to leave my husband alone..etc. Whore slut.. what have you. I believed the phony facebook thing to give him the benefit of the doubt. She messaged me 2 days later and said HE messaged her on a poker app and that is how they started talking. NOW, He is giving me the silent treatment, withholding any kind of love. He said when I went snooping "I got what I deserved". So in other words, I have to let him secretly chat with women and our lives will be calm. I'm so angry, so lost. He claims there was nothing going on as does she (lives far away from us). But isn't the end game to secretly texting women to get something sexual out of it if that is his M.O.? Sorry so long winded. Thanks in advance. (link)
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I am SO sorry you are going through this. you do not deserve this at all. your husband should be treating you better. you did nothing wrong to deserve this do not blame this on yourself. I think maybe going to couples counseling would help. Maybe he can talk about what is going on and express his emotions to someone else. If not couples I think you should go. It might help you cope with things.
best of luck xox
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I am a 30 year old female and I live at home my mom and stepdad . I live at home because I have some disabilities. I just dentures and the place I went to did not do them right. My stepdad has took me 3 times already and refuses to take me again. The dentures are to big for mouthy. I can't even wear them . I don't drive due to anxiety. He yelled at me when I asked me to take me again. My mom can't take me due to an illness where she uses a wheelchair. I don't know where to turn. I even suggedted going on the medical van by myself because they take you to all appointments for free if you have Medicare but my mom said no to that. Is there anything else I can do to get these things fixed. I have been going around with no teeth. (link)
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Hey! Honestly..i would for sure look into a medical van. Im sure you could always call Medicare to see if they can help you in any sort of way. Uber is a common way to get around or a taxi. I'm sorry for step-father is frustrated. It sounds like a really hard situation. best of luck xoxo
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So I know this girl and we both went to highschool together. I've always admired her and I wanted to be friends with her but I was always so shy and when she did talk to me I'd come off stand off ish because I felt self-conscious of myself. Over the years after high school I kept bumping into her at random public places but we never said hi or anything because I guess we were never that close. Anyways this year, my bf got into dentistry and surprisingly the girl also got into dental hygiene at the same school as my bf. So occasionally I would see her at events and stuff and the other night I was so drunk that I came up to her and hugged her .... Ive been feeling so embarrassed ever since and I can't help shake off the feeling that I came across weird. Unconsciously I feel like I'm trying to find ways to be her friend but I feel like I'm coming across weird and obsessed. It's like fate keeps bringing me and her together..is this weird? I feel self conscious. How can I stop feeling this obession of wanting to be her friend? (link)
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Hey girl! Sorry for answering this so late. I DO believe this could be fate. I mean you keep bumping into her. She got into dental just like your boyfriend like what a small world! I hope today you guys are best friends.
xoxo
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Should i break off my marraige of 7 years
My husband has a gambling problem and we are aleays broke
I met another man 2 months ago i love him but he is living with his sistet
I dont know if he loves me of is just looking for a place to stay
Im confused
Please help (link)
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You had an affair with someone you’ve known for two months break that off! Work on your marriage go to counseling don’t give up so fast
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So this guy & I dated for a month, and somewhere along the line, my best friend texts him to break it off with me because she doesn't think he is deserving enough & that we will not make each other happy in the long run. He listens to her. After the break up, I ignore him for a week due to all the advice online about getting an ex back by no contact, talk/hang with his friends, & find him posting things about getting back together on sc. The guilt catches up to me, & I decide to meet up. We talk & conclude with 1. we're going to keep up communication & friendship 2. he is not sure if things are completely over, but wants time to be single to figure it out, & 3. he wants me to be happy. Where do i go from here if i still love him & what do I do about my best friend over crossing her boundaries? (link)
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FIRST, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. Who honestly does that. Your best friend is suppose to SUPPORT YOU. I'm thinking she has a crush on him...like why would your best friend ruin your relationship? And im not really sure why he would listen to her unless he had some type of feelings for her too. I would deft talk to her and tell you that your hurt. for him. they say once an ex is an ex that stays in the past. IF you can be friends with an ex it either means 1 you both still have feelings for each other or 2 you both never really loved each other in the first place. if you want to continue being his friend its going to be hard for you to see him with someone else and so on. What do you think will make you happy? being with him? be with him and tell him he needs to make up his mind weather he wants to be with you or not because you are not going to wait around for him..
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Does wearing all black make me gothic if i wear it all the time? i like to wear black jeans with black dress shoes and black turtle neck with a black suit jacket People say i look like im going to a funeral when im not Im just embracing my darker side (link)
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I wear black all the time... black on black. I think more of a darker funeral side is like caking your face with black makeup and black nail polish. Black hair, I think that is more gothic. you wear whatever you want who cares what anyone else says or thinks :)
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guys i need your help once i fingered my self but not hard that was all but if i tuchd my fathers pants or something like that an i be pregnat ? but i dont even put my fingeri in so hard so i dont even know if i tuched anything but thats my quesstion
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I hope to god toy didn't touch your fathers pants.....You are not pregnant. You did not have sex with someone where their male semen goes inside of you.
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I'm 12 my mum and dad broke up 8 years a go don't try to stop me committing i want to end it i just want a painless way to do it (link)
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Omg!!!! DO NOT FEEL THIS WAY. MANY MANY MANY people feel like this. PLEASE go to your doctor. google a hot line to call and talk to someone. Just because your parents broke up doesn't mean you need to hurt yourself. YOU have SOOO much to live for!!! Some days are harder then others but please talk to someone. It might not feel this way now but so many people love and care about you. I understand the pain you are feeling but doing this does not help anything its selfish and it only hurts you and all the people around you...xoxox
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Hiya,
what's boy actually thinking, when he says, 'but we can stay friends' after a conversation that he was asking me, how long have you been with your bf. he also asks you do like when I joke this way with you, if you don't like it tell me to stop making jokes. the thing is his way of joking seems like flirtatious to me. we both have partners. he has a fiancé and I have a boyfriend. but I'm trying to understand why would he say he wants to stay friends? is he just waiting if there's any chance he could ask me out in the future if we stayed friends? we have been friends for a few months so we do know each other. thanks all
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Seems to me he is being unfaithful to his fiancé, If he was being this way towards you he shouldn't be settling down marrying someone. I would honestly cut all ties if you truly care about your boyfriend. Its not worth it and he kind of is a loser if he is trying to flirt with you while he knows you have a boyfriend and hes engaged. He can only do so much on how much you allow him. You are allowing him to be flirtaous set the ground rules and be like Yes, we are friends...and that's the way I want to keep it I truly care about my boyfriend.
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I m living alone and i get a maid to clean every once in a while want to tease her and make her suck me or fuck her
How can i do it??? (link)
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ummmm how disrespectful are you? That is their job....they aren't hoes that go around cleaning house to get fucked. Find a prostitute and make her wear a maid outfit.
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My wife and I have a great marriage. She and I have another male/female couple that we have regualr sex with. I currently make love to my male friend about four times a month. My wife and my male lover's wife would like us guys to have sex more often, they mentioned having sex about 15-20 nights per month. Is is a good idea? (link)
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Honestly I am not really sure on how to answer this. I never have had an open relationship having sex with other partners. I also never experienced same sex interaction either. If you and your wife are okay with it I think you do whatever your heart tells you. I think its odd..but many people have odd realtionships and that's okay. I haven't had sex in about two months so 15-20 bless your soul that's a lot. Just don't overwork yourself and make sure you are doing this for yourself, not because its what others want even if its someone you love.
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I am thinking about changing schools, but my friends are making me feel bad about it, even though this new school is better for me than the one I am going to now.
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This is very vague. If changing schools is what YOU want, you should do it. If you think it will help you in the long run do it. If these people are your "friends" they will stick by you no matter what. I am sure they will just be lonely and miss you but it is an adjustment. You need to make the best decision for yourself. Remind them that you are doing this for yourself and your not going anywhere. You might not seem them everyday but it doesn't change the friendship you have and you will still make effort and time to see them.
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So in high school I never really had that group of friends I would usually jump from group to group and never really had a best friend I mostly had acquaintances. However I'd like to say I hung out with certain groups of people more than others and would even hangout with them outside of school. So now that high school is done I don't see these people at all anymore and I've realized how I don't have any friends and that most of these people were only my friends because we saw each other everyday. I feel like it's my fault because I should've tried to develop a close relationship with these people cause now if I see a photo or a post of social media of these groups of people hanging out with each other I get sad because they didn't event think to invite me and when I ask if they're free they always say they're busy. I'm always the one to text these people first and if I don't text them at all I won't hear from them. I've tried so hard to make new friends at my new school but if you've seen my previous posts you'd know the friends I made were either fake or just acquaintances who just came for lecture and don't want anything outside of class. Please help with tips on either how to get these old friends to remember I exist or how to make new friends? Cause being shy literally ruins everything thanks in advance (link)
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Hey! I TOTALLY feel your pain. In highschool I would hang out with some groups of friends too. I did sports but I didn't have any friends on my sports team. I would talk to some of the girls and be friends with them but I was way too shy to even make any friends and I actually became really depressed over this so I understand where you are coming from. Girls are just so mean and I don't know how many times I can say that. For me I started making friends from my work..Once I left highschool I went to college yeah but I didn't dorm there I didn't make any friends. I don't have 1 friend from highschool and im 25. So I understand where you are coming from and its hard. I don't know how I got through highschool honestly. Anyway, my first job was a waitress/hostess as a restaurant. I made a lot of "work friends" But I also made probably one of my best friends I ever had from work. So if you do work maybe try and spike up a friendship there? Also, my other suggestion is if you are from the US they have an app called Bumble. You can use it for dating but there is also a button called Bumble BFF. I recently have met many girlfriends to have drinks with and hang from this app. I 100% recommend downloading it if you can. Just try not to stress about things. If you want to reconnect with old friends I would just make a plan have the suggestion, date and time so they can give you a yes or no answer. If you don't feel the love back as much as the love you give try not to stress over it and move on. It can be lonely and girls are really hard to meet. I wish you the best of luck and remember none of this is your fault so don't blame yourself!
xoxox
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My boyfriend is 20, we have been together for over a year. Overall the relationship has been good. We do fight a lot but we get over it. Our fights are stupid and nothing big enough for us to break up. We are constantly together, literally. Almost everyday we hang out, hes always hanging in my house, etc. My family likes him very much. Hes nice and attentive, and respectful. I live in a house with my mom, dad, and almost my dads whole family. His brothers, sisters, cousins. All from my dads side. I have in specific a aunt, her name is Mary, in which her husband and her think that they are better than everyone else. They are always mysterious on everything they do, and that goes for her daughter as well, my cousin. On many occasions her husband called my mom to talk shit about my boyfriend and problems hes seen around the family. (My cousin was sexually molested by our uncle when she was 16. He touched her breast, and her bottom parts. )
She is now 25.
My boyfriend didn't really like her because she was always acting annoying, mysterious, or wouldn't want him around whenever she wanted to tell me something.
One night it was my parents, my moms cousin who came to visit, my boyfriend, and I; all drinking in our living room and listening to music enjoying a good time. I heard my cousins were upstairs so I texted them to come down so we can have a good time. My boyfriends not the type to drink, hes a light weight, he barely ever drinks. At around 3AM my cousin, the mysterious one, her name is Laura. She wanted to go get something to eat, since i was the only sober one i drove.Once we got in the car my boyfriend sat in the back, then my cousin Laura got in, and my other cousin sat in the front. I thought it was weird how he sat in the back since he never does. We went to pick up the food and came back home. My boyfriend seemed like he wanted to go he kept insisting lets go lets go, but he ended up not even eating that night. The next day Laura sees me and my boyfriend, she says hi to us. Says hi to him gives him a kiss on the cheek, asks how he was doing and then leaves. That night she told me she needed to talk to me. She then tells me she wouldn't say anything around him and waits for him to leave. It was now 11o clock at night and Then she tells me how in the car on our way home he put his hand on her lap, and as we got closer to the house he started going up. She starts crying and telling me that she would never lie, and that it brought her memories from our uncle. Shes crying, and i'm crying. I'm pissed because he did weird shit like not eat and sit in the back. He was drunk, I remember him telling me he felt very tipsy and didn't want to sit in the front. The next day he had a bad hangover, he kept throwing up. Hes gotten drunk with them on 2 occasions with me not being there because i was on vacation. I don't know what to do. He keeps telling me and swearing that he doesnt remember a thing. He wants to apologize to her, but she doesn't want to see him. I feel like he was really drunk and he fucked up, but from the moment he put his hand on her lap she should have taken it off and not waited for him to go higher. This may sound very misogynist but hes a guy, and all guys try to do the same shit. She told everyone that his hand was on her lap and now everyone hates him. hes not even allowed to be in family parties. My parents tell me that not to worry, they saw he was really drunk as well, and that shes being dramatic. She said hi to him like nothing, even kisses him on the cheek, and then waits a whole day to tell me. When our uncle did this to her, she waited about the same amount of time to say anything and then accused another far uncle of doing the same thing and said he used to do it "years" ago. Shes pissed that im questioning her on why she didn't say anything, she says she was just trying to protect me. I understand he fucked up but he was drunk!!!! and hes willing to face it!! Shes taking it too far, like if he raped her or something. They never liked him to begin with just because he wasn't in college, ( he is licensed). HELP OPINIONS AND THOUGHTS?! (link)
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Honestly this is such a weird situation. I'm sorry your going through this. Yes, you are right that she should have said something in the car like why are you touching me? She needed to stand up for herself and not let it go as far as it did. It also was none of her business so spread this around to your family when it should have been between the two of you. She seems very selfish and very attention seeking. She obviously needs help from a doctor about her past about the whole Uncle thing. The fact that she kissed him on the cheek makes it seem like shes asking for it and going behind your back. Like she is egging him on. Like I wonder if they were looking at each other before you went and got food and had some kid of vibe. I also wonder if she was trying to test his limits. Your boyfriend should have never done the things he said and "I don't remember" is a lie. There was no way he was so hammered he didn't remember touching someone. I think the three of you should all sit down and get it all straight because if you don't nothing will go back the same. As for your family they don't want him around because your cousin made some big thing out of it that she was taken advantage of that makes your boyfriend look like a huge dick. Honestly the problem needs to be addressed weather your cousin likes it or not for everyone's peace and sanity. Good luck
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I am a Senior in College. I had a huge crush on thia girl since i was a freshman ! After a long gap of 3 years, i confessed my love to her,since i did not want to regret it. I was a bit scared, so i first confessed everything anonymously to her. It was a platform for confessions where it remains private between 2 people. I revealed my identity after a couple of weeks. She was surprised ! I told her everything i felt about her,But it was over text. She seemed to take interest.I told her how crazy i was about her. But there was one thing. I used to get late replies. On her birthday, i played guitar for her and she loved it. I asked her that i would like to talk Somethings in private so i asked if she could meet me 20 minutes before lectures start.It was in college campus and i had no otherwise intentions. I wanted to propose. She said she would let me know after lunch. I waited till evening. Nothing ! The next day we met and were in a group of friends. She acted as if nothing ever happened.! Even i acted the same talking casually.She never even revert back for apologies that she didn't tell me when to meet.I never understood what happened ! If she wanted to reject why did she accept meeting me in the first place ?
Why did she listen to my feelings and royally dump me. She obviously could have rejected and i would have respected it. But this was insulting and weird. Help needed (link)
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From a girl...I think she only sees you as a friend. I bet she didn't want to hurt your feelings so she kind of just said ill let you know and never replied back to you knowing she didn't want to meet up with you to lead you on. When she saw you the next day she probably didn't want it to be awkward. She didn't really "listen to your feelings and dumped you" From what I get is that you confessed your love her so she was probably taken back and flattered but didn't know about the situation. Just move on from the situation you will find someone who likes you just as much back.
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