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I dated a guy for a year and 5months.Few months down the line,we had to go to our separate universities far awayand we lost contact.After a year,we started talking again.We fell for each other again.Anytime we are together,we kiss(thats the only thing we do besides talking and playing).I told him abt my fling with another guy in sch.He was angry and jealous.He told me he wants to be my first everything(He doesn't touch me).He keeps telling me that will continue choosing me over other people.I know he has flings with other girls,bt he doesnt want me to have with other guys.How sure can it be that he loves me??. And do you think we can have a future together? (link)
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That's the definition of double standards. Why does he get to hookup with other women but you sit around and wait for him like a good girl. If you are meant to be it will be but until then you should live your life. Have flings or random hookup, you are young and it's not written in stone that he is the one for you. Try new thing and see where it takes you. You don't owe him anything, you owe it to yourself to live your life to the fullest.
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I'm in college and I feel like I don't have any "good" friends. I just moved recently so I haven't been able to many any new friends yet, just some new acquaintances.
Anyways, my best friend I've known for 8 years, but I feel like she's totally stuck on herself. All she ever talks about is what's going on in her life and I can literally be crying and she just keeps talking about herself. She talks to me throughout the day everyday, but it's always all about her. If I say something about me or my life she totally ignores it and keeps talking about herself.
She's also obsessed with her boyfriend. I haven't seen her in a year because she only hangs out with him and now he lives with her so I'm probably never going to see her again. I fully expect her to marry him because he's her first boyfriend and no matter what he does he can do no wrong in her eyes. He's a complete loser, who works two days a week PT, does drugs, drinks alcohol and has a useless bachelors degree. Even though she wants to marry him ASAP (they've only been together a year) he tells her to her face all the time that he wouldn't marry her and doesn't plan on getting married for a long time. Yet she still stays with him.
She also always talks me into breaking up with my boyfriends and will research all of their information to dig up dirt on them without me asking. Now I can't tell her anything about who I'm dating because she'll point out all their flaws and rips them apart and I realized she wants me to be alone so she can brag about her boyfriend.
Next my other best friend I've known for four years but a year ago she got pregnant and now she never leaves her house and stays with her abusive husband who only married her because he got her pregnant (literally the day he found out they went and got marriage papers so he wouldn't look bad to his family). They didn't even have a wedding. He's choked her and hit her before but she refuses to leave him no matter how much help I offer her. I also never see her anymore because her husband won't let me in the house. Once the cops were called when he choked her and threw her onto the ground telling her he would kill her in front of the baby and the neighbors overheard. She lied to the cops and said nothing was happening and continued to live with him.
My next friend is a guy and his wife hates me because she thinks we're secretly dating when we're not. She constantly talks about me behind my back and says things that aren't true. He comforts me and that's nice, but then he tells me all about how much his wife hates me and I'm sick of it. He also always insists on coming over (every single day) and then gets upset when I refuse to let him.
I feel like I have rotten friends and I want to be rid of all of them, but I don't have any other friends right now since I've moved and everybody else stopped contacting me when that happened.
I hate to lose my friends, but they're all incredibly negative sources of energy in my life. I feel like they're all making bad life decisions while I'm just trying to get my degree and make a good life for myself. I also hate being alone though and without anybody to lean on I feel depressed and anxious so I put up with them because I don't have anybody else. :(
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First of all let me just start buy saying that you have awful friends. They are to self involved and have a lot of baggage.
My advice to you is to distance yourself from them, from what you wrote it sounds like you really tried to help and be there for them. There is an African proverb that says '" you can take a donkey to the river but you can't force it to drink the water'" same thing applies to you friends, you can offer you help but you can't force them to accept it. The best thing you can do for you is to move on, get friends that will appreciate you. you are in college for God's sake, you should be going out, having fun not cleaning up other peoples mess.
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I met a guy on deviant art who was 20 (I'm 13 but I turn 14 on January 7th) and we started talking. I never had my age or name up on my profile. Or how I looked like. So he didn't know how old I was or any of that. He saw my art, though and thought I was so great. He had a fan fiction series he was writing and I suggested he made a Wattpad account for it. So he did. And we chatted on there more. One day I suggested he added a cover to his fan fiction and he said he wasn't too good at making covers so I offered to draw one for him. I finished it within a week (I think). He loved it and even told me I did so well, he kinda wanted to give me virtual kisses because of it. I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to respond at first. Then I replied- "That's cute. *virtual kisses* 😘" He did the same. Ever since, we'd been giving each other virtual kisses and I was had been so into him while we were talking as friends so I went along with it. Later on, we got pretty close and I lived it. However, one day I was just looking around at his profile and I saw it. He was 20 effing years old. I didn't know what to do because I was already so into him and thought my age could scare him off. But I ignored it for a while. Months later (and quite recently) he asked me how old I was and my hear freaking SINKED. I freaked out big time and didn't know what to say. I was thinking "Should I tell him my real age?" "What if he never talks to me again?" "What's gonna happen?" Eventually, I freaked out and told him I was 15, thinking it would freak him out a little less (again, I'm 13). His reaction wasn't really good at first but he said he'd wait for me and he thinks I'm turning 18 in 2019 but I'm really turning 18 in 2020. So instead of 3 years, he'd have to wait 5 years for me to turn 18. It's almost been a month since then and I'm in love with this guy. I know how he looks, how he sounds, and everything. He has a YouTube channel as well but anyways yeah. We've been texting on Kik for awhile now. But idk what to do, PLEASE HELP. WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING A LOT AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET EACH OTHER ONE DAY. IM SCARED HOW HE'LL REACT AND THAT HE'LL STOP TALKING TO ME!!! HELP!!!!!
I don't even CARE if he doesn't want a relationship. Just having him still talk to me will be enough. (link)
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I know that once you lie you can't go back. It just piles up. That really sucks.
And I also know that you think you are in love him but you are not. You are in love with the idea of him, you are freaking 13 yrs, you haven't seen the world yet or meet the one. One day you'll look back on the situation and think to your self 'what the hell was I thinking'. What am trying to say is 3years is a long time, you might not even be in communication with him anymore. You would have met someone else by then. When you are in highschool you'll understand what am trying to say. What you should do now is just keep talking to him but not as much, cut back a little, hang out with pwopke your own age.
Best of luck
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Question Posted Tuesday October 4 2011, 1:28 pm
i do not know how to start this but appology for this long statement. i couldn't analyze these things anymore... let me start it this way, i am married for almost two years now and i love my husband. recently, i work with this lady and i find her very attractive. the thing is i don't know if she's gay or not and sending me mixed signals. i find her going on her way just to be around me or something, used to flirt with me before (i've seen her before i worked with her), stares at me when am not looking, used to stare at me when i was talking (before) and seems to be jealous when i talk to another men (like in a friendly way, not flirty). MOST IMPORTANTLY, i wonder so much why does our coworkers watches us whenever we are around together. they look at us, literally! it seems to me that they are listening to our body language or something. i don't understand... i really don't. since i started working with her i don't remember doing any flirtatious act on her. i never have. the only thing that happened was before i worked with her. like i say 2-3 times. well anyways, all of these happened before until last night... she worked with me directly and asked me bunches of personal questions like how is my husband, where did we met, etc and etc... do i have plans going back home to my country. i said yes i do. but am looking for someone to fly with me so i won't be by myself. she said she would go, she'd love to. then later when i asked her to go out with me and my friends because my other friend is bringing another person ( i don't wanna be out of place) she said yes if i wanted her to go (said yeah i do) and asked if we go to a bar and i said nope we don't do that. we just go out shopping. she said that's cool. i just thought you want me to WORK FOR YOU (what in the world does that mean???). that really got me. i laughed it out though. i asked her number and she gave it to me. later i asked her if she wanna go out watch movie, she said it's up to us. i can see she seemed to be starting in doubt, so when i got off from work i told her she don't have to go if she don't want to and that if something would come up. i even said i really like her and she said oh really? (she said it in a deep low voice) but i didn't told her that in a romantic way. she said she'll let us know and that she's saving her money because she's going to college soon. well anyways the fact is nobody knows am bisexual but i can see that she can sense that (that am bi). well, an hour after i texted her and she seems to be not interested or something...? i asked her questions and she answers it but she's not reciprocating my point on texting her and asking her out. i just wanna know her and be friends. she's very nice in every way. gracious i must say. am attracted to her, i admit that. however, i know where i stand on my ground and i cannot act on it. did she found everything weird? is she losing interest on me or did she even have an interest with me at all?
i honestly don't know what is going on so please please please i need everybody's help here analyzing these situation. am not even understanding my own self. i wanna know what is going on with her and what does she want from me.i (link)
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It seems that she is into you and you already know that but you keep stringing her along, you may say you just want to be her friend but she's holding out hope for you too, frankly, what your doing is just hurting the poor girl, she knows your married and still hangs out with you. You should try put yourself in her shoes. The best course of action Is to sit with her and talk it out, it may seem hard right now but it is what's best for both of you, be honest and just lay it all out there. I know it's hard but you can't leave with the uncertainty and she needs to know that nothing can happen between you two.
Am sorry if I sound harsh but it had to be said. Tough love an all that
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Men, would you prefer a virgin female or a non-virgin female and why? (link)
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It actually doesn't matter, what matters is that you love each other and if he is shallow enough to worry about that kind of things, he ain't worth it. If someone loves you it wouldn't matter to him that your a virgin or not.
Not am man but I felt like it had to be said.
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I was having sex with two different men when I got pregnant here are the details which one do you think is more likely to be the father?
My first day of my last period was feb 10
My cycle is 27days
I had sex with guy a on feb 20&21
I had sex with guy b on feb 25
I took a morning after pill with 3 days after guy a but since I waited so long it was less likely to work j think 70-80%
Guy b said he pulled out but that's up to speculation
Using ovulation calculators they are both possibilities....I think guy a has more possibility.
I understand this will raise unwanted comments towards me. I know I messed up I'm 25 and it was a drunken mishap and I'm aware I can pay to have a prenatal paternity test done. (link)
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Its really hard to tell because you had sex with both of them around the same time you're supposed to be ovulating, but it's probably the 1st guy, because you had sex with him twice and you are supposed to take the emergency contraceptive within 72 hours not after. So he is a safe bet but it wouldn't hurt to get the paternity test done. I really hope it works out. No judgements here, you messed up, it happens to best of us.
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Okay so I am writing this post argument, might be still a bit angry but here goes.
I am dating and in love with a coworker. The company we are in has absolutely NO policy against employees dating, there are even some that are married. However we are quite high in the executive ladder I should say we work directly for the owner. So when this started because we didn't want our boss to judge or think decisions were biased, we kept it on the down low.
It has been two years now, in which I think our boss already might suspect something ( it has been a long time and he would be blind not to) but he hasn't brought it up. We havent made it public either at work its all professional.
This makes me think it really doesn't matter. The company also doesn't have any of the typical Human Resources department where you have to declare a relationship so we haven't.
Here comes the issue. The company we work for is owned by someone in high society. This is a society that my boyfriend was born into but I just recently came into because of this job. Not that I am poor or anything like that, it is just in a different country, a small country, and I am foreign. People have taken well to me and are really welcoming. However, my boyfriend keeps saying that in this society people are very judgemental and if they knew we worked and lived together they would judge and talk and gossip.
Not being from this country I don't know about this, and also, I don't care what people think. My boyfriend says he doesn't either, and he has introduced me to people , not saying he hasn't, but I keep getting the feeling that he thinks the situation is embarrasing and he doesnt want people to talk.....which obviously makes me not feel so nice.
The fight tonight was over a party, he was invited by some friends, some I haven't met, that are from that society, and he didn't invite or want me to go because of that reason that he didn't want to explain to people we worked and were together.
After two years of this relationship in which he says he loves me, it makes me angry and suspicious he still cares what people think when I know the company doesn't. His argument is that even though they say they don't care out loud they still judge and he doesn't want anyone to mess it up for us.
Now we argued for maybe 20 minutes in which he either saw my point of view or just got tired of arguing ( I cant decide which) and told me ok fine lets go you can come.
But to be honest by that point I didnt even want to go especially when he said " well its not a nice situation to explain to people". I didnt want to go anymore, I just wanted him to see my point. And he did, according to him so he invited me, but I didn't go. I dont want to be somewhere he will be embarrassed to have to explain me. To be honest Im debating wether its ok to be in a relationship someone is emabarrased to have to explain to society. Not his friends or family, they know, its just other people.
Did I act correctly, arguing a point and then not going??? I dont know what is right in this situation because its tricky. On the one hand, I don't buy this selective secrecy, after two years. And on the other, I really love this person and want to give them the benefit of the doubt they want the best for us. But I am not sure anymore.
Also I am not sure if I should have gone, but my feelings were just I really did not want to be somewhere I felt I wasn't particularly wanted, even if in the end he seemed like he agreed with me.
Another doubt is how do I act tomorrow. I stayed home, now I don't know what I should do when he comes home. I am pretty upset over this.
Advice?
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You have every right to feel the way you do. It has been 2 years now and he still hasn't acknowledge you as his girlfriend to any of his friend or family. We leave in a time where women marry women, men marry men, what am trying to say is, we live in a world where difference is celebrated and just because you're of different ethnicity or social standings doesn't mean your not worth it. You should ask him to make a choice once and for all, you have been far too patient for far too long. It's time to put you're foot down.
If you have just started dating, his hesitance would have made sense but it's been 2 whole years. I hope you understand what am trying to say here,you deserve better. Make the right choice for you, always choose you.
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I had an relationship wit a guy for year thn he ditched me ,after tat its almost two years times he calls mebut I rarely pick up ,a day I messaged him and his friend answer wit abuses ,actually I sent him I hate u asshole n his friend replies with abuses too ,shouldn't my ex should have taken his cell n replied n not let his friend tauk ? (link)
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He is obviously messing with you and the fact that he let's his friend insult you shows that he is a jerk. Don't give him the power to hurt you more than he already has. The best thing to do is try to forget him, don't text him or call, even if he or his friends insult you, don't reply to them. Nothing pisses people off more than ignoring them, trust me. Good luck!
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Alright, I'm in my 20's and I'm having an extremely hard time meeting guys. Everytime I meet a guy I have an interest in, they shove me away and will never give me a chance, plus they turn out to be complete jerks. It's rather frustrating. On the other hand when guys approach me they end up stalking me on social media or harass me non-stop up to the point where I am completely suffocated. This may sound whiny, but SERIOUSLY what's going on? I meet jerk after jerk or extremely desperate ones. I'm extremely casual around guys because of all the nonsense I've dealt with. How does everyone meet guys? I've tried some sites and have gone out but don't seem to be meeting healthy men. Advice. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Where do you meet a caliber kind of guy? Thanks in advance.
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You're putting too much pressure on yourself, I understand the need for a companion but you have to take it easy, don't come on too strong to the guys you like. Take some time for yourself. You are your first love, love yourself first. everyone has someone and you'll find yours. It's only a matter of time. Be patient and you'll find love
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hi ...im a girl, 17 and i and 8 boys are going to driving school...two of the boys are my brothers ..one of them is older and 2nd one is my twin so we go to same class...the rest of the boys are my classmates too..my classmate (girl) was supposed to go to but she isnt..so i thought i was going to be the only girl..but when we had first like lesson there was some girl..at first lesson i didnt sit with her bc i didnt know who is was..then my brother told she also lives in the same part of city as we do which is great..the second time we had "driving" lesson i was sitting with her and we introduced..we talked but not much bc im shy and i didnt know what to say..then boys asked me whats her name etc,, i told them and they found her fb...i wanted to send her friend request bc i want to be friend w/ her but i didnt wanted to look like I immediately looked for her fb account which i didnt..the boys did..tomorrow we have "driving" lesson again and i dont know if or how should i ask her for her fb so i could add her as a friend and she too..please help mw with that..i dont want to be awkward..and also what should i talk with her about ? :) please help (link)
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Be casual, don't come on too strong. Since you've already talked to her before it shouldn't be hard. Don't request her just yet, sit with her, talk to her , find out what you have in common, it shouldn't be so hard since your the only girls there then just casually mention facebook, just say "hey? You on facebook, we should be friends" . It okay to be nervous maybe she's shy too. Just be yourself am sure it will all work out. Goodluck!
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I am a 16 year old guy and I met this girl on the internet through my friends one day. She is 15 years old and she has a lot of similar interest to me. My first time merting her was from using Skype, where it was my 2 friends her and myself. Due to certain circumstances, my 2 friends had took go and I was left alone with this girl. I don't know how it happened but we ended up skyping for 7 hours straight. She started talking about her life and past, and how she is always alone at school. So as any normal person would, I tried comforting her. I seemed to cheer her up quite a bit and I was quite satisfied with myself that I was able to help a 'stranger' out. After this event, she added me on facebook and we started talking. This was when I started realising some.. Flaws of hers. She started doing many things that was quite annoying. Since I am still a school student, I had a lot of homework but she would force me to skype her everyday from that point on. When I apologised to her and claimed that I had homework to do and therefore had to leave, she put me on a massive guilt trip. This happened countless times. She would say things like 'Oh are you leaving me again? Im going to be all alone.' Things like that. And that was only one of the 'flaws'. She would also hint that something in her life was wrong but when I asked her if she was alright and that I was there for her, she would just reply with 'No it's fine. I'm just sad that's all. Don't worry about me.' Things like that. I'm not trying to be narcissistic or anything but usually, I do care about others and I try my best to help others in any way possible. But after she keept hinting that there was something wrong and would refuse to tell me, I kind of got fed up. So now when she mentions something is wrong, J put close to no effort to find out what is wrong. Lately, everytime she asks to skype, I always tell her an excuse. Whether it be I'm busy or I have to go soon. Sometimes i just ignore her facebook mesages altogether when she tells me to skype. I feel like a horrible person but I cant handle it anymore. I tried helping and being a good person but I dont know what to do anymore. Im sorry you had to read all that. Please advise me on what I should do! (link)
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You don't owe her anything, this exactly what she wants, to guilt trip you into feeling responsible for her. The best advice I can give you is to just cut her off all together, I know it sounds harsh but it's the best thing to do right now. It's not healthy for either of you, if she really wanted your help she would have asked for it.
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my guy friend whom im close to, we can talk about anything and everything together......I had a crush on him but we both agree it'd be best If we just stayed friends.... not too long ago out of the sky blue he had told me "I deserve better"..that threw me off, cuz i was eating food and wasn't really thinking about what he had said....I don't know why anyone would think they don't deserve that special someone......well, the other day he seemed so down, out and broken....and there were lots of people in the hallway, so I didn't ask him what was wrong, but I did notice he was just staring at me, and he wasn't happy...... so I just said hi, and he just kept staring at me with this hurt look and said nothing and just walked away...should I ask him what's up or just not say anything at all.....thanks (link)
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He obviously has some issues to work through , it might have something to do with you or it might not. The best thing to do right now is give him space, let him figure out what he wants first. He is obviously confused, am not saying to stop being his friend or being there for him just pull back a little. Let him come to you.
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