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should i ask him whats up or say nothing
my guy friend whom im close to, we can talk about anything and everything together......I had a crush on him but we both agree it'd be best If we just stayed friends.... not too long ago out of the sky blue he had told me "I deserve better"..that threw me off, cuz i was eating food and wasn't really thinking about what he had said....I don't know why anyone would think they don't deserve that special someone......well, the other day he seemed so down, out and broken....and there were lots of people in the hallway, so I didn't ask him what was wrong, but I did notice he was just staring at me, and he wasn't happy...... so I just said hi, and he just kept staring at me with this hurt look and said nothing and just walked away...should I ask him what's up or just not say anything at all.....thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If he made that comment out of the blue and you had no clue what he meant by his comment, the best thing would be to say something like, "Okay, maybe I missed something here but I can't think of how what you said pertains to this moment. I am here eating and you say I deserve better. Without your explaining what you mean, am I to think that you feel I should be making bettter choices in my meals?" But thats me, wry humor at the end.
My best guess is that he likes you as more than a friend and is feeling friend zoned without ever having had the chance to date you to see if it would work. His comment could be a dedeatist attitude showing through, thinking that whomeever you end up dating, you could do better than him. Maybe he has a low self image, I don't know but if he's a freind and you're able to talk about anything, this should also be one of those things you talk about. Giving him space might help if it were all about something else and having nothing to do with you but otherwise, the problem isnt going to be solved unless you both talk. So talk enough to find out if it involves you or not. He may just say its not about you to avoid discussing it so you'll have to sense this out, use your intuition and ask questions if you feel they need to be asked.
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He obviously has some issues to work through , it might have something to do with you or it might not. The best thing to do right now is give him space, let him figure out what he wants first. He is obviously confused, am not saying to stop being his friend or being there for him just pull back a little. Let him come to you.
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You did not mention your age. I am assuming teenage. You both seem to be really good friends ))
Not sure what was your discussion with him when you both agreed upon staying best friends and nothing more.
Going by what you described and not knowing your age, appears like your friend is uncomfortable sharing something with you, which apparently is making him feel uneasy and hurt (again perhaps cos he wants to tell you but holding back). He is for sure a very good friend and likes and respects you.
Assuming you both see each other everyday, just pretend that you guys did not have that conversation when you were having your food. Just be normal as you were before the conversation. Regardless what is the reaso he said what he said, he is still your friend )) You will have to help him out to ease his discomfort or whatever it is that he doesn't want to tell you (assuming thats the case). When he sees that what is said is not bothering you and that you still love him unconditionally as a true friend, sooner or later he will open up to you and disclose.
Be genuine and tell him how you value his friendship and that you like him for what he is. Tell him how he is real and honest compared to other guys you see around. This will give him the courage to share further with you. While you are doing this, don't let him feel that you are pretending (which you are not). You should be doing all this out of your liking for him as a friend.
Wait until 2-3 weeks and if he still does not tell you why he said that, then find a time when you both are really engaged in some interesting conversation while you noth are happy and laughing, and suddenly ask him, why was he upset and looked down and out the other day. He may tell you in the flow of your conversation.
Worst case even if he does not want to tell you still, it should not matter to you, right)) whatever is the reason, give him his space and let him be what he is. when he tells you, it may not be something as serious as he thought, but we are humans and we all are different and that is the beauty! You guys are good friends and you should cherish that!!
I am sure he will tell you eventually.
Good luck ))
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