I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
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I am a 20 year old female I have a 1 year old daughter with my boyfriend who is 22. We have been together 4 years. He now lives in another city where he is working 2 hours away. He has came to town twice & drinks partys with friends & misses his chance to see us. Then he goes back to work & starts telling me if I'm going to go out and/or cheat on him. He feels guilty & says he does love & miss us. I do not go out. When I am not working or at a class I am with my adorable smart baby girl. We are not on the same page at all. . Oh and ps. We want to move in together when my job ends in April (link)
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Ok, let's break down what you've said:
1. He lives 2 hours away but rarely visits
2.When he does come he chooses partying and drinking over seeing his own daughter
3. Accuses you of doing awful things that just aren't true
4. Apologizes over and over but never does anything to change.
And you want to move in with him? what would you tell your best friend if she gave you the list you just wrote here?
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Need advice
I just turned 22 years old very devoted Muslim girl. I am married with a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often. I am pregnant now :) I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age. This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice/
My parents sent me to this Quran boarding school for girls for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little (I was the only one accepted out of my family. my brothers and sisters leaned from the Mosque). I learned a lot. You see I lost my father when I was young (12 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew. I have 2 brothersand 1 sister all younger than me.
But Abu, the school mater, that trained me—he and I were very close, even sexually in that school. It sounds strange but we kept it secret. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well –whatever. His wife was the one who gave me birth control pills to save my family and myself the shame. She said she did it for other girls to. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. We kept our sexual relationship till until my family moved to the UK. But this is a shameful thing in my past I don’t talk to people about it but now I have to because it is killing me inside. If my parents found out I would be dead DEAD. I learned ALOT about my body and sex and i am grateful to have learned these things from Abu. it was an amazing sexual experiuence over all. When I got married I lied to my husband like many of the girls I know to say I was a virgin. Otherwise I would never get married. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. When we see them as a family we just pretend this stuff never happened. I never bring it up and he or his wife never do. . I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with three children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”.
Her daughter, Cameron, my niece she is now in Jordan with my family and they are sending her to the same school to learn the Quran. Abu is still teaching there. My sister said it is best to not talk about it and let her experiernece life and sex and everything else like we did. My friends tell me to expose this man. It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other girls because of the shame factor. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. I respect him. Am I weird and crazy?? But I don’t know what to do because now Cameron is there and my family did not think twice about sending her to that school because it has such a good reputation. My American friends tell me to make my sister take Cameron out of that school as soon as yestersay. I feel so mistrable because of what they tell me I am wicked. But my experience was good over all at that school. But they make me feel horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am depressed about this. I really want Cameron to learn from this very good school and Abu, but I don’t know what to do!! Please help me from going crazy…I don’t know what to do..i need help to think about this.
PLEASE respond to jjordan2011@mail.com
(link)
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If you are not getting the answer you want to this question maybe you need to consider that the answer you want is not the right answer. If everyone keeps saying the same thing, you need to consider that your thinking on this issue is wrong. You need help - you need a third party who can help you work through this. Find a counselor. You'll never regret it, I promise.
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Does watching porn at a young age desensitize me? Does it make me anti-social? Is it why I have trouble talking to girls? I went a week without it. I started to feel better. Then BAM, I relapse one night. I'm back to feeling horrible again. (link)
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You need help. Porn addiction is a real addiction, like anything else.And yes, it does desensitize you and cripples you. Here are a couple of websites to get you started looking for help. You feel horrible because your heart know it is wrong and it is hurting you. Seek help. It is possible to be free of this. You have to be brave enough to do the work. I think you are. Good luck.
http://newlifehabits.com/
http://www.no-porn.com/breaking.html
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How do I have sex with a girl without my parents finding out ? (link)
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You wait until you're old enough to live in your own place apart from your parents...then you never have to worry about it.
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I just turned 22 years old very devoted Muslim. I am married with a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often. I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age. This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice/
My parents sent me to this Quran boarding school for girls for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little (I was the only one accepted out of my family. my brothers and sisters leaned from the Mosque). I learned a lot. You see I lost my father when I was young (12 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister all younger than me.
But Abu, the school mater, that trained me—he and I were very close, even sexually in that school. It sounds strange but we kept it secret. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well –whatever. His wife was the one who gave me birth control pills to save my family and myself the shame. She said she did it for other girls to. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. We kept our sexual relationship till until my family moved to the UK. But this is a shameful thing in my past I don’t talk to people about it but now I have to because it is killing me inside. If my parents found out I would be dead DEAD. I learned ALOT about my body and sex and i am grateful to have learned these things from Abu. it was an amazing sexual experiuence over all. When I got married I lied to my husband like many of the girls I know to say I was a virgin. Otherwise I would never get married. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. When we see them as a family we just pretend this stuff never happened. I never bring it up and he or his wife never do. . I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with three children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”.
Her daughter, Cameron, my niece she is now in Jordan with my family and they are sending her to the same school to learn the Quran. Abu is still teaching there. My sister said it is best to not talk about it and let her experiernece life and sex and everything else like we did. My friends tell me to expose this man. It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other girls because of the shame factor. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. I respect him. Am I weird and crazy?? But I don’t know what to do because now Cameron is there and my family did not think twice about sending her to that school because it has such a good reputation. My American friends tell me to make my sister take Cameron out of that school as soon as yestersay. I feel so mistrable because of what they tell me I am wicked. But my experience was good over all at that school. But they make me feel horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am depressed about this. I really want Cameron to learn from this very good school and Abu, but I don’t know what to do!! Please help me from going crazy…I don’t know what to do..i need help to think about this.
PLEASE respond to jjordan2011@mail.com
(link)
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YOu are experiencing what we call here Stockholm Syndrome. You identify with your abuser. Heres a website to read up on it. You may recognize some things about yourself in there.
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=167
But make no mistake, this man crossed a line, and broke the rule of any civilized society. A man does not have sex with a child. If it was not wrong, why do he and his wife go to such great lenghths to keep it a secret? The fact that she is aware he molests young girls is very disturbing as well. You think you were a willing partner for him, but in reality you weren't. You were young and impressionable. He took advantage. His treatment of your family sounds more like a bribe than true caring. He'll care for you and your family as long as you keep quiet. What do you think would have happened to him and his wife if you had become frightened and told someone? They wanted you to be quiet. It was part of the plan. Your niece is in danger there. She may not be so "pleased" to be this man's sexual partner as you were. But given the cultural issues you've described, she'll have no one to turn to for help. You are her only help. You are not wicked, but you are feeling bad because of what HE did, not because your friends don't understand. They do understand. you don't seem to understand. I strongly recommend you seek some private counseling so you can talk to someone openly and privately about this. It may help you think more clearly about the situation. You do need help. And so does your niece.
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I have been married for 6 years to whom I consider the best woman out there. I need to say that for the record. She is quick witted, smart, and has many abilities that could easily drop her into multiple career paths. Admittedly, she does feel indecisive. She hasn't followed up on any true career path and her indecisiveness has gotten the best of her in other ways. Our relationship throughout those 6 years have not been happy for both of us. While dating, I did catch her cheating and I realized that she had thought I was going to leave her so she was in essence seeing another guy. Things got better. But, I realized I have difficulty expressing myself with her. We have 4 kids now. The forth child was a difficult one in that I had no permanent job, no insurance and we had been using birth control. Our last child before her was a premature birth and had to undergo months of treatments to make him strong. I didn't want to go through that again. During the time of conception, I had my suspicions that she may have a posting for a companion on craiglist. After I found out she was pregnant, I thought about finances, my suspicions, and whether we could handle four children. I asked her to give the child up for adoption. I let my suspicions get the best of me and brought out the word divorce. We made up and we decided mutually to keep the fourth child. But the whole ordeal challenged our marriage and made her second guess our relationship. I made a vow to myself that I would be a more outgoing husband and I would express my emotions whole heartedly with her. I realized I have not been there for her in her times of need. Fast forward to now a year and a half later, she is on Facebook. Over the last few months She approached me to say that she doesn't think that she loves me as much as I love her. I thought of it as an innocent comment at first but, she began crying after a few confrontations. I became suspicious again.
I found she had been staying up late chatting with an old high school boyfriend in another state. I confronted her and she played it off as just chatting. I then found out it was more than that. They had secret email accounts and pre-paid phone cards and were planning on running away together. I confronted her again and she confessed that she did have feelings for him but didn't admit to planning on running off with him. She also admitted that she did have an ad on Craiglist for a lesbian partner as far back as 6 months ago. We decided to go to counseling and during our first session she said that she kind of sees me as the big brother she never had. She now says she wants to keep the family together but for the sake of the kids. This other guy has friended me on facebook and has made many compliments about looks and being a great guy as he has heard from my wife. At times, I still find her on facebook chatting with this guy. She says there is 17 years of feelings for eachother that she cannot just let go. Though I can see that through the emails I found that they both seem to be feeding off of their high school memories and he seems to be using that to play her. This guy has supposedly been cheated on by his girlfriend of six years. My wife has become a facebook friend with his girlfriend! I know Jerry Springer comes to mind huh?
I realized that my lack of being there for her, not conveying my emotions and yes my slacking with the house chores has made us drift apart to this stage. I really do want to rekindle our relationship and not have it be a marriage of convenience. I have been ramping up on the house work. I sent her flowers at work. I have been sharing my random thoughts for her throughout the day. My goal is a happy mariiage where there isn't any drama like this and to have her fall in love with me again. Throughout the whole ordeal, her mom has stopped answering my calls. She knows what happened but, doesn't want to be brought into things. She says she wants nothing to do with it. I really am looking for a woman's opinion on the situation. (link)
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You guys need to get to a counselor and fast! Before you say its too expensive, consider how expensive a divorce will be - super expensive, trust me. more than you could ever imagine. If you absolutely can't afford it, find a church or other religious institution nearby that offers counseling. Most modern churches have a marriage therapy program that is free. If you can't get your wife to agree to go, go alone. You need help sorting through everything. This is a very complicated situation. It goes deeper than your wife having feelings for another person. You have both been through a terrible ordeal and you need help sorting through the hurt and consequences. This won't fix itself. Go find help. I can't tell you how much of a difference just having a neutral third party to talk to can make. You have 4 kids; this is not something you should let go of easily, and it will take more than just being nicer to her to get out of this. She has issues she needs to sort out, and so do you.
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Hi there,
The server is getting a notice like this every time the site tries to e-mail you:
Any ideas?
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for dearcandore@gmail.com; Mon, 02 Jan 2012 19:40:36 -0500
To: dearcandore@gmail.com
Subject: dearcandore: Your answer to question number 601284 has been rated!
From: Advicenators
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Date: Mon, 02 Jan 2012 19:40:36 -0500
Dear dearcandore,
Your answer to question number 601284 was rated and the person who asked the question left you a feedback comment!
To view your feedback page click here: http://www.advicenators.com/tools.php?feedback=1
You can also go directly to the question by clicking here: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=601284
(link)
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Weird! I don't know. Everything seems to be fine. I'd better check with the google folks. I'll look into it.
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Okay I'll try to make this short.
My friend and I have been friends for about 2 years now. In late September of 2011 her husband, her and I engaged in a threesome, then another one a week later. I visit their house about 2-3 times a week. Ever since the threesome her husband has been really flirty with me (but never in front of her.)
He makes out with me in their house when my friend is in the other room, when she goes to the bathroom he takes his penis out and puts my hand on it. I've given him oral sex about 7 times since September, but never anything more.
Another thing he does is we chat on facebook and have pretty inappropriate conversations about sex and 'things we would like to do to each other.'
I want this to stop, after all, he is my Best Friends husband. I get that this isn't his fault, I am also involved. I'm just nervous to tell him that I want to stop, and I don't know how, so I guess that's what I'm looking for advice on. Also, I don't know whether or not I should tell her.
Has anybody ever been in a similar situation where they engaged in sexual activity with their friends partner? I get that what I have done is a VERY bad thing, now I'm just looking for advice on how to rectify the situation.
So... Do I tell her? and How do I tell him that I want to stop without messing up the friendship that he and I have?
Thank you.
(link)
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You messed up the friendship the day you agreed to a threesome. Now pandora's box has been opened. The only way to end this mess is to back off for a little while. Take yourself out of the picture. Stop Facebooking with the husband and stop going to their house. If your friends asks why you've suddenly pulled away be honest and tell her you feel uncomfortable about things between the three of you since your threesome. I feel pretty sure she has an idea something more is going on with you and her husband. She may not care. If she does care, she'll let you go for a while in order to give everyone space and time to let this ill-advised threesome to fade into just a memory.
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I am on birth control but about 3 or 4 weeks ago the guy I was seeing came inside me. I figured it was fine since I was on the pill and my friends did it like that and never had a problem.
Well my period was three days late and so I took a pregnancy test which originally looked negative, but after it sat for a little while a faint positive sign started to show. But I got my period later that day, although it's light like it usually has been since I got on the pill. But my period has never been late since starting the pill.
Am I pregnant? I'm so confused! Please help! (link)
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You have to be on the pill for at least a month before you can have "unprotected" sex. And a faint positive on a pregnancy test is still a positive. From what I understand, you can get a false negative but never a false positive. Head to the doctor.
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I am a mature, single lady who is attracted to the man who owns the building where I have lived for almost two years. There is a bldg. manager so I never have to deal with him. We have said hello from time to time and I always felt the feeling was mutual. He is very successful and has four grown sons. He has always seemed to fight off any urge to get to know me. I have never seen him with any wife. Something is stopping him from seeing me. Perhaps his sons, or the fact that he is very wealthy might enter into it. I am very lonely and like him a lot. How can I get him to ask me for a luncheon date? (link)
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Next time you see him strike up a conversation. Don't linger too long. Just a few minutes. End the conversation before he does (always leave them wanting more!). Try something like "It was really great talking to you. I wish I had time to talk longer but I have to run. You should stop by for coffee later this week or next time you're in the building. It would be fun!" Casual, cheery and to the point. Remember, don't linger. You don't want him to sense that you are lonely. While its just the truth about your life right now, men can be turned off by women who seem too lonely...they may fear getting involved with someone who seems needy or desperate. Let him come to you. If he doesn't respond, then perhaps he just isn't interested, through no fault of your own. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there, sometimes it is. I hope that it is for your sake, but if its not, consider joining some clubs/groups in your area that appeal to your interests. Its a great way to meet people who share your interests and get out more often. Good luck!
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im addicted to pot.
im not ur average pothead. im a girl and look normal. i have friends and im extremly normal i just LOVE weed. all my frineds know it. i dont buy pounds like extreme addictes do but i try to have a gram on my at all times and i just alwyas smoke whenevr I can. I smoke so many times a day , everyday. i dont know what it means how why i do it and i want to stop but i enjoy it. the downfall is that i gained a lot of weight.
it got so bad that i brought weed with me when i was babysitting 2 kids and i smoked inside the familys house.
no one knows when i do things that shady but i dont know what to do because i love weed, its not killing me and i love the feelong but i waste money on it, gaiend weight and cant be without it.
what it mean?
what i do?
thanks people! (link)
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The amount of pot you're smoking tells me you use it to escape from something - feelings or home situations, whatever. I guess the first step to changing is asking yourself just what it is you are trying to escape. Go online and see if you can find online organizations or support groups to help you. They may be able to give you advice on how to take the steps to kick this. You can also make an appointment with your doctor and explain to him/her what you're dealing with. They have to keep everything you say private, so you don't need to worry about anyone else finding out. They can help you and even refer you to a counselor. You do have a problem. That means you have to do hard things to solve the problem. One hard thing is not buying anymore weed. Yes, you're brain will SCREAM at you to buy more, but while you're looking for help try to fill your time with other things. Music, friends, exercise..whatever you like. The busier you are, the less time you'll have to think about weed. But you do need help, so do your best to reach out around you. Its good that you know you have a problem. The mature thing to do now is to figure out how to solve it.
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20/f
I was dating my now ex for almost a year but he ended up breaking up with me and breaking my heart. He was
the very first person i have ever really loved. He broke up with me and I ended up moving away cause things
just didnt work out to well for me. We talked and deciced that no matter what happened we would still be
best friends and always be there for each other. So my problem is we have been apart for a few months now but
i still really love him and would do anything to get him back and for a while he still really cared about me
but it seems like he is starting to care less and less about me and the last couple of weeks (i hate to say it)
he has been being a really big dick and huge jerk to me. he has made me cry every night for the last 2 3 weeks
and cause of it i have been getting very depressed so i dont know what to do any more. Should i stop talking
to him and try to move on with my life with out him, should i just give it some time and see how things go?
what should i do? i really love him and dont want to lose him and he is still my best friend and the only
person i can really talk to and trust but im afraid that im going to lose him. please help me. (link)
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Cut your ties and move on. You haven't been able to heal because you've had no distance from this situation. He's moving on and it is clear to him that you are not. That is causing strain in how he deals with you. Do yourself a favor and stop relating to him at all. This will be hard, but trust me..as time goes by it will get easier. You'll be able to heal and maybe you will be able to be friends one day in the future but not now. Pull away right now before things get any uglier. Let your heart heal. You deserve that.
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Im a pastor and I have been married 19years but I started an emotional relationship as well as a sexual relationship with a young lady that I have been knowing quite somtime shes younger shes a member of my church and she has bee so supportive of my ministry and I feel as if I need 2 make a decision because I would 2 be with this younglady I ask my wife was she happy and she didnt answer me me and my wife dont even have sex Im still in the marriage for my kids but the affair has been going on for a year next month I just really see this younglady not being apart of my life I depend on her so much.help me! Im a 42 yr.old male (link)
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Proverbs says "Do not forsake the wife of your youth". That's Biblical. You are violating God's word and commandments (do not commit adultery). You need to end the affair, seek counseling with your wife and step down from your leadership position while you get right again. You and your wife can have a healthy, happy marriage again, but not without help and repentence. Forget the fantasy of this other woman being "the one" for you. She's supportive of your ministry but if you reveal to your congregation that you have been having sex with another woman and are divorcing your wife you won't HAVE a ministry. You need help. You are unable to think clearly about this situation. Imagine how this will devastate your children when they find out. You need to start thinking more about other people, and God, and less about your own feelings and wants.
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I am 46 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years. We recently got into an arguement and for the first time ever, he said he would hit me and throw me in my car. But he didn't. Is this a sign? I love him very much and he says he loves me. We are both divorced. He does not want to get married. I would like to someday and he said that he might too. He said that I am very special and he has never felt the way he feels about me before. He went through a nasty divorce and has dated many women. I was married for over 20 years, raised 4 sons and own my own home. He has only worked 5 weeks since I met him, he makes me drive alot even though he owns 3 cars, 2 motorcycles, jet skis and a drag bike. I struggle and I feed him, cook for him, do everything for him(grocery shopping). I have never asked him for a dime. what should I do? thank you so much for just listening, I have 2 sons in the Marines and they are both being deployed soon... (link)
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Ok let's break this down:
1)he has threatened you with violence
2)He dates a lot of women
3)doesn't work
4)makes you take him everywhere
5)treats you like a maid (cooking,cleaning,shopping)
6)doesn't give you any help or any way.
If your best friend was in a relationship with a guy like this what would you tell her?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah another relationship problem but please read on... I really need some advice. Recently I've gotten back with my first boyfriend from when I was fifteen, I am now twenty-one. When I was fifteen it just didn't work because we were young, and so and so wanted to date someone else, the typical fifteen year old reasons. He was however my first childhood sweetheart and we shared our first kiss, first date, and a great six months together. Then we went our separate ways and didn't talk for about six years. Recently, a friend of mine set me up with him, why I agreed to it I don't know.... I guess because you always think of what could have been. I had just got out of a three-and a half year relationship six months prior to then, and kept being pressured from my friends it was time to move on, so I decided to give my first childhood sweetheart a chance. Now it has been six months, and I see things going downhill like they were then. We fight it seems just about everyday. We both work hard, and are college students. We never get time to see each other. On top of that, he works over nights, while I work days. Although I try to be considerate of this because I've worked overnights, he is always tired and never tries to make time for me like he did the first few months we started dating again. He says, "it's catching up to him..." Although I know he just sleeping, I think he should make time for me. Even if it is just a couple hours every few days. We live in the same town, only about 10 miles from each other. He insists that I should drive to see him if I miss him so much, but I've done that the past 3 times and now I think it's his turn to see me.... Ugh, I'll stop now. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not what I thought it would be. I'm not sure how to go about solving this problem. I've talked it over with him numerous times and it doesn't seem to sink into his head. I've already thought about ending it, but just can't bring myself to it. What I'm asking is, should I try to talk to him some more and if so, how should I broach the subject? If I should end it, what are steps to take to actually go through with it? Any input on this subject matter would be greatly appreciated... Thanks. (link)
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Its always hard to realize that you're moving in a different the direction from someone you care about deeply. This is not odd at your age. You both have so much going on in your lives - school, work, other relationships. Its a lot to handle. Its completely understandable that you both are experiencing a lot of stress right now and aren't getting along. A relationship should be something that strengthens you and empowers you. It should be something that gives you rest, but you two are only stressing each other out. It sounds to me like its time for you guys to take a break.You tried..it just didn't work out. That doesn't mean that you will never find your way to each other again in the future, but for now this is much too stressful for you to be so young. It takes a mature person to realize that they are in a situation that isn't working for them. I think what's best for both of you is to move on for now. There are just too many obstacles right now for you guys to have a healthy relationship. And that's not bad..its just life. As to going through with it?..well, its never easy to end a relationship. I'm afraid there's no easy way out of this. But prolonging it will only make it harder, so the sooner you have an honest talk with your bf the better. Feelings will be hurt, that's only natural, but eventually you both will begin to feel better knowing that this was just not the time for the two of you.
Good luck.
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Hello!
Currently Im a student at the University of South Florida. I've got good grades,I work hard to be involved in many clubs and organizations and work at a radio station. I'm only a freshman, but i felt the need to try and get started on an internship. I applied, and found out that there were over 100 people being interviewed.I tried my best during the interview , just to see if I would get hired. She hired me, along with maybe 15 others.I found out that the internship is mostly online and you basically fill out paperwork and post things to her website (online magazine). Recently, I have been on vacation and haven't been able to glue my face to a computer.On top of that, my best friend is in the hospital due to someone attempting murder on her.I obviously did not get started on my internship. I texted her and told her what is happening with my friend and she basically told me I could have more time. I looked at the amount of emails I received and am overwhelmed by the information and do not want to take on this internship because I am so behind. I've only met the boss through the phone (since its a virtual internship) but I don't want her to regret hiring me or ever think of me as a person to just "walk out" of on opportunity. How do I tell her this? (link)
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You can explain to her that the internship was a bigger commitment than you originally anticipated and you are not able to keep up with the work at this point in your life. There's nothing you can do about what she thinks of you. The truth is, you ARE quitting. Whether she buys your reasons or not is up to her. That's just life. You have to do wat's best for you but it sounds to me like you are not prepared for work in the real world yet. When you are on your own you will not have the option of bowing out of work when your life gets hectic...internships are there to help you experience that. But if you can't do it, you can't do it. Suck it up and tell her the truth and next time do more research into the job requirements before you take on an internship.
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My boyfriend and I were in a 6 year relationship before he passed away. A couple weeks after his passing I found out he was cheating on me with another women. I don't know much of what went on between them because he's not here to ask him. I don't know how long they had the relationship but it seemed from the messages I read it was pretty serious. I'm confused and I feel stupid because I thought we were perfect and nothing was wrong. What am I supposed to do? I'm grieving and the same time I hate him. I look at all the pictures of us and all I think of is him being a liar; I'm disgusted and disappointed in him. What do I do? How should I go about this? How should I feel? Female, 24 (link)
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This is a tough one. Not only are you grieving for a loss of a person but also for the loss of a relationship at the same time. I think you need to be able to move on, but you need a few answers to do that properly. Can you contact the other woman to ask her some questions? Or what about a friend of his that may have more information about the affair? The point is not to go picking fights but to find a way to get some closure. Think about this for a second. If you could contact the other woman what would you ask her? What could she say that would make you feel better? Can she make you feel better at all? Will you be better off after talking to her, or worse? Answer those questions to yourself before you take any action. If you conclude you would be better off contacting her, send a message and explain who you are and what you want. Don't get angry or defensive..you are trying to heal and your boyfriend was the cause of this pain, not the other woman. Sadly, he's not here to take your anger out on, but that doesn't mean you'll never have peace. You may not get all the answers you want but there may be something that can bring you some peace, so go to her with that attitude. I hope you find something that can help move you forward in all of this. If its an option at all, see about seeing a therapist for a little bit to help you sort through all these conflicting feelings. It will help. Good luck.
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Hi I am a 33 year old man, and I'm currently long distance dating a 21 year old.
We have been dating for over a year. And we text all day an mainly text during the night...
I love her she been there for me threw thick and thin... We have so much in common, we can talk for hours an never get bored...
An a while ago I found out she been talking to her ex via- email, im chat and phone convos... An she was still telling him she loves him, she wants too be with him... etc etc...
So when I confronting her, she told me the truth that she had been talking too him, and having sex with her other ex...
I forgave her...
And 5 months roll by...
And her other ex from Texas came by...
She lied and told me she was seeing the Twlight movie, and she met up with him, and went mia all night...
I found out confronted her...
And she told me she did, and she just kiss him and that was it, but she was gone all night...
I forgave her because I didn't have proof that she went beyond kissing... An 2day she sent a strange text too me like it was meant really for someone else, saying that she could be at some place in twenty minutes, an i asked her who was that text to, an she said her little cousin...
i need help... please give me the best advice about this siuation, im confused. and I don't know if i can continue to trust her...
Ps: I cheated on her, but way in the beginning an i've changed drastic for her...
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You already know he answer to your question.YOu only asked it here hoping someone would confirm what you already know in your heart. Well let me add to the chorus. She's cheating. Leave. You may be missing someone really great by spending all of your energy on this cheating chick.
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so my fiance paul is in a band and he said i cant go to any of his shows cuz of this girl emily. apparently paul reminds emily of her ex and seeing him happy with another girl will male emily sad. but paul said emily is gay ans she is married to a women but i found her bra on his floor. what do i do? i love paul so much and i dont want to lose him but i dont know if he is cheating (link)
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Paul is cheating on you. You already know that. You can stay and be used or go and spend some time figuring out why you are attracted to guys that put your feelings last.
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hi, 20/m.
Me and my best friend have been having problems recently. We have been friends for 5-6 years now, and we talk to each other all day every day (BBM). We usually have arguments now and again, but recently its been quite bad.
She kept calling me 'stuck-up' and 'pretentious' because I dont like doing the same things we used to (drinking in a park, going to a trashy casino etc). Recently, she's been hanging out with another of our mutual friends a lot. When they stopped talking, she started talking to me much more often. And when they start talking again, we don't talk much. I feel a bit like a 'back-up plan' to be honest.
The other day she said she was going to ask me to go and watch a movie with her, but that I 'wouldn't have come' because I 'only come out when [I] want to, and that [I] would have found it too trashy' when we used to go to the cinema all the time. I replied to that by saying 'f*** off if you're going to keep using that over and over again' and she said 'yeah, p*ss off'. We haven't spoken since (3 days ago), and that's completely not natural as we speak every day.
To be honest, I feel a bit jealous that she spends less time with me, and more with our other mutual friend. She will also be very secretive about it. When I ask her what she has been up to all day, she will reply 'just went out'. I then say 'with whom?' and she wont reply, then eventually change the subject by saying something like 'just a friend. I'm so tired, I want to go to sleep' etc.
She also moved city for college and didn't tell me?! At all?! She only told me after she dropped out after a few days!
In all, I feel as if she is very secretive about little stuff which I wouldn't care about. I also constantly feel we are at war with each other. I've spoken to her about all of this before, but she either brushes it off or apologises only for it to start all over again the next week.
She also posts a lot of stuff on her blog, which I feel is sometimes targeted to me. e.g. "you pretentious ass, do you really think that you're above everyone else?" etc etc. Upon my approaching her about it, she just shrugs it off, saying it's about someone else?
Is it now time to just let this friendship die out? I've spoken to her about it, and have tried to ignore and shrug off what she says/does, but it's upsetting. Has it come to a natural end?
I could go on, but I don't want you to be put off by the length of my question, so please answer if you can. All advice will be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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Its a sad fact of life that sometimes friends grow and move on and grow apart. It sounds like you and your friend are going in different directions right now. You are growing and maturing and she is not. As a result, she sees all of her shortcomings and immaturity when she looks at your life and the decisions you make. It makes her feel bad because she knows she is on the right path. this has happened to me before. I think she is doing things with her time and her life that she knows are wrong and seeing you (even when you don't say anything about it) convicts her. She doesn't want to be reminded that whatever she is doing is bad for her. Maybe you just need to let her do her own thing right now. Try not to be angry, but just know that it is natural for people, even the best of friends, to grow apart sometimes. Some friendships are meant to serve a certain purpose for a certain time. Whatever her problem is, its not really with you. ITs with herself. She knows she is wrong and seeing you reminds her of it. Wish her well, talk to her when hear from her and try to make time to hang out when it feels right to you, but don't stress. You're growing and changing and as you mature you'll find more great friends who are on the same page as you.
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