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my boyfriend said he would hit me
I am 46 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years. We recently got into an arguement and for the first time ever, he said he would hit me and throw me in my car. But he didn't. Is this a sign? I love him very much and he says he loves me. We are both divorced. He does not want to get married. I would like to someday and he said that he might too. He said that I am very special and he has never felt the way he feels about me before. He went through a nasty divorce and has dated many women. I was married for over 20 years, raised 4 sons and own my own home. He has only worked 5 weeks since I met him, he makes me drive alot even though he owns 3 cars, 2 motorcycles, jet skis and a drag bike. I struggle and I feed him, cook for him, do everything for him(grocery shopping). I have never asked him for a dime. what should I do? thank you so much for just listening, I have 2 sons in the Marines and they are both being deployed soon...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Ma'ma I'm Yong enough to be your doughter I know what you mean you need to show him who wears the pants in the relashon ship tell him he better treat you with some respect and tell him to do it NOW or your gone
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Lady, tell me him to go. because you dont deserve to go though this and to be thread like a door mat.
Make sure he never hits you and i mean never, a woman should never go though anything like this. and if he owns cars etc.. get him to drive him self around, cause you meant to be his girlfriend not a driver or anything else.
You need to tell him how you feel, tell him to start treating you like his lady cause after raised 4 sons and am sure you did a great job, dont be a afraid and do whats right in your heart.
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Ok let's break this down:
1)he has threatened you with violence
2)He dates a lot of women
3)doesn't work
4)makes you take him everywhere
5)treats you like a maid (cooking,cleaning,shopping)
6)doesn't give you any help or any way.
If your best friend was in a relationship with a guy like this what would you tell her?
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I have to agree with Zane. No one has the right to threaten anyone with physical harm. In legal terms you have been a subject of assault. Which makes makes him subject to a possible a felony charge.
Frankly I think he is using you and his threat to hit you is a warning sign you need to take heed of. You are doing everything for him and he is doing nothing for you. Seems to me to be a very one sided relationship.
Your a grown women and far be it from me to tell you what to do. If you were my sister, I would be pushing you to think about yourself and find someone who loves you for yourself and not what you can provide for him. Someone who would never threaten you or harm you. You have to decide what is in your best interest though this is what my advise would be.
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In regards to the hitting threat, you have to understand it was said in anger. If you two were having an argument you may or may not have done something to provoke him to react with that response. You gave no context as to what the argument was about or what was said.
Threatening to hit and actually hitting are two very different things. In society its generally accepted that women are basically untouchable and should never be hit by a man for any reason, but you have to understand that if you are putting yourself in a position where you are making him so mad that he might hurt you, you do have to take some responsibility for that.
When an argument starts escalating, its often best to step away from it and calm down, or else it can result in explosive consequences on both sides. I'm not saying that he is justified in hitting you if he did end up doing so, but I am saying that maybe you can avoid being in that situation in the first place, and take responsibility for your part in the argument.
If you think he's really the type of man who may prove dangerous to you or physically aggressive, maybe you should question your relationship with him and your future. But if you think it was just something he said and didn't really mean (which is very possible since he didn't follow through) maybe you shouldn't take it over the top and be filled with fear.
If it does escalate in the future don't even think about participating in an abusive relationship, no matter how long you have been together or how much you think you love each other. It will only end up hurting you and your sons in the long run.
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You have been warned, There is a reason this man is no longer married and you may of just hit the beginning of the reason why.
NO man should EVER threaten you and there is absolutely no excuse for it. From what you've described you are being used to his own benefit and he cares nothing but of using you to make his life better in his lazy ways. Is this a sign? Of course it is. Two years in a relationship and he hasn't put in any effort to help you out? Relationships/Marriage are 50/50 that old saying..."You scratch my back and I scratch yours" You are not his slave, You are not his doormat and I would suggest toning down on the talk of marriage until you both sort out the issues in your relationship. Threatening someone is usually a sign that the person has an anger problem and maybe even a history of violence that you are not yet aware of. If I were you I think I would move on, Two years is long enough and you've already got your fair share of warnings...
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