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Everything going great... up until now :(
Yeah, yeah, yeah another relationship problem but please read on... I really need some advice. Recently I've gotten back with my first boyfriend from when I was fifteen, I am now twenty-one. When I was fifteen it just didn't work because we were young, and so and so wanted to date someone else, the typical fifteen year old reasons. He was however my first childhood sweetheart and we shared our first kiss, first date, and a great six months together. Then we went our separate ways and didn't talk for about six years. Recently, a friend of mine set me up with him, why I agreed to it I don't know.... I guess because you always think of what could have been. I had just got out of a three-and a half year relationship six months prior to then, and kept being pressured from my friends it was time to move on, so I decided to give my first childhood sweetheart a chance. Now it has been six months, and I see things going downhill like they were then. We fight it seems just about everyday. We both work hard, and are college students. We never get time to see each other. On top of that, he works over nights, while I work days. Although I try to be considerate of this because I've worked overnights, he is always tired and never tries to make time for me like he did the first few months we started dating again. He says, "it's catching up to him..." Although I know he just sleeping, I think he should make time for me. Even if it is just a couple hours every few days. We live in the same town, only about 10 miles from each other. He insists that I should drive to see him if I miss him so much, but I've done that the past 3 times and now I think it's his turn to see me.... Ugh, I'll stop now. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not what I thought it would be. I'm not sure how to go about solving this problem. I've talked it over with him numerous times and it doesn't seem to sink into his head. I've already thought about ending it, but just can't bring myself to it. What I'm asking is, should I try to talk to him some more and if so, how should I broach the subject? If I should end it, what are steps to take to actually go through with it? Any input on this subject matter would be greatly appreciated... Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well it all depends on how much you really care about this guy!
Relationships are hardwork and I'm sure you already know that from your prior relationship. It takes time, patience, and understanding. Your schedules are tough at the moment but where there is a will there is a way. My boyfriend and I have had trouble in the past with our schedules, it's tough to see one another as often as we like. Our communication over the years has helped tremendously because we accept our schedules. We decided to have a date ngight at least once a week. That day we got out as planned and just hang out and talk and laugh and enjoy each others company. We have done some cool things such as dinner and a movie, ice skating, gondola ride, comedy shows, etc.
If you both put effort into one date night a week then you are bound to make the relationship less tense. You also need to understand that he needs to have his space as well. It's difficult to understand at first but you have to relaize he had a life before you came around and he still has to get things done. So give him some space as well as suggesting a date night in which you both can rekindle some romance.
If you really don't care for this guy, then I would move and go your seperate way because just being in a relationship is not going to make you happy. Think of the future, do you see him in it?
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Its always hard to realize that you're moving in a different the direction from someone you care about deeply. This is not odd at your age. You both have so much going on in your lives - school, work, other relationships. Its a lot to handle. Its completely understandable that you both are experiencing a lot of stress right now and aren't getting along. A relationship should be something that strengthens you and empowers you. It should be something that gives you rest, but you two are only stressing each other out. It sounds to me like its time for you guys to take a break.You tried..it just didn't work out. That doesn't mean that you will never find your way to each other again in the future, but for now this is much too stressful for you to be so young. It takes a mature person to realize that they are in a situation that isn't working for them. I think what's best for both of you is to move on for now. There are just too many obstacles right now for you guys to have a healthy relationship. And that's not bad..its just life. As to going through with it?..well, its never easy to end a relationship. I'm afraid there's no easy way out of this. But prolonging it will only make it harder, so the sooner you have an honest talk with your bf the better. Feelings will be hurt, that's only natural, but eventually you both will begin to feel better knowing that this was just not the time for the two of you.
Good luck.
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Honestly It sounds as though you guys are going the seperete ways. If he doesn't want to take the time to see you.. Then something is not right. In my mind if someone really likes me then he would want to make time out of his 'busy' schedule to see you. I think you two allthough may have only been 15 years old. He is still an ex for a reason.
Hope this helps:)
Jasmine
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