ThIs iSn't a Perfect wOrLd...
PeOpLe gET hUrT..
YoU sMiLe wHen u FeEL LiKe CrYiNg ..
YoU aCt LiKe yOu'Re oK wHeN uR fALLiN' aPaRt..
..buT YoU gOttA LeT gO aND mOvE oN..
-CuZ tHeRE's NuThIn eLsE u CaN dO-
Hey GuyZ n GiRLz! If you have questions i'll be happy to answer them and your more then welcome to leave questions or comments in my inbox!
*jUsT aSk Me*
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Member Since: July 12, 2004
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Last Update: November 16, 2009
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Ok, so a few weeks ago I asked a question regarding my Best guy friend and you answered (i liked your answer the best) so i need your help... again lol. So i told him that one of our friends said we looked like a couple and we both laughed and then later that day i asked him if he's ever thought about us that way and he said sometimes and he asked me if i ever felt that way and i told him not until our friend told me we looked like a couple and so he said it was an interesting thought. The next day in study hall he passed me a note that said "Do you think we would make it as bf/gf instead of bestfriends?" and i put "IDK, what do you think?" and he put "I'm willing if you are". That was a week ago and we havent talked about it since--we havent TALKED since. What do you think i should do? (link)
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Well it sounds like he's interested...I would go for it girl! You can wait until he makes the move...or maybe you should do it! As scary as it sounds you should go for it...maybe surprise him with a kiss? Or ask him to hang out...like maybe on a date. For right now he's probably not talking to you because maybe he's scared or maybe he feels its awkward. Talk to him about it you both are best friends you should be able to talk about anything! Hope that helps! =)
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latley my boyfriend and i have not ben nearly as close, weve talked about it alot and have stopped fighting as much but how can we become so close again? also i might have fallen out of love with him :'( i dont want to talk to him on the phone anymore i find an excuse to hangup, id rather be with friends instead and so on. how can we become close again, i love him but idk whats going on.
today i went to kitaro and asked for an application and the waiter an i talked for over ten min and we both kept catching ourselves ,dare i say, flirting, the other guy never came back with an app so after a while i just said i had to go il come back some other time. i wasnt going to cheat but i felt so much more love out of him than out of my boyfriend of a year n a half.. any tips? :( 15/f (link)
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Maybe its time to move on...if you really feel this way its not fair to you or him to continue this relationship. If you're finding all these excuses such as finding an excuse to hang up or you would rather hang out with friends...it pretty much means just that. You can't make yourself love someone if you don't...you may not want to hurt him but you need to think about what you want as well. If you want to try to rekindle your relationship however bring back the memories of the past....create a first date or a very distinct memory in which you both enjoyed. Hope it works out!
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A few months ago a friend i used to be closed to (i had a major crush on him & maybe again) tricked me by askin me out n not meaning it so i didnt talk to him for months or be nice with him. Hes a funny guy in 10th grade 1 year older than me & an inch short. Now he makes me laugh like he used to & tries to be around n talk to me more. Many people even my friends and his friends say that he could have liked me but was to afraid to admit it n because hes a little shorter than me....Could this be true? And what do i do....I like him...Again? (link)
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Well friends don't treat you that way by tricking you and asking you out so you were right to ignore him. On the other hand what makes you think he won't do it again? He doesn't sound like a friend at all...kidding or not he shouldn't treat you the way he does its mental abuse. Move on and get a way from this guy he sounds like drama...and he did hurt you once whats not to say he won't do it again?
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Well, I know that rebounding is no good, but I made the mistake of rushing into something :/. Yesterday I found out my ex boyfriend was out with this girl that he used to like (and who i know he likes now) and just hearing this made me break down. I knew I had to talk to someone, so I ended up talking to this guy who I have always had a thing for. On the phone I told him what I found out and how I felt sad and he kind of cheered me up. Then out of nowhere I told him that even though I'm not over my ex, I kind of like him! Ahh so today at school I was hanging out with my ex and my friend. My friend has a class with the guy I like so I asked her if he said anything...but my ex was confused and when I told him he seemed to change his mood. :/ I didn't think I was hurting his feelings because he flat out told me to move on because he doesn't see me as anything but a friend. My question is, was it a bad idea to tell him? Should I never bring up guys in front of him??
P.S. The guy who I like told me that he likes someone at the moment, so it didn't work out.
Thanks! (link)
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Being friends with exes is VERY hard. I'm currently going through this situation now and its not easy at all. You're of course going to break down if you find he's with someone else its natural...but at the same time he's going to as well. Although guys don't show their feelings they still have them. It might not be a great idea to talk to one another about your recent relationships or anything having to do with relationships. Just be casual with on another talk about school, movies, or tv or something else.
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15.F
So, last school year I had met this guy in one of my classes and we became 'best friends'
He never considered us this, he always said he only had one best friend, who he always complained about.
Anyway, we would be together during school. ALWAYS. Before, during, in between classes, and after.
I started liking this guy alot. But he never felt the same. Or so I think since he never made a move the whole year.
We would have fights once and awhile and we would end up not talking for a day and he would text me after school saying he missed me, he didn't like pretending he didn't see me in the halls, he needed me, ect. So we'd make up.
But around May, I had enough of the asshole moves he would make, so I told him the friendship was done and legit said "You're dead to me"
New school year, we see eachother everyday now.
We're on talking terms, we still ignore eachother for the most part, but we talk sometimes.
Anyway, for some reason, I still feel like I like this guy. And my friend who knew everything about last year has gotten close to him and she told me she liked him. It was kind of mad.
And jealous, because I do miss him and the way things used to be. But he made it clear to me in September he moved on and I'll live.
I need ways to get over him. I thought I was, but when I saw him again it brought back all those memories.
If I don't get over him soon I have no idea what I'll do. I feel like my sadness of us not being close anymore is starting to control my life. (link)
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I've been in this situation...the guy seems to be really "close" to you and then all of a sudden he backs off and starts acting immature. This guy sounds wicked immature if you ask me and you don't need that. Its sucks that your friend now has a crush on him but have you told her how you felt about him? You're doing the right thing by distancing yourself from him. As for moving on you can its just everytime you see him its going to remind you of when you use to hang out with him. I use to see my ex guy friend when I was going to school it even got to the point that he was spreading rumors about me all over campus. At this point I miss the guy he use to be...and not the guy who he has become. It took awhile to recognize that but when I did it was for the better!
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anyone know any good websites were i can watch films for free ? thanks (: (link)
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youtube.com
hulu.com
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I'm a girl and I hate chick flicks. I just think there dumb and pointless, and everyone has the same story line; boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back again. I would rather watch a mob movie anyday. Is that weird? My bf says it is. (link)
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No! Just because you're a girl doesn't mean that you're going to like or watch chick flicks. Everyone is different some people enjoy chick flicks and you happen to not...you're entitled to have your own opinion. Personally I think its cool because it shows you're not the total "damsel in distress" type of girl. Unfortunately...I sometimes am! =(
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I've never gotten along with other girls. I just think there snobs and like to gossip about everyone else. Surprisingly, I'm actually very girly, I like to shop, I like girly clothes, and doing my nails. But I just have never gotten along with girls for that reason. I have guy friends but no girl friends, is that strange? (link)
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Not at all. I'm the same way its hard for me to make friends with girls than it is with guys. Guys don't seem to have as much drama as girls do plus some girls are wicked catty and snobby which is so annoying to me. I try to hang out with girls but I just don't connect with some of them. I have one girlfriend and she and I are cool but we don't hang out with other girls. Its normal its not strange at all!
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my mom says im not in love but i am . how do i know for sure and is it possible to be in love at 14??? (link)
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Well only you can tell if you're in love or not. Your mom my think you're too young to be in love but if you have strong feelings for someone then it is what it is. You can't help who you fall in love and you can't help who you care for. Trust what your heart is telling you!
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I think i am depressed. I am 16/f. I am 5/7" and weight like 215. I look at everyone else, and think about how pretty they are, and how I am not.
I am embarresed alot. I hate talking to others. I don't like anything about myself. My friends are all changing! I will never change...
I have the best family and home. ANd I can't be happy like everyone else. For some reason. URG>> i know people who live in foster home, to foster home. No money no one at home
how can i be healthy and happy and my friends stilll wanna be my friends whats happeneing? (link)
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Ok I'm not a doctor but I would suggest talking to someone as soon as you can. Whether its in school or whether its outside of school. Talking to someone can help relieve stress and also they can recommend whether or not you see a doctor. Thats another thing talk to your doctor who maybe able to help or can direct you in the right direction.
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long...sorry :(
I'm a brand new freshman in highschool.
over the summer i grew up and i (thought) i became way prettier, nicer, and more outgoing
lately, it seems like i'm a total FREAK. it seems like EVERYONE is making fun of me while i'm standing right there. every time im by myself in the hall or a class and i hear someone in a group of people laugh i get nervous and i just want to cry and try to make myself as invisible as possible.
i think it all started awhile ago with this little thing on facebook called honesty box (where you ask a question like "what do you really think of me?" and people can answer anonymously)and someone wrote "gross." and then we talked back and forth and basically they pretended they were my best friend (even though my actual best friend was with me while it was happening) and even though they didn't say anything actually insulting, (they would say things like "so, hows school?" and "i love you so much your too funny!") i could tell it was some girl making fun of me with one of her friends or something.
now i think that everybody thinks i'm a freak or something. i'm one of those people who TOTALLY over think things. but ive also picked up on people who are ACTUALLY talking about me while i'm right there...like pointing at me subtly and saying something to their friend or when a bunch of people all look at me (not very subtly) and then burst out laughing
the really weird thing is is that i have like two different people in me kind of...one is shy and quiet and awkward and just wants to break down crying from all the anxiety, and the other one is confident and happy and flirty. the second person comes out on the bus to and from school...thats where i get TONS of attention from everyone. there aren't really any wicked popular girls that the guys can talk to i guess, so they all joke with me and tell me im really good looking and stuff like that...and i always feel so happy. i just wish it was like that all the time.
i dont really have much of a question, this was more to get it all out there...
i guess my question is why would people make fun of me while at the same time im cool and beautiful on the bus? i just really don't understand it. and also what can i do to stop overthinking things? and how to NOT be made fun of like that? if youve got anything else feel free to say it..
and please dont hesitate to say what you really think because i need to know
thanks :) (link)
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I was the same way in middle school and even high school...people would nice to me then all of a sudden they would be two faced talking about me behind my back. In middle school I felt I was the odd ball so I didn't talk to many people and avoided a lot of situations. Then everytime I would pass people in the halls I would always think they were talking about me or laughing about me and it made me very paranoid. I started talking to a counselor about it which made me feel better a bit and got rid of some of my anxiety. Realize though this is not you don't blame yourself and don't beat yourself up about it people are mean!
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14/f
i've never had a boyfriend
(so ive never kissed anyone or done anything like that)
i have commitment issues...as in im really scared of a realtionship. i REALLY dont know what to do about it...i mean ill be SO excited because i know that a certain guy likes me, and i get really happy when there talking to me (ive been asked out enough to recognize the "asking out" conversation...) and then they ask me out....and my heart skips a beat and i tell them what i always say: maybe...i have to think about it. and then end up saying no or just letting it fade away without ever giving them an answer
it really kills me because i would do anything for a boyfriend...but apparently i just cant handle the commitment...i like the freedom im flirting with a bunch of guys without worrying about cheating.
i guess subconsciously i sort of believe once im in a relationship thered be NO way out. also, since im a perfectionist, i notice little flaws in the boys that ask me out, which does NOT work for me
i know i probably sound incredibly shallow and probably bipolar but i cant really help it...its just very confusing and i dont know how to get over my fears.
thanks for any help you have :)
(link)
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Well you need to overcome that fear...sadly we all get hurt and it sucks but it happens. You're ONLY 14 you're young having a commitment would be like getting married which you don't have to. Relationships are fun and great ways to learn and maybe even find love. If you want a boyfriend then start dating someone don't continue shutting out guys. Just try it! You say you want freedom and that you want a boyfriend? Well I think at this point you need to just think about which one you want because can't really have both. Plus you're only 14 you're young there are a lot more boys that will be asking you out on dates in the future as you continue high school and even in college.
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i just recently was dumped by my boyfriend. We decided to be friends and im okay with that. But today he gave me a hug, and when he did he asked (kinda whispered in my ear) if i hated him. i said no(we were still hugging). then he kinda 'embraced' me and looked in my eyes and was like, promise? and i felt my stomach drop and i got kinda weak in the knees and it freaked me out. I didn't know what to do so i said 'okay were too close' and i backed away. i think he was kinda offended by that. I honestly dont think i can trust myself to be that close to him yet. i had the urge to kiss him, and i can't do that anymore. He sent me an email asking what was up with it. Do i tell him the truth? Also what do you guys think of the situation.
Thanks a bunch
lonley_girl (link)
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Lonely Girl,
You should be honest with yourself and with him. Maybe its too early to hang out together maybe you need sometime apart to think about things. Starting a friendship right after you've been dumped is really hard and its not easy because the feelings still exist. He may think that this is going to be easy and wants to know if you'll be okay with it...but it doesn't sound like you are it sounds like you're still in love. Maybe its best if you give each other space for a bit to think about things.
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im a fairly good writer, actualy i am quite good at it.
i took a writing class last year and i produced some of my best work their, however, i was not the most delight to teach. i did talk to my fellow classmates, and i did hand in some things late HOWEVER i overal felt i did nice in the class.
i asked the teacher today for a recemmendation and she replied EVILY. She told me i did not improve in her class (to which i replied i got an A- on the final paper... how is that nor imprroving?!?) she just kept trying to pick at minor things i did wrong and it really got to me;so much that i cried. no thats an understatement, i SOBBED. it really hurt to have a teacher who you thought appriciated your work to reject you and in such a harsh way! i mustered up the courage to ask her, when i knew things were a tad rocky with her, the least should could say was a simple no! instead she really hurt my feelings and left a big big scar on me. she really made me question myself and it just really overall hurt.
i spoke to my advisor and she told me shell help me find a different teacher (although i told her NONE like me)
but what are your feelings on what occureD?
(my mother is FURIOUS.)
was she right? wrong?
(link)
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Well you say you're a great writer maybe your teacher thinks that too and she expected a lot more from you then you thought. She might have had high expectations for you during class which can sometimes happen. The only reason teachers are so strict and hard is becasue they want their students to achieve and take the learning from the classroom and apply it in everday life. I would go find another teacher to write you a recommendation but don't take the criticism too seriously take it...and try harder next time.
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okay, im a nineteen year old female and i really want a baby. im NOT old enough, and i know im not ready, but i cant help wanting one. there is no way that i will have one right now, because i dont want to hurt the chances of my child's future, so i WIll wait to have a child. i was just wondering if anyone has ever felt the same excitement for motherhood so young, like me. and, if you have, i was wondering how you deal with it, because its been making me sad lately. (link)
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I have felt the same way about having a baby ever since I was 13. I always wanted to have a baby but knew that it was a big responsibility. I would love to be able to take care of another life because I love caring for others. I realize though that I have to work on me and I need to get my life in order before bringing a child into this world. I want to be able to support the child and get it the life it deserves with everything and anything they could possible want. I have wanted to always get a dog because I figured that would be a great idea but I'm allergic. I deal with it by just telling myself its not the time and I need to get my life in order for that to happen. Concentrate on the now...so later you'll be ready to have a family and you'll have a successful time in supporting your family as well.
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ok, i'm 19f. i dated this guy [19m] on and off since i was 15, mostly on. we were both virgins when we started dating and still are. he was my 1st for everything else [except kissing] and i was his. we've been broken up since march, but everytime we see each other, which isnt too often because we still have problems, mainly with him always being with this other girl who he claims not to like and says he still wants and loves me, yet shes always saying she loves him and stuff [theyve never even dated], anyway whenever we're actually in each others presense, we're fine with each other and usually fool around.
so fast forward to now. im in college 3 hours from home. two weeks ago i met this guy at a bar and have seen him everyday since. he's so sweet, caters to me in every way he can, and i enjoy spending time with him. he wants to date me, but i dont want to rush into something serious, so we're still "talking". he's been with 17 girls! which he said is a thing of the past and now he wants a relationship, and feels bad because i usually pick at him for having such a big number ha. but he knows im a virgin and is fine with the fact that i told him i wont be giving it up to him any time soon.
the problem is, i've always said i'd regret it if i lost it to anyone but my ex. we have almost 4 years of history together, we were each others first loves. he'd be so disappointed if he knew i gave it up to someone else, and i think i would be too. he was a big part of my life, and i still want to lose it to him. everytime we're together, it almost happens, and last weekend when i saw him, it really almost did, but didn't. i just dont know what to do now. if i lose it to my ex and my new guy finds out, im afraid he'll be crushed and leave me, which i dont want because im really starting to like him a lotttt and could see myself officially dating him pretty soon. on the other hand, my ex doesnt know about my new guy. and im afraid if i lose it to him and he finds out ive been talking to this other guy all along, he'll be pissed. but im more concerned about the latter. what to do here? by the way, im not trying to rush anything. i am 19, and it's bound to happen sooner or later. (link)
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Well its kind of a win/ lose situation! Instead of having sex with your ex...go for the new guy there is a reason why your ex is your ex. I know you still have feelings for your ex but that doesn't mean you should have sex with him. I would say get to know the new guy and whenever you're ready you should start dating. Who cares if your ex get pissed? Your ex had a chance and well its his loss. As cruel as that may sound its true!
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My relationship with my ex was incredibly stressful and destructive. We argued constantly and even though we loved and cared about each other, we couldn't make it work. We were together for about a year but split up at least twice during that period. Eventually, I ended the relationship. He claimed to be heartbroken and kept calling and texting me with angry and hurtful messages.
About a week later, it turned out he was seeing a girl I'd always been suspicious of. He is now having a relationship with her. Although he admitted he was still in love with me, he said he had moved on and refused to discuss it with me. Now he won't talk to me at all.
I know I broke up with him and he has every right to do what he wants but I can't help being hurt and upset. It feels like a betrayal. Although it could just be a rebound thing, it's like he's chosen the one girl he knew would hurt me the most. I can't help but think he didn't really love or care about me if he can move on that quickly. I assumed we had mutual respect for each other and after he tried so hard to guilt trip me and upset me when we split up, I'm surprised that he immediately got into a new relationship.
I want to just forget about it, but I can't stop thinking about the fact that he's with her. I've avoided going out because in case I bump into them and because the girl lives just round the corner from me, I'm scared I'll see her. My ex also goes to my college and is in one of my classes, so I can't avoid him. How can I forget about this? It's making me angry and upset and affecting everything in my life. (link)
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Well clearly he's still not over you and that this is a rebound for sure. He's trying to get your attention and he's trying to make you feel just as badly as he did when you broke up with him. And to do that he chose the girl you didn't necessarily like and started dating her to get your attention. He still has feelings for you...he may have moved on physically to another person but not emotionally.
I know its hard I went to the same school with my ex and after the break up it wasn't easy...what I did was ignored him too! As hard as it maybe I just carried on with my own work instead of worrying about him. He would try to talk to me from time to time but I ignored him for the most part because he had so much drama going on. You maybe hurting now but you should know that he's trying to hide his feelings and he's still hurt. And in the end you were with him first you both had some special.
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18/f
I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago. I don't regret it, I needed a little break. He didn't understand the concept of a break. He didn't get how that if I loved him how I could break up with him. Anyway it was a big mess for a few weeks and he said he never wanted to talk to me again. But then late at night (around 2am) he started texting me. First it was once a week, then twice, then almost everyday. Wouldn't really talk about much, just filling each other in on our lives. Well now he has a new "girlfriend" but his friends, sister and mother all agree that its just a rebound to get laid, she is also using him as a rebound. So its not like the relationship is going anywhere. I'll be seeing him when I come home from school over thanksgiving break, I'm going to pick up my stuff from his house. While I'm there I want to tell him that I want him back. Not immediately though..he has to change a little. Since we broke up he started smoking pot again so that he's stoned 24/7 and he's in this depressed unmotivated all time low since the break up. You're probably thinking 'why the heck would she want to get back with him?' Well he wasn't like this when we were together and he wasn't like this before we met. All his friends say that I'm the only ex he's kept in contact with. I truly think that he would stop smoking for me, no doubt it'll take time but he's done it before.
I don't want to wait to have this conversation but I would prefer to have it in person but I won't see him for another 2 weeks. And I'm at college 4 hours away.
I basically need a little coaching through this. I've never wanted to get back with an ex. But this one's really special, deep down in there and I'm willing to fight for it. We had a really good relationship for 8 months up until the last week or so and thats only because I was getting stressed from school/work and it was affecting our relationship.
So how do I bring up that conversation? Should I call or text him now and tell him that I want to talk? (link)
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Honestly I think this kind of talk needs to be done face to face so I would keep it to yourself for the next two weeks til you are home. Then call him when you get home and say hey let's meet up we have to talk. Then tell him everything face to face and see what he says...tell him how you feel and what exactly you and him need to do to make this relationship work out and to try it again. Don't text him or call him...I know the wait is long but it will be worth it!
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so me and this guy have been "talking" for about two months now but we cant date because of his work he is extremely busy for the fall because he works from 8 in the morning until 11 at night so there is no time for us to hang out. before his work got so busy though we would hang out like every day until like 2 in the morning and it was amazing he would call me dear and babe and just be so cute with me i love being around him. but im not sure what he is thinking i mean is it really that big of a deal to date now if in a month he wont be busy anymore? i mean im beginning to wonder if waiting around for him is a waste of my time. i just like him so much ive fallen really hard for him and i really want to be with him im just not sure if waiting is the best idea any ideas? (link)
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Well it all comes down to what you want. Is this guy really worth waiting for? If you think its worth it than go for it but if you think its a bit shady step back and look at the situation. The again whats the rush its only been two months whats wrong with getting to know him a bit more and then waiting until next month to see where you both stand. Maybe even ask him about where he thinks this is going you should be able to talk to him about it. The choice is yours!
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I have this crush on a guy, and I think I've seen things that may show that he likes me, but I'm not sure if I'm right. For example, my friends and i were checking if we could catch his attention discreetly, so she called out my name out loud, he didn't hear it, then the second time he looked at me. Also, sometimes I find him staring at me, but once I look he turns away. He also teases e at swim team, so do I. Once we were at Finals and the team was putting blue gel into our hair, and he refused to do it, so around three of us decided to put some in for him. We got him, but he was still trying to get away. After we found some more and decided to put more in, and after running for a bit he just let me put it in. And that time I was the only one after him.
Does he like me? (link)
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Those are some signs that he may like you. Suggest hanging out sometime soon whether it be with friends or just the two of you. Get to know him a bit more than you already and flirt with him and see if he flirts back.
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