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Hey Everyone! My name is Bess! I've been through a lot in my life and have experienced some things that have really helped me see things differently. I really want to help people with whatever they maybe going through...so if you have a question please feel free to send me a message I would be happy to help! advice
okay im 16/f n im a virigin
ive have known ma man for 3 1/2 years and he really wants to do it and so do i.but im so scared b/c its my 1st time and im so scared of gettin pregnant. he told me that we will use a condom and everything but still im not 100% sure.can anyone tell me how can i be 100% sure that i will not get pregnant.
Well the only true way to NOT get pregnant is to not have sex. That would be the ONLY way to know that you aren't pregnant. With all the other things...there is a bit of a risk...I'm not sure but I think with a condom its either 89%-99% chance that you won't get pregnant...plus the condom could break. There is also the birthday control pill but I think I've heard that the pill has an 80% chance of preventing pregnancy.
The answer to your question would be...if you're really not ready then you're not ready don't rush it...when the time is right you'll know. Maybe think about going on birth control and have him wear a condom as well. To keep yourself from having kids though...it's easy don't have sex!
18-Female
I've been dating the same guy for about 3 months now without any problems. Before him i hadn't dated anyone i just had a few crushes one of them being a country boy that i thought i could never be with he wasn't popular i just didn't grow up in the country i wore what some would call a more "punk" look but not to an extreme. I always pictured me and him getting together and me getting to live on a farm like i had dreamed well he moved out when we were Juniors and lives only a half an hour away last year for prom i saw him because he was in my group and have seen him one other time in his truck so now every-time i am in town i seem to be looking into every truck that looks similar im not sure why im looking for him when i have and love my boyfriend.
I have also been having dreams last night i had a dream where i saw him at my graduation party and somehow everyone could tell that i liked him and my boyfriend left me and the guy confessed his love to me.
Does this mean anything or is it just a crush. I have no plans on leaving my current boyfriend i am just wondering what all this means if it even means anything.
Well according to DreamDictionary.com:
"To see your crush in your dream, represents your current infatuation with him or her. If you find yourself thinking about him during the day, then it is understandable that his image will appear in your dream during the night. If you dream of your crush frequently, then your dream maybe be telling you that it is time to let this person know how you feel, especially if you are dreaming of him or her in a good way. Only good things can happen from you telling your crush. Even if he or she is not interested, at least you can move on and stop wasting time on him or her."
Hope that helps! :)
ok heres the deal. im friends with this guy. Hes such a try hard gangster its kinda funny. im not at all physcially attracted to him although he has an okay personality.
One of my mates today said she thought he liked me. So she asked him straight out would you go out with her! and i was standing right next to him :S he said yeah and admitted he kinda had a thing for me. i was like "AKWARD i getta go to class cya" lol. but now that i think about it i think i should give him a go but im not that sure. and i may still have feelings for my ex.
what should i do?
Well how close are you guys? Do you really see him as a possible boyfriend? Several of my guy friends have had something for me...but I've never passed the "friend" zone with any of them because I didn't feel it. If you feel something for this guy then go for it by all means. You mentioned how you have feelings for your ex which makes me think you're not ready to enter into a new relationship. In the end its your decision whether or not you want this friend to be more then your friend. You should think about it and then of course tell him how you're feeling and what you want to do. After my friend told me he had a thing for me I had to tell him I didn't feel the same way and it was really difficult and it took him awhile to get over but we've been best friends for about 8 years and we're really close.
Just think about what you want or need!
Good luck! :)
There is a boy in my english class and I think for a total fact that he likes me. He does that grade school shenanigans, he makes fun of me, pokes me, touches my desk, flips my book pages when I'm not looking. I asked this kid next to me if he knew how to spell my last name and he forgot the second letter so the kid that I like said "no no, it's spelled like this" and he wrote it on my folder and spelled it right. He just broke up with his girlfriend. Which I really like because she wasn't the best to him. We talk every single day. We look each other in the eyes all the time, even if we aren't talking. He asks me for help when he doesn't understand something. I heard when a guy accuses you of liking someone else, he likes you. He does that, he accuses me of liking the nerdiest kid in our class when I don't. The boy I like is a flirt but when he was dating his girlfriend he was really loyal and I respected it. He would trace around her fingers on the desk in english. Everytime she wanted to play bloody knuckles, he would play with her even if he didn't want to. They would hold hands all the time. They were always together. I kinda want him but do you think he likes me? If so, what do I do? Thanks!
Well my boyfriend tells me that guys make fun of you and are mean to you if they like you. Now thats just some guys...thats how my boyfriend was before we started dating...weird huh? I thought so. Its hard to say...it sounds like he is interested...why not flirt back? Flirt back and see what he does...or if you are confident ask him...maybe ask him if he wants to hang out sometime! Good luck! :)
Well there's is this girl, I really love so much & adore with all my heart and care bout' so dearly. She lost her grandma, someone who was so so special to her like a mother. Now she's suffering and crying due to her loss & as a guy I feel worthless and ashamed that I don't know waht to do to help her. Waht shud I do ? :\ I don't like seeing her like this. Any advice I can give her ?
I'm going through a similar situation right now with a friend. And its really hard I agree with you, you wish there was something that you could do to take their mind off of it but nothing really works. What I would suggest is just let her know you're there for her and that if she ever needs to talk that you're there. If she needs to "rant" or cry or just wants to talk...just listen. She may be angry and upset but just listening will help her and maybe even give her a hug just to let her know that you care. You seem like a nice guy...heck maybe you and your friends could take her out some night to hang out and have fun! If she doesn't want to then maybe offer coming over with some food or something. The best you can do right now is be there for her!
I am fourteen (girl) and my boyfriend is sixteen (boy) and we have been dating for five (almost six) months. I really really really like him, and that's why I'm asking this question or I would have broken up with him a while ago. We met at the begining of the school year, talked for three months, then started dating. The problem is, for the past month he's been... the best word for it really is PMSy. Like moody and wierd. One day he'll be perfectly fine and then the next (or even the next hour) he'll act like he wants nothing to do with me. We've talked about this problem SO MANY TIMES. He recognized this is his fault and he says there is nothing I can do to help. But if its not my fault then its not fair that I have to suffer. He can be mean... Like he'll just say something bratty or respond with one word answers like okay? and cool... like he doesn't even give a shit. It pisses me off. THe thing is though, this happened so suddenly. That's why I haven't broken up with him. I honestly don't think he has changed as a person. People can't change so dramatically so quickly. He's a good guy and he's good for me. I don't know what love is really but I think I might love him. I just don't know what to do anymore... We agreed to try and work this out but he doesn't always seem to want to do that. He'll act like its this big burden. Or he'll barely try. All in all, he acknowledges that he's being a dick, but he doesn't know why he's doing it. THe past two days have actually been good though... I know I want to work this out, and I know he does too but my question is; WHAT CAN WE DO TO FIX IT?? Like, is there something specific we can do? and I mean DO. We're done with the talking. We've talked about everything over and over and over again. I just want it to WORK now. I know we can do it. I jut don't know how. We've tried to find reasons, and I honestly think it is because we rushed into physical stuff kind of quickly. He was a lot more experienced than me and I felt kind of hurried along... I wanted to do the stuff we did I just didn't know it would affect me like this. I think it made me clingy... But I don't know. It could also be that he's having some friend issues and school stuff but still... Just.. HELP.
I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend. It happened yesterday even...my boyfriend was home and called me saying everything sweet that I want to hear...he was so happy. He went to class and then when he got out of class he had a bad attitude and started taking it out on me. Sometimes guys are just angry and moody and its not because of you I'm sure. I think it might be something else maybe he's stressing out about something that he may not be telling you. Now there are two things you can do...
You can bring it to his attention AGAIN! Tell him that you can listen to him rant but you will not by any means be his punching bag...thats NOT fair to you! You should never allow anyone to do that to you no matter how much you love them!
Or the other thing is if you really don't like then break up with him...if you don't want him to continue his behavior. He may continue and you may get fed up with it...so I would suggest talk to him or just walk away.
Hope it all works out! :)
if you saw your husband sending messages to other girls lets say thru facebook or myspace etch and he wrote "hey bby let me get your aim or msn,your a cutie" while being with you would you get mad?? but without him knowin you check his thing .
It's a sign of him being unfaithful...I would be mad as hell! The thing I would do is confront my husband and ask him what was going on. Its understandable if he thinks someone is cute but sending a message and acting on it is wrong especially if you're married!
hey! ok i have a friend and i guess she was just using me to get next to a guy she likes . the guy she likes is my friend and everytime i used to tell her he called me and things like that she would be calling me everyday. now that they aint together anymore she doesnt even bothers calling me..is not only that, is that a big problem happened...so i guess she hardly talks to me because of that big problem..but what bothers me is that in school she is all nice to me and is always looking for me but once she is out of school "pufff" she dissaperas..not even thru myspace she talks to me..it just pisses me off..and her cusin died and i was the one that was mostly there for her and she says am the only one that gives her good advices but now i dont even feel like talking to her..i think she is so fake towards me :( can you please help me. am sorry if this is too long . i just need some help on how to act with her.
You want my honest advice! GET RID OF HER!
She sounds like a horrible person and you have been there for her through thick and thin? Why? Don't bother with her anymore. Sorry if I sound harsh but she sounds really full of herself and REALLY selfish! Get rid of her and start hanging out with people who don't use you and ignore you! Hang out with people who are going to treat you right and treat you the way you want to be treated.
I also think you should watch this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYH6sn2ulfs
Good luck! :)
ok so i used to be good friends with this girl but one day she played a little joke on me and i didnt talk to her for a long time! now its been about a year scince we havent talked to each other! she tried saying sorry many times but scince im very proud and i never forgave her! :( then all of a sudden she stopped saying sorry and got new friends. now i miss the good old times with her!i want to be friends with her but i dont know how? im preety sure she even forgot about me! i just dont know what to do! please give me advice!
Well you could try talking to her but I wouldn't be surprised if she ignored you the same you did to her. Unless she feels the same way too...but there is only one way to find out! Talk to her and see what happens! Good luck! :)
well ive been friends with this girl for already a long time! its just that lately i just find her very annoying for no reason! i feel wierd around her and i dont talk to her anymore! what should i do??
It just sounds like you need a little time apart from one another which isn't bad or wrong. There are times where I need space from my friends but I tell them that I need space and that I'll talk to them when I feel better. Just tell her the situation...don't tell her she is annoying...tell her you just need some space...because ignoring her is going to make the situation worse!
16/female
So I've been friends with this guy for about three years and friends with his girlfriend for about four months. Well they broke up and I tried being friends with both of them. She said all these nasty horrible things about him. He called me really upset a few nights ago saying he was tired of what she was saying and I was like she told me this stuff about you and blah blah. I cheered him up said bye. Well today I went to my friends party and when I came in my friend came up and said that this girl his ex was really pissed and that she hated me because he told her that i told him what she said. Well the party was terrible since she basically made it all about her by crying and making everyone mad at me. I felt like a total brat. So I called my dad and he came and got me. I want to know how to make this right. She's a really angry person, she gets angry about everything. She holds grudges she's always mad, shes really hateful and difficult, if shes mad at you, you know and if you try and apologize she'll bite your head off. I'd stop being her friend but the thing is she's friends with all my friends. What should I do?
Oh I know this situation all to well!
Clearly you are closer to the guy then you are with the girl because you have known this guy for three years. You should just stay out of it...totally I mean stay out of their fight. Its their fight between them not you...you don't need to be their messenger! She sounds a bit stubborn I would stay away from her...and just because she's friends with your friends doesn't mean you still can't be friends with your friends. I would stop being friends with her and be there for your friend. Good luck! :)
How do you know to trust somebody? Im seemingly losing all trust in people. My best friend seems to be hiding things from me, people around me are cheating, lying to one another, scheming. I just dont know who or what to people? Why are people so private yet so seemingly open. Or why are they two faced? And how do we know who to trust with our own secrets? I seem to be losing all control over my trust, its just not there in so many cases I don't really know what to do. So many people are telling me not to always be so naive? But what kind of relationship can you have with someone if you don't trust them? Please some one help me with this... What is trust and when should it be given if at all? Who can we truly trust?
I ask these questions all the time. How do you know how to trust someone?
Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. I use look at my friends who are there for me and the ones that I can depend on. I trust the people who have been there for me and I've had my times where my friendships were tested with these people. Its the people who are dependable that I feel are trustworthy. There are someone people that seem to be trustworthy at first and then they backstab you it hurts like hell. Its almost as if they pull out a Dr Jerkyl and Mr. Hyde kind of thing right infront of your face. There are different relationships in life where I am close with some people more then others.
Here watch this clip on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYH6sn2ulfs
This clip to me REALLY makes sense of things!
Good luck! :)
Me and my bestfriend get in fights over the most stupid things! At first I think she's joking, but then I can see she's not! I really love her as my friend, but the fights make MY life worse! What should I do?
That sounds like me and my best friend! I tend to joke with her a bit and its hard for her to see if I'm joking or not. Talk to her about it...maybe suggest to her if you're really serious with me can you let me know. If you two are friends you should be able to tell her anything...and she should understand. This question makes me look at myself and I realize I need to change the way I joke towards my friends sometimes. I should be serious when I need to be serious in some situations! Great question!! :)
I think I love my best friend his name is alex he has a girlfriend they have been together for two years but I can't help it I don't know what to do
Well to be honest you can't do much right now! It wouldn't be right or apropriate to mention you have feelings for Alex especially if he's in a relationship. Think about how you would feel if you were in his shoes...or if you were in his girlfriend's shoes? Would you be okay if you were in a relationship for two years with someone you cared about and then randomly your friend tells you that they love you? If he's happy with the girl you just have to let it be. I was with a guy for a bit and then we broke up...because of distance. He started this other girl for 5 months...and believe me for those 5 months it was hell for me. I loved him and because I did I wanted him to be happy so I let him be happy no matter how much it killed me. My advice would be don't tell him it wouldn't be right!
So I’ll admit- I’m straight edge
Never tried alcohol cause I’m under 21.
Never tried pot
Never experimented.
And neither had my best friend, but recently she’s been hanging around this girl who is her “New school best friend” cause we go to different schools. But I’ve always been her regular best friend. This girl she’s hanging out with wants her to smoke pot with her next weekend, and my friend is trying to play it cool like she doesn’t care. But I know she does. I told her she shouldn’t do it and she was like “it’s only one time, and plus it’s already been decided.”
That’s what everyone who does pot says, that they’re only going to do it one time. But before she knows it she’s gonna get more comfortable with doing it and such… and I don’t know. I know I can’t change her mind for her. But is there any way I could talk her out of it or something? Cuz pot sort of ruined my life, even though I’ve never done it. I had a bad experience with a boyfriend who dumped me because I wouldn’t smoke pot with him and stuff. It just… pisses me off I guess that she would do something like that and not even talk to me about it.
"it's already been decided."
I don’t know.
Does anyone get it? I feel like an ass, but I’m really concerned.
What do I do?
I was straight edge before I became 21...I mean COMPLETE straight edge. I am now over 21 so I do drink but other then that...thats it! There is nothing wrong with being straight edge either! Yeah...I know quite a few people who smoke pot...and I don't necessarily agree with it but I can't stop them. Your ex-boyfriend dumped you because you wouldn't smoke pot? He sounds a bit dumb to me! There is not much you can do in this situation because she's going to do what she wants...its not like smoking pot is going to change the person she is. I'm sure you two will still remain friends...its normal to feel concerned and don't feel bad about it. You have to however let her do what she wants...you don't have control over her and it sounds she already made up her mind.
well theres this guy at my school and i dont know if he likes me it seems like he does but he used to like my friend and i dont want to get my heart broken again and he knows what ive been through with these other guys and i know some stuff about him i seriously dont know what to do what should i do anybody please answer my question i dont want to get my heart broken anymore =*(****
Well I hate to break the news but you're bound to get your heartbroken again. There is no way of preventing it from happening...it sucks I know! I've been through heartbreak that you can't even imagine. It was better in the days of kindergarden when you had a little crush on a boy. There is not much you can do to prevent yourself from heartbreak...well there is one thing you could stay in your room for the rest of your life. I doubt you want to go with that though. There was a guy I once knew he's honestly one of the smartest guys I know and I keep refering to him in a lot of my advice but he had a poem about risk. It was called "ONLY A PERSON WHO RISKS IS FREE" by Author Unknown.
In the poem it says:
"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free."
The poem is one of my favorites...it definitely makes you think, doesn't it? So if you want to know if he likes you then the best thing you can do is ask. If he says "yes" thats great...but if he happens to say no...its not the end of the world...there are more boys in the world. Good luck! :)
Can a relationship work out if both people really love each other and are willing to put in a lot of effort to make it last EVEN IF the guy's friends don't really like the girl? Or will it be too problematic?
It's okay if you honestly don't think it can last, I won't get upset, I just wanna know before I get all too invested.
Thank you!
Its hard to say. I'm kind of in that situation now...I'm back with my ex-boyfriend and before his friends weren't crazy about me. Right now I get along with maybe two of them...but its hard to say. I care about him don't get me wrong but its weird because he seperates me from his friends a lot since I don't get along with them. What I figure is guys will be guys...if you love him and he loves you thats all that should matter...don't listen to what others say. Its you and him...just don't let any drama go down...its better to stay away from it. You're dating him not his friends you're dating him. I say go for it...listen to your heart but use your head! Good luck! :)
I honestly did not start caring so much about certain things until I started high school. I feel like now I'm starting to care more about my looks, what people think about me, fashion, etc... I'm currently a freshman in high school. It's like all the time, I look around me and I see a bunch of gorgeous girls. They just look pretty, and have cute clothes, you know what I mean? I envy that kinda stuff now. It seems that everyone has boobs, and I honestly think I'll be flat-chested forever since my mom is pretty petite, and my sister who is 19 doesn't have big breasts either. I know it shouldn't matter but it really gets to me. A lot of the time, I just feel ugly, and envious of other girls. As it got further into the year in my first semester of high school, I started changing my style. I'm not changing who I am just to fit in or feel more accepted. I feel as though my personality is the same. I wasn't really the 'girlish' type in middle school, but I'm finding certain clothes... cute. o.o... haha. I admit, sometimes I says things about girls who wear clothes like 'booty shorts', tank tops, or have their boobs popping out of their shirts or something, and I'd think they were slutty. Most of the time, I would think they're slutty because of their behavior. Sometimes, I'm just probably jealous and envious deep down inside. Right now, I want to wear shorts and buy cute tank tops because I think it'll be cute, and I'm finding the summer-ish styles to be really cute. I just don't want to seem slutty. :\ Is that so weird? o_o I don't want my friends to think I'm changing in a bad way either. As if I'm "changing who I am", or "turning into a slut" or something. I'm surely not into "that" type of behavior. One other thing is, is that whenever I'm in the mood to look at clothes online, the female models I see on the websites, I just kinda envy them. -.- They're not big busted either, and they look pretty. I don't know, does this seem weird/is it normal? xD Any advice on what I can do about my self-esteem or my teenage girl fashion crisis? haha. -.-
I remember when I was a freshmen in high school...I was thinking the same thing. I went to school in sweatpants and sweatshirts I could of cared less and then I would see these girls with cute shirts and cool jeans and I would envy them. Its fine that you feel that way its common to want to change your style of clothing...I use to be girly now I'm a bit more into jeans and a t-shirt. It makes me happy! Do what you feel is best and just because you want to start dressing similar to them doesn't make you a slut. I also remember in high school girls used "slut" a lot and they tend to use it out of context. Just because you dress a certain way doesn't make you a slut and don't worry about your friends if they are your realy friends they'll stick by you no matter what!
So i've liked a guy for about a year now and we've hung out a few times and stuff. well, my friends went to semi and i didn't (prior engagements) and one of my friends danced with him (she knows i like him). Then they started texting all the time and he asked her to prom and she's going!
I feel so hurt and embarassed and ugly and i really dont know what to do. she'll probably ask me to go dress shopping and stuff with her but i think i might cry if i do.
Am i being overdramatic? Everyone is telling me that i am but i can't help it :(
what do i do?
My best friend and I were close at the beginning of high school! There was this guy in my class I liked a lot and I would talk to her about it all the time. She knew I really liked him a lot...I would hang out with him and everything. One day we all end up hanging out and the two of them end up hitting it off. I was heartbroken...I didn't say anything but I use to get mad at her a lot because I felt as though she back-stabbed me. I would talk to your friend and let her know how you feel. In terms of her going with him to prom you really can't do much...just let them go together...in terms of a relationship thats going to be a bit hard. Talk to her about it, if you girls are friends then she should be understanding...she may not be she maybe a little hurt but she did know you liked him. As I always say to these questions don't let a man get in between a friendship EVER! To this day...she is still my best friend...because fortunately we worked things out! :) Good luck!!
this boy in my class wich im good friends with found out the other day that i like him as more than a friend, he never said much about it but were not really talking to each other much now and i find it hard to look him in the eye with out it feeling awkawrd. what shall i do ?
I know it seems awkward...I hate those situations! I asked this guy to my junior prom in high school...and I had a crush on him for a bit. He went with me to prom and it made me so happy...I tried talking to him after and told him that I liked him. He told me he didn't feel the same way and I ended up feeling stupid...really stupid. He told me however I shouldn't feel stupid...and that I should say how I feel and never feel stupid. Taking chances is something we all should do its hard but in the end its worth it because we have less regret. The guy also went on to say when one door closes another will open...I wish we had more guys like this in the world to make it less complicated. Its easier to say keep your head up...but if you feel comfortable try and talk to him and see whats going on. If he acts like a jerk and immature about it...then don't bother with him you're wasting your time! I hope it works out! :)