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advice

Want to know quiCkest way bto die martin 010172 40yrs

We all have our moments in life where we feel we can't go on. Whether it be something personal, work related, or something else. These challenges thrown at us, only make us stronger. Its better to face the problem. I'm sure you have family and loved ones who care about you. Please talk to someone and you might feel better. Suicide is not the answer. Good luck!

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I am 14 years old and there is this guy in my theatre class that I really like but so does my best friend. She and him are always flirting and it makes me jealous, but then I feel bad... She knows that I like him but she just forgets sometimes I think and I don't know how to fix it without ruining our friendship... What should I do? (My friend and I are female and freshman in high school and he is a male sophomore in high school)

No guy should ever come between you and your friend. I would say the both of you should just move on and find other guys that you might like. I've been in this situation with a friend and it didn't really turn out well. We fought a lot. Until we realized our friendship means a lot more to us than this guy. Good luck!

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he need 2 love hm as he loved me before

I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about but you can't make someone feel the way they do. And why would you want to? Wouldn't you want them to be honest with you instead of pretending to be what you want them to be?

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or is that too enabling or encouraging?


my 22 year old daughter is incarcerated for a year for fraud charges. I am unable to have much sympathy for her about this because she committed a crime even though I never told her it was OK to participate in illegal activities, wasted her education (which was as good as anyone could hope for( , set a bad example for her younger sister, and this is her punishment and maybe it will be a good learning experience and toughen her up.

I wonder if I should visit her. I hear it may take a month to get visits. Is visiting also something that should be encouraged or is it seen as too enabling or encouraging to the person inside. I don't want to give anyone (especially her younger sibling) the idea I support criminal activity.

is there an account that she needs money on or something? Is it for necessities or for some luxury items? If only for luxury items I am not sure if I should send anything since I don't have the desire to make the stay all cushy for her.

anything else I should tell her? Maybe she can get some job inside or something?

You're her father you should visit your daughter whether or not you support her that is your children. Going to visit her in jail doesn't mean you support what she has done but its showing her that you care. I don't have children, but I know my mom would stand by me no matter what...I understand if I was arrested or what have you she wouldn't be too happy but she would have my back. That's what parents do and I think right now your daughter needs you the most.
I don't know if I would bring her anything. I would call the jail and see what they allow...maybe something from home that is comforting.

Good luck!

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I am a 29 year old mother of 2 and I'm engaged to a man with his own daughter. We met at work and kept out relationship a secret for almost a year. 3 months into our relationship he started seeing another woman (who was married and preg.) as well. He was sleeping with both of us for 3 months b4 I found out. Then after our relationship was out in the open his daughters mom claims they slept together. He denied it but I believe her. After I moved in he started talking to the married woman again. I moved out but he once again talked me into coming back. He is addicted to the tv doesn't make me feel like I'm very important and I'm not comfortable around him. He never has asked about my past and tells me nothing bout his. Its a totally one sided relationship. He is totally self absorbed and thinks of no one but himself. His parenting style is lax mine is strict. I don't feel comfortable telling his daughter what to do but he has no prob telling. mine. He has put cameras outside the house to watch what I do while he is gone and I've never cheated. I love him totally but can't live this way much longer. If I try to talk to him about ne issues I have he will instantly throw back issues he has with me instead of talking. Please help me.

Why are you with him? Move out and this time don't come back. Go move in with family. This is a toxic relationship and by staying its just going to continue to get worst. You need to get yourself out of the home and if not for you than for your children's sake. They should not be witnessing this kind of behavior and they shouldn't see a man treating their mother disrespectfully either. Reach out to family or find somewhere to go and get yourself out of this situation. Break off contact with him and if he tries to call ignore him. Good luck!

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I'm in a seriously screwed up situation.I have a boyfriend named Andrew.He's two years older than I am.This upcoming Wednesday,we will have been together for two weeks.

I met him earlier this year,because he's a friend of my brother's.My friend's told him I like him,and it turned out he likes me back.He started writing me notes,since we don't talk that much.He recently told me in a note that he loves me.He asked me out,and I had him waiting for a week,until I finally told him no.
SO he went out with his bestfriend.He also stopped talking to me,and avoided me.I was honestly hurt,so I gave him all his notes and gifts back,even though he told me to keep them.
After school,once him,two of my bff's,my brother,and two of his friends were together,one of his friend's Damien stopped him.Damien called him a whore,and asked him how long was he gonna be with this gf(which was his bestfriend).He looked shocked that I heard,but I left because I was hurt.

He recently asked me out,and I told him yes.But now,I regret it.I can now see all of the red flags I should've paid attention to ahead of time.
His friend's look at me with a look of sorrow in their eyes.And also like their hiding something.

He told me his life was screwed up,and he didn't care anymore,and said f*** life,but I made him want to live life.

I really want to break up with him,for several reasons,but I'm scared he'll kill himself,or become depressed.
HEre's the reasons i want to dump him:
1.) he doesn't tell me anything.
2.)he sometimes avoids me
3.)i don't love him

You need to be honest with him!
You need to tell him this isn't working out and that its not meant to be. The sooner you do this the better because the longer you wait the more you'll hurt him. If you fear for his safety tell an adult or someone at school! Good luck!

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Hi! So I'm a 12 year old girl and I have VERY bad paranoia. Well people say the world is ending on the 21st and I all know you all don't believe it so can you help me believe that it isn't true? Please? I'm about to cry! :(

Relax! The world is not going to end. The media has made it this big thing and nothing is going to happen. Normally I would be scared about it as well but when I was younger "Y2K" was suppose to happen and it never did. Also if you really want to get technical...the Mayans did not include leap years therefore the world was suppose to end 3 years ago.

Live life to the fullest with no worries...because worrying will keep you from living your life!

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I am a female, 13 going on fourteen. It's been about a year since i've seen this kid. He was the only reason I'd look forward to gym. But ... He was a special ed kid, still is. He never talked, hardly said a word to anyone. You'd think he was a fifth grader (then I was in seventh grade) but he was too in seventh grade, and we were the same age. He was small, inaudible, socially awkward, child-like, innocent. I was very attracted to him and because of that, it made me feel like bursting into tears. I know, I know, in a sentimental mood... But I felt like I loved him and now that I left that school (currently homeschooling) I miss him so much and i cant get him off my mind. I utterly regret never speaking to him because, yes what a big surprise, I was really nervous. And yes I'll admit it to the world, I really adore this special kid, and I'm very afraid I will never see him again. I am stuck. What should i do? Thanks.

Well do you have any friends that still go to that school that you talk to? Maybe they could put in a good word for you. It's always nice to have a friend check out the situation and to see whats going on. If not maybe you could stop by the school sometime and if you see him say hi or something. I believe that everything happens for a reason and if you are meant to be with him you will be and if you're not you are meant to be with someone else.

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Im 18,high school graduate and still a virgin. Im in the transition of moving out into a house with my cousin(age 20) his baby mama(19) and their kid(3). My cousins friends starting coming over when I was 17 and 1 of them told everyone i was cute and flirted the other one flirted and we were vibing you could tell he was into me but once i told him i was 17 and he was 19 he stopped and took some steps back. Now Im 18 and ones 21 and the others 20. They come over almost everyother weekend to drink and chill. One weekend i ended up sleeping in the middle of the 20 yr old well call him(dave) and one of the friends hes pretty cute to. Daves head was by my feet(not cute) and so was my head next to his. He began touching my butt trying to move in on me and then he started grabbing my hand under the blankets putting it on his stuff but we werent talking cause his friend was in the bed,(i know not cool).He was trying me to either give him a "Hand" lol or a BJ all night. Well I obviously have feelings for him if i flirt and was willing to touch him. Well the next time I saw him he was trying to get at some girl at a kickback and my cousin well call her (a.t.) told me thats fucked up and hes 20 and Im not his gf so who am I to blame him but I felt bad. So last weekend they came over and (a.t) was gonna drink shes 17 and never had the whole night they were trying to get her to drink more and more and she was buzzed hard and me,some guy(a friend),dave, and (a.t) were laying on the bed in that order and he was hugging her and rubbing her butt. and she told me the next morning I just wanted to be comforted. I know hes probably playing the feild and me being a virgin might be a turn off but I know hes kindof interested but hes a huge flirt and I want to know how i can get closer to him and how i should flirt with him? Also do you think hes into (a.t.) more than me? and why is she doing that when she knows what happened with me and him? Also not to be mean Im honestly prettier and I cant see him with her at all but I think me and him would look really good together,Just saying.

It seems to me like he's playing the field. No I don't know what you want out of this. Do you want him to be your boyfriend or do you jsut want to flirt? Honestly, I don't think you want to get into this guy considering your cousin is into him as well. No guy is ever worth breaking up a family over. It doesn't matter who is prettier or not its not a competition! The feeling I get is you should stay from him he just sounds like bad news. And nothing ever good comes from that.
I guess if you really like him and everything than you can talk to him and maybe flirt with him. If this seems to cause tension with your cousin than don't even bother with that guy. Family comes first!!

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I'm Camilla I'm 21 my boyfriend 21 as well. We been together for a year and 9 months. It's been the same issue he would talk to another girl. Lie say he not in a relationship we would breakup. Get back together talk it out then have good days. Then the issue would just repeat. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me?

Have you talked to him about this? I mean have had a serious conversation and told him how you feel? I would say if he keeps repeating himself than you should break up with him. He's doing things to make you unhappy. When you're with someone you are with only that person no one else. You should be loud and proud about the person your with. To go off and talk to someone else is shady and dishonest. How can you trust someone that is going to be dishonest to you? Good luck!

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ok so im 17/f he is 18/m
When i meet mitch he said he was looking for a relationship, but now im left wondering if he wants a relationship with me.so basically we have gone on 5 date, all went really well. ive already meet his family (mum,dad,sister, aunty uncle and cousins) he says he likes me ect and he seems geuine. but the thing that leaves me wondering is that he is always messaging other girls (generally this wouldnt fase me considering all my friends are guys, but this is different, i just have a gut feeling.) i really like him, but sometimes he bags me out to much beyond a joke, and im no closer to being his girlfriend. suggestions?

I always believe in going with your gut feeling. If there is something telling its wrong then chances are its wrong. Now there are three options; you talk to him and let him know that when he is texting and talking to other girls that it bothers you and maybe this will open up a line of communication. Second you could just except it because you really like him and care a lot about him and let it go. Or last you could leave the relationship if you're not happy and find someone who makes you happy. Good luck!

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I am feeling so lonely , all of my friends are boring and they ignore me for no reason .. i just need to make new friends .....but i just cant find

Well maybe find a group to join or get into something you like to do (sports, dance, arts, etc). By doing something you like to do with others you can connect faster because you have something in common. Maybe find a club to join. Be active and I'm sure you'll find some other friends to hang out with. Good luck!

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I've been talking to a guy for about two months now. He has asked me to hang out 4 times and all four times he has not been able to go. We went to a game together 6 days ago. He had his arm around me and we had a great time. The day before we had made plans to hang out this weekend as well. He didn't call or text me to confirm anything official. The last time we talked is when I texted him and he quickly said he had to go. Ever since the game he has acted differently. Someone told him I liked him and now it's like he has been ignoring me. Should I give up? Maybe I got the wrong idea thinking he liked me or maybe I'm over reacting. What do you think? I don't want to be the first to contact him again because I don't want it to be like before where he said he had to go.

When I was dating I had a rule: "3 strikes and you're OUT". Ever heard the phrase 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me'? I believe that if a guy really wanted to be with you he would make it happen. He would go out of his way to make sure you knew how he felt about you. If this guy has blown you off 4 times than its safe to say he's not interested. That doesn't mean to put yourself down that just shows how much of a coward he is in telling you the truth. I suggest to pick yourself up and move on because this guy doesn't seemed interested.

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See this is a long story. It all started yesterday when one my good friends didn't invite me to her birthday party. I found after over hearing a conversation between 2 others who I talk to. I was really pissed but then I became more pissed when a majority of the school started to block me on instagram and Facebook. Then I got pissed and wrote a status on how selfish people could be which led to my "friend" messaging me saying to couldn't invite me due to my social anxiety disorder.i said I didn't care about the party but I cared how she lied to me. She said she saw the status also her parents and said we can't be close friends anymore. I was very upset and told her how I got too much going on (grandparents dying, dad not being around, being in the closet, etc) she said it wasn't an excuse to b mean to her. The status wasn't targeting her but to everyone in my life. She said she still cares about me but if she cared about me she wouldn't leave me. I have had 2 really close friends of mine leave me too and she was the only one left. It bothers me a lot because I'm not well liked at school. I want school to be fun becaus my home life isn't show great. What should I do I want to say something to her but what do I say

I know this may not be the advice you want but its something that I have learned over the years. It's a pretty crappy thing that she did to you. If she is your friend there should be nothing stopping her from inviting you places or to parties. That's not a real friend right there. A real friend is someone that supports you no matter what and will be there for you no matter what. If someone wants to walk out of your life let them go. When she realizes what she did she'll find out what she's missing and by that time it'll be too late.
Also you should take a lesson from this...maybe it's not best to post anything like that on facebook because sometimes it can get you into trouble. Good luck!

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I've been feeling so down and so lonely for a while. I'm not the kind of girl that likes to express my feelings with people only cause I really don't want to worry them. I'd rather keep everything to myself. I don't think it's working cause it only makes me
feel more and more down each day. at first I started off with feel down, then i started to stay up late thinking, now I just wanna cry at random times of the day but I hold everything in cause I don't want to worry anyone and I cry myself to sleep a lot of the times. it's only gotten worse. I honestly think I should talk to someone but I just can't /.\ whenever I'm around people I always act like I'm alright but when I'm by myself I just cry a little , any advice would be great ? thanks /.\

There comes a time where you have to go talk to someone. I admit I use to be all about keeping it in and not talking to anyone. And then one day I would end up breaking down because I was holding everything in. You should talk to someone...maybe like a therapist or maybe an adult that you trust. It's better to say something than to hurt in silence. You will never find the solution to your problem if you don't ask for help. Good luck and I hope you feel better!

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I have always gone for gamer geeks, ever since I started dating at 18 years old. Right now I am dating a 22, technically 23 year-old man who seems to live an entire lifestyle that is dominated entirely by video games, so much so that it is unhealthy. I see a future with my current boyfriend and I like a lot of other qualities about him, he's committed to having a career in accounting, a field that is constantly growing even in this bad economy; he is extremely supportive, I went through a short period of time where my dad and I were not even talking, when I was going through that negative experience he offered me a shoulder to cry on and assured me that things would get better; I have fun with him when he is not attached to his computer playing the latest video game, he makes me laugh and we have a best friend relationship, as well as having a good romantic relationship; and I feel really good about our relationship. All of his qualities that peeve me about him, and I can tell will cause problems for him stem from the fact that he is addicted to playing video games.

During the summer time when my boyfriend is not in college he has no schedule, I have seen this and his mother has as well. I feel like this is partially because he will spend until 4 to 9:00 in the morning playing video games, which is fine when you are 18 or 19 years old. However my boyfriend is almost out of college, and from there is going to be working a full time job before he knows it. When that happens my boyfriend will be working the typical 9 to 5 work schedule that most Americans work. I have seen him sleep until 5:00 in the afternoon, there is nothing wrong with sleeping in, especially when you are working all day HOWEVER I think that 5 is kind of late to be starting your day off.

Having no schedule also means that my boyfriend always eats right before he goes to bed, which is bad especially when he does not make the healthiest food choices. For example I have seen him eat buffalo chicken wings at 4:45 in the morning, something that has a lot of calories and can also cause stomach problems. Since he eats at all kinds of times, makes unhealthy food choices, and does not burn calories he is 100 pounds overweight.

The fact that he is 100 pounds overweight affects our sex life, not to a point that is completely horrible and we do not have sex but he has NEVER taken his shirt off for me. One of those reasons is that he has always felt like I have a good body, I am 135 pounds and 5'4” (a healthy weight) and he is really negative about his. However the fact that my boyfriend does not take his shirt off means that there is only a point where is willing to get intimate with me, like what is underneath his shirt is a secret that he keeps from his girlfriend of over a year.

Also when you are sitting at your computer all day, you are not burning calories which means that you are only going to pack on more pounds. I am one of those people that is known for spending all day at her computer, and I do not really work out so maybe I should not really be saying anything. However I am worried that if he keeps on living this lifestyle he will die at only 40 years old.

My boyfriend told both his mother and me that he is going to start a drastic diet where he will lose weight, after his 23rd birthday ( his birthday is on the 31st). I am just hoping that he will be able to stick to this diet, because I have seen him go on diet after diet which he never stays on for particularly long.

My boyfriend's gaming addiction also causes problems with our relationship, like when I am spending time with him I feel like he brushes me off for his video games. Maybe he will lay in bed with me for the day, talking to me, and he always tries to schedule dates with me – take me to the movies and out to eat, however most of the time I feel like he is on the computer with his newest video game all the time. I also have discovered that even though he likes sleeping by me, he never goes to bed with me. Even on the nights that we have sex before I go to bed, my boyfriend will tell me that he has to go to bathroom and then he never comes back to bed, and I will find him on the computer.
I feel like it is hard for me to do anything for him, since a lot of time he is a state away from me; but if he continues this lifestyle it is seriously going to negatively impact him. My boyfriend's father was a heroin addict, his father died when my boyfriend was 15 years old after he had only seen him for four times in his life. I know that addiction runs in my boyfriend's family, which is why he has never even experimented with weed, but I feel like instead of heroin, like his father, my boyfriend is addicted to video games.

How exactly do I stop my boyfriend from slowly, unintentionally committing suicide, and negatively impacting his life, including his future?

I totally understand where you are coming from. For video gamers its a release its an escape from reality. It's a place where you are in control in their own virtuality reality. He may have a hard time dealing with whats going on around him and that maybe why he turns towards video games to escape.
Have you ever talked to him about it? Have you ever told him how you feel when he chooses video games over you?
My boyfriend use to be really addicted to his games. My boyfriend and I are extremely close and when something is wrong we say something. I stressed to him about how much it was affecting our time together and how we really need a figure out a solution. I don't blame him for wanting to come home and play a game to relieve stress but my boyfriend at the time was playing until the early morning or all day on his days off. I couldn't take it because it started to affect our time together. I also got into the games a bit to show interest but when I wanted to go somewhere I made it known. My boyfriend loves me and would do anything for me and when I told him to fix his gaming a bit he did. And now he's trying to finish school and trying to start our future together.
Have a serious talk with him and tell him that you mean business. Maybe he can plan or set aside a couple of hours to play a game during the week or what have you. When you come over to the hosue and stay maybe the computer can go off? Communication is key in this situation! Good luck!

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18/f

I am in love with my boyfriend of almost five months. We've done everything but had sex and I do want to lose my virginity to him but I'd like to say I love you first. I don't want to say it first and I don't know if he feels the same way. He is leaving for college in a few days and we agreed to continue dating when we go to college. I've never felt this way about anybody and all I want is for him to say I love you. He acts like he does and treats me so well, plus he's never been committed to a girl the way he is committed to me. I want him to know that I love him but I'm so scared that he doesn't feel the same way. What do I do?

Well everyone is different in relationships. I've had a guy tell me he loves me in a month and I've had another relationship in which the guy told me in three years. I've been on both sides of the spectrum to say the least. Don't rush him into anything. I'm sure he wants to say it but he's nervous or maybe he wants to tell you in a special way. Stick with your beliefs in waiting until you feel like its right. Also if you really love him you could tell him yourself it is the 21st century after all so you don't have to wait for the guy. When my boyfriend and I said it for the first time I was going to say it first and he knew I was going to say it so he stopped me. He told he loved me first and 5 years later we're still crazy about each other. I find the more and more time together the more and more we fall in love with each other. Good luck!

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What are some ways to meet people if you are single and in your 20's? I'm not a huge club type so that's really not an option. I was just wondering if anyone had any pointers on where to look. I don't trust dating sites..

Maybe you could join like a club like a book club. Maybe you could take dancing lessons...join a group in your community. Maybe at a job. I met my boyfriend through one of my close friends. So networking is always good! Good luck!

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20 f
Hey guys so this is probably going to sound really dumb to you guys but I need help. I took 2 years off college because I wanted to save up the money before going. And all of my friends were already going and I basically felt like a bum. Some of my "friends" would make fun of me and stuff so I just told then that I went back to school last semester. That was a big fat lie. I know I shouldn't have lied but I was desperate. El last year I met my current boyfriend by one of my friends. And she told him I was in school and he would always say how much he loved that I worked and did school so I felt horrible. I finally applied and im an upcoming freshman this September. Im really excited! But my boyfriend is done with college and is offering to help me get my classes. He wants my cuny portal password. I trust him we've been dating for over a year now so I know he wants to help. Im just worried that he goes into my account. Im basically asking if he goes into my account can he see that ive never went to any school before? Will he find out ive been lying? If he does what can I say? Please dont say the truth. I am too ashamed and I'll feel so stupid and just bad cause I know I lied and everyone will find out. So thats not what im looking for. Please help I'd grately appreciate it! Thank-you

-kate

Kate,

I'm going to be honest with you but you have lied to someone that you've been with for a year. That's not a good way to start a relationship or to even have trust in a relationship. You need to tell him like NOW! Don't wait another minute because he will find out eventually and that could ruin your whole relationship. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. There is nothing else you can do or say other than to be honest with him! If you don't have trust in a relationship than what do you have? The sooner you tell him the better!

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im a female 18, basically me and my ex ended 2months ago today exact :(
i dont know how to move and get used to the fact of not being with him, we were together around 1 year.
All i do is think of him it annoys me so much..
i know he cares still but he lets his pride take over thats why he dont wanna show any emotions, had to delete him of BBM, facebook and block on twitter :( cause everytime i saw him it reminded me of him..
thing is i'm applying to the same university as he got accepted in this year.. what if i see him again next year? To be honest hes my first real love, never been in love this way never thought a break up will hurt so much it sucks :(

last time we spoke he said 'i know the reason why you deleted me off blackberry messenger, he said it was better we didnt keep in contact so we can move on and forget eachother' :( i didnt reply cause that really hurt.

I feel he hates me , but at the same time theres something in me that says he hasn't moved on..
i know boys are like that they don't ever show emotion . I just simply don't know what to do..

theres guys that ask me out on dates but i just aint ready for dating anyone knew, i thought i started to like someone else but i don't wanna feel guilty and go out with someone just to forget my ex thats really selfish. Hes a great guy and all but i just don't feel that connection between us, were friends but i know he wants more than that, i cant deny that when we don't talk i start to miss him or something , thats weird right?..
Gosh, i start to look back at our old convos and i ask myself where did i go wrong? :(
i don't think im going to be able to date anyone soon , i love my ex an i believe love can over come anything. But im so afraid his feelings will go.

i know he aint moved on cause he really loved me im his first love too.. ah sighhh :(

depressed ... i go out but i just cant seem to enjoy myself anymore
please help :(
thankyou

It's hard to forget your first love. It took me a long time. I remember how the next guy I dated I felt like I couldn't stop comparing him to my ex. Maybe you just need to be single for awhile. And instead of thinking about him think about yourself and what you want. To be honest sitting around thinking about him isn't going to help you get over him it's just going to make matters worse. You deserve to be happy and maybe you don't want to date now but you will eventually. You will find someone and you will always have the memory of your first love. I still have memories of my first love but then I remember how badly he treated me and it reminds me of why we aren't together. I bump into him every now and then and I say to myself 'what was I thinking?'. You will be fine just take care of yourself and try hard not to think about him too much. Good luck!

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