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humorist-workshop
Does he like me or her?
So apparently this guy that I like had a crush on me in the past (and might still? It was recent), but another girl is super forward about her crush on him, like leaning her head on him and stuff, etc. He usually looks pretty awkward but is still good friends with her. Him and I only recently finally started talking and texting each other. She's much more bold than me... it seems like he might be starting to like her. What do i do?? I used to be pretty cold (in order to hide I liked him), and recently started opening up a bit, and he is starting conversations and stuff now a lot more since then. But she is a lot closer to him and I don't know if he still likes/can like me again. Any tips on what to do? :')
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ask him! Whats the worse he could say? No?
You won't know until you ask. And just because this girl is outspoken does not mean a thing. He might be flirting with her to make you jealous..but the best way to find out is to talk with him.
Good luck!
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First of all stop being shy you may be giving up a great man if you want him to notice you then tell him how would he now how you feel if you don't tell him besides little justures. Trust yourself give it a shot
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If you are asking what can you do to ensure he is not interested in her but just in you, well, that is tricky. I Will explain. Lets say two girls who were exactly alike in personality approached him. What will be the determining factor that he is even attracted beyond looks? He could like both, just one or neither. What is this mysterious thing that makes you notice one person over the other? It's called chemistry and I would refer to that as the pheromones we are born with. In the animal kingdom, pheromones are what attract one animal to another for mating purposes. In humans, there haven't been as much studies but because there is a way we pick up on pheremone scents with our nose or more scientifically explained as impulses being sent to the brain from the smell receptors (Olfactory nerves) in the mucous membrane of the nose. So this explains why you can be drawn to someone you have only just glimpsed and know nothing about, and why it is impossible to know if you have a chemistry or pheremone connection with another. To explain how it works, I simply tell others what I have experienced. A kiss from someone I have a strong chemistry with will be wonderful and make my heart and stomach do flips. On the other hand, being kissed by someone I liked as a friend and checking to see if we may have any small amount of chemistry, is more like a gross feeling, like being kissed romantically by your Dad or Grandpa. Just yuck. We have no control over who will have a good reaction to our own pheromone scent. It is something also that we can smell like other scents as it doesn't have a scent detectable by your nose. What all this means to you and this guy and other gal? Well, he may or may not desire her for a girlfriend if he does or does not feel this chemistry with her. YOung men are more into simply experiencing sex if they can and find they don't need to feel chemistry if it iss about lust and not love. Although some aren't attracted/can't perform if there isn't at least a small amount of chemistry.
This means, he has already had plenty chances for this olfactory sense to pick up on her and on your pheromones. That is the first step where a guy is interested but not sure yet if the girl is going to be the best match for him. He needs to spend time with her to see if there is something like friendship besides the romantic feelings. We don't act on every one of the times we feel an attraction because it is not always right to, especially is the person is dating or married. It just means our olfactory senses are working and that our bodies react as our brain starts to produce thoughts about the object of our affection. So just because she is more open in showing him that she is attracted to him, doesn't not necessarily mean he is attracted back. When we start having interest in the opposite sex at or after puberty, we are barely starting to explore relationships and have no idea what works and doesn't. Guys will be shy and often too afraid of rejection to ask out a girl they feel this attraction to. It is much easier if the girl comes after him. However if he doesn't like her as a girlfriend, he will either tell her of quietly go along with it because it would be good experience. He is not dating her yet. So you have a chance. In fact, most dating relationships when in HS, or in our twenties, are still in the learning curve. And when we make mistakes, those relationships crash and burn. You acted cold or indifferent before and I can relate. I did the same because for the most part, I didn't like guys my age, they were too immature so to be safe and not have to guess which ones were mature, I acted in ways to block them all out. Now that you have decided to be friendly, he will have a chance to get to know you. The best way for guys to learn if they like a girl and admire her is to spend time together as friends. If that goes well, at some time in the future you state, "We're doing so well as friends, it makes me wonder how we would do as more than friends. What do you think? If he says its a good idea, then he feels the kind of chemistry needed to be more than friends and that is the only difference between a friend and a life long mate. But both should have friendship although many drop the friendship part and go for guys who treat them like garbage and stay only because of the sex connection. All that may be a ways off for you but I am just explaining how it works.
So you both are talking and texting. If he initiates some calls or conversation, then he is interested in you and you don't have to worry about the other girl. Be yourself and know that the right guy is going to find you adorable and want you for his girlfriend. If he is not attracted that way, then its not because of another female but simply the chemistry is not there. My 2nd husband I picked wisely after learning things the hard way. The first husband had zero pheromone connection and yet we had kids and were married almost 30 years. But that was only because I put up with crap and mistreatment as well. I now have a man whose eyes fill with desire for me, I see that in his eyes, he wants to touch, kiss, be near me. We are best friends as well as lovers and happily married. Because he is a man who feels males responsibilities to women are to uphold and support them in whatever they do, I come first but he is this way with female family members, female friends and my favorite example, the elderly female neighbor whose clothesline broke and lay on the ground and she was draping clothes to dry on racks instead. He noticed the broken clothesline and offered to put it up again for her. Thats what I am talking about, not doing special things to get in a females pants, just being helpful and caring as one would a friend. It is hard to find a young man who knows what he wants in a gal early on. Many don't figure it out til late 20s or into their 30s.
So in the meanwhile, enjoy yourself, smile, greet males by name, the ones you are attracted to, have actual face to face conversations with. Don't let texting be your only mode of contact. It is much harder for a guy to fall for a girl when it is not a flowing conversation and you get the bits and pieces as the person is around to hear a text came in. You also miss body language, facial expressions and hearing each others laugh. LOL does not come anywhere near as great as the feeling a male has when he said something that a female laughed at or like for myself when I have said something funny that either put a grin on husbands face or better, his deep wholehearted laugh or chuckle. Hearing laughter from the person you are crazy about is like an aphrodisiac, and makes me adore, desire and enjoy even just the friendship part of our relationship. So being friendly, talk to the guy. Guys are visually attracted to females and often will go first to what stands out. But do not worry dear if you don't look like a model but the girl next door instead. In university studies and tests done on a group of volunteer men and woman, they were observed when they did not know that the waiting room they were in til called, was the actual test. Scientists wants to see what men were actually attracted to. Participants were carefully chosen so the beautiful model type females were drama queens but insecure and the average to plain looking women were very self confident. They observed men intially seeking out the prettier women, but they didn't stay long and gravitated to the women with self confidence because to males, that is like the moth being attracted to the flame. Self confidence is the best thing you can wear. If a guy you catch ends up trying to tear up your self confidence and treats you crappy, he is the wrong guy. Don't be so desperate to have a boyfriend that you will put up with crap. In a way, females who are desperate and will put up with anything, are actually training males to be asses because there is never any repercussions for acting mean towards females. You would think the odds are against you with there being more females usually than males. Then figure out of the male population, only a small percent are single as in not married or in a life long relationship, and the rest have only a small percent again of men who are good guys who are not afraid of falling in love and treating his girl like a Queen, princess, or a treasure. Then there are the few good men always wondering why all the women they run into are poor excuses for a female, bitchy, mean, drama queens, into themselves and only want a man like a new accessory...like a purse, shoes, earrings, to only look better to others because she has a guy holding her hand. I have heard from men of all ages that they wish there were more level headed, self assured, understanding and loving women out there. Start practicing now dear and in a few years as guys grow older and more mature, or maybe right away, someone will notice you and males will start to talk to you and want to date, to kiss, etc. But make sure you are getting the good guy, not the player. The player will say and do anything to make you think he's really into you as a whole when he is only attracted to the outside of you. Just because a guy wants to kiss and more does not mean he is looking out for your best interests, is in love with you. Look first for if he is wanting to be a great friend to you and if hie is consistant in his good traits. If a guy veers from a good trait to sometimes do something bad like yell at you or demeaning stuff then apologize but he does it again in the future, then he is no good and not worth your time. This should help you with the current guy and the many others you may date in the future.
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