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What I could do now
Have had this friend name Robert that has been through high school with me all the way and has stuck by my side through my highest and lowest points and has prevented many incidents where I could have been in serious trouble and he clearly stated to me and others that he never gave up on me or left because he believes in me and knows that I have potential and both of us are seniors in our school's band program. Some stuff happened yesterday and I got him called into a room with a school staff member and we talked through my concerns and he clearly stated to me that he wasn't mad at me and that I he and I were still friends and there was never a time when we weren't friends but he asked me bluntly with no exceptions what he could to to keep anything from happening wrong between us again and I just don't know how I can keep things going strong for the rest of our senior year.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hon, it may be something as simple as not understanding some things when he says them and then your double guessing what it meant. It sure doesnt sound like he is purposely trying to argue, fight or hurt your feelings in any way.
If you two are the closest of friends, then I hope you don't believe that you will never have any misunderstandings or disagreements, because even the closest of friends, the deepest in love, etc....all have these things happen at times. Its how we handle and work through any disagreements or anger that really count.
Some people just 'react' vs. 'respond'. A reaction is a knee-jerk response usually to a word or act that remind you of an unpleasant thing in your past so that you are literally acting your original ways to the previous situation, the same way with this person. A response is more of taking your time to cool down your emotions before responding to someone elses, and learning how to place yourself (imagination wise) into the other persons shoes so to speak, to try to figure how that person may be feeling and what may have prompted the words or actions that you may have taken the wrong way. I am not saying that you are kicking up trouble, just that I have come across Many people in my life who took even my innocent words the wrong way. I suppose its a mix of my womens intuition, plus not taking anything too personally, just taking deep breaths and not opening my mouth until I have something informative or constructive to say when I am agitated at someone.
There really is no other special plan to avoid these things happening and I look at it like this, it gives me the opportunity to practice forgiveness and move on in case some issues or problems arise. So the way you keep your friendship going is simply to do what you
have always done to enjoy your friendship but both of you work to become a better person than you were the day before. Keep that mindset and you will find the best ways possible to work thru anything with your friend.
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It sounds like you're putting way to much pressure on the friendship. Just be. I know it sounds odd to say that but it's true. You can be there for one another you don't need to make out this massive plan. Just relax and know that he has your back and you have his. You on the other hand need to stay out of trouble whatever that may be. Good Luck!
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