about

I've been away for a while due to a serious illness and subsequent health issues.


Favourite quotes of the moment:




The children of Israel wandered the desert for 40 years - Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions!




Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. whatever we do to the thread, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. - Chief Seattle.





We spend the first 12 months of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up!




As you slide down the bannisters of life, may the splinters never be pointing the wrong way.




May you be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.




I've been very happily married since August 1980 to a wonderful man and have beautiful twin girls, now aged 29. Both are married to wonderful young men. I studied geology with the Open University. I am retired from being a manager in a large UK based insurance company where I actually quite enjoyed it. (How sad is that?). I love anything to do with the environment and wildlife and try to do my bit for preservation and conservation. I would like there to be a decent world for our grandchildren to inherit. I also have CFS so find life a bit of a challenge at times but always hope for better health in the future.



I have a deep interest in the spiritual and the paranormal worlds, having experienced several incidents myself, and have been involved in meditation groups and groups that (safely) explore the paranormal. There is more to this life than we would normally credit, so an open mind is always the best option. You're not so likely to get caught by surprise!



I have a deep fascination for anything to do with Ancient Egypt, as you can probably tell by my name. I have statues and paintings all around the house. As my hubby has a similar interest in Native Americans, we tend to have a lot of unusual wall decorations, like a tomahawk.



I love cars, especially vintage ones, but my all time favourite has to be the Bugatti Veyron, what a car!



I have had a lot to do with animals over the years. I have fostered many, helped to set up a wildlife charitable hospital and raised a diverse range of young animals from bats to fox cubs and different species of birds, even a baby deer! I have had great pleasure in sharing my life and home with a number of animals over the years, most of them rescues. I am currently sponsoring an Amur Tiger, they are such beautiful cats and desperately need help, there are so few of them left. I was lucky enough a couple of years ago to meet some Aye-Aye's and Livingstone's Bats, a truly wonderful experience. We now have three cats, Oliver and Mollie, a brother and sister, he's a ginger and she's a tortoiseshell and a black and white called Daisy. She arrived in a taxi and was left on our doorstep in a cat carrier with the message that 'they knew we loved cats and would be good to her'. She has settled down well and gets on wonderfully with the other two.



If you have a pet that is showing ANY signs of illness or distress, please, please, please take it to a vet! Even if finance is an issue, work that out later. It is cruel to leave an animal suffering for any reason. Most animals do not show signs of illness until they have been ill for some time, basic instinct tells them it is a display of vulnerability, and certain death in the wild. Their instincts have not caught up with domesticity.




I do feel that we should all treat others as we would wish to be treated. Bad karma comes back to haunt us.

advice

I raped someone I want to turn myself in immediately. Tell me what I need to do. I need to be punished. I will not say how it happen and why. I can't make up any excuses. I was drunk but it doesn't change anything. The person who was hurt doesn't want to do anything and prefers to just forget and move on, but I can't . I need to be punished and I want to turn myself in. The person wouldn't have to worry about trial or publicity. I just need to know what I have to prepare for.

You know you've done a terrible thing, something that will haunt that person for the rest of their life so turning yourself in is the only decent thing you can now do.

You will be taken to a room where you will have to make a statement, they will probably need forensic evidence so if you still have the clothes you were wearing and they've not been washed, the police will probably want to take them. They may take swabs for DNA. They will decide if you can be released on bail or kept in custody, this depends on where you are, the circumstances and how this crime is viewed. The victim will be contacted (if they've not already changed their mind and reported it) and the same process will apply to them.

A lot of rape victims do not report it immediately, the shock and horror of what has happened is too huge for them to process at the time, so they try to put it behind them and forget it. That doesn't usually work, it changes them and eventually they have to deal with it. Therefore it is far better for you to admit to it yourself now, it will go better for you both if you do.

There will be a court trial and there's a good chance that they will be required to appear as well, again, it depends on where you are, their age and circumstances. If the charge is undisputed by you they may not have to attend court. I cannot say what the sentence will be, it also would take into account if there was any other violence involved, but you are probably looking at a custodial sentence and becoming a registered sex offender.

Being drunk is absolutely no excuse at all, it is a despicable act. I hope you do now have the courage to go to the police and confess. As much as it will stay with your victim it will stay with you as well and you will never be the same again.

Do the right thing, now.

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My husband and I's one year anniversary is coming up in a few months, and so is a very close friend's wedding, her wedding date: our one year anniversary. I'm at a loss of what to do. My husband wouldn't be able to come with me to her wedding, and my friend would be extremely hurt if I didn't go. What makes the situation awkward is I knew when picking my wedding date that my friend would be getting married that same day. I had no choice however (my husband is military). I reassured and promised her since she got engaged that I would be there at her wedding. In fact, as soon as I got the wedding invite, I texted her and let her know I would be there and how excited I was. My husband always knew I'd be going, but I guess it just clicked for him I'd be missing or first anniversary. He's very upset, anniversaries are very important to him. I tried reasoning with him that we could celebrate another day, but he's not having it. What do I do? I will always pick my husband over anything, but shouldn't he be more understanding? Should I be present for the most important day of my close friend's life and hurt my husband? Or be there with my husband for our one year anniversary and risk losing my friend? (And I have very few true good friends)

That is one tricky situation you've created for yourself and you knew it was going to happen when you chose your date, regardless of the reasons!

Because of this and because you promised you would not let this stop you attending your friend's wedding I can see no option but for you to go. She (hopefully) will have only the one wedding day and you (hopefully) will have many, many more anniversaries. Yes, this is the first and your husband is understandably upset, who wouldn't be? However, he also he knew you had promised to be there. You're just going to have to make it up to him some other way. Maybe a mini break just before the anniversary or just after or going out for dinner, with you picking up the bill, or anything else that will appease your husband.

Talk to him and ask him what would put this right and what he would prefer to do as an anniversary treat. As I said, if he knew all along about the clash of dates and your promise it can't have come as a big surprise, so you'll have to come to a compromise over this. That's a part of marriage, compromise, so it's a good time to start.

Good luck.

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I have two teenage daughters who have been blessed with musical talent and beautiful singing voices.There is a talent show at our county fair every year and they want to participate. I am almost certain one of them would win or place as a runner up. Therein lies the problem! They have a close loving relationship but they are extremely competitive with each other when it comes to music. So far I have never allowed them to compete against each other because I am afraid this could create a permanent rift between them. I have tried to encourage them to sing together as a duet but they refuse. Should I allow them to compete individually and possibly damage their relationship for life?

I can fully understand your dilemma as I am the mother of competitive twin girls. There is no easy answer to the problem though. You don't say how old they are so I don't know if hormones are playing any part in the difficulties at the moment.

At some point they are going to need to learn how to deal with their own feelings and their ongoing competition with each other. They have to start making their own decisions and accepting the consequences, whether it's refusing to sing together or anything else. You're not going to be able to shield them from it for ever and it's going to run you ragged trying. They're also going to come across others better or worse than them so they really do need to learn how to accept and respect the success of others, whether it's their own sister or not. Better to learn now while you still have some input in their lives.

If they both want to compete but individually, you could try talking to them, telling them about your concerns and asking them what they feel would be the best solution. You could also add that whilst one might beat the other on this occasion, it might not be the case the next time. At least that way they will have taken control of the situation and decided for themselves what to do.

I wish you the best of luck, it's not an easy one!

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can kissing and fingering causes late periods

Absolutely not! Things that affect your periods are excessive dieting or being overweight, stress, pregnancy, some illnesses, changes in medications, even changes in your schedule. You should also check you've just not miscalculated. It happens more often than you'd think. Please see a doctor if there is any cause for concern.

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My father-in-law wants to parole out of the pen to me and my husband. I want to know what the risks are for us? If he gets in trouble, do we get in trouble as well...? (We have two young kids by the way that I don't want to be in the middle of it) We don't want to take the risk of him paroling out to us if we have to jeopardize our children as well....

The answer has to depend entirely on the reason he's in there to start with and how comfortable you feel about having him in your home. Does he have a history of imprisonment or illegal activities? Have they ever caused harm to someone? Is there a chance he could adversely influence your kids? Would the conditions of his parole impact your family? The last one is something you would need to ask his parole officer, the other questions only you would know the answers to.

I understand that he's family and you could be feeling a sense of duty towards him because of this but you have to put yourselves and your children first. If what he did was a one off incident and it's extremely unlikely to be repeated you might decide that it's safe to go ahead, especially if it's for a short period. However, no one can really make up your minds for you as you're the ones who have to live with your decision. Think carefully, ask all the questions you need to, even make a list of them so that you don't forget anything when you talk to someone about it, then base your decision on the information you have and your gut feeling about it. It's not an easy one, I wish you good luck.

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My brother told me about water poisoning. I drink a LOT of water a day, a lot that it's probably unhealthy, and now I'm kind of worried. I'm pretty sure I drink more than 8 cups a day.

I'm going to start measuring 8 cups a day of water since that's how much I should have a day, but do I have water poisoning? How do I know if I have it? I googled it and read that it IS indeed true; It wasn't him trying to scare me.

It is possible to drink too much water but it isn't easy. The problem is not so much with the water but the imbalance it causes between fluids and electrolytes in your body. This then can cause other problems which could occasionally lead to death. However, and I stress this, it is VERY rare for this to happen, it certainly wouldn't by drinking that much, in fact it's good to keep hydrated. A simple test you can do to see if you're dehydrated is to pinch the skin on the back of your hand. If it goes back down straight away you're sufficiently hydrated. If it stays raised up for any length of time you need to drink some fluids.

So basically, I rather think your brother was trying to wind you up. You would have to drink an enormous quantity of water to harm yourself and you'd probably start feeling bloated before you got that far. Having said that, there are some illegal drugs, Ecstasy for example, which have been known to cause excessive thirst making the person drink too much, leading to severe health problems.

You carry on drinking the amount you usually do and I'm sure you're going to be just fine. Keep in mind that brothers do like to tease. :)

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I don't really think that my issue qualifies as an eating disorder which is why I feel like I can get advice from here, before immediately rushing to the doctor's office. Anyway, I've been stuck in this horrible cycle of starving my self and then binging, starving myself and then binging, over and over and over. It goes like this: I'll starve myself starting whenever I wake up and then around four o'clock I'll allow myself plain toast and water or an apple or something small like that. But then dinner time will come and I'll have to sit and eat with the family. The problem is when u start eating, I can't stop. For example, the other night my mom made mashed potatoes, meatloaf, gravy, corn, and carrots. I don't eat meatloaf but I went CRAZY with everything else. I had 2 large helpings of potatoes, a whole bunch of corn, and then later in the night I had a bunch of snacks at 3:00 am. Sometimes I won't binge at the end of the day though, I'll just starve all day or binge all day. I'm trying to lose weight (which my doctor said I need to do to be healthy) but this isn't the healthy way to do it. I can't seem fibre am this cycle though, how can I do it????

It sounds like you're heading down an eating disorder route possibly BED (Binge Eating Disorder) which isn't good! It most definitely counts as serious. I suggest you do rush to the doctor and get some help before it gets any worse. Continuing this behaviour is likely to ruin your long term health. You might be able to think of a trigger that started this cycle of starve/binge but sometimes it isn't that obvious. One thing is clear, you need a medical, help and dietary advice asap before this gets completely out of control. Don't worry about going to the doctor, you won't be the first person they have helped with this.

Good luck

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Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg

I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.

I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me.

You look ok actually so maybe the people you're asking are making fun of you because they're embarrassed you are asking and don't know how to handle it sensibly. You're not ugly though, get that straight in your head right now!

You've a slightly longer face than wide so maybe the added height of that hairstyle is emphasizing it. You could look at a hairstyle which is flatter at the top to bring out other features. A hairstylist should be able to show you various styles that would suit your face shape. Good luck.

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My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).

Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.

I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).

My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.

She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.

My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).

Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).

So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own.

Firstly, the financial situation you're in. I'm not from the US so I'm not sure how your welfare system works but are you able to find out if there are any benefits/help you would be entitled to if you find yourself on your own. Research all possibilities that do not involve you borrowing money as that is going to make things worse for you. I'm sure there must be some sort of assistance available to keep you off the streets.

Secondly, your family. Your mother does seem to have some quite serious issues going on there and she's dragging you and your sister into them. She sounds rather bitter about life so I'm guessing she's feeling very let down by it and is taking out her internal rage on you both. However, you do need to understand that regardless of what life throws at us it is up to us how we deal with it. Your mother and sister are not dealing with it in a positive way but you sound as though you're smart, tough and resourceful. I think you really can make it on your own and do well. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but I think you're up to the challenge. It actually sounds as though taking some time away from both of them will do you the world of good, enabling you to build up your battered self esteem and show yourself and everyone else just what you're made of. Bear in mind that there are people who make themselves feel better by making those around them feel worse about themselves, you do not need that negativity.

It has to be your decision as it's your life, no one should be telling you how to live it so decide what it is that you want and go for it. In time you'll meet people who will appreciate you for who you are rather than knocking you all the time. The same goes for your mother and sister, it's their lives and they have to make their own decisions, good or bad, but you don't have to be involved in it.

Before you do anything though, find out what help you can get and then make your choice. I wish you the best of luck.

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Me and my younger sister are always fighting. Sometimes it is jut verbal but other times it get physical. My mum says that we don't even act like we are sister because we are constantly bickering.

My question is
How do I get my sister to stop making us argue?

You don't say how old you both are or how much of an age gap there is. However, in my experience it is actually quite unusual for siblings to not fight. We tend to take out our frustrations more on family as we know that it is 'safer' to do so as they are less likely than friends to sever all connections with us. It could be that you are both so different you don't even think in the same way and so can't find a way to connect except by fighting.

You need to take note of what type of things are the most common cause for your arguments and how it makes you both feel. If you can understand what your triggers are you might start to recognise when something is about to get out of control and stop it before it gets that far. You could both maybe think of a word (not rude) that you can say to each other when you notice this happening, like a time out.

The other thing you need to look at is your question. You want to know how to stop your sister making you argue. It takes two to argue so if you don't respond and just walk away, there is no one left for her to argue with. Unless, of course, you're doing something that is deliberating provoking her?

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How long will my cat stay in season?

Non-spayed females usually go into oestrus twice a year, in the Spring and the Autumn. During this time they can go into heat several times, lasting between three and fourteen days with around a week being the most common. She will continue this until she is either spayed or mated successfully. The healthier and most sensible option is to have her spayed. :)

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my cat has never used a litter box she has a cat door and has always done her business outside for the past week we have smelled an odor in the house
found it under my husbands desk had to cut the carpet and pad out. she must be pooping outside havent found any inside. shes about 12 years old. whats wrong with her

There could be a few reasons for her change in behaviour. She could have been scared whilst toileting outside and now associates that fright with what she was doing and where. Another cat could even have come in through the cat door and scared her.

Something could have changed in the home that has made her feel insecure, so marking her territory is her way of trying to make herself feel better by changing the smell. It could be new furniture, carpets, people or even an emotional upset.

She could have a UTI. This should be obvious as she would be squatting a lot trying to go with little success. She could be more vocal, restless, licking the area almost constantly etc. If she is doing this, she'll need to see a vet and have antibiotics to clear it up, otherwise she could get very ill. She could even have kidney problems, so seeing a vet would be the sensible thing to do at this point. If she gets a clean bill of health you can look at the other options and the vet may be able to give some guidance.

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How long will my cat stay in season?

Estrus (heat) can last 7-10 days, if she does not become pregnant this will be repeated around every 14-21 days until she does become pregnant. If your cat has already entered this stage you will be fully aware of some of the more unpleasant symptoms. The best way to stop this is to have her spayed as soon as possible. Not only does this mean there will be less unwanted cats around, it stops her being vulnerable to various cancers and transmitted diseases. For every kitten your cat has and you home to friends or family, it's one less in a shelter that will find a loving home. There are a huge number of unwanted cats these days.

She can be spayed whilst in estrus although most vets prefer to catch them between cycles. You may also find that you have 'gentlemen callers' who could spray around your house to stake their claim. Until she is spayed there will be little respite from the symptoms and if you do allow her to have kittens, she can go into estrus whilst she is still nursing, starting the whole thing again.

You really will be doing her a favour by having her spayed and it's the responsible thing to do.

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Hey, I saw your entry about finding a list of Inuit Names. Will you post the location?

It was a long time ago and I can't find the link now. However, if you are looking for an Inuit name there are lots on the internet. So, here are some more. The first link is for the correct pronunciation of Inuit names.

http://www.mythome.org/inuitnames.html



http://www.lowchensaustralia.com/names/eskimonames.htm

http://omalmalamutes.com/omal/naming.htm (This one even has a translator that will tell you the Inuit name, where possible, for a name you may already know).

http://www.squidoo.com/eskimo-husky-names

I hope this helps.

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My brothers dog lost all of its hair?
My brother took my dog to the vet and the doctor told my brother that the dog has a skin disease that it was born with. The dogs hair is gone now and she has a lot of bumps and sores from scratching. Her skin is just pink. My brother has been buying medicine that the vet recommended for him to buy at the store and it finally started working and her skin has improved a lot and my mom thinks the hair is growing back.
My brother wants to take the dog to the pound now, but wont the people at the pound kill it?
I hear stories all the time of them killing dogs.

What kind of disease do you think the dog has?

The dog does NOT have cancer. If it did the vet would have said at the time. It is more likely to be some form of birth defect e.g. congenital hypotrichosis. The medicine the vet advised is possibly hormonal or some other substance to either treat or ease the symptoms. The hair does not always grow back, it depends on the severity of the condition. There are other reasons for hair loss, stress, allergies (food included), fleas, as well as various skin conditions of which congenital hypotrichosis is just one. The vet would be the best person to ask for the diagnosis as he was the one who saw the dog.

If your brother wants to take her to the pound just because of this unfortunate condition, would it be possible for you to take her over or to find someone responsible who can? Some pounds have a no kill policy but sadly, a lot of them do not.

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About 2 weeks ago, I had surgery on my bum. It's all stitched up and I'm on antibiotics.

My mom however, was sick with a virus or something like a cold a couple days ago.

I was fine this morning but like all of a sudden I feel nauseus. I made some toast which always helps when my stomach is upset. But I can't eat it. I feel like if I eat it, I'll get sick.

I started thinking, wait I'm on Cipro antibiotics so technically I shouldn't really be sick. I've been on Cipro before and never had a problem. I already have an appointment to get my stitches out on Tuesday.

Could it be I caught the cold or whatever my mom had or could it be the anitbiotics making me sick? I'm puzzled, if I still feel sick by the time my next dose. I'm going to stop taking them.

Don't stop taking the antibiotics, you're on them for a very good reason. Call your doctor for advice, explaining what has happened.
Good luck

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Hey everyone! I have a beautiful black short haired cat who's turning 3 in two weeks. She's very happy, very healthy, very loved, and I brush her fur almost daily, and pet and scritch and cuddle her, like, constantly. She's kind of really spoiled...but it's just me and her here, so we're both okay with that. ^_^
Anyway.
As the subject says, she keeps getting these flakes of dry skin all over her back, like a human with dandruff. Her hair is slightly coarser there. The rest of her is, like, ridiculously soft (hence all the cuddling). I have eczema, so my brain automatically goes, "Is there some kind of cat-zema?"
...
Is there?
Has anyone else's cat has this problem? How did you treat/fix the flakiness?

Daniel55 is quite right about this, the only thing I would add is that it could also be due to a food intolerance. Beef and chicken are the main culprits but you would need to experiment by cutting out one thing for several weeks and if it's not that, going on to the next thing. You can also buy hypoallergenic foods to try.

You can check for fleas by using a flea comb and having a damp piece of kitchen roll to hand. Comb the cat and then wipe the comb on the damp paper. If any spots of red develop, she has fleas as that's flea dirt. If you notice any 'salt and pepper' droppings the 'pepper' is the flea droppings and the 'salt' is the flea eggs. When the flea eggs hatch they eat the droppings, gross isn't it? If you find evidence of this you will need to treat the whole house as they get everywhere, along the edges of skirting boards and carpet, in the soft furnishings. They're born survivors and getting more so every year.

Good luck

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I have 3 two week old kittens, and they are molting alot, so much they are going bald. :( I've had kittens this young before, and they never losed their fur. Their mum sadly died when they were one week old, so we've been feeding them special milk that we got from the pet store? Would this cause them to lose fur? If not, any idead what is? Thanks

It could be stress from losing their mother, you need to take them to the vet's and get them checked out properly. You don't say what caused the mother to die but if it was from infection etc she could have passed it on to the kittens. In either case they need to see a vet.

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My cat just had kittens, they're about a week old now. I have them in this big cage with a bunch of towels and its covered so it's dark inside. Mama kitty had been ok with it until the last two nights, i keep waking up and she's under my bed with her kittens. Why is she moving them? I don't want her to move them to somewhere i cant find them, what do I do?

A cat's natural instincts is to move her kittens around to keep them safe from predators. As this is a primeval instinct there really isn't anything you can do about it except ensure that wherever she takes them is safe. If there is a chance she could take them somewhere you won't find them, keep the door shut when you're not around or asleep and try to provide some additional 'bolt holes' in your room. When their eyes open and they start moving around independently it won't be such a problem, well not for you. It will drive her mad keeping track of them but she'll cope with that.

Good luck

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my dog is still peeing on my carpet how do i discipline him

Never, ever rub a dog's nose in it's pee! It won't work as it will not associate your actions with what it's done. All you're likely to achieve is to make it scared of you.

You don't say how old the dog is, so if it's a puppy it needs training, if it's an older dog it needs retraining. An older dog will quite often do this if it's been upset and feels the need to mark it's territory. It may be worth taking him to the vets just to check out that there's nothing wrong, something like cystitis can cause this, even males can get this.

Take the dog outside regularly so his 'tank' is emptied often. Praise him every time he does his business outside. Clean the carpet with either a preparation bought from a pet store or you could try undiluted white vinegar, bicarbonate of soda or a clear alcohol. Blot up the excess first and as fast as you can after the 'accident'. If your dog keeps returning to the same place to pee, after cleaning it, put something in way whilst it dries, then either put a bowl of dog food there, (they don't like eating in a toilet any more than we do), or spray the area with citronella. They hate the smell.

Remember to always treat an animal as you would like to be treated. Good luck.

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