|
Why do white cisgender heterosexual rich males say they feel opressed?
I'm a white cisgender homosexual female. White racism isn't real, cisphobia isn't real, misandry isn't real, and heterophobia isn't real. Were white people enslaved and segregated for decades and still get killed in hate crimes? Nope. Do cisgenders get an increased risk of being bullied, suicidal, or killed? Nope. Did heterosexuals get burned and prevented from being married and have people insult them for holding hands in public, or people call things they don't like "straight"? Nope. Do rich people starve on the streets and have no clothes or water and need to work their ass off? Nope. Did males ever get sold into sexual slavery, rights taken away, pushed from science careers? Nope. It makes no sense to me these people who had everything handed to them on a golden platter with a silver spoon in their mouth already with a head start in life feel opressed. Why?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Honestly, idk. Some people feel the need to draw attention to themselves. They feel the need to place themselves in situations they dont understand. Its a sad situation, unfortunately there are people like that in the world.
]
To make a long story short... they don't realize the value of what they have or know how to appreciate it. When your beginning in life is less ideal or comfortable you understand and appreciate such things... whereas someone who has it handed to them will only expect more.
]
No one really knows why people feel the way they feel, most common belief is that at some point males wheather black or white were imprissoned and exposed to hmosexuality which spread throughout the world years after years.
but in my opinion white cisgenders always find some reason to get over or make someone else feel less. i hope that answers your questions.
]
Sorry it took so long to answer you back but the answer is clearly that it doesn't matter if you're given everything you ever wanted in life because when you actually work hard and earn something on your own you get much more satisfaction out of it and people like that are so used to things being handed to them that they take it for granted so that's why they feel oppressed.
]
Im not sure what the REAL question is here because you started off with just ranting at me about what YOU think you see and not what OTHERS have actually experienced.
I cant break down and address every. single. aspect of what your saying here because it would take forever and frankly, i dont have time for that, im white and i dont think any of the things your talking about here. I certainly didnt have the best childhood, and i know plenty of others who didnt either, i dont have any phobias like what you mention here.
Also just because your white doesnt mean your born into the best family or born with ANY type of "spoon in your mouth". so thats false. Its teachings from older people that effect what your talking about, and yes because people are naturally designed to sometimes be afraid of what they know nothing about, i think thats only natural for the mind to create things and then turn them into "worse case scenarios" ALOT of humans do that, and its not always something they can control. YOU sound like the bigot here if anything else because of the way you choose to view the world. I dont know if its based on things youve heard and seen but you seem smart enough to know that you shouldnt believe everything you see and hear. question everything. dont be a sheep.
]
Because humans are always going to find ways to be victims. Nobody is perfect and everybody has something about themselves they feel has been discriminated against. There are people who'd say you are not oppressed because you are white. There are people who are going to say that a black heterosexual male has it better than a white female because he is a man. There are tons of ways for people to be victims and have privilege at the same time. Politically speaking there are people who have it better than others in the world, but as individuals we are all born with different circumstances and must make the most of what we have.
]
It's the use of the word "privileged" that does it. If you tell a person they are privileged, they immediately start to think of all the shit that is wrong in their life. Some people have trouble separating that from their advantages. For example, you are privileged due to being white and cisgendered. This does not negate the persecution you face due to being a homosexual female. It means you have advantages some people don't. I'm a white, cisgendered, heterosexual male. But I'm poor. I have lots of advantages others don't, but I still have not led a happy life. I am able to understand that I have advantages others don't. Being a straight white male is not having everything handed on a golden platter with a silver spoon. It's playing life on easy mode. Some people will still lose the game on easy mode, and some people will win on hard mode. That's the other thing some people have a hard time grasping: averages. They'll point out single examples of successful people who fit various disadvantaged categories, or unsuccessful people who have all the advantages and think it proves them right.
Here is a fun article that gets better into how to talk to people about privilege: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
]
A major thing for, I believe, everyone, is taking things for granted. No matter what anyone says, we all do it at least a little bit sometimes. Doesn't matter who you are, or what it is, it happens. It especially happens to people with more privilege. They severely take what they have for granted, and unfortunately, don't always use their privilege to good causes. (I.E giving money to charity, etc.) The fact of the matter is for a lot of these types of people, is they don't really care, either. As long as they have security, that's all that matters. Now this isn't always the case. Some cisgender, heterosexual, white, men work their whole lives through sweat and tears to get what they have now, and whether they use their current privilege for good or not, depends on the person. I think it's also important to remember that we shouldn't scoff at some people's situations or feelings towards their situations just because we have, or know someone who has, worse circumstances. But I think the root of their feelings of oppression is not knowing what they have, honestly, and perhaps not caring.
Hope this helps~
]
Want a hint? Whether you're the core of racism, or if you're the most dominant being on the planet, you'll still find a way to feel as if you're discriminated. Believe it or not, even though a person's white, cisgender, heterosexual, rich, and is a male, he'd still feel discriminated, because discrimination is relative ;)
]
It doesn't apply generally to just those men,but for most. I could very well say we will hardly achieve equality,but oppression is common in any setting. You can never really know what is someone's story. Wealth doesn't mean happiness. Don't be so quick to judge.
Best wishes,
Luchia94
]
I'm not quite sure what advice you're looking for here, if any. Prejudice is a sad fact of human history and although it is not as bad as it was, it is still there.
If you want some advice can you please be clearer about your request?
Thank you
]
Thank you for your question!
However, I cannot speak on someone's behalf. I am not a cisgender heterosexual rich male, and I don't know why they act the way you described. However, if we all just start to treat everyone like people, regardless of race or background, this world would be a better place.
I really wasn't clear on what you needed advice on, but feel free to message me any further questions!
]
You do realize that individuals who start out well off may not end up that way. Every individual has their own battles they need to face and regardless of where they came from or what identity they have, they have problems. They may not be the same level as others, but they are real. Someone who is rich may be getting abused, you do not know what kind of life they live. Someone who is completely poor may give everything they have to their children so they can survive, so being poor is a choice. You have the government that gives away money to the less fortunate while middle class struggles. A woman who just had a baby may seem like she has everything, the perfect husband, the family, the money, but she is fighting post partum. My father is Native American and we have never had to deal with racisim or prejudice, but we still have our own problems. You can't judge a book by its cover, you actually have to read it in order to understand it.
]
Great question. I think it's all about mindset, and your gratitude for the things you do have. To a person who has pretty much everything handed to them, they don't know what's it's truly like to struggle or have to push and work despite people telling them they're not good enough. I know it's stupid and there definitely needs to be change. People who really are being bullied for who they are, or are rejected just because of the color of their skin need to be in the spotlight for once. But with selfish, greedy, powerful people, it's hard to do that. All I know is, is that we should make sure that we are doing well and once we have ourselves taken care of, we should do something to help those who don't have a voice or are being ignored by society. I agree with you 100% and see that it really is a problem. Hope we can all do our part to help those who need it, and get those who have everything to see that it's not all about them. Thanks for the question!
]
Dear why do?:
I'm so awfully sorry that it's taken so long for me to answer your question. My wife is in the hospital.
I'm glad that you wrote and I hope that this catharsis has helped you. I sense that you may have been in tears with frustration as you wrote it.
I suppose that I represent an example of of a white cisgender, rich heterosexual male, so, I hope I'm qualified in your eyes to present what I believe is a generic answer to your question.
In general, we don't have even a basic understanding of the issues you write about. So, education is the solution. However, there are a good number of us, who are are a part of the solution. Bernie Sanders and Bill Clinton come to mind and there are others, with more joining ranks daily.
You and others in the category you write of, represent a drastically different new age, where values are so radically different, that many view the issue in terms of being bad or evil, instead of just what is. The worst of it occurs when individuals are maltreated merely for being themselves.
The best way to present the issues is by personal example, demonstrating understanding when in the company of those who lack it. You definitely must have a willingness to enter into dialogue in a rational and unemotional manner, presenting facts in the face of prejudice while maintaining a calm and pleasant demeanor.
I'm again sorry. While there's much more I'd like to write, I must leave you now. If you wish to continue this discussion, please do so by marking your reply to the personal attention of: Grandfather.
]
I have no idea. Some people just choose to think a certain way and they don't want to change their mind even with all the facts lain out in front of them. Like the common phrase: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink" You can want them to change all they want but if they don't want to, there's nothing you can do
]
They feel oppressed in that they have to examine their worldview and challenge their assumptions of implicit superiority. That's a threat to the validity of inhabiting a very comfortable place in the world, at the top.
To "check his privilege" is uncomfortable because it makes him realize he didn't earn or deserve everything he has and that those who are actually oppressed didn't deserve what happened to them puts him in the position of the villain, the oppressor instead of the hero, which causes incredible cognitive dissonance. It is very normal to see the self as the hero in any scenario.
If you're interested in the psychological studies of privilege and the instinct to dehumanize oppressed or out-groups, check out the popular non-fiction book, "Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me)." I think it's laudable that you want to seek out other perspectives, because that's what's going to make bridge-building dialogue possible.
]
Yes, black people in the USA were enslaved. Now they are not.
White people *are* killed in hate crimes. Google "Polar Bear Hunting". There is a massive problem in Sweden with islamic immigrants raping white women, and no-one dares say a word.
Gay people - fair enough. But most of the hatred directed at gay people has been directed at gay *men*. Gay women were mostly given a pass.
Of course rich people do not starve on the streets. Poor people do. Most of those poor people who are starving on the streets are men. There's no WIC program for *them*. In the USA, many are veterans of your various wars. There are thousands of shelters and programs for women. Men are dispoasable and if we fall between the cracks, no-one gives a damn.
Males gave usually not been sold into sexual slavery - we were sold into real slavery. Or have you forgotten your first paragraph already? Men have never had their rights taken away??? Throughout most of history, pretty much no-one had rights.
Oh, and have you ever heard of "conscription"? Look it up. Wikipedia is only a click away.
What else have we got here:
Women are not being pushed away from science careers - the STEM fields are bending over backwards to try to get women interested, and they aren't biting because those fields involve math and are mainly concerned about facts rather than feels. Any woman with a STEM qualification can walk into a job that men are queuing up for.
Men are not handed life on a golden platter. We work until we die or join the forgotten homeless. If we run out of money, we are divorced, sued for alimony, and imprisoned for not paying it.
Getting life handed to you on a golden platter would involve - oh, I dunno - someone making a legal agreement to support you for the rest of your life while you swan about the home and complain about how haaaaard your day has been.
It's not something men get a lot of.
]
The Nazis actually felt threatened by the Jews, and regarded the Final Solution as an ugly thankless humanitarian travail. For all such scapegoating, historically, Alice Miller blames cultural denial, taboo, and repressed trauma of pandemic child molestation, leading to individual and mass displacement which is the unconscious transfer of an intense emotion from its original object anywhere else. And the controlling xenophobic lunatic fringe of the Republican Party sees their way of life under attack by anyone different. Hilariously, nowadays, heartlessly irresponsible ultra rich in chronic abuse of power, don't appreciate such criticism and have no sympathy for those whom they exploit. And so, they come together, commiserating in a sense of persecution. Who knows what’s the matter with these people. They do have all manner of real human troubles and dysfunctionality from which to displace. The fortunate ones will seek out the most expensive available psychotherapy. Both as a matter of compassionate morality and also simply to protect the economy upon which their profits depend, many ultra rich, by contrast, do all manner good works and struggle to preserve and advance the Middle Class who are the real job creators. But am I telling you anything we don’t all already know perfectly well? Methinks you are seeking validation not edification. So, what is all your White guilt? Don't you remember where you came from? Are you not appreciative of your advantages? Do you not strive to improve the world and yourself, both materially and otherwise? Do you not yearn to do well by doing good? If so, then visit my website: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
]
So the point you are so obviously trying to make here is that the world isn't fair...No, it certainly isn't. While I don't necessarily agree with every point you made here, in most of the examples you have a valid argument. The question here is not why do cisgender heterosexual males feel oppressed, the more important question is how do we stop promoting hatred? I must be honest, just the tone of your letter suggests to me that you dislike white cisgender heterosexual males because they are not oppressed. In affect aren't you labeling an entire group of people and disliking them because other people have it worse than they do? As long as we choose to label people this hatred will continue. If we were to be attacked by aliens from outer space tomorrow we would all come together as earthlings to fight this threat would we not? Why wait. That is how we should be viewing each other now. It has to start somewhere so I think today I will just love everybody whether life has treated them fairly or not. I think everyone would find a little more happiness if they would try to do the same.
]
This is no real answer to your question. The closest I can come to one is and old saying. "There are people who can everything in the world and still be miserable and there can be people who have nothing and be happy."
The way I explain this is: People who have everything cannot and do not get to experience the more simple pleasures in life. Example is paying of the mortgage on a home something I most recently did. I have written 360 checks to the mortgage company. I cannot put in words the feelings and comfort it gave me to write that 360th checks. For someone who has everything they may not ever experience something like that for the most likely have someone, a business manger who handles mundane things such as paying Bills.
What about buying a car. That has always been a task that both scared me and offered a great deal of fun. Doing the research to find out which car offered the most for what I had to spend. Rich people just call up a dealer and have one delivered.
It may not be they feel oppressed in the true sense of the word. What the feel is pressure from many different angles to part with what they have in charitable or non-charitable ways. Being under pressure like this cam feel like being oppressed for they receive no pleasure from what they have.
]
More Questions: |