I'm here for you. If you ever need to contact me, my email and Tumblr are there. ocalaphernelle.tumblr.com/
E-mail: Gbox360@me.com
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Member Since: January 8, 2015
Answers: 214
Last Update: October 27, 2016
Visitors: 9427
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My alcoholic mother neglected my education from age 5 by "unschooling" me (it's code for lazy parents who are too prideful to admit their failure in homeschooling) I'm going to be 18 next year and I've never been so depressed and hopeless.
I tried to motivate myself to catch up academically years ago, but it just made me too upset to even open a text book.
I have no idea what to do. I feel like I have no future. (link)
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First, it is never too late to start on your future. You have missed so many years of school? So what? You're only 18. I know it seems old but it isn't. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can get those years back. I promise you that you will regret it if you don't start now and do that for yourself if it is what you really want and dream of. Get someone else to help motivate you and hold you accountable for doing your education work. It is okay to seek help. Hire someone if you have to. You can do this. Educate yourself as much as needed for you to get into a community college eventually and if you have the brains for it (which I am sure you do) then after all that a university will seek you out and accept you if you keep your grades up. Don't let something your mother did effect the rest of your life. It is your life and you can do whatever you want to do with it. But you will have more opportunity and success if you choose school. It can be a drag but I believe it is necessary. So go start your future!
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Hello, I'm freaking out and don't know what to do. I'm completely out of money and overdrafted by -$10 in my account.
I'm a college student who just moved off to college less than a month ago and found a new job three weeks ago. It turned out though that in the first two weeks my job didn't give me very many hours as I was training so I only wound up with about $110 for the first week and haven't been paid yet for this last week and won't be paid for this week until next Thursday or later.
My issue is that I have a car payment and car insurance which totals about $425 together and my car insurance was taken out this morning, which is what overdrafted me.
I even sold a watch that I loved to make money ($80) but I sold it online and now I won't get paid for it until the buyer gets it and accepts it, but who knows when that will be when I just shipped it today.
My car payment ($316) is due on the 26th and though I have a grace period I have no idea how I'm going to be able to make this!!!
Fortunately, because I am a college student I at least have a meal plan so I can depend on that for food during the week. However, I have no money for food on the weekends or anything else I might need. I'm also 100 miles behind on an oil change in my car so I don't even feel safe driving it and it needs a synthetic change which is $60! I don't know what to do, I feel like everything is a giant disaster right now!
I can't ask my mom or dad for money because they don't have any to spare and I'm stuck on campus without any friends since I'm new here.
Please help me with some ideas!
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Okay so the first idea that popped into my head was these online surveys you can take where they pay you to take them. They don't give much but hey at least it is something. I have taken a few of those and have gotten a $5 gift card to Starbucks and such. As for other money see if you have anything else to sell, and see if anyone in the community needs jobs like mowing grass or something like that. Maybe ask some other relatives to borrow money? Or a friend from back home or something? You can also get money from pet sitting, baby sitting, house sitting, etc. I've also heard of a friend of a friend finding things that could seem rare at thrift shops or online and then selling them for more than they bought them.. but I don't know if that always works. Just try to stay safe and not do something you'll end up regretting.
Hope this helps~
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I am a girl, currently in Grade 12, and I have had a crush on this one guy in my grade since halfway through first semester grade 9.
He is really cute, and he loves singing and history. He is really funny, but can also be quite serious. He tends to be quite loud in class(he is in no way shy), but he is so sweet and kind and honest that the teachers rarely get mad at him.
I am quite(extremely...) shy when in a group setting, but one on one I tend to open up a bit. However, I only ever see this guy in class, in choir, and when our two friend groups (occasionally) hang out together.
He is always hanging around with this one group of girls, but he would never date any of them, so I know that's not an issue. The problem is that he's always with them. I get along well with all of them, a couple are even sort of my friends, but it would be awkward for me to just join their group when they are talking or whatever. I have in the past, like if they are in my class and my regular friends aren't but its just a little awkward...anyways yeah I feel too awkward to get closer to him that way.
He jokes around a lot, and when we are in a small group of people together, he sometimes/often teases me more than the other people in the group. In class the other day, he came over to talk to me, and he asked me about why I had been late for class that morning. He has done similar things a number of times in the past.
Also, just to point out, he is straight. I know this for sure. The girls he hangs out with have been his friends for years, they are like sisters to him...
Another problem- I am scared to tell my friends I like him. I told them a couple years ago, but they laughed and told me we would make a really awkward couple (probably because I'm 5'9", and at the time he was super skinny and like 5'3", but he's grown since then). I would love to have their support, but we don't really talk about guys much, and I feel like I've been lying to them for years about this guy..not that I ever lied...I just didn't speak up...
Also, casual out-of-school meetings are difficult because he lives in a different city than I do, although we go to the same school (it's a private school). I can't just casually invite him to do something with me like randomly on a Saturday because he lives like a 45 minute drive away..
I guess what I want to know is: do I have any chance with him? and how do I got about getting that chance? (link)
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Okay so it's obviously a good sign he hasn't dated any of those girls and that the girls aren't rude to you or anything. I would definitely say you have a chance (: about telling your friends.. On one hand, if you told then, that would secure your spot with him so that your friends know you like him and they can't go after him. However, on the other hand, girls especially tend to spread things. So unless you want that spread around the school, I suggest you only tell a few friends you are super close to and trust. It was a long time ago so I doubt they'll laugh but if they do then who cares? I know you want their support but teens are often lame and immature so they might not give it. I say you definitely go for him! Make your move! Its a great thing that you've liked him all these years and if he knew that (once you guys start dating unless you want to express your feelings instead of asking him out) that would probably be good brownie points for you. Since he lives far away, find a good place halfway between you two. Its okay if it's like a 20 minute drive bc that's not that much. But yeah find a nice restaurant or a movie theater or a good hangout place, whatever suits your fancy. But yeah that's what I suggest. Defintiwly do something though! If you're in 12th grade you have no time to lose!
Hope this helps ~
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My life kind of started to end on July 15 2014. My wife of 52 years and I were sitting on our deck when we looked at each other and said, You know something we got it made. That was because I had finally retired and we had moved into our new house in the mountains. That was around one pm when we spoke those words.
That night around seven we got a call from one of our daughters (Barb). She told us that she had just left the doctors and they had told her she had stage four ovarian cancer, and that she had 1 to 5 years to live.
This as you can imagine floored us. The next morning my wife (Elaine) and I packed her suitcase. We decided that my wife would move in with Barb to help her as much as possible. Barb lives three hours away, so we thought I would drive down on weekends and bring our dog with me.
After three months of Elaine staying there and me coming down on weekends, the stress got so bad between my wife and I. You see, Elaine is 71 years old and she was taking care of Barbs whole house. There are four in the family, Barb, her husband (Jeff) daughter (Kristin age 21) and son (Jeffery age 17). She looked like she was 90 years old. This was killing my wife. Well after three months had gone by, Barb went back to work, so Elaine decided to come home and we would go down on weekends. This lasted till 1/10/16 when Barb passed away.
When my wife came home, I was relieved that she could rest and try to get back to somewhat of a normal life. Well that did not happen. From the minute and I mean minute Elaine walked in the door I was accused of having an affair. I could not believe my ears. Her reasoning was she found Cialis in my bureau drawer. After her throwing this at me I showed her that it was a sample with my name written on it. The funny part of it was, Elaine was the one that picked it up at the doctors office. By the way our doctor not only wrote my name on the box but the date 1/16/2012. Four years before we moved to the mountains.
That was the end of that session. But two weeks later she told me my girlfriend stole five pair of her jeans from the closet. I could go on an on about the accusations but to name just a few. Cigarette butts found in the street meant my girlfriend was standing there watching the house. I was told while we where both out shopping together that there was blood on our mattress pad. When we got home the blood had disappeared. Now remember we never left each others side.
I won’t bore you with more details because there is over 50 accusations made. None of which were true.
Anyway last week a new neighbor moved in and you guessed it I was having an affair with her.
Well two days ago she left me, drained our bank accounts of over $125,000. Leaving me not only with my wife of 52 years but without a penny.
I can’t do this anymore. As much as I love her I want it all to end. I can’t stand the pain. I sit here and look at a bottle of pills the doctor gave us for depression and can’t stop thinking this would end my pain. I was a strong willed man all my life, a rough and tumble construction worker. Well I am a broken man now. She broke me and took my will to live.
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I am terribly sorry this has all happened to you. I know what it's like for everything to just come down hard all at once and you see no way out except through death but that isn't true. I think your wife is suffering with schizophrenia (mood swings? Maybe bipolar too) because my dad has has bipolar schizophrenia for 20 years now and though his accusations were more towards other people that aren't in the family, they were still just as bizarre. Your wife Needs medication and maybe even to be hospitalized if it gets any worse (which they can only do if they are a danger to themselves or others) if she gets medication than she can come back to reality and things could be okay again so you would have thrown it all away. You cannot give up. First things first you need to switch stuff in your bank account so she can no longer access it. Do you have any other kids? Maybe you could stay with them or a friend or other family until you can get back on your feet or something? The stress and pressure of your daughters passing is obviously what caused this break in your wife. It could be fixed. You still have more to live for. There is an entire plan for everyone and yours has not yet run out. You must keep going. If not for yourself, then for the people in your life. You were given your life because you are strong enough to handle it. Please do not make a permanent mistake because of a temporary fix in your life. Talk to someone and get help to help you get by.
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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help. (link)
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I don't think you necessarily made a mistake bc you said the truth which you can't be in a serious relationship rn bc you need to get your life together, which is understandable, and he should understand that. I believe if y'all are really meant to be together like he's the one then eventually you will be because that's how life works out. But timing is everything so you never know when the right time is but if it's right it'll happen. To really get over someone you gotta make association with them at a minimal. You'll get no where fast by staying really close with him rn, trust me. Distance yourself, but not so much that it makes it worse with him ya know? Try to keep yourself busy constantly, that's how I distract myself because then you have no time to sulk and think about it a lot. Forgiveness takes time. You have to look at it as you were strong enough to stand up for yourself and put yourself first because sometimes we have to do that. You made a decision, now the only direction is forward so don't look back, you're not going that way. If you really think you made a mistake, it's okay, people aren't perfect and you have to make mistakes to learn. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Hope this helps~
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I am creating a faux research proposal for a class and my stats background is very limited.
The study I am creating has to do with parental empathy and child's conduct.
Parental empathy is measured by coding a parent interview and dichotomizes empathy as either high empathy or low empathy.
Conduct is measured by a teacher questionnaire and is again dichotomized, high conduct problems with low conduct problems.
What statistical test should I use to compare these two dichotomized variables? (link)
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Well first, your stats have to be accurate, so whatever you choose must be backed up with information and examples to make it correct. Perhaps something like, "statistics show, that one out of every three parents do not show the proper empathy level" or "two out of every three parents leans towards sympathy over empathy." It all depends on how your interviews go and what your statistics come up to, but you should also compare yours with statistics on the matter on the Internet. You could also go the percentage route, like "most children grow up with only 3 out of 10% empathy from their parent(s)" or "60% of kids get little to no empathy from parental supervisors and-" something like that. I'm pretty sure the empathy level for most of parents is very slim.
Hope this helps~
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While my boyfriend is eating me out, my legs and my arms and everything go tingly and I cant control my body and I want to close my legs. Am I about to orgasm or what? Why does it make me want to close my legs? (link)
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When most girls orgasm their body try's to fight it and hold it back. Kind of like slowly giving in. Guys just let go and that's a reason why they orgasm easier than girls. Could be something to do with being somewhat "lady-like" or something, but theyre losing control of their body. But girls' bodies just want to hold back but eventually give it in.
Hope this helps!
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I'm a white cisgender homosexual female. White racism isn't real, cisphobia isn't real, misandry isn't real, and heterophobia isn't real. Were white people enslaved and segregated for decades and still get killed in hate crimes? Nope. Do cisgenders get an increased risk of being bullied, suicidal, or killed? Nope. Did heterosexuals get burned and prevented from being married and have people insult them for holding hands in public, or people call things they don't like "straight"? Nope. Do rich people starve on the streets and have no clothes or water and need to work their ass off? Nope. Did males ever get sold into sexual slavery, rights taken away, pushed from science careers? Nope. It makes no sense to me these people who had everything handed to them on a golden platter with a silver spoon in their mouth already with a head start in life feel opressed. Why? (link)
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A major thing for, I believe, everyone, is taking things for granted. No matter what anyone says, we all do it at least a little bit sometimes. Doesn't matter who you are, or what it is, it happens. It especially happens to people with more privilege. They severely take what they have for granted, and unfortunately, don't always use their privilege to good causes. (I.E giving money to charity, etc.) The fact of the matter is for a lot of these types of people, is they don't really care, either. As long as they have security, that's all that matters. Now this isn't always the case. Some cisgender, heterosexual, white, men work their whole lives through sweat and tears to get what they have now, and whether they use their current privilege for good or not, depends on the person. I think it's also important to remember that we shouldn't scoff at some people's situations or feelings towards their situations just because we have, or know someone who has, worse circumstances. But I think the root of their feelings of oppression is not knowing what they have, honestly, and perhaps not caring.
Hope this helps~
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No one is giving me the support I want n it been so hard 2 me because I haven't tell anyone how I fell (link)
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What do you seek support on? You can tell me how you feel. My email is listed and also my kik is "ocalaphernelle." Or You can just send me another message on here telling me if you want.
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Hello Everyone! How do I add pending friend requests to follower list?
I recently turned 18 and I have over 2000 friend requests when I was minor. But they don't show up as my followers. My follower list has 2 people who added me after I turned 18. How do I convert them into followers? thank you. (link)
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You cannot convert them. The people themselves choose whether or not to follow you or not. Followers on FB is a new thing, so if most of your friends are from years past, then could explain why they aren't following you.
Hope this helps~
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Hi... I was in a long distance relationship... After texting and calling for what seemed like forever,a few years we saw each other...... We did this week... And we had a long talk.
And he broke up with me.. Saying we couldn't be together. That he couldn't give me 110% and that further down the road he would cheat on me. And to not wait for him anymore. And I was wonderful and all that crap....
Now,here is the confusing part..
He said right after 'don't wait for me' that he isn't 100% giving up on him and I... Us... Later he went on to say... All I needed to do was move out here (in the bay area) and get a part time job..
I asked him if he could do better than me.... He said no..
He said he didn't want to break up with me... He didn't want to do this... He loves me... And I saw it in his eyes that he didn't want to hurt me or break my heart.... His body language was so uncomfortable... And his eyes had some held back tears going on....
I've left messages... He hasn't responded... But he keeps viewing my Snapchat..
Also,he said he was going to pray for me and to text him when I got home... And he wanted to keep talking and stay in touch... Which obviously he has not...
Another thing.. I looked straight in his eyes... And I asked him... Is there a battle going on inside of you still even though you made a choice? He responded with yes..... I told him,that if he was still battling with a desicion after he made a choice,that it was the wrong one...
Advice please,what do I do now? Did he make the right choice? Even though he's still deciding in heart what do even though he made a choice? What is going on?? Thanks for the advice in advanced (link)
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Long distance relationships are Never easy or ideal. Not to be sexist at all, but it is especially hard for guys because quite a lot of them are more physical (not all of course) so having you there with him is what he would prefer, naturally. He clearly wants to still be with you but just in person and not far away, which is understandable. Frankly, long distance isn't a good idea, so in a way, I think he made the right call. The reason he hasn't been responding is most likely bc he is trying to make it easier on himself to move on, bc if he loves you, talking at first to you isn't going to help you two move on. So you can either do one of two things: 1. try to move on and eventually stay friends, or 2. have one of you two move near each other and stay together.
Hope this helps~
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Hey so my girlfriend and I are both in a long distance relationship for two months now, we're 14. The problem is, she'll sometimes have bad mood swings and get really mad at people for no reason. She's sick right now too, so that's not helping much. I was just wondering is there anything I can say to help her? I love her and I don't want anything to happen to her because of these mood swings
thanks (link)
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I think you should probably just tell her that everything is or will be okay and that you are there for her if she needs you at all. Whatever you do, do NOT tell her to calm down or that she is overreacting or ANYTHING like that. Trust me, it will only make it worse. You can try to make things easier for her by giving advice, just listening, talking to the person she is mad at, or get angry with her. A lot of people, especially girls, like it when you get mad upset about something with them. You can also if you want try to look up things that might help her and her moods, but that could backfire on you. Not everyone likes a problem solver or a know-it-all, or she might turn around and get mad at you. Just make sure you're there for her, like a shoulder to cry on.
Hope this helps~
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My boyfriend asked me tonight if I was a virgin because he is and has never done anything at all. We've been dating on a couple weeks and I didn't know how to answer it though. This is why:
I've gave a few guys head
I've been fingered A LOT
I had anal twice
I masturbate like once a day
I never had like...sex sex, you know? Like the making babies kind LOL. You know what I mean. Does that mean I'm a virgin? (link)
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Yes you are technically still a virgin. That is what practically everyone associates virginity with. Virginity is a more of a term used by society to define whether you have had sex or not, even though I think what determines whether you are a virgin or not in the scientific world, would be whether your "cherry has been popped" or not. That just means whether the "circle" of skin on the outside of your vagina has been broken. That usually happens during sex, but could be broken sometimes through large tampons, or intense sexual activity (really heavy masturbation perhaps or like being fingered vigorously, etc.) But it is safe to say to your boyfriend that you are a virgin.
Hope this helps~
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23/F
So basically I'll start off with I was with my boyfriend for 5 years and when we broke up in June I felt so sad i have always had depression and self harmed myself but no one knew Fourth of July weekend I felt the saddest I have ever felt and looked at my medicine cabinet and said what am I going to take to kill myself I thought about death every day and thought it was normal. I talked to my doctor and she put me on zoloft. I have never felt better until yesterday. I met this new guy and I finally moved on to my ex we had sex twice both with condoms. The only skin on skin action was us in the shower but we never physically did it until after with a condom. The next day I had an outrageous yeast infection and I found out yesterday I have Herpes. I have only been with 2 people and this is what happens...the guy I slept with is in denial and said he doesn't have anything but maybe he does now because I gave it to him! He was with his ex for 2 years and he said they are both fine. I just don't understand how this happened to me and now I am back in my hole where I don't want to live anymore. I feel broken and sad and nobody is going to want me. (link)
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Herpes can spread through various ways. Such as oral sex, anal, and of course regular. But it also can be spread through the skin. Apparently you can get an infection from it just by having contact with the sore or perhaps through sweat or some other function. But in order to get it, you have to have that type of contact with someone else who has it. So either your ex has it, or your current boyfriend does. The only way to find out is to have them tested. I know that having herpes may seem like a hopeless and isolated thing, but you must've give up. Whoever you are with will have to be okay with it because it is now a part of who you are. So before anything gets serious with whom you date, you MUST let them know what they're getting into. Many people have herpes, it's quite common in the U.S, and they've just had to learn to cope with it. You'll eventually find someone who will love you enough to take that task on in order to be with you. Although there is no cure for herpes, there are medications you can take to help make it less likely for your partner to receive it, but of course, no guarantees. Please don't take a permanent action that you will regret or that will result in losing your life. You must keep going.
Hope this helps~
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i am 13, and i live with my adoptive parents. my real mom had me at 16 and got me token away when i was very young. i have always said that i would not be a teen mom, that i would wait for after marriage. but yesterday i found out that i am pregnant. how do i tell my parents? and i will not get an abortion and i don't want to give my baby away. so how will i tell my mom( that is 6 months pregnant) and dad that their 13 year old daughter is pregnant and wants to keep her baby? (link)
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I mean, there really is nothing special you can say other than that. Sit them down and tell it like it is, "Guys, I know you're probably really disappointed in me, but I found out that I'm pregnant, and I want to keep the baby." There isn't anything in particular you can do differently, except wait for the right time and such.
Hope this helps~
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Hello all. I'm a 19 year old female college student. Several months ago, whilst black out drunk at my friend's apartment, I groped his roommate. I have no recollection of this, but apparently I rubbed the guy's crotch. Several people were in the room with us at the time. I think he asked me to stop and I believe I did.
The next day, my friend's roommate was discussing the events of the previous night with my friend, and said something like, "if the roles were reversed, and I did that to her, she'd be calling the police." When my friend told me this I felt absolutely awful, like a complete monster. I asked him to apologize to his roommate for me and he said that my apology was accepted and that his roommate understood that I was drunk.
I still feel really bad, like a sexual predator or something. I'm really worried that I harmed my friend's roommate, although my friend said that in all honesty he's pretty sure his roommate has long forgotten about it. Months have passed and I can't get over it. How can I forgive myself and move on? (link)
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I know it's been a while but I think the only way to really move on is to get closure, yourself. Just go over to him and be like "hey I know it's been a while but I still feel AWFUL about what I did and I'm sorry this is late but I never do that and I am so unbelievably sorry. " and you could do something nice like bake cookies saying "I'm sorry" or something. But you should do something to make amends, either way.
Hope this helps~
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There is a girl that I really like, but I think she is taken. I was never good with talking/asking a girl out, I'm to nervous about asking a girl out cause I don't know what to say, or I don't know how to build up the courage to ask a girl out. What do I do?!?!
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I think you should find out through someone else or on something like Facebook or something whether or not she is taken or not. If it's one thing you shouldn't be, is a home-wrecker. If she isn't taken, you must go for it!! No better time than now, and you could lose her. I know it's hard, but you'll regret it, trust me. You always regret the things you didn't do more than the things you do. Just be super chill like "hey could I get your number?" Or if she is the type to like cheesy pick up lines then do something like "hey can I use your phone?" And then call yourself and be like "well now you got my number. So call me sometime." There are other things you can do, but the point is, do it!
Hope this helps~
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Hello!
As the headline says, im trying to be a better man, and being able to do some self defense is never bad idea. I heared that some martial arts are tied with some sort of philosophy and through it teaching other things for life then just "beating people" (because beating people is NOT my desire in the first place). I will be most grateful if you give me any suggestions i could follow.
Thank you! (link)
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I myself don't know too much about martial arts tbh with you, so I talked to a friend of mine who does and has been involved with it for quite some time. He suggested Brazilian jiu jitsu. A few martial arts are very focused on competing and beating people, so I specifically asked about a focus on self defense. (:
Hope this helps~
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A few days ago my parents bought and brought home a new cat.We have a dog but he is old and in bad health.At first i really liked the cat,its a sweet cat but here i am today thinking how its just not clicking,cats are so different from dogs and i cant adjust to it,i really tried.And i feel so shitty and guilty from having another animal while my dog is still alive.I cant handle.I think that im gonna have to tell my parents to return it tomorrow.Please dont judge me,i spent the whole night yesterday crying because of it and i hate this situation,i cant live with another animal.What do you think is best? (link)
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I think you should either give the cat back to the shop if it's a good no-kill place, but if not, take it to a humane society or another no-kill place. Or, see if anyone you know (and knowing they're a good home) has been looking for a cat or would want a cat. You could also try and give it some more time and see how you feel after a little bit? You should always give things a bit of time to adjust and what not, especially an animal.
Hope this helps~
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I want to die.please help me.my husband praises my sisterinlaw I just can't bare.I can die instead. I explained this to him.but he did not change.I'm working and have 2kids.so I'm always busy.and tht lady has no kids and stays at home.he praises for everything. I want to kill myself
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Woah woah Woah, do NOT do anything permanent! I don't entirely understand what is going on, so please just talk to me or one of us about what is bothering you. You can send me a message explaining what is going on exactly. You have kids and people that need you. Do not kill yourself, please talk to someone. There are even hotlines. This is one: 1800-273-8255. Please. There are alternatives and options.
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