Member Since: October 8, 2011
Answers: 77
Last Update: May 22, 2018
Visitors: 3715
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so me an my boyfriend are long distance and so this week i said i wanted a break so it started Tuesday night so i texted him Thursday and said it felt like night days and that i miss him then he said your one crazy bitch that took me by shock like i feel its messed up but i also love him to death but should i leave him (link)
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You have to respect yourself enough to know that if it’s bothering you enough to make you come online and ask what you should do about it, I think deep down you already know the answer. Do you find it respectful of him to call you out of your name? Anytime you two have a conflict or you may do something that he doesn’t like would you like for him to respond that way??? I think you need to make it EXTREMELY clear that you don’t like/appreciate/tolerate that and if he doesn’t understand that then I say you need to find someone who actually respects you. Hope that I could help
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Hey , so I'm a 21 years old who just moved out by himself and started living independently ; i used to live with my dad 3 months ago but due to excessive amounts of arguments/fights , i moved out. The issue that I'm having is that i have no friends or someone to hang out with. That's what i need the most ; i focus on work and college(skipped this semester) too much but i need time to relax and enjoy life . How do i go about making new friends ; I live in Queens,NY which is impossible to make friends. I've tried dating apps but realized they were
a waste of time. people tend to be antisocial,rude,so into themselves like i don't understand , especially here in NY. Thank you (link)
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I think one of the easiest ways to make friends is through doing things you enjoy. For example if you love to read, research book clubs that meet in your area. If you like being outside, find events in your area that are outside and like minded people will be there. Also if it’s possible, making friends with your co workers. That’s probably where you spend a good amount of your time and it will make the work day more enjoyable and give you an easy way to strike up conversation. Hope that I could help!
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A couple months ago I went to a party and got very drunk. A guy gave me a few Xanax pills and some lines of other drugs. We went into a hot tub and the water was too hot so I tried to get out but he pushed my head down under the water and then I blacked out. I came to and I was in a bathroom and my clothes were gone and the door was opening and then I blacked out again. I woke up and he was having sex with me. I blacked out again then woke up and I was blowing him and I tried to stop because I couldn't breathe but I blacked out again. This kept happening throughout the night where I would black out and wake up and he was having sex with me or I would be blowing him or whatever. I'm a recovering drug addict and have been speaking with my AA sponsor about this and she says it was rape. I feel sick and terrible every time I think about it and I can't stop crying. However I feel like it was my fault for getting too drunk, also I don't know if I said no or not because I was blacked out and unconscious the majority of the time it was happening. Was this rape or just me being stupid? (link)
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First off, please do not blame yourself in this situation. Whether you were sober or drunk has nothing to do with his actions. I'm very sorry that this happened to you. If you weren't conscious to give consent, then yes that was rape. I pray that you have the strength to get through this. Your AA sponsor is right, and if you haven't told your parents I encourage you to. God bless you
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Im 17, girl and im in high school, im really shy and im introvert....im feel so lonely and depressed ..i have friend in classmate but im not really close to them ....there are two girls in my classmate im mostly talking but the two of them are really close and they talk to me they dont tell me more personal stuff...how am i supposed to join them when they're already good friend, and i feel lonely because no one texts me first or asks me to hang out with them :/ :( i ask them to hang out with me, they says but on the last minúte tney cancel it, even im introvert i want to go out with my friend , but i have no one to go out with , i go out with my best friend but we dont meet often bc she goes on different high school, and she's busy, im also jealous of my twin brother (we go to the same class) bc he goes out everyday friday, and im at home :(...so i dont know how to.get close to these girls i talk to and im kinda friend.with them..im.scared to be spontaneous for example spontaneously take photo with them.bc im scared i will embarrass or they wouldn like to také photo.with me...i have this problem with other stuff :/ so please help me what to.do
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I'm sorry you're having a difficult time making friends. I can say from personal experience that it can be hard to push past being shy and introverted. However, I encourage you to do just that. It may feel weird and uncomfortable at first but you have to realize that not everyone is gonna make the first move or go out of their way to strike up a conversation. Even though it may be hard sometimes, making the first move and talking to someone could very well lead you to building a great friendship with someone. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Those that reject you aren't good friends anyways. The ones that stick around and accept you for who you are, are the ones that you should consider friends. Also, remember that making friends requires you to be a good friend as well. I hope that this helps in someway and that you push past the shyness. They're are so many different types of people at high school so just remember, there is someone out there that you can connect with in some way. Hope that I could help. God bless!
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My alcoholic mother neglected my education from age 5 by "unschooling" me (it's code for lazy parents who are too prideful to admit their failure in homeschooling) I'm going to be 18 next year and I've never been so depressed and hopeless.
I tried to motivate myself to catch up academically years ago, but it just made me too upset to even open a text book.
I have no idea what to do. I feel like I have no future. (link)
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I'm very sorry for the neglect you faced as a child. I can't say that I know how you feel, but I do know that there are good people in the world who you encounter all the time and may not even realize. God has a great plan for your life, regardless of the hard times you've gone through. I encourage you to reach out to people for help. You never know who may among you that can help you with education, depression, and feeling hopeless. If you don't go to church now, I encourage you to go and get plugged in to people in the church. I believe if you allow yourself to not be defeated by the hardships of life that something truly beautiful can come out of it. God bless you.
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I like drawing but I'm not sure what I should draw. I tried googling things but I can only find vapid objects such as forks and eyes. Ideas? (link)
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Try looking on pinterest! Searching different photography pictures that you can mimic or use as inspiration! What interests you? Nature? Animals? People? Hope that this helps some :)
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I'm wondering if it's racist to call a black person chocolate as a compliment. I hear it used in books and stuff often. But I've heard some people say it's offensive. Is is racist? Preferably answers by black people. (link)
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It honestly depends on the persons motives behind it. I've heard it as an actual compliment and I've heard it used in a derogatory sense. It completely depends. I mean as a black female if someone called me that I wouldn't necessarily be offended by it unless the person purposely said it in a negative way. Hoped that this answer helps!
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Hi I'm June and I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 17 soon to be 18. You've probably heard this sort of situation tons of times but my boyfriend wants to have sex and we've had this conversation multiple times of how I feel I'm not ready and I have told him my decision was no and the other night the subject came up again and I told him I wasn't ready but he wasn't really accepting my answer and he was like if you trust me you'll let me do it. I trust him a lot and I really like him and he knows that but I myself just don't feel ready and he kept pushing for me to change my mind and I gave in and said I'd have sex with him and now I'm gonna see him sometime this week and he wants to do it, idk what to do I'm scared and I'm not ready to have sex but he doesn't want no for an answer what should I do. I love him a lot but I'm just not ready, any advice is helpful. (link)
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He should value you more then he values his desire to have sex. If you're not ready to have sex or anything else for that matter and you say no, that should be the bottom line. Remember there is a difference between pressuring and forcing. You're still in control of whether you have sex with him even if he is pressuring you. And if he can't understand and respect that, he isn't the one for you anyways. Hoped that I could help :)
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Why does dating always have to be such a negative experience? I've never had a boyfriend and haven't had much experience dating because every time it sucks. It crushes my heart and soul in some way and I always end up disappointed or disgusted, by guys who treat me like shit. My mom says "dating is supposed to be fun and at your age (24) you should be dating a lot of people at once." Yeah I wish. That would be nice, for it to be just fun and that's it. Unfortunately, after going out and/or making out with a guy, what follows is debilitating sadness and disappointment. And cynicism. It is just never "fun." It's never a good experience. How am I going to reach the "destination" of having a good, trustworthy boyfriend, if the process of finding it is so painful and unenjoyable? Is this normal? (link)
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I feel like you need to reevaluate your motives for having a boyfriend. The purpose of dating is for a long term relationship that will result in marriage. If you just want a temporary relationship for the purpose of some short term satisfaction then usually those relationships will end badly or cause emotions of sadness or confusion. Dating is indeed suppose to be fun and yes every relationship has its rocky moments but overall it shouldn't be dragging you down. I don't think it is normal for HEALTHY relationships to cause pain and sadness but I do however think it is normal for UNHEALTHY relationships to cause pain or sadness. So I think you need to step back and look at what type of relationship you may be getting into and see if it looks like an unhealthy short term relationship or a healthy long term relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage.
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Now I'd like to start off that I have depression, for a few years now, I am 17/female. I don't know how this plays into this well enough or has little.
Anyways, for thepast month my depression has gotten hard on me, all the whileI've slowly detached myself from my boyfriend, and with trying to converse with him during those weeks has made him irritated from my lethargy and dealing with me, and soon I called myself off from him and became distant to him. My feelings just started to fade, feelings for him and also I couldn't very well identify my own emotions. It's gotten worse between us and before any of this problem I had made a new (male) friend. I had no intentions to have feelings for him but now they're starting to form little by little. It's all a bit too confusing. Now getting out of the hard hit of depression I had gotten now I'm trying to work it out, but I feel like I'm rejecting a bunch of things out of fear of what'll happen. My boyfriend is sweet, caring, and I'm completely comfortable with but then, sometimes he is just so messy and disrespectful to his parents, embarrassing and boring at times. And then with this other guy, through out my worst days, has managed to make me laugh, talking almost non-stop. While my boyfriend has made me feel pushed away, like what went on inside didn't matter, now all I can explain is "I don't know what's going on inside, I'm sorry" and its tearing me apart if its just depression dampening my emotions or if its legitimate, any of them. Thank you if you read all of this. (link)
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Hi :) I'm no doctor or expert on depression and all the effects it can have on the mind and body but no one knows your body better then yourself. If you think that the loss of feelings for your boyfriend is coming from your depression then you should listen to yourself. If you're taking anti-depressants or getting counseling, you should continue to do that and then give it some time and see how you feel about your boyfriend after some time. If it's not your depression and it's an actual loss of interest in your boyfriend then I can see why you may be slightly losing interest. As your boyfriend it's an expectation for him to show some sign of caring about things you have going on in your life. It may not be that you're actually into this new male friend of yours. It may just be that he's giving you the things your boyfriend is neglecting to give you. I think the best thing you can do is give yourself some time to try and figure out what's causing you to feel the way you do. I hope you get to the bottom of the problem and that your depression goes away. Hope that I could help.
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I am always gassy , a lot of you say to drink more water, i drink a gallon a day and i eat healthy and i am still extremely gassy,it is annoying. I have also tried beano and it works for a while and then it is back. There has to be something i can do. It is embarassing when i am at the gym. It all most makes me not want to go. HELP!!!!!! (link)
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Try taking a probiotic once a day. It helps with digestion and keeping your stomach on track. Also observe what you eat.It may not necessarily be unhealthy, but you're stomach may not be a fan of it. I'm sorry, I know how you feel. I have stomach issues as well but the probiotic really does help. Also try eating yogurt. It's a natural probiotic and is a tasty treat. Hope that I could help :)
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I am wondering if it would be sinful to get one just for fun. It s cheap. Would something bad happen if I got a reading? Would it open the doors to evil? (link)
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Yes it is a sin. The bible tells us not to listen to false prophets and don't give place to the Devil. By getting your palm read or going to a psychic you're honestly opening up a door to something you don't fully understand and trust me don't want to be apart of.
Leviticus 19:31
“Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them: I am the Lord your God."
It's basically saying, don't go to black magic or psychics or other things of that nature. By doing so you're weighing yourself down, and putting your faith and trust in something else other then God. Hope that I could help :)
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im already doing the inversion method for 7 days........ And using warm olive oil and massaging it into my scalp for a bit........ And drying my hair with a t shirt instead of a towel....... And not blow drying or curling it or straightening it....... And putting my hair into a silky shower cap at night........ And using mane n tail shampoo and conditioner (I know that doesn't make your hair grow btw. It makes your hair strong and healthy so it can grow faster)........... And keeping a bristled headband in my hair........... And brushing it gently every morning, afternoon and night........... And I'm going to start taking vitamins......... What else is there?! Thank you!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Try cowashing which means just using shampoo and not conditioner. A lot of times shampoos have harsh sulfates in them that damage the hair. Try to do low maintenance hairstyles so that you can leave your hair alone and just let it breathe. It sounds like you're doing all the right things other then the things I listed. Some people's hair just take longer to grow. Don't worry, length isn't everything :)
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Is it Ms. or Mz. addressing some lady you do not know in a letter? (link)
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You can say Ms. or Miss. But it definitely is not Mz. hoped that I could help thanks
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My mom is having surgery tomorrow and she will be recovering all week so I will be the one to take care of them all week while she is recovering my niece is 14 and my nephew is 12 and I wanted ideas for activities for the week to do with them and meal ideas (link)
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Movies are always a good idea. Tell them to both pick their favorite movie. If that gets boring, baking treats is always fun! A little messy but shouldn't be hard to manage considering their ages. As far as food try something easy like pizza or make your own sub sandwiches! Hoped that I could help thanks!
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so basically a friend told me that there were people that talks behind my back and those people who said mean stuff about me, 1) i dont even know them, 2) we barely talk so they dont know who am i!!!!
what did i do wrong? what am i suppose to do now?
i was going to just ignore them but i feel sad because i didnt even do anything wrong and get hated on? thats just unreasonable man. (link)
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You will soon learn that you could literally sit in your house all day minding your business and people will still have something negative to say about you. Which is why you should make an effort to not care about people's opinions. I promise you it will make all the difference in the world for you when you stop caring about EVERYONE'S opinion. It is literally impossible to please everyone. Your priority should be to please yourself, and make sure that you're happy with yourself. I know it's upsetting or makes you sad when people gossip about you but those people are beneath you and shouldn't consume your time and thoughts. And hey! Really it's none of our business what other people say about us anyways! Hope that I could help!
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I am about to start my fashion blog, and I would appreciate some tips how to get more readers. I would also like to improve my article writing skills a little bit. (link)
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Social media is your biggest advantage nowadays. You could post pictures on Instagram telling people to check out your blog, put the link in your bio. You can put it on your snapchat story. Or even tweet about it. Get your friends to also spread the word by voice or if they're willing, they can even use their social media to get to people you may not be able to reach. As far as writing skills, try writing as if people have no idea what you're talking about. Write as if they have never heard of some of the things you are writing about. This will help you to be more descriptive and use better visual words. There's even a fashion adjective list online that gives you creative fashion words you may not have thought of on your own. Write like you're trying to convince them with every bone in your body that what you're writing about is important and must be shown to them to improve their life! Also keep in mind that if you put in the work and make an effort to have a successful blog, the people will come to you!
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No one is giving me the support I want n it been so hard 2 me because I haven't tell anyone how I fell (link)
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I definitely think that you should let people know how you feel. Sometimes people don't realize how their actions affect someone so they don't bother changing. But if you would let them know how you feel, there's a better chance that you will get a better response. Remember though that if no one is on your side, God is! Be your own fan. Work hard for what you want and don't look so hard for man's satisfaction. Trust me it's not everything. Hoped that I could help.
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I'm a white cisgender homosexual female. White racism isn't real, cisphobia isn't real, misandry isn't real, and heterophobia isn't real. Were white people enslaved and segregated for decades and still get killed in hate crimes? Nope. Do cisgenders get an increased risk of being bullied, suicidal, or killed? Nope. Did heterosexuals get burned and prevented from being married and have people insult them for holding hands in public, or people call things they don't like "straight"? Nope. Do rich people starve on the streets and have no clothes or water and need to work their ass off? Nope. Did males ever get sold into sexual slavery, rights taken away, pushed from science careers? Nope. It makes no sense to me these people who had everything handed to them on a golden platter with a silver spoon in their mouth already with a head start in life feel opressed. Why? (link)
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Great question. I think it's all about mindset, and your gratitude for the things you do have. To a person who has pretty much everything handed to them, they don't know what's it's truly like to struggle or have to push and work despite people telling them they're not good enough. I know it's stupid and there definitely needs to be change. People who really are being bullied for who they are, or are rejected just because of the color of their skin need to be in the spotlight for once. But with selfish, greedy, powerful people, it's hard to do that. All I know is, is that we should make sure that we are doing well and once we have ourselves taken care of, we should do something to help those who don't have a voice or are being ignored by society. I agree with you 100% and see that it really is a problem. Hope we can all do our part to help those who need it, and get those who have everything to see that it's not all about them. Thanks for the question!
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Hello my name is ... well that honestly doesn't matter . I've been sexually abused by 3 family members and 4 other male's in my life .
I was abused by a family member at home . it started when I was 2 years old... well that's as far as I remember .
I hate the person so much . I cry my self to sleep . I have cuts all over my thigh's .
I try to forgive but I cant . how could I ?
how could someone do something to a innocent little girl .
my mom cried when she found out she was having me . I was the " accident child " .
she didn't want me .. I know she didn't .
I always felt like a mistake to this world .
maybe I am . Im no one important just a 14 year old girl who got sexually abused by her own father . ive become so suicidal I wish everything would just end . - abby (link)
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1. You're not a mistake. God chose you and has a plan for your life.
2. I'm very very sorry about the abuse that you faced but abusing yourself isn't gonna heal your past.
3. You're stronger then you think you are. You wake up every morning and live your life. If you weren't capable of doing that then you wouldn't be here today.
You don't have to let your abusive past define your future. God knows the plans he has for you. They are prosperous plans and you need to stick around to see them :) Find an adult, whether it be a teacher at school or someone in your community you trust. Talk to them about the things going on in your head. We need other people in our life. We weren't meant to do life alone. Please don't cut yourself because, you're beautiful and deserve good things in life. I pray that God will heal your wounds and that you will find strength through your story.
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